“No,” Roseluck declared as she stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. Her mane was a frazzled mess having just gotten out of bed, but she could easily tell something was wrong. A part of her had been stolen and for the life of her she couldn’t fathom how it was possible. It just happened. At least, she didn’t want to believe it did. For all she knew this was some nightmarish dream.
She shakily brought up a hoof and ran it through her mane. Where she expected some resistance all she was met with was the smooth contour of her skull. “No, this is so not happening...” she muttered, now using both hooves to examine her forehead for what should have been there. She parted the strands and hesitantly glared at her disheveled self in the mirror.
After remembering to breathe, she cried out at the top of her lungs. “What happened to my horn?!!”
Roseluck bolted into her bedroom where her bed sat unmade and with excessive force she flipped the mattress off its frame. She frantically searched through the sheets and tore into the pillows, counting on the faint hope that her horn had simply fallen off in the middle of the night. It could be reattached, right? Pony doctors knew all sorts of complex magic stuff like that. And if they didn’t know what to do she would go to Princess Celestia herself. And if that didn’t work there was always some exotic potion no one knew anything about. There was a solution to everything. There had to be.
However, she popped up out of the shambled mess the room had quickly become empty-handed. Eyes wide, she looked around and was startled to see dresser drawers had been flung out onto the floor, the window curtains were tattered shreds, and the ceiling fan was bent at an impossible angle—all including everything she had intentionally done, of course. Yet no matter how many times she overturned the room she didn’t find her missing horn.
Defeated, Roseluck waded out of the bedlam and into the kitchen, rambling to herself. “This is just some crazy nightmare,” she stated. “I’m going to wake up and everything will go right back to being normal. That’s how it always is. This is just a bad dream and everything will—ow!”
She backed up and poked at her bruised nose. With an angry glare she looked up at the refrigerator in front of her for several seconds. Something should’ve happened by now.
“Open!” she yelled at it, furrowing her brow in concentration, but the door refused to budge. Then, only after her rumbling stomach forced her turn, and with an exaggerated sigh, she reached a hoof out and opened the door manually.
She stared at the inside for a while longer before eventually reaching in and grabbing some bread and jelly with her hooves. With a solid, annoyed expression on her face she then went about the tedious task of actually physically putting the bread in the toaster. Not once in her life did she expect something so simple to be this hard. If only she could use her magic like she had been able to very single day up until this day for some oddball reason, this would all go by in a sinch. But noooo... no ordinary life for poor old Roseluck. Some ponies were just unfortunate enough to have their entire lifestyles change so drastically without warning or explanation.
The toast popped up steaming with a ding and Roseluck yelped in surprise. With a grunt she went to pull the toast out but then screamed a second time after burning herself. Boy, was she tense right now. If the toast could only understand the pure frustration burning behind her eyes, it would surely be apologizing profusely and begging for her mercy.
“Forget it,” she announced to the empty house. “I’m not hungry anymore.”
“Rose?” came a muffled squeak and her ears flicked at the voice. There were a couple knocks at the front door and then the owner spoke again. “It’s us, Lily and Daisy. We heard what sounded like screaming... is everything alright?”
“No!” she yelled and made a run for the door. She only stopped for two seconds this time before using her hooves to open it. “Everything's not alright!”
Her two friends gaped at her. Roseluck stood in the doorway panting heavily, her hair fraying in complete disarray, and her right eye was twitching.
“I’ll say!” Lily cried. “Look at your tail! And your coat! And your mane! No offense, but do you even own a mirror anymore?”
“Good thing I always come prepared,” Daisy chirped, pulling a small tote bag out of nowhere that was overflowing with sprays, creams, and all sorts of beauty products guaranteed to right the wrong they saw before them.
“I... What?! No!” Roseluck yelled. “I’m not... just... look at my horn!” she wailed, pointing at her forehead.
Daisy started rifling through her bag immediately and Lily just stared. “What horn?” she asked, and after some thought added, “...you do know you’re not a unicorn, right?”
“Yes, I know! I just woke up and it’s gone! I can’t believe this is happening to me!”
“Oh no,” Daisy muttered, looking up from what she was doing. “Did... did you have any of Applejack’s special cider?”
Lily’s eyes almost bulged out of their sockets at what was obviously the only explanation for why their friend was in such an ill state. “Rose, how many bottles did you drink?!” she shouted at her, genuinely concerned. “You know what that stuff does to you!”
