"Whattya wanna do tonight?"
Colts' Night Out!
Cadance, Shining Armor, Twilight, and all of her friends sat at an outdoor cafe in Ponyville, the ponies enjoying a brunch, Spike enjoying a delicious citrine. "You know," he said, "They're called citrines, but they taste like cotton candy!"
Cadance laughed. "I wonder what Crystal Empire gems taste like!"
"I bet the parasprites know!" Twilight said.
"Parasprites?" Spike asked. "Is that why you asked to stay in Ponyville on such short notice?"
"Yeah," Cadance said, her head bowing a bit. "Our house has been almost completely eaten by now. We're gonna be here for a long time while it's being built back up."
"It's okay," Pinkie chirped. "Ponyville is just as much fun as the Empire!"
"We have shopping and restaurants rivaled only by Canterlot!" Rarity interjected. "Me, Pinkie and Fluttershy used to have quite the nightlife before Twilight moved here. Not that you're bringing us down, though, dear!"
"That's alright," Twilight said, "I'm just shocked that Fluttershy likes to party!"
Fluttershy blushed. "I'm not a total recluse! I prefer to be home with my animals, but I do like to have fun once in a great while."
"IDEEEA!" Rarity squeaked. "Cadance, why don't you go out with all of us tonight? We can show you just how much fun Ponyville is!"
"I'd love to do that!" she chimed.
"You know," Twilight said, "I've never really been on a girls' night out before."
"Oh, don't worry, dear!" Rarity said. "I'm sure you'll have a great time!"
"Well, then," Twilight said, leaving, "If you guys don't mind, I'm gonna go finish reshelving all those books so I'll have extra time to get ready."
"I'll help you," Cadance said, going with her, "It's the least I can do to thank you for letting me stay at the library."
"I think I'll take leave of you, too, if you don't mind," Rarity said, also leaving, "I'd like to buff my hooves and curl my mane."
"I'll go feed Angel," Fluttershy said, she also leaving.
"I'll go finish power washing the barn," Applejack said, also leaving.
"I'll...eh, I'll go take a nap," Rainbow Dash said, yawning as she left.
"I'll go finish planning Applejack's surprise birthday- er, I mean, I'll go feed Gummy!" Pinkie said, blushing and running away at light speed.
"And I'll go- wait, I'm not going with them," Spike said. Only he and Shining Armor were left. "Looks like it'll just be me and you at the library tonight," Shining Armor said sadly. "Well, no," Spike said, not wanting him to be sad. "What if, uh, we went out tonight! I can introduce you to my friend Big Macintosh!"
Spike grinned, and Shining Armor smiled sheepishly. "I guess..."
"Whoo hoo!" Spike cheered. "Par-tay!"
***
"Whoo hoo," Spike said unenthusiastically about six hours later. "Par-tay."
He, Shining Armor, and Big Macintosh sat at an outdoor restaurant, twiddling the thumbs they didn't have. "So," Spike said, "Watcha guys thinking about?"
Shining Armor sighed. "I miss Cadance," he said, "I wonder how she's doing."
"Oookay," Spike said, "How about you, Big Mac?"
He looked down shyly and didn't say a word.
Spike sighed. "I wonder if the girls are just as bored as us," he thought.
"HI THERE BIG MAC!"
The three looked up to see who was shrieking. It was Twilight! She and the others were covered in feather boas, plastic beads, and confetti. Twilight blew Big Mac a kiss, and Cadance giggled. "Having fun there, honey?" Cadance yelled. Shining Armor and Big Mac sank under the table embarrasedly as they walked away, but not before Fluttershy winked at Shining Armor in a way that married stallions should not be winked at.
Spike stared into the distance, catching the eye of a lone unicorn. He shyly averted his eyes and sighed. "That guy is alone and I bet he's having a better time than us."
He got up from the table. "I'm gonna use the little dragons' room," he said to the two stallions still under the table.
Spike wiped his face with a paper towel. He opened his eyes to see the same unicorn washing his hooves. "Rough night?" he asked. "I wish!" Spike said. "One of my friends doesn't talk, and the other would rather be with his wife!"
The unicorn looked around. "You know," he said, "You're a lucky little dragon. I might be able to help you out there. I happen to be a pharmacist."
"A what?" Spike said.
"I'm a pharmacist," he said, "I make potions that make ponies feel better. Or, in your case, I can make your situation better."
