“The suite?” I asked Blackjack with a bit of amazement.
“That’s what she said. I mean, we did almost get ourselves killed.” She shrugged and kept walking beside me.
“Then maybe we should just get this room on permanent reserve.” I stared at the ground.
She laughed.
I looked up at her and smiled. “Caprice had a lot less love for that place than you thought, huh?”
“I knew she had her eye on BOOM,” she said matter-of-factly.
I slowed my walk. “I thought you just wanted to help those ponies.”
“Of course, and we did help them. A lot of them.” Blackjack didn’t stop or slow down. “How many ponies do you know, Dash-head or not, that would enjoy being eaten by a tainted hydra? I say we helped, plus it was pretty cool that we got to see a fireworks factory go up, right?”
It was the right thing to do, I guessed. I could tell she felt that way too. Whatever the compensation was, it was probably well deserved. I wondered if Caprice was paying out for Karma here..
Nah, superstition.
I upped my gait to catch her. “Blackjack?”
She looked back.
“Do you think you’re a good pony?” It was a loaded question, I knew, but I kinda wanted to talk about this right now.
She sighed heavily. “Do I think I’m a good pony...” She was thinking aloud.
“I think you are,” I said.
She smiled at me again, then turned forward to keep walking.
“For what that’s worth anyway.” I blushed a little. I wasn’t sure if it meant much to her, but I really liked to see her smile.
“I try, Glory, I really do,” she said. “I was talking about guilt before–”
“I overheard.”
“Right. I just, ugh, I don’t know. I hate myself sometimes, and sometimes I feel like I’m the only good force in this whole fucked up world.” She stopped walking.
I overstepped, then turned to face her.
“Sometimes I wish I was alone, I hate that I had to drag you and P-21 into this.” She stomped her hoof and looked off into the horizon. “Hell, Rampage can take care of herself, but I already put her life in danger not two days after she saved mine.”
“Everything we’ve done, we’ve chosen to do.” I wanted to hug her, but I didn’t think the middle of the street was the appropriate place. “You didn’t steal me from the Enclave and you didn’t put a gun to P-21’s head and make him follow you around.”
“I might as well have, he had no choice with a broken leg.” She was really being hard on herself.
I wasn’t saying she was perfect, but her self image was seriously distorted. “You helped him, he would have died without you.”
“And you’re just a filly, what choice did you have?” she said, ignoring me. It wasn’t that she didn’t hear me, she was just in the middle of a rant. “Hang out alone, stuck inside a death trap, or follow the monster with the crazy eyes out into the fray.”
“I shot you, and you didn’t shoot back, that’s why I came.” It was more than that, I guess, but I would have chose her again if I had the chance.
“And Rampage was ordered. I don’t know what I did to get a reaper as a bodyguard, but I’m still putting that one on me.” She ground her hoof into the dirt. “I killed forty foals!”
I shyed away from her. I wasn’t scared, but by the way her eyes melted, I bet I looked it.
She put her hoof on my shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay, I’m not mad at you.”
“I know.” I smiled, crossing my front hooves and looking away..
She sighed once again. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t vent at you like that.”
“You should.” I wanted to hug her so badly.
Blackjack gave me a sober grin. “Thanks.”
It wasn’t much of a conversation, but how much could I really expect her to give me in the middle of Flank?
I followed her, faithfully trailing a half length behind at her side. We were going to the hotel-ish place that Caprice had given her the suite in. Blackjack had low expectations, but I was excited to see her nice room.
When we got up to the building itself I was kind of overwhelmed. The atmosphere struck me more than anything, I was pretty sure the ponies laying in the dirt outside weren’t dead, just addicts or something.
I had to admit, I was hoping Blackjack would let me stay in her room.
I’d tell her there were no beds left. Anything that wasn’t: ‘Please let me sleep in your bed tonight because I’m scared.’
We peeked into one of the rooms on the ground floor. They were cheap, and not without reason.
“Oh these are just lovely,” Blackjack said. “What better bedding could you ask for than dried blood on old raider clothes?”
I leaned against the doorway and gave her the double eyebrow raise and a little, half smile.
“You’re right, needs some vomit.” She turned to keep going.
Rooms was huge, after seeing how big the first floor was, my ‘I couldn’t find a spot’ excuse was sounding weak.
