Her Starry Sky

“Pip? Pip? You alive in there?” You ask the stunned little boy,shaking him several times hoping for a response, desperate to snap him out of this.

“I don't think you’re supposed to shake him.” advised Luna.

Luna is just standing there leaning over the counter as you try and wake Pip out of his faint spell.

“You got any other suggestions?” you snap back.

“Still thinking on it.” she says.

You utter unintelligible curses under your breath as you snap your fingers and wave your hand several times over Pip to try and wake him up. Nothing. Not a twitch, a jerk, or even breathing-no wait he's breathing. Good, he's not dead because trying to explain that to his parents would have ended in disaster. You already had that scene running through your head.

“What do you mean he's dead!” his mother would shriek.

“Well, he kinda... had a heart attack upon seeing Princess Luna.” you would answer.

“What!? Princess Luna!?”

“Well what had happened was..” you would begin.

Having fun?

You know how about I read your every thought and then see how you like it.

I'm standing here watching you shake a school boy like a rattle thinking about how you're going to explain to his mother how he died when you've already deduced he's alive. What do you want me to do?

I don't know! Fly casual!

How will flying help us in this situation-

It's a figure of speech get off my back!

I'm not on your back

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

This is followed by Luna nearly collapsing to the floor with laughter. You look to her with some contempt and anger plastered all over your face. After your silence for a few moments she looks to you with a silly grin across her face.

“Can you do something at least.” you beg her.

“Hmm, hold on! I have an idea!”

She runs off towards the other side of your house that you know has the bathroom.

You know I got a bucket in the sink over there, right?

Oh I know that doesn't work!

What do you mean that wont work! it always work!

You're not helping!

Sonofa-!

So as she rummages through your house trying to find whatever she needs, you are left to try and wake Pip with whatever means you have necessary. Seeing as shaking him wasn't working, and something telling you it was a bad idea, Luna shrieks. It rockets through your house so loud and fast your wings spread open and all your feathers spread out like you just got hit with lightning.

“What! What!?” you shout with fear.

Fear grips your soul as you think to various things Luna could have found. That old collection of porn magazines you got lying around somewhere? Those pictures Rainbow Dash took of the Spa duo Aloe and Lotus Blossom while Rarity was sleeping that you accidentally forgot to destroy? Twilight's vibrator; which is actually impossible since she never brought that here. Thinking on those subjects you suddenly realize that you and your friends have gotten into real messed up events that somehow involved sex in one form or another. You hear her running towards you and prepare for the worst, but nothing could prepare you for what came instead. She quickly appears holding one of the giant evil spiders that infest your house. You're blood runs cold as you leap into the air and hide atop your fridge as Luna looks on with delight.

“Look what I found!” she expresses with glee.

“Kill it with fire!” you scream with fear.

“Awe but why!? It's not harming anything!” she defends it, much to the things own happiness.

You can see the happy expression it's giving with it's eyes from here while you cower on your fridge: “Why do you think I was buying bug killer last time you were in town!?”

“Awe but they're harmless! Aren't you little guy?” she coos to it.

“You actually told me the ingredients to kill the damn things!” not believing she's actually defending the things.

“Well I thought they were a threat like last year when they attacked the town! Look at them though. Does this look dangerous to you?” She asks, making a pouty face next to the thing.

“YES! YES IT DOES! GET IT OUT OF MY HOUSE!” you shout at the top of the lungs.

“No!” comes Luna's defiant response.

“What!?” you respond exasperated over such an idea.

“This is “Our” house and I'm not getting rid of it. I made them, I know they're harmless!”

“They're creepy, evil, hairy, have red eyes, and 8 legs! I've killed at least four since last year!”

“Well it's no wonder they don't like you. They're staying and I forbid you to harm to these little creatures!”

“This is my house! I'll kill them if I want!”

“This is “Our” house, again! Don't harm them or I'll harm you!” she says, her voice bordering on her Equestrian voice.