Roseluck was shaking now and when she spoke her voice was cracking. “I’m not drunk! I-I was a unicorn but then I woke up and now I’m not!”
Her words fell on deaf ears. “You poor thing,” Lily whispered, walking up to embrace her friend in a comforting hug. Roseluck was too stunned to react: her friends were ignoring her! Granted, they all weren’t freaking out at the moment, which was good, but they weren’t listening either. It’s almost like the pony they knew, the closest friend the two of them had, had been an earth pony all her life!
Lily pat her on the back. “It’s alright, Rose. It’s alright, we’re here for you...” she cooed, tearing her from the doorway of her townhouse and out onto the front lawn where Daisy was busy getting everything they’d need prepared. Silent, Roseluck was practically dragged over to the grass where she was finally let go, but instead of laying down like either of her friends expected, her legs stood locked. The two of them just sighed.
“Here,” Daisy said, giving Lily a brush while she readied a bunch of moisturizers, and the two of them set to work on straightening out Roseluck as best they could. Fortunately, she stood completely still for them, but Roseluck’s blank stare left them on edge. Nonetheless, being the kind and observant friends they were, they went about their generous job without any real difficulty or complaint. Daisy fluffed her coat and applied some perfumes which made her friend smell like a fresh patch of strawberries, mimicking the scent of her shampoo as best she could. Lily undid all the tangles in her friend’s mane and tail, setting them into their familiar styles knowing exactly how she liked it. When all was said and done, their makeover left Roseluck so clean and kempt that any self-respecting spa would be admirable of their accomplishment.
Lily frowned. “This isn’t working.”
“I know,” Daisy remarked, looking at the canister in her hoof. “I think I might’ve gone a little overboard with the strawberries.”
Lily pointed at the tote bag. “You got any of Berry’s wake-up juice in there that we can give her?”
“Don’t you remember what happened last time? It took weeks to get that stain out of the ceiling.”
While the two shot back and forth, trying to come up with the next step they could take in order to get their friend to ‘snap out of it,’ Roseluck just stood there frozen in place, breathless and incapable of understanding much of anything. It’s not like she heard what they were saying anyway. There wasn’t even something for her to ‘snap out of.’ She knew she was a unicorn, just not anymore, and her closest friends didn’t so much as bat an eye at the fact she was missing her horn. It’s almost like she never had one to begin with and the way her friends acted it was as if in every memory they had of her she was just a humble, stupid, magicless earth pony.
Not to say there was anything wrong with earth ponies. Two of her best friends were earth ponies and she didn’t think lowly of them at all. She probably wouldn’t mind being an earth pony for the rest of her life either. But that’s beside the point. Simply put, there was no way any of this should be happening. She just wanted to be a unicorn again and for everything to go back to normal.
Lily and Daisy were still discussing their next course of action when another one of their friends showed up. Carrot Top appeared on the edge of the white picket-fence bordering the lawn, tossing her forelegs over the side. “Daisy!” she called, gaining all three of the ponies’ attention. “There you are! You said you wanted my help today, right?”
The realization hit Daisy like a sack of bricks. “That’s right!” she exclaimed, taken aghast and she quickly ran up to her. “I’m so sorry! It completely slipped my mind!”
“What are you doing?” Lily asked, walking up to them.
“Carrot Top is going to help me make a vegetable garden!” she chirped and clapped her hooves in excitement. But then her elated expression quickly fell into one of concern. “Will you two be alright by yourselves? I feel bad leaving you girls alone...”
“Oh, it’s no problem,” Lily dismissed with a wave of her hoof. “We’ll be fine. I already have an idea on how to wake her up.”
Daisy furrowed her brow. “As long as it doesn’t have anything to do with traffic cones...”
“What’re you two talking about?” Carrot Top asked as she leaned on the fence.
Daisy sighed. “Rose just isn’t herself right now. I don’t know what it is with her, but she’s been acting all strange.”
“She didn’t even bother to brush her hair this morning!” Lily whined. “It’s so unlike her!”
