Zombies: Richtofen

by Enderstorm

Rating: teen
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Main 6, Other, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 7993

Verdammt ponies... I don't vant "friends".. I VANT POWER!

"If you are so eager to re-enter the physical world, Richtofen. I will grant you that wish!"

Richtofen was torn from the MPD by Maxis, and put back in a physical body. Thats not as bad as death, right? Unfortunately for Richtofen, Maxis has a cruel sense of humor. Richtofen is now stuck in an equine body known as a pony, and if thats not bad enough, these other ponies know nothing of death and violence! And they want to be friends with him! These ponies seem friendly though, maybe he can manipulate them into getting a few artifacts...

(Note: Full Maxis conversation can be found here. No, you can't play zombies with me.)

Published 2013-07-16 16:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-06 08:06:47 UTC

Ein

- - - - - - - -1 Hour to Sunrise- - - - - - - -

It was a normal, peaceful night in Ponyville. Everypony made sure that tonight, the second Summer Sun Celebration hosted in Ponyville, would go very smoothly. No interruptions this time. Twilight would make sure of that. And if anything happens, Twilight would cover it up wth invisibility and silence spells. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

"Twilight..." said a smooth, comforting voice. Twilight wheeled around ready to hammer in to the pony brave enough to stroll away from the preperations, only to find Princess Celestia standing there. Twilight exhaled a silent breath of relief. Wait a minute...

"P-P-Princess Celestia?" Twilight started to panic. "You're early! This puts off my schedule!" Twilight started to hyperventilate. "Now everything is-" Twilight was interrupted by the warm touch of a magically enchanted golden horseshoe on her shoulder. "Twilight, calm down. I always like to be a little early if I can spend a little time with my most faithful student." assured Celestia, nuzzling her student.

Twilight visibly calmed down a little, and took a deep breath ready to continue the conversation. Calmly. "But I need to org-" Twilight was once again interrupted by her mentor. "I'm sure we can find somepony to fill in for you."

Twilight, realising that she was defeated, agreed to spend time with her mentor. "Wow, I just realised how little time we've spent together lately." Twilight thought to herself.

Suddenly a dark blue alicorn with an even darker flowing ethereal mane burst through the doors to the town hall and stopped for a few seconds to catch her breath. "Sister!" Luna loudly exclaimed.

"What is it, Lulu?" asked Celestia with half genuine concern and half annoyance for being interrupted with one of the rare moments she gets to spend with her student lately.

"Something evil is transpiring on the moon as we speak!" Luna exclaimed in half annoyance with her sister for calling her Lulu in public and half urgency because her moon was potentially in danger.

"On the moon..." Celestia trailed off before asking her sister again. "Are you sure, Lulu?"

Luna blushed a bit, shook her head, and looked at her sister in annoyance for calling her Lulu. In public.

"Yes, We are sure, sister!" Luna frantically exclaimed, disregarding the fact that she just used the 'Royal We' which slipped past her when she was stressed.

Celestia thought to herself. "On the moon. It sounds very unlikely, nopony can breathe on the moon except Lulu and I. And this could be a prank to get back in the spirit of modern times. I swear, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash are the most..." Celestia shook her head while chuckling mentally before continuing. "Lulu, I think you should lie down. The stress of lowering the moon in front of others is getting to you. I shall handle the moon while you ta-" Celestia never got to finish that sentence before she and Twilight was struck by the Royal Canterlot Voice. Both sisters forgot Twilight was even there.

"SISTER, WE COMMAND THOU TO LISTEN TO US! OUR MOON IS IN DANGER AND THOU ART TREATING US LIKE A DELUSIONAL PONY WHO BUMPED THY HEAD!" Luna stopped, looking around. Twilight was cowering in Celestia's lap, who was giving her the we-talked-about-this look. Luna hung her head in shame and continued, in a quieter voice. "We apologise, We art just... scared."

- - - - - - - -45 Minutes to Sunrise- - - - - - - -

The news of something evil happening on the moon sent Twilight into a panic. Spike, trying to get a bit of sleep in before the Summer Sun Celebration, was woken up by the frantic pattering of hooves and the sound of a unicorn teleporting. But the last sound is what concerned Spike. Books. Hitting the floor. Being thrown around.

Twilight never ever, ever treated books that way. So what could have caused Twilight to go into a panic this big. Spike wasn't going to just sit here and do nothing! He had to help her big sis! Looking at the magical hourglass next to his basket he noticed the time. On second thought, maybe he would sit here and do nothing. Twilight's perfectly cabable of- Spike shook his head. "Get that thought out of your head, Twilight needs you!"

Spike raced downstairs and was immedietly hit by several books, which sent him rolling into a wall. He stood back up and got Twilight's attention. "Hey, Twilight! What's wrong?" Spike asked. Twilight looked like a mess, with a dishelved mane, and small, red, bloodshot eyes. "Oh nothing Spike! Everything's just peachy!" Twilight said through clenched teeth.

Spike just stared at her with a bemused expression. "Twilight, I can see something is wrong. C'mon, I'm your brother! You can tell me!" Spike was pretty much pleading.

Twilight just sighed and looked at her hooves. "Princess Luna belives there is something evil happing on the moon, and wants me to find it out, what with both princesses busy getting ready for the celebration." Twilight suddenly got an idea, and mentally facehooved for not thinking of it earlier. "Spike can you go get the telescope from the attic?" Spike simply saluted and ran off.