You growl with anger and slowly get off from the top of your refrigerator. Mumbling incoherent curses under your breath you slowly make your way back to pip on the lookout for anymore spiders. Luna again is searching through object, and it sounds like she is opening a few windows as well. Rolling her eyes you wonder if she's trying to get fresh air circulating or something before getting water. Works or not that's the only option you got left and right now Pip is still out and there's spiders. Instead of running water you hear a window opening. Before your brain can even begin to question why she would need to open a window a gust of air specifically targets Pip and the boy wakes up with a start.

“What the!? How did that!?”

“Oh, hello Gray Flames! I had the most awesome dream in the world!”

“Really?” you ask, mainly out of reaction, your brain still trying to wrap around what just happened.

“You were there! And, and, and, Princess Luna was in your kitchen! In a bathrobe!”

That's actually a good question. Where did she get that bathrobe? I don't own one! Let alone a pink one!

Pip stops talking as your face makes a confused look as if you are pondering something. You continue to think on it and nearly have the answer you are looking for when a voice suddenly pops into your head.

It's mine. I brought it from Canterlot! I packed a suitcase. Now quit worrying about where I get my clothes and get Pip some water quickly!

“*sigh* Yes dear.” you say out loud

Now it's pips term to look confused. You sit the cowboy up and walk to get a glass of water before returning, much to his surprise.

“Who is “dear”? Is someone else here with us?” he asks you.

“Pip, I'm going to tell you something very important but I need you to promise me something.”

“Pinkie-Promise!?” Pip says enthusiastically.

“Yeah sure! That'll work! I need you to pinkie promise me you won’t pass out or tell anyone else okay!”

“What!? What is it!?” he begs with glee.

At that point, as if on cue which she was probably waiting for, Luna appears and smiles. This time however she changed her bathrobe for a simple blue sundress. She waves to the little boy yet again and while Pip stares mouth agape, he thankfully does not pass out. Of course sitting there gasping for air like a fish out of water wasn't all that better. You wave your hand rapidly in front of his face several times and snap your fingers hoping to bring him out of his trance, all to no avail. Despite how incredibly absurd Luna's statement was earlier: She may have actually broke him this time. You turn to her and shrug.

“Yeah, he doesn't normally do this.” you say, unable to think of anything else to say.

“As if this is normal for a child's reaction anywhere else.” chuckles Luna as she walks toward you.

“Yeah, I know you're his favorite and all, but I didn't think he'd have a fuse blown.”

“Funny. I actually know that phrase. I'm used to subjects bowing down before my presence and going out of their way to make sure everything is perfect for me and my sister. I'd never thought I'd find something more uncomfortable.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Is he dressed as a cowboy for Nightmare Night?” asked Luna.

You were about to answer when Pip's voice suddenly spoke for you: “Yes! It was Applebloom's idea.”

“Aand he's back!” you announce to the world, as if anyone was watching this.

“Princess Luna are you going as anything for Nightmare Night?”

“No, I think I'll go as myself again this year.”

“But you can't do that! You need a costume for Nightmare Night!”Shouts Pip.

“Whoa! Easy there buddy! Let's not go demanding what the Princess does on her holiday.” you say.

“No he's right.” speaks Luna.

“He is?” you question.

“Maybe it will be a good idea to go in a disguise and actually see how the town celebrates with them not cowering in fear or running for their lives every time they see me.”

“You got a point.” you say.

“So, what are you going as?” asks Pip.

Luna ponders on it for a second before snapping her fingers in inspiration. Her whole body glows with her magic before the Princess disappears into a cloud of purple sparkling smoke. As the haze begins to fade and settle away Luna is no longer there, instead replaced by a girl no older than 10 dressed as a black cat. While it's not blatantly obvious, you could tell it was Luna as a child.

“How did you?” you, and surprisingly Pip, ask at the same time.

“I can shape shift you know. I do it allot.” she says, her voice changed as well.

