Chapters Prologue: Worry For a Brother
The story of how the dragon king of swag entered Big Macintosh's life started on a day just like any other day for the red colt. On Sweet Apple Acres.
Applebucking Season had been in progress for three weeks now. The Apple family was working hard at gathering apples and getting them ready to sell for the Ponies in Ponyville. The girls of the Apple family were all focused on their work. Apple Bloom and Granny Smith were sorting the bad apples from the good apples, and preparing countless delicious apple treats, with everything from Apple Pie to Apple Dumplins. Applejack was hard at work bucking the apple trees and was working hard as ever. But as for Big Macintosh, things were not going so well.
For nearly the entire Applebucking Season thus far, Big Macintosh was acting strange. For one, he was obviously distracted from apple bucking. He seemed to have his mind on something else, but being so reserved, he didn’t talk about whatever that was. But whatever it was that he was thinking about was obviously affecting Big Mac. He was constantly tired, regardless of how much work he had done. But the worse thing was that Big Macintosh was depressed. He seemed stuck in a pit of sadness, and it was taking a heavy toll on Big Mac's emotions. It was also worrying the rest of the Apple Family.
It wasn’t hard for Applejack to figure out that her brother was not feeling well. She knew Big Macintosh better than anypony else, and just from seeing how unfocused he was on his work was enough to tell her that something was wrong. After talking about it with Apple Bloom and Granny Smith, they both agreed with Applejack. They were worried for Big Macintosh. They hated to see their loved family member in such a sad mood, so they were determined to find out what was bothering him.
As Applejack was waking up for another day of work, she planned to finally get Big Mac to share why he was so upset. After some thinking, she came to the conclusion that breakfast was the ideal time to ask Big Mac what was bothering him. Applejack went downstairs to the kitchen, where she found Granny Smith already awake and preparing breakfast for the family.
“Hey Granny? Would you mind doing me a favor?” Applejack asked.
“Why of course dearie. What do you need me do?” Granny Smith answered Applejack.
“Well Granny, I’m mighty tired of seeing Big Mac so down on himself. It’s just not him. I can’t stand seeing my brother so sad, and since he’s too gosh darn shy to tell us what’s wrong, I’m gonna ask him about what’s eating him myself at breakfast. Now, knowing Big Mac, he'll probably have an easier time saying what’s on his mind if it’s just to me, so I was wondering if you could let Apple Bloom know while y’all are making breakfast, so that me and Big Mac could get some alone time and I can ask him.”
“Why I think that’s a mighty fine idea Applejack,” the elderly mare answered. “As soon as Apple Bloom wakes up to come help me with breakfast I’ll tell her. We’ll give you two some alone time and you can ask him why he’s feeling so blue. It breaks this old heart seeing my poor little Big Mac so sad. I really hope you can figure out why he’s been so upset.”
“Yeah, I hope so too Granny,” Applejack answered as she heard Big Macintosh and Apple Bloom starting to also wake up upstairs. “I hope so too.”
Applejack’s plan was set in motion. As soon as Apple Bloom had arrived downstairs to help Granny Smith prepare breakfast, she immediately let the young filly know about her sister’s plan. Apple Bloom, also hoping to see her big brother finally happy again, agreed to help Applejack with her plan without hesitation.
Big Macintosh also found his way downstairs soon enough, and Applejack was already eager to find out why he was feeling so sad.
“Morning Big Mac,” Applejack said as her brother walked into the dinning room. “You ready for another hard day’s work of apple bucking?"
Big Mac had been a bit zoned out, thinking about whatever it was that was on his mind, but he managed to hear his sister’s question.
“Eeyup,” the red stallion said in response.
Applejack was anxious to ask her brother what was on his mind, so she was relieved to hear Granny Smith from the kitchen.
“Breakfast is ready everypony!” Granny Smith exclaimed from the kitchen.
Applejack and Big Macintosh made their way over to the dinning room table, and Granny Smith and Apple Bloom emerged from the kitchen carrying plates that had the fresh breakfast on it. There were only two plates that they carried in, however.
“Umm, me and Granny is gonna go on out to the barn to uhh, get an early start on work. I aint really too hungry,” Apple Bloom said as they sat down the plates for her siblings.
“And I already had an apple to eat when I woke up, so I aint too hungry either,” Granny Smith added. “Come on now little one, let’s go ahead and get to work.”
Apple Bloom and Granny Smith then trotted out, leaving Applejack and Big Macintosh by themselves to eat breakfast. Big Mac raised an eyebrow in confusion as to why Granny and Apple Bloom had decided to skip out on breakfast, but decided not to worry about it and simply began eating his breakfast. Applejack was planning to wait a while into breakfast before asking her brother about what was troubling him, but with the anticipation killing her, she couldn’t resist asking as soon as she heard the door close behind Apple Bloom and Granny.
“Alright Big Mac, I’ma get straight to the point,” Applejack stated. “You’re worrying me and the rest of the family something fierce being all sad and what not, so please tell me what’s been making you feel so gosh darn blue for the past few weeks?”
Big Macintosh was a bit surprised at first. He was certainly not excepting to be asked about his mood out of the blue like this during breakfast. But then again, this was Applejack. His sister was one of the most caring ponies in all of Ponyville, so he should have known she would ask him what was troubling him sooner or later. Now it made sense that Granny Smith and Applebloom left them alone in the dinning room. AJ knew that Big Mac was more likely to tell her if it was private. Big Macintosh let out a sigh.
“Now sis, I’m mighty sorry if I’ve been worrying you girls, but y’all really don’t have anything to worry about. I’m doing just fine,” Big Mac finally said.
One of the benefits of being the element of honesty, was that Applejack could very easily tell when somepony was lying.
“Big Mac, now this is serious. Enough is enough. We’re family, and you can tell me anything you want. I’m really worried about you. Apple Bloom is worried about you. Granny is worried about you,” Applejack told Big Mac in response as she started to get emotional. “Please just tell me. You know you can trust me. You haven’t been yourself for a while and I want to know what’s wrong.”
Big Mac sighed again. He knew that he had been depressed for the past little while, but he didn’t know that he had made it so apparent. He also knew that Applejack was as stubborn as they come when it comes to ponies, so he knew he would have to tell her now that she had set her mind to it.
“It…..its Cheerilee sis. It’s about me and Cheerilee.” Big Mac sadly said in response.
“Cheerilee?” Applejack thought for a second. Then the realization hit her. It was all of a sudden so obvious.
It had been 4 months since Hearts and Hooves Day, and since the Cutie Mark Crusaders had used the love poison to try and make Big Macintosh and Cheerilee fall in love. After their plan went wrong, Big Mac and Cheerilee decided to go on a picnic, not only to tease the Cutie Mark Crusaders a bit, but also to enjoy time between friends. As they talked, however, they found that they had a lot more in common than they thought. They talked on and on for hours. It was probably the longest Big Macintosh had even talked to anyone else that wasn’t family. It was then that they realized that maybe the Cutie Mark Crusaders weren’t so crazy to believe that they could be perfect for each other, so they decided to actually date. Things had been going perfectly thus far. Things started out slow, with Big Mac and Cheerilee just seeing each other a couple of times a week to talk and spend time together. But as time went on, they found themselves seeing each other more and more often. Eventually, it was a rare occasion for them to not see each other at least once a day. Things seemed to be perfect, and Big Macintosh thought he was falling in love. But in the recent weeks, things were not going as perfectly as they had been.
Applejack didn’t know why, but now that she thought about it, she had not seen Cheerilee around Sweet Apple Acres ever since Applebuck season had began, and Big Mac was not rushing off to go see her as he had previously been. Applejack now realized that something was wrong with them, and that was what was making Big Macintosh so depressed. She was mad at herself for not realizing the answer sooner. After a bit of an awkward pause, Applejack spoke again.
“Big Mac, I’m mighty sorry. I didn’t know that something was wrong with your relationship. No wonder you’ve been so down on yourself, you’re head over hooves for that mare. Listen, I know things may be bad now, but you can’t let it bug you. I’m sure it’ll all work out.”
“Sis, it aint that simple,” Big Mac responded. “I mean, heck, you said it yourself, I care a lot about her, but things seem to be going bad with us and ah just don’t know what to do sis. I need help from somepony who knows how to help me fix this. I just don’t know what to do AJ.”
Applejack could see that her brother was getting emotional now as well. She wanted to be able to help, but she didn’t know what to say. As a farm pony that worked so often, she didn’t find any much interest in dating often, or really ever. She knew that she couldn’t help Big Macintosh any with his situation. But looking at her brother, the red colt looked like a wreck. He needed help, and Applejack would sooner give up apple bucking than see her brother like this any more.
“Alright Big Mac, I have a plan,” the mare said to her brother. “I may not know a thing about relationships but I’ll find somepony who does. And once I do, I’ll get them to come help you, and they’ll get you and Cheerilee back on track in a jiffy, and before you know it, everything will go back to being normal again, and you can be happy. As a matter of fact, I’ll go right now.”
“Sis, I appreciate the concern, but we DO have apple bucking to do. We aint got much time to go out to Ponyville for a relationship expert. Just forget about it. I’ll be fine. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to get started on the apple bucking,” Big Mac said to his sister as he turned to walk out the door.
“You mean you’re just going to walk out and not address this thing that’s bothering you at all?” Applejack asked her brother in response.
Big Macintosh looked back at his sister and had only one thing to say.
“Eeyup.”
And with that, Big Macintosh trotted out into the acres to begin the days work.
