Angel

by Sage Runner

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Angel, Fluttershy, Adventure, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 31629

When Fluttershy went to bed last night, the last thing she expected was to wake up and find that her faithful, if not obnoxious pet rabbit would be replaced by a grown stallion in a bunny suit. Inspired by the television series Wilfred.

When Fluttershy went to bed last night, the last thing she expected was to wake up and find that her faithful, if not obnoxious pet rabbit would be replaced by a grown stallion in a bunny suit that everyone else still saw as a rabbit. Now Angel, with his inelegant words of wisdom, brutal honesty, and confrontational nature, is free to speak his mind and help his master overcome her phobias and life's general hardships, all while trying to learn more about his own unusual nature. Inspired by the television series Wilfred.

Rated Teen for language.

This page used as a reference tool for episode-accurate dialogue.

Published 2013-07-13 01:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-01 22:03:19 UTC

Dragonshy

"Not too fast, Angel Bunny!" Fluttershy said cheerfully as Angel nibbled on his carrot.  "You don't want to get a tummy ache!"

"Yes, thank you, mum," Angel replied, rolling his eyes. "I'm fairly certain I know how to eat a carrot.  I am a rabbit, after all, and despite my people's contributions to the eco system, eating carrots is what we're best known for."  He took another, deliberately small bite, examined the remainder, and tossed the carrot aside, shrugging his shoulders.

"You really should eat more than that, don't you think?" Fluttershy asked.  "You drank an awful lot of liquor last night."

"Crickey, woman, I had six beers.  Didn't even get buzzed," Angel replied exasperatedly as he began to awkwardly hop away on his hind legs.

"It's not play time yet!" Fluttershy said urgently.

"Listen, mum," Angel sighed.  "I don't have much to look forward to in life.  I've accepted that my people will never be able to vote.  I'll never own my own land.  I'll never be able to run for public office.  I can't even establish any sort of meaningful relationship because all the female bunnies in this town are obsessed with increasing their ranks as quickly as possible.  There's only one thing I get to do each and every day, and that's running."

"I know you want to run," Fluttershy replied sympathetically.  "But... just three more bites?"

"That's three more bites than I want to take."

"Two more bites?"

"That falls within the aforementioned undesirable three bites."

"One more bite?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"Fine!  If it's really that important to you, I'll take the final bite, since it's apparently the key to my survival," at this point, he began to cough.  "Bloody hell, what is up with this air?" he muttered to himself, looking around.  His eyes widened as he pinpointed the source of his cough.

"Oh, goodness, are you okay?" Fluttershy asked him.

"For the moment, but I think we have a problem, mum," Angel replied, gesturing a hoof towards a large trail of smoke emerging from a distant mountain top.

"That giant cloud of scary black smoke?" she asked, a worried look appearing on her face.

"We should probably warn the town," Angel replied.  "Well, you should probably warn the town, because we both know nobody will listen to me."

...

Angel sighed exasperatedly as he watched his master's unsuccessful attempts to get the attention of the townspeople and warn them about the mysterious smoke hanging overhead.

"It's just that there's smoke, and where there's smoke there's fire..." Fluttershy's mumbling fell on deaf ears.

"Okay, stop," Angel commanded.

"Oh dear, did I do something wrong?"

"It's what you're not doing," Angel replied.  "You have to be more aggressive here."

"Oh, but... everypony already looks so busy..."

"Stop inventing reasons not to make your voice heard!" Angel said loudly, causing Fluttershy to jump.  "Let's say they are busy, let's say that at this moment, each and every one of them is doing the most important thing they will ever do.  Do you really think they'd mind being interrupted by you more than they would mind being interrupted by fire?  And dying?"

"Oh, well no, but... we don't even know for sure there is a fire..."

"Look at the sky!" Angel shouted, gesturing a hoof towards the gathering smoke.  "I think we can safely assume that's more likely a fire than nothing."

"So... what should I do?"

"Yell at them like our lives depend on it!  Make them acknowledge you and our problem!  Shout it from the mountain tops!  Figuratively, of course, you're gonna want to shout it from here, perhaps closer to them, 'cause you're kind of far away."

"I'll... try..." Fluttershy replied timidly.  She inhaled loudly, as though preparing to shout.

"Listen up!" a voice shouted in the distance.  "Smoke is spreading all over Equestria!"  It was Twilight Sparkle, drawing the attention of everyone nearby.

"That purple bitch just stole your thunder!" Angel shouted.  "Alright, we can fix this, I'll grab hold of her legs, you tackle her."

"Angel, no!" Fluttershy replied sternly.  "And please watch your language!"

"But don't worry, I've just received a letter from Princess Celestia informing me that it is not coming from a fire," Twilight continued.

"Bullshit!" Angel protested, causing Fluttershy to glare at him.  "What else could possibly be generating that amount of smoke?  Mum, call her a liar, quick!"

"Hush."

"It's coming from a dragon," Twilight declared.

"...Okay that's much worse," said Angel.

...

"I really don't see why you're so upset," Angel said as Fluttershy galloped around her cottage, grabbing every scrap of protective gear she could find.  "You and your friends get to handle this dragon problem, that's totally badass!  Plus, I'll finally get to meet a dragon that doesn't wear aprons!"

"No, this is terrible," Fluttershy said, fishing a football helmet out of an old box she had pulled down from her attic.

"First of all, why do you even have that?" Angel asked.  "Secondly, this pseudo armor of yours doesn't look fireproof or giant-razor-sharp-teeth proof."

"Do you have a better idea?" Fluttershy asked hopefully.

"As a matter of fact, I do.  When we confront this winged leviathan, you'll use your calming voice to lull it into a false sense of security, at which point I will grab a large rock and bash its head in."

"What!?" Fluttershy gasped.  "We're not going to hurt it, we're just going to reason with it!"

"See, that kind of thinking right there, that's the reason the Princess should have put me in charge of this operation," Angel said.  "First of all, everyone knows that you don't reason with an unruly dragon, you kill it.  Secondly, have you ever met a reasonable dragon?"

"Spike is the only dragon I've ever met, and he's perfectly reasonable," Fluttershy replied indignantly.

"Spike was raised in captivity, domesticated, and his backbone has the consistency of my floppy rabbit ears," Angel replied, raising an eyebrow.  "And you already said 'no' to using my you-distract-I-bash idea on him, so you owe me this!"

"We're not hurting anything.  End of story."

"Fine then, I guess if we absolutely have to reason with this thing, you'll be our best bet for doing it."

"I... don't think I'm going..." Fluttershy replied meekly.

"What's that now?" Angel asked quickly, as though he didn't comprehend her words.

"I... don't think... I'm going..." her voice trailed off into a quiet whisper.

