HUMAN: The Crystalvision Series

by Razalon The Lizardman

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Iron Will, Twilight Sparkle, Big Macintosh, Slice of Life, Human, Anthro, Lyra
Length: 37456

The bond between creator and creation is strengthened in this sequel to HUMAN By: Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight Sparkle has earned quite a reputation in her young life. She's helped defeat Nightmare Moon and Discord, saved Ponyville from a rampaging Ursa Minor and a swarm of Pinkie Pie clones, authored the best-selling HUMAN trilogy of novels, and was recently crowned Equestria's fourth Alicorn princess. With so much fame attached to her name, it's no wonder she's offered the chance to adapt her HUMAN trilogy to Crystalvision. The question to ask is, how long will it take before the lavender princess cracks under the stress of balancing her royal duties with leading HUMAN's production? Probably Definitely sooner than she expects.

The first few chapters actually follow up the events of The Bold, The Brash, and The Beautiful, in turn setting up everything for the HUMAN sequel proper. Reading that story isn't necessary to enjoy or understand this one, however.

Published 2013-08-22 03:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-12 01:05:38 UTC

Fate's calling

Founded a little over one hundred years prior to Nightmare Moon's return and subsequent defeat, the town of Hiddenite was quite unique amongst all the various pony settlements throughout the land of Equestria. The town was nestled within the Crescentine Mountains located in Midwestern Equestria; named for the way they bent over forward in a crescent-like shape, towering over the settlement like a claw trying to grasp it. Hiddenite was founded by a small group of nobles who'd fought tooth and hoof for funding from Celestia to explore the area in search of untouched veins of rare metals and gems. Upon founding the town, the nobles and their servants immediately set out in search of riches beyond their wildest dreams.

It wasn't long, however, before meetings with Diamond Dogs began occurring. The mongrels already occupied the area and obviously saw the ponies as intruding on their turf. Surprise encounters with the canines were an all too common occurrence in the mines. Miners would be digging at a vein in the earthen wall when, right in front of or very close to their faces, a burrowing dog would pop out and nearly give the poor pony a heart attack. Despite the animosity between the two races, however, their relations never once took a violent turn. Currently, both sides share a shaky truce with each other, made possible only because the surrounding region contains enough gems to satisfy everyone in residence.

Needless to say, Hiddenite wasn't particularly large for a pony community and therefore had very little in the way of medical hospitality for the 100 or so ponies that lived there. As a result, the small mining settlement was ill-equipped to deal with the influx of comatose ponies which had begun arriving by airship from the DELOS resort off Equestria's west coast. Word had reached Hiddenite, as well as other settlements around mid-western Equestria that an incident had occurred at the prestigious resort, leaving a large chunk of its guests comatose as a result. The small mining community was requested use of its services in nursing victims of the incident back to health, a request they had no qualms with carrying out. As a result, Hiddenite General Hospital was swamped with patients not long after royal airships began arriving with victims from the resort.

One of these victims was none other than the Bearer of Honesty herself, Applejack. The cowpony had been vacationing at the DELOS resort along with Rarity and Rainbow Dash, who'd stayed by her side for the entire trip from DELOS to Hiddenite. Along with them came Hiddenite's very own Prickly Pear, who'd also been vacationing at the resort and met the three elemental bearers upon arriving. Considering himself to be a friend of Applejack's, Prickly had opted to remain by Applejack's side for the whole trip to his hometown, which the unconscious mare's friends readily agreed to.

The three ponies remained with Applejack at Hiddenite General Hospital as airships continued dropping off victims from the resort. Not all the airborne ships carried comatose ponies, however; one airship that was arriving from the east held a group of very much wakeful ponies. They had chartered the airship to take them out to Hiddenite after receiving a telegram from Rarity and Rainbow Dash explaining what happened on their vacation as well as what fate had befallen Applejack. Now, a little less than a day later the group had finally reached the small mining community ready to support the Bearer of Honesty in her time of need.

Said group was comprised of a trio of related earth ponies, a non-related hyperactive earth pony, a shy yet concerned pegasus, and a panicking alicorn.

Everypony present in the hospital's lobby was startled when the front doors were violently thrown open and a group of six ponies rushed in. Said group was led by the recently crowned Princess Twilight, whose face had a look of utter panic etched upon it. She galloped straight up to the front desk and spoke to the receptionist, who was currently preoccupied with some paperwork and didn't see Twilight as a result.

"Applejack, where is she!?"

The receptionist sighed. "Look, whoever you are, you'll have to wait in line like everypony else; our staff can only attend to so many visitors at once."

Before Twilight could reply, Pinkie Pie began rambling. "If your staff can attend to so many visitors at once then you should be able to attend to us as well. I mean, 'so many' is practically the same thing as 'a lot' and surely the six of us aren't making it 'too many', unless you're understaffed in which case you really need to hire more ponies. Our hospital back in Ponyville is-mphfmphfmphf."

Big Macintosh shut Pinkie up with a hoof, much to everypony's utter delight and allowing Twilight to respond to the receptionist in a dignified manner.

"Miss . . . Pen Celly, it's impolite not to look a pony in the eyes when responding to them."

"And?" Pen replied, still not looking up from her paperwork.

Twilight resisted the urge to facehoof as she replied back. "This is Princess Twilight Sparkle speaking to you."

Pen Celly froze and her eyes went as wide as dinner plates. Slowly, and shakily, she turned her gaze up at the now very angry lavender alicorn frowning at her; Celly instantly regretted how she treated the royalty before her just then. Gulping, she got out of the chair, walked up to the door behind her and pushed the doorlock in to open it.

"Doctor!?" she called, sticking her head through the door. "In what room is a Miss Applejack being kept?"

"Thanks fer gettin' us in so easy, princess," Granny Smith thanked Twilight.

The group walked down one of the hospital's ground floor hallways counting off the room numbers on either side. They were on the lookout for Room 17; Applejack's room.

"You're welcome, Granny Smith." Twilight then sighed. "But I feel terrible having ponies cater to my demands because they fear me."

"Don't worry about it, Twilight," Pinkie Pie said from beside her as she bounce-walked. "Nopony is afraid of you; they're afraid of the power, literal and figurative, you've been granted from becoming a princess."

Everypony's face deadpanned while Twilight looked solemnly at the ground in front of her.

"Ah don't think that's a' helpin' Twilight feel better, Pinkie," Apple Bloom observed.

Fluttershy brought everyone's focus back onto the matter at hoof. "I hope Applejack will be alright after all this." All the Apples present turned to look at the shy pegasus with smiles on their faces.

"Don't y'all worry young'n," Granny Smith said.

"Yeah," Apple Bloom continued. "Mah big sis' got more steel in 'er resolve than a thousand nails combined, even when unconscious."

"Eeyup," Big Mac concluded.

After another minute of walking the group found Room 17; Twilight used her magic to open the door and entered with the group. Inside, Rarity was combing her mane in front of a mirror while Rainbow Dash was reading a Daring Do novel in one of the chairs along the wall. Sleeping soundly in another chair was Prickly Pear while Applejack lay in the room's bed, an oxygen mask cupped over her mouth and all sorts of tubes and wires running everywhere. A heart rate monitor stood next to the bed, giving off a beep every couple of moments indicating its charge was in good condition. The pearly unicorn and cyan pegasus looked up to see who had entered and immediately dropped what they were doing upon seeing it was their friends.

"Twilight, darling!" Rarity practically shouted. She rushed up to the alicorn in question and proceeded to bear hug the life out of her. Twilight struggled to respond through the crushing embrace.

"It's . . . good to . . . see you too . . . Rarity."

Thankfully for Twilight, Rainbow flew over and, with a little effort, yanked the fashionista off the princess. Twilight immediately sucked in a few gulps of precious air before talking.

"Is AJ gonna be alright?"

Rarity and Rainbow Dash were about to answer when one of the hospital's doctors happened to walk in just then. He wore a typical doctor's outfit, stethoscope and all, and had a spiky brown mane/tail, brown eyes, and a peach-colored coat. The nametag on his uniform identified him as Dr. Green Oak. Having heard the princess' question. He bowed briefly in a show of respect before answering her question.

"Miss Applejack will indeed be alright, princess." The new arrivals smiled happily while he walked over to Applejack's bedside and did a quick routine check to make sure her vital signs were normal. "Like all the other victims, she's been placed into a magic-induced coma; a little time is all it should take before she rejoins us in the real world."

"About that . . ." Rarity, Twilight, and Granny Smith replied in unison.

Dr. Oak flinched in surprise before quickly glancing at a clock on the wall. "Make it quick, as I've other patients to attend to." He gestured to Twilight. "Royalty first; yes, your highness?"

Twilight instinctively deadpanned at being given special royalty treatment as she gestured to Applejack on the bed. "How could this even happen!?" Her mane began to curl out of place. "How could DELOS authorize use of a cybercorn that's programmed with the Mind Crush spell. I've read about it; invented by Preslice the Healing at the start of the modern era, the Mind Crush spell resulted from a botched attempt at creating a cure for insomnia. It was NOT meant to be used in tandem with an attraction at a themed resort." Twilight's mane was now fully disheveled. "Why, if I ever find the featherbrain who approved su-mmphf."

Twilight's declamation was cut short by Big Macintosh's hoof. Dr. Oak was cringing by this point, and Twilight quickly realized she'd let herself get carried away . . . again. When Big Mac released her muzzle, Twilight did the hoof gesture Cadence taught her for calming down before continuing.

"I'm sorry for directing my anger at you, doctor," she apologized, bowing her head with a sorrowful look.

Dr. Oak smiled. "You are forgiven, princess." Twilight perked up with a smile. "And while I can't answer your question, there is someone here who can."

"Who?"

"His name is Mozier, one of DELOS' CEOs." He pointed back down the hall leading to the lobby. "He's here visiting his fellow CEO Bite Back, who was also victimized; right now he's in the front lobby waiting to help consul Bite's family when they arrive."

Twilight snorted. "I'll be back once I've finished tearing into him."

She walked out of the room, leaving everypony to pity Mozier in addition to Applejack. Dr. Oak then turned to Rarity. "You next, Miss Rarity."

She waved a hoof dismissively. "I was merely going to announce my intention to write a letter to DELOS proclaiming my unbridled rage against them for what happened, but now I see that will no longer be necessary."

"Point taken," Oak replied, then turned to Granny Smith. "And you Miss Smith?"

The ancient mare smiled. "Same thin'." She turned and walked over to the bed where Applejack lay. "Hang 'n there, Applejack, yer family's here fer ya now."

Apple Bloom and Big Mac joined her at the bedside. As everypony else turned to leave so the Apples could have some privacy, Rainbow turned to look at Prickly Pear who'd somehow managed to remain asleep throughout the entire conversation. She tapped Rarity on the shoulder.

"Should we wake him up?" she asked, gesturing to the sleeping cowpony stallion.

Rarity shook her head. "Let him sleep, Rainbow; he stayed up all night by Applejack's bedside, after all."

Dash nodded in agreement and the two exited the room, closing the door on the way out.

"Well, I have other DELOS victims that need attending to," Oak said, turning down the hallway. "It was nice meeting the Elemental Bearers firsthoof; I just wish the circumstances were more pleasant."

"Same here," Rarity replied. The four mares waved the doctor goodbye and turned in the opposite direction.

"So, now what?" Fluttershy asked nopony in particular.

"I'll tell you what," Rainbow Dash announced, rising into the air for total attention. "We're gonna help Twilight give . . . whatever his name was, a piece of our minds."

Rarity shook her head. "Darling, I already said it was no longer necessary."

"Besides," Pinkie said, "we've got a ginormous welcome-back-from-your-coma party to plan for when everypony wakes up."

Rarity rolled her eyes while Rainbow Dash groaned before speaking again. "Why not? He totally has it coming, and I have a whole lotta 'it' to give."

"I'm sure you do, Dash," Rarity replied, "but it'd be a waste of energy."

"What do you mean?" Dash asked, crossing her forelegs.

"Because, dear, Twilight's now royalty in addition to being Princess Celestia's friend and protégé." A wicked smile spread across Rarity's face. "When DELOS' management learns just who they've ticked off, they'll no doubt wet themselves like scared little foals." Rarity then let out an evil cackle that unnerved even the cyan Pegasus and made Fluttershy tremble.

Upon seeing her friends' reactions to her maniacal display, Rarity blushed and re-adopted her ladylike persona. "Now then," she said, "why don't I show you girls around Hiddenite while we wait for Twilight to finish tearing Mozier a new flank? I'd absolutely love to introduce you to my dear, sweet cousin Sol Do while we're here."

Everypony nodded and the group proceeded to leave the hospital through a nearby side entrance.

Twilight fumed all the way to the hospital's lobby. Anypony who crossed paths with the irate alicorn along the way was quick to back against the nearest wall upon seeing the look of pure, unbridled fury etched upon her face. Twilight paid them no heed as she stormed down the hospital's hallways towards her target's given location. Only once did she herself step aside for a couple of doctors who were bringing another comatose pony to a designated room for recovery. Upon reaching the door to the lobby, Twilight did her breathing technique once more to suppress her rage so as to not come off as intimidating to everypony inside. She intended to save her rage for Mozier and him alone. Once calm, she used her magic to open the door and re-entered the lobby.

Not one chair in the lobby was empty, as Twilight was quick to notice. Everywhere she looked she saw ponies either crying, fidgeting anxiously, or, in a few strange cases, sleeping despite all the activity around them. Twilight briefly wondered if they were all family members of victims the hospital was caring for and, if so, whether all had chartered airships to bring them here to see them. She took a moment to clear her throat before walking towards the room's middle. Being unable to use the Royal Canterlot Voice to command attention, she needed to improvise. Luckily for her, the mere sight of royalty was enough to silence everypony as Twilight turned her head while speaking to them.

"May I speak in private with one Mozier, please?"

Immediately, an earth pony with a purple coat, yellow mane and tail, brown eyes, and a cutie mark depicting a bit with an arrow pointing upwards stood up from his seat and bowed to her.

"I am Mozier." He hooked a fore hoof under the strap of his saddlebag and lifted it up onto his back. "Lead the way, princess."

Twilight snorted in response. She used her magic to open the door once again and slipped through with Mozier right behind. All the while she led him someplace private, Twilight pondered how best to tear into him without overstepping her bounds. Despite her new title of princess, Celestia had made it clear she wasn't of equal authority to herself or Luna. As of right now, Twilight was an R.O.S. (Royalty On Standby), a term coined by both Blueblood and Cadence to indicate when they were awaiting duties from Celestia. Now that Cadence ruled over the Crystal Empire with Shining Armor, Twilight was the new female R.O.S. of Equestria. As an R.O.S. she had no official authority over anypony, but she was allowed to, among other things, verbally ostracize anypony whom she judged to have done wrong. And Princess Twilight intended to make full use of said privilege right then.

After a minute of walking, Twilight and Mozier found a spot underneath a stairwell that was out of the way. She turned to face him only to be shocked at the solemn look he was giving her.

"I take it you're upset over what happened to your friend?" he asked in a sincere tone.

Twilight stared slack-jawed for a moment before recomposing herself. "How'd you know about Applejack?" she asked.

"Gossip concerning somepony as important as one of the elemental bearers does tend to spread like wildfire, your highness." Mozier sighed. "I overheard some of the doctors talking about how one of the victims was a bearer and her friends who were vacationing with her had refused to leave her bedside until you and her family arrived. Needless to say, I expected you'd be angry with DELOS as a result of this tragedy."

Twilight's face went stern. "You have no idea how close I am to tearing you a new flank."

"I have a pretty good idea of how close," Mozier replied as he reached into his saddlebag, "but hear me out first, okay?"

Twilight snorted, but nodded in agreement.

"Thank you, your highness." Mozier dug through his saddlebag a bit before pulling out a book. Despite the title being obscured by his teeth, Twilight recognized the cover as that of her novel, HUMAN.

"Now's about the worst possible time to ask for an autograph," she remarked.

Mozier let go of the book and let it fall onto his hoof. "I said hear me out, princess. The opportunity I'm about to offer is far too good to turn down."

Twilight cocked an eyebrow. "And what would that opportunity be?"

Mozier smiled. "Princess Twilight Sparkle, how would you like to see the humans of your creation be brought to life for everypony in Equestria to see and enjoy?"

Author's Note

Point out any spelling/grammar errors any I'll be sure to fix them.

I hope this first chapter is satisfying enough for those who clambered for a sequel to the first HUMAN, even though it has yet to get into the meta-induced, self-referential ingeniousness you knew and loved from then. It should get into that in depth by the third chapter, at which point I all but guarantee you'll accept the Mane 6 as the overlord creators of humanity. It's true I tells you!!! 8O

Please rate, comment, subscribe, and all that good stuff

Tragedy's silver lining

Mozier's question threw Twilight completely off guard as she hadn't expected him to say something sounding so . . . ludicrous. She spent a few moments trying to wrap her head around the idea of the titular creatures from her HUMAN trilogy being brought to life and made to entertain everypony in Equestria. Failing at that, Twilight replied to Mozier's question with two of her own.

"First of all, that doesn't make any sense." She pointed at the book. "Humans are nothing more than a product of mine and my friends' collective imagination; unless you're being metaphorical, in which case what are you talking about? Secondly, how does this relate to DELOS' bout of gross negligence?"

Mozier turned the book over in his hoof and stared at the cover image with a look that betrayed no emotions, but Twilight could tell he currently had a lot on his mind. She couldn't even begin to guess what the purple stallion was thinking if she had actually cared; all she wanted was for him to answer her questions so she could start tearing into him. When Mozier finally returned his gaze to her, his face set into a sorrowful, yet determined expression.

"To answer your second question, princess," he started, "DELOS' management is fully aware of the negative publicity this tragedy will bring to the resort, made worse still when knowledge that the Bearer of Honesty herself was victimized becomes widespread. To that end, the decision has already been made to shut down the resort and lease the island it's built upon."

Twilight blinked. "Ummm . . . okay, it's nice to see you guys are owning up to your mistakes, but my question remains unanswered."

"Be patient, princess." Mozier missed the momentary scowl Twilight adorned in response as he continued. "Now that DELOS' entertainment division's primary source of revenue is lost, an equally profitable replacement is needed. Since you lived in the Royal Palace for much of your life, am I correct in assuming you've witnessed the use of Crystalvision?"

"Of course I have," Twilight replied, quickly losing her patience.

"Well, DELOS has licensed use of Crystalvision from Their Majesty's. We also have the resources to distribute C.V.'s around Equestria and keep them at an affordable price. All we need is something for everypony to watch. To answer your first question, we would be elated if that 'something' was an adaptation of your HUMAN trilogy. What do you say, Princess Twilight, are you interested?"

In an instant, all of Twilight's irritation and rage was replaced with shock and disbelief as Mozier's words struggled to register in her mind. It was bad enough he and the rest of DELOS had inadvertently caused the near-deaths of so many ponies, Applejack among them, due to gross-negligence. The fact that Mozier was now asking for her help despite that left the lavender princess questioning if he himself had a death wish. Once his words finished registering in her brain, Twilight, yet again, replied to Mozier's question with a few of her own.

"What in Celestia's name makes you think I'd help your company after what it did to not just my friend Applejack, but so many other innocent ponies? Even your own friend was victimized from what I've been told, so why should I help DELOS when its management doesn't even value its own safety?"

What followed was a heavy silence that seemed to freeze time itself as it waited to be broken by Mozier's reply while the purple stallion reeled from the damage Twilight's accusation dealt to his psyche. He wasn't lying in claiming awareness as to how angry Her Highness was with DELOS for what happened to her friend; he'd feel the exact same way in her horseshoes without a doubt. But for her to accuse DELOS, no, him of not valuing the safety of his friends was painful to listen to. Twilight was right about Bite Back being Mozier's friend; that's why he'd flown out to Hiddenite immediately upon hearing what had happened. He'd even cancelled his next big meeting in order to stay out here and support his friend through to recovery. Mozier was almost brought to tears by Twilight's accusation, but he stayed strong and proceeded to reply to Her Highness' latest questions.

"To answer your second question, princess, I speak for all of DELOS' management when I say we're genuinely sorry this tragedy occurred. But saying DELOS' management doesn't value anypony's safety is absurd; we always go the extra mile in ensuring our services don't endanger our customer's health/lives. Bite Back can attest to this, especially, since his reason for even being there personally was to ensure the technicians performed their jobs with efficiency and safety above all. While it may not have been enough, things don't always go as expected or wanted."

Mozier gazed upwards in thought as he continued. "You of all ponies should know that accidents don't just happen; they're a chain of critical events leading to disaster's breaking point. While I doubt the truth of what caused our cybercorn Sin to run amok and attack everypony it saw will ever be uncovered, the past can't be changed . . . even with time travel. DELOS has already done its part in putting this tragedy behind us by shutting down the resort, to which we now ask that everypony does the same and embrace the future alongside us." He brought his gaze back down to face her at eye level. "And to answer your first question, think of accepting the offer as showing forgiveness to DELOS for the wrongs it committed." He held out a hoof. "What say you, Princess Twilight Sparkle, does Her Highness accept?"

Twilight was so enthralled by Mozier's speech that she completely overlooked the fact that he apparently knew of her time-travelling escapade. She'd started the conversation expecting him cowering and pleading for mercy by this point, not standing up to her and being sincerely apologetic for what DELOS had let happen to her friend. In fact, she was so pleasantly surprised that she took a moment to redo her mental checklist so that her first order of business was changed from "Tear New Flank" to "Forgive and Forget". While she did this, Twilight held a hoof up to her forehead so it appeared she was contemplating a response, even though she'd already decided on her answer.

"You've got yourself a deal, Mozier." She reached up and shook his hoof. "And I forgive you and the rest of DELOS' management for all that's happened."

Mozier smiled genuinely. "Thank you, princess."

"However," Twilight said, "even though I'm royalty, I'm still just one pony. To truly redeem DELOS, you'll need to tell everypony in Equestria everything you just told me." She thought for a minute. "How soon can you distribute at least one C.V. to every pony settlement in Equestria?"

"By the end of the week," Mozier replied without hesitation. "Why?"

By the time Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy returned to the hospital from Sol Do's place dusk had fallen. The introduction between Rarity's friends and her cousin went along swimmingly, with Sol Do even inviting them to stay for the night upon learning why they were there. Needless to say, the four ponies gladly accepted her hospitality.

Upon entering through the hospital's front doors, the group caught sight of Twilight conversing with an earth pony stallion. He had a purple coat, yellow mane/tail, brown eyes, and a cutie mark depicting a bit with an upwards arrow printed on it. The two finished talking and the stallion rushed through the front doors just as Twilight's friends approached her.

"Twilight, darling," Rarity said.

The lavender alicorn turned to greet her friends. "Oh, hey girls," she said, "where've you been all day?"

"We've been hanging out with Rarity's totally awesome cousin, Sol Do," Rainbow Dash happily replied as she did a mid-air flip and flew straight up to Twilight. "So, how'd things go with Moz-what's-his-name?"

"Yes, Twilight, do tell," Rarity agreed.

"If you want to . . . that is," Fluttershy meekly said.