Applejack stood in the dining room for a bit, simply thinking. There was no way in the name of Celestia that she was going to let her brother continue feeling depressed. She was caught up in a long day of Applebucking ahead of her, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t ask somepony else to help her. An idea sprung into her head, and she galloped out of the house as fast as her hooves could manage.
Chapter 3: Help Has Arrived
As lunch time rolled around, Applejack sat out on the porch with Granny Smith while Big Macintosh was inside eating his lunch. He had picked up the pace a bit in his work today in an attempt to convince Applejack that he was ok, but his lingering depression was still apparent. Apple Bloom and the Cutie Mark Crusaders were nowhere to be seen and Applejack went on hoping that they would return with somepony to help her big brother feel better. And then, almost as if on cue, the Cutie Mark Crusaders emerged from the horizon and cantered over to Applejack and Granny Smith.
“Boy howdy am I glad to see you girls,” Applejack happily exclaimed. “I reckon you three found somepony to help Big Macintosh?”
The three fillies smiled up at Applejack. “You bet we did sis!” Apple Bloom proudly responded.
“We didn’t get our detective cutie marks from it though,” Scootaloo added in a slightly dissapointed sounding tone.
“Well if you ask me, helping out my brother is even more important than getting my cutie mark. I’m just hope he’ll finally feel better,” Apple Bloom said.
“That’s great girls,” said Applejack. She looked around and finally noticed the obvious lack of somepony else being with the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
“So uh….where are they?” Applejack asked.
“Where's who?” Sweetie Belle asked back.
“You know, the pony that’s gonna help my brother out of his relationship problems? The whole reason I sent you girls off to Ponyville in the first place?” Applejack replied impatiently.
“Oh right!” Scootaloo said. “See what happened is that we asked dozens and dozens of ponies but none of them knew anypony who could help us. We were just about to give up hope when this nice group of teenage colts told us they knew the perfect guy to help Big Mac out. They said he knows all about girls and relationships and would be able to help out Big Mac no problem.”
“Well that’s great! So where are they exactly?” Applejack asked the three fillies.
“They told us that they could go ask him to come by Sweet Apple Acres to help us, and that he would be here as soon as he could, so he should be here any minute now,” Sweetie Belle told the farm pony.
Once again, almost as if on cue, another figure began to emerge from the horizon towards Applejack. She could quickly tell it was a horse drawn carriage, and she could see two strong looking ponies pulling the carriage along. The carriage itself, however, was quite the sight. It was one of the longest Applejack had ever seen. It stretched out to the length of 2 carriages. The carriage was painted a dark purple and the wheels looked as if they were gold plated. Applejack didn’t know what to make of this odd sight that was this carriage, but she dismissed it, being so anxious to have the person help her brother.
The two ponies pulled the carriage up so that the door to it was beside the porch that Applejack, Granny Smith, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders were standing on. The door opened to reveal the interior of the carriage. The seats looked sleek and comfortable, while the floor and roof of the carriage were covered by some sort of shaggy looking carpet, which was also a purple color. A miniature disco ball hung from the ceiling as well, and even the door itself seemed to be detailed as the doorknob was encrusted with diamonds.
The carriage was the strangest sight that any of the five mares sitting on the porch had ever seen. But before they could think anything further of it, a figure began to step out of the carriage and stood right in front of Applejack.
She got a good look at the creature that had just stepped out of the carriage, and she once again couldn’t believe her eyes. After looking at the figure for a short time, she could only blurt out one single question:
“Are you kidding me?”
Big Macintosh sat in the dinning room calmly eating his lunch. It had been quite the day for Big Mac, with his sister confronting him about his depression, and revealing his relationship troubles with Cheerilee to her. He knew he had not heard the last on the matter knowing that Applejack would do whatever she could to help Big Mac in his situation, but for the time being Big Mac was just going to enjoy his calm lunch. Little did he know he was about to be in for the wildest and oddest day of his life.
Five mares suddenly made their way into the dinning room where Big Macintosh was eating. Applejack, Granny Smith, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle. For a second they simply awkwardly looked at Big Mac and each other until a nervous Big Macintosh finally spoke,
“Uh, howdy?” The red stallion told the mares.
“Umm, hey there Big Mac. So, I reckon you remember when I told you I would find you some help for your situation this morning, right?” Applejack asked her brother.
Big Macintosh looked at his Granny and the Cutie Mark Crusaders and saw them all giving a uneasy and awkward look.
“Eeyup.”
“Well, I asked Apple Bloom and her friends here if they could find somepony in Ponyville to help you while I worked,” Applejack replied. “And, well, they found somepony. Err, well actually not somepony per say.”
Big Macintosh was obviously confused at his sister’s remarks.
“Ah shoot Applejack, just bring him in, he’s already here so you may as well let him come see Big Mac,” Granny Smith told Applejack.
“Alright, alright. Hey, you can come on in now!” Applejack yelled out to the next room over.
Suddenly, the figure that emerged from the carriage now made their presence felt in the dining room. Big Macintosh looked at the figure with curious and confused eyes. In front of him was not a pony, but a dragon. A baby dragon to be specific. In fact, this baby dragon was none other than Spike, the assistant to Twilight Sparkle. It was him alright, but he looked different. He was dressed in a dark purple suit, he wore fancy looking white shoes, and in his hand he held a purple cane, with a handle that was encrusted with various gems. And then atop his head he wore a white hat.
Big Macintosh could not believe what he was seeing. He was confused not only as to why Spike was dressed in such an odd way, but also as to why he was in the dinning room with him and the other five mares. Before he could continue wondering these things, Spike then spoke.
“Good evening Big Macintosh, my name is A Pimp Named Spikeback, and this sir, is an intervention.”
Chapter 4: Intervention Time
Big Macintosh stood there for a moment just staring at the baby dragon dressed in purple before him. It was quite the sight seeing Spike like this. The last time Big Macintosh has seen Spike was during an apple delivery to Twilight Sparkle's library a couple of days prior to Applebucking Season, and Spike was perfectly normal during that visit. But now, he was decked out in the most curious attire Big Mac had ever seen. His purple suit was accompanied by a purple tie and white under shirt. He had on a pair of matching purple pants and white shoes. His white hat stood out the most, with a red feather sticking out of the hat. Then there were his sunglasses, which were gold platted with purple lenses. His cane had a handle that was encrusted with various gems, and Big Macintosh had no idea why he would need a cane when Spike had no trouble walking at all, let alone need a cane with a gem encrusted handle. Finally, there was that way he introduced himself. He didn't introduce himself as Spike, the friendly assistant to Twilight Sparkle. He introduced himself as A Pimp Named Spikeback. Big Macintosh was even more confused about that name than anything else about Spike. Why was Spike calling himself that and why-
"Son,are you just gonna stand there and stare at me like some kind of freak, or are you gonna open your mouth and say something?"
Big Mac's train of thought was stopped as Spike said this. Big Mac didn't really know what to say. Spike's appearance and name were too distracting for him to think of anything to say at the moment. And now as Spike had just spoken again, Big Mac noticed something even stranger about this new Spike: the way he talked. His voice sounded drastically different. He spoke with some sort of odd accent that sounded like he was trying to sound tough while also cool at the same time. It clearly wasn't his regular voice, but this new accent sounded a bit forced. Now Big Macintosh found himself racking his mind, trying to figure out why Spike was speaking in such a strange way and why-
"Big Mac I swear to Celestia if you don't answer me right now I will take this cane and beat the living hell out of you."
The surprises just kept coming from Spike. It was a rare occasion for anyone in Ponyville to curse, and hearing it from Spike was even stranger than any time Big Macintosh had heard a pony curse before. He was a baby dragon after all. Big Mac wanted to continue thinking about all of these strange aspects about Spike, but he could see him starting to clutch his cane and Big Mac finally remembered what it was that Spike just said, and decided it was best to say something.
"Er, howdy Spike. Why are you-"
"I'm sorry Big Mac, I did not realize that you were deaf. I said that my name is A Pimp Named Spikeback. Not Spike," the baby dragon said as he cut off Big Macintosh mid sentence.
"Uh, okay then. Well Spikeback, why are you-"
"Big Mac are you mentally challenged too? Man, I told you that my name is A PIMP NAMED Spikeback. You need to say the whole damn thing. Not just Spike, not just Spikeback, A PIMP NAMED Spikeback," A Pimp Named Spikeback said cutting off Big Macintosh again.
"Applejack, why is Spike here, and why is he talking like this?" Big Macintosh asked his sister.
"What the hell is wrong with you man? I said my name is A PIMP NAMED SPIKEBACK! A PIMP NAMED SPIKEBACK, say it with me now," the purple suit wearing dragon yelled.
"Big Mac your guess is as good as mine, he's been calling himself that ever since he got here. I have no idea what's going on, but he said he can help you so I decided to give him a chance," Applejack told her confused brother.
"Help me? With my problem with Cheerilee?" Big Mac asked as he turned back to A Pimp Named Spikeback.
"Why yes Big Mac, that's why I'm here. I'm going to help you with your mare problems so you can stop acting like a depressed fool all day," the dragon told Big Mac as his voice returned to a cool and calm tone.
"Well Spike, er, I mean A Pimp Named Spikeback," Big Mac quickly corrected himself as he spoke to the baby dragon. "No offense,but ah don't really see how you can help me with my problem."
"Oh yeah, that's right. You farm ponies have been busy with your Applebucking Season thing for the past few weeks haven't you?" A Pimp Named Spikeback asked both Big Mac and Applejack.
"Uh, yeah, we have been," Applejack answered A Pimp Named Spikeback.
"Well no wonder you guys are so confused," the baby dragon said to the farm pony. "You see, things have changed in the past couple of weeks. I myself, have drastically changed in the past couple of weeks."