Twilight conjured up a quill and ink well. It was a simple spell she learnt, after being so engrossed by a ten page report to Princess Celestia. Poor Owlowiscious didn't have much feathers after that. And it saves alot of time, money and sofas. They really didn't need more sofas. Twilight called her owl over and told him to go get some parchment. After about half a minute of 'hoo'ing, Owlowiscious flew back with five sheets of blank parchment in his talons. "Thanks, Owlowiscious."

"Who?"

"You. Thank you."

"Who."

...

"You."

"Who?"

Twilight just groaned and facehooved.

"Yeah, he's a real conversationalist." Called Spike from the stairs.

Twilight chuckled and called out "Spike, I need you to write a letter to each of the girls telling them to meet me here!"

"On it, Twilight!" Spike called out, as he chucked the telescope away somewhere.

- - - - - - - -28 Minutes until Sunrise- - - - - - - -

"What is it we're doing here again?" Asked Rainbow Dash.

"I don't know, darling, but Twilight made it sound very urgent and important if she pulled us away from our duties! We all know how Twilight gets about making everything perfect for the Princesses." Replied Rarity

The group 'mmhmm'ed and nodded in unison.

"Well Ah don't wanna just sit 'round here! Ah wanna get inside an' help mah friend." AJ then proceeded to knock on the door.

A slightly less dishelved Twilight answered the door, and before she could explain the situation a horrified Rarity latched herself onto Twilight before dramatically shreiking "Oh, Twilight, now I understand why you needed us so urgently. You were just desperate for somepony to tend to your mane! Well worry no more, I shall-" Rarity's impromptu rant was ended short by Twilight, Applejack and Rainbow Dash staring at her with bemused faces. Fluttershy was afraid that Rarity would hate her if she made any faces and Pinkie Pie was too busy bouncing on a trampoline which she produced from... somewhere.

"What? Her mane is a mess!" Pouted Rarity.

"My mane is fine, thankyou. As I was about to say, Princess Luna felt as though something evil is happening on the moon-"

BURP!

"It's from Princess Luna!" Came a well-timed voice in the background.

"Bring it here Spike!" Twilight called out.

Twilight unrolled the scroll and began to read it.

To the Elements of Harmony,

Twilight has no doubt summoned you to her library already, so that will make this letter easier. My sister banished me to the moon for ten minutes, so I could see what is going on up there. It appears somepony, or something, has build a facility on the moon. I detected a strange substance leading from an underground cavern, so I looked. There was a strange pyramid with four glowing red vials surrounding it. The magical signature is very strong in the pyramid. Where the magic is directed is a nearby planet we did not notice before. By the time you get this letter I will already be back. It seems that the moon is not in danger as I thought. The best we can do is just enjoy the festivities.

Your friend,
Luna

Zwei

- - - - - - - -10 Minutes to Sunrise- - - - - - - -

"Well, come on girls, let's go check up on the last minute preparations ." Twilight said enthusiastically. A little too enthusiastically...

"Ah gotta go haul th' apples to th' town hall." Said AJ.

"Ok, Applejack. We'll see you there." Twilight looked up. "Rainbow, why are there still clouds?"

Rainbow rubbed the back of her neck with her hoof while chuckling awkwardly. "Heh, guess I forgot to bust 'em. I'll do it now, in ten seconds flat." Rainbow took off into the sky and 9.99 seconds later she landed with a smug grin. "What'd I tell ya? Te-" Twilight cut her off. "Ten seconds flat, we know. Now, we better get going if we want to get a spot near the front!" Rainbow grumbled something about 'eggheads' and 'letting awesome ponies finish their awesome one-liners', then took off for the town hall. And made it there. In ten seconds flat.

- - - - - - - -4 Minutes to Sunrise- - - - - - - -

Luna could hear some voices in her head. Two angry voices arguing. Most of it was cut off.

Ze process has begun! Now I control the...

...you fools! Why did you listen to him...

...I must inform you, that ze Earth, nor it's people vill...

...I tried so hard to varn you...

...is open, I vill finally be reunited with my dearest...

...even if your wretched daughter is still alive, she has my...

If you are so eager to re-enter the physical world, Richtofen. I vill grant you zat vish!

The voices were giving Luna a severe migraine, and she couldn't take it. The voices were getting harsher, until they finally stoped when Luna passed out.

Meanwhile, Celestia was getting ready to raise the sun. She felt Luna pass out and felt a pang of worry. She called her student over and told her to go check on her sister.

- - - - - - - -2 Minutes to Sunrise- - - - - - - -

Twilight didn't know why Princess Luna was passed out in the top floor of the town hall. She was supposed to be getting ready to lower the moon, not take a nap! The Princesses were immortal alicorn goddeses, they could stay awake if they needed too! Then Twilight noticed the strange purple glow around the moon goddess, and stopped panicking. Maybe somepony wanted to trick everypony into thinking that Nightmare Moon was returning? Twilight settled on that theory and ran a magical scan on the Princess to link it with another unicorn. But Twilght couldn't find anything. Only a strange new magical element. Then she heard a voice. Just one. With a slight Germane accent to it.

Curse you Maxis! You and that stupid girl. You are always ruining MY FUN!

- - - - - - - -Sunrise- - - - - - - -

Celestia couldn't wait for Twilight to wake up her sister any longer. So her horn glowed a silvery white while she set the moon on autopilot.

Celestia stepped onto the podium and leapt up in the air, and spread her wings majestically. Her horn glowed golden-bright as she ascended higher and higher in sync with the sun. When the sun was at its peak, something sparked in the moon. Nopony could see it, since the moon was out of sight. But that spark grew bigger, and brighter, and purpler, until it launched off the moon, and into Equestria's orbit.