Before Twilight could explain what had transpired earlier, she realized Pinkie Pie had failed to give a retort of her own. In fact, it was only just now that Twilight noticed the pink party pony was missing from the group.

"Where's Pinkie Pie?" she asked.

The other three ponies turned to look where they all thought she was, only to see that Pinkie was indeed missing. Suddenly, a loud shout was heard coming from within the hospital, followed by sounds of struggling and, strangely, various farm animals in succession with each other, and finishing off with Pinkie Pie being launched through the door connecting the lobby with the rest of the hospital. She landed on the hard, tiled lobby floor and skid across it into the opposite wall just a few meters from her friends. They paid her no heed, however, as questioning Pinkie Pie was the ultimate crime against one's sanity.

"Anyway," Twilight said, returning her gaze to her friends, "that stallion who just left was Mozier."

"Really?" Rarity asked, turning to look out the front doors, only to see a quickly darkening sky as nighttime fast approached. "He seemed unusually chipper for somepony torn a new flank."

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash agreed. "C'mon Twi, what happened?"

"Gir-"

Twilight sighed. "Believe me, I had every intention of tearing him a new one at first, but I changed my mind in the end."

". . . why?" Rarity asked, stupefied.

"Excu-"

"Because he made it clear that DELOS is genuinely sorry for what happened. Though, there's still something the company needs to do before it's truly redeemed."

"And what's that?" Dash asked, growing impatient.

"Could you ple-"

Twilight smiled. "It's a surprise; one that'll be revealed this Saturday at Noon."

Rarity and Rainbow Dash groaned in response while Twilight giggled.

"Can I say something now?" Fluttershy finally got out.

The three other mares turned to the shy pegasus. "Of course, Fluttershy," Twilight answered. "What is it?"

Fluttershy pointed back to the spot where Pinkie Pie had previously been, the key word being "previously". Before anything more could be said, a sound-for-sound repeat of the earlier noises came, once again from behind the door to the lobby. It was followed up with Pinkie Pie being launched through the door, yet again, and skidding along the floor until she came to rest against the opposite wall in the exact same position as before.

It could no longer be ignored. Twilight facehoofed and, hesitantly, asked the dreaded question. "Pinkie Pie, what are you doing?"

Pinkie turned her gaze to the lavender alicorn and pouted. "I'm trying to check on Applejack but those meanie-pants nurses keep throwing me out! Why, I ask, WHYYYYYYY!!?"

Another facehoof. "Pinkie?"

"Yes, Twilight?"

"Nighttime visiting hours don't start for another fifteen minutes." She gestured to a clock on the wall to illustrate her point.

" . . . oopsie-doodle."

"Spike!" Twilight called. "I'm home!"

No response came from inside Golden Oaks as Twilight stepped through the front door and set her saddlebags on the floor next to it. She called out once more but still received no response. She wasn't worried, however, as it didn't take a magical prodigy to deduce the baby dragon was currently asleep upstairs. Ascending the stairs she found that Spike was, indeed, sleeping snug as a bug in his basket. What the lavender princess hadn't expected to find was piles of soda cans, popcorn bags, cupcake boxes, and various other miscellaneous trash littered throughout the bedroom. What really threw Twilight through a loop, however, was the fact that nothing in the room was out of place otherwise. All the books were shelved properly, her quills and ink bottles were neatly aligned on her desk, even her bed's sheets looked to be untouched.

At least he had the courtesy to neatly arrange all the trash into piles instead of haphazardly throw them around the room. Oh well . . .

"SPIKE!!!"

The baby dragon woke with a start, falling out of his basket and landing belly-down on the floor next to it. Groaning, Spike stood to his feet and yawned before letting his eyes adjust to the light.

"Oh, hi Twilight," he said groggily. "Is Applejack gonna be alright?"

"She will soon, but," Twilight gestured to all the piles of garbage surrounding them, "would you care to explain this?"

Spike looked around and grinned sheepishly. "I guess I kinda, sorta, maybe had a few snacks since you left?"

Twilight deadpanned. "Okay, now answer me these two questions. One, where did you acquire so much junk food from? And two, how did you manage to chow through it all in a timespan of less than two days?"

"I've been saving bits of food from Pinkie Pie's parties for the past few months; hoarding food is different from gems and stolen objects I suppose." Spike chuckled lightly while Twilight only briefly smiled before returning to her deadpan expression. "As for how I managed to eat it all, well, eating and sleeping was about all I had to pass the time."

Twilight cocked an eyebrow at that. "We would've let you care for our pets again to prevent boredom if you'd asked."

"Trust me," Spike said with conviction, "I learned my lesson last time. Besides, Discord's MUCH better at keeping those little cretins in line."

Twilight frowned. "What happened last time?"

"Nothing," Spike replied, eager to change the subject. "Anyway, tell me all about the trip. Did anything exciting happen?"

"Actually, yes, which I'll tell while you're picking up this trash." Spike groaned and proceeded downstairs to the kitchen where the garbage bags were. "And afterwards," she called down to him, "I'll need you to write a couple of letters for me."

Saturday had finally arrived. Applejack had woken up the previous day during visiting hours and, since they never left the cowpony's side during said time, proceeded to get bear hugged by her family while her brain scrambled trying to piece together what was happening. As could be expected, the last thing she remembered seeing was Rarity screaming, "BEHIND YOU!!!". Once the Apples let her go they explained everything; the berserk cybercorn, the trip to Hiddenite, the telegram informing them of what happened, their own trip to the mining community, etc. By the time they'd finished, Applejack was fuming over the fact that she'd been taken out by a "scrap pile on legs", as she put it, but was happy to be awake and well all the same.

Currently, the Apple family was waiting in Hiddenite Town Hall with every other resort victim the hospital had admitted, now awake as well, along with their own families. Princess Celestia had sent decrees to every pony settlement in Equestria saying DELOS' management had an announcement to make in regards to the tragedy. Attached to each copy was what she called a "Crystalvision", or "C.V." for short, which would allow their message to be broadcast in real time. Hiddenite had received theirs earlier and as the only unicorn in town used to (and willing to do) labor, Rarity's cousin Sol Do spent the better half of the morning reading the instructions for and setting the odd device up in town hall.

The C.V.'s size was about equal to four horseshoe boxes stacked together in a cube-like formation. It was encased in an outer shell of black obsidian enchanted to be heatproof, which covered all except for the crystal screen on the front. The expression "crystal clear" did not apply here as the crystal used to make the viewing component was too thick to see through. If one were to remove the outer casing they would find out that, inside the device, its internal component structure was well refined and each individual component was easy to single out.

For a broadcast, the desired action would be recorded via a "crystal monocle" enchanted to tune with a unicorn's Visual System. Using the unicorn's carbuncle in conjunction with the recorder, the action could be transmitted to any/all desired carbuncles. Displaying it to non-unicorns through C.V.s, however, was a bit trickier if full color visuals were desired. Inside each C.V. was a carbuncle that worked just like a unicorn's except it was ten times larger. While a functioning C.V. carbuncle could correctly interpret and display received visuals easily enough, it needed a colored light source to show them in full color; otherwise, the visuals would all be color-saturated shades of gray. For said colored light source, a crystal of each primary color, secondary color, and white was tuned to the carbuncle. The carbuncle would receive and interpret the visuals, then cycle through each crystal while applying their colors to corresponding parts of each image; the color's shade and tone was also determined here. Once completed, the now colored visuals were projected through the C.V.'s crystal screen, ready to be viewed.

And right now, everypony in Equestria was a potential viewer. While most weren't affected by the tragedy, the news of what happened had shocked them nonetheless. Therefore, they were very interested in what DELOS' management had to say regarding the matter. They didn't have to wait long, as the broadcast started immediately when the time struck noon. Everypony watching the C.V.'s throughout Equestria stared in awe as the devices came to life; their displays showing DELOS' CEO's gathered together in a room within the Canterlot Royal Palace. Shock turned to disgust for ponies affected by the tragedy, however, as they remembered that the ponies currently on-screen were indirectly responsible for what happened. Then DELOS' CEO's started speaking their message, which sailed right past those ponies angry with them, at first anyway. Gradually, however, they began listening to the CEO's words of apology and regret for what happened. Their message was an elaboration of every point made during the conversation between Mozier and Twilight a few days prior. Upon its conclusion, no longer was anypony enraged at DELOS' management. Just as Twilight predicted, everypony watching was quick to forgive them after hearing their genuine sorrow for everypony affected by the tragedy whether directly or indirectly.

It was in Canterlot Castle's ballroom where the message was recorded and broadcasted. Only Princesses Celestia and Twilight were in attendance with DELOS' CEO's and the royal guard who was recording. While Twilight paid full attention to the broadcast, Celestia kept rereading the letter Twilight had sent to her the other day. It was quite possibly her new personal favorite of Twilight's friendship reports.

Dear Princess Celestia,

It's been quite a while since I sent you a friendship report, hasn't it? I can tell just from looking at him that Spike's feeling a little awkward right now as he writes down what I say, and I have to admit the feeling is mutual. Anyway, I came into contact with one of DELOS' CEO's at Hiddenite where Applejack is currently comatose in their hospital. The doctors say she, as well as everypony else, will be up and alright very soon. I'm sure you can imagine how ticked off at Mozier (the CEO I met) I was for what his company had let happen to my friend. I'm also sure you can guess that I was ready to verbally tear into him until he was on his knees pleading for mercy. But it never came to that, to which I learned a very important lesson indeed.

Holding a grudge against somepony for something they never intended to happen is unfair and amounts to scapegoating. Just because somepony inadvertently causes a major tragedy doesn't mean they're inherently negligent. While they may have gotten slightly careless for said tragedy to occur, there's a difference between being slightly and wholly negligent, and it takes a true understanding of character to determine which is the case. Needless to say, a pony that simply made a mistake always deserves forgiveness if they're genuinely remorseful, no matter how severe the consequences were. Such was the case with Mozier when I conversed with him, and as such I'm confident that the rest of Equestria will follow the same path as me if given a chance to hear what he and his fellows have to say.

We can make that happen, princess; all we need from you is a royal decree that everypony must be in their respective town halls to hear DELOS' announcement at noon this Saturday. DELOS' management will take care of distributing the Crystalvisions and just need those decree copies attached to each one so nopony is confused as to what's going on. See you soon!

Your ever faithful protégé,

Twilight Sparkle

P.S.- It might interest you to know that Mozier offered to adapt my HUMAN trilogy to Crystalvision as well. I've already sent a letter to the books' publisher informing him of this; I think he'll readily agree to the offer.

Stay tuned!

Author's Note

As always, please comment, rate, subscribe, and all that good stuff. Be sure to point out any spelling/grammar errors and/or plot holes you happen to find; I can't improve if you all aren't openly honest with me.

Next time: Twilight begins assembling the cast and crew for HUMAN's C.V. adaptation, but finds some of her desired participants hesitant to accept. Also, she begins studying some new spells to give life to her humans, metaphorically.

Bring Me To Life

Spike hummed happily to himself as he approached Golden Oaks. Twilight asked earlier that morning if he'd leave for a while so she could work in private. Spike, of course, was concerned that she'd isolate herself from everypony again, but Twilight assured him she only needed until lunchtime to finish her work. She also asked if Spike could pick up an order of hers from Carousel Boutique on his way back. Excited to see the pearly white unicorn of his infatuation, Spike obliged and left the alicorn to her work. Now he was back with Twilight's order, which was contained in a medium-sized cardboard box sealed tight with duct tape. While curious about what exactly the box contained, Spike knew Twilight despised him snooping through her stuff. Additionally, Spike couldn't remove the duct tape without ripping it to shreds as his claws were too sharp.

Shifting the box into one hand, Spike reached the other up to push in the doorlock. Once the door opened, he resumed carrying the box with both hands and entered.

"That you Spike!?" Twilight called from the kitchen.

"Yes," he replied. "And I got that order from Rarity."

"Excellent!" Twilight stuck her head through the kitchen doorway. She wasted no time in levitating the box out of his hands and over to her.

"So, what's inside?" Spike asked, his curiosity still piqued.

"You'll see in a minute." Twilight pointed toward the second floor staircase. "For now, could you wait upstairs while I finish making lunch? I made your favorite gem stew recipe."

With a nod, Spike hurried upstairs and jumped into his basket. While waiting, he salivated in anticipation of the gem stew he'd soon receive, as well as the reveal of whatever Twilight's order from Rarity was. True to her word, Twilight ascended the staircase about a minute later, empty hooved and with nothing suspended in her magic grip..

"Ummm, where's the gem stew?" Spike asked, confused.

Twilight simply smiled and charged her horn with a basic telekinesis spell. Spike started as the sound of footsteps immediately began climbing the stairs.

"Is somepony else here?" His tone betrayed a hint of nervousness, one that Twilight was more than happy to alleviate with her big reveal.

"Behold, Spike," she said while gesturing to the staircase as the steps now resounded closer, "the grand result of hours upon hours of magical research and experimentation; current role being our waiter, soon to be Equestria's first Crystalvision celebrity . . . "

Spike had stopped listening to her by this point, having been distracted by the figure now standing in the doorway, surrounded by the lavender aura of Twilight's magic. The figure was about one and a half meters tall and stood on two limbs, but what those limbs looked like wasn't discernible as it wore what Spike assumed were the clothes Twilight ordered from Rarity. Said clothes consisted of: a pair of blue pants, black & gray shoes with white socks, a brown shirt over which was a black jacket, and eyeglasses. The figure itself had hairless peach-colored skin, blue eyes, a pair of five digit hands, and a short mane of brown hair. In the figure's hands was both Spike's and Twilight's lunch.

". . . Spike?"

Spike broke out of his stupor and turned to Twilight. "Is that . . .?"

"Yes, it's a human puppet." Twilight manipulated the figure to walk a few steps toward Spike who, instinctually, stepped back the same distance. "Specifically, Warren Zaccaro from the last two HUMAN books. I constructed him out of synthetic flesh and blood using a spell of my own design that I began working on upon my return from overseeing DELOS' broadcast in Canterlot." Spike managed to stay put as Twilight had Warren close the distance between them, then lower the gem stew so he could reach it. "Your lunch, master Spike," Twilight playfully said in a pseudo-masculine voice.

Spike snorted out a laugh in response before taking the bowl from Warren. Twilight had Warren turn around and approach her next. "Your daisy sandwich, princess," Spike said, his masculine voice naturally better than Twilight's.

"Why thank you, Mr. Zaccaro." Already using her telekinesis to move Warren, Twilight used her teeth to grab the plate from his grip but found herself unable to pull it away. With a grunt she pulled a little harder, but the plate still refused to leave his grasp. Annoyed now, Twilight used her telekinesis to unclasp Warren's fingers from the plate only to accidently let go of the end in her mouth. The plate fell to the floor and shattered, the daisy sandwich coming apart along the way and spilling all over the floor. Spike had to use all his willpower to keep from bursting out laughing while his mouth was full of chewed up gems.

Twilight sighed. "Okay, that was my own fault." She used her telekinesis to levitate the mess into a nearby wastebasket. No longer under her control, the Warren puppet collapsed to the ground in a tangled heap.

Spike swallowed his gems and spoke. "So, that thing's gonna be used for the HUMAN Crystalvision adaptation?"

"Uh-huh." Twilight returned her gaze to him. "I have until the end of the month to put together a cast and crew; additionally, to create human 'flesh puppets' for every key character from the novels."

"So . . . checklist?"

Twilight nodded eagerly and levitated over a quill and parchment. Spike grabbed both and waited for instructions.

"First order of business . . ." Twilight began.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Spike asked.

The two of them were on their way to the house of Equestria's #1 humare, Lyra Heartstrings, and her best friend/roommate Sweetie Drops. Twilight carried a saddlebag containing a stack of self-written contracts and her checklist of cast and crew needed for the show. Once finished with the checklist, she'd insisted they immediately begin recruiting ponies for each position. Remembering how helpful Lyra was to her in writing the HUMAN trilogy's final installment, Twilight was confident she'd be perfect as part of the show's writing staff.

"Spike," Twilight replied, "what in Celestia's name would make you think it isn't?"

"Maybe the fact that Lyra's beyond obsessed with HUMAN?"

Twilight stared dubiously back at him as she walked. "That's why we're going to her first; she's guaranteed to accept the offer."

"What about our friends?" Spike frowned. "After all, they helped you with the first book, and are responsible for about 85% of the second book's content. Shouldn't they be the first ponies that we try recruiting?"

Twilight spotted Lyra's house behind a couple of others and turned down an alleyway shortcut. She turned back to Spike with a frown. "Spike, I have no doubt they'd be of great help, really. But they have their own lives to live, and are far too busy with their own jobs to have time for helping me with this. Lyra, on the other hoof, is currently unemployed and therefore more ideal for recruiting."

"True," Spike replied glumly.

"Don't worry, Spike," Twilight said, her frown lifting into a smile, "this will work out; I guarantee it."

Once they reached Lyra and Sweetie's house, Twilight knocked on the front door and waited. When no response came at first Twilight knocked again; this time a faint shouting could be heard from inside saying, "Coming!".

The next sound that came from inside puzzled Twilight. It was a series of steps bounding toward the door, but the hard sound of hooves clopping on wood couldn't be heard. Instead, every step taken resulted in a dull thud. Additionally, the pattern of falls was inconsistent with a pony's; in fact, it sounded more like a . . .

The doorlock pushed in and the door opened; Twilight froze at what she saw. Standing in the doorway, a beaming smile upon its face, was a bipedal half pony/human with the same mint green/silver coloration and golden eyes as Lyra. It had the ears and tail of a pony, but the rest of its body was of a human; five digit hands and feet, tall vertical figure, zero coat hair, etc.

Spike leaned into Twilight's (now twitching) ear and whispered. "What'd I tell you? She's obsessed."

"So, Lyra . . . you are Lyra, correct?"

Said mare-turned-anthro sighed. "For the fifth time, yes, I am indeed she who is known as Miss Lyra Heartstrings."

The three now sat in Lyra and Sweetie's living room. The mint green anthro had offered to make some tea to which Twilight eagerly accepted as it meant she'd get a reprieve from having to see Lyra's new, incredibly disturbing, form for a short while. That reprieve hadn't lasted nearly as long as Twilight wished it could, and she now poured all her effort into keeping from visibly cringing at the sight of Lyra's new appearance. She would've asked for Lyra to change back, but such a request would undoubtedly come off as disrespectful. Even a princess such as herself needed to abide by social curtseys.

"Sorry," Twilight said while sheepishly rubbing the back of her head. "Ummm . . . I . . . see you got a . . . . . . . . . new look?"

Lyra smiled and lifted one leg up and over the other so they crossed casually. Seeing such an action easily performed by a sitting pony elicited shivers from Twilight and Spike, who both felt such a thing was . . . wrong.

"I've been working on a transformation spell ever since I finished reading your HUMAN trilogy, princess." Lyra threw her new hands over the back of the couch she sat on; another action nopony could do while sitting. Twilight and Spike felt more shivers run down their spines in response. "Do you like it?"

Twilight stared blankly for a moment before replying. "Ummm . . . well, it's certainly something. But . . ."

"It's just SICK!!!" Spike suddenly blurted.

"SPIKE!!!" Twilight smacked the back of the dragon's head.

Lyra raised a confused brow. "How is it sick?"

While Spike rubbed the back of his head to relieve the pain, Twilight returned her gaze to Lyra and sighed. "Lyra, I'm flattered at how passionate you are with HUMAN, I really am, but trying to become a human yourself is borderline insanity. What does Sweetie Drops think of this, anyway?"

Lyra smiled and shook her head. "You don't think I want to stay like this forever, do you princess? I love the humans you created, but I won't ever forget that I'm a pony through and through. Truth be told, I only created the transformation spell as a new way to cosplay."

"Cosplay?" Twilight and Spike simultaneously echoed.

"Exactly." Lyra clasped her hands together. "After all, isn't a bodily transformation more convincing than wearing a stitched costume?"

Twilight thought about it for a moment. "I guess that makes sense."

"As for Sweetie," Lyra continued, "I'll admit it creeps her out, but she knows I'm not insane. If it's too disturbing for you, however, I'll undo the spell."

Twilight smiled. "Yes, we'd appreciate that very much."

"Amen," Spike added.

Lyra closed her eyes and alighted her horn. Immediately, the human-esque changes to her body began disappearing. Her hands' fingers fused together and both added appendages retracted into their respective stump; both of her feet went the same way. Each limb's joints straightened out and the laden bones relocated downwards where they reformed their respective hooves. Next were Lyra's breasts which, being a mare, she gave herself to semi-accurately portray herself as a female human; the absence of nipples was what kept them from being totally accurate. They simply shrunk back into her chest and that was it. The next thing to go was Lyra's human face; her new nose, mouth, and chin stacked up together and fused, then proceeded to stretch out into her natural mare's muzzle. Finally, a full coat of mint green hair re-sprouted all over her body, completing the change back to pony. Once finished, Lyra returned her gaze to Twilight and Spike.

"Happy now?" she asked.

They both nodded.

"Good." Lyra leaned back again. "So, princess, you said you wanted to talk about something?"

Twilight cleared her throat. "Yes, Lyra, and it concerns you and HUMAN."

"Really?" Lyra leaned forward, a beaming smile plastered on her face. "Is it good news?"

"It should be." Twilight motioned to Spike who pulled a quill and contract from her saddlebag. "Just read this contract and you'll understand everything; sign at the bottom if you accept." She levitated both over to Lyra, who eagerly accepted them and began reading the parchment. One thing Twilight made sure to do was carefully outline everything the contract stated and keep it ASAP (as short as possible) so as to not turn away readers with short attention spans. She'd learned the hard way to always be careful when dealing with legal documents and such; however, her previous naivety is what resulted in the final two HUMAN books' creation. That was all water under the bridge now, though, and Twilight wasn't about to trick Lyra into working for HUMAN's Crystalvision adaptation if she didn't truly want to. Judging from the growing smile that stretched across Lyra's face while she read the contract, however, Twilight concluded she was correct in assuming Lyra was guaranteed to accept.

When she finished reading, Lyra hurriedly scribbled her signature on the designated line at the bottom of the parchment. She then levitated the quill and contract back over to Twilight and subsequently fainted on the couch

". . . Well, that was interesting," Spike muttered.

"Kinda like Rarity," Twilight added, then levitated Spike up onto her back and hoofed him the quill and contract. "Now then, what position did we list after the writing staff?"

Spike stashed the contract in the saddlebag and pulled out the checklist as Twilight saw herself outside. Spike took a moment to check off one of the boxes for Writer before reading off the following position.

"Voice actors."

Twilight thought about what the best options for voice actors among Ponyville's citizens were. Instinctually, she focused on determining a suitable VA for her OC, Warren Zaccaro, first. In HUMANS, she described Warren's voice as "hard, thick and deep, resulted from general underuse of the vocal cords in youth." But a VA needs more than to sound like their character, they also need to understand the inner machinations of the character's mind and what motivates them with each action they take. To that end, Twilight knew that not just anypony would suffice as Warren's VA; she'd need somepony with the same complex mindset and mannerisms. Somepony who could relate to him in that regard. Somepony like . . .