"Sure, fine," Angel replied.  "Just go ahead and confirm everyone's preconceived notions that you're weak and helpless."

"I am weak and helpless."

"Look," Angel replied, sighing deeply, "If you really were weak and helpless, you know I'd be the first one to tell you.  Pointing out other people's shortcomings is practically my hobby, my own exceptional nature rendering me a fair and impartial judge of others," he continued, pacing back and forth in front of her as she rolled her eyes.  "But, I know you.  I know the real you.  You're stronger than you realize, and I want everyone to see that.  More importantly, I want you to see it."

"Angel, I..."

"So get out there, and chase off that dragon!"

"But I'm-"

"Scared of dragons, I know.  Believe me, I know.  But facing your fear is the surest way to overcome it, and I'll be right by your side the entire time."

"Well..." Fluttershy wavered, and Angel placed a reassuring hoof on her shoulder.  "Alright, let's do it!  But what if the others say I can't bring you along?"

"They won't even know I'm there."

...

"I'm not sure how they're not seeing you," Fluttershy said, glancing over at Angel.  As the six ponies made their way towards the base of the mountain, not one of them had yet noticed the stallion-sized rabbit trotting alongside Fluttershy, his front left hoof tucked in her saddlebag.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, perplexed.  "I'm hiding in your bag.  How would they see me?"

"But you're... nevermind," she sighed.

...

"A hop, skip, and a jump..." Pinkie Pie sang as she continued to sail back and fourth over the gap that Fluttershy alone was having difficulty crossing.

"Normally," Angel whispered, "I don't condone taking the advice of an obvious psycho, but if you don't cross that gap, we're going to be left behind."

...

"I'm scared of dragons!" Fluttershy shouted, as the dragon snored another cloud of smoke.

"But Fluttershy," Twilight protested, "you have a wonderful talent dealing with all sorts of animals!"

"Animals that aren't dragons," Angel replied, falling on deaf ears.

"We've seen you walk right up to a horrible manticore like it was nothing!" Rainbow Dash shouted.

"Do these people not understand what a dragon is?" Angel asked rhetorically in disbelief.

"Spike's a dragon, and you're not scared of him!" Pinkie pointed out.

"Oh come on, that's not even fair," Angel said, laughing. "Nobody's scared of Spike!"

"If you're so afraid of dragons, why didn't you say something before we came all the way up here?" Twilight asked.

"Angel said-" Fluttershy began, before Angel cut her off.

"Do you want to look scared and crazy?" he asked.  "They already think you caused that avalanche on purpose.  I mean, they could think that."

"I mean... I was afraid to..." she corrected herself.

"I'm sure they're all scared of that dragon," Angel said to her as the others continued to speak.  "I mean, I'm not, because let's face it, I'm small and quick, and on a bad day I could still outrun the purple one," Fluttershy raised an eyebrow as she pretended to listen to the others.  "But this is the moment I was telling you about.  The moment where you conquer your fears and show everyone that you're the alpha-mare of this rag-tag friendship-wielding task force!"

"I... I just... can't..." Fluttershy lowered her head and walked away.

...

"Still don't get why we're hiding behind this rock," Angel said as Fluttershy cowered at the base of the boulder.  "Why don't we just go back down the mountain if you're so adamant about wussing out?"

"What if that dragon comes out and sees me?" Fluttershy replied.

"Then you just stand perfectly still, their vision is based on movement."

"...I don't think that's true."

"Trust me, I saw it in a movie once."  Suddenly there was an earth-shaking roar, followed by a loud crash, and the makeshift shelter came tumbling down.  Fluttershy peered over the rubble to see her friends lying on the ground, appearing to be dazed and in pain, as the gargantuan beast lumbered towards them.

"Well, good for him," Angel said nonchalantly.  "Survival of the fittest and all that, hope he enjoys his meal."

"How can you say that!?" Fluttershy asked in horror.

"Well what did you think was gonna happen if they tried to use force?  Which, by the way, they had to do because you wouldn't go in the cave.  Look at that thing, he has huge teeth, sharp scales, snores smoke, and breathes fire, this was only ever gonna end one way.  That's nature, mum, now let's head back to the cottage and crack open some brews.  We can put out the want ads for new friends tomorrow!"

"How dare you," Fluttershy said angrily.

"Don't say that to me!" Angel said with a sudden force of will as he leaned in and stared intently into her eyes, "Say that to him!"

Fluttershy turned her head towards the dragon, a fire flaring up in her eyes that had never burned before, "HOW DARE YOU!" she shouted, as she began to fly upward towards the dragon.  Angel smiled softly as he watched Fluttershy lay out a verbal smackdown that would have, by his own admission, made him "piss his nonexistant pants".

...

"Well," Angel said as he collapsed on the couch and popped off a beer bottle cap with his buck teeth, "we didn't get to slay a dragon, but I have to admit, watching it fly away with its tail between its legs was bloody entertaining."

"I... I really didn't know I had it in me," Fluttershy said meekly as she took a seat next to him.

"I did.  Damn shame no one ever listens to me."

"Thanks.  For helping me see it," Fluttershy said.

"You're welcome, mum," Angel replied.  He grabbed a second beer out of the cooler he hid in the hole in the wall and passed it to Fluttershy.

"No thank you, I don't drink," she said.

"You just talked a dragon out of its home and wealth, you're having a beer," Angel said sternly.

"I... oh, alright," she sighed as she accepted the gift.  She took a sip, and grimaced.  "It's bitter," she said.

"Acquired taste, you'll get used to it."

"I'll be honest, I was kind of freaking out when this," she gestured her hoof back and forth between them, "us, started happening.  But... aside from being able to talk now, you're pretty much the same as you've always been."

"I've always been able to talk, mum, and you've always been able to understand me.  It's just that now you can listen."

"And it's nice to have someone looking out for me."

"Likewise," Angel replied with a smile, as they clicked their bottles against one another.

Stare Master

"Gotta admit," Angel said as he and Fluttershy trotted towards the Carousel Boutique, a caged and freshly groomed cat in tow, "every once in a while you still manage to surprise me."

"Oh?  How do you mean?" Fluttershy asked.

"That cat likes nobody, and attacks anything that even looks at it funny, or at all, and yet here you're able to get the thing groomed and in its cage twice without getting so much as a scratch."

"That's silly, I'm sure she likes Rarity just fine."

"She doesn't!" Angel corrected her.  "Believe me, I know."

"You can communicate with her?"

"What?  It's a cat, mum, don't be ridiculous, you can't talk to cats," Angel replied, rolling his eyes.  "But this cat in particular, well, I recognize a kindred spirit when I see one.  It's a lone wolf, just like me."

"A lone wolf?"