- - - - - - - -10 Minutes to the Strange Purple Comet's Arrival- - - - - - - -

By now everypony could see the purple ball of energy heading towards Ponyville. And while everypony was running around panicing, Twilight was not. She was in her library zipping around, taking notes, looking through telescopes, making observations, and overall exhausting herself out. Spike tried, and failed, to get Twilight out of her room and outside to calm everypony down.

Lucky he had matured a bit and now has thicker scales. Otherwise he would be in hospital by the sheer force of the shockwave Twilight sent out. Now, Twilight didn't mean for it to be that powerful. But she didn't have time to think about that. She needed to calculate the time before the comet hit.

Rainbow, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Fluttershy were waiting outside of the door to the Golden Oaks Library for Spike. They had all gotten an urgent letter from the dragon about Twilight not coming out of her room. Spike opened the door and had a look of relief on his face. "Am I glad you girls are here! Twilight seriously won't come out of her room!"

Much to Rarity's horror, Applejack barged in and got ready to buck Twilight's door down if need be. "Well, Ah'm going up there! Ah ain't gunna sit here while muh friend works her flank off! We need her to-" Applejack's... battle shout... was interrupted by a voice. "Ahh, there you are girls! I did some calculations and figured out two things! We need the Elements of Harmony, and we have about two minutes before that purple thing hits, and creates a crater the size of the Everfree."

Everypony, save Twilight and Pinkie, had their jaws so low they could feel the floor. Fluttershy fainted on the spot, and not five seconds after, Rarity collapsed on a conjured sofa after dramatically proclaiming "THIS IS THE WORST POSSIBLE THING!"

Rainbow Dash, having recovered before anypony else, flew up in Twilight's face. "Are you saying that we have two minutes to live before WE GET SQUISHED BY A COMET?!"

"Actually, one minute. And, it's not a comet. It's just a ball of compressed, potentially harmful, purple energy!" Answered Twilight, a hint of childish glee in her voice.

Applejack, next to recover, quickly spoke up. "Well ain't that just fine and bucking dandy?!"

"Don't worry girls, Twilight has it under control!" Answered Pinkie.

"An' how do y'all know that, Pinks? Usually anything that comes out of that mouth is mule crap!" Applejack retorted, with major irritation in her tone.

"I know 115 reasons why Twilight can handle it! And none of them have anything to do with mules! Or crap!" Replied Pinkie.

'WHOOSH' 'SLAM'

"What in th' hay?"

Pinkie, Rainbow, Applejack and Twilight rushed outside to find an olive green stallion in a crater pulsing with purple and blue energy. The stallion stirred and slowly came to. He looked down at his hooves and stared at them with wide, blue eyes. He then aimed his head at the sky and shouted.

"FUCK YOU, MAXIS!"

Drei

A few seconds earlier...

Rarity and Fluttershy, haven woken up on the floor of Twilight's library, were just about to head outside when they heard some yelling.

"FUCK YOU, MAXIS!"

Rarity looked horrified, and Fluttershy was just about to cry. Nopony has ever used such profane language. The closest one got to swearing was saying 'buck', and even that was rarely used in Ponyville to avoid upsetting the Apple Family, who bucked trees all day. Hard.

Back outside, everypony else looked horrified, save Pinkie who was still dancing around the crater, but keeping her distance. She didn't want a repeat of that incident again...

Once the stallion calmed down a bit, Pinkie got as close as she could and started spouting forth her welcome speech. "Hi, my name's Pinkie Pie and I just saw you drop out of the sky and I've never saw you before-- silly me you just dropped out of the sky-- oh wait I just said that, nevermind the point is I can see 115 reasons why you should stay here and not fly back away to Griffinville on the moon. One, because I haven't thrown you a welcome party yet..." Pinkie kept rambling on and on, until everypony just decided to leave.

Fluttershy wanted to leave. Just hide in her house until the strange pony left. But her Element was telling her to be kind. So that's what she did. And she ~~kinded the hell out of~~ quietly asked Pinkie to stop talking so she could help the poor olive-green stallion in the crater. But Pinkie wouldn't stop. Not when she was on Reason 14 of 115 Reasons Why You Should Stay Here and Not Fly Back Away to Griffinville on the Moon.

So Fluttershy asked again, a bit louder and firmer. "Umm, c-can you please stop talking? I mean, if it's not too much trouble...

But Pinkie was on reason 17 of 115 Reasons Why You Should Stay Here and Not Fly Back Away to Griffinville on the Moon.

The green stallion looked as though he'd had enough. He cleared his throat a bit then yelled in Germane.

"Halt den Mund! Dummkopf!" Shut up! Idiot!

Fluttershy, being able to speak a bit of Germane after her brief stint with Photo Finish, understood exactly what he just said. Apparerntly Pinkie understood too, because she halted in midair.

The stallion continued. "It dosen't look like I can go anyvere... and a better question. Vhy am I a pony? Talking to other ponies?"

Pinkie began to explain before getting an olive hoof to the face. "Nein, don't speak. Please.. Your voice is worse zen ze voices in my head..." He began to trail off before speaking again. "Ze voices! Zey are gone!"

Suddenly the olive pony was lifted up in a magenta glow out of the crater, and in front of a purple unicorn with a look of childish glee on her face. "Who are you? What's your name? Oh cool! You're a unicorn! How many spells do you know? What's your cutie mark mean?" Twilight started bombarding him with questions before getting an orange hoof in her mouth. "Twi, why don't ya let 'im explain before you start askin' questions?"

