Behind Curtain Number Two - Part One

"Oh, what does this do?! Or this?! Or this?! Or-- ooooh, Dashie was your wing always this shade of blue?"

"Ugh, can't this thing go any faster? I could have made it to Canterlot and back by now! I don't see why we couldn't just -- Pinkie Pie, would you stop it already?!"

"Ah- Ah agree with Rainbow on this one, Twilight... Ah'm not... feelin'..."

"What?! No! Don't you dare get vomit anywhere near that dress -- that dress took me absolutely hours to complete, I'll have you know, and before I could even begin I had to go out to collect more gems and find the fabrics I needed... and that store... not even my worst enemy should have to endure the pure, unadulterated horror of that shop! The collection was small, the service was dreadful, and everypony insisted on picking up and immediately putting down that one piece of cheap fabric at the checkout desk--"

"Girls, please!"

Fluttershy smiled and sighed to herself in the corner, quietly sipping her drink as chaos broke out around her, and studied the interior of the flying wagon she was seated in. The seat itself was nice, red, soft, but strong enough to support her back, and the drink in front of her was -- oh... oh dear, now Applejack was sticking her head out the window; Fluttershy hoped she was okay... and Rarity would be so ang-- and the drink in front of her was a nice ruby red of a similar shade. There were several pillows stored underneath the row of seats placed beneath her in case they were in any way uncomfortable, and -- oh my, Rainbow Dash was flapping her wings on accident... Twilight looked like she was about to--

Fluttershy gave up.

Her friends...  Fluttershy supposed it was to be expected, the chaos. After all, you couldn't expect to put the Elements of Harmony in a small, cramped space (for two hours now...) without something going terribly wrong. They just all had distinct personalities, loves and interests that made them different from each other, yet made Fluttershy love them, and sometimes those differences lead to some squabbling on the side. Really, the only thing they shared was their low tolerance levels... and short attention spans...

B-But Fluttershy still loved them. Even though Rainbow Dash was groaning and fidgeting in her seat while Pinkie Pie told jokes and pressed random buttons and Rarity squealed and flinched away from a heaving, green Applejack and Twilight groaned and rubbed her temples and took deep and easy breaths -- gasp -- she loved them.

Not very much at that moment, but she did. She just hoped they didn't start to fight... in fact, maybe it was time to break this up; Twilight's face was drawn into a furious snarl of a frown, her ears twitching down against her face. Fluttershy didn't want her to catch fire, and it looked like she was close, flames starting to lick at individual strands of her mane underneath her crown. A-And... oh dear, Pinkie Pie was starting to jump around and put Twilight's window up and down over and over again... The fire was starting to get bigger...

Yes! Enough was enough! She had to get the others to calm down, for Twilight's sake.

Fluttershy straightened out her back, sitting up and at attention. She squinted her eyes into a determined, concerned glare, popping her wings backward with a crack and pulling the sleeves of her green dress roughly away from her forelegs. She took a deep breath, her head craning backwards to prepare and...

"Oh, um, girls? C-Could we all be quiet for a bit?"

Nothing happened. The chaos continued. Fluttershy's sleeves rolled back down her legs by themselves, Fluttershy sagging forward. Why didn't it work? She had yelled so loudly...

"Girls? Let's all just quiet down, please."

And then everything went wrong.

Applejack brought her face back into the flying wagon, her muzzle dripping with a greenish, pink goo. Fluttershy jumped and placed a hoof against her breast, and Rarity let out a girlish squeal that echoed through the wagon while she scooted as far away as she possibly could. This sent her with her hooves circling around Twilight's waist, with Rarity screaming right into her ear and the flames growing higher and Pinkie putting the window up and down and up and down and...

"Girls?"

Rainbow Dash turned sharply away, putting one hoof in front of her in order to shield her eyes and the other going over her mouth. Her wings fanned out in disgust, her body now turned one-hundred eighty degrees in her seat, and her feathers smacked Twilight in the face. Twilight kept trying to spit them out and Rainbow kept moving and hitting her again and again and Rarity kept screaming and Pinkie Pie kept rolling the window up and down with a squeak and Twilight's fur was turning white...

"Girls? G-Girls?! P-Please!"

The liquid dripping from Applejack went straight into Twilight's glass of water, which was sitting directly in front of her on the table, and her head caught fire completely...

...AND WHY WOULDN'T PINKIE STOP ROLLING THE WINDOW UP AND DOWN?!

Fluttershy gasped, jumping from her seat and watching as flames trickled down Twilight's fur, completely obliterating her dress into a pile of ash. Fluttershy looked wildly around, fanning at the flames and desperately trying to put them out, but it just wasn't working and...

Fluttershy snatched her glass of sparkling juice off of the tiny table in front of her and wildly threw it towards Twilight in hopes that it would stop the wagon from going up in flames. Already the fire was starting to spread and light the seat under her, and smoke poured off of it and directly into Rarity's screaming face. This had to extinguish the fire, it had to. If not, then the wagon would have to be pulled over for an immediate stop, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Twilight carrying the others out, and this entire trip would be for nothing.

... the juice poured out over Twilight, the fire around her snuffing out. Smoke rolled away from the fire with a sharp hiss, Rarity pulling back from Twilight's mane, which was now slicked down against her face by the juice. A collective gasp went through the wagon as the remainder of the smoke barreled out the open windows...

... and then the glass that Fluttershy threw cracked Twilight directly between the eyes.

...

Squeaaak... Vrrrrm... Squeaaak... Vrrrrm...