Mary-Sueminators 2: Axe-ment day

by The Psychopath

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1742

The Mary-Sue terminators must kill yet another abomination to canon everywhere

Celestia and Luna have been waiting patiently with Twilight, as their mother is expected to return to Equestria after her trip through dimensions, teaching everyone the true values of friendship and magic, as well as destroying countless evil deities in her path. Yet, even after all that she--

*throws hat on the floor* "OH COME ON! Another one?!" *collapses on the ground*"CURSE YOU, TWELVE YEAR OLD WRITERS!"

"Where did yo-Why were you even wearing a hat?"

"I...don't know."

Published 2013-07-12 21:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-12 21:40:03 UTC

The axe men cometh

Celestia and Luna paced back and forth in the throne room as its light illuminated the golden tapestries plastered against the white walls. The two thrones of Luna and Celestia sat quietly in the middle of the room, both representing who they belonged to by obvious colorings and symbolizations. Only Twilight's wasn't there as she had her own castle further away from Canterlot. The now-alicorn stared at the two sisters with annoyance and worry at the same time.

"Princesses. I really think you should calm down." Twilight suggested.

"It's not that simple. We don't know how she's like or what she looks like. We only know so much of her from Discord, and even that's saying something." Celestia mocked with an eye roll.

"Discord? How would he know anything about her if you yourself know nothing?"

"Because, Twilight Sparkle, he lived long before us. Do not forget that he was terrorizing all of Equestria before we arrived." Luna added.

"...True, but, then again, how come she never stayed with you?"

"She had many important duties to tend to. We were taking up too much of her time."

Meanwhile, in the secret cave of the Mary-Sueminators!

"Remind to get rid of that Batman announcer thing."

"Eh."

The terminators come from other fanics based on the movie serie with the same name. They existed in a pocket dimension with top-grade technology meant to detect mary-sues and to terminate them, no matter the fiction. In the interception room, however, the terminators detected yet another mary-sue. The counters which they integrated their scanning technology in had found a young writer typing such shit into his computer that atleast three alarms went off.

"What is it this time?" a rather bulky terminator asked as it stood behind its comrade working on the machines.

"Look at this. The mother of Celestia and Luna."

"I thought they were dead."

"Apparently not in this story."

"So? That could make for a great story if executed correctly."

"Yyyyyeaaaah..."

On one of the screens integrated into the counter came an image showing Twilight learning about how the "mother" viewed her children.

"Ooookaaayyy. Maybe it's a bad mother who is going to learn about how to be a true mother?" the terminator fumbled nervously.

"Yeah? Check this section out."

The terminator pressed a few buttons and the image on the screen changed.

After a few minutes of discussions, the doors of the throne room opened and a powerfully bright light shone through, dawrfing even those coming from the stained windows behind the thrones. Through it walked an alicorn with a flowing rainbow mane and tail and a coat of varying, light colors. They were so light, in fact, that it was hard to tell if she was just white or not. Here eyes were purple, however, although this changed little to the outlandish appearance she held.

"MOTHER!" the two sisters shouted as they charged towards her.

It made Twilight wince, although even Celestia was smaller than this alicorn.

"You must be their mother." Twilight said as she bowed.

"Yes, and you must be Twilight Sparkle, the new alicorn."

"I...am. How did you know?"

"I know everything. After all, I created everything."

"You did what?"

"Yes."

"You created Equestria?"

"No. I mean that I created everything that exists here. I never saw my daughters before because I had many uties to attend to in other dimensions."

"You did."

"Yes."

"But--"

"I know it's hard to understand, but that is how it is."

"What is your name, if I can ask."

"Cosmos."

"I know I shouldn't be asking these questions, but I'm so excited. How old are you?"

"Do you know the age of the universe?"

"Yes."

"I existed before that."

"Wooooooow." the three alicorns gasped in wonder and amazement.

In the scanning room, behind the two terminators working at the console, lay several terminators who stopped by to see what was going on. They were lying down on the floor, smoking, with their eyes melted out. The standing terminator near the console simply rubbed his chin and hummed.

"I've seen enough of this shit."

"Loud speaker?" spoke the one working at the console.

"LOUD-SPEAKER!"

"OKAY!"

The worker gave a phone to the stander who snatched it and began to yell in it:

"PEPOLE! WE'VE GOT A MARY SUE ON OUR GUT DISEMBOWLING AND HUMAN CRUSHING HANDS! GET READY! WE LEAVE IN FIVE MINUTES!"

The stander slammed the phone back down onto its holder and readied to leave when he heard:

"What about dinner?"

"We're robots. We don't eat. Stop watching Flushed. It's messing with your mind." the standing terminator lashed.

"Okay."

The terminator who said that soon died after trying to eat a box of ice cream while crying.

"-Yes. In fact, my daughters, your father is Discord."