"Oh, alright..."

Everypony looked at the olive green stallion expectantly.

"Vhat?" They kept staring.

"Zis is getting awkward..." They kept staring.

He sighed. "I von't tell you my name. But you can guess if you really-"

"Oh oh! I know!" Pinkie started jumping with her hoof raised in the air. "Is it, Olive? Or Toffee? OH OH, IT'S RIC-" The rest of Pinkie's names got muffled by an orange hoof. "Pinkie, Ah don't think you know his name." Deadpanned Applejack.

Pinkie just spat the hoof out. "IT'S RICK TOFFEE! No, wait..." Pinkie just trailed off while "Rick Toffee" stared with wide eyes. 'How did she know zat much?' He thought to himself.

"Close, but no. EET'S RICHTOFEN!" Richtofen just had another voice spasm.

Now everypony stared at Pinkie. How did she know that?

"Pinkie, darling. How in Equestria did you come so close to his name?" Asked Rarity.

"Rick Toffee was my grandfather! He looked just like Richtofen here. He might of been a unicorn, but he could make some of the best toffee ever! The secret ingredient was what made it so tasty." Pinkie paused for a bit. "You wanna know the secret ingredient?" Everypony, even Richtofen, nodded. Pinkie's smile disappeared for a second before coming back on. "It was the 115th element on the periodic table!"

Richtofen just gasped. 'So zis pink ponie knows what element 115 is! Zat will make zis a bit easier. Though I will still need ze Golden Rod and Focusing Stone if I want to overthrow Maxis. And kill him zis time.'

Vier

Warning: This chapter has some 4th wall breaking and alot of Batman references. Please be advised for no reason whatsoever. Enjoy!

"Pinkie," asked Twilight. "What is 'the periodic table'?

Pinkie just chuckled while Richtofen looked shocked.

"Twilight, darling. It's most likely just one of Pinkie's anologies."

Richtofen just looked even more shocked.

"I guess you're right. We don't want me trying to study Pinkie again!"

Richtofen now had a look of shockfusion.

"You're right, author! Twilight, don't shockfuse Richtofen!" Pinkie scolded.

The group, save Richtofen, just looked at Pinkie with the most confused faces a pony could make.

Richtofen, however just muttered under his breath. "I'm surrounded by dummkopfs..."

Richtofen obviously missed alot of the conversation, because everpony was staring at him. "Vhat?"

"Darling, weren't you paying attention just now?" Asked Rarity. Richtofen just shrugged. Somewhere along the line he learned to shrug while walking on four legs.

"Well, I wouldn't take no for an answer anyway. So, off to the SPAAA-AAAAAA!" Rarity sung in a sing-song voice.

TO THE SPA!

Aloe and Lotus greeted their best customer and their second best customer, then everypony else. Richtofen, wondering why he came along, got ushered along by Rarity, and then he remermbered Rarity had her head in his ass pushing him there.

"And this is my friend Richtofen. Give him a hooficure. I bet his hooves are begging for a good shine!" Rarity tried to push Richtofen but he'd frozen up. 'How dare zey! Zey haven't earnt my friendship! Not unless zey spend as much time fighting zombies as I did with Nikolai...' Richtofen was jolted out of his thoughts by a bright blue aura lifting him up and placing him on the table where Aloe prepared the file.

"Honestly, some ponies are very rude. If you want to be in our group of friends, at least have the decency to be a proper gentlecolt." Rarity huffed, stuck her nose in the air haughtily, and walked away to the spa.

Richtofen however, was trying to figure out what just happened. He was suddenly alerted to a presence to his right where a cyan pegasus lay. "Bit for your thoughts?" Asked the cyan mare. Richtofen sighed. "Zis place is crazy. Not like ze ᴁther..."

The cyan mare just shook her head and started her usual boasting. "Anyway, my name's Rainbow Dash, faster flier in... Eques..." Rainbow trailed off when Lotus started giving her a hooficure.

Richtofen just scoffed. "Don't be so full of yourself. I used to rule an entire planet of ZOMBEEZ!"

Rainbow suddenly shot up, startling Lotus causing her to fall on her back.

"That. Is. AWESOME!" Rainbow yelled, then quickly corrected herself. "N-not as awes-s-some as me, o-of course!"

Rainbow suddenly drooped. "Who am I kidding, that's bucking awesome."

"I still would if it weren't for Maxis!" Richtofen suddenly got angry, and he said the last the word with venom dripping from his voice. His blue eyes suddenly intesified in colour before Richtofen collapsed on the table. Aloe returned with the file, having lost it somewhere. She glared at Rainbow, thinking it was one of her pranks to knock the stallion out. Rainbow just shrugged.

TO THE HOSPITAL!

"So you're saying he just collapsed?" Asked Nurse Redheart, a bit skeptical.

"Yeah, his eyes just got really bright and he fell over! Right in the middle of a conversation. Who the hay does that?" Asked Rainbow.

"His eyes glowed brighter?" Asked Redheart, a bit more concerened. Rainbow nodded. Suddenly Rainbow got a pain in her chest. 'Loyalty. You left your friends behind.' "I have to go get the others, Nurse!"

TO THE SPA!

"Hey girls, you have to come with me to the hospital!" Exclaimed Rainbow.

BACK TO THE HOSPITAL!

