“Whatever. I’m not going to waste my time with some blank flanks like you three.” I stated holding my head high as I walked away from the three who annoy me so much. “Come on Silver Spoon.”
“Yeah! Who needs you three?!” She called back as we stormed off. “Don’t worry Diamond Tiara. They can’t do anything now.”
“Like they ever could. I’ll see you tomorrow okay?” I beamed as we reached my house.
“Okay. Bump, bump, sugar, rump.” We chanted as we always did yet for some odd reason it felt empty for me as I walked inside.
“Daddy? Are you home?” I called out hoping to hear me call out my name and come to greet me but as always he did no such thing. “Daddy's still at work and I just walked away from Silver Spoon. Ugh. I guess that I can always just draw or read.”
This was my average day after school. Daddy was always busy with work and on the occasion that I got to be with him he was never far from some business call or another. I didn’t mind much. I’d grown up like this after all so why would I care if I was always either alone or attacking possible friends.
“Lets see what’s in the fridge.” I mumbled under my breath as I did so often when I was alone. “And the fridge is empty. No surprise there. I guess that I have to go out and get some food then.”
Daddy always left me a few bits in case he was ever late home. Late as in if he got home before the sun was dropped to make way for the moon that is. What should I care if he is never around to feed me or walk me to the store or so much as give me a hug.....
“Ugh! Stop thinking like that!” I mumbled hitting my head as I did to knock the thought away. “Food. Just think of food.”
I walked a mere four blocks to reach the marketplace and more specifically the restaurants that were around it. So many to chose from that over the years I had come to know what I craved for the night and tonight it was some sweets from Sugarcube Corner.
“Oh no.” I moaned as I saw them sitting there drinking some malts smiles on their faces. “Smile now. You are just getting some bagels to eat.”
“So I was thinking that we could try to get our cutie marks in something like acrobats.” Scootaloo called out.
“Why don’t you try getting them in nothing? Oh wait you already have that.” I taunted holding myself in a way that drew the attention to my own cutie mark. Why do I hate them so much if I myself was a blank flank at one point as well? No time to think! I am here to get some bagels Diamond Tiara so stop stalling before somepony notices some noises coming from your stomach again!
“A few bagels please.” I said in the most proper voice I could pull through my hunger.
“Why sure thing.” Mrs. Cake chimed walking back to grab the fresh pastries. “And here you are that will be five bits.”
“I only have four.” I panicked looking around for some way to get one bit and my eye was drawn to a flash of gold as a bit was set at the edge of a table towards me. “Oh no.”
The one who had placed said bit was none other than the little sister of generosity Sweetie Belle. I needed that bit but I didn’t want to look like some peasant. My family is rich so I should have brought more with me when I went to get food. My stomach eventually won my little struggle as I walked over and accepted the bit.
Those little brats! Acting like helping me get food was no big deal as they didn’t even watch me take it! Why I ought to. My mind blanked for a second as I realized that they had just helped pay for me to eat for another night.
“Thanks.” I muttered walking back to get my meal.
“No problem.” Sweetie Belle beamed out not even checking for a cutie mark as they always did if they did something significant.
“How dare they!” I screamed as I slammed the door to my house closed. “Acting like feeding me is no big deal! Almost like they are about me getting food! Why would they care after all that I’ve..... done to them. All the bullying and name calling and they were still willing to help pay for my dinner.”
Say what you want but there was no way I was going to say anything about this to anypony and with some luck they would do the same. Daddy was going to be late again as the sun fell marking the end of my day. Who cares if I get a bedtime story or if I get tucked in like some bug or if I get to hear my daddy say “Goodnight” I’ve been living my life without that stuff ever since mommy left.
I can read books and I can lay under the blankets so who needs someone else to do it for me. I don’t want to have somepony tell me goodnight when all I do is sleep without dreams waiting for the next day. Not even my.....
The door downstairs opened as I set my book aside about to fall asleep. “Diamond Tiara? Are you asleep?” Daddy called out in a hushed yet prominent voice.
“Daddy?” I couldn’t believe that he was home already with the moon just rising and me awake. “One second Daddy.”
“There you are. How is my little mare doing?” He giggled as I rushed down and threw my hooves around him.