"Aye, don't need anyone or anything but the sun on my face, the wind at my back, and... you providing me with three square meals a day..." he spoke that last part much more softly and quickly that the rest of his statement.

"A lone wolf indeed," Fluttershy giggled.

"But you still manage to breech that terrifying exterior of hatred and isolation and groomed the shit out of that cat."

"Angel, language," Fluttershy said sternly.

"Right, sorry," Angel sighed.  "My point is, you have a gift."

"I know," Fluttershy smiled, "and thank you."

"Yeah, well, just don't think about trying to have me groomed," Angel replied, blushing.  "I'll drop the first bloke that comes near me with so much as a disposable comb."  As they reached the door to Rarity's workshop, Fluttershy rang the bell.

"OH, WHAT NOW!" a shrill voice replied.

"Oh, sorry. I thought the "open" sign meant you were open, but I must have been mistaken," Fluttershy replied timidly as she entered the room.

"It does mean 'open'," Angel said angrily as Rarity extended her apologies for snapping.  "You don't need to apologize for reading, and for the record I'm miffed that that's the second time I've had to tell you that today."

"I can't get near her without getting a swipe from her claws," Rarity remarked as the cat sauntered out of her cage, immediately confirming Rarity's statements by swiping at her.

"Look mate," Angel said to Opal, "I'm down with the whole badass loner routine, but that is the thing that feeds you.  I mean, I can pull it off because I'm a survivor, but if you get yourself kicked out into the wild, you wouldn't last five minutes."  Opal grunted indignantly.

"Did you use... the stare on her?" Rarity asked cryptically.

"The what?" Angel asked his master.

"I don't really have any control over when that happens. It just happens," Fluttershy replied.   "No, I'm just good with animals. It's my special gift, you know?"

"Tell me more about this stare."

"Later!" Fluttershy hissed.

"Fair enough," Angel replied.  "Listen, I'm gonna head down to the pub for a few drinks, I'll catch up with ya later."  As he trotted out of the shop, a yellow flash and an orange flash whizzed past him, forcing him to leap to the side.

"HI ANGEL!" Scootaloo and Applebloom shouted in unison as they bolted into the shop.

"Bloody hell, what are they so excited about?" Angel asked.  "Ah well, it's not my problem.  I feel sorry for whatever twit has to look after all three of them at the same time."  As he said that, a chill ran down his spine.  Animals are always the first to know...

...

"WHAT!?" Angel shouted in disbelief and anger.

"It's just for one night," Fluttershy said.  "We can look after them for one night with no problem!"

"A sleepover, at our house!" Angel replied in disbelief.  "What was going through your head!?"

"Well it's not like I had a problem with Opal.  I'm good with all sorts of small creatures."

"Animals, yes," Angel replied.  "Things that act on instinct, follow a routine, and can be programmed to be obedient.  Children are not the same thing!"

"But I've seen you get along with those three before just fine," Fluttershy replied.

"Yes," Angel replied.  "I like when they pet me and feed me treats, I also like the fact that when I'm tired of their company I can leave before they get bored and start trying to dress me up as a fireman or some such shit.  Kids only work in small doses, bottom line."

"I still don't see what the big difference is," Fluttershy replied.

"Kids are far less predictable for starters, I mean look," Angel pointed a hoof towards the well that the Cutie Mark Crusaders were climbing all over.  "They're playing on a well.  Who does that? Do you have any idea how many loaves I've pinched around that thing?"

"...What?" Fluttershy asked flatly.

"Okay, probably not the best time to confess to that, I admit," Angel replied, his eyes shifting nervously, "but we have a bigger problem on our hands.  We need to herd those sugar-filled little wrecking balls back to the dress lady's overly-indulgent carnival ride house, and we need to do it before Happy Hour."

"They're staying with us for the night," Fluttershy said sternly.

"I guarantee you," Angel said, more calmly, "if you do this, they will give you trouble.  You are not prepared."

"Aren't you the one who's always saying I'm stronger than I realize?" Fluttershy said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, and you are," Angel explained, "but you've never looked after a child before, you're inexperienced, and the worst part is that you're not taking it seriously.  If you really think it'll be the same as taking care of a wounded bunny or a mouse with agoraphobia, you're in for a shattering disillusionment.  Always know your limits, and always prepare for the worst."

"Oh, you're just overreacting.  Trust me, everything will be fine," Fluttershy said confidently.

...

"Everything will be fine," Angel said, mimicking Fluttershy's earlier words.  "They've only broken our entire livingroom!"

"You're exaggerating," Fluttershy sighed.  "Besides, I put them to bed, and everything's fine now.  I'll admit, they were a bigger handful than I thought they'd be, but the hard part's over!"

"By the way," Angel said, changing the subject, "that look you gave those chickens to get them back in the coop, was that the 'stare'?"

"Mhm!" Fluttershy nodded enthusiastically.  "It's something I can do sometimes to make an unruly animal behave.  I don't know how it happens, it just comes naturally when I need it."

"That's actually pretty cool," Angel said as he took a seat on the couch next to his master.  "It's like... instant psychological warfare.  Do you think it could work on ponies, too?  You and I could really go places in this world if it does."

"It doesn't work on ponies," Fluttershy laughed, rolling her eyes.

"Damn."

"It sure is quiet up there," Fluttershy remarked.

"Let's analyze that for a moment," Angel said, standing on his hind legs, folding his front hooves behind his back, and pacing authoritatively back and forth in front of the couch.  "The little fillies who could not complete the simple act of going to sleep without waking the entirety of your poultry stash are suddenly not making a sound."

"Eek, you're right!" Fluttershy gasped as she flew to her upstairs bedroom.  "Girls?  Girls!" she shouted in dismay at the empty room.

"Window's open," Angel casually pointed out, joining her in the bedroom.

"Elizabeak!  She's missing!" Fluttershy gasped as she noticed the tracks leading away from the chicken coop.

"Judging by the hoof prints, I'd say they went after your missing bird," Angel said, examining the tracks.  "Right into... fantastic, the Everfree Forest."

"We..." Fluttershy gulped nervously, her legs beginning to shake, "we need to go after them."

"Why?" Angel asked.  "It's not like you go running after your animals when they go into the forest."

"That's completely different, animals can survive in there, but the girls are just..." the realization dawning on her, "children.  Oh, Angel, you were right, I really didn't take this seriously enough.  Why didn't I listen to you from the start?"

"I ask myself that same question every time we get into scrapes like this, mum," Angel replied flatly.

...

"Is that Twilight?" Fluttershy asked as a figure became visible through the fog.

"Looks like it," Angel replied.  "Didn't you tell me she was heading over to that Zebra's place for tea or something?"