"Ya don't say?" Applejack sarcastically asked the smooth talking dragon.
"Yes, and I've learned a whole lot in the past couple of weeks. A lot about mares, relationships, what colts are willing to do for mares, and all that kind of stuff," A Pimp Named Spikeback told the mare in response before turning back to Big Macintosh. "Which is what brings me here to you Big Mac."
"Well, I'm mighty grateful that you would want to help me A Pimp Named Spikeback, but how exactly do you know a lot about mares and relationships all of a sudden?" a curious Big Macintosh asked the baby dragon.
"Why, I am glad that you asked," A Pimp Named Spikeback said in response to the red stallion. "You see, through my transformation I learned of the glorious world of the pimp business. During the weeks you have been bucking apples, I have started the most thriving pimp business that Ponyville has ever seen. My business is just a mere couple of weeks old and I'm already starting to expand it to Canterlot!"
"Well that sounds nice and all A Pimp Named Spikeback," Big Mac told the suave dragon. "But what exactly is it that your business does?"
"Well Big Mac, not every colt is as lucky as you. Many colts do not have a special mare of their own in their life," A Pimp Named Spikeback began explaining to Big Macintosh. "So I hire some mares who are wanting employment, and they will satisfy the needs that those colts desire for a generous fee. The mares then split the profits with me, and everyone is satisfied."
Applejack and Big Macintosh's eyes both grew wide as they realized what kind of business A Pimp Named Spikeback was describing to them. The shock was even greater as they realized innocent little Spike, or now A Pimp Named Spikeback, was the one in charge of such a business.
"So you have a bunch of girls make guys happy and then they get money for it?" Sweetie Belle asked A Pimp Named Spikeback. In the whole confusion of the baby dragon's presence, Big Macintosh and Applejack had forgot that the Cutie Mark Crusaders were also still in the room.
"Hey, that sounds easy!" Scootaloo added happily.
"We like making people happy, why I bet we could work for you and maybe even get our cutie marks!" Apple Bloom said with excitement in her voice.
"Apple Bloom, you three don't realize what it is this guy's mares do, and you don't want to know. Now I don't want you to ever even consider working for him again and I want you to forget about this whole thing. Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, that goes for y'all too," Applejack sternly told the three young fillies. She then turned to Granny Smith. "Granny, I don't want these girls hearing anymore of this. Please take them outside, and don't let em back in till he's gone."
"You don't have to tell me twice young 'un," the old mare told Applejack. "Fillies this young could have their minds ruined by hearing this nonsense. Come on with me girls, let's go to the barn. You can see if you can get baking cutie marks."
"Granny I've been baking with you all apple buck season. If I were going to get a baking cutie mark I would have got it by-"
"Apple Bloom I said we're going NOW gosh darn it!" Granny Smith cut off the young filly.
Remaining quiet, the Cutie Mark Crusaders followed Granny Smith out of the dinning room.
"I don't see what you were worried about miss AJ, I am a pimp of class. I would never stoop so low as to hire underage fillies as employees of mine," A Pimp Named Spikeback told Applejack.
"Spike y'all best shut your mouth right now. I can't believe what you're doing with mares. What would Twilight say?" an angry Applejack said to the baby dragon.
"Miss Sparkle does not approve of my business, and I did not expect her too. But after being her loyal assistant for so long, she agreed to tolerate my endeavors in exchange for not bringing the business near the library. And my name is A Pimp Named Spikeback, not Spike," the purple suit wearing dragon told the mare.
"So, I purchased a nice little place with some spare gems that I was previously saving for snacks, and ran my business from there. And after using the money from my business, I have since upgraded to a very nice and respectable mansion."
"MANSION?" a shocked Big Macintosh asked.
"That's right, mansion," a proud A Pimp Named Spikeback replied. "It is a very profitable business my friend. And speaking of the mansion, it is about time that we made our way there so I can begin helping you with your problem mister Big Mac."
"Now you hold it right there partner," Applejack quickly said. "When you said you could help Big Mac, I let you in because after knowing you for so long I didn't think you would be a...a..."
"A Pimp?" A Pimp Named Spikeback answered Applejack,
"Yeah.....that," the mare replied.
"I have to agree with my sister on this Mr. A Pimp Named Spikeback. I appreciate the offer, but I don't think someone like you can really help me in this situation," Big Macintosh told A Pimp Named Spikeback.
"Oh I see, so just cause I'm a pimp, and just cause my employees work in a mature business, I wouldn't know anything about helping you, is that right? Well that is YOUR opinion mister Big Mac. And MY opinion is that your opinion is a load of bull shit."
Big Macintosh and Applejack's eyes went wide once again as A Pimp Named Spikeback said this.
"Tell me something Big Mac, can you tell me where your mare is right now?" the baby dragon asked Big Macintosh.
Big Macintosh thought about that. The truth was, he didn't know where Cheerilee was at all. Ever since his depression began at the start of Applebuck Season he had not seen her at all. Realizing this, Big Mac hung his head in shame.
"Nnope."
"Uh huh, now that's what I thought. I, on the other hand, always know where all my girls are at every single minute of every single day. I ain't the one who has mare problems here Big Mac, it's you," A Pimp Named Spikeback harshly told the red stallion. "But you know what? I'm going to help you. You see, I'm being very generous right now. I would normally charge hundreds of bits for my assistance in a situation such as this. But I look at you and I see a pitiful, broken, desperately in need of help colt."
Big Macintosh was silent.
"The fact is, your relationship is in trouble, and if you don't fix it, it's going to mess with your mind, body, and emotions. Now if you really don't want to give my generous and free help a try then that is just fine with me mister Big Mac. If you want to let your problems with this mare destroy your life then you can go right ahead." A Pimp Named Spikeback paused. "Or, you can come with me, take my advice, get your love life in order, and live happily ever after, and all that shit."
Big Macintosh thought for a moment. This whole thing was still so strange, and he highly doubted that A Pimp Named Spikeback could help him with Cheerilee. But on the other hoof, how did he know that whatever advice he had for him wouldn't help him with Cheerilee? Maybe, just maybe, A Pimp Named Spikeback really could help Big Macintosh get his love life back on track. He didn't have anything to lose, so it was worth a shot.
"Applejack, take care of the apple bucking for today. I'll make it up to you tomorrow by taking care of your share of the work," Big Mac told his sister before he turned to face A Pimp Named Spikeback. "Alright, let's go."
"Hold it, you're really going to go with him?" a startled Applejack asked her brother.
"Eeyup."
"You honestly think that he can help you with your love life?"
"Well actually sis, no I don't. But I also don't know that he CAN'T help me. I don't have anything to lose here, so in case he really can help me, I'm going to give him a chance," Big Macintosh told his sister.
"Smart colt, smart colt. I'll be waiting in the carriage. Come on out when you're ready to go," A Pimp Named Spikeback said before turning and leaving the dinning room.
Applejack walked up to her brother with worry in her eyes.
"Are you sure about this Big Mac?" Applejack asked her older brother. "I don't trust him."
"Eeyup," was all Big Macintosh said in response.
"Promise me you'll be careful, and that you won't do anything stupid that he may tell you to do. I don't know what he has in store for you."
"I promise AJ," Big Mac told his sister.
"Well, alrighty then. You best be on your way then. Wouldn't want to keep him waiting," Applejack said to her big brother.
"Eeyup. I should be back later tonight. See you soon," Big Macintosh said as he turned and began to leave the dinning room. He stopped and turned back to face Applejack. "Hey sis?"
"Yeah?" Applejack asked her brother back.
"Thanks again for being so concerned about me. You really the best sister a colt could ask for."
With that, Big Macintosh trotted out of the house and climbed into the carriage with A Pimp Named Spikeback. Applejack walked out to the porch and watched as the carriage exited Sweet Apple Acers.
Chapter 5: A Lesson in Mare Dependency
Big Macintosh was in awe of the lavish carriage that he and A Pimp Named Spikeback were riding in. He looked around at the shag carpet floor and roof, the disco ball hanging from the roof, the gold patterns running throughout the wall, and everything else about the fancy carriage. A Pimp Named Spikeback smirked as he saw how Big Mac was at a loss for words, but it was time to get down to business.
"Alright Mr. Big Mac, if I'm going to help you with my pimp wisdom, I first need to know how bad your situation is," the purple suit wearing dragon told Big Macintosh. Big Mac stopped observing the carriage they were in and turned to face A Pimp Named Spikeback.
"Ok, well where do you reckon I should start?" Big Macintosh asked the baby dragon.
"Why don't you start at the beginning Big Mac. How did you and your mare become an item?" A Pimp Named Spikeback asked the red colt.
"Hmm, well our relationship started this past Hearts and Hooves Day," Big Mac started describing to A Pimp Named Spikeback. "My little sister Apple Bloom and her two friends decided that I would be the perfect very special somepony for their teacher Cheerilee. To tell you the truth, the first time they tried to get us together, the awkwardness of the situation led nowhere, and we just went on back home. But my sister and her friends weren't done, and the very next day they tricked us into drinking a love potion to make us fall in love."
"Thing is, it wasn't actually a love potion. It was a love poison. Me and Cheerilee were acting like plum fools, and we wouldn't stay away from each other. Apple Bloom and her friends were luckily able to make us all better just in the nick of time, and Cheerilee and I decided to go on a picnic to tease the girls after the long day, and also to enjoy a nice dinner as friends." Big Macintosh paused as he happily reminisced.
