A Chaotic Conundrum

by redblue293

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Romance, Comedy, Tragedy, Random
Length: 2676

Discord has been bored, no surprise there only this time he decides to do something about it. Humans were always chaotic fun, right?

Discord has been reformed, but that doesn't stop him from spreading some chaos. When one day he decides that little old boring Equestria could use a little bit more excitement he brings the four most chaotic humans he could find before Celestia takes notice. He gets a bit more than he expected when four humans explore the new world they found themselves in.

An HiE fic starring me and my three non-brony friends.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-04 01:02:14 UTC

Chpt 1: Discord's Plan

   Discord was bored. This seemed to have become a fact of life for him, and he dreaded every second of it. The temptation to just spread joyous chaos was oh so tempting on his mind. But to do so would mean a one way ticket straight back to stone, not even all the chocolate milk in the world was worth another second in that stoney prison. Then it came to him. A plan, and a chaotically delicious one at that. But first he'd need permission. Permission from Celestia.

×•×•×•× In the human world ×•×•×•×

   "Son of a bitch! *sigh* God damn it guys stop throwing the ball around and blow them the fuck up please." It was an average day for me and my three 'friends' a very loose term we used. We were playing Halo 4 grifball or trying to, Connor and Tony decided to just throw the ball between each other, while I complained for them to stop and play the game. All in while Nate laughed at my distress.

   "Oh quit complaining Zombie we're just having fun." Connor had replied back in his usual calm but dickish tone.

   "Back to a nickname basis are we now?" I asked back.

   "Ok fine, Timmy calm the hell down."

   "Still technically a nickname."

   "Both of you just shut the hell up!" Nate butted in attempting to end the argument, Tony at the time just sat there snickering and keeping the bomb from the blues. Though his noble attempt was for the argument rained on as it would have any other day. Not to long after said attempt there was a blinding light and a crackling noise in our mics soon falling into unconsciousness, leaving behind the opposing blue team who could only sit and wonder why all the reds had dissconected.

×•×•×•× Back in Canterlot ×•×•×•×

   After getting permission from Celestia to cause a little tiny bit of chaos, Discord moved on to phase two of his chaotic plan, find a small group of humans proceed to throw them into Equestria before Celestia notices that he himself is using a bit more magic than he promised he would. It was apsolute genius.

   Ripping a gateway between worlds Discord began his search.

×•×•×•× Human world ×•×•×•×

    Discord knew he didn't have much time before Celestia figured out he was up to a bit more than a little chaos, he would have to find the closest most chaotic group and book it out of here. Only problem was that whatever group he found had to match his list down to the bone.

All members must know each other beforehand.

One member MUST be a brony. (cant have all the humans completely lost to what's happening)

Another member needs to be a bit of a perv. (were is the fun without some sexuall jokes?)

Meat, one of them needs to love meat. (For obvious reasons)

Final reason, they have to bicker A LOT.

   Taking one last look at his list and the group of pot heads before him he shook his head no and moved on. After a few minutes of searching he sensed chaos a lot of it to, heading of in the direction it came from. As he neared a seemingly peaceful house felt the chaos get stronger grinning mischievously Discord phased through the wall were he thought the chaos came from. Upon entering the room Discord saw a teen sitting on a bed playing on one of those game boxes he'd seen before. Though the human seemed more occupied arguing with another through his mic sitting next to him while looking at some sort of device, with as luck would have it a pony on it. Looking around the room some more seeing a half eatin steak a plenty remains of other meats in the room he smiled. 'A brony and a large meat eater perfect'. Listening to the argument which seemed to be over nothing they were just bickering just like Discord wanted and an added plus to that it sounded like these humans all knew each other. 'Perfect just perfect' he thought to himself. Knowing how teens are one of them were bound to being a perv. Knowing that he had little to no time left he quickly used his magic to connect himself to the others three humans locations and sent them all on their meery way to Equestria and then he decided that he had spent enough time in this world and also head back to the world he called home.

×•×•×•× Canterlot ounce more ×•×•×•×

   Upon reentering his own world he was faced with a very annoyed looking Celestia.

   "Discord what excactly were you d--." Successfully interupting Celestia's sentence by clamping her muzzle shut and getting another annoyed glare.

   "Like I promised Celestia 'I' have only caused a little chaos, the same cant be said for some others soon enough." Discord finished with a chuckle.