"Thank goodness you're here," Fluttershy cheered as she ran to meet her friend.  "The girls are missing, and-" she stopped short as both she and Angel realized that Twilight Sparkle had been turned to stone.

"Well, this is new," Angel commented, circling the stone unicorn.

"If she's been turned to stone, then that means... oh no!"  Fluttershy broke into a gallop.

"What?  It means what?" Angel shouted as he chased after her.  "Explanations as to why our friend turned to stone should not be left ambiguous!"

"It means there's a Cockatrice on the loose, and we need to find the girls before it does!"

"Okay yeah that's a priority then!" Angel replied.

...

"Whelp," Angel said as the Cockatrice closed in on Fluttershy, Sweetie Bell, Applebloom, Scootaloo, and himself, "our ass is grass.  Er, stone.  We're gonna die, is the basic point I'm trying to make here."

"Behind me, NOW!" Fluttershy shouted authoritatively.

"Why?  What are you planning?" Angel asked as he took his spot behind her with the three girls.  What happened next was all too familiar to Angel as he watched his master berate the evil magical creature before them.  But there was something different this time, because when she leered down at the thing, it buckled, and submitted.  It even turned both Twilight and the chicken back to normal upon her command.  "She's one scary lady when she needs to be," Angel thought to himself in awe.

...

The next morning, as Rarity left with the girls in tow, Angel and Fluttershy collapsed on the couch for a well-deserved rest.  Once again, he pulled two beers from the ice chest hidden in the wall, and passed one over to his master.

"It's a little early for that, don't you think?" Fluttershy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Not when you haven't slept," Angel said.  Fluttershy shrugged and twisted the cap off of her beer.

"So yeah, all in all, not a bad sleepover," Angel grinned, making Fluttershy laugh into her beer.

"Yes, very exciting," she giggled.  "And once again, you were right."

"Nah," Angel corrected her, "for once, I was wrong."

"But I really hadn't taken the responsibility of babysitting all that seriously."

"True, but when the night threw you the worst curveball ever, you handled the whole thing, wire to wire.  Really stepped up, mum, I'm proud."

"Aw, thanks Angel Bunny," she cooed, patting him on the head.

"Yeah, yeah," Angel grumbled, embarrassed.  "But seriously, don't ever let those three in here again.  I rather liked that table they destroyed."

A Bird in the Hoof

Angel barged into the cottage, a look of urgency on his face.  Clearly out of breath and unable to speak, he instead vigorously waved a watch around in the air.

"You... found a watch?" Fluttershy asked, looking at him quizzically.

"No!" Angel shouted.  "Well yes, in someone's pocket when they weren't looking, but that's not the point!"  He panted, making the gestures of the hands of a clock with his arms.

"You... want to be a watch?"

"No..." Angel said, still trying to catch his breath.  "Running..."

"Running?  Running out of time?"

"Late..."

"You're late?"

"You're late!" he wheezed as the clock tower chimed.

"I'm late for a very important date!" Fluttershy shouted.  "The big brunch for Princess Celestia at Sugarcube Corner!"

"Yes, that would be the gist of what I was trying to tell you," Angel sighed, collapsing onto the couch as Fluttershy ran about the room in haste.

"Thanks, Angel!" she shouted as she ran out the door.

"Sure," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"I mean," she added, opening the door again,  "if you hadn't reminded me, I might have not remembered, and then I wouldn't be there, and-"

"MUM!" Angel shouted, cutting her off.  "You're still running late!"

"Oh, right!" she said as she left again.  As the door closed, Angel quickly locked it, mere seconds before Fluttershy tried to open it yet again.

"This is for your own good!" Angel said through the door.

"Oh," she replied, "okay then... see you later..."

"Glad that's over," Angel said to himself, reclaiming his spot on the couch and cracking open a beer.  "That's about all the excitement I'm up for today."  A familiar chill ran down his spine...

...

"Anyone home?" Angel asked, tapping his hoof against the wall repeatedly.  Fixing his gaze upon the hole at the bottom of the wall, he watched a small mouse stick its head out.  "Hey Timmy," Angel said, "is your father around?"  The little mouse nodded and retracted his head into the hole.

Shortly thereafter, a larger mouse with a  bandaged leg rolled out in a tiny wheelchair.  "Hey, Mr. Mousey, how's the leg healing up?"  The mouse squeaked.  "Yeah?  Great, look I'm just gonna cut to the chase.  I know that my mother treated you earlier today, and, hell, I feel awkward even having to bring this up, but a rather large number of pills has gone missing from the medicine cabinet, and you were the only patient mum saw today, so..."

The mouse squeaked in response.  "No, no!" Angel replied quickly.  "I'm not accusing you of anything.  It's just, we both know it couldn't have gotten up and walked away on its own, right?" Angel chuckled insincerely as though he were making small talk with a co-worker.  "And if the culprit were to, say, return them now, there would be no judgment, and no questions asked."  The mouse squeaked again.  "Hey, don't get defensive, alright, that just makes you look guilty."  Another squeak.  "You are not being railroaded by the rabbit justice system." Yet another squeak.  "I took it?  Don't... don't be ridiculous."  Angel's eyes shifted back and forth nervously.  The mouse squeaked again.  "If I'm not admitting I have a problem it's because there's no problem to admit to having!" Angel said with forced laughter as he began to perspire.  Suddenly the cottage door swung open, and Fluttershy walked in.  "Uh," Angel grunted, "I'll let you off with a warning this time!" he said quickly as he wheeled the mouse back into its hole.  "Hey mum, how was the thing?"

"Huh?  Oh, it ended early, and..." Fluttershy said as she reached into her saddlebag and produced a very sick looking bird, "I picked up a new patient."  Angel grimaced as he looked over Fluttershy's newest patient.  Its feathers had all but fallen out, its eyes had bags under them, and it was shaking uncontrollably from head to talon.

"Yikes," Angel said, raising an eyebrow.  "You've got your work cut out for you."

"Oh, you poor little thing," Fluttershy said to the bird.  "How did you ever get in such bad condition? Don't you worry, Philomena, I'll nurse you back to health."

"Philomena, is it?" Angel asked, inspecting the shivering bird.  "Well, you got picked up by the right Pegasus, my mum outclasses the town vet when it comes to... extreme cases..."  Philomena let out a wheezing cough in response.

"I'm sure the Princess will appreciate the help," Fluttershy said.

"The Princess?" Angel asked.  "Is this bird hers?"

"Yes," Fluttershy replied.  "Princess Celestia brought her to the brunch.  When she was suddenly called away, I grabbed Philomena and brought her back here, and not a moment too soon!"

"So she was called away, and her parting words were 'Fluttershy fix my bird'?  Always knew she was an odd duck," Angel replied.