"I'm afraid he passed out from magical overload." Explained Redhart. Rainbow interrupted. "But he wasn't using magic! I was right there!"

"Sometimes untrained unicorns can pass out when they get angry but their body can't release it through the horn." Explained Twilight.

"He said something about a 'Maxis' then his eyes glowed a really bright blue then he just passed out cold!"

Suddenly, Richtofen sat bolt upright. "Maxis? Vhere? I'll show him! Zat bastard and his daughter..."

Richtofen looked around. "Oh, hello zere!"

Twilight just facehooved.

"Darling, it's getting late, and you don't have anywhere to stay, do you?" Asked Rarity.

"EETZ ok. I've slept outside before."

"Oh, no no no darling! I simply won't let you sleep outside like a wild animal!" At that, Rarity started pushing Richtofen out of the hospital and into her Botique. "Oh I have some suits that would look just marvelous on you!"

'And I have a bullet zat would look DEATHLY BEAUTIFUL in your head...'

TO RARITY'S DEATH TRAP OF A SHOP! LITTERALY!

Richtofen was stuck in Rarity's telekinesis while she put together a tux. When she turned around to put it on the living mannequin in front of her he turned a deathly white.

'Think! THINK! Maybe I can use ze ununpentium in my blood to stun her. WUNDERBAR!'

Richtofen screwed his eyes shut and focused. Suddenly a massive bolt of electricity shot out of his horn and bounced off of everything, before it disintergrated the horrible looking 'handsome tux'. Rarity just stood there, speechless.

"AHA! WUNDERBAR! I am a wunderwaffe!" Richtofen used this moment to escape into the first building he saw. A gingerbread house called 'Sugarcube Corner'. "Hmm, dosen't zeem so ba-AHHHHH!" Pinkie litterally appeared in front of him with a happy look on her face.

'I think zat pony swallowed a Q.E.D.'
'OO OO! What's a Q.E.D.?'
'It's a quant- hey, zis iz MY MIND!'
'Oops! Sorry!'

Richtofen suddenly got an idea. "How much 115 do you have?"

"Lots silly! It's the secret ingredient in the whole Pie family!" Pinkie answered, unaware she just gave away why the cupcakes taste so bucking good and why Ditzy is obsessed with muffins.

"I used to work on a rock farm! We switched the mundane rocks with 115 infused ones and then crushed them, and used the 115 in our cakes and pastries which we sold to Sugarcube Corner!" Pinkie explained, though Richtofen didn't know what she was talking about.

"Look, anyvay, I need to hide from zat crazy white unicorn."

"You can stay here if you want!"

TO PINKIES ROOM! NOT IN THAT WAY!

"Just let me get the spare bed." Pinkie stopped to think for a moment. "OMIGOSH! THIS IS TOTALLY A SLEEPOVER!"

"Nein, itz me hiding from zat verrückt pony."

"Oh, well. We have far too little ponies to have a sleepover. Oh, but Twilight had one with 3 ponies. Hey, do you think..."

Richtofen just groaned and fell down onto his bed.

Author's Note

Some Random World-Building Notes

Equestria dosen't use the Periodic Table (At least, not in this story [foreshadowing]). They aren't advanced enough to find all the elements.

-

Anypony who has 115 in their system is able to telepatically communicate with each other. That's how Richtofen communicated with Samuel.

-

Basically, everypony on the rock farm was emotionally depressed from a side effect of the 115. Pinkie used to be, until the Sonic Rainboom multiplied the effects of 115, and she went batshit insane.

Fünf

- - - - - - - -In The Morning- - - - - - - -

Richtofen awoke to a flugelhorn in his ear.

"SUPRISE!" Shouted a very annoying voice.

Richtofen spotted a white unicorn and muttered under his breath. "Scheiße!"

"Vhat is wrong with-"

"I threw this suprise party JUST FOR YOU! Were you suprised? Were ya? Were ya? Huh? Huh? Huh?"

Richtofen just stared at Pinkie with a very bemused look.

"I told ya we shouldn't have woken him up!" Shouted Rainbow Dash, an impatient tone in her voice.

"I vas suprised. NOW GEHEN SIE WEG!"

Pinkie just chuckled and replied "I don't know what you just said!"

Twilight walked in with wings on her back.

Richtofen looked a bit shocked.

"Vhat happened last night?" Richtofen asked, reminding himself to ask if ponies could sprout wings.

Twilight rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly with her hoof and started to explain. "Alot of stuff..."

- - - - - - - -Flashback- - - - - - - -

A red star descended upon Ponyville, and touched the ground not far from the Elements of Harmony.

"Twi.. light? Is that you? Applejack asked, cautiously.

Twilight stood still for a moment, then spread her wings out.

Wait a minute...

Wings?

There was a collective gasp.

Applejack started speaking again. "Ah've never seen anything like it!"

Rainbow raced over. "Hah! Twilight's got wings! AWESOME! A new flying buddy!"

Rarity nonchalantly trotted over. "Why, you've become an alicorn! I didn't even know that was possible!

Pinkie swung past of a rope suspended from mid air. "...alicORN PARty..."

Fluttershy suddenly appeared next to her. "Wow, you look just like a princess!"

Princess Celestia, having recovered from last night, descended behind them. "That's because she is a princess."

There was a collective huh.

Pinkie broke the silence first. "Hold on a second!" She took out a glass of water, chugged it down, and spit it out.

Twilight finally recovered. "A... a princess?"

Celestia placed a comforting hoof on her shoulder. "Since you've come to Ponyville, you've displayed the charity, compassion, devotion, integrity, optimism, and of course, the leadership of a true princess."