“Blackjack?” I said as we walked up the stairs.
“Hmm?”
“Would you mind if I stayed with you tonight?” I blushed again, I didn’t know why.
“You can’t exactly go find Rampage. A filly and a reaper walk into Stable 69 sounds like the start of a really bad joke,” she said. She brushed her mane with her hoof, she definitely had a punchline.
“Don’t even,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Oh, just give me one!”
I gave her a level look.
“Well, you’re no fun.” She ruffled my hair before taking out a key to open the stairwell’s top exit.
The third floor smelled significantly less like mold and chemicals than the first and second, the walls were notably less destroyed, and the amount of bodily fluid on the ground was at a much more reasonable level.
The carpet was actually pretty nice, I cherished every step on the fabric. Why couldn’t the wasteland be so soft?
“What number was the suite again?” she asked me as she scratched her mane. I noticed she was considerably cleaner than normal, probably got cleaned up after that whole hydra fiasco.
“Did they even give you a number?” The third floor had a few bronze numbers still tacked up on the doors, but I doubted they would have assigned rooms that way. I was grateful it had doors at all. “What do you think the basement’s like?”
“That’s probably where they keep the convicts.” Blackjack scoured the doors, levitating the second key in front of her face.
“It’s probably where they keep the trash.” I thought aloud.
“Hey, don’t talk about ponies like that,” she said.
“But I–” My cheeks reddened. I caught her smile. She always got me with that stuff, she probably wasn’t even trying to.
We turned the corner. “Here we go,” she said.
Yep, here we went. There were windows looking in, and the huge canopied bed with beautifully white sheets spoke volumes about the overall quality. This was definitely the suite.
“Key works, we’re in the right place.”
“Wow...” The room was sort of pretty, the windows to the outside were punched out, but the curtains blew in the breeze. I bet at some point the doors had lead out to a balcony. I pulled the curtains over the windows into the hallway.
Blackjack went to push the doors open. “No suite is complete without a dead drop.” She stuck her neck out over the edge.
She certainly liked to live dangerously. “I guess not...” I gave her a weird look. She wasn’t pulling her head back. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, just sometimes... Don’t you wonder?”
“You need some sleep.” I furrowed my brow, taking a few steps towards her. “I know it seems bad now, but get some rest, see how it is in the morning.” I couldn’t believe she was saying anything even remotely close to this. I thought she’d feel better after we talked. She must have been worse than I thought.
“I’m fine,” she said, coming back inside and shutting the doors.
“I’ve heard that before.” I went to latch them, keeping an eye on her.
“I’m tired.” Blackjack threw herself onto the bed, it had some bounce to it, but it looked incredibly fluffy.
“I know, me too.” I yawned and looked at the carpet, it was better than the garbage mattresses we usually slept on. I lifted my hooves up and set them down a few times, trying to get a good feel for it.
“You’d pass up this bed for the floor? Come on Glory, take a nap with Blackjack.” She didn’t even turn over. “I don’t bite.”
It wasn’t like I hadn’t slept right next to her before, what was the difference if it was on a real bed?
I got up and crawled snugly under the covers. My muscles instantly relaxed, the cool sheets were collapsing on my body as I let them down. “Ahhhh....” I blinked a few times, then saw Blackjack had rolled over.
I felt like a million caps, it was like as long as I was happy there was something to keep her going. We fed off each other that way, I guess.
“Do you really think I’m following you because I don’t have a choice?” i asked her. I shut my eyes and let my head sink into the pillow.
She sighed. “I don’t know... Don’t get me wrong, I like having you, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I just don’t think you have a choice.”
I made a pouty face. “You don’t think I could handle myself?” I propped my body up on my front hooves. “I was alone for a while you know. I was with the Enclave when you found me, believe me when I say I had a choice.”
“I know, but–”
“Hold on.” I put my hoof to her lips. “Do you realize that they offered to take me back? I chose you when they offered me the best possible situation, I don’t care if it was a hoax, you are the best option for me.”
She kissed me on the forehead. I imagined my cheeks told her how I felt about that.
“Good night Morning Glory.” She rolled over, not bothering to shed her barding or slide under the covers.