"WHAT?!" the three shouted in horror.

"But that's impossible!" the three alicorns yelled in horror as they looked at the hoity alicorn.

"OF COURSE IT'S IMPOSSIBLE! GOOD GRIEF! Frikkin' Mary-Sues."

"Who said that?" Twilight wondered aloud.

The purple alicorn turned to face the source of the sound to discover that it was several thousands of metallic bipeds with red glowing eyes and holding strange things in their hands.

"That's the Mary-Sue? It's ugly."

"AH! I'm appalled at such an attitude. You shouldn't talk of other ponies like that, especially such as me who age tremendously well." Cosmos put a hoof to her chest in horror."Now I must ask you to leave at o--"

A loud explosion followed by millions of bullets and grenades blew the alicorn dozens of feet away from her spot...and a large portion of the castle as well.

"What's--"

Celestia and the other two alicorns were grabbed from behind and put to sleep. Unfortunately, instead and being dragged somewhere safe, they were tossed into a pile. Efficiency is a great concern that shouldn't be ignored. The rest of the terminators hopped out of the immense hole they created in the castle and onto the ground, creating thump after thump after thump.

Cosmos had created an immensely long skid mark after landing, and only the sun showed the direction that the incoming shiny creatures were coming from.

Back at the base, during an unnecessary scene changing, one of the terminators entered the scanning room and saw all the smoking bodies on the ground. It scratched its head, stared a moment, then slowly backed out of the room.

"I'm not cleaning that." it thought casually.

"Heh. You think you can kill the one who created everything?" Cosmos chuckled as she rose

"Watch out! She's mary-sueing!"

"That's not even a word."

"Fuck you!"

"Swearing won't help your cause."

The alicorn rose high into the air and, with but a thought, carved an immense hole through the ground with a beam of cosmic energy. Several terminators were caught in the path and promptly destroyed while others just gave up and left. They were tired of such eccentricities all the time. Yes. They can do that.

However, as soon as she turned, Cosmos was punched back towards the planet by terminators wearing immense metal gauntlets and boots. They then landed on her, broke off her horn, then a few came back to bash chairs and pots over her head. The rest arrived soon enough and started to pummel her as well. It was then that she blasted them all away before rising into the air and surrounding herself with a monster of pure cosmic energy. It had the same color consistency as Cosmos' coat, although it was bipedal and non-equine.

"What?" said a terminator before being squashed by a foot of the colossus.

"Crap. Fall back!"

"THE SHINY! IT BURRRRRRRRRRRRNS!" a terminator yelled before melting.

"The suethor is startin to affect us. We have to stop it." one of the terminators shouted from behind a rock as the others fired at the colossus.

Three others came running with a tremendously immense cannon. It was the size of a battleship. It was unknown how they were carrying it, so they answered it themselves:

"What? The suethor is starting to affect us. Might as well use that to our advantage."

The cannon charged its energies, then erupted in a blast so powerful that it not only engulfed the colossus, but completely obliterated an entire mountain range on the horizon. Once the blast was over, Cosmos fell to the ground, moaning.

"SHE'S DOWN! KILL IT!"

An immense dogpile formed over Cosmos as the deed was being executed. One of the gigantic Mary-Sueminators came running with a piece of Canterlot's tower and slammed it onto the alicorn, but not until most of the others fleed in terror. Needless to say, she had rocks, explosives, bullets, feet, and other terminators thrown at her.

"It's finally done." one of the robots said with a sense of satisfaction.

Meanwhile, in a child's room:

"What? How was this even typed?"

His door was suddenly thrown open as a terminator pointed towards the boy.

"THAT'S HIM!"

"FUCK HIM UP!"

"TERMINATORS?! AHHHH!"

The boy was punched, kicked, thrown against a wall, and forced to eat his broccoli before being tied up. Two of the terminators held him up by the duct tape he was wrapped up in, conviction firmly placed on their faces. The one standing in front of them held up a very long and huge stick and extended it towards the holders.

"Go into the closet and do it."

The holders chuckled and executed the order while the boy struggled and screamed, although his screams were muzzled by the sock in his mouth.

"And another has been taken care of."

"Yes, but, I think that we will never see the end of this spree."

"I know. I know."

"HEY!" a terminator shouted the second he jumped through the floor and remained stuck.

"What were you doing downstairs."

"Killing the writer's parents so they can never reproduce again." the terminator smiled in pride.

The others just stared at him with the best impression of "wide eyes" they could.

"That was actually a great idea. Nice job!" the first terminator said with glee while the others agreed.

"I've got news, though. There's a girl shipping Fluttershy and Discord and another shipping Twilight and Luna."

"Why are you telling us two different ones?"

"They're both in the same apartment."

"...Let's pummel their asses and throw them out of the windows." the first terminator clenched its fist.

"ALRIGHT!"