"Big Macintosh?" Spike quizzically stated.

The two were now at Sweet Apple Acres' front gate. Looking out across the vast fields of apple trees, Twilight spotted Applejack and Big Macintosh bucking away at the trees like they always did, somehow always managing to catch every last fallen apple into the wooden barrels placed at the base of each trees' trunk. Twilight was waiting for AJ to leave Big Mac alone so she could freely talk to him without her friend breathing down his back.

"Yes, Spike," Twilight replied. "He's perfect to voice Warren."

Spike crossed his arms. "Whatever happened to our friends being too busy with their own jobs?"

Twilight sighed and turned back to him. "Voice acting is different from writing as it only takes a day max to complete. Besides, it's not like anypony we recruit isn't getting paid for this. With both of those conditions, Big Mac will surely agree to this."

Spike sighed himself. "And what about AJ; will you offer her a position as voice actor too?"

Twilight thought about it for a minute before turning back to the orchards. "Sure, but not right now; not until I determine who she could voice."

Eventually, Applejack and Big Macintosh split up to tackle different rows of trees. Twilight took this opportunity and proceeded to fly over the fence and into Sweet Apple Acres proper. From there, she flew through the lines of trees until she reached Big Macintosh right as he was about to buck another tree.

"Big Macintosh?"

The red farmstallion ceased his buck and turned to look at the new arrival. He smiled. "Hi Twilight, hi Spike, what brings y'all here?"

Twilight closed the distance between them and smiled herself. "I know you're very busy right now, but can we talk for a while about something?"

Big Mac frowned slightly before his smile went full again. "Eeyup."

"Thank you." Twilight sat on her haunches to which Big Mac followed. "Now, your family has forgiven DELOS' management for the incident, right?"

"Eeyup." Big Mac tapped a hoof to his chin. "Though, AJ's still a little peeved 'bout gettin' knocked out by a robot."

"But she's not enraged at DELOS for unintentionally causing that, right?"

"Nnope . . . why'd ya ask?"

Twilight used her magic to open the saddlebag and levitate another, worded slightly different, contract out and over to Big Mac. "This should explain everything."

Quirking an eyebrow, Big Mac took the parchment in his hoof and started reading. His eyes scanned back and forth over the text, careful not to miss any important details, all while Twilight sweated in anticipation of his answer. When he finally looked back up to her, Big Mac frowned.

"So, y'all want me ta voice act?" he asked.

Twilight's sweating doubled in intensity, to which Spike voluntarily used his tail as a makeshift sponge to wipe her forehead dry. "Yes," she replied.

Big Mac glanced down at the contract again and sighed. "Ah'm always busy workin' on the farm, so Ah don't know . . . "

Twilight batted away Spike's tail, her forehead now dry. "Recording lines would only take a day max; surely you can spare a day every few weeks for this, can't you?"

Big Mac rubbed his chin with a hoof in pondering Twilight's question. "Ah s'pose." He stared Twilight in the eyes. "Y'all really want me ta do this, don't 'cha princess?"

"You're the best stallion for the lead role," Twilight affirmed.

Big Mac smiled. "Ah'm flattered."

Twilight smiled. "So you'll do it?" She levitated a quill out of the saddlebag.

"If'n it's that important ta ya, princess, Ah'll do it."

Twilight squeed with delight and levitated the quill over to him. Big Mac grabbed it in his mouth and wrote his name on the bottom line while Twilight kept the parchment steady with her magic. Once completed, she brought the contract back over to her and stuffed it in the saddlebag.

"Thanks so much, Big Macintosh," she said. "I definitely owe you a favor."

Before she and Spike could turn around to leave, Big Mac spoke up. "Y'all can repay me right now by helpin' wit' these 'ere trees."

Twilight cringed while Spike threw his hands over his mouth to contain his laughter. As she surveyed the vast rows of apple trees with apprehension in her gut, Twilight dreaded the likely answer to her next question.

"Can I use my magic?"

"Nnope."

Author's Note

As always, please point out any errors so I can fix them.

Panic Performance Art

"Okay, Spike," Twilight said, pointing a casted hoof toward her desk. "Let's triple check the checklist."

It was the day before the deadline DELOS gave Twilight to assemble a cast & crew for HUMAN's Crystalvision adaptation. After scouring Ponyville for potential recruits to both, they felt confident enough horsepower was at their disposal for production to start in earnest the following day. Of course, that was assuming nothing had been overlooked on the checklist.

"Sure thing," Spike replied, snatching the checklist off the desk.

"Alright, item #1; script writers."

Spike scanned the top of the parchment. "There's seven total: Lyra Heartstrings, Written Script, Sweetie Drops, Silver Tongue, Zecora, and ourselves."

"That should be enough," Twilight mused. "Item #2; technical support and cinematography."

"We've got enough of that," Spike said without even looking at the checklist. "No doubt."

"Indeed we do," Twilight replied. When DELOS shut down its resort, every technician who hadn't quit in response worried they'd soon be laid off. But management didn't lay them off, knowing their technical skills would undoubtedly prove useful in producing Crystalvision, and even gave them all compensatory bonuses for all the time they were comatose. As a result, Twilight now had a technical crew of over 30 earth, unicorn, and pegasus ponies under her command. All they needed was a crash course in flesh puppetry and they'd be good to go.

"Item #3; voice actors."

"We have a total of six primary and four secondary VAs." Spike looked at the names. "Big Mac, Pinkie Pie, Flitter, Caramel, Golden Harvest, and Thunderlane are the primarys while Noteworthy, Ditzy Do, Fluttershy, and Pokey Pierce are the secondarys."

"That should be enough," Twilight mused once again. "Item #4; aesthetics."

"We've got Rarity for costumes and *sigh* Discord for sets & props." Spike looked up to her. "Are you absolutely sure we need him for this?"

Twilight furrowed her brow. "I don't like it either, Spike, but giving him this job makes the most sense."

"That reeks of irony," Spike commented.

"I know," Twilight replied. "Item #5; music."

"Vinyl and Octavia," Spike said without hesitation.

"Then it looks like we're all set to begin production . . . I hope."

Spike looked curiously up at Twilight. "What do you mean?" he asked her.

"Well," Twilight lightly tapped her forehead with a non-casted hoof, "I can't help but feel we've forgotten something important . . . wait a minute." Twilight shifted her gaze to the checklist, thereby showing Spike the look of utter panic in her expression. "Who'd we get to direct everypony?"

Spike raised a quizzical brow. "Isn't that your role?"

"I'm the showrunner," Twilight clarified. "I direct the writers, not the technicians; who'd we get to do that?"

Spike looked all over the list. "Ummm . . . no one?"

Twilight froze. The weight of what Spike just said came crashing down unto her like an anvil, to which she went into full blown panic mode. They had to start production on HUMAN tomorrow and the absence of a director would only cause confusion and delay. And if there was one thing Twilight feared more than fear itself, it was tardiness.

"NO ONE!!!?" Her mane began curling out of place. "Oh, this is bad. I need a full cast and crew by tomorrow if production's to run on schedule."

"Can't you fill both roles?" Spike asked while he cautiously approached his pseudo-mother. "After all, isn't it a princess' job to 'direct' their subjects anyway?"

Twilight attempted her breathing exercise to calm down, over and over, but failed to suppress her growing panic while her mane kept uncurling. Suddenly, her body began fidgeting uncontrollably. It started out small, but Spike watched the convulsions grow in intensity until, eventually, Twilight was flopping around on the floor of Golden Oaks like a fish out of water. Spike forgot his question as he stared in horror, and slight amusement, at the new panic symptom on display in front of him. His mind raced with thoughts of what to do.

Twilight needs help! But this is too amusing to end right now. She could end up hurting herself, or more ponies again. But can this really escalate into a Smarty Pants-esque incident? She might use a spell to force somepony to be her director. Does she even know a 'mind control' spell? Does such a spell even exist? Well, there's changelings, but Twilight doesn't know their magic. Hmm, she's still going at it; maybe I should just let her tire out. Yeah, that's probably the best course of action; I'll intervene if she snaps completely. Now, where's that popcorn at?

The time was 6:00 p.m. All across Ponyville, ponies began returning to their homes from work. The streets slowly emptied while the sun neared the end of its descent. By the time Celestia was ready to set it below the horizon to make way for Luna's moon, the streets of Ponyville were all but deserted. Only a small number of ponies remained outside, either chatting or sweeping their doorsteps. One group, however, was out in the street itself, making its way toward Golden Oaks. Said group was comprised of everypony who'd agreed to voice act for HUMAN. They were visiting Twilight to reaffirm their HUMAN work schedules and make absolutely sure they didn't overlap with their regular work schedules.

"Strange," Thunderlane mused to himself as the group neared the library.

"What's strange?" Pinkie Pie asked, falling back to trot alongside him.

"Twilight Sparkle's become a princess, yet the only thing she's in charge of right now is a show series for a pastime used only by their majesties and DELOS." He sighed. "I certainly hope Princess Celestia didn't crown her student for shallow reasons."

Pinkie giggled. "Oh, didn't you know? She was crowned princess because Hasbro wanted adverts of their Alicorn Princess Twilight toy."

The group stopped in its tracks and stared dubiously at her. "Pardon?" Pokey Pierce said.

Pinkie giggled again, then continued on trotting. "Oh, that's just my headcanon talking," she replied.

Everypony else continued to stare at her as she trotted on ahead of them. Eventually, they all broke out of their stupor and continued onwards as well.

Golden Harvest turned to Fluttershy. "Is it hard being her friend?" she asked the butterscotch Pegasus.

Fluttershy smiled. "Sometimes, but things never get out of hoof."

"Good to kn-"

"WOOOAAAH!!!"

Everypony turned their gaze back to Pinkie in front of them. The pink mare's body was twitching all over extremely violently. She'd stopped in her tracks and sprawled herself belly first onto the ground to stifle the twitching's intensity a little bit.

"What's your Pinkie Sense telling you?" Ditzy asked.

Pinkie got to her hooves and fought with all her strength to keep herself rooted in place. "It's a doozy," she replied. Suddenly, the twitching stopped leaving Pinkie slightly disoriented, but still able to speak clearly. "And it's happening at . . . GOLDEN OAKS!!!"

Not another word was said. Everypony quickly closed the distance between them and Twilight's home. They didn't bother knocking; Big Mac lightly tapped a hoof against the door causing it to swing open. They all rushed inside to find quite a bizarre sight. In front of them was Princess Twilight convulsing on the floor while Spike was busy munching on some popcorn off to the side.

He turned to the new arrivals. "Oh hi," he said. "Whatever you're here for, think it can wait?"

Flitter pointed toward Twilight. "What's wrong with her highness?"

Spike sighed. "It's like this," he said. "We were triple checking our checklist of HUMAN cast and crew when Twilight realized she forgot to recruit somepony to be the director. Since the deadline is tomorrow, well . . . get it?"

After a moment of comprehension everypony nodded in understanding. They all turned back toward Twilight with worried expressions, save for Pinkie whose face adopted a look of realization upon being told what triggered her Pinkie Sense. By now, Twilight's convulsions had lessened in intensity, allowing Spike to safely approach her. What he did next would've horrified everypony present under normal circumstances, but with Twilight's panic putting her health in jeopardy no objections were made when Spike grabbed Twilight by the neck and proceeded to slap her right upside the head.

"AHHH!!!" she screamed, coming back to her senses.

"Are you okay now, Twilight?" Spike asked, genuinely concerned for her.

Twilight rubbed her face with a casted hoof and shook her head a few times to get the stars out of her eyes. "Yeah, I am now." She stood up and smiled at him. "Thanks for snapping me out of it before I went crazy again."

Spike returned the smile. "Happy to help."

Twilight then turned toward the new arrivals. "Sorry you had to see me like that," she said ashamedly. "Promise you won't tell anyone?"

Instinctually, everypony turned to Pinkie Pie who proceeded to act out a Pinkie Promise for the lavender alicorn, to which they all repeated. When finished, Twilight breathed a much needed sigh of relief and looked back to them.

"So, what brings you all here?" she asked.

"We came by to discuss the timetables for our HUMAN schedules and how they related to our normal work ones," Ditzy explained while her crossed eyes tried, and failed, to focus on Twilight.

"But," Caramel spoke up, "Spike said something about not having a director?"

"Indeed," Twilight replied with her mouth set in a grim line, "and without one it'll be nigh impossible to begin production on the show as scheduled, which won't sit over well with DELOS, or me as you just saw."

"Why can't you be the director?" Pinkie asked, her head tilted. "After all, you've done such a wonderful job of leading Winter Wrap Up ever since you moved to Ponyville."

Twilight sighed. "Truth be told, I could fill the role myself. Indeed, I need to train DELOS' technicians in how to use those human flesh puppets." She shuffled her hooves a bit and looked downcast. "But the last thing I want is to have to direct everypony on set by myself. It's not like Winter Wrap Up where there's a small hoofful of groups, each with a lead pony for guidance, and all I have to do is make sure everything stays organized. As director I'd have to personally oversee the activities of over thirty ponies, something I can't manage by my lonesome; I need help."

"What kind of help?" Golden Harvest asked.

"It'd need to be somepony with good charisma, strong vocal cords and, preferably, can use body language to provide reference for the puppeteers." Twilight tapped a hoof to her chin as she pondered. "Now, who possesses those attributes and is likely to accept the position?" Twilight rubbed her temples while racking her brain for names.

"Twilight?"

Everyone turned to Fluttershy, who now stood at the front of the group with a hard smile on her face.

"Yes, Fluttershy?" Twilight asked.

"I know someone just like that."

"WHAT!!!?" Twilight shouted as she sped right up to Fluttershy's face in excitement, causing the butterscotch Pegasus to squeal in fright and backpedal a few steps. "Who is it? Where do they live? Are they available on such short notice? TELL ME!!!"

Fluttershy could only cower in response to the over influx of attention she was receiving. She curled herself up in a fetal position and whimpered. Twilight immediately recomposed herself and stepped away from Fluttershy while everyone else facehooved. A slight blush to her cheeks, Twilight cleared her throat and spoke more calmly.

"Sorry, Fluttershy," she apologized. "Would you be so kind as to tell me who this pony is?"

Fluttershy wearily got back to her hooves and spoke.

"A-actually, they aren't somepony."

The time was 9:00 p.m. Luna's moon hung proudly in the sky. The nighttime air hosted a cacophony of natural sounds ranging from crickets chirping to howls of wind sounding through gutters on homes. Regardless, and needless to say, the aura around Ponyville this night was calm and peaceful. Of course, this could've simply been a result of nopony being outside because they were fast asleep. Only Twilight and Fluttershy, still at Golden Oaks, remained awake. Spike had gone to bed while the rest of the group left after being assured everything would be alright. Despite Fluttershy's assurance, however, Twilight couldn't help but worry for the success of this last minute recruitment. She especially hoped he hadn't been interrupted from sleep by the guards sent to retrieve him. The two mares were sipping tea in the kitchen when a knock at the front door was heard. Twilight set her tea down and proceeded to open it.

"We've retrieved the subject," spoke one of the guards as he gestured to the carriage behind him, along with the 'subject', who spoke up himself.

"Iron Will's too tired to shout his offense."

The guards did and said nothing while Twilight smiled and turned back to them. "Thank you sirs," she said, "this shouldn't take more than a few minutes."

They nodded and proceeded back to the carriage to wait. Twilight gestured for Iron Will to come inside. The minotaur took lumbering steps forward as he tried to keep himself balanced despite his tired state. Hoping to get on Iron Will's good side, Twilight let him use her wings for support while he ducked his head to pass through the front door. She showed him a nearby seat and helped him get comfortable before using her magic to shut the door. It was then that Fluttershy entered the main room from the kitchen.

"Hello, Iron Will," she said to him.

Iron Will lifted his drooping head. "Oh, hi Fluttershy." He stifled a yawn and looked to Twilight. "Whatever you need, princess, can't it wait until morning?"

Twilight took a seat across from him while Fluttershy positioned herself between them; reason being so she could quickly break up any shouting contests that arose between the two before they woke up all of Ponyville. While Twilight insisted she could manage things herself, Fluttershy knew the lavender princess and the self help guru both possessed strong charismas that she feared would clash violently. To that end, Fluttershy drew back to the lesson in assertiveness management she learned the last time Iron Will visited Ponyville so she wouldn't be intimidated to intervene in case they went at it.

"No, it can't," Twilight replied. "Would you rather me explain through written or spoken words?"

"Iron Will's ears are more awake then my eyes," he replied, slightly nodding off before catching himself. "So, what's happening that's so urgent it couldn't wait until morning?"

Twilight cleared her throat before speaking. "As I'm sure you know, DELOS shut down their vacation resort after the incident, to which they needed a replacement venture and asked me for help. Have you read mine and my friends' HUMAN trilogy?"

Iron Will nodded. "Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"A lot, actually." Twilight levitated the last contract from her desk nearby and over to the sleepy minotaur. He snatched it from the air and briefly looked down at it before glancing back up as Twilight continued talking. "Ever since DELOS publicly apologized for their gross negligence, I've been putting a production team together to adapt my HUMAN trilogy for Crystalvision. All I need now is a director, and Fluttershy recommended you without hesitation."

Iron Will turned to the butterscotch Pegasus, who shrunk back a bit under his gaze. "Why?" he asked.

Fluttershy was tempted to use her mane to curtain her face from view, but steeled her resolve and answered in a moderately hard tone. "Because you're perfect for the job, and I wanted to quell Twilight's panic over being tardy with production."

Iron Will raised a curious brow and turned back to the lavender princess. "You panic ov-"

"Anyway," Twilight interrupted, "it's my understanding that your methods of teaching ponies to be assertive have recently come under scrutiny from the public. Now, I personally have no problems with you in that regard, but it seems that ever since your last visit to Ponyville business has deteriorated. Is this true?"

Iron Will sighed. "To an extent, yes. But Iron Will won't readily give up his job as self help guru without hard evidence that it's for the best."

"Well," Twilight replied, "read that contract if you want an answer, because what's best for anyone is a matter of their own opinion."

With another, more tired sigh, Iron Will began reading the contract. Every now and then Twilight would use her magic to help him stay awake when he began to doze off. While reading, even though they were only half focused and not very expressive as a result, Twilight was sure she saw skepticism in Iron Will's eyes. When at last he finished, he set the contract down next to him and returned his gaze to her.

"As much as Iron Will likes the terms," he said, "I'm still not convinced it's my best option."

Before Twilight could respond, Fluttershy spoke up.

"Please, Iron Will; Twilight doesn't have any other options at this point." She got up out of her seat and flew over to him. She rested a hoof on his shoulder as she continued. "Even though things didn't work out between us the last time, I attended your seminar because I needed your help. Now, it isn't just me that needs your help, or just me and Twilight; everyone who's part of HUMAN's production needs your help, Iron Will. And believe me when I say your methods are just what we're looking for this time."

Fluttershy retracted her hoof as Iron Will brought a hand up to his chin for support while he mulled over her words. Across from him, Twilight studied his face again and was pleased that Iron Will seemed more receptive this time around. Her assumption was confirmed when Iron Will spoke again.

"Iron Will always fantasized about getting paid to shout orders." He smiled and picked the contract back up. "I'll do it, your highness."

Both Fluttershy and Twilight squeed in delight as the lavender princess levitated a quill over to the minotaur. He snatched it from her magic grasp and hurriedly signed his name on the bottom line, completing the deal and HUMAN's production staff in turn. He then handed both back to Twilight, who breathed an enormous sigh of relief and was about ready to burst with excitement, but kept herself composed for her guests.

"Thank you very much, Iron Will," she said, "now let's get you back home."

"There's a problem with that, princess," he replied.

"What?"

"Iron Will dead bolted his front door before coming here."

". . . So?"

Suddenly, Iron Will fell forward onto the floor. Both mares jumped back in surprise and were about to panic when they heard a muffled snoring emanating from him. Fluttershy tentatively stepped forward and nudged Iron Will in hopes of waking him up, to no success. Mulling over what he'd just said, Twilight groaned when she realized what his implications were, and even more at what she'd need to do about it.

"Fluttershy?" she said.

"Yes?"

"I'm going to tell the guards outside to come back in the morning." She trotted toward the door. "When I come back, can you help me set up the guest bed downstairs before leaving?"

Fluttershy tilted her head in confusion. Then realization dawned on her as well and she nodded.

"Sure thing, Twilight."

"Thanks." Twilight opened the front door. "Tomorrow's bound to be hectic, so I'll need plenty of rest in preparation for it."

Author's Note

Next time: Human Puppetry 101 with Twilight Sparkle, Overlord Goddess.

"To all my little humans, I command you to KNEEEEEEEEELLL before me!"

~ Twilight Sparkle, Alicorn Goddess Overlord

Unseen Controllers

The skies over Ponyville were blue as could be. Rainbow Dash had, after taking one of her patented 4-hour naps that morning, cleared the skies of all clouds at Twilight's request. The lavender alicorn hadn't asked for clear skies because she wanted to enjoy the sunshine, rather, to keep the air free of humidity for the day. She planned on spending the entire day teaching DELOS' unicorn technicians how to properly manipulate her human flesh puppets and didn't want the weather tiring them out before they had a firm grasp on how to do it, otherwise production would once again be in danger of falling behind schedule.

After waiting at the Ponyville train station for all of DELOS' former technicians to arrive, Twilight had them each carry a fair-sized load for their journey to the selected training grounds. Twilight chose to conduct the lessons in a field just north of Ponyville; within walking distance of Fluttershy's cottage in case of emergency, and vacant of ponies simultaneously so as to not endanger innocent bystanders. While manipulating flesh puppets was hardly dangerous, Twilight refused to take any chances concerning the safety of her subjects. Once they arrived at the training grounds, Twilight allowed everypony a ten minute break before lessons began. While the unicorns used the time to chat or rest, Twilight took the opportunity to size up her soon-to-be puppeteers while unloading all the packs.

She had a total of ten, and unlike the common stereotype of unicorns being lazy and snobbish, the ones before her were hard working and really useful. Then again, they had to be in order to build and repair such advanced cyborgs back at the DELOS resort. Twilight hadn't met them personally before they arrived at the train station, but DELOS had them keep their nametags from their previous job so Twilight could recognize them. Once she'd finished unpacking and all the puppets/provisions were set off to the side, Twilight whistled to which everypony stood at full attention. Twilight approached them, trying desperately to hold back a smile.

Now for the fun part.

"Alright ladies, line up!" she exclaimed. "In alphabetical order from your first name!"

Twilight watched amused while all ten ponies complied with their boss/princess' order, managing to trip over themselves and each other many times in the process. Normally, of course, Twilight resented ponies going out of their way to satisfy her; this was true even before she became a princess, with the best example being the time she had an extra ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala. This time, however, she needed the amusement. Twilight had spent every waking moment of her time the past few weeks getting everything ready for HUMAN's production. Everything, especially the flesh puppets' construction, had been plagued by misfortunes ranging from magical mishaps to injuries and culminating in last night's fiasco, after which she'd gotten very little sleep. After so much crap, Twilight needed something to take all her mental stress out on, and these unicorns were the perfect target.