"That's when it started. We just talked and talked all night, and the more we talked the more we found out about all the things we have in common. We liked the same kind of music, same kind of food, same kind of hobbies. Shoot, I can't remember hardly anything we didn't have much in common about. We decided to actually give dating a chance after that night, and for 4 amazing months, everything was going perfect." Big Macintosh paused again, this time with his expression turning into a frown as he continued remembering.
"That is, everything was going perfect until the week leading up to Applebucking Season. Things didn't seem right. Every time I would ask her about spending time together, she didn't seem interested. She just wanted to head on home, and told me maybe later. But later wouldn't come, because I kept asking her and she kept telling me she couldn't. Near the end of the week I finally went to her house and asked her why she was ignoring me so much and why she didn't want to spend time with me. She told me that there wasn't anything wrong, and that she just couldn't spend time with me at the moment. I was worried, so I asked her if there was somepony else that she was more interested in spending time with than me. I know that was mighty stupid of me to ask, but I did, and she was angry. She yelled at me and told me that I was being unbelievable and she shut the door on me. I went on back to Sweet Apple Acres, and I haven't heard from her since. "
Big Macintosh hung his head in sadness as he finished his story. A Pimp Named Spikeback sat and contemplated on where to begin after listening to Big Mac's tale.
"Well Big Mac, if my calculations are correct, and they always are, you suffer from what we in the pimp business call Mare Dependency," the baby dragon calmly told Big Macintosh.
"Mare Dependency?" a confused Big Macintosh asked in response.
"That's right, Mare Dependency. You have found yourself so in love with this mare, that you have lost control of your life and are now addicted to her. By having this Mare Dependency, not only can it mess with you, but also your life and those around you. Addiction to a mare isn't healthy Big Mac. Your situation is worse than I feared," A Pimp Named Spikeback explained to the red colt.
"With all due respect A Pimp Named Spikeback, I don't think I am 'addicted,' and I certainly don't think I have anything called Mare Dependency," Big Mac told A Pimp Named Spikeback with a small laugh as he ended his sentence.
"Big Mac, Mare Dependency is no laughing matter. Rest assured that I am not lying to you about this. As a matter of fact, scientists now believe that some colts are born with a genetic free disposition to Mare Dependency. It's a disease Big Mac," A Pimp Named Spikeback explained.
"Well even if I did have some sort of addiction to Cheerilee, what exactly to you reckon I should do about it?" Big Macintosh asked A Pimp Named Spikeback.
"Well Big Mac, from what you've told me, it would seem that your mare may have lost some interest in her relationship with you. You see, mares enjoy excitement in a relationship," A Pimp Named Spikeback replied.
"So what you're going to do is teach me how to give her excitement?" a confused Big Macintosh asked back.
"Hell no, if that bitch wants excitement then she can take her ass to a Wonderbolts show!" A Pimp Named Spikeback sternly said is response.
Big Macintosh's jaw dropped as A Pimp Named Spikeback said this.
"What did you just say?" Big Mac asked with a surprised look still on his face.
"I can see you're surprised by the name I just called you mare, but Big Mac after what she has done to you, and after how much she has messed with your life, not calling her a bitch would be an insult to you, and Big Mac I do not want to insult you," the baby dragon explained to Big Mac.
Big Macintosh said nothing, still shocked from what A Pimp Named Spikeback had called Cheerilee.
"Anyway, what I am going to teach you, Mr. Big Mac, is how to make your bitch behave," A Pimp Named Spikeback continued. "What you need to work on is asserting yourself and being in control. If you're not in control then your Mare Dependency will just grow worse. You need to let your bitch know that you are the colt in charge and that you will not be disrespected by her. If she continues to misbehave, then that's when you got to slap a bitch."
Just as Big Macintosh had finished picking up his jaw, it dropped once more, as Big Mac was in even greater shock from what he had just heard.
"Did you just say you want me to slap my marefriend?" a very shocked Big Mac finally managed to ask the calm dragon.
"Yes Big Mac, studies show that in a situation such as yours, slapping the bitch is the only way for you to make a bitch behave," A Pimp Named Spikeback replied.
"A Pimp Named Spikeback, I am not gonna slap Cheerilee. I'm not slapping any mare for that matter. I could never harm someone like that. How would slapping her solve anything anyway?" Big Mac asked.
"Well answer me this Big Mac, has NOT slapping the bitch worked? Scientifically speaking, has not slapping the bitch achieved the desired results? Are you not in a troubled position in your relationship now when you have not slapped the bitch?" the dragon pimp asked back.
"Well, yes.....but I'm not slapping Cheerilee A Pimp Named Spikeback. I could never hurt her. I don't have it in me," Big Macintosh replied.
"We'll see Big Mac, we will see," A Pimp Named Spikeback said as he looked out of the window in the carriage. "It would appear that we have finally arrived at my mansion."
Big Macintosh also looked out of the window and saw that A Pimp Named Spikeback was correct. They were indeed at the dragon king of swag's mansion. The size of it was impressive, with a length stretching out as long as at least 10 of the barns from Sweet Apple Acres. In front of the mansion were 2 giant fountains, shooting out beautiful streams of water. The massive building was impressive down to every last detail, including the entrance gate that they were beside. Across the gate were the gold encrusted letters A.P.N.S.B. in a fancy looking font.
"Well then, it's time for you to get a real lesson in how to deal with Mare Dependency Big Mac," A Pimp Named Spikeback told the red colt. "Let's head on inside."
A Pimp Named Spikeback and Big Macintosh stepped out of the carriage and A Pimp Named Spikeback then opened the gate. They walked up to the door of the mansion, and entered the large building.
Chapter 6: Keep the Pimp Hoof Strong
Just as Big Macintosh was expecting, A Pimp Named Spikeback's mansion was just as lavish inside as it was on the outside. It was full of fancy furniture and decorations, and everything looked expensive. Big furry couches, chandeliers hanging from the ceilings, and a giant hot tub in the middle of the living room all caught Big Macintosh's eye. All around the mansion were also statues and paintings of A Pimp Named Spikeback himself. There were so many that the mansion almost seemed like a monument to the baby dragon. The detail in each statue was chiseled to perfection, and the portraits were no different. Of all the things that caught Big Mac's attention inside the mansion, however, there was one thing that stood out the most. There were mares everywhere.
Happy looking mares filled the mansion and were walking to and from, discussing various topics, and enjoying their day. Some mares were leaving the mansion to begin their shift of work for A Pimp Named Spikeback, while others were returning, each with a large bag full of bits. All the mares were overjoyed to see that their employer was there, and each greeted the baby dragon as he walked by.The things that Big Macintosh found the most odd was their tendency to call A Pimp Named Spikeback "daddy." Why would they call him that? He was obviously not their father. He wasn't even of the same species as them. Then again, after everything the red colt had seen from A Pimp Named Spikeback today, nothing really made much sense. As Big Mac followed the purple suit wearing dragon, an excited looking mare cantered up to her boss, with a large bag of bits resting on her back.
"Hey daddy! I just got back from my shift, and look at how many bits I got today!" The mare then reached back and grabbed the bag on her back with her teeth and handed it to A Pimp Named Spikeback. He opened the bag and looked through the container, counting the bits that she had made for the day.
"Did I do good daddy?" the excited mare asked.
"There are 500 bits in here. Last time you made 800," A Pimp Named Spikeback responded in an annoyed tone.
"Oh, but it was a slow day today. I did try really hard today, I promise," the now nervous sounding mare told her employer.
"Well I guess you didn't try hard enough!" A Pimp Named Spikeback snapped back. "Now A Pimp Named Spikeback doesn't have to slap a bitch does he?"
"No daddy of course not. I'll do better next time, I promise!" she quickly responded back.
"Mhmm, that's what I thought. Now get up out of here."
As soon as A Pimp Named Spikeback had finished saying this, the mare turned around and galloped off. Big Macintosh had never seen her around Ponyville before, but he already felt bad about how she had just been treated by the dragon pimp.
"That there was Candy Cane. She's been a pretty good employee, but she knows I don't like it when my mares come up short. You see Big Mac, you got to let them know that you won't tolerate no bull from them," A Pimp Named Spikeback told the red colt.
"Dontch'a think you were a bit harsh on her?" Big Macintosh asked the baby dragon.
"Hell no, you got to be strict with your bitches. See, that's your problem Big Mac. You're never thinking about yourself, just about your bitch. We need to hurry and teach you how to deal with your Mare Dependency," A Pimp Named Spikeback explained to Big Mac. "Which is why we are going to start right now."
A Pimp Named Spikeback came to a stop beside a large door. Big Macintosh stopped as well, waiting for what the purple dragon would do next.
"Through here is my gym," A Pimp Named Spikeback told Big Mac. "I have someone waiting for us in here who will help you learn how to treat your mare the proper way."
A Pimp Named Spikeback then opened the door, to reveal the large room waiting on the other side.
"Shall we?" the dragon king of swag asked as he motioned for Big Macintosh to walk through the door.
The nervous colt hesitated for a second, but finally stepped into the room, not expecting what lesson A Pimp Named Spikeback had waiting for him inside. The dragon pimp then followed Big Mac into the gym and closed the door behind him.
Big Macintosh galloped into the gym looking around for whatever it was that A Pimp Named Spikeback had in store for him. As he looked around the room, however, there was nothing too out of the ordinary. At least, not out of the ordinary for a room in a gigantic mansion owned by a baby dragon pimp. It was not too different than the rest of the mansion, as there were statues and portraits of A Pimp Named Spikeback around the room. The only thing that stuck out about the gym was the wrestling ring in the middle of it. Around the ring were some weights and sand bags, such as the ones Big Macintosh had back on Sweet Apple Acres to practice his bucking on. But there was one other thing different about this room. Unlike the rest of the mansion, it was not full of the baby dragon's mares. Instead there only seemed to be one other mare in the room. Big Mac had been too distracted by the ring and exercise equipment to notice her at first, but he now got a good look at her. He was shocked by what he saw.