"But.. does this mean I won't be your student anymore?" Asked Twilight, worriedly.

Celestia just shook her head. "Not in the same way as before. I'll still be here to help and guide you, but we're all your students now too. You are an inspiration to us all, Twilight." Celestia bowed, then Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow, Applejack, Pinkie and Spike all followed.

Twilight kept panicing. "But w-what do I do now? Is there a book about being a princess I should read?"

Celestia just chuckled. "There will be time for all of that later."

- - - - - - - -End Flashback- - - - - - - -

Richtofen just had a dumbfounded look on his face.

"Zo I slept through all zat?

"Pretty much, yeah." Rainbow helpfully pointed out.

"Anyway, IT'S TIME TO PARTY!" Shouted Pinkie.

- - - - - - - -After the party... which Richtofen had no say in whether he wanted to go or not...- - - - - - - -

Twilight pulled Richtofen aside. "Rarity tells me you have some unique magic! Would you care to teach me?" She asked with childish glee at the thought of learning new magic.

Richtofen just sighed. His horn glowed blue and a bolt of electricity shot out, ricocheted off a wall, and zapped Rarity in the flank.

"Vhoops!"

"Is that all you can do?" Asked Twilight, a bit disappointed.

Richtofen nodded.

"What about that purple comet thing?"

Richtofen just looked confused.

"Okay... can you do anything like teleportation or levitation?"

Richtofen still looked confused, but shook his head.

"What kind of unicorn are you?!" Twilight exclaimed.

"I vasn't always a pony."

"Don't be ridiculous. Wait, unless you're a changeling! That would explain why you can't do magic a normal unicorn can! Drop the disguise, changeling!"

Richtofen just stared at her.

"Nevermind, I have a spell that forces you to!"

Twilight's horn glowed purple for a second, and Richtofen just stood there.

Twilight sheepishly chuckled. "You're not a changeling, are you?"

Richtofen kept staring.

"Ok, explain."

Richtofen's horn glowed an eerie purple, and what Twilight saw made her faint.

Author's Note

So if you didn't know, the first 3 chapters take place the night before Alicorn Twilight. The rest is after season 3 finale.

Sechs

Twilight Sparkle, new time all powerful goddess, was passed out on the street.

"What'd you do to Twi?" Demanded Rainbow.

Richtofen sighed. "Nothing."

"Then why is she on the floor?"

"I showed her my memories." Richtofen's voice was eeriely flat and monotonous.

Twilight woke up gasping for breath. "What happened in your life? You should have told us if you really lived a life like that! I couldn't stand to watch anypony suff-"

"Vhat are you talking about? I loved my life! Ze feeling of power and..."

Twilight was staring at him in disgust and the other 5 were just looking confused.

"Vhat?"

Suddenly a booming echoey voice was heard.

"Ahh, zere you are, Richtofen.

Richtofen screwed up his face into a scowl. "Maxis..."

"I hope you don't mind, but I couldn't find another body for Samantha, so I made zis world her playground. If I see her hurt in anyway, I'll seal you in an infinite Time Bomb loop."

A screech was heard, and the voice stopped.

Rainbow was first to break the silence. "What the hay just-"

Suddenly there was an earthquake, followed by a purple explosion. A small, white filly hobbled out of the crater.

"-happened?"

Fluttershy gasped and rushed over to her. "Oh, my! Are you hurt?"

Fluttershy started tending to the small filly before realising the filly had wings. She looked at the filly's forehead, brushed away some dark mane and gasped. The filly was an alicorn.

Richtofen and the small alicorn were glaring machettes at each other before Twilight picked the alicorn up with her magic.

"Spike!"

The small dragon popped out of seemingly nowhere and produced a quill and ink from behind his back.

Twilight proceeded to tell Spike what to write.

Dear Princess Celestia,

A small white alicorn appeared in Ponyville today the same way an olive green unicorn did.
By the way they are staring at each other, I'd say they know each other.
Also, we heard a voice with a slight Germane accent echo around Ponyville just before the filly arived.
I was just writing to see if you know what's going on.

From Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle

By the time the letter ended, the small alicorn was desperately trying to free herself from Twilight's telekinetic grasp.

"Ok, Spike! Send it!"

Spike took a deep breath and burned the letter into a green wisp which headed straight for Canterlot.

"Now, lets get down to questioning! I want to know all about this little alicorn and what she represents!" Twilight looked ecstatic.

"Represents?" Asked Richtofen.

"Every alicorn represents some big thing, like Celestia is the Princess of the Sun, or Cadence is the Princess of Love." Twilight explaned.

Richtofen tried to contain a chuckle at the last one.

Twilight turned her attention to the floating ball of magic that used to hold a little alicorn filly.

"Where'd she... Rainbow, chase after..." Twilight was struggling to comprehend what was happening.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Come here, you little--" Rainbow dived for the filly, but she was fast. Really fast.

She started to run backwards and stuck her tounge out, just to taunt Rainbow. Rainbow tried to speed up, but the filly stopped suddenly. Ranbow looked back to see what she was doing, and crashed into a tree.

"Nice going, Rainbow Crash!" She taunted, and then flew away.

Rainbow just sat there, dazed. 'Just who is this filly?'

Author's Note

Sorry for the shorter chapter..
but it's ok with you guys, right? :fluttershysad:

Sieben

"Now, focus... Feel the magic flow through your horn..." Twilight was damn near losing awareness in a trance, had it not been for the cyan pegusus crashing into her, she would have.