"Now listen up!" she shouted. Everypony stood up straight and stared blankly ahead. Twilight paced back and forth along the line of stoically frightened unicorns, reading their name tags to make sure they'd properly organized themselves. She resumed talking once finished.

"This job may sound fun at first, getting to play with puppets and all. Well, let me make something perfectly clear. This. Isn't. Playtime." She walked a little ways in front of the line and used her magic to lift the Warren puppet from the pile. Twilight then levitated it out in front of her for everypony to see. "These are extremely fragile flesh puppets and require lots, I repeat, lots of care and skill to use properly."

To demonstrate her point, Twilight used her magic to open one of the packs they'd brought and rummaged around in it, eventually pulling out a large butter knife. All the unicorns gasped in shock as Twilight shot the knife into Warren's back, whereupon it tore through his body and exited out the other side. Fake, synthetic blood sputtered from the wound and ran down Warren's chest. His brown shirt quickly stained and once the crimson reached his blue pants, so did they. Then, to the unicorns' horror and slight confusion, fake blood began leaking from Warren's mouth, spilling down his front body and further staining his clothes a crimson red. Twilight set both Warren and the butter knife onto the grass before continuing her lecture.

"For all intents and purposes, treat these flesh puppets like they're alive. While they may not have awareness, these humans are as physically living as anyone else. Therefore, I expect you to treat them accordingly when in use. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, your highness!" they all shouted.

"Good." Twilight began passing out flesh puppets to everypony, making sure the recipient had a firm grasp on theirs' with their magic before letting go. Once she was done, Twilight took ahold of Warren and began using her magic to heal the wound she'd inflicted upon him. While she knew some basic healing magic, Twilight wasn't about to waste precious time fixing up her flesh puppets from blunders caused by their puppeteers, which is why she did her best to nail the point home that the flesh puppets weren't toys. Hopefully, her efforts wouldn't be in vain.

Once finished mending Warren, Twilight levitated him beside her and turned to face the unicorns, who were now studying the flesh puppets closely like germs under a microscope.

"Now then," she said, to which they stood attentive once more, "time to begin your training." She pointed a hoof to Warren. "I designed the human body as a mix of various mammalian species, the two most notable of which being ponies and minotaurs. As you can see," she levitated one of Warren's arms up and waggled his fingers, "humans possess hands like minotaurs. Additionally," she then ruffled Warren's hair, tangling it in turn, "they possess manes similar to us ponies, though theirs' can only naturally sport one color, and the number of possible colors is far lesser than that of our manes. Having these similarities should make it that much easier to get in tune with your puppet's metabolism." Twilight smirked. "And having the Element of Magic herself as your teacher couldn't hurt, either."

Everypony, including Twilight, laughed at her joke. She then directed their attention back to Warren. "Now," she said, "your first lesson will be learning the proper technique for holding a flesh puppet so it doesn't rip apart, while simultaneously allowing it freedom of movement in your grasp." Twilight pointed at the leftmost unicorn in line. "Mr. Xenosaki, can you answer what bodily system is responsible for this?"

Mr. Xenosaki tapped a hoof to his chin in thought for a moment before replying. "The muscular system . . . right?"

"Correct," Twilight replied. "The muscular system makes freedom of movement possible for us, and humans by extension. Therefore, in order to properly control a human flesh puppet, the puppeteer must channel their magic specifically throughout the muscular system. This, however, isn't so easy." She then pointed to the rightmost unicorn. "Ms. Grant, levitate your puppet for me, please."

Ms. Grant did as instructed and levitated her flesh puppet of Sarah Allen, Pinkie Pie's OC, up beside her. "Good," Twilight replied. "Now, where exactly are you gripping her at?"

Ms. Grant briefly looked over to Sarah before responding. "The whole area of her torso."

"Yes, that is understandable." Twilight pointed at Sarah. "Now try extending your grip to her left arm without letting go of her torso."

Ms. Grant sweated nervously a bit and rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. She didn't want to go against Princess Twilight's commands, but simultaneously hesitated for fear of screwing up in front of everypony else.

"Ms. Grant," Twilight said, "is something wrong?"

"NO, no, nothing," she said, panicked. Ms. Grant attempted channeling her magic through Sarah's left arm as instructed. To her dismay the task proved too difficult and she promptly collapsed to the ground panting while Sarah fell beside her in a crumpled heap. "I'm *gasp* sorry *gasp* princess," she said, panting.

"Don't worry about it," Twilight replied while using her magic to lift Ms. Grant back onto her hooves. "That's what practice is for." Her face went stoic. "Now, answer me this; specifically, how did you attempt to carry out my instruction?"

Still panting, Ms. Grant answered while everypony else listened with rapt attention. "I *gasp* tried to *gasp* increase my magical output and *gasp* spread the extra through Sarah's arm."

Twilight waited for her to calm down before answering. "As I thought, however, that's what caused you to tire out." She spread her gaze to everypony. "Simply increasing your output of magic may be your first instinct, but total control over the human muscular system can't be achieved using this method. Can anypony tell me the correct way?"

After a few moments of nopony replying, Twilight levitated Warren out in front of her. "The key to success is an equal division of one's magic between each body part." She pointed a hoof toward the line's middle unicorn. "Mr. Nycto, what's your average iota output?"

The unicorn in question pondered a bit before answering. "If I recall correctly, about 13.9 kilograms."

"Excellent!" Twilight exclaimed, then retrained her gaze on everypony. "The ideal IO needed for stable manipulation of a flesh puppet is 12 kilograms; 2 per body part. That much is enough to achieve balance, any more and you'll exhaust yourself." Twilight made Warren point his finger toward them, intentionally demonstrating her mastery of the aforementioned technique. "Now, let's see how well you can implement this balancing technique. I want you all to make your puppets simultaneously rotate their head and every limb." To demonstrate, she had Warren retract his finger and move his limbs forward in a rolling motion while his head swiveled from side to side.

The line of unicorns proceeded to do what Twilight asked, some more reluctant than others. The lavender princess watched as they all closed their eyes and concentrated on spreading even their magic throughout their puppets' bodies. Twilight took note of how half the unicorns were sweating through their efforts, indicating they had an AIO lower than the recommended 12 kilograms. This wasn't a huge concern for her, however; it would be awhile before their services were needed in making HUMAN episodes. She planned on having them build up their AIO during the interceding time, as well as take their puppets home so they could practice controlling them.

After observing them for a minute, Twilight told everypony to cease the task. They lowered their human puppets to the ground simultaneously, some more gently than others. All in all, Twilight was pleased with the skill level of everypony, but there was still more to learn.

"Alright," she said, "I'll start the next lesson while your magic recharges."

Everypony simultaneously took a breather while watching Twilight, once again, bring Warren out in front and start controlling him. This time, Twilight wiggled his fingers up and down while simultaneously waving his arm back and forth. While the resulting motion would normally look incredibly silly, the unicorns were afraid they'd be asked to pull off a similarly complicated motion with their own puppets. Said fears reached their apex when Twilight ceased Warren's waving and began speaking again.

"The next lesson is about 'simultaneous secondary manipulation' of human limbs in addition to their digits." Twilight had Warren wave his fingers again to clarify what 'digits' referred to. "In other words, you'll learn how to control their fingers and arms at the same time." She took a moment to stretch before resuming. "Since you're probably still too tired to attempt it yourselves, I won't ask anypony to attempt it themselves just yet."

Half the unicorns sighed in relief, to which Twilight just rolled her eyes and smiled. She then had Warren resume his waving motion from before. "Now, can anypony tell me what they think the key to achieving this is?"

A couple of hooves shot up; Twilight pointed to Mr. Xenosaki again. "Yes?"

Mr. Xenosaki cleared his throat before speaking. "It should be easy to see, but if I'm wrong I'll understand. The key to achieving S.S.M. is a further division of magic in the limb, spread equally throughout the fingers."

"Correct," she said. "The key to 'S.S.M.' is indeed a further division of magic. However, it takes more than simply dividing those 2 kilograms between the arm and hand to achieve total control." Twilight had Warren move his fingers again, but instead of wiggling she had him close his hand into a fist. She then proceeded to lift just his thumb up for a second, then his index finger, then the following three fingers one after another. "In order to have total control over a human arm, your magic needs to be able to operate all five fingers independently of each other."

Twilight looked at everypony to find them all sweating profusely, no doubt afraid to attempt S.S.M. themselves. At first their nervousness amused her, but now Twilight was becoming irritated at the lack of spine among her soon-to-be HUMAN puppeteers.

"Look," she said, "I understand this is only getting more and more daunting. I may be the Element of Magic, but the truth is I sometimes make mistakes when using these puppets myself. Therefore, don't be afraid to make any yourself because I won't admonish you; in fact, I'll punish anypony who does. Does that make you all feel better?"

Everypony nodded slightly, which was good enough for Twilight. "Alright then," she said, "let's try some finger manipulation exercises. First, channel magic through your puppets' fingers. Don't worry about channeling it through their arms as well if you find maintaining control over both at once too difficult; these exercises won't require use of their arm proper, just the fingers."

Everypony did as instructed. "Now, copy Warren's movements," Twilight said. She had Warren dip his index and middle finger down for a moment while keeping the other three enclosed, then watched everypony repeat the motion with their own puppets. While a few struggled at first to keep their focus on just the two fingers, Twilight was pleased with all their attempts.

"Good," she said, "now try this one." Warren hooked his middle around the index finger, once again keeping the other three enclosed. While the motion may have seemed simple, everypony had trouble forcing their puppets' middle fingers down alongside at first. Those who tried using the index finger as the hook found it physically impossible to get it around the middle finger.

"Again, good," Twilight said once they all finished, "now for something a little harder." This time Warren enclosed only his two smallest fingers. The index finger was left sticking out unused while the thumb and middle finger were pressed against each other. Then, faster than anypony could say 'What?', Warren struck his finger hard against his palm. The resulting noise caused everypony's ears to perk up for a second. Twilight returned her gaze to them once more.

"That's something only creatures with hands can do," she told them. "It's called 'finger snapping'; now you try it."

None of the unicorns sweated under pressure this time, but not because they thought of the task as being easy. Indeed, they thought it'd be nigh impossible for them to pull it off, which is why their minds were currently scrambling to comprehend how their princess expected them to succeed at it. They all stared blankly into space, eyes unblinking and unmoving. Some couldn't take the mental strain and fell hard to the ground, their brains unable to keep them standing upright. Twilight sighed and facehoofed upon seeing their reactions to her command.

"Never mind," she said. "We'll take a lunch break, during which time I'll explain in detail how to make a human snap their fingers."

No sooner had Twilight finished than everypony was rummaging through the lunch packs they'd brought.

Sweetie Drops happily pranced through the streets of Ponyville. Balanced on her back was a large sack full of bits she'd earned from selling candy at the marketplace. She'd truly outshined herself in selling candy today, and had the bits for proof. In fact, with as much money as she currently had Sweetie could pay Lyra enough to rent her own apartment for at least a month. The thought of getting Lyra out of the house at long last greatly pleased Sweetie, but at the same time she knew things wouldn't be the same without her mint green, hobbyist friend around. As much as Sweetie complained about and dreaded Lyra's mooching, a part of her was happy to have such a great friend for a roommate. Then again, Sweetie knew that even if/when Lyra moved out they'd still see each other during writing sessions for HUMAN, in addition to casual meet-ups every now and then.

While thinking about her secondary job as HUMAN script writer alongside Lyra, Sweetie remembered the conversation with Lyra that ultimately led to it.

"C'mon Sweetie *munch* *gulp*, it'll be fun."

"I'm sure it would."

"So why don't you do it?"

"*sigh* Lyra, there's just no reason for me to join. The only two reasons I could have to are: A. Hang out with you, or B. For monetary gain. *munch* *munch* *gulp* We already spend so much time together, being roommates and all, that the first reason is null and void. As for the second, I've been selling a surprisingly large amount of candy at market recently, which means big bits in turn. So, yeah, there's really no reason for me to join HUMAN's staff. *siiiip*"

"*sigh* Okay Sweetie, I understand."

"Glad you do. *siiip* *sigh* Would you mind taking my dishes while I use the lavatory?"

"Of course, Sweet-"

"SWEET CELESTIA!!! *thud*"

"What? What's wro-"

"How many times have I told you to stop using those . . . things?"

". . . First of all, they're called hands, Sweetie. You know, those things some species have instead of hooves or claws? Second, I find them quite useful; there's some things hands can do better than either alternative."

"I don't care! Just change them back . . . oh, ewww. *urk*"

"Really, they are. Here, let me give you a backrub."

"Get them away from me! *urk* Gonna . . . puke . . . *URK*"

Needless to say, Sweetie ended up using the lavatory double time then. Afterwards, Lyra still refused to change her self-given hands back into hooves, prompting Sweetie to beg, plead and cry for mercy. One melodramatic hour later, Lyra agreed to stop using hands on the condition that Sweetie joined HUMAN's writing staff. Desperate to rid her precious eyesight of the R.L. Stallion-esque terror, she agreed and, after working it out with Twilight the next day, joined HUMAN's writing staff.

One thing Sweetie Drops wasn't worried about, however, was her writing skills. While she wasn't even close to that of Twilight or even Lyra, Sweetie knew the components of a good story and understood how scripts were written. Plus, she'd have Lyra there for help in case she couldn't hold her own. Further plus, the fact that HUMAN was adapting from Twilight's book trilogy made Sweetie feel extra confident the job wouldn't be creatively challenging; the lavender alicorn and her friends had provided more than enough substance in the books themselves.

So long as Lyra keeps her promise, I'll do it.

Eventually she rounded a corner onto her house's street, reaching her dwelling a minute later. Upon reaching the front door, Sweetie heard a faint sound coming from inside. Holding off on entering for a moment, she pressed her ear up to the wooden door and listened. Her other ear perked up in immediate recognition at the sounds of low, guttural moans emanating from inside. Sweetie quickly snapped out of her stupor and knocked upon the wood a couple times. A yelp of surprise and a scuffling sound could be heard in response, followed by a pattering up the stairs to the second story. Utterly confused, Sweetie pushed in the doorlock with her hoof and entered.

"Lyra!?" she called, "what was that noise I just heard?"

No answer came. Sweetie trotted towards the stairs to call again to Lyra, but froze when she sighted a large patch of dust near the landing. Marked within said patch of dust, plain as day to the non-blind, was a human footprint.

"LYYYYYYRAAAAAA!!!"

Author's Note

Next time: The writing process, with added realism.

"Freakout in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1"

"AAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!"

Most of the group shot up in alarm at Twilight's outburst. Spike, however, merely looked at his pseudo-mother in concern. Everybody else followed suit, staring at her with similar, though more fearful looks.

"My dear Twilight," Zecora said from where she lay on the ground, "what isn't right?"

It was the day following Twilight's flesh puppetry session. She was back in the same field as yesterday with her HUMAN script writing staff, brainstorming on how best to adapt the books to Crystalvision. Everyone had a copy of all three HUMAN books to use for reference and plenty of parchment, quills, and ink for jotting down ideas. Unfortunately, the group seemed to be lacking the very latter.

Twilight rubbed the bridge of her muzzle and sighed. "It's nothing, Zecora." The zebra raised a concerned brow while the lavender princess kept talking. "Seriously, somebody must've come up with an idea by now; just let it out."

Silver Tongue raised his hoof. "I have a good idea to propose."

"Yes!?" Twilight asked, excited.

"How about we take a lunch break before we ponder any further?" he replied, lowering his hoof.

As if on cue Twilight's stomach growled, to which she blushed a bright shade of crimson. "Alright, we'll take a lunch break." Before anyone could sigh in relief, however, Twilight continued. "But, I expect you to keep brainstorming all the while we're eating, and give me ideas as you think them up."

A few minutes later the group was eating daisy sandwiches and hay fries in a small circle facing each other, minus Spike who ate from a bucket of red jaspers sprinkled with diamond dust. Everyone ate in relative silence with the only audible sound being Spike's hard dragon fangs chomping down and chewing on his gems. All the while they ate, as Twilight commanded, the group brainstormed ideas for the show's format and how best to adapt stories from the HUMAN trilogy. Unfortunately for Twilight, however, no one had the confidence to pitch their ideas to her, as they feared she'd find them unsatisfactory for an adaptation of her masterpiece trilogy.

Twilight herself, however, had an idea just before lunch wrapped up. She remembered back to after she'd completed the second book in the trilogy, HUMANS, with her friends and was officially burnt out of ideas for the third book. With no one else to turn to, Twilight reached out to the fanbase that resulted from the first two books for help in writing the final part of the HUMAN trilogy. Lyra's idea to make humans the overlords of ponykind through fiction, thereby implying that they're responsible for everything that happens in Equestria, was a stroke of pure brilliance and definitely deserved to be the basis for the final book, titled HUMAN: Friendship is Meta. It was because of such creative talent that Twilight chose to recruit Lyra for the writing staff of the Crystalvision adaptation, and with her connections to the HUMAN fandom, Twilight hoped to get feedback regarding what the self-proclaimed humares would like to see put into the show.

Once everybody finished eating and put away all their trash, Twilight spoke up with renewed confidence.

"Now, I know you all have ideas," she said, "but it's apparent you lack confidence in them. As such, I propose we ask the HUMAN fandom for their thoughts on how to adapt the show to Crystalvision."

The group did nothing to indicate they disagreed, to which Twilight beamed and continued. "Alright then." She turned to Spike. "Spike, take a letter."

"Sure thing," the baby dragon replied, and picked up his quill and parchment.

Celestia sat upon her throne, regal as always, but with genuine happiness for once in all the time she'd ever spent conducting Day Court. Unlike so many petitioners who gained an audience with her only to complain about the most ridiculous of grievances, the unicorn mare currently speaking to Celestia was actually mature and reasonable with her statements. She was voicing concerns over the general incompetence and laziness of her hometown's workforce, and whether there was anything Celestia could do to change it.

The mare was just about wrapped up when a scroll materialized in front of Celestia. She enveloped it in her magic, then unfurled and read it.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I know you're conducting Day Court right now, but I also know how much you hate listening to those snobby nobles whine and complain so much. By all means use this request as an excuse to relieve the headaches for awhile.

It has come to my attention during HUMAN's production that the writing staff is unsure what ideas will be praised or panned by fans of my book trilogy. Therefore, it has been decided upon to use fan feedback to gauge what will be well-received and what won't. What I'm asking you for, is some funding to set up a convention where humares can come to get a sneak preview of what HUMAN's production has cooked up. That way, we can gauge what needs to be changed or improved upon, in addition to answering questions they may have surrounding the book series' origins, development, and what will change between them and the show.

Whether or not you agree to help us won't affect our relationship, I guarantee it. With that said, five thousand bits shouldn't be asking for too much to give your most faithful student. Would it?

Sincerely,

Princess Twilight Sparkle

"Please pardon me, Sol Do," Celestia said upon finishing the letter, "but it appears my most faithful student needs my help with something."

Sol Do looked downcast. "Ah understand, yer highness."

"But," Celestia continued, to which Sol Do perked back up, "you've been such a pleasant audience that I've decided to invite you for stay overnight while we discuss how best to deal with those lazy miners."

Sol Do beamed in response before recomposing herself and bowing. "Ah'm most grateful fer yer invitation, princess."

"You're very welcome," Celestia replied with a warm smile. "Guards, escort Miss Sol Do to an open guest room of her choosing. Also, inform the remaining petitioners that Day Court will resume in an hour's time."

"Yes, your majesty," they replied.

As the two escorted Sol Do out of the throne room, Celestia teleported herself out. With a resounding pop she reappeared inside the Royal Treasury. Millions upon millions of bits were stored here in neat little stacks, a result of putting Twilight's obsessive compulsiveness to productive use.

Looking at all the wealth in front of her, Celestia thought back to the time fifty years prior when the government had accumulated enough bits that the treasury room seemed filled to burst. To remedy this, Celestia commissioned a group of construction ponies from Fillydelphia to enlarge the room by one and a half times its size. What Celestia hadn't accounted for was that in order to fund the construction she needed to extract a rather large sum of bits from the treasury; only after she'd finished extracting the bits did Celestia realize she'd remedied the excess funds problem herself.

If Luna was around to see that . . . Celestia shuddered at the thought.

The money had instead gone to building a few new rooms throughout the castle. After her blunder, Celestia drew a height chart along the walls to measure the piles of bits the treasury contained. Each section of the chart was represented by an analogous picture of how greedy/generous Celestia was being with the treasury's bits. At the very top of the chart was a picture of a dragon protecting its horde, while no picture existed at the very bottom which indicated nothing was left. In the chart's middle was a picture of the current appearance to the Element of Generosity; it used to resemble its previous appearance of a stone sphere until Celestia changed it to account for the element's new look following Nightmare Moon's return and subsequent defeat.

Looking at the bit stacks' height in accordance with the chart, Celestia saw it was exactly halfway between the Element of Generosity and Dragon Horde pictures. With a smile, Celestia summoned an inkwell, parchment, and quill and wrote up a response to Twilight's letter. Attaching the requested bits to the transportation spell, Celestia sent the letter off to Ponyville.

I'm sorry, Spike.

While the group of seven waited for Celestia's response to Twilight's letter, the lavender alicorn took the time to conduct a pep talk about confidence in oneself. She told the group that if they let their fear of criticism hold them back from pitching ideas the show would never come to fruition. Additionally, Twilight worked hard to drive the point home of how she'd never berate them for pitching half-baked ideas, and that she was no exception to mediocrity.

After all was said, Twilight looked to everyone's faces and was relieved to see they were looking at least partially more confident in their expressions. Just in time too, for Spike belched out Celestia's reply letter almost immediately following Twilight's pep talk. She was about to unfurl the scroll when another belch sounded from Spike, and looked up to see a shower of bits sailing straight for her face.

"AHHHHHH!!!" She cried while closing her eyes, and instinctively threw both her wings in front of herself to shield from the oncoming wealth. The torrent of bits struck her harder than Rainbow Dash did whenever she crashed into the library after failing a stunt. It pushed her some meters backwards before managing to topple her over onto her back. The bits' clinking against each other sounded above Twilight for a few more seconds before fading, to which she nervously opened her eyes and sat up on her haunches.

Everybody else, minus Spike who was passed out on his belly, was either staring wide eyed at him or the trail of bits that ran from his mouth to a few meters past Twilight. The sudden onslaught of bits striking the lavender alicorn had left them all frozen in shock, but they quickly snapped back to their senses upon realizing Twilight was hit.

"Princess Twilight!" Written Script shouted. "Are you okay!?"

Twilight struggled back onto her hooves and used one wing to wave back to them. "Yes, I'm fine!" she shouted back, and began following the bit trail back to the group. "Is Spike okay!?"

"It looks like he's unconscious!" Sweetie Drops answered back.

"Will he be alright?" Lyra asked as Twilight reached them.