"Oh, she didn't ask me," Fluttershy clarified.

"...come again?"

"Well she's obviously too busy to care for poor Philomena properly, so I decided to do it myself, as a favor to her!"

"You... you're kidding, right?"

"No?"

"So in other words, you stole the pet of our country's ruler."

"Well, it's true that I didn't ask for permission, but I'm sure she'll be grateful once she sees how I've helped her pet," Fluttershy replied nervously.

"Well then," Angel replied, "this is an unfortunate turn of events for all of us."

"What do you mean?"

"There are a lot of animals around here that depend on you," Angel explained, "and they'll be in a right pickle once you've been banished to the moon!"

"Banished?" Fluttershy asked.  "To.. the moon?"

"Well then again," Angel thought aloud, "the moon might just be reserved for family members who upset the Princess.  A commoner like yourself, I dunno, Pluto, maybe?  It's much further away, so I don't expect I'll be able to visit you very often."

"You're overreacting," Fluttershy said with a saddened expression on her face.

"Look, you can't just up and take something that doesn't belong to you because you feel like it," Angel said.  "You're not small, quick, or stealthy enough."  Fluttershy raised an eyebrow.  "And it's wrong too, I suppose," Angel added insincerely.  "Point is, a royal pet is going to be missed a hell of a lot more than a pocket watch, or some measly pills, or the change from your 'Rainy Day' jar atop the fridge."

"I couldn't just leave the poor thing like this.  Look at her!"

"I guess..." Angel replied hesitantly, "knowing you the way I do, I wouldn't have expected you to leave her there.  I still don't approve, but I have an idea.  You focus on tending to the bird, I'll focus on keeping you out of Pluto."  Fluttershy gave Angel a quizzical look as he hopped out of the room.  Philomena coughed again.

"Oh my," Fluttershy said, turning her attention back to her patient, "we'd better get you to bed right away!"

...

"Alright," Angel yawned as he met up with Fluttershy, "it took a little while, but I believe I've created the solution to our problem."

"Oh Angel," Fluttershy said, clearly upset, "I've tried absolutely everything!  Bed rest, medicine, soup, Hummingway,"

"The crap was Hummingway gonna accomplish?" Angel muttered to himself.

"A humidifier," Fluttershy continued down the list, "aromatherapy, a warm bath, ointment, and nothing worked!"

"Cripes, how long was I gone?" Angel asked.

"I just don't know what to do!"

"Right, well, I've solved half of our problem," Angel replied, producing a rolled up piece of paper.

"What's this?" Fluttershy asked, taking it from him.

"Well, I got to thinking, whenever something crazy happens around here, which it has like every week since Twilight moved here," Fluttershy raised an eyebrow.  "Not pointing any fingers, just making an observation. Anyway I noticed that a simple letter to the Princess summing up a life lesson always seems to set everything right, so I figured, why not give that a shot?  Go on, read it!" Angel said, gesturing towards the letter in her hand.

"Well let's see," Fluttershy said, unrolling the letter.  "'Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that if you ever want to see your pet bird again it will cost you five hundred thou-' Angel, we are not ransoming Philomena!"

"It's not just money!" Angel explained.  "The terms also include a pardon for taking the bird in the first place!"

"No."

"Fine then, you come up with a solution if you're so smart," Angel said indignantly.

"I really don't care what happens to me," Fluttershy said sadly, "but poor Philomena...  I have one last idea."

After a few minutes filled with a scalpel, surgical tape, and feathers, Fluttershy's morale was all but gone.  "Oh, Philomena. I thought it would be easy to nurse you back to health. I've tried everything I know, and look at you. You're worse than ever," Fluttershy said sadly.

"It isn't your fault, mum," Angel said sympathetically.  "Some things are just beyond our control."

Fluttershy was about to respond when there was a sudden knock on the door.

...

"If I didn't already blame Twilght Sparkle for all the crazy shit that happens in this town, I certainly do now," Angel said as he ran through the streets of Ponyville.  "At least mum kept the damn thing in one place, then in comes Ms. 'My cutie mark means I know everything!' herself, in all her pill-pushing, plastic cone wielding glory, drives Exhibit A right out of the cottage and into the world! Gotta find that damn bird before someone else does!"  Right as he said this, he caught sight of Philomena... falling from the top of a fountain... and bursting into flames.  As the Princess approached.  "SPARKLE!" he shouted, waving his hooves above his head, his face craned upward towards the sky.

...

"A phoenix is a majestic and magical bird. While it appears healthy and happy most of the time, every so often it must renew itself by shedding all of its feathers and bursting into flame," Princess Celestia explained.  "It then rises from the ashes, fresh as a daisy. All just a normal part of the life cycle of a phoenix. I'm afraid mischievous little Philomena, here, took the occasion to have a little fun with you, Fluttershy. Say you're sorry, young lady."  Philomena chirped apologetically.

"Better sleep with one eye open, you lying son of a bitch!" Angel muttered quietly, masking his relief that everything had turned out alright for his master, who was forgiven and had learned a valuable lesson.

...

"Do you really blame Twilight when things go wrong in Ponyville?" Fluttershy asked as she took another sip of her beer while relaxing on the couch.

"I mean I know she didn't literally cause you to abduct someone's pet," Angel explained, "but, do you know about the Butterfly Effect?"

"I know about butterflies," Fluttershy responded, confused.  "It is my cutie mark, after all."

"No, no, I'm talking about Chaos Theory," Angel clarified, taking a swig of his own beer. "It's the idea that a butterfly flapping its wings will cause a hurricane miles away.  Or something like that, I was only half paying attention when that owl that likes to fly into people's houses explained it to me."

"And you think Twilight is..."

"The flapping butterfly, yes."

"But she doesn't have wings," Fluttershy replied, grinning.

"Not yet she doesn't, but that wouldn't be the weirdest thing I've seen since she moved here."

...

In the private chambers of the Canterlot castle, a mare dressed in a bird suit casually walked over to a rather extravagant couch and practically jumped into her seat.  "Careful, Philomena," Princess Celestia said, "you nearly made me spill my wine."

"Terribly sorry, mother!" Philomena replied apologetically as the Princess magically levitated a chalice into Philomena's feathery hooves.

"Did you enjoy your time in Ponyville?" Celestia asked.

"Very much so," Philomena replied.  "That Fluttershy, she is a very kind soul, and your Twilight Sparkle continues to impress me with her growth, and I don't just mean in magic."

"The friendships she's forged continue to make her into an even stronger pony."

"Fluttershy's pet rabbit, though, he is an uncouth lout.  Means well, to be sure, but also a bit of a shyster.  What's more, judging by the way Fluttershy spoke to him, I suspect he might be like me."