Her mane lay on my muzzle, right now I couldn’t get enough of her scent. Clean-ish never smelled so divine.
After an hour or so she rolled away in her sleep, dragging her beautiful locks across my nose.
Dreams eluded me, so I just watched her. Her breaths were normal, not like when she was exploding from Buck overdose. I kind of wondered if there was some special loophole for her, she never seemed to feel any of the addictive properties. I chocked it up to luck; wasn’t everything with Blackjack?
Her chest rose and fell gently under her security gear. All I could think about was just interacting with her, simple as that. I didn’t want to wake her. This feeling kept coming over me, like I should just tell her how much she meant to me, even though I already had twice today. I wanted her to reciprocate. I wanted to hold her and just let her hold me.
I touched her side.
“You’re still awake?” she asked.
I pulled back, my eyes widened. Should I have been asleep?
“You are, aren’t you?” She turned over and groaned.
“Maybe.”
“What’s up?”
“Nothin’.” I was glad she was awake.
She looked at me.
I nuzzled her under her chin. “Can I hug you?”
Blackjack took me in her arms and put her head on the back of my neck.
My heart was pounding, I could feel her’s too. So much emotion wanted to pour from my heart. I opened my mouth, but I just squeaked a little. I was definitely in a cold sweat, I suddenly became conscious of my wings tensed against my sides.
I nestled into her embrace and put my arms around her.
“Thank you for coming with me,” she said. “I know it wasn’t an easy choice.”
I hugged her tighter. Did she know exactly what I was thinking?
“But I’m glad you made it.”
“I’m glad too.” I bit my lip and choked back some tears I didn’t know I had. Damnit Blackjack!
“You know it’s not getting any easier right?”
I just nodded.
“I can’t imagine what I’d do if something happened to you,” she said.
She was being so stoic, I admired how much power she held in her words without getting emotional. I was scared, and her arms were all the sanctuary I could have ever asked for.
I pushed away and looked her in the eye, then– woah.
I don’t think I’d ever even thought of a first kiss, that’s just not the kind of thing a girl has time for when she’s out and about in the Hoof, but this was some kind of kiss.
Her mouth tasted like alcohol, but I probably tasted like dirty water. Why was I thinking about that right now?
I think she was about to pull away when I finally had a mind to kiss back. I had no idea what I was doing, but I moved my lips and tried to do what she did.
Blackjack pulled away and – wow – was she ever beautiful right now. Her hair covered the upper right part of her face, just over her eye, which she quickly flipped away. Her breath was a lot faster, her smile had become more serious, and her eyes pierced straight through me.
I kissed her again, dismissing any thought she might have had that I didn’t want this. I wouldn’t let her think she was taking advantage of me. She tried something with her tongue. She was in my mouth! This was so much fun!
She was breathing really heavily now, and her body was so hot. She touched my stomach through the covers. My heart dropped, I could feel something heavy in my gut. I kissed her again. She moved a little lower.
What. Even. I. Don’t. What.
I shook at her caress, my lips curled. “Ah...” I couldn’t contol my breathing in the slightest. I mimicked her motions, but I had no clue what was going on. “My–”
“Shh-shh-shh.” She licked my neck. “Can I do anything to make you more comfortable?” she whispered in my ear before pulling away.
I took a second to catch my breath. “Armor?”
She got off the bed.
I bounced with the shifting weight.
Slowly she shrugged out of the barding, using magic to guide it properly.
The look she had on when she crawled under the covers with me was not one of lust, not of trivial want or seduction. I saw a pony who wanted nothing more than another who cared about her. The real Blackjack.
I reached out to her, brushing her mane. She took my hoof and brought it down to hold her body. She overtook me, slowly locking her neck into mine, bringing her hoof to me and delicately showing me her affection.
“Hah...” She was gentle. I was, apparently, hypersensitive. The most minute motions made me twitch, and I could barely find the mental focus for basic cognition. I wanted to return a hundred fold, but she wasn’t going to let me quite yet. Her hot breath on the back of my neck was such a tender touch.
She stopped for a bit. “You’re not getting wet,” she said.
What? Was I doing something wrong? Oh my–, I didn’t even know I had something to do. I started to push away. “I–I’m so sorry, I–”
I was silenced by her lips overtaking my own.