"Yeah, he will," Twilight replied with a smile. "He's just exhausted after receiving such a large response from Princess Celestia. Speaking of which . . ." Twilight looked back at the long stream of bits stretching across the grass, their gold casing shining in the sunlight and bathing the clearing in a luminescence almost as bright as Celestia's sun. " . . . it looks like the princess has agreed to help us."

"What does the letter say?" Silver Tongue asked.

Twilight realized she was still holding onto the scroll with her magic; she proceeded to unfurl and read it.

To: Princess Twilight Sparkle
From the desk of her royal highness, Princess Celestia of Equestria.

Consider yourself very fortunate, Princess Twilight, for you caught me during one of the rare times I enjoyed conducting Day Court. If I wasn't in such a joyous mood I might've turned down your request. Then again, the Royal Treasury needed a little trimming so maybe it wouldn't have mattered.

At any rate, I've agreed to fund your little endeavor for a convention, but while the government is supplying the bits it's entirely up to your group to put it together. Knowing your knack for organization, this shouldn't be a problem for you. I look forward to seeing what your group of writers will have in store for everypony.

Oh, and give my sincerest apologies to Spike for what I put him through.

"So, what'd she say?" Lyra eagerly asked.

Twilight looked to the group and smiled. "She's agreed to help."

Everybody smiled wide in excitement while Twilight continued talking. "She said while she's supplying the bits needed, it's up to us alone to set up the convention." She looked to Lyra and Sweetie. "Can I trust you two to take care of that?"

Both mares saluted and nodded in response.

"Alright then." Twilight looked at the bit stream that amassed from Spike's dragon fire. "Would everybody be so kind as to help me gather and organize these bits?"

Everybody nodded and began helping however they could. Twilight, Lyra, and Silver Tongue used their magic to pile together all the bits they could while everybody else used their hooves to complete the job. Once finished, and Twilight had properly organized them into neat little stacks, the group was left with a pile of bits the same height as them and a pony length across.

"There," Twilight said, panting, "we're done."

Everybody else was too tired to say anything, instead choosing to lightly stomp their hooves in excitement. Once they'd all gotten their breath back, Twilight spoke up again.

"Now then." She lay on the grass and motioned for everyone to follow, which they did without hesitation. "We need to come up with a format for the show. Now that you're, hopefully, no longer hesitant to pitch ideas we can make some actual progress." She gestured to Lyra. "Lyra, wou-"

"Looks like Spike's waking up," Written Script interrupted, looking in the baby dragon's direction. Twilight followed his gaze to see that Spike was indeed waking up and looking incredibly dazed. She couldn't blame him for being so after what he just went through. Putting aside her query for now, she strode over to Spike and used her magic to prop him back on his feet and keep him steady. The baby dragon woozily tilted his head for a moment before shaking it and recomposing himself.

He looked up to Twilight. "What happened?"

Twilight frowned. "Princess Celestia sent five thousand bits through your dragon fire all at once; you passed out right afterwards. She says she's sorry, by the way."

"Meh, she's forgiven," Spike replied, clutching his head. Then he coughed and spoke again. "Mind if I head back to the library and get some medicine? My throat's all kinds of sore."

Twilight's frown lifted into a smile. "Sure, Spike. In fact, take the rest of the day off; the rest of us can manage just fine now."

With a nod, Spike began the journey back to Golden Oaks. Twilight returned to the group and resumed her query to Lyra.

"Like I was saying, would you care to share what ideas you've got Lyra?"

All eyes turned to the mint green unicorn, who rubbed her chin in thought for a moment before answering. "Well, I was thinking we could divide the show into story arcs with each one spanning a decade of humankind. Starting with the 1910's, each arc would follow and expand upon every decade's events as described in the first HUMAN book. Does that sound good?"

Everyone mulled over Lyra's pitch for a while before Twilight replied. "You're thinking along the right lines, Lyra, but there's a few points we need to take into consideration. First of all, and you should know this being the self proclaimed #1 HUMAN fan, ponies will want to see their favorite parts of the books be adapted, which won't always be those that I detailed in the first book. That brings me to my second point, the other two books. We need to incorporate aspects of all three books into the show, because that's the one thing we can guarantee the fans will expect from us."

Everybody nodded in agreement and Twilight continued.

"Thirdly, we need to be mindful of who's going to watch the show. The books, while not age restricted, weren't written as bedtime stories to read little foals. The amount of violence and bloodshed I wrote in was a clear indication that the HUMAN trilogy was meant for mature ponies, and that presents an interesting predicament for us. Unlike the books, Crystalvision will be easily accessible to ponies of all ages once it becomes affordable. Does everyone see where this is going?"

Everyone stared blankly for a moment before Sweetie Drops perked up and replied. "I get it. You're concerned that if we make the show too violent, and little foals lay their eyes on it, then their parents will complain to us."

Twilight nodded. "Exactly, and as a princess of Equestria the last thing I want to do is something that'll hurt my reputation. Therefore, we need to be delicate with the show's presentation. For my fourth and final point, how will we make use of the books' characters? Will we treat them as an ensemble, or will we focus on a main protagonist while having a supporting cast of characters? These are all questions we need to take into consideration right now." She levitated up a parchment and a quill and began making a checklist of each point of discussion.

"Those points would've been useful to know from the start of our brainstorming session," Silver Tongue stated. "Why didn't you inform us of them right away, princess?"

Twilight stopped writing and looked up at the well-spoken unicorn. Her cheeks were tinged a slight shade of crimson. "I . . . kinda, sorta, . . . hadn't thought of them yet."

Everybody raised a curious brow at that answer. "When did you?" Zecora asked, one of the few instances in which she didn't rhyme.

Twilight's blush reddened considerably. " . . . While we were eating." She smiled sheepishly.

" . . . What were you thinking about before then?" Written Script asked.

Twilight's cheeks were like a pair of bright red tomatoes by this point. Putting aside the checklist for now, she called magic into her horn for a summoning spell.

The door to the Golden Oaks library opened and Spike walked in. He kept rubbing at his sore throat as he walked into the kitchen to look for the appropriate medicine. Unbeknownst to him, as he searched through the kitchen's many cupboards a painting which was propped up against the center table vanished in a flash of light.

A second later, the painting reappeared in front of Twilight. It had a stylized golden frame with fancy, intricate patterns carved in. The painting itself is what caught everybody's eye. It showed Twilight's OC, Warren Zaccaro, sitting against a brick wall in a room filled with a plethora of other humans. He was sitting alone, eating his lunch whilst observing the activities of everyone else in the room. No one else was sparing him a glance, and the young man seemed perfectly content with that.

It took a moment for everyone to realize the painting depicted one of the key scenes from Twilight's vignette of HUMANS. Once they recognized it, everyone either raised their brows in excitement or confusion; mostly the latter.

"It's a very fine painting," Silver Tongue observed. "Are you the artist, princess?"

Twilight shook her head. "I found it on my balcony this morning, but whoever made it didn't sign their name on the bottom or leave a note of explanation. I really like it; whoever painted it probably has a Cutie Mark relating to artistry, like a paintbrush or easel or something." She sighed. "I'd been trying to deduce who gave it to me during the start of our brainstorming session but wasn't having any luck." She sheepishly rubbed the back of her head. "That's kinda why I freaked out earlier."

Being quite familiar with Twilight's obsession of uncovering truths, everybody ahhed in realization. Twilight flipped the painting around to look at it again and smiled. It truly did perfectly capture Warren's character, which Twilight had based very much on herself before she discovered the magic of friendship. She'd characterized Warren as having an all-encompassing viewpoint of his surrounding environment, meaning he could look at and understand things from anyone's viewpoint, with no imprinted notions of what to believe. In other words, Warren, like her, wouldn't form an opinion of anyone without first observing their behavior and putting together a likely explanation for why they'd act in such a way; it was how Twilight helped bridge the gap between Princess Luna and Ponyville's citizens on Nightmare Night, after all. In essence, Warren had the ability to do the same with other humans, but much like Twilight before she moved to Ponyville, lacked the motivation for it.

"Twilight?" Lyra said.

The lavender alicorn glanced up to the mint green unicorn. "Yes, Lyra?"

Lyra gestured to the painting. "This may sound far-fetched, but maybe whoever gave you that painting is trying to tell you something?"

Everyone else turned to Lyra with confused expressions while Twilight raised a curious brow. "That they can paint very well?"

Lyra facehoofed. "No, not that." She removed her hoof from her face. "What if the artist is trying to give us advice on how to make the show? Think about it, whoever painted this is clearly a humare to some extent, and the fact that they dropped it off at your balcony the night before development of the show started seems too perfect to be a coincidence."

Everyone's confusion only intensified instead of diminishing. "If that's really true," Sweetie Drops said, "then what's the advice?"

Twilight looked once again at the painting. Her brow furrowed as she tried to rationalize Lyra's theory. To an extent it made sense, though the advice of one solitary humare was insignificant against the majority opinion. But as Twilight looked more and more at the painting an idea for the show slowly began to take root in her psyche. It seemed at first to be too egotistical for her liking, and she was afraid the rest of the group would call her out for being self-indulgent. Then she remembered her own pep talk about being confident in oneself and not letting fears of criticism hold you back from presenting ideas. Not wanting to be a hypocrite, Twilight spoke up.

"I think I've figured it out." Everyone turned their gazes to her. "But don't take it the wrong way, please."

Night had fallen by the time Twilight returned to Golden Oaks. In her magic she held a large bundle of parchments containing many different notes and checklists. Using her hoof to push in the doorlock, she entered to find Spike lounging on a couch in the corner, reading a comic book.

"Feeling better?" Twilight asked.

Looking up over the top of the page, Spike set the comic book down and rushed over to give Twilight a hug, which the lavender princess returned with her wings.

"Yeah my throat's feeling much better," Spike replied. He then noticed the scrolls. "Are those all for HUMAN?"

Twilight smiled and replied in a chipper tone. "They sure are." She teleported the entire bundle up to her desk upstairs. "And by Star Swirl's beard, the show will be the greatest thing ponykind has ever seen!"

With a smile and a shrug, Spike replied, "If you say so," and left to return to his comic book. Twilight then teleported herself upstairs to begin the long, arduous process of fleshing out her idea.

Author's Note

This chapter was a b***h to write. As such, please let me know if the overall flow and feel of this chapter feels inconsistent with the preceding ones and I'll try to fix it.

Next time: Who gave Twilight the painting? What happened to it? What does Twilight's idea consist of and how did everyone react to it? All very good questions that I'll be sure to- OH MY STARS, WHAT'S THAT THING!!!? *runs away*

HUMANcon

Manehattan. Hearing the name of said city typically conjures thoughts of upper class aristocratic ponies whose snobbish attitudes are second only to those in Canterlot. While normally this would amount to unfair stereotyping, there is a truth to this perception when given more accurate context. Since its founding, the city of Manehattan has been divided into two sections, one northern and one southern; colloquially referred to as the China and the Trough, respectively. The stereotype of Manehattan ponies being high class snobs would only hold truth in the China, as the vast majority of its residents are of the upper class. Conversely, ponies who live in the Trough are almost all part of the lower, working class.

While Manehattan's class division can be boiled down to the simple 'black & white' formula, the history behind it's formation is anything but. In fact, scholars continue to debate the exact course in which the city came to be metaphorically divided. One common theory is that, hundreds of years ago, a group of Canterlot nobles and their indentured earth servants left the capital to build a new home during a period of overpopulation. According to this theory, residents of the China are in fact descended from this group of stray Canterlot nobles, while residents of the Trough are descended from their servants. This theory doesn't, however, provide an explanation for the differing accents possessed by residents of either side, though scholars speculate the accent possessed by the Trough's residents is related in some way to the southern drawl possessed by various earth pony families even today; the most prominent example being, of course, the Apple family. Whether or not any part of this theory is correct, however, has yet to be confirmed or denied.

But regardless of the history behind it, Manehattan's class divide has long been a displeasure to many Equestrians, not the least of which being residents of the Trough itself. While not inhospitable, the Trough is essentially the city equivalent of the infamous Everfree Forest. The architecture is about as bland as can be, the streets are loaded with cracks, and the overall atmosphere of the city has an unsettling mood that unnerves any outsiders who enter.

Today, however, was quite different. Hundreds upon hundreds of ponies were amassed in the Trough's convention center; most of them from out of town, and none were anything but happy to be there. They were all humares attending to get a sneak preview of HUMAN on Crystalvision. The ones who weren't chatting amongst themselves were transfixed to the stage at the room's far side, waiting for the curtain to be drawn. Backstage, Twilight was getting ready for the opening speech that would precede the clip show preview she'd put together for the convention, frantically rereading the lines she'd written many times over so as not to screw up. As much as she didn't like it, being a princess of Equestria demanded she set a confident example for Equestria's citizens to follow; slipping on even one line would give everypony the impression she lacked confidence, which would in turn break their confidence in her as a leader.

Attending the convention with her, not including the multitude of royal guards stationed around the perimeter of the room, were Silver Tongue, Big Mac, Lyra, and Spike. The baby dragon was currently setting the clip show up while the other three ponies looked at their princess with worrying expressions at how frantically she was reviewing her notes. While they knew how important it was for her to remain confident throughout the convention, they couldn't help but be concerned for Twilight's mental health.

"Okay," Twilight said, having apparently finished reviewing her notes, "that should be everything."

"Hey, Twilight?" Lyra said.

"Hmmm?"

The mint green unicorn placed a comforting hoof on Twilight's shoulder. She turned to face her.

"Princess . . . you need to relax," Lyra said.

The sound of both stallions present facehoofing was all that broke the silence that permeated following Lyra's statement. The mare herself, upon seeing Twilight's eye twitch, retracted her hoof. Lyra's ears then folded back as Twilight dropped her notes and turned to fully face her.

"What did you say?" she asked.

Lyra instinctively took a step back. "I said that you need to re-"

"That was a rhetorical question!" Twilight shouted. Lyra scurried back a few more steps out of genuine fear, almost bumping into Silver Tongue who, along with Big Mac, looked to each other and silently agreed to not get in Twilight's way.

"What I DO want an answer to," Twilight continued, "is how you can possibly think relaxing is appropriate right now?" She enveloped her notes in magic again and levitated them right in front of Lyra's face. "I . . . no, all of us will be under public scrutiny out there. Maybe things are different for you, but now that I'm a princess I can't afford to make any mistakes at public appearances like this, which means I need to prepare myself for anything and everything that gets thrown my way." Bringing the notes back over to herself, she gave them one last glance over before setting them down neatly on a nearby table. Sighing, Twilight sat down on her haunches and began rubbing her temples with both hooves; stress having finally started to take its toll on her overworked brain.

"That's why."

Twilight glanced over to Lyra. "Say what now?"

Steeling her resolve, Lyra closed the distance between herself and Twilight. She then pointed at Twilight's rubbing hooves. "That right there is my answer to your question."

Twilight removed her hooves and stared at them dubiously, trying to figure out what about them Lyra was talking about. Unable to figure it out, she turned to the mint green unicorn. "What're you talking about?"

Lyra lowered her hoof. "You need to relax because you're stressed, Twilight." She sat down next to the lavender princess and sighed. "Now, maybe you're right about how being a princess means not being allowed to make mistakes, but if that's the rule then there's really no way you can follow it."

"What do you mean?" Twilight asked.

Lyra turned to her with a solemn expression. "Everybody makes mistakes, Twilight; it's something everyone is taught sometime during their youth. And when I say 'everybody', that's including every prince/princess to ever exist." Lyra let out a small chuckle. "Princess Luna can attest to that herself, what with the whole 'Nightmare Moon' thing. Heck, even Celestia made the mistake of failing to properly consul her sister." Lyra's eyes went up in thought as she laid back on the wooden stage floor and relaxed her body. "And I do believe failing to recognize an imposter Cadence, thereby allowing Canterlot to be invaded, counts as a mistake. Also, isn't it true that she wrongly chastised you for accusing the imposter of manipulating your brother? Not to mention, she was somehow overpowered by that changeling queen, despite having enough power to move the sun AND moon." She chuckled again. "And then there's-mmmph!"

Lyra was silenced by Twilight's hoof covering her mouth. The lavender alicorn's wings ruffled in agitation as she spoke. "I get it, Lyra; no one's perfect. But from now on, please don't bring up anything relating to the wedding; I've still got mental scars from it."

Twilight removed her hoof from Lyra's mouth, allowing the unicorn to respond.

"Sure thing, Twilight," she said, sitting back up. "Anyway, it's ridiculous to get so worked up over something as trivial as a missed line during a speech. No one's going to lose faith, or whatever, in you for screwing up on a line. I mean, if ponies could retain faith in Celestia despite banishing her sister to the moon a thousand years ago, who's to say you couldn't do something equally as heinous and still be looked up to with admiration?"

Twilight thought for a moment before replying. " . . . I guess you're right."

"Not ta mention," Big Mac said as he and Silver Tongue closed the distance between the two mares, "y'all've got us ta back ya up should anythin' go south."

"Macintosh is quite right, princess," Silver Tongue said, letting both mares use his hoof as a support to stand back up. "You have nothing to fear should a moment arise where you're caught in a corner, for the three of us will be more than happy to step in while you recover."

Looking at the three of them, Twilight found herself extra thankful to have such great friends outside of her fellow element bearers. She blushed slightly and smiled in response to their encouraging and kind words.

"Thanks guys," she said, "I don't know what I'd do without great friends like you."

"I imagine you'd look to the other bearers of harmony for help," Silver Tongue mused. Twilight chuckled in response before turning to Lyra.

"By the way, Lyra," she said, "I've been meaning to say this for a while." She gestured to the curtain behind them, beyond which were the hundreds of ponies awaiting the event proper to start. "I think it was a great idea to set up the convention here in Manehattan's Trough section. All the money used to rent out this convention center should really help improve the standard of living here."

Lyra blushed. "It was actually Sweetie's idea, but I had no objections to it."

"Regardless," Twilight said, "I'm nothing if not happy that we're achieving so much good with this endeavor." She turned around to face the stage curtains, a determined expression plastered on her face. "With our combined support, nothing can stop us from-"

Spike's head popped through the curtain. "Uh, Twilight?"

Twilight ceased her rambling and turned to face her number one assistant. "Spike, is everything all set up?"

Spike sheepishly nodded. "Yeah, but . . . well . . ."

Twilight tilted her head in confusion. "Is something wrong Spike? Are the C.V.s not working properly?"

The baby dragon shook his head. "No, they're working fine. It's just that . . . you're probably going to need a bucket at the ready before you go out there."

Twilight's eyebrow arched. "Why would I need a bucket?"

Spike didn't answer. Instead, he walked over to the rope which would part the stage curtains when pulled. It took him a few attempts to clutch the rope firmly on account of his palms being unusually sweaty. When he finally got a good grip, he turned to Twilight in trepidation.

"I hope you didn't eat too much for breakfast this morning," he said, and pulled the rope.

"What're you say-" Twilight stopped. The curtains had parted to reveal the audience of humares in attendance. What she saw made Twilight's eyes go wide as dinner plates. Though they were spread thin throughout the audience, several ponies in attendance were transformed into anthro humans much the same way Lyra had been when Twilight first recruited her into HUMAN's writing staff. Whereas the normal ponies stood on their four hooves, the anthros stood up on their new feet, freeing up their new hands to wave at Twilight as they cheered for her.

The lavender alicorn herself, however, felt ready to throw up no more than five seconds after the curtain finished parting. She managed to avert her eyes from the horrid sight in front of her to glance at the many royal guards positioned around the room. Twilight envied them, for she could see that if they were disgusted by the self-mutations right in front of them, they did an admirable job of keeping it from showing on their faces which were currently stoic like always.

"Wow, this is . . . interesting, to say the least."

Though she couldn't see her, Twilight heard Lyra's statement crystal clear over the roaring crowd of humares. She briefed a glance to the mint green unicorn to see her facial expression was one of concern mixed with a hint of admiration. Twilight also caught a glimpse of both Big Macintosh and Silver Tongue shaking nervously, their faces slightly tinged puke green, as they attempted to keep from upchucking all over the stage.

Once the crowd's cheering died down enough, Twilight approached the microphone stand at the center stage and began her speech. All the fears she had from earlier of slipping up on a line returned full force as she struggled to speak while keeping her cool against the torrent of disgusted feelings brought about by the sights in front of her.

"Hello everypony, and welcome to HUMANcon!" Ponies throughout the audience rapidly stomped their hooves in delight, though, Twilight slightly winced at the accompanying sounds of hands clapping. "As you're all well aware, we'll be showing a sneak preview of HUMAN here, followed by a Q&A where the four of us-" Twilight gestured to the three accompanying ponies on stage "-will happily answer any questions you may have pertaining to the show's development, the book series it's based on, etcetera."

Twilight turned her head to the other three and continued. "With me are Lyra Heartstrings," everypony in attendance cheered wildly, no doubt happy to have a fellow humare among the show's staff, "Big Macintosh," a lesser, but still notable amount of cheers rang throughout the crowd, most of which being distinctly female in origin, "and finally, Silver Tongue." An even lesser amount of cheering was heard this time, but the ashen gray coated unicorn stallion was too preoccupied with holding back his breakfast to take any offense.

Twilight, reluctantly, faced the crowd and continued again. "And now, without further ado, the clip show will start." From backstage, Spike dimmed all the lights throughout the room, casting the convention hall into a shadowy bliss reminiscent of a movie theater. Essentially, that's what the convention hall was now, for Spike had set up a total of eight Crystalvisions around the perimeter of the room in between the guards. The crowd of humares split up into eight groups and gathered around the nearest Crystalvision. Twilight procured a recording crystal containing the clip show footage from her saddlebag. She then used her magic to synch it up with all the C.V.s around the room, upon which the clip show began playing immediately.

While everypony watched the action unfold on-screen, Twilight sighed in relief and turned to Lyra. The mint green unicorn shrunk under the angry expression the lavender princess gave her. When Twilight spoke to her, a small chill ran down Lyra's spine.

"Lyra, we need to talk, now."

"Okay, I can explain," Lyra said to Twilight.

The two of them, along with Big Mac and Silver, had relocated backstage for privacy. The clip show had about ten minutes of footage which was, hopefully, enough time to resolve the issue at hoof. Said issue, of course, was the fact that a large number of humares in attendance had copied Lyra's method of cosplaying by way of transformation spell. A spell that knowledge of, Twilight knew, could only come from the mint green unicorn herself. A mint green unicorn that was, currently, sweating and trembling under the intense glares of Twilight, Big Mac, and Silver.

"Yes, please," the lavender princess replied, her voice dripping with venom.

Gulping, Lyra began her explanation. "Okay, so after you instructed Sweetie and I to set up this convention, the two of us immediately came here to the Trough. We knew that the local government couldn't turn down an opportunity to make a little extra money for the poor ponies who live here, and sure enough, the city council was ever eager to support us."

Lyra noticed the impatient glares the other three ponies were now giving her, so she decided to cut to the chase. "Anyway, on our way to the train station for the return trip to Ponyville, we happened across a mare sitting on a stoop reading the third HUMAN book. While Sweetie continued on to purchase train tickets, I decided to strike up a conversation with this mare." She smiled solemnly. "Turns out, she was runner-up in the contest you ran for the third book."