"Oh?" Celestia looked surprised.  "We'll have to keep an eye on him then."

"As you wish, but as I said, it's just a hunch." Philomena replied.

"While I don't approve of you toying with my subjects the way you did, I must admit, it was a rather amusing prank."

"I learned from the best," Philomena smiled as they clinked their glasses together.

The Best Night Ever

"Just us tonight, Mr. Mousey," Angel said as he took another swig of his beer.  The mouse sitting in its tiny wheelchair next to the couch squeaked in response.  "Mum's off at the Grand Galloping something-or-other, was all excited earlier about making a bunch of new animal friends in the Canterlot gardens.  Don't know why she'd want to, everything in Canterlot is stuck up.  Doubt those high-society zoo attractions will even give her the time of day."  The mouse squeaked again.  "Whiskey?  Eh, why not, it's a special occasion, even if we're not actually at the special occasion," Angel replied, standing up and walking towards his liquor cabinet.  Suddenly, the door burst open.  Angel's head spun around as he beheld what appeared to be a mare in a red and orange bird costume.  Before Angel could ask her any questions, a familiar feeling overtook him.

"Philomena!" Angel exclaimed.  "How... how did I know that?"

"The same way I knew it was you, Angel Bunny, despite neither of us perceiving each other's true nature upon our first encounter, because we are the same," Philomena responded.

"Shit, have I lost my marbles, too?"

"I can assure you," Philomena said, grinning, "that your sanity or lack thereof has no bearing on my appearance before you."

"You said we were the same, the hell does that mean?  Am I, like, a phoenix rabbit?" Angel asked.

"What?  A phoenix ra-" Philomena replied, stumbling over her words as she tried to make sense of Angel's assumption.  "No, no.  What?  No, you're a normal rabbit."

"Then how are we the same?" Angel asked.

"Ask me the question that is truly on your mind, Angel," Philomena replied.

"The question truly on my mind?"

"Indeed."

"I... don't know what you're talking about," Angel replied nervously.

"Yes you do.  It's the question you've ignored since you and your master began speaking directly."

"...What the hell am I?" Angel asked, his tone morose.

"I will answer your question," Philomena said, "so long as I have your word that after I have told you all that I know, you will come with me, and you will do as I tell you."

"That sounds really vague and sinister," Angel replied.

"I ask this of you because I will need your help.  Because without your help, I might not be able to protect Equestria from what is coming," Philomena explained.  "But if you don't want to know who and what you are, I suppose I will simply seek out another Guardian."

"No!" Angel shouted, as Philomena turned and walked away.  "No, alright, fine, I'll help you out, just tell me the truth.  What do you mean, Guardian?  Is that what we are?  Are there others?"

"Many, yes, though I am by far the oldest.  Being reborn as a phoenix carries that advantage," Philomena replied.

"Reborn?" Angel asked.

"It is a phenomenon that neither Princess Celestia nor myself fully understand yet," Philomena began, "but throughout history, it has occurred time and again.  When a noble soul, a pony with a particularly exemplary capacity for compassion, bravery, righteousness, or similar, lays down his or her life for the sake of another individual within the boundaries of the Everfree Forest, but they feel they have not fulfilled their duty to that particular pony, they are sometimes reborn in the form of an animal.  Those animals are then compelled to seek out the pony for whom they died and continue to watch over them, completely unaware of their past life or their true motive for doing so.  That is why we are called Guardians."

"So let me get this straight," Angel began, "when I was a baby bunny, stumbling out of the Everfree Forest desperate for a bite to eat so I wouldn't starve to death, and Fluttershy found me and took me in, it was because I had died protecting her in a previous life?"

"That is correct."

"You are so full of shit," Angel sighed to himself as he began to walk back to his couch.

"I beg your pardon?" Philomena exclaimed indignantly.

"The glorified rooster who convinced us that she was as deathly ill as she was highly flammable shows up on my doorstep telling me I'm the reincarnation of some sort of hero.  You didn't think that maybe I'd be a little hesitant to believe that?"

"Why would you be?" Philomena asked.  "My appearance to you now should lend my story at least some credibility."

"Oh no, I believe you and I are the same," Angel responded.  "I just also believe that you get off on toying with people's emotions by lying to them.  You have any idea what you put my mum through with your little game?"

"I apologize for my previous deception," Philomena replied.  "I sometimes get bored, having lived for so long, and had I known that I was in the presence of a fellow Guardian, I would have exercised more professional behavior."

"Right well thanks for stopping by," Angel replied.  "I don't believe you, get out of my house, etcetera."

"Need I remind you that you promised to follow me after you heard what I had to say?" Philomena said.

"Yeah, that was my little prank," Angel replied.  "See how that works?"  Suddenly, Philomena waved her winged hoof in front of Angel's face, a rather large trail of fire appearing briefly in its wake, causing Angel to leap backwards and scream like a filly.  "CRICKEY, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?" he shouted.

"Come with me, or I burn down this cottage," Philomena said authoritatively.

"Alright, alright, geez," Angel said as he followed her out the door.

...

"So what are we doing, anyway?" Angel asked.  "I notice we're headed in the direction of the Everfree Forest."

"How much do you know about the Forest?" Philomena asked.

"I know it's batshit crazy and defies logic," Angel replied.

"On the surface, yes, but it is not that simple," Philomena replied.  "The Forest existed as early as Equestria's discovery by the original six explorers who founded the nation.  However, it has always been... different.  It has the capacity for great good, and great evil, and in times of strife, those brave enough to enter it could find things within that tipped the scales of many a conflict, things that did not exist anywhere else in the world."

"Okay, so?"

"Many beings appear in the Forest from time to time, some of whom are benevolent, others that are malicious.  Even when a malicious being appears, chances are it won't be a serious threat to Equestria, as these creatures are rarely compelled to leave the Forest.  However, once in a while, a serious threat does emerge, and when something from the Everfree Forest threatens Equestria, very rarely will conventional means of defense be effective.  At times like that, an unconventional defense of similar origin is required."

"Uh oh." Angel said, putting two and two together.

"That is the second reason why we are called Guardians."

"I was afraid you'd say that.  Sorry, but I really don't think I can help you," Angel said.

"Of course you can help me, you're a Guardian just as I am."

"No, I'm a rabbit," Angel corrected her, "and even if I believed your story about being some hero reborn or something, which I don't, by the way, the fact remains that I was still reborn as a rabbit."

"Most guardians exist as seemingly harmless animals, with myself being a rare exception," Philomena explained, "but at the exact moment when their services are required, they realize their true potential.  You will be able to help me in ways you cannot yet imagine."

"So tell me this," Angel said, "do us Guardians ever get to remember our pasts?"