Oh, how I loved her tongue, but how did I get wet? I was on the verge of tears. “I can do it, I swear.”
“You’re young, and it’s not always natural.” She touched herself, then moved her legs in closer to me.
I touched her too. She was guiding my hoof along the most incredible thing I’d ever felt in my life. Forget what I said earlier, Blackjack was perfect.
I could smell her now. I pressed my nose into her fur and inhaled as deep as I could. She let me play with her and I sort of got the basic motions down with help from her unintelligible vocal cues. Oh, and the noises, the pretty little noises of my little hoof running along her made my blood boil.
We moved back to me. I focused deeply and tried my hardest to control my spasms.
“You’re so cute,” she said. “Don’t be embarrassed, I love when you jerk around like that.”
She knew exactly what to say. I let my body do as it pleased, kicking a little bit when we touched here, tensing hard when we got there.
I was still having a hard time getting wet on my own, most of it was Blackjack’s.
“Let’s do this.” She started to move away.
“I’m having fun, though.”
“This is fun too.” She put her head under the covers and I felt her nose on my tummy.
The warmth was coming from both of us, but when I felt her tongue I couldn’t believe I didn’t scream.
I grabbed one of the pillows and squeezed it tight in my forehooves. My body didn’t know how to react. I prayed I wouldn’t break Blackjack’s nose.
I saw her butt sticking out from under the covers. I sighed, I wished I was that gorgeous. Even with a dozen scars I was pretty sure she was the most beautiful mare I’d ever seen. Her tail waved with every couple licks.
She pressed her muzzle in hard just above where she was licking. I loved that, she had to do that more. Then her tongue went in, I hadn’t thought about in. My mouth gaped. I closed my eyes and clung to that pillow like it was the last cloud in the sky.
“Mmmmmm!” I clenched my teeth, I was trying so hard to hold it together. I felt like I had to pee really badly.
She was pushing me so hard, then she stopped. “What happened?” I asked her, pushing myself up from the pillow. I couldn’t catch my breath, but I really wanted her to keep doing that.
“Does it hurt?” she asked, coming up from beneath the covers.
Hurt? “What?”
“You’re so tense, I’m not hurting you am I? I feel like you’re not enjoying this.”
“I don’t think so.” I rested my head back down. This was so hard, I kept screwing up.
She kissed me again, but I didn’t kiss back. I was so scared of messing up anything else. “What should I be doing?”
Blackjack nuzzled me, then put her hoof on my hips again. “Relax,” she said, blinking slowly. “Just let go.”
I wrapped my arm around her neck to run through her mane, and let her guide the other over herself again.
“Move slowly, don’t rush anything.” Blackjack used her free hoof to play with me. Every now and then she brought it to her mouth, then returned to me. I think she was mirroring our motions.
Still, I wasn’t wet like she wanted me to be. I just let my body go now. Every time I twitched she let out a little breath, she seemed to be teasing them out. I put my mouth up to hers and we touched lips, but just breathed on each other.
“It’s okay, trust me,” she said. “I won’t let anything bad happen.”
I nodded, then threaded my tongue through her teeth and tasted the roof of her mouth; and I think also myself. We shared spit, and I swallowed hers, what a weird thing to turn me on. “I want to taste you,” I said. My stomach got butterflies.
Now that she was verbally bringing me through this, I felt a lot more comfortable doing what I liked.
She moved her hoof to my mouth, the one she was using to guide me.
I took a few delicate laps. “More?” I said as I looked up at her.
She kissed me on the cheek.
She placed both hooves on the top of my head and lightly guided me beneath the blankets. My nose brushed against her fur. Much of her coat was matted with sweat, but the lower part of her belly was slick. She tasted like sweat, love, and sunshine.
She held my head steady, occasionally pushing me in or rocking her hips against me.
I wanted to play with myself too, so I drooled a little on my hoof and touched her before I tried it. It made a huge difference when I had more than just saliva to help myself, the fact that it was from Blackjack made it even better.
She stiffened her forelegs and my tongue stroked over her. When it touched near the top, she gasped. I focused there.
She fell silent. Her muscles froze.
I heard her struggling for air. I tried to stop but she forced me back down, it hurt my neck a little. “Keep going...” Her voice was shaky.