"You mean Nyx?" Twilight asked, eyebrow raised.

"The very same," Lyra replied, keeping her solemn tone. "It took her a long time to swallow her pride and give the book a read." She sighed. "She wasn't angry when I told her who I was and what I was doing in Manehattan. Instead, she gave me a halfhearted congratulations and promised to attend the convention."

Lyra noticed the impatient glares of the three irate ponies in front of her remained, but didn't waver as she continued speaking. "Nyx made it quite clear how much effort she put into her submission, and seeing her so depressed that it didn't get chosen made me feel really bad." Now Lyra adopted a grim, determined expression. "Since she was a unicorn, I decided to teach her the transformation spell to, hopefully, cheer her up." She smiled again. "It worked; I don't think I've ever seen a mare so excited over learning a new spell."

Lyra's smile dropped into a frown. "Apparently, she saw fit to teach it to every other unicorn humare in Manehattan." Sighing again, Lyra turned to each of the three ponies as she addressed them. "Twilight, Big Mac, Silver, please believe me when I say it wasn't my intention for that," she pointed a hoof at the backwall through which the crowd of humares (anthros included) still watched the clip show preview, "to happen."

She set her hoof down and waited for a response. To her pleasant surprise, Twilight, Big Mac, and Silver were no longer seething with anger. Instead, their faces held expressions of understanding and remorse over the story Lyra told them. Twilight was the first to reply, and when she did it was in a soft, compassionate tone that held no trace of her previous contempt for the mint green unicorn.

"Lyra, I'm so sorry for being quick to judge." She gave her a sincere smile. "I guess that's yet another mistake princesses are capable of making."

All four ponies had a good hearty laugh at that. Afterward, Twilight turned to face the direction of the humare crowd. She'd probably never understand what went on in their heads, how they could be so casual about transforming their bodies. Physical transformation was seen more often than not as taboo in Equestria, yet there, right behind the backstage wall in the main room, was a mass group of ponies who couldn't care any less.

All these thoughts of transformation reminded Twilight of the time she herself performed such a spell.

"Here it is; a spell that will allow earth ponies to fly for three days. Oooh, it looks reeeally difficult; I'm not sure I can do it."

"You've got to try."

"Okay, but who's gonna volunteer to be the test subject?"

. . .

"I will! For Rainbow Dash, I will go first."

"Heeere goes."

"Twilight?"

The lavender alicorn was snapped out of her flashback by Big Mac's voice. "Y'all spaced out there," the farmstallion said. "Are y'all okay?"

Twilight didn't answer him. She dipped her head in thought for a moment before turning her gaze to Lyra.

"Maybe I've been overreacting to this whole 'cosplay' debacle," she told the mint green unicorn. Twilight smiled wryly. "I'm actually guilty of using a transformation spell myself."

Lyra smirked. "Rarity's wings, right?" She chuckled. "Hypocrisy; yet another mistake to add to the list."

All four ponies had another hearty laugh before Spike came rushing backstage.

"Hey Twilight?"

She turned to face the young drake. "Is the clip show almost done?"

Spike nodded. "But . . . well . . ."

Twilight approached him and bent over so the two were at eye level with each other. "Is something the matter, Spike?"

Spike briefly turned back in the direction of the humare crowd before looking back to Twilight nervously. "I tried persuading some of the cosplayers to return to normal, but they just told me to buzz off."

Twilight stood back up and frowned. "They were trying to watch the clip show, Spike; it's rude to interrupt someone when they're busy with something."

Spike sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah . . . but still, how are you going to keep composed throughout the Q&A?"

Twilight smiled. "I've . . . no, we've had a change of heart." She used a wing to point at the other three ponies who'd listened in on them. "I think we'll be just fine out there." She turned to the other three. "Right guys?"

All of Lyra, Big Mac, and Silver nodded in response. Spike just shrugged.

"If you say so," he said, then headed off toward the exit. "I'll be in the lobby reading magazines; come get me when you're done."

"Will do," Twilight replied, waving him off. "See you later."

"Bye Spike!" the other three said.

Sounds of the clip show behind the stage wall ceased. Twilight gestured with her wings for everypony to follow her onto the stage. They complied, ready to conduct the Q&A.

"Princess," an earth pony stallion near the stage said, having been granted permission to speak.

The whole of Twilight, Lyra, Big Mac, and Silver stood on stage in front of the enormous crowd. True to their word, the four of them were able to stay composed in front of all the anthros in attendance. Though they were still disgusted with the practice, none of them let it show on their faces. It would probably be a long time before any of them could readily accept the practice as anything other than downright creepy.

"Yes," Twilight replied to the stallion.

"The clip show implied that Warren's living in an apartment complex. This is confusing, as the books state he lives in a backwater neighborhood in a regular house. What does this mean?"

Twilight giggled. "All it means is that Warren's life will be expanded upon from what's written in the trilogy. Some ponies change residency during their life, like myself for example; the same applies with humans."

A unicorn mare near the east wall shot her hoof up, to which Twilight gestured for her to speak.

"I have two questions," she said. "One for Mr. Macintosh and another for Ms. Heartstrings."

"Ah'll go first," Big Mac stated, to which Lyra nodded in agreement. "Watcha wanna know, miss?"

From where he was standing, Big Mac could've sworn he saw a blush form on the mare's cheeks, but he just dismissed it as the lights playing tricks on his eyes.

"So, you're voice acting for Warren, correct?" the mare asked.

"Sure am, ma'am," Big Mac replied, giving a small smile. "That wasn't the question, right?"

The mare shook her head no. Big Mac noticed her legs were trembling, and thought he could see sweat forming on her brow. Whether or not the light was at fault didn't matter now, as Big Mac readied himself for her actual question. Upon hearing it, Big Mac raised a curious brow as to its oddity.

"Could you speak in Warren's voice for me, please?"

Everypony surrounding the mare turned to her with confused looks on their faces. She shrunk under all the attention she was getting, but perked up once Big Mac answered in his 'Warren' voice.

"Well, here 't is. Mind ya, Ah ain't gonna be talkin' like this an' the voice'll sound different comin' outta yer C.V." He then switched back to his normal speaking voice. "Was it everythin' y'all dreamed it'd be? Heh Heh."

The mare chuckled nervously and nodded before turning to Lyra. "And Miss Heartstrings, will the third book's premise be incorporated in the show?"

Lyra looked to Twilight for confirmation to answer. Twilight nodded, and Lyra turned back to the mare. "Yes, let the record show that the HUMAN Crystalvision adaptation implies that the titular species is, in fact, responsible for our entire existence."

A loud cheer erupted from the entire crowd. Seeing all the joyous faces throughout the crowd brought a large, heartfelt smile to Twilight's lips. Knowing that she was making so many ponies happy with her creation was truly something to be proud of.

This must be how Pinkie Pie feels half the time.

Once the cheering died down, Twilight spoke up. "Any more questions?"

A pegasus stallion raised a hoof from far out in the crowd. "Yes?" Twilight said, gesturing to him.

"Which one of you is the script writer?" he asked.

"Actually, we all are," Twilight replied. "I take it that wasn't your question either?"

The stallion shook his head. "Well then," Twilight said, turning to Silver, "how about you take this one, Silver?"

"With pleasure, dear Twilight." Silver replied, then turned to the stallion. "What is your question, sir?"

"Will there be any shipping in the show?"

Everypony in the crowd oohed at the question and a few even snickered. Silver was confused as to what the stallion meant by 'shipping'. He turned to Twilight for clarification, but the lavender alicorn merely shook her head. Seeing the two of them were clueless, Lyra whispered to Silver, "He's asking if any characters from the books will develop romantic feelings for each other in the show."

Both Silver and Twilight raised curious brows at the odd terminology, but didn't question Lyra as to its origins. Silver turned back to the stallion and answered.

"It's very possible you'll see some romance bloom between certain characters, but only if we believe such a thing shall fit with a character's . . . well, character." He chuckled a bit before continuing. "After all, as Princess Mi Amore Cadenza would say, 'love is as unpredictable as it is beautiful'."

Far away, in the Crystal Palace of the frozen north, a certain pink alicorn princess was watching her imported Crystalvision when she felt a sensation in her nose.

"Ah . . . Ah . . . ACHOO!!!"

Shining Armor looked up from his reports to her. "Bless you, dear."

Cadence wiped her nose. "No way that was a cold sneeze," she mused.

"Hmmm?"

"Nothing, honey," Cadence replied. She then resumed watching the C.V. in their bedroom which, at the moment, played nothing but DELOS advertisements 24/7. As much as the crystal princess liked watching adverts (not at all), she was eager to see HUMAN's Crystalvision adaptation as much as any humare, if only to support Twilight in her endeavor. Until then, she'd have to settle her boredom watching continuous junk.

Hopefully, whatever she comes up with is more entertaining than watching the SAME. FREAKING. advert for 'Gak' over and over again. Who in Celestia's name would even buy that stuff?

Far away, in Sugarcube Corner of Ponyville, a certain hyperactive party pony used her hooves to stretch a slimy, putty-like substance in front of her. She had bought a tub of Gak after seeing the advert for it on Mr. and Mrs. Cake's Crystalvision. Three weeks of pay was used to buy the stuff, and the mare who bought it was now enjoying the fruits of her labor.

"I'm SOOO happy that Gak is back," Pinkie announced whilst wrapping the ill-named substance around her hooves like mittens. Then, a random afterthought popped into her head, which she felt an urge to speak out loud as well. "And I can't wait to see what Twilight has in store for the humares."

Back in Manehattan, Twilight was about to take one last question when she felt a sudden sensation rising through her nasal passage from her throat.

"Ah . . . Ah . . . Ahhhhhhhh-CHOO!!!"

"Bless you, your highness," the unicorn stallion with the question said.

"Sure, sure," Twilight replied. She pulled a tissue from her saddlebag and wiped her nose before continuing. "And your question is?"

The stallion's face set into a neutral, yet curious expression. "What does a pony have to learn from watching the show?"

Twilight smiled. "That would be how friendship doesn't work, and what happens to those who ignore its importance." The lavender princess adopted a solemn tone as she finished. "Something I used to be guilty of myself, but am glad to have such great friends in not just the other bearers, but all of you too."

RE3 style

During the interceding time of the convention and when Twilight received the funds to put it together, she along with the script writers worked on putting the clip show together for show at HUMANcon and gauge reception which, if good, would be sufficient to proceed with Twilight's idea for the show. Both Iron Will and Spike carefully studied every notable passage of descriptive text in the trilogy and made rough sketches of the imagery described. They then fleshed out the drawings to make them more professional-looking and added in various details that sprung to mind while working.

While they did this, the remaining five script writers studied Twilight's notes and brainstormed story ideas for the pilot episodes. Several ideas were pitched to Twilight whenever she checked up on them, one of which was Lyra and Sweetie's idea of having the first few episodes center around not Warren, but his mother Elin and the events which occurred prior to his birth to result in her hardened demeanor toward him. This idea was turned down because the pilot episodes needed to give viewers an accurate representation of what the show would be like; having the central character absent from them would give everypony a false first impression. Another proposed idea would've had the pilot center around the big turning point in Warren's childhood where Elin claims his little brother Kevin acts more his age than Warren, establishing his forever standing resentment towards her. This idea was also turned down because Twilight pointed out how the Warren flesh puppet was that of a young adult human, which would be aesthetically incorrect playing the part of a seven year old child. This did, however, give Twilight the idea to make flesh puppets for younger versions of the characters in her free time, which her increasingly prevalent royal duties kept diminishing.

The pitch that Twilight ended up approving for the pilot episodes involved Warren moving from his childhood home to another one just an hour and a half away. While the character's age would be 12 at this point, and therefore still leaning toward being a child, Twilight figured she could make Warren look more that age simply by removing his facial hair. With the plot decided upon, the script writers got cracking on fleshing out the story to encompass an hour long two part pilot episode. Once completed, the script was given to Twilight who proofread and made minor adjustments wherever needed, and then sent it to the required voice actors so they could get into the roles assigned to them.

The process for recording the voices was easier than Twilight thought it would be. Whatever equipment she didn't already have was easily acquired from DELOS' management, and the quiet, secluded basement of Golden Oaks made for a perfect recording studio location. For the pilot, the following voices were required:

Big Mac = Warren (main protagonist), Daniel (Warren & Kevin's father) and Duncan (neighborhood kid that Warren befriends).

Caramel = Kevin (Warren's brother) and Jaren (friend of Duncan that Warren also befriends).

Golden Harvest = Elin (Warren & Kevin's mother).

Flitter = Unnamed receptionist for apartment complex.

Recording the voices was finished in little more than a few hours; Twilight was impressed by everypony's talent in the art, especially Big Macintosh who had to act for three separate characters whereas everypony else had no more than one or two. The only hiccup came when Caramel needed clarification on his last line of the pilot, which Twilight explained was meant to be hardcore profanity to humans, and that letting it slip was incentive for Elin to kick Jaren out of her family's house. Other than that, the recording session was smooth as silk.

The next step was to design the sets, which required the twisted talents of the reformed spirit of chaos and disharmony. Discord had only agreed to help Princess Twilight under the condition that she persuade Princess Celestia to set aside a little land for a mansion in which he could create all the chaos he wished, to which she agreed seeing no harm in such a deal. For the sets, Twilight went back to the same field which she'd been using all throughout HUMAN's production; since there wasn't too much wide open space on even terrain around Ponyville, Twilight decided to stick with what she knew would be suitable to the show's needs.

Along with Twilight and Discord came Iron Will and all the unicorn technicians she'd trained in flesh puppetry. There the group split into two teams working simultaneously to save time; Twilight and Discord made up one group and worked on constructing the sets. Twilight would haul fallen trees and rocks from the nearby Everfree Forest which Discord would use to construct the sets to match Iron Will & Spike's designs; a task that, while enjoyable, went against the core principle of chaos theory, randomness. There were no complaints about it, however, as Discord was looking forward to getting that mansion he wanted.

Meanwhile, Iron Will taught the unicorn technicians how to get the best performance from the human flesh puppets. While the minotaur hadn't the slightest clue how unicorn magic worked, Twilight had informed him such knowledge wouldn't be necessary for the job at hoof/hand. His job consisted of two tasks: 1. Act out actions for a point of reference the unicorns could follow when controlling the flesh puppets, and 2. Keep any oblivious ponies/animals from wandering onto the set and ruining the scene. Being bipedal like humans meant Iron Will was perfectly suited for the first task while his loud, intimidating voice and assertive mannerisms made the second task second nature to him.

Once the sets were designed and unicorns well-versed in acting, filming finally started. Twilight attached a crystal monocle to her eye and synched it up with her brain's visual system. The lavender princess had taken some time to practice cinematography the day before. While she was far from a master of the art, she managed to capture the puppet's actions fairly well and with few mistakes. Of course, many retakes were filmed as well, if only so Twilight and Iron Will had a nice selection to choose from when it came time to put together the clip show. As for the unicorns, Twilight could tell they'd been practicing heavily with their puppets as they controlled each human expertly and with gusto.

The biggest hurtle for them was synching the recorded voices with the flesh puppets' lips. Twilight had taught them how to make the puppets' mouths move as if really talking back during their puppetry lesson, but even with weeks of practice it was a difficult challenge to synch the recordings with the puppets' mouths. Typically, the puppeteers would need to hear the recordings several times over before being able to match them up, and even then Twilight knew upon close inspection that one would see inconsistencies. It was another reason why she recorded several alternate takes of each scene; to pick out which ones synched the best. Filming wrapped up by the end of the day, by which time everyone was exhausted. With their jobs done for the time being, everybody returned home to get some much needed food and rest. Only Iron Will didn't return home, sleeping over at Golden Oaks so as to be ready first thing in the morning with helping Twilight piece the clip show together.

The process of watching and thoroughly analyzing each and every take done for each and every scene was a challenge to sit through in and of itself. Having to squint and carefully observe every minute detail of each take was tough on the minotaur's eyes. The eye strain was made worse by the very method used to observe each take. Twilight had to modify the flashback spell so it could display each take mid-air in front of them, resulting in the image appearing grainy and a sore to look at for extended periods of time. The strain wasn't lost on Twilight's eyes, of course, but having vast amounts of magic at her disposal allowed her to heal the sores so she could stay focused. She offered to do the same for Iron Will, but the minotaur refused to 'go easy' as he called it.

It took the two of them until three in the afternoon to edit together the pilot episodes and store them onto a specially designated crystal. For the clip show, alternate takes which the two found satisfactory were used to construct a ten minute abridged version of the pilot episodes, minus background music. For music, only the actual episodes would have any, and would be done by Octavia and Vinyl Scratch. After seeing Iron Will off at the train station, his job done for the time being, Twilight immediately made arrangements for the musical mares to arrive in Ponyville so they could compose music for the pilot episodes.

When considering what kind of background music HUMAN should have, Twilight narrowed the selection down to soft, soothing classical tracks for sorrowful scenes and intense, upbeat techno tracks for more action-oriented scenes. To Twilight's chagrin, such a formula was inadequate for Octavia and Vinyl Scratch. They both told her that composing was a more complicated process than just assigning a particular style of music with a corresponding emotional response to a visual scene. This was especially true for a character driven narrative like HUMAN, they also said, where the emotions emanated by the characters were mixed more often than not and couldn't be sufficiently complimented by just one genre of music each.

But Twilight wouldn't have any of it and commanded the two mares to work together to compose this so-called 'mixed' music for HUMAN. At first, the two were hesitant to comply as their specialties were totally opposite to each other. They hadn't been informed by Twilight that the other mare had also been employed by her highness, and both had reservations about collaborating. Nevertheless, they eventually agreed to work together on HUMAN's musical score so as to please the lavender princess. With their concerns alleviated, Twilight left them to their own devices for a few days; secretly praying the whole time they didn't put together "silly trash" as she said.

When Twilight came back and listened to the tracks, she was relieved to see that both Octavia and Vinyl had done a good job of composing fitting tracks for the HUMAN pilot episodes. The two mares explained how they'd broken each episode into groups based on the tone each scene was conveying; sad, dreadful, enraging, and neutral-friendly. They then watched the scenes consecutively in order to put together a melody that would fit well and compliment each of them. For the rhythm of each scene, the two would customize it to match the intensity of the character's emotional output and/or the situation itself.

That was the whole of what Twilight understood from Octavia and Vinyl. All she cared was the music sounded great alongside both episode's visuals. Thanking the two for their hard work, she saw them off to the train station and stowed the crystals containing the completed pilot episodes in a safe place at Golden Oaks while she prepared for the upcoming convention.

"When's it on, Twi?" Applejack asked from where she sat on the library's floor.

"In about . . . five minutes," Twilight replied next to her, looking at a nearby clock.

It'd been a couple of weeks since HUMANcon. After the positive reception the clip show received at the convention, Twilight and the rest of HUMAN's production staff decided to proceed forward with what they had. Twilight sent the raw footage to DELOS who announced via commercial the time and date of HUMAN's pilot episodes. Now that said time had finally arrived, Twilight and her friends were gathered around the free Crystalvision set DELOS had sent the lavender princess, eager to watch the pilot episodes.

"Oooh oooh oooh!" Pinkie shouted while bouncing on the couch.

". . . What was that?" Rainbow asked. She was sitting right next to Pinkie on the couch with a giant bowl of popcorn, which she had to hold tight so as to keep from spilling as a result of Pinkie's wild movements.

"Silly Dashie," the party pony replied, "we're watching a show about over-dressed monkey people, so I'm getting into the spirit of watching them."

"Overdressed!?" Rarity exclaimed; unlike everypony else, she'd brought her own cushion so she didn't have to lay on the hardwood floor of Golden Oaks. "In case you've forgotten, Pinkie dear, clothes are a necessity for humans."

"All thanks to you," Rainbow stated, snickering. Rarity simply huffed and turned her nose up.

"Ummm, girls?"

"Besides, Pinkie," Twilight said, "humans are a great many steps above monkeys; they don't holler like that and swing from trees at all."

"I think we shou-"

Spike replied from where he sat on the couch. "They don't holler? Correct me if I'm wrong, Twilight, but didn't you say humans always scream and holler at sporting events and such? You know, where they don't wear shirts?"

"It's-"

"I . . . did say that," Twilight replied, blushing a little. "But still, they don't swing from trees."

"Except when they-"

"HEY!!!"

Everyone turned to Fluttershy, who was sitting on the only remaining space of the couch. She quickly hid behind her mane at the sudden attention.

"What is it, darling?" Rarity asked.

The timid pegasus pointed a hoof at the clock. "It's on right now."

Twilight turned her head to the clock to see that, indeed, the time had come for HUMAN's pilot episodes to begin. Swiftly, the lavender alicorn used her magic to turn on the C.V. in front of them and tune it to the proper frequency.

She was just in time, for HUMAN's intro sequence was nearing its end. The six mares and dragon watched as Warren Zaccaro ascended the stairs of what was presumably his house. The shot followed him right and down a short hallway to the door at the very end. Opening it revealed what was clearly a bedroom, as indicated by the queen-sized bed up against the wall straight in front of the door. The shot followed Warren right again, which revealed a white desk with a swivel chair that Warren sat down upon. On the desk was a black computer setup with other miscellaneous stuff scattered about the desk.

Rainbow Dash grabbed some popcorn and stuffed it into her mouth. So, that's command control for eggheads.

After turning on the computer, the scene showed Warren fiddling with the keyboard while different images flashed across the C.V. screen. These images showed mostly what looked to be flashbacks from Warren's life, as younger versions of him were prevalent throughout them. Finally, the shot zoomed in on what Warren was typing on the computer screen.

HUMAN: The Crystalvision Series

~15 minutes later~

At the first commercial break, Twilight turned to her friends. "So, what do you think of it so far?" she asked, grinning in anticipation.

"Meh, it's not as awesome as me," Rainbow commented, shrugging. "But I'll admit, it's entertaining to say the least."

Applejack shook her head. "Ah think it's mighty strange how the intra showed Warren havin' his own room, but the episode showed he shared a bedroom with his little brother."

"Oh, about that," Twilight replied. "The intro is actually depicting future events in the show, specifically around where the books ended."

"Speaking of Warren's room," Rarity said, "I find it particularly wasteful how he's got a bed fit for two when it's clear he doesn't sleep with anyone."

"That's just how Discord designed it," Twilight replied again. "Ask him if you want answers for why it's so big."

"That's what she said," Pinkie said, throwing her hooves up in the air. Everybody just looked at her in confusion until Fluttershy spoke up.

"Maybe he's waiting for his special somepo- err, somebody."

Everybody retrained their confused stares on the timid pegasus, who just retreated into her mane.

"Anyway," Spike said, breaking the awkward tension, "the commercials are almost over; let's stay focused on watching the show."

~16 minutes later~

"Well, that's the end of episode one," Twilight stated. She stood up and stretched a bit to which everybody followed her example. "What'd you think of the whole thing?"