“I’m doing great Daddy.” I lied not wanting to worry him. “Do you have dinner?”
“I hurried home so that I could hopefully have a nice dinner with my little princess.” Daddy laughed as he set a bag with some fruits and other foods in it.
We sat on the couch eating the dinner as we enjoy each others company for the first time in what was possibly weeks. I guess that even the sun has to set in paradise.
“Listen Diamond Tiara. I know that I promised I would be home early tomorrow but some things have come up and I need to be there to make sure that everything is fine and.... oh I’m so sorry.” Daddy said short of breath.
“Its okay Daddy. I don’t mind.” Why do I lie so much when all I have to do is ask him to hurry home yet instead I act as though he could never come home and I would be unaffected. “Just do me a favor and leave a few more bits for food this time.”
“Oh no. How much did I leave this morning?”
“Four bits. I was able to get some food still. Don’t worry.” What was I saying! He should worry! If he worried then maybe he would be home more and I wouldn’t be arguing with myself right now!
“I’ll make sure to leave at least eight okay?” He promised me as he always did. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” I muttered unable to keep my own eyes open as Laid out on the couch and fell asleep.
No Daddy, no breakfast save some bread for toast. Just another normal morning. At least the shower has never done anything to me except help hide the tears of my day as I got ready for school. Makeup, Tiara, smile. I think I’m ready for the day if only I could get that one bit out of my head.
“Alright class. Now who can tell me...” Miss Cheerilee began. I don’t hate her in any way but I don’t see the point of going to school any more if I’m just gonna inherit enough money to keep me going for years and an entire business that should be able to run itself. “Can anyone tell me the answer?”
“fourteen?” AppleBloom called out rather unsure of her answer.
“Correct.” No surprise there. Did anypony ever get something wrong in this class was something that I would never know. “Alright then. Its time for recess.”
“Come on Silver Spoons.” I called out hoping for her to be at my side in a second yet there was nopony there. “Silver Spoons? Oh no.”
“Silver Spoons isn’t here today. She has the flu so she had to stay home sick.” Came the rending call from Cheerilee as she saw me looking for my friend. “Perhaps somepony else would be willing to play with you?”
Why would they ever want to play with me? I’ve done nothing but bully those who are nicest in the hopes that I wouldn’t be stuck with them. Just here I was stuck in a playground without a friend in sight and no real drive to make any friends.
Its okay, I don’t mind, Why should I care? No! I’m sick of the lies and I’m sick of being alone all the time! If I could just sum up the strength to walk over to them as they sat by the flagpole talking of cutie marks and planning some adventurous thing after another.
“What are you three up to?” I asked trying to at least have a conversation.
“What do you care?” Came the response as I saw just how they felt about having me around.
“I was just asking. Don’t get all defensive.”
“Well sorry but after all that you’ve said I think that we have every reason to be defensive. Now if you don’t mind.” That was it. The final nail in the coffin for me. School was only half over and already I was sick of the day.
What would they care if somepony like me just went home. Nopony ever stopped by to see if I was okay they all just assumed that I was sitting up in my room playing with a bunch of toys or sitting reading some diamond encrusted book. I guess that means that nopony ever sees the tears.
“Can’t even make a few friends now. Well at least you have enough money for some decent food tonight.” I hoped looking over to see that daddy had left the eight bits he had promised. “At least I can count on that staying.”
Okay. I made a few simple mistakes today but that’s nothing that a good book can’t solve right? Something happy now so I don’t shed any more tears. Ooh this looks nice.
Happy person in a happy place with her father.... surrounded by friends.... and loved by all she meets...... Why can’t I be like that for even one day? Its not like I’m asking for the princess herself to come over and play just one day of being loved.
Why bother? Its not going to happen and I know it. I’ve always known that I can’t be happy as I am and I’m fine with that. No! Enough with the lies! I can’t stand the thought of lying to myself one more time! Just talk to somepony!
“Who?” Anypony! “There is nopony who would want to help me.” Lies! “I’m talking to myself again.” That is why you have to get help! “Who would help a filly who has just hated for as long as I can remember!? Who!?”