Her stomach rose against my head and then receded, she took a deep breath and held it.
So that was the good spot? I pressed harder, and by the the sound of things I was pretty sure she liked it.
The underside of my tongue was pressing against my teeth hard enough to irritate it.
She finally let go of a quivering breath. “Glory...” It was a kind of helplessly happy sigh. When I didn’t stop licking, she lifted my head.
I rested my face on her chest and she crossed her forelegs behind my head.
I had kind of thought of Blackjack as a big sister. I thought she saw me as just some kid that followed her and made her life harder. I didn’t know what to think now.
“What am I to you?” Woah, didn’t expect that from her.
Gah, the questions I couldn’t answer myself. “I like you, Blackjack.” That was true: it was simple and honest.
“How?” Her tone was flat.
“Not the way I thought,” I said. I shifted to lay on my side.
“Maybe it’s something we should talk about.”
“Being around you makes me happy,” I said, not looking at her. “You’re like someone I grew up with.”
“It scares me, Glory,” she said. Her words were soft.
“I’m always scared,” I said. I tried to flex my wings a little, they felt stiff.
“If I feel this way about you.” She stopped to sigh. “It raises the stakes, you know?”
I did know. On top of all her other worries she would have to hold us together. I felt a lump in my throat. I breathed out. “You’ll never be alone,” I choked out. “Either way, I mean.”
“I didn’t–” She stopped. “Thank you.” She turned over and formed her body to outline mine.
She didn’t want to be with me. Or she did but didn’t think it was worth the effort. Ouch. It felt like my lungs were about to burst.
I’d just given her my first... I couldn’t help it, damnit, I started to cry. I kept as quiet as I could. Grown-up decisions sucked. If it meant I’d worry more about her, that just meant we cared about each other more.
The things I couldn’t say to her were piling up. I just told her it was okay if she didn’t want to be with me, I couldn’t go back on it now.
Things started feeling wrong. My heart sank into my stomach, I grabbed the bed sheet tight between my hooves.
I knew she cared for me deeply, but I felt used. Why did this have to hurt so badly?
Blackjack’s warmth tried to comfort me, her hooves caressed my hips. She began to rock her hips rhythmically into mine. She felt dirty. Her matted fur rubbed against mine and made me itch.
Wait, what?
Oh. No. Oh please. No.
The tears were here. They quickly reached my lips and rolled down onto the pillow. I did my best to hide them. Did she not realize how much she was hurting me right now?
Twenty seconds ago, fine. Now, no!
I was too embarrassed to stop her. I couldn’t say anything or she’d think I was trying to make her feel guilty. She was just trying to do what she thought was right.
Maybe if I just didn’t make any noise, didn’t respond, maybe then she’d stop.
Her hooves found me, then her back leg slid up between the two of mine.
She wasn’t going to stop.
I closed my eyes and tried to grasp how I was going to make this believable.
Blackjack gasped the next time her hips pushed into me. At least someone was having fun. The dried mats of fur were becoming slick again.
My chest heaved as I tried to hide the sobbing. I felt like a worn out rag doll. I was in hell. All my emotions were being ripped out of me and forced to play nice with each other, and I was barely holding myself together.
I matched her noises, letting her warm up for a while before my performance. I wasn’t sure how long I should wait, all this contact was starting to hurt.
I started shivering, Blackjack’s leg was rough. She was wet enough for both of us.
I didn’t realize I was drooling on myself. She licked it off my neck, the context made all the difference.
Her movements were becoming more forceful.
I gritted my teeth and gave a high pitched squeak, tensing all my muscles. I rolled back and forth, continuing to moan.
All of a sudden my whole left leg was soaked.
She squeezed me tight, sucking in air.
I felt her ribs press into my back.
“Gah!” She squirmed, finally removing her hooves from me and trying to hold herself. It was better than the first one, it looked like. Her eyes shut and her head laid still with a wide smile. She was finally sated.
My misery paid off. I got up to look at her. I thought she made herself pass out.
I stood, sore on my hind end, feeling utterly disgusted with my body, just watching her sleep.
I was appalled with her. I thought I knew how P-21 felt. She really was the only positive force in the wasteland, but I couldn’t tell whether or not I hated her right now.
If I had a gun... I just didn’t know...