“She seems fine to me,” Carrot Top observed, gazing towards the pony in question. In unison the two others turned around as well, where Roseluck hadn’t budged an inch from where they left her. However, her attention was now intent and aimed directly at them, her eyes narrowed and her head tilted slightly to the side. The nagging thought of her transformation still nipped at her for sure, but now something else was taking hold at the forefront of her mind. Roseluck was never the kind who could easily read a pony, but something about seeing her friends standing close together creeped her out a little—well, specifically two of them. What bothered her the most was that she hadn’t noticed it before. She felt a little ashamed, actually, if in fact she never knew what was just now making itself apparent.
“Daisy, Carrot Top...” she started slowly, “you two aren’t sisters, right?”
The two ponies blinked and glanced to each other in confusion. “No...?” Carrot Top bemused. “I’m pretty sure we’re not.”
Roseluck clicked her tongue. “That’s what I thought...” she mused and then shook her head. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I never noticed before how similar you two look.”
If the two of them weren’t perturbed before they certainly were now. Daisy scrunched her nose and she and Carrot Top ran their eyes over each other, from their equally poofy manes to their equally curly tails to their equally proportioned bodies. After several seconds of uncomfortably analyzing each other, Daisy turned back and said, “I don’t get what you’re talking about.”
“I mean, your coat and mane colors are different obviously, but you just look really alike, I guess.”
“Yeah, I don’t see it,” Carrot Top casually remarked.
“Me neither,” Lily agreed.
Daisy nodded. “See what we mean though? She’s just acting all weird.”
“I am not!” Roseluck cried, stomping a hoof into the ground for emphasis. “I’m feeling perfectly fine! I mean, I know not, but I know I am!”
Lily shook her head and tsked. “You two run along,” she told them and slowly walked back over to Roseluck, whose legs were visibly shaking now. “I’ll deal with her.”
“Don’t I get a say in any of this?” Roseluck squeaked, watching Daisy gather up her things before departing with Carrot Top in tow.
“Shh...” Lily whispered and hugged her friend again. “It’s alright. I know just what you need.”
She grabbed her by the hoof and began pulling her forward. Roseluck stumbled ahead, completely dumbstruck by the morning’s turn of events. She couldn’t shake the thought from her mind, however, at how Daisy and Carrot Top resembled one another so closely. It was uncanny, especially considering how she’d never noticed it before. But there was no denying it. On her part, anyway. It was obvious she wasn’t getting through to anypony. For now, at least, perhaps it might be best to just roll along with it.
“Just sit tight, okay?” Lily told her with a kind smile, finally letting go of her hoof. “I’ll be right back.”
Roseluck hunched over the table she sat at, knowing very well how useless it would be to try and argue. Lily smiled at her before excusing herself into the building, leaving Roseluck alone in the middle of the outdoor café. Her table was one amongst many, barred off from the street by a simple yet ornate metal fence. Ponyville was alive, with every shop open for business and everypony going about their daily routines. She rested her head on the table annoyed, confused, lost, and glaring at nothing in particular. She didn’t really want to look at—let alone think about—anything right now anyway. Especially all the ponies: the more she watched those around her the more creeped out she became, but she couldn’t help herself. It was so unbelievably disturbing it was fascinating.
Bon Bon and Shoeshine walked past along the fence and she couldn’t help but observe how similar the curls of their manes were and how their tails bounced perfectly in synch. She couldn’t hear much of what they were saying, but she could’ve sworn it sounded like one voice was coming from both mouths.
Across the street, Minuette and Sea Swirl were standing in front of a shop window, chatting away about something Roseluck didn’t care at all to know. But their manes and tails had the exact same styles as the other, and to top it off their horns parted their manes in the exact same spot. What colors they were and their cutie marks were the only differences between them for all she was certain. Heck, they even stood the same way! It’s almost as if one pony was just copied, colored differently, pasted, and then slapped with a new cutie mark. Then Time Turner walked up to join the conversation and Roseluck noticed that his and Minuette’s cutie marks were exactly the same.
She found this all too chilling and slammed her face against the tabletop. She hissed at herself to wake up from this crazy nightmare but her subconscious was having none of it.
Lily then reappeared beside her holding a steaming cup of coffee. “Here,” she said and sat it down on the table. “You just need a little caffeine in your system and you’ll be back on your hooves in no time!”
Roseluck dragged her head up to glare at the drink. “What is it?” she grumbled.