In front of him was a very familiar mare. She had a white coat and a long and beautiful purple mane, with an equally glorious purple tail to go with it. They were both complemented by her blue eyes. She had a horn to signify that she was a unicorn, and finally, there was her cutie mark. Three gems to represent her special talent of making extravagant clothes out of jewels.
"Big Mac, I do believe you know my friend here. Allow me to introduce you to my bottom bitch Miss Rarity," the baby dragon told Big Macintosh as he stood beside him.
Big Macintosh's jaw dropped just as far as it had back at Sweet Apple Acres hours earlier.
"R-rarity? You're one of his........workers?" a shocked red colt asked.
"Huh? Oh heavens no darling, I don't partake in the same, er, actions as Spikey Wikey's other girls," Rarity told Big Macintosh in response.
"But he just called you his..."
"Bottom bitch, yes Big Mac that is correct," A Pimp Named Spikeback cut off Big Mac mid sentence. "You see Big Mac, in the pimp buisness, the mare who is the most important and trusted person in your business is known as your bottom bitch. And Miss Rarity here is hooves down the most important mare in my business. Not only does she help me make important business decisions and strategize on how to expand it, she also personally designs the outfits for every single mare under my employment, and sees to it that they are each looking damn good. Don't get no business if the mares are looking bad, know what I mean?"
Thinking about it, Big Macintosh now remembered that the many mares in A Pimp Named Spikeback's mansion indeed were all wearing amazing outfits, and admittedly all looked very attractive.
"Oh Spike, you flatter me too much darling. This is your business after all. I'm just happy to help my little Spikey Wikey," Rarity told the baby dragon, enjoying the praises he gave her.
"And ah thought you didn't like people calling you anything other than A Pimp Named Spikeback," a further confused Big Macintosh remarked.
"Well the beautiful Miss Rarity is an exception. A mare as stunning as her can call me whatever she pleases," A Pimp Named Spikeback replied.
"Fair enough," Big Mac remarked. "So just what is it that she's going to be doing to help me?"
"Well mister Big Mac, to help you overcome your Mare Dependency, we first need to show you first hand how to handle treating your bitch correctly," the purple dragon explained. "So we are going to simulate what you need to do in a situation where your bitch is misbehaving. Rarity here will be playing the role of your bitch."
"Indeed. So all you have to do dear, is just treat me the same way you're supposed to treat Cheerilee," Rarity added.
"Alright. Sounds easy enough." Big Macintosh walked up to Rarity and awaited A Pimp Named Spikeback's instructions.
"Now then Big Mac, in this scenario your bitch has decided to be a dumbass and you want her to go home right now. However, she is refusing to cooperate. Show your bitch that you are in charge and won't take no for an answer. I want you to tell her to march her ass home right now," A Pimp Named Spikeback instructed.
"Umm, alright. I'll try." Big Macintosh turned to face Rarity. "Now listen here Cheerilee! Y'all need to-"
"Stop. Stop right there," the baby dragon said interrupting Big Mac mid sentence. "Mister Big Mac, we have been over this. To show that you are in charge you need to address her as bitch."
"But...but ah just can't do that. I was raised to always be respectful to everypony. I never curse, and I'd certainly never curse at Cheerilee. Do I really have to?" Big Macintosh asked A Pimp Named Spikeback.
"Yes Big Mac, it will not work if you don't call her a bitch. Trust me, I've done the research. Now try it again," A Pimp Named Spikeback sternly commanded.
Big Macintosh sighed and took a deep breath. As much as he didn't want to do it, A Pimp Named Spikeback was not going to budge on his stance.
"BITCH, y'all best get your flank-"
"Ass," the dragon pimp said, quickly correcting Big Mac mid sentence.
"....BITCH, y'all best get your ass home right now!" Big Macintosh commanded Rarity.
"How dare you, you no good pathetic charlatan! If you were a real gentlecolt, I wouldn't be out spending time away from you in the first place! You are a dimwitted, weak, and cowardly cur, and I will do nothing that you say!" Rarity scolded Big Macintosh in response.
Big Macintosh stood there for a second, taken back by everything Rarity had just said to him.
"A Pimp Named Spikeback, I'm pretty sure that Cheerilee wouldn't respond to me like that," Big Mac told the purple suit wearing dragon.
"Well Mister Big Mac it is now obvious that, unfortunately, the bitch will not listen to reason," A Pimp Named Spikeback said, ignoring Big Macintosh's statement. "Now it is time to hit her."
"Come on now, ah can't do that. I will not hit a mare, ah just can't," the red colt told the dragon.
"Big Mac, we need to get past this. For you to establish your dominance in the relationship, you need to hit the bitch," A Pimp Named Spikeback responded.
"It's ok darling, I'm much tougher than I look. I can handle one small smack. It's no big deal at all," Rarity added.
"You see, she is giving you permission now. There's no reason to not hit her," A Pimp Named Spikeback told Big Macintosh.
"I....I just can't. There's no way I could hit somepony," Big Mac told the baby dragon.
"Hmph, so be it then." A Pimp Named Spikeback looked at Rarity. "Miss Rarity, it would seem that Big Mac here will not listen to reason. Would you kindly motivate him to do what must be done?"
"Huh? What does that mean-" Big Macintosh ended his question early when he heard Rarity yell out a war cry. She flew through the air and before he knew it, her hoof made contact with his face. Big Mac was knocked back by the kick and was shocked not only that he had just been hit by Rarity, but by how incredibly powerful she was. Before he could fully recover, Rarity ran back up to him, and began smacking him over and over. Big Mac started to run away as Rarity chased him around the gym, landing hits whenever she could.
"Big Mac, now you should have no problem hitting her. You're now allowed by law to do it. It's self defense Big Mac. Just hit her!" A Pimp Named Spikeback yelled out to the terrified red colt.
Big Mac heard the dragon pimps words, but he had already taken a significant beating from Rarity. His nose was bleeding, and one of his eyes felt incredibly sore. He knew that he likely had a black eye. All he could do was try to avoid Rarity's endless onslaught as she landed another hit.
"Miss Rarity you are in rare form tonight," and impressed baby dragon stated.
Rarity flew through the air one more time, and once again hit Big Mac square in the face. The world turned into a blur for the red colt, and he suddenly collapsed onto the floor, unconscious.
"Oh my. Spike dear, do you think I overdid it?" a concerned Rarity asked.
"Nah, the poor colt needed some sense knocked into him. When he wakes up, I guarantee that he'll be ready to listen to reason," A Pimp Named Spikeback replied. "Well, I guess we should get him to the living room. He can rest on the couch until he comes to."
A Pimp Named Spikeback called for a few of his mares, and had them carry the knocked out Big Macintosh to the living room couch, and rested him there. As A Pimp Named Spikeback walked up to the couch, he was approached by another one of his employees.
"Sir, a unicorn named Twilight Sparkle is here to see you," she told the dragon pimp.
"Fantastic. Send her in for me," A Pimp Named Spikeback told the mare.
The mare exited the room, and soon, the familiar purple unicorn entered the living room, and joined A Pimp Named Spikeback by the couch.
"Well, I'm here. Why is it that you needed me to come here so quickly?" the intelligent lavender unicorn asked the dragon king of swag.
"Miss Sparkle, I greatly need your assistance in aiding this poor colt." A Pimp Named Spikeback then pointed to the unconscious red stallion resting on the couch.
"Dear Celestia, what happened to him?" Twilight asked.
"His lesson with Miss Rarity may have knocked the wind out of him a bit," the baby dragon told the concerned unicorn. "He should wake up soon enough, but since you're here, I need your assistance now."
Twilight gave one last worried look at Big Macintosh, then turned back to A Pimp Named Spikeback.
"Alright. What do you need me to do?"
Chapter 7: Time For Action
Big Macintosh awoke in a daze, roughly half an hour after he has been knocked out by Rarity. He lurched up from the couch, unable to remember what it was that had knocked him unconscious, and observed his surroundings. He was back in the large living room that he had walked through when he first entered A Pimp Named Spikeback's mansion. Thinking about that baby dragon, Big Mac also noticed that A Pimp Named Spikeback was nowhere to be found in the room. Big Macintosh noticed some of the dragon pimp's mares relaxing in the hot tub that was in the middle of the room, and decided to ask them about what had happened to him and the location on their employer.
"Uh, pardon me ladies." The mares turned to look at the red stallion to see what he had to ask. "I don't reckon y'all could tell me why I was laying on the couch knocked out, could ya?"
"Well, from what daddy told us, you pretty much got your flank handed to you by a mare," one of A Pimp Named Spikeback's employees replied.
Big Macintosh cringed as the memories came flooding back to him. He recalled how Rarity had attacked him at the request of A Pimp Named Spikeback, beating him until he had blacked out. The fashionista pony had delivered quite the beating on Big Macintosh.
"And from the looks of your eye, she really did a real number on you," another mare added.
Big Macintosh looked down into the waters of the hot tub to observe his reflection. The mare was certainly not lying. All around his left eye was a dark purple tint. It was painful just looking at the black eye. As Big Mac further inspected himself, he noticed various other bruises on his body from the strikes he had taken from Rarity. The colt was not looking too well to say the least.
"Sorry about that. Rarity can be pretty aggressive," the first mare told Big Mac.
Big Mac shrugged. He wasn't too concerned about his appearance. If anything, he was just ready for this day to be over with.
"If it makes you feel better, you still look pretty cute," the other mare told Big Macintosh, giving him a flirty look.