But Richtofen just groaned. Twilight forced him to take these lessons from her, because 'magic is everything to a unicorn,' apparently. Everything to magiholic Twilight, maybe, but Richtofen only cares about 115 and zapping ponies with chain lightning. Yeah. 'Chain lightning.' Twilight demanded it be called 'chain lightning,' as opposed to Richtofen's suggestion of 'Wunderwaffe DG-4 PP,' or 'Wonder Weapon Die Glock Mk. 4 Pony Powered' to Twilight, who dosen't speak German~~e.~~

"Rainbow Dash! You made me lose focus! I'm trying to teach a pony magic here, and--" Twilight was cut off by Rainbow.

"It's obvious he dosen't want to learn, Twi! Look at him!" Twilight scowled, and looked over to the olive unicorn next to her.

"I'm sure I vill learn on my own..." Richtofen muttered, looking very tired and very bored.

"SEE?!" Rainbow shouted at Twilight. "That filly is getting away in the Everfree somewhere. I mean, she could outfly me, Twilight. OUTFLY! ME!"

"I suppose, she is an Alicorn after all." Twilight answered.

Rainbow just sighed dejectedly in response. "Look, all I want is Richtofen to help me look for this filly, and then we'll be done."

Both Rainbow and Richtofen both looked at Twilight pleadingly.

They only got a sigh in response. "Magic is the most important skill to a unicorn! But, I suppose if you don't want to stay here, you can at least take..." Twilight turned around to get a book and the two used this as a chance to get away. "...this."

Twilight could only sigh.

"Isn't speed the most amazing thing you've ever felt?" Asked Rainbow, tightning her grip on the olive unicorn, looking suprisingly calm.

"Please, vhen you've been teleported from vone place to anozer in a prototype teleporter, you get used to this." He replied.

Rainbow caught a flash of white, and a solid beam of orange magic collided into her. As she was sent tumbling into the thick trees, she caught sight of a zebra being held hostage in a cage of pure magic, before she blacked out. The Element of Loyalty kept her from dying, having her skull smashed open by one of the trees.

Richtofen, however, was quicker. He dived into a combat roll, jump-kicked off a tree, did a dolphin dive, and did another combat roll to get back on his feet, all like a parkour pro.

Samantha wasn't too happy about this, however, and let out a shrill scream. Loud enough to wake the dead.

Sure enough, dull, slow moving ponies clawed their way up from the ground, all the while moaning and groaning.

"Vuck." Richtofen simply stated. He had no weapons, no way to fight back.

Something inside of him opened, and blue magic lit up his horn uncontrollably. He couldn't stop it, even if he wanted to, which he didn't. He didn't want to. He could see the different Wunder Weapon Energy inside him, waiting to be unlocked, before snapping back to reality. He faced the unconcious form of Rainbow, who was glowing with a strange red energy. Her eyes suddenly snapped open, before she got up, completely unscathed and unwinded.

"Zomponies?" She asked. Richtofen hesitated for a second, before deciding that in this world, things were a bit different, including the zombies.

"Awesome!" She yelled, still pulsing with that red energy.

Samantha looked terrified. Her toys weren't being nice! She locked eyes with that cyan pegasus from before, before deciding to test her wings and fly away to find more toys to play with. Rainbow didn't miss a beat. "Richtofen, you can handle these, right?" She waited for a nod before continuing, "I'll chase what's-her-face, and you deal with these and tell Twilight what's going on, OK?" She didn't wait for approval of the idea, before rocketing off.

Richtofen was only left with his quote unquote 'chain lightning' and his Ray Gun.

Wait, what?

He focused on the 'Ray Gun' energy and poured it all into his horn. It shot out, his a zompony, and exploded, killing the zomponies around it with its splash damage. The zomponies glowed orange, and then purple and then explode into mist which was instantly absorbed by Richtofen's body. SHe spied the zebra locked up in the cage, before overloading it with electricity.

Once that was done, he attempted to make a beeline for Ponyville, before suddenly disoriented by a roar from behind him. He slowly turned around, before coming face to face with a massive blue astral bear. The zebra he unlocked earlier fled in terror, but Richtofen stood his ground. If he could handle zombies, he could handle this, right?

Rainbow was fast, even empowered with Harmonic energy, but that filly was faster. But she wasn't going to get away from the fastest flier in Equestria!

Suddenly the filly dashed forward, just out of her reach. "Oh, you wanna do this the hard way?"

Another swipe. "Fine."

She swiped again, but the filly dodget to the left. "We'll do this..."

She swiped one more time before deciding to hang back a bit.

"...the hard way."

Author's Note

I don't know if you've noticed, but the speed of my work has gone down substantially.
I've just got some... things* going on in my life.

.

*Things meaning a private, near endless, TF2 comp between me and my friends.

Achter

Richtofen looked at the bear in mock fear, before charging up his horn, readying a big Ray Gun blast. The bear didn't like the look of that, however, and roared at Richtofen with such force he was sent flying into the air. Richtofen was seriously considering his sanity at this point.

He barely managed to land on his feet before the bear started to charge him. As big as it was, its ability to turn sharp corners wasn't good, so Richtofen easily sidestepped it, and charged up purple energy to create a 115 distraction. Eventually it became so mad that it just went charging back off into the forest. Suddenly there was a massive explosion, followed by an intense rainbow shockwave. Then the aftershock tremors came and--

Rainbow was fast, even empowered with Harmonic energy, but that filly was faster. But she wasn't going to get away from the fastest flier in Equestria!