“A quintuple-shot hazelnut-caramel espresso blend with no milk or cream, two tablespoons of cinnamon and some pure guarana extract, grande sized,” Lily said with a smile. “Oh, and there’s some of that ‘Summer Snow’ spice in there too. You told me before how much you liked it so I figured to put some in as well.”
Roseluck stared at the drink in front her, wondering how many sips it would take before she died. Though she had no intention of finding out. “Thanks, but no thanks,” she mumbled and pushed it away. “I don’t exactly plan on going to the hospital anytime soon.”
Lily furrowed her brow. “Well if you don’t cheer up soon, I might just have to take you there myself!”
Roseluck just sighed. She knew her friend’s intentions were heartfelt, but she just didn’t understand. She had tried explaining the situation to her before but Lily either didn’t hear her or just chose not to, and when compared to her missing horn and the strangeness around Ponyville, that’s what hurt her the most. She opened her mouth to retort, but before she could get a word in she was interrupted by a heavy bang.
They both turned to see Cloud Kicker after she had crash landed into a nearby empty table. “Lily!” she squealed, scrambling to her hooves as she ran up to their side. “Get down! Now!”
“What?” was all Lily could say before Cloud Kicker tackled her to the ground.
“Shh!” she hissed, shoving a hoof into the earth pony’s mouth. “Thunderlane is looking for you!”
Lily ceased her struggling and froze in place, her eyes wide and terror-stricken. Cloud Kicker was still trying conceal her by dragging her under the table, but Lily sunk her body into the ground so low the pegasus’ efforts were moot. She trembled, making a sound like a scared puppy and curled up to make herself as unnoticeable as possible.
Roseluck slowly glanced down at the two huddling ponies from where she sat. “I thought you two weren't dating?” she asked. She would’ve said more but she found herself too shocked to speak.
Lily’s hair always had a unique style to it. Her mane ran up the top of her head and came back down like the sleek sweeping arc of an ocean wave. Her tail had this little point on the end of it like an artist’s brush. Combined with its bright golden color and amber highlight, it’s what made her easy to identify even in a big crowd. No other pony in the entire town had a mane as smooth and shiny as hers.
No pony except for Cloud Kicker, apparently.
Lily glared up at her. “We’re not!” she whispered. “But Thunderlane just won’t get the hint that I’m not interested in him! He won’t ever leave me alone!”
“Shh!” Cloud Kicker hissed again. “Don’t look at us, Roseluck! You’ll give us away!”
Roseluck gladly took all the attention she could and diverted it elsewhere. She just needed to get her mind off of everything right now, but as the seconds ticked by that turned impossible. If she was too vocal about this, everypony would probably think she was insane. But no, she wasn’t crazy. She definitely wasn’t. If this wasn’t a dream than it had to be an elaborate ruse. Her horn was just made invisible and she forgot how to use magic. Everypony was just pretending she’d been an earth pony all her life. Everypony had decided to style their manes and tails similarly just to throw her off. That had to be it, right? There was a rational explanation for everything. Regardless, she had to remind herself that she wasn’t going insane and in the end this would all sort out and she would go back to living her perfectly ordinary, happy life. She just had to stay focused for the time being.
Roseluck wondered why her face felt so clammy.
Cloud Kicker poked her head up above the table and looked around. “The coast is clear,” she stated in a hushed tone, “for now, at least. But it’s not safe here anymore. We got to get you far away, somewhere inside where he’d never think to look for you.”
Lily hesitantly crawled out under the table. “B-but what about Rose—”
“She’s fine,” Cloud Kicker assured and then grabbed her hoof. “Hold on. I know where you can hide out.”
“But—” was all she could say before her voice gave way to a surprised scream, being taken away as Cloud Kicker shot up into the sky and then down the street with such speed it would give even Rainbow Dash a run for her money. Roseluck watched them go until they disappeared behind a set of buildings, Lily’s wails falling silent. Thunderlane then appeared momentarily, looking around like he heard a noise, before flying off to another corner of town.
Roseluck turned back to the coffee, stared at it, and then slammed her face into the tabletop for a second time with an exasperated groan.
“Whoa, watch it! You almost spilled your drink!” said a stranger who had very well come out of nowhere.
“Thanks,” she grumbled with her head still down.
“Are you feeling alright?” the stranger then asked, yet her soft voice was eerily familiar. Roseluck knew she shouldn’t have, and she even scolded herself internally not to, but she brought her eyes up anyway.