“Oh. Well, alright. I guess we'll just say you're Pip's Baltimare cousin or something. Or my cousin.”

“Which one?” asked Luna.

“Meh, you're married to me, so we'll go with mine.” you say.

“You married Princess Luna!” exclaims Pip with amazement.

“Oops.” is your response.

Nice going genius! Here we go again!

“That's so cool!” shouted Pip.

Or not

Acting quickly you grab Pip on both shoulders and hold him in a desperate bid to somehow contain his excitement.

“Okay, remember that Pinkie Promise? This is part of it! Don't tell anyone okay? Also, would you kindly calm down?”

“O-okay.” he squeaks out, his fervor over the discovery nearly causing him to jump out of his costume, and skin

“Okay then. Well it's.... the middle of the day.... again...” you comment, lamenting on your sleeping habits, “What are we going to do until it's-”

Your train of thought and speech was derailed by several rapid knocks at your door. You quickly shoot your head towards it and again it knocks several times.

“Now's who is at my door. I swear if it's that Guard I again I'mma punch him!”

You grumble as the knocking again flares up. This time it's so intense it threatens to tear down your door itself. You did love living in this town, but there were some problems with it. The occasional monster attack, how it seemed to be the epicenter for everything all of a sudden, that run in with Discord not too long ago, that for some odd reason you weren't too affected by. In fact, nothing seemed to happen to you.... that you could remember. The one thing though that this town had issues with, above all others, was the fact the townsfolk had a tendency to overreact to everything! Even a simple water main breaking was enough to cause a riot in some places! Not to mention when this town got angry it was one step away from full blown riot! That was bad because you and Vigilance were the closest thing to law enforcement in this town and neither of you were capable of handling a rampage. By now, though, whoever was banging on your door was almost banging it off it's hinges. Grabbing it you threw it open to reveal a pink poofy-haired pony standing there with a giant grin on her face.

“What the!?” comes the shout from your mouth..

You got it Equestria had some weird and odd creatures from Hydra's, dragons, Manticore's and a cerberus but technicolor ponies took the cake!

“Helllooo Gray Flames! Like my costume!? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya?”

As it talked it bounced, bucked, and moved as if it were a real animal. It made facial expressions, breathed. Either this thing was alive or someone used magic. That someone could only be the one person on this planet sounds like that or is ever this excited: “Pinkie Pie!?” comes your response.

“Well duh! Of course it's me! Who else would I be?”

“Why are you a pink, fluffy, little, cuddly pony?”

“Well last year I was a giant chicken, so the logical choice would be?”

“A giant duck?” you say.

“Uh no! A pony! Farm animals, duh!”

“I guess that makes sense.”

If it made sense to Pinkie, it made sense. You have learned not to argue with her over these things. Last time you two got into a argument over the existence of the fourth wall in entertainment. All you can say from the fallout of that was you were glad that part of that story is never going to be written.

“So, is that a costume... or is it a transformation spell Twilight cast on you?” you ask her, noticing the detail, right down to the pink fuzzy fur.

“Of course it's a costume!” she laughed quickly removing the head.

Pinkie suddenly sprouted from the body holding the head in her arms, all the while your mind wondering how those fore legs were still supporting the rest of her. She of course didn’t leave you much time to think on it.

“Why would I not wear a costume on Nightmare Night!? That's like not getting presents on Hearths Warming Eve!”

“We get presents?” confused over that concept.

“Yeah! Of course we do! Now if you'll excuse me!”

She quickly withdraws into her costume and puts the head back on. The costume somehow comes to life as if this was the actual Pinkie Pie.

“Ooooh! I just had an awesome awesome idea! Could you imagine a world full of ponies like this! Well, not just like this, but with Pegasus and Unicorns as well! That would be so cool! They could go on Pony adventures and sing songs and-”

As Pinkie went on and on on her little tangent all you could think in your mind was: A world full of technicolor ponies. Why does that seem so right? The fact that you were having a conversation with quite possibly one of those ponies right now didn't seem to phase you either. You wonder what you would look like as a pony? Pegasus of course. Gray fire, dark blue hair with light gray almost silver streaks in it. Sounds about right.