   "What do you mean others Discord?" Celestia demanded trying but failing to sound threatening, causing Discord to chuckle ounce more.

   "Oh would you look at the time Tia it seems I've over stayed my visit, it was nice chatting with you ta ta." He said while phasing out of existence. Leaving Celestia to sit there with her hoof in her face sighing. Something told her the next few days were going to be very eventful.

×•×•×•×

   Discord sat upon one of the castle towers over looking the garden he was previously in, and had an amused chuckle escape his lips only for him to catch it in his paw before it got away and shoved it back down his throat. 'Cant have any more of them running around can we?' He thought swallowing the chuckle. 'I wonder were the humans landed Meh their probably ok not like the landed in the Everfree or anything... damn it, oh well I'm sure they are fine humans are good at killing after all' his thoughts interrupted by a certain stomach growling he shrugged 'either way its munchin time' and with that thought he snapped his talon and had a four course meal sitting in front of him he began to dig in.

Chpt 2: Nate's Great Day in the Bush

   Nate woke up with a groan as the sunlight pierced his vision, looking around he quickly noiticed he wasn't in his room, or anywhere he knew of for that mater. He was in a forest, a dark one at that compared to those he'd been in before, but a forest non the less. Checking his being he saw that he was fully clothed minus the shoes, and had a scrape in his arm. Jean pockets empty of anything useful. He decided to walk in some random direction, and straight into a bat scorpion lion things face.

×•×•×•×

   Running for atleast an hour was finally having its toll on Nate. His steps getting more sloppy, his mind wandering, and he had a mutant lion on his ass. Figuratively of course for the mutant hadn't caught him yet so thus he hasn't been raped... yet. Yeah today couldn't get any better, that's when he tripped a bashed head of a rock 'Today fucking sucks' was Nates last conscious thought before succoming to darkness.

×•×•×•×

   'My ass is really hurts' Nate thought as he sat up to noitice there was a very large hole in his pants aiming specifically were... 'Oh god, oh oh god it really fucking raped me' after he processed that specific thought a twig snapped right behind him and

*THWAMP*

a small log was smashed upside his head ounce again knocking him out.

×•×•×•×

   Yeah Nate had a pretty good day.

Chpt 3: Connor's Courageous Conscious

   "Wake monkey man, or I shall hit you with a frying pan." A voice threatened. Hearing the voice Connor's eyes fluttered open and started to examine the room he was in, not seeing the voice that spoke to him from his position he sat up confused when all he saw was a small looking zebra looking back at him with a curious look "Monkey man you look as if you've seen a ghost but we know that could only be hoax." Upon actually seeing the zebra talk Connor's brain did the best thing it could think of, shut down and re download file 'mind blown'.

   "Woah." And then it decided to upload 'punch unknown' was the best next course of action.

*POW*

Finally after lots of scrambling and panic the mini Connors found the 'First Contact Instructions' and got to work a proper. "Shit, ah fuck, miss zebra lady thing are you ok, damn it sorry."

   "It is fine monkey man, just don't do it again or your flank is tan."

   Ignoring the threat Connor said "Again sorry, names Connor by the way and I'm not a monkey, also were am I?"

   "I am Zecora, I found you in the flora."

   "Ok nice to meet you Zecora, but that doesn't anwser were I'm at." He pointed out.

   "Your at my hut in the Everfree forest, may I ask if you need more rest?" 'Everfree forest why does that sound familiar? Hmm.'

   "I'm fine, may I ask where the Everfree forest is located?"

   "Its in Equestria of course, why does your face show remorse?" 'Wait, isn't the pony show Timmy watches take place in Equestria...God damn it, Timmy had something to do with this didn't he,that or I'm hallucinating and I fucking hate ponies.'

   "Thanks for the information Zecora, do you mind if I stay at your hut for a bit?"

   "I don't mind if you stay in my hut, just don't go act like a mut."

×•×•×•×

   Connor sat in the bed Zecora had lent him, buried in his thoughts. 'If I'm in Equestria what happended to the others?' 'How did I even get into Equestria?' 'What do I do next?' His thoughts were interrupted by a loud shout from miles of in the forest. 'That sounded like Timmy... I'm going to need to go find him aren't I?' Another shout rang out. 'Damn it.' Taking off outside after quickly telling Zecora what his plan was he headed toward the shout.