"Most commonly in small amounts, manifesting in the form of deja vu, or brief flashes, sometimes even dreams, but I am one of the few to have regained her full memory."

"Then who were you?" Angel asked.

"Well now," Philomena smiled softly, "that, I will tell you if we survive the night."  Angel gulped, his belief in Philomena's deceptive nature beginning to falter as they entered the forest and an unrecognizable yet familiar sense of dread overtook him.

"I've been in here before," Angel said, his voice shaking, "but I've never felt this way."

"Some nights are clearer than others," Philomena explained cryptically, "and if the night is clear enough, we begin to connect with our past selves.  This is the reason why you and I are able to see each other as we truly are on this night."

"But Fluttershy can see me this way all the time," Angel said.

"And Princess Celestia perceives my true form as well.  That is something that always happens when the bond between a Guardian and their ward becomes strong enough, once the two have been together for a long enough period of time."

"I guess that makes sense," Angel responded.  "Fluttershy and I did only start talking recently, shortly after the butterfly started flapping."

"I'm sorry?"

"Inside joke," Angel said, smiling to himself.

"We're here," Philomena said, as they came to a stop outside of a hut.  The door opened, and a zebra motioned for them to enter.

"I am glad, Philomena, that you made it through," she said as they walked past her, "and I see your hunch about the rabbit was true."

"Can she see us?  Like, really see us?" Angel asked.

"Zecora is attuned to this Forest in ways that most are not, having lived within it," Philomena answered.  "So yes, she can really see us."

"And why are we here?"  Angel asked.

"Let her explain," Philomena replied.

"Within this forest, a creature was spawned, a beast made of shadow and brawn," Zecora began.  "Small at first, it posed no threat, but the more it eats the bigger it gets."

"The hell is she talking about?" Angel whispered, annoyed.

"Periodically, strange creatures, living shadows of sorts, are born in this Forest.  No one knows where they come from, and most of them are harmless, dissipating the moment they're exposed to the rising sun," Philomena said.  "But every once in a while, a shadow is able to avoid sunlight long enough to grow and evolve, growing in strength by feeding on other living things."

"And this is what we're here to stop?"

"Indeed.  I've defeated these shadows by myself before, but this one, be it lucky or more intelligent than others, managed to avoid detection long enough to become strong enough to leave the Everfree Forest," Philomena said.

"True, over time it has grown stronger, the wild animals of this forest no longer satisfy its hunger," Zecora nodded, a grave look on her face.

"But have you managed to pinpoint its location?" Philomena asked.

"Hard to track, this beast has been, but go to the old castle ruins, and you will find its den."

"Princess Celestia and I both thank you, Zecora, Angel and I vow to stop this beast before it leaves the Forest," Philomena said sternly.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Angel interrupted.  "Speaking for me much?  I feel the need to remind you yet again that I'm a bloody rabbit!  I've never fought so much as a mosquito before, so what exactly do you expect me to do against a pony-eating shadow?"

"As I said," Philomena replied, "a Guardian's usual vessel is that of a seemingly harmless creature, or at least, a non-magical one.  When a Guardian realizes their true potential, they gain special powers that manifest in a way that is based on the animal they normally exist as."

"Right, okay, so my powers that I still don't believe I have in the first place would be based on pooping, screwing, eating carrots, and kicking my hind legs hard enough to break my own back if my lower half isn't properly supported?  Fantastic, let's go save the world," he rolled his eyes.

"You gave me your word that you would assist me," Philomena said.  "At the very least, you're rather fond of your cottage, are you not?"

"You know what?" Angel said.  "Burn my house down for all I care.  You're both insane and I'm done suffering your bullshit."

"If to this situation you turn a blind eye, what will become of your dear Fluttershy?" Zecora asked.

"...Are you threatening her?" Angel replied.

"She's stating the truth," Philomena replied.  "Fluttershy lives on the border of the Everfree Forest, she's in more danger if that monster enters Equestria than anypony else."

"...Damnit alright." Angel begrudgingly replied.

...

"So if your story is true," Angel said as he and Philomena walked through the dark forest, "your super powers or whatever would be based on being a phoenix, right?"

"They are."

"So basically, flying and lots of fire?"

"Good guess, that's basically it."

"And you'd need my help why?" Angel asked.

"Because this shadow is stronger than others I've faced, and I don't want to take any chances."

"So I'm the backup."

"Is that a problem?"

"No, so long as you don't need to call me in," Angel replied.  "How do you kill a living shadow anyway?"

"Their bodies tend to be frail, but they heal themselves quickly.  The stronger they are, the faster they heal, so it's just a matter of inflicting enough damage on them that they can't heal."

"Guessing your fire comes in handy for that," Angel replied.

"It certainly does."

"Well, that puts my mind at ease, now I know that you won't really need my help fighting that thing you made up with those powers you don't actually have."

"Stop," Philomena whispered, as they approached the exterior of the castle.

"Is your imaginary monster close by?" Angel asked.

"You could say that," Philomena said.  "It's about to pounce on us."

"Wha-HOLY CRAP!" Angel shouted as Philomena pushed him to the right and leapt to the left, both of them narrowly avoiding the large, ebony blur that shredded the ground upon which it landed.  Angel regained his footing and was able to get a good look at the beast.  Sure enough, its body resembled a shadow, its flesh appearing barely tangible.  It was, perhaps, a little larger than a pony, but its features reminded Angel more of a reptile.  The head did, at least, having a long snout and visible, jagged teeth, and, in spite of its vague features, noticeable jaw muscles.  Its legs were long and muscular, the knees perpetually bent and reaching above the creature's body, which hung mere inches from the ground.  All of its feet were adorned with claws.

"Son of a bitch," Angel shouted.  "Really!?  You're real!?"  The creature turned its gaze to Angel, who immediately regretted speaking.  Suddenly, there was a bright flash behind the beast, causing it to leap backwards, shrieking in a threatening manner.  Angel looked over at Philomena, and couldn't believe what he saw.  The suit she had been wearing was replaced with full armor, a symbol Angel didn't recognize adorning her chest piece.  "Bloody hell, what happened to you?" he asked.

"This is what I looked like in the moment I died," Philomena replied, "and it is the form in which I fight for Princess Celestia!"  As she said this, she was engulfed in flame, which abruptly took the form of a pair of large wings protruding from her back.  With a single flap, she was lifted into the air.  "Stand clear, Angel!"

"Way ahead of ya, boss!" Angel replied as he hid behind a tree that he assumed was a safe distance away from whatever was about to happen.  Not a moment too soon, it turns out, as Philomena opened her mouth and let loose a stream of fire right at the shadow.  To her confusion, the monster vanished a split second before the fire made contact.