The first thing she saw was a deep yellow aura encasing the coffee cup and set it down before winking out of existence. A shadow then cast over her and Roseluck brought her eyes up higher, and her heart almost stopped.
Lyra gave her a look. “Tired or something?”
It took much longer than she was comfortable with to get a word out. “Yes,” she answered, feeling like the breath was being forcefully pulled out her throat. “I’m just... tired...”
“Crazy morning, I take it?” Lyra then asked and got a small nod in return. “Heh, do I know what those are like.”
Roseluck just stared. In retrospect, she probably shouldn’t have been so surprised. All things considered, it was only a matter of time before she ran into somepony who looked just like her—excepting the issue with the horn, of course, which irked her. But still, running into her own mirrored self was unnerving to say the least. It definitely felt awkward.
She couldn’t tell if it was part of Lyra’s highlight that was just out of place, but there was a single white hair barely noticeable in her mane. Was it a gray hair? Did that mean she had a gray hair?!
Lyra, completely oblivious to the look she was receiving, gazed around at all the other tables. “Smells like strawberries...” she muttered and then snorted. “Mind if I sit here?” she asked and that’s when Roseluck noticed her horn never actually stopped glowing. Lyra had a rolled-up newspaper and a soft drink with her as well.
“Sure...?”
“Thanks,” Lyra said and slipped into the seat opposite her. “Sorry, I haven’t been to this café before. It opened up like what, six days ago?”
“Yeah...” Roseluck trailed off, trying her best to keep herself distracted. “I came here yesterday and it’s, uh... not all that popular, I guess.”
“It’s new. Give it time,” Lyra said with a chuckle and then took a long sip from her drink. “Suppose that’s what it gets for being in a town with, like, three of them already,” she added, and with that she unfolded the newspaper and started to read it.
Roseluck sighed and scanned around the café. Outside, here where all the tables were, there were only two other ponies besides Lyra and herself, and she was happy that she could refrain herself from gawking in their direction. But that left a whole lot of tables unfilled and if she recalled correctly, there weren’t any inside the small building itself. Considering it was the lunch hour right now, business was undoubtedly poor. That left her wondering how the place hadn’t gone under yet, or if and when it would.
She eventually wandered back to the cup of coffee in front of her and she made a face at it. Somehow it hadn’t cooled down yet, but now she noticed it smelled like kerosene and its texture was starting to look like tar. She pushed it away even farther.
Then something dawned on her. She knew by now that, whatever this thing was that was happening, there was no obvious, immediate answer for it. So what was she still doing here, surrounded by questions she barely even understood? Lily had dragged her out here but now there was no point in sticking around. The idea of going back home and sleeping this whole thing off started to sound very appealing.
“What?” said Lyra, the newspaper crinkling in her magic aura as she lifted it closer to her eyes. After a second of further reading she dropped the paper onto the table and threw a hoof at it. “I don’t believe this!”
Roseluck remained silent, debating whether either get up and leave now or first watch this scene unfold before her.
“Stupid Gazette,” Lyra grumbled. She shot Roseluck a look and cried, “They didn’t put my column in! Can you believe it?”
“I... uh, didn’t know you worked for the newspaper.”
“I don’t,” Lyra harrumphed and crossed her forelegs. “But I was interviewed for my work and I was actually looking forward to reading it. But no, apparently they rejected that without even telling me and decided to instead input somepony else’s story. It’s not fair.”
There was a pause. “...I’m sorry?”
Lyra bit her lip and then rested her head in her hooves. “No, it’s not your fault. I don’t mean to drag you into this. It’s just that... ugh, I hope my partner doesn’t overreact too much. That last thing I need is for her to... Oh look, here she comes now.”
Roseluck followed her deadpan gaze out into the street, where a purplish blur was running up to meet them. She squinted her eyes to get a better look, but almost immediately they flew open to the size of dinner plates when she realized who it was or rather, more accurately, who she looked like.
Amethyst Star hopped over the small metal fence before coming to a stop right in front of their table. “Lyra!” she yelled in an obviously aggravated tone. Other ponies within earshot turned to them, curious and perhaps a little worried as well. Roseluck just threw her forelegs over her head and bent over the table, giving the impression she was embarrassed, but she just really wanted to not see what was in front of her.