"Well thank ya kindly ladies, but could I trouble you by asking where A Pimp Named Spikeback is right now," the red colt asked, ignoring the mare's flirtation.
"I'm pretty sure he's upstairs right now talking with some purple unicorn chick," another mare in the hot tub replied, pointing to a set of stairs behind the hot tub.
"Thank ya ladies," Big Macintosh gratefully replied. He began to trot up the stairs.
"You sure you have to go see him so soon?" the same flirtatious mare asked. "You're more than welcome to join us in here."
"Ma'am, I'm flattered by the offer. Really ah am. But I'm faithful to my mare friend, so I'm going to have to decline. Thanks again for the help," Big Macintosh told the pouting mare.
Big Macintosh cantered up the stairs to find the dragon king of swag, and the purple unicorn that was with him.
In the upstairs area of A Pimp Named Spikeback's mansion was the most secret and advanced room in the entire building: the technology room. As a connoisseur for the finest things in life, the dragon pimp spared no expense, and had some of the most advanced technology that Equestria had to offer. The room was filled to the brim with assorted computers and monitors, capable of calculating great feats with the information that they could access. A Pimp Named Spikeback actually had no idea how to work such machines, and had honestly just bought them when he did because he believed it would look impressive in his mansion. Twilight Sparkle, however, was easily able to work the technology with the knowledge that she possessed. So for the last half hour, Twilight had been researching away on the computers, while A Pimp Named Spikeback watched his lifelong friend work. The lavender unicorn was working away regularly when Big Macintosh finally walked in, causing both her and the baby dragon to turn to face him.
"Well look who finally woke his ass up. It's about time you joined us Mister Big Mac," the baby dragon told Big Macintosh as he trotted into the room.
"Hello Big Macintosh, you're looking, er....nice today," Ponyville's resident egghead unicorn hesitantly added.
"Don't worry bout it none Twilight, I know I must look plum terrible," Big Macintosh replied.
"Terrible? You got a big ass black eye after getting your flank handed to you by a mare and all you think you look like is terrible? Boy, you look like shit," A Pimp Named Spikeback bluntly told the red colt.
"Hey, don't be harsh to him like that." Twilight was glaring at her former assistant.
"Don't worry, he's right. Rarity sure did do a number on me." Big Macintosh then looked around the room filled with technology. "What's all this fancy stuff?"
"Mister Big Mac, this here is one of the most advanced tech rooms in all of Equestria. These computers are able to research anything. So I, being the amazing helper that I am, am utilizing their power to assist you," A Pimp Named Spikeback told the stallion.
"Interesting. So you know how to work all of this fancy stuff?" an impressed Big Macintosh asked.
"Hell no. You need to be some kind of brainiac to work this stuff. That's why my friend Miss Sparkle is here. She's using it to find out some info about your bitch," the baby dragon explained.
"Info about Cheerilee?" the now confused colt asked in response. "Like what?"
"Well Big Mac, A Pimp Named Spikeback told me your story, and he wanted me to find out what Cheerilee has been up to, so we can figure out why she's been avoiding you, and if she's up to something," the lavender unicorn told Big Mac as she returned to the computer and typed away on it.
"Up to something? Y'all don't think she's cheating on me or any nonsense like that do ya?" Big Macintosh started to become worried from Twilight Sparkle's words.
A Pimp Named Spikeback said nothing, and glanced at his friend sitting in front of the computer. Twilight bit her lip and thought about what to say, before turning back to Big Macintosh to reply.
"Well thus far, I haven't been able to find out hardly anything about what Cheerilee has been up to for the past few weeks. She seems to be a pretty reserved mare. That is, until I was able to hack into Equestria Mail's records and see copies of some letters she has requested to send in the past week. And.....she's been talking to somepony. A colt."
Big Macintosh's heart sank. There was no way this could be true. He loved Cheerilee, and she loved him back. There was no way she could be cheating on him with another colt.....could it? Big Mac was silent for a while, taking in what Twilight had just told him. For a while he just felt depressed. More depressed than he had in the entire past few weeks combined. After a while, however, an emotion that Big Mac very rarely felt started to emerge. An emotion that he was hardly capable of, being such a kind hearted colt. As he stood there, his sadness disappeared and it was replaced with one single emotion. Anger. A Pimp Named Spikeback and Twilight Sparkle watched Big Macintosh closely, waiting for what he would say or do. Finally, he asked one simple question.
"Who?" the red colt asked, letting the anger sound apparent in his voice.
"His name is Prince Blueblood," Twilight replied, starting to get worried by the tone of Big Macintosh's voice. "I'm familiar with him. He lives in Canterlot with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. He's actually Princess Celestia's nephew. The letters that I read sent between the two of them had them talking about meeting up on, as luck would have it, today."
Big Macintosh stood silent again. There were so many things to think about, and so many questions to ask. Big Macintosh may not have known where to start, but he did know that his anger was becoming even more intense, and as he thought of Prince Blueblood, his anger turned to hate.
"Why is she talking to him?" Big Mac finally asked.
"I honestly don't know. Rarity actually met him at the Grand Galloping Gala, and from what she told us, he sounds like a terrible colt. He's rude, and a snob, and only cares about himself. I have no idea why Cheerilee would want to talk to him," Twilight replied to the hate filled stallion.
"Miss Sparkle, if I may, I actually can see why Mister Big Mac's bitch is talking to Blueblood as clear as day," A Pimp Named Spikeback stated. "Just think about it. Mister Big Mac here is a poor country pony that's always working, who always thinks of everypony else before he thinks of himself, and is shy and quiet as hell. Prince Blueblood, on the other hoof, is filthy rich and of high class, he never has to work for a minute of his life, is only worried about himself, and is proud and sociable." The baby dragon turned to face Big Macintosh, who was filling up with more rage as A Pimp Named Spikeback spoke. "Putting it simply Mister Big Mac, he's everything that you are not. He's like the complete oposite of you. That is why your bitch is talking with him."
"When is she meeting him?" Big Macintosh asked Twilight, furious after hearing the baby dragon's explanation.
"Well, their letters never talked about a specific time, just about meeting today. Since Blueblood lives with Princess Celestia, I had A Pimp Named Spikeback send her a letter a couple of minutes ago to see if she knew," the lavender unicorn replied.
As soon as Twilight finished saying this, A Pimp Named Spikeback let out a fiery belch, and sure enough, a letter from Princess Celestia herself appeared. The dragon pimp picked it up and opened it.
"My most faithful student, I am actually aware of Cheerilee's visit today, and I can confirm that she is indeed meeting Prince Blueblood here. From what he has told me, she will be meeting her at six this evening. I hope this information helps." A Pimp Named Spikeback lied down the letter to signify that it was finished.
"Six? That's just in one more hour," Twilight quickly exclaimed.
Big Macintosh's heart began to race. There was no way he could let this happen. He couldn't lose Cheerilee, and he certainly couldn't lose her to someone such as Prince Blueblood. By now his whole being was completely filled with rage, and he was ready to act.
"So be it. A Pimp Named Spikeback, let's go. We have a Prince to visit," the red stallion told A Pimp Named Spikeback.
"Big Mac, Canterlot is decently far away, and we may not even make it there in time if we left now. I say just let the bitch go, Whatever happens, happens. So what if you lose the bitch? How about I set you up on a consolation date with Candy Cane free of charge?" the purple suit wearing dragon offered.
"NO. Now you listen here, and you listen good. Mah sister went out of her way to get me some help, and I sure as hay ain't gonna just stand here and let her efforts be for nothing. Now ah don't give a flying feather if you want to or not, the point is, my sister hired you to help me. So that's exactly what you're gonna do. You're taking me to Canterlot right now, and that's that." Big Macintosh finished yelling at A Pimp Named Spikeback and turned to face the door. He started to walk to signify that he was ready to head to Canterlot immediately.
"Ahh, I see how it is. Now the colt is getting angry and getting some base in his voice. Now you want to take charge, is that it?" A Pimp Named Spikeback asked.
"That's right bitch . Now let's go," the impatient red colt snapped back.
The dragon king of swag had a large grin on his face. Big Macintosh was finally taking charge and ready to set his mare straight. It seemed like this would once again be another success for A Pimp Named Spikeback. The dragon pimp followed Big Macintosh towards the door, but stopped once he reached it. He turned to face Twilight Sparkle, who was still stunned from the aggressiveness she had just witnessed from Big Mac.
"Thanks again for your help Miss Sparkle," A Pimp Named Spikeback told the lavender unicorn. "I couldn't have gotten Big Mac to listen to reason without you."
With that, the baby dragon walked out of the room and followed Big Macintosh to leave for Canterlot. Twilight sat there for a while, still stunned by what had occurred.
"Dear Celestia, what have I done?" Twilight put her face in her hooves."I don't know what's going to happen between them when they get to Canterlot, but whatever happens.......it won't end well."
After leaving A Pimp Named Spikeback's mansion, Big Mac and the dragon pimp made their way to the Ponyville train station, just in time to board a train leaving for Canterlot. Soon enough, the duo arrived in the royal city, and it couldn't have been soon enough for the red colt. As soon as the train arrived at his destination, Big Mac bolted out the door to check the time. He found a clock standing inside of the Canterlot train station building and read out the time.
"6:05." The stallion thought to himself as the baby dragon accompaning him joined him inside the train station.
"So I guess we're too late then," A Pimp Named Spikeback calmly said to Big Macintosh.