I didn’t answer as I fell to the ground it tears. I wished for somepony, anypony to have heard my self struggle and walk in to help but the walls were thick and my yells were weak. Why would life give me a free day if it owed me nothing. All that life has ever done for me is take my mother from me and keep my Daddy late at work.
“Life owes nopony anything.” Stop lying to yourself. “I’ll stop lying as soon as I stop talking to myself.”
“Hello? Are you home?” Came a famililar call from the front door. “Diamond Tiara?”
“Who’s there?!” I called out scared by the sudden intruder.
“Its AppleBloom. You left school early so Cheerilee asked me to come and see if you were okay.” She called up at me not even aware that I was peeking at her around the corner. “Are you sick or something?”
“I’m fine.... No I’m not.” I called back walking out of my place of hiding to show my mane to be a mess and my cheeks still showing signs of the tears that had flowed down them just a few minutes ago.
“What’s wrong?”
“Its nothing much I just.... I don't even know.” Lies! Just tell her and be done with it!
“Is there anyway I can help?” How could she ask such a thing after all that I’ve done and all the worry I’ve given her?
“I’ve just been lonely lately.” I lied again tears coming to as I did. What is wrong with me if the solution to my pain is right here before me and I’m to afraid to ask for it! “Alright! I’ve always been lonely!”
“What are you talking about? You and Silver Spoons are always together.”
“Yeah but do you ever see me with any other pony? The only friend I have is Silver Spoons. I don’t even have anypony here at home most of the time.” I whimpered feeling my very heart drop as I did. What if she laughed and said I deserved it? Or even worse what if she told all the other ponies at school?!
“I never thought of that. You always look so happy whenever I see ya.”
“I didn’t want anypony to be worried for me.” Why did I just reveal that?! What is it about AppleBloom that is making me talk as though I have nothing to worry about?!
“We are even more worried if you just run off from class without telling anypony.” That tone and posture. Is she actually caring about how I feel?
“I’m okay. Its just been a rough week for me.” I stated about to escort her out of my house when she threw her hooves around me.
“Well now it should be a bit better.” I couldn’t believe what was happening! She was hugging me as though we were best friends! She was saying all she could to help me feel better.....
“Thanks.” It was all I could muster as the tears came faster. All of this hurt over a single bit?! No... not over a bit but over the act of giving the bit to one who you should hate.
“No problem. Now we better get you back to the school before miss cheerilee gets worried and comes over to find you like this.”
“Hold on.” I whispered pushing myself from her and rushing upstairs to the bathroom. I needed my makeup and my mane was a mess as I struggled to fix it
“Let me help.” AppleBloom cheered as she grabbed the brush and began combing it through my mane. I hadn’t even been aware that she was still in my house and I didn’t expect her to help me look good again. Yet here she was brushing my mane try to get it to look as it normally did as I removed any evidence that I had cried.
“Thank you.”
“Anytime.” She cheered a smile on her face in the mirror as she finished with my mane and placed my tiara back on my head. I couldn’t understand what she was feeling as she did. It was a new feeling to me.... could it really be..... caring?
“How do I look?”
“Compared to your normal or compared to everypony elses normal? You look great as always.” How could she be so kind to one so mean? It made no sense. By what I’ve done to her she should have run off and told everypony in sight about how I’m some filly who cries by herself instead of going to school.... a little filly who can’t even fix her own mane and has to get help from one who should be her enemy.
“Thanks.” Seemed to be the only word I could think of as she complimented me.
“Now come on. Lets get back before somepony finds out about this.” She cheered her usual grin showing.
“How can you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Everything. You have a loving family and friends. You can even forgive a filly like me.” I muttered hating every word as I did. It was almost as if my mind just trusted her even though the rest of me didn’t.
“I just be myself. Nopony hates me for it.” I had.
“Lucky.”
“I might be lucky but my life is not perfect.” She beamed holding a hoof out to me. “How about I help you out a bit.”
My mind was in shreds as I stared at the hoof. How could I trust that she wasn’t just going to leave me broken worse than I already am? I guess that I just have to take that risk if I want to be happy.
“Please do.”
Author's Note
This ended up a lot more depressing than I originally wanted but I think that I got what I wanted in so tell me what you think.