"Like I said before," Rainbow replied, "it was entertaining, but not as awesome as me." She reached for some more popcorn but realized it'd all been eaten. Not wanting to miss the second episode, she sped into the kitchen and grabbed another bag of popcorn. "Hey, Spike, a little help please!?"

"Coming," the baby drake announced, and scurried into the kitchen after her.

"So, sugarcube," Applejack said, "what's the next episode gonna be like?" Everypony present turned to the lavender alicorn with eager grins on their faces.

Twilight sighed. "C'mon girls, I don't wanna spoil the episode for you."

"We're not asking for that, darling," Rarity proclaimed. "We're merely curious as to what direction the next part will go in, aren't we girls?"

Everypony nodded in unison. Twilight scuffled her hooves across the floor and looked downcast. After a few awkward moments of staring at her hooves, she returned her gaze to them all.

"Let's just say," she said, "it doesn't end very happily."

Everypony frowned in response. Before more could be said, however, Rainbow Dash and Spike came back into the room, Rainbow carrying a filled popcorn bowl. "Hey girls," she said, both her and Spike taking their seats on the couch. "Did we miss anything?"

At that moment, the HUMAN intro began playing on the C.V. "Guess not," Spike answered, and began watching the intro. Everypony followed suit, the frowns never leaving most of their faces.

~30 minutes later~

As soon as the second episode ended, Twilight shut off the C.V. and turned to her friends. The expressions on their faces ranged from shocked, to disgusted, and in Spike's case (as he already knew what was going to happen) neutrality.

"Well, that's the pilot," she said to them. "What'd you thi-"

"What just happened?" Applejack interrupted.

"What do you mean?" Twilight asked.

"I believe she's referring to that ending, dear," Rarity replied, "of which I must concur; what just happened?"

"Oh, well, Jaren got kicked out of their house for speaking foul language." Twilight shrugged. "Anyone would do what Elin did."

"Jaren seemed so nice," Fluttershy whispered, barely audible to everyone else.

"He was," Pinkie stated. "He just let a bad word slip past his tongue in a bout of frustration; it happens all the time."

"Anyway," Applejack said, having patiently waited for a chance to speak again, "Ah find it a mite disconcertin' jus' how overbearin' Warren's parents seemed ta be."

"Don't you remember my vignette in HUMANS?" Twilight replied. "I went into a fair amount of detail explaining Warren's home life and what his parents were like."

"Ah do, sugarcube," AJ replied, "but it's 'a whole different thin' seein' it happen in front o' me than jus' readin' 'bout it."

"Such is the power of Crystalvision," Twilight replied again, this time with a coy smile. She took a moment to look at the clock before continuing. "Well, I think it's about time we all went to bed; thanks again for coming over."

Everypony else nodded sagely and got up to leave. Once they were all gone, Twilight and Spike put the couch back in its proper place and brought the C.V. upstairs so it wouldn't disrupt peace in the library. After tucking Spike into bed, Twilight made her way back downstairs. She used her telekinesis to levitate a couple of scrolls from the center table and over to her. She then unfurled them both and began reading them.

Princess Celestia had sent both scrolls to her earlier that day, but with all the excitement of HUMAN's pilot episodes finally airing she hadn't gotten around to reading them. She'd already guessed both were from Celestia's never ending stack of royal paperwork and that the solar alicorn was having Twilight fill it out to make her job a little easier. Looking at them now, Twilight could see that she was half right; one of the scrolls was indeed from the fabled 'mountain of mind cramps'. The other one, however, was a simple letter without a return address. Curious, Twilight began reading it.

Dear Princess Twilight,

It's great to see you taking your new royal duties in stride and not panicking about it every five minutes like the mare you once were. I imagine leading the production of HUMAN has helped you to hone your already strong leadership skills by a considerable amount, which is good for a budding young princess such as yourself; you need all the experience you can get. To be perfectly honest with you, I thought Princess Celestia was crazy when I first heard of her decision to grant you ascension, given your history of over-paranoia and obsessive-compulsiveness. While I still think you suffer from both, I can also see you've learned how to keep either from spiraling out of control and causing harm to anypony else.

Before you start asking yourself who I am, just know that it was I who sent you that painting of Warren. I did it to test your perceptive and inspirational skills and how well you make do with what you're given, which is something any leader of anything must be able to do efficiently. While I have yet to see the results of your hard work on HUMAN's adaptation, from what I've heard in the grapevine it sounds as if you've put together something truly magnificent to the eye. I look forward to watching the pilot episodes tonight and seeing the results of you and your staff's hard work. Until then, consider this test a success on your part.

Best wishes,

WUL2K

Twilight stared at the letter with a mixture of both confusion and distress. She really didn't know how to feel about the letter, considering its anonymous nature. As far as this so-called 'test' was concerned, while Twilight was grateful to have received the painting the only tests she accepted were those given to her by Princess Celestia and no one else. Whoever this 'WUL2K' was, they wouldn't be earning any favors from her by being weird and secretive.

I'll play it safe tonight and cast a shield spell around the library.

With that out of the way, Twilight put the letter away and began reading Celestia's paperwork, eager to finish it as quickly as possible so as to get plenty of sleep. While reading, however, something which she'd been lightly wondering for the past few days was retrieved from the dark corners of her psyche, complete thanks to the anonymous letter.

With all of my new responsibilities as a princess, do I still have a future with HUMAN?

Author's Note

Nearing the end here folks.

Finishing one's course

Give Manehattan funds for renovating its Trough section to be more inhabitable? Yes, definitely. Increase the income tax for private enterprises that have operated for more than 50 years? Is that supposed to ensure they can't hoard too many bits over time? Whatever; yes. Lift all current tariffs on gem imports? Is the situation in Hiddenite really so bad that they have to threaten them with increased reliance on foreign competition? Alright sure, if it gets those miners off their rumps and working hard. Add one hour of night-

"Hey, Twilight!?"

The lavender princess was snapped from her thoughts by the sound of Spike calling from downstairs.

"Yes, Spike!?" she called back.

"Everybody's waiting for you outside!" The sound of the library's front door opening sounded. "C'mon!"

Twilight turned to her stack of Day Court requests that Celestia sent to her just that morning. She'd only been able to work through about one fourth of the stack before HUMAN's production staff was to leave for Ghastly Gorge to shoot the three part season finale. Knowing Celestia needed the papers back before nightfall, Twilight decided she'd have to take the stack with her and complete it whilst shooting what had been dubbed the "Canyonlands Arc".

Levitating over her saddlebag, Twilight stuffed in the remaining papers and slung it over her shoulder. "I'm coming!" she called down.

"Iron Will can't be made to wait much longer!" shouted the minotaur.

Twilight hurriedly descended the stairs. After grabbing a croissant from the kitchen counter she slipped through the front door. Waiting outside, and looking very impatient was HUMAN's entire principal production staff with the addition of Lyra and Fluttershy. Lyra was tagging along to see firsthoof the puppeteers at work so she could learn how to control human flesh puppets herself. Fluttershy, however, was needed by the production crew, as many parts of the finale had various animals (squirrels especially) present in the background.

"Alright," Twilight said, "is everybody ready?"

"Been ready for some time," Lyra said, eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah, sorry." Twilight blushed and rubbed the back of her head with a forehoof. "Princess Celestia sent me a whole bunch of Day Court request documents just this morning, which she needs filled out and sent back by tonight."

"Celestia seems to be scraping off more of her workload onto you recently," Spike mused.

"As is typical of her," Discord stated. Everyone glared at him, to which the draconequus rolled his eyes. "It's true; when was the last time she bothered using her own time and power to resolve problems you ponies caused?"

"Well," spoke up one of the unicorn puppeteers, "there was that time Fillydelphia got invaded by parasprites."

Discord rolled his eyes again. "I mean AFTER Twilight's coronation."

". . . Okay, you've got me."

"Anyway," Twilight spoke up, to which everyone returned their attention to her, "since I'll be busy completing these documents today, I'm going to need some extra help keeping everything running smoothly and on schedule."

"Good thing I showed up then," Lyra said, smiling wide.

"And I thank you," Twilight replied. She walked to the front of the group and pointed in the direction of Ghastly Gorge. "Off we go!"

Ghastly Gorge, as its name implied, held the distinction of being one of Equestria's most dangerous sights. Everything from the loose rocks, thorn brambles, and quarry eels ensured the canyon never saw use as a tourist destination. The last time it'd played host to visitors, in fact, was when Rainbow Dash used it as the location for the race with which to finally determine her pet. Ever since then, Ghastly Gorge has remained barren and lifeless . . .

"Come on!" Iron Will shouted. "Keep moving!"

. . . until now.

"We're going as fast as we can!" shouted a unicorn from further back in the line.

The whole of HUMAN's production staff was marching down a winding slope leading into Ghastly Gorge. At the front of the line was Twilight, using her magic to fill out Day Court requests while sparing glances in front to make sure she didn't walk off the edge. Next to her was Spike who held said requests as she picked from them; he stuffed each one into her saddlebag upon completion. Immediately behind them were Fluttershy, Discord, and a family of (very angry) squirrels. Apparently, the papa squirrel had been victimized by Discord when the latter was released from his stone prison for the last time, to which he and his family were verbally berating the draconequus who merely blew raspberries at them while Fluttershy attempted (futilely) to play peacekeeper.

Behind them was Lyra who levitated a human puppet in her magic, trying her hoof at puppet manipulation to no avail. Every time she tried moving one of the puppet's limbs with her magic it almost immediately flopped uselessly back into place. Twilight would've offered to give the mint green unicorn some rudimentary puppetry lessons, but the overload of Day Court requests combined with the task of shooting the season finale of HUMAN was already enough for the lavender princess to bear; taking anything else onto her plate would be mental suicide.

Last in line were Iron Will and all the unicorn puppeteers. The energetic minotaur was hauling a couple dozen human puppets on his back while the unicorns carried only one each. The one in front also carried a saddlebag containing the crystal monocle to use for filming the episodes, as well as several spare crystals and a dual landmarked/topographical map of Ghastly Gorge. Every time Iron Will turned around and saw even one unicorn falling behind the rest he'd shout at them to pick up the pace; it was as if the minotaur was a drill instructor and the unicorns were his troops marching into conflict. It was a good analogy as filming the finale would end their long and arduous battle of completing HUMAN's first season, with the only difference being this battle wasn't life-threatening. At least, up until this point it wasn't.

The lead unicorn puppeteer slung his puppet across his back before using his magic to pull the map of Ghastly Gorge out of his saddlebag which he brought up to his face to read. Giving it a quick once-over, he frowned slightly.

"STOP!" he shouted.

The entire procession immediately stopped; some of the unicorns took the opportunity to sit down and rest. Iron Will gently set down his load of puppets and turned sharply to the unicorn with narrowed eyes. "What's the problem now?"

The unicorn paid him no mind and instead galloped down the hill to the front of the line. Upon reaching Twilight, who was still busy filling out Day Court requests, he stopped and floated the map over to her.

"Prin- err, boss," he said, "you might want to take a look at this."

"In a minute," Twilight replied, batting the map away. She continued reading the next request.

"This is important," the unicorn insisted. He floated the map in front of Twilight's eyes. "Look where it says-"

"I said 'in a minute'," Twilight replied, her tone very commanding. "I promise I'm almost done reading this document."

The unicorn sighed and sat on his haunches to wait. Only a few seconds later, however, a voice from behind shouted, "What's the hold up!?"

He turned around to see Lyra walking down towards them. The human puppet she'd been fiddling with before sat on her back with both legs hanging down either side of her barrel and its arms hanging over her shoulders. It's head was propped up against her neck, but kept slipping off and rolling off to the side to which Lyra would use her magic to realign it. Lyra herself wore a concerned expression which clearly conveyed how desperate she was to see the HUMAN finale being shot ASAP.

"What's going on here?" Lyra asked the unicorn once she reached him.

He floated the map in front of Lyra's face. "The route we're on to reach the designated shooting area is guarded by Quarry Eels. We need to find an alternate route if we want to stay safe."

Lyra took the map in her magic and squinted her eyes at the topographical side of the map before comparing it to the regular side. Sure enough, the path they were currently taking led them across a cliff which was laden with Quarry Eel burrows. Sticking to the planned path would put them directly in the mountain burrowers' line of sight, spelling doom for them if the overgrown worms were hungry.

Lyra turned her head to Twilight, who'd just finished with the latest Day Court request and was stretching her body to relieve some aches. "Twilight?" she asked the lavender princess in a deadpan tone.

The sound of joints popping back into place reached everyone's ears. "Ooh, that feels good." Twilight returned Lyra and the unicorn's collective gaze and smiled. "Sorry about that. Now, what'd you want Mr. Cob?"

"Please, call me Boco," the unicorn requested, then pointed at the map still in Lyra's grasp. "And what I wanted was to point out how we're heading straight into a collection of Quarry Eel burrows by following this path."

Twilight tilted her head in confusion. "Are you sure?"

Lyra turned the map around so Twilight could see it. "He's right, boss; we'll be sitting ducks if we stick to this route."

Twilight took a moment to examine the map before a bright crimson adorned her cheeks. "Uh . . . oops?"

She felt a sharp tap on her leg and looked down-left to see Spike staring up at her disapprovingly. "You didn't actually study the map before deciding on a route, did you?"

Twilight's blush deepened as she felt the collective deadpans of three persons bearing down on her. She scuffled her hoof across the dirt and replied. "I guess Celestia's workload had me too distracted." She chuckled nervously.

Lyra, Boco, and Spike collectively face hoofed/palmed in response. Boco then took a moment to rub his temples before sighing in exasperation. "Well, all aside, we'll need to find another route to our shooting location if we want to come out of here alive."

"Agreed," Spike said. "And we'll also need to steer clear of any and all brambles or avalanche zones."

The other three nodded in response. Lyra turned the map back around to examine it, to which Boco frowned. "You know what you're doing?" he asked.

Lyra looked up to him and smiled. "I need to earn my keep here. Otherwise, I'd be nothing more than dead weight."

Boco stared blankly before a sly smirk graced his face. "In that case," he slid off his saddlebag and presented it to her, "you can carry the recording crystals."

Lyra squealed and added the saddlebag to her telekinetic grip. Boco then cantered back up the hill toward his place in line, leaving behind a beaming mint green unicorn, a befuddled baby purple dragon, and a deadpanned lavender princess. Twilight let out an exasperated sigh and looked to Lyra. "Do you know how to read maps?"

Lyra settled down and waved a dismissive hoof. "I just proved I could by affirming Boco's claim." She took a moment to lift up her human puppet so she could slip Boco's saddlebag over her shoulder before setting the puppet back down onto her back. "Don't worry, Twilight, I can and will find us safe passage through here."

Twilight wasn't entirely convinced, but she figured Lyra would at least stay focused on the map and not get distracted like she'd been that morning before they left. "Okay, Lyra," she said with a small smile, "I'll trust you." She stepped aside. "Why don't you take the lead?"

Lyra nodded eagerly and trotted out in front, the map held out next to her face so she could easily switch her gaze between it and the ground ahead of her. Twilight turned to everyone behind her. "Move on!" she shouted.

Everyone who'd been resting stood up and stretched before continuing onwards. Twilight turned to Spike. "Next document," she said.

Spike picked the top one and handed it to her, to which she resumed carrying out her royal duties.

Fluttershy stood on a patch of embankment looking up along the canyon walls of Ghastly Gorge. A pang of fear shot through her nerves as she took in the sight of such tall and imposing rock formations millions of years old, any of which could easily come loose and topple down onto her with just the slightest tremor.

"Come now, Fluttershy," Discord said from behind her. "There's no reason to be afraid of some overgrown rocks."

Fluttershy turned around to see the draconequus laid in a lounge chair wearing typical tourist apparel; straw hat, floral clothes, and comically oversized sunglasses. Next to him was a table upon which sat a glass of chocolate milk with a cotton candy cloud floating above it, ready to refill the glass at a moment's notice. He patted another lounge chair which sat directly next to his.

"Lay down and relax," he continued. "We only have so much time to do so before Sparkplug and Lyr-what's-her-name need our services."

Fluttershy spared one last glance at the cliff before shakily trotting back to him and laying in the other lounge chair. Discord snapped his talon to produce a glass of Sweet Apple Cider for the timid pegasus, which she immediately accepted and began guzzling it down. Finishing it off, she hoofed him back the glass.

"Thanks, Disco-*burp*."

The draconequus pulled down his sunglasses to look in surprise at the butterscotch pegasus whose cheeks went red in embarrassment. After a few moments of silence, Discord burst out laughing.

"Oh, Fluttershy," Discord said once he'd regained composure, "is there anything you don't do soft?"

Fluttershy's nervously giggled. "Well, I sup-"

"Lost interest," Discord interrupted, and laid his head down onto the chair's headrest.

Fluttershy sighed in exasperation before following suite, flinging her mane off to one side of the chair before settling her head down.

The group had reached their desired shooting location for the HUMAN finale; they were currently waiting for Celestia's sun to rise over the canyon walls of Ghastly Gorge so as to provide ideal natural lighting conditions. True to her word, Lyra had safely navigated them around the Quarry Eel's haven by taking them along a lower pass, closer to the canyon floor. It'd taken a bit longer to reach the shooting location than was originally predicted, but tardiness was ostensibly preferable to being digested in a Quarry Eel's stomach. Upon arriving at the site, Lyra returned Boco's saddlebag to him and resumed practicing with her human puppet.

Boco himself, in addition to every other unicorn puppeteer as well as Iron Will, took it upon themselves to scout out the cliffs they were to shoot a majority of the finale's scenes at and around, making sure no hostilities were present. Twilight and Rainbow Dash had flown to Ghastly Gorge several days before to find a suitable filming location based on Dash's familiarity with the infamous locale and Twilight's visions of what the finale's setting looked like. The area they'd chosen was nestled against a cliff face on the east most side of the gorge, far away from any known Quarry Eel burrows, brambles, or avalanche zones. Still, the production crew felt it wise to check the area for themselves; not because they doubted Twilight's judgment (though, her earlier mishap called it into question regardless) but because doing so made them feel safer.

As for the lavender princess herself, she and Spike were still at work filling out Celestia's Day Court requests. Even after working on them non-stop since letting Lyra lead the group, the two of them still had just a little less then half the stack to complete before being done. At one point Spike suggested to Twilight she should put the documents aside until after everything was set up, but the lavender alicorn insisted that their time waiting for Celestia's sun to rightly position was better spent getting her royal workload taken care of.

By the time the sun shined over the cliffs, Twilight had managed to complete all but one third of the stack. Grumbling, she hurriedly finished up the one she was currently reading and began directing the group.

"Okay, time to set up, everyone!"

Everyone dropped whatever they were doing and stood at attention.

"Iron Will," Twilight continued, motioning toward him, "are you and the puppeteers ready?"

"Iron Will's as ready as he'll ever be," he replied with pride, then turned to the unicorns. "As are they, right?"

The unicorns all nodded with smiles. Twilight nodded to herself, then started to make way toward Discord and Fluttershy when Lyra stopped her. "What can I do?" she asked excitedly.

Twilight rubbed her chin for a moment before turning back to the puppetry team in thought. Nodding to herself again, she pointed a hoof to them and spoke.

"Why don't you ask them if they'll teach you how to better manipulate human puppets?"

With a beaming smile, Lyra galloped over to the group. Twilight gave a small smile and rolled her eyes at the mint green unicorn's overenthusiasm before walking over to Discord and Fluttershy.

"Are the squirrels ready?" Twilight asked the butterscotch pegasus.

Fluttershy nodded slowly. The family of squirrels, finally tired of berating Discord, jumped for joy in response.

"And are you ready, Discord?" Twilight asked, turning to the draconequus.

"Indeed I am, princess." He flexed his mismatched hands and cracked a few joints in his back. "Now let's get this over with so I can get back to lounging."

"Don't get too comfortable." Twilight flapped her wings and stared him at eye level. "We'll be needing your services all day today and tomorrow, so don't start lollygagging every other minute."

Discord waved a dismissive paw and replied. "Changing the cliff face won't take more than ten seconds."

Twilight smiled mischievously. "Is that so?" She used her magic to summon the blueprints for Set Design - Mesa Verde.

Discord grabbed the parchment and scrutinized it. Upon completion, he looked Twilight square in the eye with furrowed brows. "You can't be serious." He gave the parchment back.

"What?" Twilight replied defensively. "Afraid you can't do it in ten seconds flat?"

To the surprise of Twilight, Fluttershy and the squirrels, Discord merely chuckled. "On the contrary, actually; I was thinking you'd provide a greater challenge." He looked up to the cliff face and cupped his mismatched hands together around his mouth. "How's it going up there!?" he shouted.

"What're you-" Twilight's stopped herself mid-sentence as she followed Discord's gaze, her jaw going slack and eyes widening like dinner plates. Fluttershy and the squirrel's followed suite, and reacted accordingly.

Whereas no more than a minute ago the cliff face was as flat and indistinguishable from the rest of its length around the gorge, now it was shaped according to the designs drawn on the parchment held in Discord's grasp. At least, the Discord in front of the two mares and squirrel family; up on the cliff face, wearing construction hats and operating various tools were around a dozen or so Discord clones.

One of the clones looked up from what he was doing and down at the original. "Should be done in seven seconds flat, boss!" it announced.

"Thank you, me!" Discord shouted back, and turned back to Twilight. "Can I go back to lounging now?"

"Bu- wha- how di- you ca- . . ." Twilight did her breathing exercise, then she sighed in defeat. "Sure, go ahead."

"Excellent!" Discord shouted in joy. He jumped back into his lounge chair and conjured a reflector. A couple of seconds later, he snapped his talon to make his clones, now finished with their work, disappear in a bright flash.

Twilight took a moment to inspect the cliff face. Satisfied that it matched the design to a T, she undid the summoning spell and turned to Fluttershy. "Have the squirrels ready on set in five minutes," she instructed her.

Fluttershy saluted, and began dictating the squirrel's scripted paths to take when filming commenced; they weren't allowed to interact with the human puppets, only run away from them. Twilight left them and began trotting over to Iron Will's group.

A little over halfway there, she noticed Lyra was fiddling with something around her eye. Upon closer inspection, she realized the mint green unicorn was wearing one of the crystal monocles and, apparently using it, if the bright green aura which matched her coat was anything to go by. At one point, Lyra turned her head toward Twilight and hurriedly galloped over to her.

"Twilight! Twilight!" she shouted, skidding to a halt in front of the surprised princess. "Can I operate the recording crystal for a few scenes, please?"

Twilight stared in utter silence as her brain attempted to process all of what she just said. With yet another use of her calming technique, she collected her thoughts and gave a response. "What happened to the human puppetry lesson?"

Lyra looked downcast and scuffled a hoof across the dirt. "I really wanted to give it a try, but they said it'd be pointless as they don't need anymore puppeteers." A smile adorned her face as she pointed at the crystal monocle she was wearing over her right eye. "They gave me this out of pity, but I've found it FAR easier to use then the human puppets." She activated her magic on the crystal, in turn activating its image-capture qualities.

Twilight watched as Lyra turned her head around, stopping to observe several points of interest around the area: Iron Will acting out motions for the unicorn puppeteers, Fluttershy and Discord sharing a laugh over who-knows-what, Spike belching out a stack of parch- wait a minute!