"Like hell we are. Come on, Twilight said that ass lives with Princess Celstia, so we're going to the castle now." Before the purple suit wearing dragon could protest, Big Mac grabbed him by the suit with his teeth and placed A Pimp Named Spikeback on his back. As soon as he was safely on his back, Big Macintosh started galloping as fast as his hooves could carry him toawrds Canterlot Castle.
"Whoa now. Boy this ain't no regular old castle we're talking about here, this is the home to Equestria's Princeses. Do you expect to just casually walk in uninvited?" A Pimp Named Spikeback asked the impatient colt.
"You know Princess Celstia don't ya?" Big Macintosh quickly asked back.
"Well yeah, but-"
"But nothing," Big Mac said, cutting off the dragon king of swag. "She knows you, so I don't think they'll mind none that we're paying them a visit. Now we ain't got no time to lose."
Big Macintosh sped up his pace even faster, fueled by the horrible thoughts of losing Cheerilee to Prince Blueblood. Dozens of high class unicorns walking the streets of Canterlot were very much confused by the site of a frantic red earth pony blazing down the streets while a baby dragon pimp rode on his back, but Big Macintosh was gone before they knew it. Big Mac was a colt on a mission, and nopony was going to stop him from reaching Cheerilee before it was too late. A Pimp Named Spikeback simply tightly held on to his cane and hat, making sure not to accidently lose them while riding Big Macintosh.
It didn't take long for Big Macintosh to reach Canterlot Castle, thanks to the incredible speed he had ran to it. Once he reached the stairs, he cantered up them and was greeted by two of Princess Celestia's personal guard ponies.
"Hold it right there," One of the guard's told Big Mac.
"Listen guys, I really need to get inside right now. It's really important. Please let me through," the red stallion pleaded to the guardsmen.
"You're not going anywhere buddy," responded the other guard. "Not unless you have royal buisness with Celestia. And I highly doubt you have that."
"Guys it's cool. He's with me." A Pimp Named Spikeback hopped off of Big Mac's back to show the guard ponies who had just spoke.
"Spike? We haven't seen you in months! What's with the getup?" asked the first guard.
"It's a long story, but as my friend here said, we are in a hurry. Would you guys kindly let us in?" the baby dragon asked.
"Of course," the other guard pony responded.
The guards turned to the doors and opened them, letting Big Macintosh and A Pimp Named Spikeback walk inside.
"Sorry about being rude a little bit ago," one of the guards told Big Mac. "Any friend of Spike is welcome here."
"Don't worry about. Hey, y'all wouldn't have happened to see Prince Blueblood and a mare come through here, did ya?" asked Big Mac.
"Yes, actually. They came in just a couple of minutes before the two of you. They shouldn't be hard to find," the other guard responded.
"Thank ya kindly gentlemen." Big Macintosh immediatley started galloping through the castle to check the room for Cheerilee and Blueblood's location. A Pimp Named Spikeback turned to the guards.
"Thanks for the help fellas. And by the way, the name ain't Spike no more. You can call me A Pimp Named Spikeback." The baby dragon then ran to catch up with the frantic red colt running through Canterlot Castle. The two guard ponies watched them curiously and began to think.
"Why was Spike talking like that?" one of the guards to the other.
"Why did he want us to call him A Pimp Named Spikeback?" asked the other in response.
The guards stood still for a small while pondering these questions, but they ultimatley shrugged it off, and returned to their position outside of the entrance into the castle.
Big Macintosh search numerous rooms in the gigantic caslte, while A Pimp Named Spikeback struggled to keep up. Big Macintosh had searched the kitchen, the ballroom, the library, and even the bathrooms for his marefriend and the royal prince. He was almost ready to give up hope of finding them until he heard a faint voice. He wasn't able to understand what the voice was saying, but as he listened closer, there was one thing he was certain about.
"That's Cheerilee's voice." Big Macintosh took off as fast as lightning in the direction of the voice. A Pimp Named Spikeback, who had only just caught up with the red colt, let out a sigh, and contined to follow his client.
As Big Mac continued to run, he could hear the voice becoming closer and closer. The voice lead him to the incredibly large dinning hall. The room was guargantuan, and asides from a massive dinning table in the middle of the room, it was also very open. Big Mac, however, could still not see Cheerilee, despite the fact that he could clearly hear her voice nearby, Big Mac checked every corner of the room, despratley trying to find the source of his mare friend's voice. As he was checking under the dinning room table, A Pimp Named Spikeback finally found his way to the dinning hall as well, out of breath from runing to keep up with Big Macintosh. The red stallion looked up to see the baby dragon enter the room.
"A Pimp Named Spikeback, ah hear her voice, but ah don't see her. I don't know where she could be at all," Big Mac sadly told the dragon pimp.
A Pimp Named Spikeback simply looked to his side, then turned to face Big Mac once again.
"You dumbass. You can't see here because she's outside, not in here." A Pimp Named Spikeback pointed to where he had just looked, where a large open door to the garden set. Big Mac quickly ran over to the open door, and sure enough, he could finally see Cheerilee. As always, she looked beautiful to him, with her purple coat and pink hair looking amazing. However, Big Mac also saw someone else outside near Cheerilee. A white unicorn stallion with long blond hair, dressed in a lavish formal suit. Even though he had never seen him before, Big Macintosh didn't have to question who it was. It was none other than Prince Blueblood himself. Once again, Big Mac was consumed by rage. Just looking at the high class colt boiled Big Macintosh's blood.
"Well, you just gonna stand here like an idiot, or are you gonna go smack a bitch?" Big Mac looked down at A Pimp Named Spikeback after the baby dragon said this. Big Mac let out a sigh and returned his gaze to the 2 ponies outside.
"Ah think I'm ready," the red colt responded.
"That's what I like to hear. I'll wait right here, you handle this. Remember what I taught you," the baby dragon told Big Mac. The earth pony nodded and started trotting straight up to Cheerilee and Blueblood. Because their back were to Big Macintosh, they didn't notice the fuming red stallion that was approaching them until he was directly behind them and spoke.
"Cheerilee," Big Macintosh hissed out.
Both Cheerilee and Prince Blueblood turned to see the angry colt behind them. Both looked shocked to see him behind them, although Cheerilee looked a tiny bit more surprised.
"Big Mac, what are you doing here?" she asked her furious colt friend.
"Cheerilee, ah know I may not be the smartest pony in Equestria, but I ain't no idiot. I know what's going on here," Big Mac responded, letting the anger in his voice sound obvious.
"What do you mean what's going on here? Big Mac is there a problem?" the contused purple mare asked.
"IS THERE A PROBLEM?" Cheerilee was taken back by how loud Big Macintosh had just yelled. Prince Blueblood was also beginning to become frightened of the strange red colt. "Of course there's a problem! Did you think I wouldn't have a problem with you cheating on me with this stuck up snob?"
"I...what? Big Mac what are you talking about?" the baffled teacher pony responded.
"That's right. I found out about the letters y'all were sending each other to get together today and do Celestia knows what," a furious Big Macintosh retorted. "A Pimp Named Spikeback over there helped me figure everything out."
Big Mac pointed his hoof at the dragon pimp that was standing in the doorway to the dinning room, who was watching them intently to see what would happen. The baby dragon gave a slight nod when Big Mac pointed to him. Cheerilee and Prince Blueblood looked at A Pimp Named Spikeback in confusion for a short while before returning their gaze to Big Macintosh.
"Is that Spike? Big Mac, what's going on here?" Cheerilee was incredibly confused. She couldn't make heads or tails of the situation that was unfolding.
"What's happening is that you and me are going home right now ," Big Mac hissed out through gritted teeth.
"Now you wait just a minute you ruffian, I-"
"You shut your damn mouth right now rich boy," Big Mac told Blueblood, cutting him off mid sentence. The shocked Prince quickly complied with the earth ponies command.
"Come on Cheerilee, we're going home right now," Big Macintosh said, returning his attention to his still very confused mare friend.
"Big Mac wait a minute. What are you talking about? Why are you acting like this?" Cheerilee was now very concerned about how her colt friend was acting.
"Cheerilee, ah said that we're going home NOW ," the red stallion demanded.
"We're not going anywhere until you explain yourself," Cheerilee snapped back.
At that moment, A Pimp Named Spikeback's words echoed in Big Macintosh's mind.
"If she continues to misbehave, then that's when you got to slap a bitch. "
Big Mac gulped. He looked back to A Pimp Named Spikeback, simply looking, as if simply asking with his eyes if he should go through with it. The suit wearing dragon seemed to understand the red colt's look, for he nodded at Big Macintosh. The red colt turned back to face the two ponies who were watching him carefully. Big Mac sighed.
"Alright, if that's how it's gonna be, then there's only one thing to do."
Neither Cheerilee nor Prince Blueblood knew what Big Macintosh meant by this, but they didn't have much time to ponder it, for they could already see the red colt about to take action. Big Macintosh raised his hoof and then brought it back, preparing to smack his target. Cheerilee's eyes grew wide as she realized what Big Macintosh was about to do. In a flash, Big Macintosh's hoof snapped forward, coming near the purple mare's face. She closed her eyes and braced herself for the incoming hit. And then the sound rang threw the entire royal garden.
*SMACK*
There was an eerie silence for a short while. Big Mac was out of breath, taken back by what he had just done. A Pimp Named Spikeback, who was observing the scene from the doorway, had his jaw dropped by the sight he had just seen. Birds were scattering in the skies above, having been frightened by the sound of the hit. And then Cheerilee opened her eyes.