×•×•×•×

  Having been walking for a few minutes now, Connor allowed his thoughts to wander, and was immediately trampled by a jizz leaking goat. Looking up at were the goat ran of leaving the sticky substance from it arse leaving a trail Connor could only cringe and think of what kind of messed up freak would do such a thing and then chuckled to himself 'sounds like something Tony would do.' He mused in his head and continued on his quest to find the only person who may have an idea of what's going on.

×•×•×•×

   Continuing on his way to find his way to find his friend, Connor saw a large tree higher than most in the forest, and was in the same direction as the shout. Going at a light jog Connor made his way toward the tree. Hearing something snap behind Connor quickly spun around and saw a gigantic penis monster looking back at him quite suductivly. Knowing what would happen if he didn't act Connor leapt toward what he thought its weak spot would be. The testicles. Falling in an arch he threw a mighty punch straight into the left testi. The super penis howled in pain and struck back with a punch of his own. Only to miss as Connor ducked to the right and proceeded to kick the right testicle. The penis howled ounce more and slammed its main body straight into Connor knocking him into a tree a few feet back. It then proceeded to attempt to cover Connor in its jibber only to explode from the damage done to its cum deposits. The jizz and blood just barely missing Connor as he pulled himself up and continued toward the large tree.

×•×•×•×

   Coming up to a small clearing with the large tree on the other end, Connor began to hear laughing the laughing of a madman. He had found Timmy.

Chpt 4: Timmy's Terrific Tree Climb

  Waking up as the sun's warm rays invaded his vision Timmy got up to see he was in a clearing in what appeared to be a forest not being the first this happened he just sighed. 'I don't reconize this part of the forest, and I don't smell like alcohol...Hmm weird.' Looking around the clearing for the biggest tree possible he easily spotted one on the other end and made his to the other end and began to climb as he had countless times before.

×•×•×•×

  Climbing the large tree in minutes Timmy got a good look over the forest canopy. 'Nothing of interest on this side...by why does it look like I'm in a completely different forest?' Moving to the other side of the tree he saw what appeared to be a small town. 'Huh that's weird nearest town atleast 15 miles out' readjusting and wiping the grime of his glasses he got a better look at the town, and almost laughed himself out of the tree.

   "Holy fucking shit Equestria!" Timmy shouted out of excitement and mind-blownizm. Eventually his laughing had caused him to make a rookie climber mistake: don't fall.

×•×•×•×

  The rough landing did nothing to stop his laughter, minutes after the fall though he heard a twig snap behind him rolling unto his back he allowed his insane laughter to die down to giggles.

   "Heh, hi Connor."

Chpt...<error>

Chpt...

   Hello everyone I'm here to tell you that the next few chapter are going to be delayed... again, the reason being is Tonys a douche bag and hasn't been doing his job correctly or at all and with the lack of not having any more editors and or not stupid as fuck people we've kinda hit a bump. Now I'll admit not all of this is Tony's fault but a good majorty of is. The upcoming chapter does involve a sex/rape scene between Tony and a male goat, and that's pretty much the whole chapter. The problem with writting that is quite simple: I cant take writing about my friends dick seriously, at most I can get five minutes of good writing on that chapter before I cant look at it any more. Now I have a plan to fix some of the bigger problems and that being.

Put Tony in charge of writing his own goat loving chapter (originally the chapter was planned to be longer than 1,000 words but with Tony in charge I'm not sure, I'll still preread it to make sure Tony didn't do a shitty job and to make sure he didn't give himself any little perks example: a 20ft long cock with a magical propeller.

We're trying to work out a time for me and the guys to get to gether every week through any means but we're all busy as fuck nowadays.

While Tony's working on his own chapter (#5) unsupervised I'll be working on all the chapters after Chapter 5 so when he finishes Chapter 5 I can hopefully release a small heap of other chapters with it to make up for how late we are.

I think that's all, oh and Tony if your reading this before I've had the chance to tell you that your going to be writing chapter 5 now contact me first chance you get using the usual methods.

  So if any of you have questions about literally anything just comment it or pm it so that I may tell you the answers to the universe and such. (I expect to get absolutely no questions or anything because people hate us and refuse to do so... dicks.)