"Spike, what are those!?" Twilight called, dreading the probable answer. The baby dragon glanced in her direction and motioned for her to come over. She sighed in exasperation, then turned to Lyra. "Alright, you can operate the crystal monocle."

Lyra began a squeal of excitement before Twilight shoved a hoof in her mouth. "If you have any trouble whatsoever with operating it, have Boco or somepony else help out, okay?"

Lyra nodded in understanding. Twilight smiled as she retracted her hoof. "Make me proud, kid," she said, suppressing a giggle at her choice of words.

"Sure thing, boss," Lyra replied and, with a salute, galloped off to Iron Will's group. Twilight used a wing to wave her off before trotting toward Spike, blanching at the thought of dealing with even MORE paperwork.

Nighttime in Ghastly Gorge was, surprisingly, much calmer and more peaceful than during the day. Perhaps the fact that the tall, imposing cliffs could not be seen at night made it easier to not worry about being crushed by an avalanche; out of sight, out of mind and all that. Additionally, the Quarry Eels were inactive at night, so there was no need to worry about becoming a midnight snack when relieving oneself. As such, the HUMAN production crew took comfort in setting up camp underneath an overhang of rocks at the bottom of the gorge; should an avalanche occur, they'd be safe.

They'd spent all day shooting the Mesa Verde portion of the show's three-part finale. Tomorrow they would move onto shooting the Grand Canyon portion, with the next day being Bryce Canyon, Zion National Park the next, and finally Meteor Crater on the last day before filming wrapped up and editing the footage began. All of said footage was shot by Lyra while Twilight finished off the Day Court requests Celestia had sent her. To everyone's slight surprise, the mint green unicorn managed to film each and every scene with little to no trouble. Aside from a couple of times where the crystal monocle came loose while active, every shot she filmed came out crisp, clear, and perfectly showcased the action of each scene.

This was clear to Twilight as she sat in her tent and repeatedly reviewed the footage with a critical eye, looking for any imperfections in the cinematography. In the tent with her were Fluttershy and Spike, both deep asleep in their sleeping bags. The family of squirrels Fluttershy brought were nestled next to her, using the pegasus' long, pink mane as a makeshift pillow. Twilight did her best to keep quiet while she reviewed the footage, but the sound of her tent's zipper opening gave her a start and she let out a brief squeak of fright. Thankfully, no one was jostled from their sleep, and Twilight watched as the tent's flap opened and Lyra stuck her head through.

"Yo, boss, you awake?" she whispered.

Twilight furrowed her brows. "Yes, Lyra, I'm awake, and I could've accidently woken up everyone else in here with your unannounced visit."

A deep blush adorned Lyra's cheeks. "I couldn't sleep." She focused on the crystal monocle over Twilight's right eye. Putting two and two together, Lyra beamed, but kept her voice low. "Did I do a good job, boss?'

Twilight removed the crystal and placed it into Boco's saddlebag next to hers in the corner of the tent. Then she sighed, and looked Lyra solemnly in the eyes. "We need to talk, Lyra. Outside."

Lyra stared blankly before nodding and stepping aside so Twilight could exit the tent. She took a moment to stretch her legs and wings before gingerly stepping outside. She motioned toward a couple of rocks which the tent had been pitched next to. Lyra nodded in understanding and followed the alicorn over to them. They both sat down on their own (Lyra sitting as a human would, on her rump and with her hindlegs in front) and faced each other.

"So, what's on your mind, boss?" Lyra asked.

Twilight looked downcast for a moment before replying. "Something which I've known would come for a while now, but dreaded it nonetheless." She turned away solemnly, not sure how Lyra would react to what she was about to say. "It's time for me to leave HUMAN's production."

Silence descended upon the pair for several seconds. Twilight could only imagine the look on Lyra's face as she tried to digest what she'd just been told. When she did reply, Twilight could sense a hint of concern in her words.

"Why would you do that?"

Twilight turned back to Lyra to see her face was indeed set into an expression of concern. She hated distressing her friends like this, but Twilight knew she had to tell somepony sooner or later. Twilight sighed, and looked Lyra square in the eyes with furrowed brows that clearly conveyed how dead set on her claim she was.

"Lyra, I know this may come as a shock to you," she said, tone completely sincere, "but think about it realistically." She took a moment to unfurl her wings. "Ever since I ascended, both Celestia and Luna have been counting on me to help them rule over Equestria as a third wheel. Lately, my royal duties have been escalating in prevalence, like what you saw today with all those Day Court requests."

Lyra nodded with a snort. "Really cuts into your social life, doesn't it?

Twilight giggled. "It's funny, because Celestia sent me to Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship so I'd be ready for ascension. Now that I've ascended, I've had increasingly less time to spend hanging out with all the friends I've made since then."

Lyra chortled in response. "Kinda defeats the purpose, doesn't it?"

Twilight chortled herself. "I know, right?" They both took a moment to recompose themselves and Twilight retracted her wings. "Still, though, my royal duties are picking up in earnest which means I've got less time for other things, such as being HUMAN's showrunner. Once the finale is shot and completed, I'll be stepping down from my perch."

Lyra looked downcast, to which Twilight smiled softly and lifted her chin with a hoof. "But there's no need to worry, Lyra; it won't be the end of the show."

Lyra returned her gaze with a confused expression. "How so? Who's going to replace you?"

At this, Twilight smiled mischievously and rolled her eyes upwards in mock contemplation. "It'd have to be someone fully dedicated to working on the show. Someone without anything better to do, and knows the world of HUMAN second best to myself." At this, Twilight put a hoof to her chin and scrunched her face, pretending to think really hard. "Perhaps someone with a mint green coat, golden eyes, and whom envisioned humans as having created ponykind as a way of selling toys to little girls?"

Lyra stared blankly before her eyes went wide as saucers and she pointed a hoof to Twilight. "You," she pointed to herself, "want me," to where everyone else's tents were located, "to take charge of the show?"

Twilight smiled wryly. "Well, yeah. I mean, you're most well-suited for the job in my stead." She looked shyly away. "But, I'll understand if you don't want to-OOOH!"

Twilight cried in surprise as Lyra leapt at her and wrapped her fore hooves around the alicorn's neck. The startled princess almost fell onto her side from the force of impact, but managed to stay balanced by using her magic to levitate herself upright. She took a moment to calm herself before addressing Lyra whose face was buried in her shoulder.

"I take it you want to?" She giggled.

Lyra looked into her eyes with her own, teary ones. "Thank you so much, Twilight."

Twilight smiled and patted her back. "You're welcome, Lyra."

The two friends stayed in each other's embrace for what felt like hours, but was only a couple minutes. When they finally broke away, Twilight looked at Lyra with a determined, yet happy gaze. "Now, let's get some rest; we've got some long days ahead of us."

Lyra nodded. "I agree."

And with that, the two headed toward their respective tents to sleep.

Passing the baton

"Wow," Scootaloo said, slack-jawed in awe, "that was the most amazing thing ever!" Looking to her friends and seeing the coy smiles on their faces, she quickly coughed into her hoof and inspected it disinterestedly. "I mean, it's second only to anything and everything Rainbow Dash does."

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure Scoots." She returned her gaze to the C.V. in her living room. "Anyway, that was only the first part. Accordin' ta Twilight, there's gonna be two more parts ta this 'ere finale."

"Rarity told me that Lyra told her that it takes a lot of magic to put these episodes together," Sweetie commented. She looked up at her horn and furrowed her brows in concentration. "Hmm, I wonder . . ."

"Whatcha thinkin' 'bout Sweets?" Apple Bloom asked the unicorn filly.

"Maybe I can join the HUMAN production staff as a human puppeteer or something?" Sweetie tried channeling a little magic through her horn, only to have it sputter after a few moments. She sighed. "Never mind; I still haven't quite mastered it."

"Meh," Scootaloo said, waving a dismissive hoof, "HUMAN is more fun to watch than work for." She returned her gaze to the Crystalvision screen. "Speaking of which, the second part is starting up now."

Just then the front door opened and Applejack entered. "WHOO-we!" she exclaimed. "Workin' hard never felt so much like hardly workin' 'fore today." She stretched a bit before walking into the living room and seeing the Cutie Mark Crusaders watching the Crystalvision. "Hey sis, what'cha watchin'?"

"SHH!" Apple Bloom exclaimed. "Canyonlands part two is startin' up."

Applejack arched an eyebrow and gazed at the C.V. Immediately, she recognized what Apple Bloom was referring to. Well Ah'll be . . .

Applejack took a seat next to her sister and the four of them watched as the episode's intro played out. Warren Zaccaro and his family were driving along a dirt road winding up a very tall mountain that was lacking in vegetation. The road had a steep incline and the height at which they were driving meant that one wrong move would send the car careening over the side of the mountain. Inside the car, Warren had a look of resentment mixed with a slight hint of fear visible on his face. His brother, Kevin, looked more or less neutral while their parents, Dan and Elin, had focused expressions as they stared at the road in front of them.

Eventually, the shot faded to an overhead view of the car pulling up into a parking lot, with a sign nearby that read "Four Corners". The intro then ended and was followed by the HUMAN opening sequence. Applejack took the opportunity to talk.

"Alrigh', fill me in on all of what happened in part one," she said to the three fillies.

Sweetie Belle pursed her lips in thought as she tried to recall all of what happened. "Well, Warren and his family boarded the plane heading west to-"

"Wait, hold up," Applejack interrupted. "What's a 'plane'?"

"You know, those things humans use to fly around since they don't have wings," Scootaloo said.

"'Cause y'all are one ta talk," Apple Bloom said, smirking.

"Why you little-"

"Hey now, girls!" Applejack got between them before they could start fighting. "No roughhousin' in the house, y'all hear?"

"Yes," both AB and Scoots droned.

"Good." Applejack turned to Sweetie Belle. "Go on."

Sweetie nodded, and continued. "They landed in Las Vegas, and the first thing they saw after exiting the plane was slot machines in the waiting lobby. Then-"

"Slot machines?" Applejack interrupted again.

"Yes, sis," Apple Bloom groaned. "As in, those things humans use ta gamble away money in hopes of strikin' it rich."

". . . Of course."

"Anyway," Sweetie Belle continued, wanting to finish before the show started up again, "they went to lots of places like a bird sanctuary, Mesa Verde, the Grand Can-"

"Mesa Verde? What the heck's that-"

"What the hay, sis!?" Apple Bloom shouted, causing everypony else to flinch and fold their ears back. "Y'all helped create humans yerself! Why don't ya know this stuff already?"

Applejack got over her shock and gave her little sister a soft gaze. "Ah helped Twi an' the others create 'em, sure, but this," she pointed to the Crystalvision, still showing the (admittedly long) HUMAN intro sequence, "Ah didn't have any helpin' hoof in makin', so Ah don't rightly know what's added or changed from the books." She hung her head in slight shame. "Though, Ah suppose it would've helped if'n Ah'd kept up with the show after the premiere."

"Well whatever," Apple Bloom said, rolling her eyes. "Ah don't know what a 'Verde' is either; maybe y'all should ask Twilight."

"Eh, Ah don't need ta know that bad," Applejack finished, and turned her gaze back to the C.V. to watch the show proper which was starting up.

Sweetie Belle turned to Apple Bloom and whispered, "Why didn't Applejack help with the show?"

Apple Bloom grimaced, then whispered back, "Mah sis was still a little peeved over what happened to her at DELOS' resort. The last thing she would'a done is work fer the company, but she's over it now."

"Good to know," Sweetie Belle responded before both turned their gazes back to the C.V. to watch the show.

For the next half hour, the four girls watched the second part of "Canyonlands" in awed silence. Seeing the central characters travel throughout the titular region, visiting many different locations and attractions, in addition to experiencing many minor yet humorous setbacks was undoubtedly quite entertaining for the four of them. There were many times when Applejack saw something on-screen which she didn't recognize from the HUMAN book trilogy, but didn't question the girls so as to not interrupt the show.

"Well, that sure was somethin' special," Applejack stated once the second part finished and the commercials started.

"I liked the part where they fell into that speed trap," Scootaloo stated. "It was funny in that so-ridiculous-and-stupid-it-makes-you-laugh way."

"I don't know," Sweetie Belle said, her tone unsure, "it seemed awfully unfair to be accused of speeding through that 'town'."

"Ah agree with Sweetie," Apple Bloom stated. "If'n that officer thinks a couple a' buildings qualifies as a 'town' then he oughta get a reality check."

Applejack looked to all the fillies. "Girls, it's just a show; no need ta get all riled up over such a thin'."

"Doesn't make it any less unfair, though," Apple Bloom muttered under her breath.

Applejack just smiled and rolled her eyes. Scootaloo spoke up again. "The part I don't get is why that squirrel was so brazen as to hop up on Warren's lap; the books made it clear that rodents in their world are afraid of humans."

"I'm more confused about why Warren said he'd kill it if it 'does a crap on his lap'," Sweetie Belle said. "What does 'crap' mean, anyway?"

Applejack rubbed her chin in thought. "If Ah recall correctly, 'crap' is just human slang for feces. Don't rightly know where Twilight got the name from, but then again Ah could say the same fer darn near everythin' she came up with herself."

"Seems like a pretty extreme threat to make to that squirrel fer somethin' so minor," Apple Bloom mused.

Applejack chuckled. "Are y'all sayin' ya wouldn't be pissed if some rodent dumped its waste all over yer lap, little sis?"

"No! Of course not," Apple Bloom retorted. "Ah jus' think killin' an animal over somethin' so trivial is wrong."

"Ah'm pretty sure Warren was jus' exaggeratin', little sis," Applejack replied. "Though, it was a strange line all the same; Ah'll ask Big Mac 'bout it later."

"The third part's starting," Scootaloo said, to which everypony returned their attention to the C.V.

The four of them proceeded to watch the third and final part of 'Canyonlands'. The episode detailed the remainder of the Zaccaro family's vacation throughout the titular region, showing off many interesting locations and the family's reactions to them. Even the viewers watching through their Crystalvisions were amazed by the scale of the set designs, and couldn't for the life of them determine where in Equestria the scenes were shot. Also, the quality of HUMAN's production shined not just through the sets but through the characters as well. Throughout the entire season but especially the finale, Warren emanated a sense of hard-edged calmness mixed with the occasional bout of crude, yet hilarious comedy. His brother Kevin was quite the uppity little scamp, and many of the younger viewers (namely the fillies) thought him to be cute.

Their parents, however, were seen in a more mixed light. The two brother's dad, Daniel, was portrayed as being an all-around goofy fellow who'd invoke his authoritative side whenever he saw the boys doing something out of line, which was more often than what many viewers thought to be necessary. But Elin, their mother, was even more heavily frowned upon by the audience. Whereas her husband had a prevalent sense of likability conveyed through his sense of humor, her own was incredibly subdued to the point of being unnoticeable, but her authoritative side was heightened to the point of being overbearing. It seemed that Warren and Kevin, but especially Warren, could never act on their natural curiosity without Elin stepping in and dictating whether she approved of such. While such was only natural for a mother to do, Elin didn't seem to act out of a desire to raise her kids to be good, functioning members of society. Rather, she seemed to act out of overparanoia, and that her sons couldn't be trusted to stay out of trouble.

As soon as the third part finished, Applejack and the Cutie Mark Crusaders turned to one another. "So, was that the greatest thing since sliced bread?" Applejack asked teasingly.

"No, that would be when Rainbow Dash did the Sonic Rainboom at the wedding," Scootaloo stated matter-of-factly. "But yeah, the finale had awesome written all over it."

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. "Seriously Scoots, can't ya go one hour without suckin' up ta Dash?"

"I can, but I won't," Scootaloo answered proudly, to which Apple Bloom facehoofed.

"I thought it was alright," Sweetie Belle said. "I just hope I don't grow up to be like Elin, though; Warren and Kevin didn't seem to enjoy their vacation whenever she was with them."

Applejack smiled softly and patted the white filly on the head. "As the former Element of Honesty, Sweetie Belle, let me say Ah don't see y'all growin' up ta be quite so despairin'."

Sweetie Belle smiled. "Thanks Applejack," she replied, and hugged the farm mare.

Apple Bloom saw this and was about to intervene when a familiar voice stopped her, one which came from the Crystalvision.

"Hello everypony!"

All four girls turned their gaze to the Crystalvision, and were collectively confused by what they saw.

"Twilight?" Applejack said to herself.

In Canterlot Castle, in a specially-reserved room for Crystalvision broadcasts, Twilight Sparkle stood in front of Boco who wore an active crystal monocle which was live broadcasting the lavender princess' message. Out of the crystal's view, Lyra Heartstrings, Princess Celestia, and Mozier stood by. Lyra had an eager grin on her face and was holding a foam finger shaped like a human hand over her hoof, Princess Celestia had a small, wistful smile on her face as she watched her student give her big announcement, and Mozier looked on with a neutral expression.

Twilight continued. "As you all know, 'Canyonlands' was the season finale, and the whole of HUMAN's production had a lot of fun putting not just it but every episode together. It was a lot of work, and I in particular suffered quite a lot to lay the foundation for the adaptation of my HUMAN book trilogy. But rest assured, none of that played a factor in what I'm about to say."

Twilight took a moment to catch her breath before dropping the ball on the entire viewing audience. "I'm leaving HUMAN's production staff permanently."

Though she had no way of seeing it herself, Twilight just knew all across Equestria ponies watching her then all collectively gasped in shock at her revelation. She could only imagine the emotional roller coaster rides everypony was experiencing right then; first shock, then rage, followed by confusion, and finishing off with concern. But Twilight intended to lay their concerns to rest, and she hoped the rest of her speech succeeded in such.

"I'm sure you're all shocked to hear me say that, and I'm also sure you're worried what it means for the show to have its creator leave." And here Twilight winked to the audience. "Well, my little humares, you'll be happy to know that HUMAN: The Crystalvision Series will indeed continue on with a second season, but instead of having me at the helm it will be somepony else beloved by you all."

"IT'S ME!"

"Ahh!" Twilight screamed and fell onto her rump.

Lyra, realizing she'd let her excitement get the better of her, blushed deeply and offered a helping hoof to the fallen alicorn. "Sorry, Twilight; my bad."

Twilight recomposed herself and took Lyra's hoof to hoist herself upright. She briefly glared at Lyra before remembering they were still on live broadcast and smiled for the crystal.

"Indeed, Miss Lyra Heartstrings will take the reins of HUMAN's production from here on out. The show will be noticeably different under her direction, I won't lie, but different doesn't mean worse. If anything, I imagine Lyra will only make season two ten times better than I made season one."

"You better bet I will!" Lyra exclaimed. She stood up on her hind legs and raised her fore legs high up into the air. "It'll be SO great your metaphorical socks won't just be blown off, they'll land all the way in kingdom come!"

Everypony else in the room smiled and rolled their eyes in response. "I don't doubt it, Lyra," Twilight stated as she looked back to the crystal. "Well, that's all I needed to . . . actually, there IS one more thing I should mention. Specifically, why I'm stepping down from my perch as HUMAN's showrunner."

Out of her eye's corner, Twilight briefed a glance to Princess Celestia and adorned a smug grin. "The reason why I needed to step down was because my duties as a princess of Equestria have become increasingly prevalent as of late, so I can't concentrate both on keeping HUMAN's production running smoothly as well as help Princess Celestia with her stacks of Day Court requests. And as you can guess, royal duties are the bigger priority of the two." Celestia didn't react in the slightest to Twilight's declaration, merely retaining her wistful expression.

Heh heh, thou shalt feel the wrath of a thousand whiny fans through thy mail in the coming weeks, dear Princess Celestia, Twilight thought, a little surprised to find herself relishing in the opportunity to screw over her former teacher.

"Well, that's all we have to say everypony," she continued. "Tune in to watch season two later this year."

With Twilight's speech over, Boco de-activated the crystal monocle. The lavender princess breathed out in exasperation and fell onto her haunches and rubbed her temples. "I'm glad that's over."

"It seems you've fully realized the value of self-sacrifice, Twilight," Celestia said, who'd walked over and draped a wing around the lavender alicorn. "The little filly I took under my wing around a decade ago could never handle the stress of making such a significant decision like you just did. To see how much you've grown since then makes me very happy, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt now that granting you ascension wasn't a mistake." The solar alicorn smiled softly. "then again, I never did believe for a second that it was."

Twilight gave Celestia her own wry smile and stood up. "Thanks, princess."

"It was a pleasure doing business with you, Ms. Sparkle," Mozier said, trotting over to them. "As much as I wish you could stay with DELOS, your decision was most definitely the correct one and I wish you the best of luck in all of your future endeavors as a princess of Equestria."

Twilight nodded. "And the same to you, Mozier." The two exchanged a hoof shake.

"Well," Boco said, putting away the crystal monocle, "since we've been invited here to the palace, how's about we gorge on some Castle Canterlotian delicacies, your highness?"

Princess Celestia giggled and nodded. "Sure, why not? Those old coots in the kitchen need something to do most likely."

"Alright, let's eat!" Lyra exclaimed, waving her foam finger excitedly.

And with that, the group of five proceeded to the kitchens. The whole while, Twilight felt an immense sense of relief from having washed her hooves of HUMAN. She would miss it, surely, but the time to leave it in somepony else's hooves had come, and Twilight had total confidence Lyra was the pony for the job.

Twilight was in her bedroom reading over Day Court requests when a knock on the front door sounded.

"Spike!" she called. "Can you get that, please!?"

"Sure thing!" the young drake called from downstairs.

While she worked, Twilight could hear in the background sounds of the door opening, some brief chatter, the door closing and ending with footsteps coming up the stairs.

"You got a package, Twilight," Spike announced, entering the room. Twilight turned around to see that, indeed, Spike was holding a brown paper-wrapped package in his claws about as big as a medium-sized book. The baby dragon had a frown on his face. "And, well, it's a little strange."

Twilight frowned herself. "What do you mean 'strange'?" she walked over to him and examined the package. "It seems just like any other package one gets in the mail."

"Well, look at the return address," Spike said, pointing to the sticker on the package's corner.

Twilight looked herself and read the text. Once done, she arched both brows in confusion. "That is strange," she muttered.

"What would The House of Enchanted Comics want to send you?" Spike asked.

Twilight shook her head. "I have no idea." She levitated the package out of Spike's claws and began unwrapping it. "But let's find out, shall we?"

Spike nodded and used his claws to help Twilight remove the wrapping paper. When they were done removing it all that remained was a plain white cardboard box with an easily removable lid. Using her magic once more Twilight removed the lid and peered inside, only to freeze in place while her eyes widened to the size of watermelons.

"Twilight, what is it?" Spike asked, concern plainly evident on his face.

The lavender princess gave no reply as she continued staring into the box. Specifically, at its lone content. A comic book; no doubt enchanted to allow the reader to experience for themselves the story it heralded. But what drew Twilight's gaze was the title of the Enchanted Comic. It was a mere two words long, but those two words left the young alicorn at a complete loss for words herself.

HUMAN World

Author's Note

To Be Continued . . .