Amethyst Star tossed a newspaper of her own into Lyra’s face. “Look what they did! Our article isn’t in here at all. We didn’t even get mentioned!”
Lyra swatted the paper away. “Yeah, I know,” she glowered. “Just sit down, will you? You’re attracting a crowd.”
Amethyst Star slid into a seat beside her with a little more force than necessary. “I just can’t believe this. Do you know why it wasn’t put in?”
“No, I don’t,” Lyra grumbled. “Everything was done on time and according to their exact specifications. There’s no reason it shouldn’t be there.”
“This is stupid,” Amethyst Star summarized with a pout. She reopened her copy of the Ponyville Gazette and scrutinized it as if expecting the whole thing to change just by glaring at it. Lyra sighed and took another long sip from her drink.
Roseluck peeked up at them, more specifically the newcomer. Her cutie mark was three brilliant-cut diamonds and her fur coat was a light shade of magenta. But her mane and eyes were stunning shades of violet, with a lighter purple highlight running along over her ear. But the most startling part was that color aside, she looked just like Lyra and therefore herself. And of course she still had her horn too. What’s more is that hers and Lyra’s voices sounded incredibly similar. That was just one more tally to add to today’s events.
Now that she thought about, she should’ve left earlier.
Roseluck couldn’t help but search over her mane for a gray hair.
That’s when she noticed her staring. “Can I help you?” Amethyst Star asked, glancing up from her paper.
“Don’t be rude,” Lyra interjected. “She was here first after all.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t want her eavesdropping on us or anything. Nopony knows about our project and I’d like to keep it that way.”
Roseluck blinked. “If you wanted to keep whatever it is you’re doing a secret, why were you going to put it in the paper?”
She got two blank stares in return.
“That is a good point...”
“I still don’t want anypony to know,” Amethyst Star said. “For now, at least. Not until it’s completely done.”
“Hey, we can use this opportunity to make doubly sure it’s perfect before the big reveal,” Lyra said. “Proof everything again for errors and the like.”
“And if they still don’t add our segment we can go to the editors ourselves! They’ll understand that they were wrong and we were right all along eventually.”
Roseluck sighed and it took more effort than she thought it would to stand up. “I’ll leave you two alone,” she said. “I was about to leave anyway. I’m not exactly feeling myself right now.”
“I hope you get better,” Lyra chirped.
Amethyst Star nodded in agreement. “Yeah. Sorry if I was a little hard on you.”
“It’s fine,” she told them and then paused. She shook her head and just to assure herself she wasn’t crazy, forced herself to ask, “This might sound like a weird question, but are you two sisters?”
The two ponies glanced between themselves and her.
“I think we’d know if we were,” Lyra answered.
“Heh, sorry,” Roseluck said, trying to hide her nervous blush. “You two just kinda remind me of each other.”
“Yeah, I don’t see it.” Amethyst Star shrugged. “Wait, don’t you want your coffee?” The drink quickly got enveloped in a deep magenta aura and floated up to her.
She pushed it back. “You can have it,” she said with a false smile. “I need to get some rest anyway.”
“Hey, thanks!” Amethyst Star chirped.
Roseluck’s legs were a little shaky as she wandered out of the area and down the street, but she kept her balance. She made sure to keep her eyes on the ground in front of her to avoid the uncomfortable presence all around her. She just had to keep walking and she’d get home in one piece. Then she’d pass out on the floor and wake up and everything would go back to normal. That’s how it always worked. She was still normal.
Lyra and Amethyst Star watched her go until she was out of sight.
“That was nice of her,” Lyra commented.
Amethyst Star raised the drink to her lips. “I’ll say,” she said and took a tiny sip. She almost lost fell out of her seat as she recoiled. It felt like her tongue was about to leap out of her mouth and her eyes were going to explode. “That is strong!” she stated in bewilderment.
Lyra snickered. “You know what they say about earth ponies and their coffee.”
Amethyst Star took another, much more cautious sip. “Strong and able to keep on bucking?”
There was a pause. “Yeah, sure. Let’s go with that.”
Written by, RazgrizS57
Special Thanks: RedSquirrel456
Author's Note
The following vectors were used for the cover art: Roseluck, Amethyst Star, and Lyra.
Extra special thanks to Belligerent Sock and alexmagnet for their help in knocking out the kinks in the story description.