There wasn't a mark on her. Despite the fact that she had saw her colt friend's hoof flying towards her face, and had heard the sound of a hit connecting, she was perfectly fine. For a little while she was confused. That is, until she looked next to her and saw Prince Blueblood, who had just been knocked to the floor by the force of Big Macintosh's blow. A couple of the high class unicorn's teeth had been knocked from his mouth by the blow, and a small amount of blood covered his lips and the ground where he had landed. The unicorn looked up at Big Macintosh in shock and horror, still in disbelief that the earth pony had just strucken royalty.
"Listen here buddy, this here is MY mare friend. I love her, and you can't take her away from me. Do you hear me? You can't take her away from me!" Big Mac was in tears as he spoke, yet still letting anger flow through his voice.
"Big Mac, what in the name of Celestia are you doing? I'm not here to cheat on you with Prince Blueblood," the shocked teacher told Big Macintosh.
"Huh? But the letters said you were going to meet him here," a now confused Big Macintosh responded.
"Yes, for him to give my class a tour of the royal castle for the Canterlot field trip," Cheerilee told Big Mac.
"Field trip?" Big Macintosh looked behind him. In the excitement of the situation, he failed to notice the numerous little colts and fillies that were strolling through the royal garden, observing the various flowers, animals, and statues that it held. However, the fuss that Big Mac had caused had caught the attention off all of them, and Big Macintosh found himself being watched by dozens of young ponies.
"Yes Big Mac, field trip. The third grade has a field trip to Canterlot every year, don't you remember? Your sister went on the same trip this time last year, right before Discord was released," Cheerilee told the stallion in an annoyed tone.
As Big Macintosh though, the situation was finally beginning to make sense. Unfortunately, it was also beginning to make him realize how large of a mistake he had just made. Also in the confusion of the situation, nopony noticed that a certain baby dragon has stepped away from his observation point, and was on his way to exit the castle after realizing the awkwardness of what was occurring in the garden.
"And during this trip, Prince Blueblood here was giving the kids a tour of Canterlot Castle. We were just talking about Canterlot while the kids got to roam the gardens free for a minute when you barged in." Cheerilee was also forming tears in her eyes. "Why would you think I was cheating on you? I mean, for Celestia's sake Big Mac, I love you. I would never cheat on you."
Big Mac felt terrible about the mistake he had made, and even more terrible that he ever though Cheerilee was cheating on him as soon as he heard her say these words.
"Cheerilee I......I'm sorry. I've been mighty foolish today. Ah just don't know what to say I-"
"Ahem,"
Big Mac and Cheerilee turned to see Prince Blueblood, who had just cut the red stallion off. By the royal prince's sides were at least six guard ponies, all of whom had their eye's locked on Big Mac for striking Blueblood. Prince Blueblood was staring a hole through the red stallion.
"Uh Cheerilee?" Big Macintosh asked his mare friend.
"Yeah Big Mac?" she responded.
"You reckon we should start running?" the red colt calmly asked back.
Cheerilee looked around at the many guard ponies.
"I think that would be a good idea," Cheerilee finally responded. She looked back to her class that was watching everything going on curiously.
"Alright class, I hope you've enjoyed this tour of Canterlot Castle because we need to leave right now," Cheerilee told her young student calmly, in her usually cheery nature. Unfortunately, the young ponies didn't quite understand why their teacher had told them this and simply stood where they were. "My little ponies, I don't think you really understand. Let me put it simply for you." Cheerilee cleared her throat and calmly looked back to her students.
"RUN !"
The young ponies finally comprehended what their teacher had told them, and immediately took off to exit the castle, running as fast as they could. Big Macintosh and Cheerilee followed them closely behind as the guard ponies began to chase them out. They all ran as fast as they could, and soon were outside of the royal castle, galloping away from it as fast as their hooves could manage. The guard ponies ceased following them after they were out of the castle. Prince Blueblood watched the ponies leave with a scowl on his face, holding the teeth that Big Macintosh had smacked out of them, still having some blood stained into the fur around his mouth.
"Stupid common ponies."
Cheerilee and Big Macintosh sat at the bottom of one of the many hills in Sweet Apple Acres as the sun began to set. After escaping from the royal castle, the two of them, along with the school ponies, had boarded a train and immediately returned to Ponyville. Once the parents of the children came to take their kids home, the couple decided to talk things out somewhere private. They chose none other than the bottom of the hill where they had had their first picnic, where their relationship first blossomed. They sat there for a while nuzzling, simply enjoying the sunset. Eventually, Big Macintosh finally described the events of today to his mare friend. Everything from Applejack's concern for him, to his painful lesson with A Pimp Named Spikeback and Rarity, and finally the information that Twilight Sparkle had revealed to Big Mac, per A Pimp Named Spikeback's request.
"So then we made our way up to Canterlot, and, well, you know the rest," the red stallion said, finishing his tale.
"Hmm, so that's what you've been through today?" Cheerilee asked her colt friend.
"Eeeyup," he plainly replied.
"Well it certainly sounds like you've had quite the day Big Mac." Cheerilee chuckled, which brought forth a smile on to Big Macintosh's face. "So I take it how you were acting back there was all his doing?"
"Eeeyup," Big Mac said again. " And Cheerilee I'm mighty sorry. I've been a plum fool today, and I had no right treating you like how I did back there. Ah can promise you that I ain't ever gonna act like that again. I was just so worried about losing you that I just broke down. Can you ever forgive me?"
The purple earth pony responded by giving Big Mac a quick kiss.
"Big Mac, of course I forgive you," she told the red stallion.
Big Mac let out a large sigh. It felt as if a gigantic weight had just been lifted from his shoulders.
"And you know, maybe most of what Spike, er, or I guess what A Pimp Named Spikeback told you today is pretty ludicrous, but not everything he told you was false," Cheerilee added.
"Really? Like what?" Big Macintosh responded.
"Well he's right that you do need to voice your opinions about things, especially if they make you feel bad. And he's right that I do need to take a little more consideration of your wants too. I guess I got so used to you waiting on me hand and hoof, that when you wanted to spend time with me, when I honestly could have probably made time for you, I turned you down. And for that, I'm really sorry, and I promise things will be different now." Cheerilee threw her arms around Big Macintosh in a large hug. "Can you ever forgive me for that?"
Big Mac smiled and returned the hug.
"Eeeyup," the red stallion responded as happy tears began to form in his eyes.
Cheerilee began forming tears of her own as they continued their embrace.
"Just promise me one thing Big Mac," Cheerilee told her colt friend while looking up to him.
"And what's that?" he responded.
"If we ever have another problem in our relationship, please don't go to a baby dragon pimp for help. I don't want my colt friend getting any more black eyes. I love you too much to see you get hurt like that," the mare told Big Macintosh.
"I love you too Cheerilee." Big Mac smiled and continued to hug his mare friend. "And I promise."
The couple broke their embrace and cuddled up with each other to enjoy the remainder of the beautiful sunset. As they watched it, the didn't notice that on top of the hill that they were at the bottom of was a certain figure. A certain purple suit wearing dragon, holding a gem encrusted cane, and donning a slick white hat with a red feather sticking out from it. He looked down on the happy couple below them and smiled.
"Another successful job completed by A Pimp Named Spikeback," he thought to himself.
The dragon king of swag turned and made his leave from Sweet Apple Acres, ready to continue to spread his mighty pimp wisdom wherever it was needed.
THE END
Chapter 2: Applejack's Plan
Applejack ran outside and made her way over to the barn. As she walked in she saw Granny Smith busy sorting apples.
“Why there you are Applejack. How did the talk with Big Mac go?” Granny Smith asked AJ as she ran into the barn.
“No time for details Granny, but long story short, I got him to tell me what’s bothering him and I thought of a way to help him. Where’s Apple Bloom?” Applejack asked rapidly as she looked all around the barn for her little sister.
“Well her two little friends came by and they went on over to their tree house,” Granny Smith said in response to Applejack.
“Thanks Granny, I’ll tell you more later, but I got to go talk to Apple Bloom right now. See you at lunch.”
And with that Applejack galloped out of the barn at top speeds leaving a confused Granny Smith to go back to sorting apples and wonder what it was that Applejack was planning now.
“Alright girls, today really WILL be the day that we finally get out cutie marks. I just know it!” Apple Bloom excitedly said to her two friends in their tree house.
“What should we try today first?” asked Scootaloo. “Bungee jumping? Pro wrestling?”
“Oh, how about rock climbing?”added Sweetie Belle.
“Actually girls, I have something I think you may be interested in doing.”
The three fillies turned around to see Applejack at the entrance of their tree house.
“Sis! How did the talk with Big Mac go? Is he ok? Is anything wrong with him?” Apple Bloom asked her older sister.
“Well girls, it would seem that Big Macintosh is in a bit of a bad situation in his relationship with Ms. Cheerilee,” Applejack told the fillies. “He needs some advice on what to do, but I don’t know a lick about relationship advice. I also don’t have any time to go find somepony who does on a count of me having to do apple bucking all day. So I was wondering if you girls could go in to Ponyville and ask around till you find somepony who can really help out Big Macintosh with his problem. That way we can finally see Big Mac happy again.”
“So, you want us to track down somepony so they can help Big Mac in his relationship?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Kind of like detectives!” Scootaloo excitedly exclaimed.
“Alright sis, we won’t let ya down!” Apple Bloom told her sister. “Alright girls, let’s use our detective skills to track down somepony to help my big brother and Ms. Cheerilee in their relationship!”
“Cutie Mark Crusader Detectives! YAY!”
In a flash, the 3 young fillies ran out from the tree house and into Ponyville, on a mission to find somepony to help Big Macintosh.
“I really hope you can find some help for him girls.” Applejack watched as the three fillies disappeared into the distance. She then looked around at the countless apple trees around her that needed to be bucked. “Guess it’s time to get to work for now.”