Suddenly the filly dashed forward, just out of her reach. "Oh, you wanna do this the hard way?"

Another swipe. "Fine."

She swiped again, but the filly dodged to the left. "We'll do this..."

She swiped one more time before deciding to hang back a bit.

"...the hard way."

With that, Rainbow charged forward with such force and speed she broke the sound barrier and light spectrum both at the same time, or in other words, she did a Sonic Rainboom in less than a second. With this, she caught up to that stubborn filly and divekicked her to the ground.

Applejack saw a rainbow crash into the orchard again. Both Applejack and Rainbow were used to this, but this time it looked like Rainbow was traveling faster that usual, so she went to see if her friend was alright. What she saw was Rainbow near strangling a poor white filly that was covered with bruises. "Rainbow Dash! What in tarnation are ya doin'?"

"Heh, well you-" She dodges an uppercut from the filly. "I'll let Richtofen explain."

"R--"

"-tofen"

"W- up"

SLAP

A sharp pain in his cheek woke him from his unconciousness. A slightly peeved lavender unicorn filled his vision as she lent a hoof to help him up. "I was looking everywhere for you, but imagine my suprise when Zecora came running to me to tell me of an extremely powerful olive unicorn fighting an ursa minor! What in Equestria possesed you to do that?" Twilight snapped.

"I've figured it out." Richtofen mumbled, seemingly oblivious to Twilight's question.

"Figured what out?" Twilight asked.

"Your 'magic'. There is none in my body. There is only 115." Richtofen replied simply.

Twilight, however, struggled to comprehend how a unicorn didn't have magic! "H-h-how? That makes no sense. Yeah, it makes no sense, and you're lying!" Twilight finished, satisfied with her answer, though she was trying to convince herself more than anything.

Before either could say anymore, or ask why he didn't answer her question, a voice echoed through the clearing they were in. "Twi'? You there?"

"I'm here, Rainbow!" Said Twilight, as she shot a magical flare into the sky.

In a few moments, Rainbow entered with Applejack, who had a very guilty look on her face. Behind her was a white alicorn wrapped up in Applejack's lasso.

"Vait... Zhe all powerful Samantha who toyed with me for years enters zhis world, still just as powerful... and you subdued her in a rope?"

"Pretty much, yep." Rainbow confirmed, as Richtofen spluttered in disbelief.

"You never answered my question." Said Twilight, turning to Richtofen.

"I needed to test my abilities."

"And what is up with this darn filly?" Applejack questioned. "Rainbow said you knew all about her."

"It's a long story..."

"Big Mac's mannin' the stall. We got time." Applejack demanded, albeit impatiently.

Richtofen sighed.

Author's Note

Rictofen Abilities Unlocked: 3
Wunderwaffe, Ray Gun, Monkey Bomb

Look, it's been awhile and I have writers block. So it's this short chapter or nothing, and I felt you guys needed something.

(Bonus Short) Nightmare Nacht

A/N: This might not fit in with the story at all.

Richtofen was strolling through town, ducking when ever he saw a pink or purple maned pony, and wondering why the town was so busy this late at night. Was there a winter night celebration as well?

He suddenly noticed a loud voice proclaiming "Citizens of Ponyville! We have graced your tiny village with Our presence, so that you might behold, the real PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT! A creature of nightmares no more, but instead a pony who desires your love and admiration! Together we shall change this dreadful celebration into a bright and glorious feast!

"Well, zat was--" He began to say before getting pushed over by a terrified chicken that looked remarkably like Pinkie Pie.

Richtofen just hung his head in defeat at trying to figure her out.

SPOOKY TRANSITION

Richtofen raced past all the screaming ponies and into the town square. It was there that he found a big blue alicorn with tears coming out of her eyes, wondering why everypony was scared of her.

Around him was dozens of abandoned stalls and smashed pumpkins. The alicorn looked up at him and whispered a quiet "Hello..."

"Vhy are you vhispering?" He asked.

"Twilight Sparkle said that Our voice was too loud..." She looked like she was about to cry.

It was then that he heard the voice he loathed yell out "Darling! Quickly, this way! Or Nightmare Moon will eat you!"

Richtofen just sighed and turned to leave when a flash of purple appeared in front of him. Twilight gasped and ran over to Princess Luna. "Princess Luna! Are you alright? Did he do this to you?" She glared at Richtofen. "Get out. GO!"

Richtofen raced off into the direction of his house.

SPOOKY TRANSITION

Richtofen was sitting at home, drinking some purple liquid when he heard a knock on his door. When he opened it, he was greeted with three little fillies; one yellow, one orange and one white, who suddenly yelled "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS TRICK-OR-TREATERS! YAY!"

It finally clicked in his head. It was halloween! And, he'd completely missed Oktoberfest!

"Ahem... Yer s'posed to give us candy." Said an impatient Apple Bloom.

Richtofen thought about it for a minute before saying "I have no candy." before slamming the door. He could still her some voices outside, one of which was particually pink. How a voice could be pink he just didn't know.

After a while the voices stopped and there was a knock at his door. He readied his horn and opened it, and... nothing. Suddenly there was a boo from behind him and he exploded in purple energy and collapsed on the ground.

"Ahh, vhat a nightmare nacht..."

Author's Note

Sorry it's a bit late. I was spending a while on the My Little Mercenary TF2 servers.

And i'll do my best to fit this into the story later. So as such, this chapter may contain spoilers. You just don't know where.

Yet.