Discord's Story Time

by Lamia

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1071

Why don't you have a seat over there?

I'll read you all a quick little something from recent times... Take a seat, little brony-slash-pegasis. Story time!

Published 2012-02-19 00:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-19 00:24:01 UTC

Click on these words, if you don't mind.

~ Discord's Story Time ~

You ought to try reading something simple for once, like this little story, sheesh. What, were you expecting some epic thing about tossing a magical ring into a volcano after a trip across the world, causing a lot of false endings along the way? This was all I wrote.

With a splash of magic, the room was covered in polka-dots and stripes and crayons and pudding and even clashing drapes, OH yes, you better believe it.

"Achoo!" Twilight magically sneezed a good one, thanks to me, sending more glowing magical ooze every which way. All of the ponies started to duck and cover, except those main (Or was it mane, you punny little fans?) six. They seemed to get the wrong impression that I wanted to change their way of life again; it was fun of course, but I did that once already, doing it again so soon would cheapen the joke.

"Give me a chance to show you my own little pranks!" Just because I turned Ponyville into a wondrous anarchic candy land that ONE time... Accursed ponies and their 'logic', their 'sense'. "Can't you understand? Don't worry your pretty little manes, I'm not here to fight, but rather enjoy the day with you all!" I was entirely innocent. It made me feel so disheartened, the way they all looked at me; I just wanted to have some fun with them during this fine spring day!

One of those random background ponies in the background (as a note, she really was in the background, due to me turning her into a chalk drawing on the wall) shouted out and they all said "Yeah!" in unison.

"Discord, we won't forget what you did!"

"I'm so glad you all remember me, I could cry!" I wiped away a tear, and it fell onto a cupcake, turning it into a waffle; blueberry, obviously, the only good kind of course. "This time I wanted to visit you all, since you are so near and dear to my heart... Every year I come out to visit all the lovely little ponies of the world. Why, today is the holiday for fun, for jokes, for chaos... for me!"

They asked me how I could possibly have escaped my imprisonment by Princess Celestia as the magical purple pony sneezed again. "I hear that she wasn't always a fancy-prancy princess. Who else, do I look like Celestia to you?" Everypony shouted out my name at practically the same time; I love when they do that, it made me feel so popular and wanted. Thank you, thank you, allow me to take a bow for my excellence and notoriety.

"Good holiday to you all," I said to the Lavender Unicorn® with the most elegant and honorable tone, "and how is your plentiful plethora of pleasurable practical party pranks, miss powerful pretty prim and proper purple prodigy pony of Ponyville?" Just as they all stared at her disgusted, I leapt right out of the magical snot, announcing my presence! Her magic went splat against the ceiling, dripping down a purplish goo. It really was quite gross.

Making Applejack nearly choke on a pear, causing those cute Crusader tykes to tumble right into the punch bowl, slapping a rear end on a pony when they had somepony behind them, even getting miss Twilight Sparkle to do a magic sneeze! *Ahehem!* In any case, I did several little things to them without them realizing it; sometimes being a sneaky trickster has its merits, I should know. Well, how else could I have known about this, I'm the one that did it! As the ponies merrily enjoyed their little shindig, they didn't realize that the all-powerful, and might I say fantastically amazing, spirit of chaos was watching them!

The rainbow pony dashed off to another section of the party, laughing away as the pink one chased her around to try and get her back with a VENGEANCE. Honestly, Rainbow Dash often does morally questionable actions at times, I wonder if she even realizes it herself. That's pretty kinky, if I do say so myself. As the pink pony was diving in for a bite, it exploded right in her face, giving her a blueberry shower. She retaliated by offering a pie, making her give a hungry face and licking her lips. Ohoho, that's a classic. Rainbow Dash obliged, only to get a shocking response!

"Put 'er there!" Pinkie Pie said, holding out her leg for a sishoof or whatever the young'uns call them these days. That delightful jokester; other than Celestia and her sister, that little pony may be one of the few I have respect for. The party was full of pranks, just like that one time with that one rude little cat-bird! I forgot what the party was really about, but that's not important, what's important is what happened DURING the little event.

Pretty soon nearly every pony in town was excitedly walking through the goozack for the hum-dinger of a party. She ran around and set up tables with cakes and cookies and candy and chips and other party food that started with a C. However, this was no ordinary get together, and I knew for a fact that this was going to be one of the best. Doesn't she get bored of all of these simple soirees? That pink pony with the poofy mane was doing her usual routine of making parties.

In any case, here you are. I assure you that mine certainly is not, but I will add a bunch of unnecessary words of description so that it fits to the limit. It wasn't originally too long, but this website on the ponynet is just so restrictive to require at least a thousand words, although I can understand they don't want any junky stories. This tale happened just last week.

Well, whatever, I'll humor all of you this one time and tell a wonderful, most delightful story about a day where chaos is the season! That's where all the good parts are! There's one thing I never got about stories, though; what's the point of reading through all this building up and exposition and whatnot, I should just skip to the end and read backwards from there!

Ah, here's a story I'll read, let me just open it up for ye little ones.