“Well I'm off to find Granny Smith and the other kids and start getting candy! Are you going with anyone?”

“Yeah I do! It's myself, Pip over there and Luuuuuuuuuuuuu…...lu. Pip and Lulu.” quickly covering what would have been a Pinkie Pie catastrophe.

“Lulu? Who is Lulu?”

“I am!” said Luna from afar.

You look back to see her waving towards Pinkie Pie excitedly.

“Ooh! Is she your cousin!?”

“How did you, never mind. Yes, yes she is.”

“Oh, wow, I didn't even know you had a cousin! I thought you would be hiding the fact that while taking your girlfriend Luna to meet your parents you two accidentally got married and she's hiding as your cousin so you two could be together.”

“What? No, no I'm not doing that!”

A pit forms in your stomach and you fear that she might be on to you. You could only imagine that Luna felt the same way. You didn't like keeping secrets like this from your friends, but Pinkie Pie had a tendency to overreact and would probably throw a wedding party to celebrate, and that was the last thing anyone would need right now.

“I could have sworn you were hiding that.” she replies with an inquisitive look.

“N-n-no of course not! That would be silly!” the nervousness in your response all too present.

“Yeah it kinda would be.” she says, all suspicion leaving her face like nothing ever happened.

How does she even-

It's Pinkie Pie. The more you question it, the more it's going to hurt.

“Oh well! I got to go! Time is candy and I'm missing out on time, which means I'm missing out on candy!”

You instantly raise an eyebrow and get a confused look: “But it's like high noon! How can you get candy now!? Everyone is still preparing!”

“Oh I know! That's why we just make it candy time right now!”

“Huh?”

Now Pinkie was making no sense.

“See you at the festival Gray Flames! Bye now!”

“What is she talki-

***

ng about-Where am I?”

You suddenly find yourself not in the comfort of your own home but in the middle of one of Ponyville's many grass and cobblestone streets. Pinkie Pie was nowhere to be seen, gone off somewhere to collect candy. Kids and their parents were everywhere going from house to house getting their own candy and other goodies while you yourself felt a little heavier. Catching a glimpse in the window you suddenly notice you are decked out in your armor complete with the sword. Out of all the messed up stuff that just happened right now one thing was certain: You look damn fine in this armor. Admiring your reflection for a few more moments you suddenly hear two little pairs of feet running up.

“Gray Flames! Look at all the candy I got!” exclaimed Luna.

“Me too!” cheered Pip.

“Okay, you two want to go to the festival now?” you find yourself saying.

“Awe just a few more houses?” asks Pip.

“But we've already hit twelve houses on this block!” We have!?

“Just few more?” pleads Pip.

At this point your mind seems at ease and chalks another score for Pinkie Pie and just run with where this story is now going: “Do you want to miss out on the fair in town!? You get more candy there anyway!”

Sadly for you and so very fortunate for Pip, Luna comes to his rescue: “Just five more please!”

She gives you a pouty lip and big puppy eyes and whatever motor function runs your heart completely stops and you can't resist it. You try and hold out, but at the end you break down literally to your knees and give in.

“Alright a few more then we go or we're gonna miss everything, alright. Just no more face, alright!”

Luna gives a sly smile and Pip jumps into the air and runs off. You give a glare to the grinning Luna.

“You're going to pay for that.” you growl.

“Oh you will get your pays due with interest.” she says before leaning in close to your ear:

“Because this is my night and I am going to deliver you my all!”

“Oh!” you say perking up.

Maybe it was wrong you were getting advances by a little girl, but hey she is your wife! Standing back up you follow her as she runs to catch up with Pip. Tonight was going to get very interesting.