"Whattya mean?" Spike asked, interested.
"Well," he said, making a small bottle appear, "I call this 'The Icebreaker...'"
Spike poured the contents of the bottle into the drinks he just ordered for the two stallions, who had gotten out from under the table but still weren't talking. "Hey guys," he said, setting the glasses down, "Want something to drink?" They both took a swig, and they dropped the glasses, their heads falling. "Uh, you guys okay?"
Big Mac looked up. Shining Armor looked up. They looked at each other.
"Are you guys..."
Big Mac jumped on top of the table and hollered. "YEE-HAW! I ain't felt like this since my first visit to Appleloosa! WHOO!"
Spike caught the unicorn's eye, and the unicorn smiled. "And how are you, Shining Armor?"
Shining Armor slowly looked up. "I feel like..."
He jumped up and grabbed an unsuspecting mare from the table behind them and kissed her. "PAAAAAAARRRRRRTAAAAAAAAAY!"
The two took off down the street at light speed. "No! Come back!" Spike yelled. He looked back at the other table where the unicorn was, and he had vanished.
"What have I done?" Spike thought.
He ran as fast as his stubby legs could take him after the two party ponies, but he just wasn't fast enough. They quickly disappeared from view, and he stopped running, defeated. He sat on the curb and held his head in his hands. "I just wanted to have some fun!" he sobbed. "I guess I shouldn't have pushed them like this. I shouldn't have suggested doing this in the first place!"
As he was about to head home to the library, he heard the ground rumble. It was Big Mac and Shining Armor being chased by an angry mob!
"RUN, bro!" Shining Armor yelled. Spike gaped at them. "Whu..."
Big Mac threw him onto his back and kept on running. "We gone and messed up real bad!"
"You've only been out of my sight for five minutes!" Spike uttered, holding onto Big Mac's mane for dear life. "What did you do?"
"He kissed my wife!" one angry mare said. "He smashed the cake I was carrying!" said another. "He gave my friend a black eye!" another said.
"Really guys?" Spike said. They turned a corner to try to get the mob off their tails, but they succeeded in following them, and even more joined the mass. Now half of Ponyville was chasing the three, most just joining the fray because it looked like fun.
They were starting to near the cliff on the edge of town, and Spike knew that the stallions' potion-addled minds would cause them to run off the edge of it without even realizing it. He braced himself for the worst.
"HALT!" somepony yelled. A squad of police ponies stood in the middle of the street. "You party boys can come down to the station with us!" one said.
"NEVAR!" Shining Armor declared, hitting the police pony with a heavy hoof. Before Spike knew what was going on, they were engaged in a hoof fight with the police. Six officers were barely enough to handle the adrenaline filled stallions, and Spike had to jump left and right to avoid being stepped on. After he felt like the two were going to somehow take down the whole herd with their bare hooves, reinforcements came in and subdued the fighting stallions. "You're under arrest for assault and disorderly conduct!" a burly officer boomed. Big Mac gave Spike a look that said, "You're gonna get it later, bro."
***
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"
"Shut up, Cadance."
Cadance feigned shock at her husband. "WELL," she scoffed, "It's not like I'M gonna be the one to bail you out or anything!"
Shining Armor spoke to his wife on the phone, and Big Mac stared at the ground, humiliated beyond belief. Spike sat with them also, having confessed that all of this was his fault. "Can I talk to Twilight?" Spike asked.
"Sure!" said a familiar voice. "Hey, Twi," Spike said. "So what have we learned today?" Twilight said mockingly. "I shouldn't have pushed them to do something they didn't want to. I knew that Big Mac would be shy, and I knew that Shining Armor doesn't like to do things without Cadance. I'm really sorry, guys."
"Actually," Shining Armor said, having hung the phone up, "When you were in the restroom we got to talking a little. Big Mac is a pretty cool guy. I was gonna suggest we go play laser tag after dinner but then all this happened. You know, I love Cadance with all my heart, but it's nice to just hang out with guy friends once in a while."
"That's funny," Twilight said, "Cadance couldn't stop talking about how she wanted to be with you all night! She only stopped once we started playing truth or dare in the restaurant and Pinkie dared her to eat a whole Mega Fudge Sundae Cake! She got quite the sugar rush after that!"
"Something just occurred to me!" Spike said. "When I opened the potion bottle it smelled really familiar..."
"How?"
"It smells just like the special ingredient Pinkie puts in her morning tea!"