"Behind you!" Angel shouted.  Philomena whirled around to see that the creature had, indeed, maneuvered behind her, effortlessly climbing a tree so that it could leap to her.  She wasted no time in igniting the tree, but yet again, the beast's speed proved too quick.

"It's too fast!" Philomena shouted.

"Yeah and I don't mean to keep piling on the bad news," Angel shouted, "but the fire's spreading!"  This, also, was true, as four other trees had already ignited as well.  With one great span of her wings, a gust of wind extinguished the trees.

"Nice!" was what Angel was about to shout, but the cheer died on his lips as the beast, which had scaled the castle wall and jumped straight ahead, made contact with Philomena, cutting through her armor and bringing her crashing to the ground.

"Run, Angel!" she screamed through her pain.  "Run and tell Zecora what happened!  We'll need the Elements of Harmony!"  And Angel did run.  Straight at the shadow, ramming into it head first at full speed- and having literally no effect.  The creature leapt backwards, out of surprise rather than distress, and shrieked again.

"What are you doing!?" Philomena shouted.  "I underestimated this thing, now get out of here before it gets you to!"

"I'm not just gonna leave you!"

"I can fight," Philomena replied, hoisting herself to her feet, but clearly wincing from the pain.  Angel sucked his teeth as he saw her wound, at the base of her shoulder, just below her neck.

"Don't be stupid, you can't fight like that," Angel replied, "so don't.  You go warn everyone what's happening, I'll keep this thing distracted!"  The monster roared and poised itself to strike again.

"Angel!" Philomena shouted as the creature charged.

"Don't worry about me, just run as fast as you can and do NOT look back!" He shouted as the beast closed in on him.  Suddenly, he was consumed by a bright light, and he was somewhere else...

...Ponyville was no different from any other town he'd been run out of, save for the fact that it shared a border with the Everfree Forest.  He had taken shelter there, not knowing what the place really was.  He didn't care, it was the dead of night, he had swiped plenty of whiskey from the liquor store, and he had found a nice tree to lie against as he prepared to get the closest thing to natural sleep he had known in a very long time.

A whimper caused him to look up, and that was when he saw her.  She was just a little filly, though tall and thin for her age, and she looked very frail.  "Um... excuse me?" she said, almost in a whisper.

"The hell do you want?" he said, slurring his words.  She stepped closer, and covered her nose with her hoof, and in spite of his drunken stupor he was able to perceive her light yellow coat, her pink mane, and three butterflies that comprised her cutie mark.

"I'm sorry to bother you, it's just that, I've never flown down here at night before, and I'm lost, and this place is scaring me, and I was wondering, if it's not too much trouble I mean, if you could please show me the way out of this forest?"

"Moss grows on the north side of get the crap out of my face," he slurred again, pulling his hood down further so that he wouldn't have to make eye contact with her.

"I don't... know what you're talking about," she said, on the verge of tears.

"I said PISS OFF!" he shouted, causing her to squeal and run away in tears.

"Damn kids, what kinda parent lets 'em wander at night," he said to himself as his eyelids fell.  As he began to drift into sleep, he heard a piercing scream.  He recognized it as the little girl.  Reacting on instinct, he leapt to his feet and ran in the direction from which the sound had emanated.  The sight that greeted him would have paralyzed most ponies.  The girl had been cornered by a pack of timber wolves, at least five, but it was too dark to make out the exact number.  Without thinking, he leapt between the child and the beasts.

"Wait, don't-" her protests were halted by the commanding tone of his voice.

"Don't worry about me, just run as fast as you can and do NOT look back!" he shouted, slurring his words a bit but still getting his point across.  She galloped away as the wolves closed in on him.  He had a knife on him, but he didn't get the chance to use it.  He knew he had no chance at survival, but it didn't matter.  As the wolves reaped the fruits of their victory, his last thoughts were of the girl, and he wondered if she was safe...

...The light faded.  Philomena rubbed her eyes for a moment and beheld a figure standing between herself and the shadow that she recognized as Angel.  The rabbit suit that had adorned his body was gone, replaced by a brown cloak, faded and worn, that looked like it hadn't been washed in a very long time.  As he turned to face her, the hood fell from the top of his head, revealing his long, unkempt jet black mane, his faded gray eyes, and the light yellow coat he had always had.  The rough, patchy hair adorning his face gave the impression that it had been a while since he had shaved, but that his beard didn't grow evenly or fast.  The lines beneath his eyes told the story of a man who had not gotten a good night's sleep in years.  On his right side adorned a holster with an old knife in it, and on the left, a pouch, the tip of a bottle of whiskey protruding from it.

"This is what he looked like when he met his heroic end?" Philomena thought to herself skeptically.

"I take it back," Angel said, snapping her out of her musings.  "Don't run, stay and watch me kick some ass."

"What are you-"

"I can feel it in my legs, proportional strength and all that.  Let me show you what I mean." Angel grinned as the beast, overcoming its shock at seeing another transformation, darted towards Angel, who was gone in a moment.  "I'm over here, jackass!" his voice called out from behind the creature, who darted to the side to escape its unexpected predicament and survey its situation.  As it came to a stop a good distance away from where it had been, it smelled its enemy, and realized that Angel was standing right beside it.  Philomena watched in awe as the shadow took off again at a blinding speed, and she could barely make out Angel as he followed it, bounding forward, front legs hitting the ground at the exact same time, back legs doing the same.  She had never seen anyone run so fast before.  Finally, the frustrated beast spun around, lashing out with its claws, only to feel its leg being separated from the rest of it.  Angel gripped the knife firmly between his teeth, and took off again.  The shadow, unable to regain its balance as its leg grew back, was treated to a flurry of cuts all about its body.  As its missing leg finished rebuilding itself, another came off, followed by a third.  A delaying action.  The shadow acted on instinct, but was well aware of the fact that several small knife wounds were not going to kill it.

"It's healing itself too quickly!" Philomena shouted, limping towards them.  "We have to overwhelm it!"

"I've got a plan!" Angel shouted, dropping the knife and pulling the bottle of whiskey from his pouch.  "Guess this does count as a special occasion," he thought to himself as he cracked it over the shadow's back, drenching the thing.  "Here it comes!" Angel shouted as he spun his back to the creature, bucking it with all his might, sending it hurtling towards Philomena.  She belted out one last stream of fire, and with some help from the alcohol that now covered its body, the monster ignited like a struck match, crashing to the ground and screeching in pain.  It writhed for a few moments, before deforming into a shapeless mass and dissipating altogether.

...

Philomena and Angel, having returned to their normal states, sank into Fluttershy's couch, groaning with relief.  He cracked open a beer, offering one to her as well.  "Not as fancy as whatever they drink up at Canterlot, but if you're interested..."

"Please," Philomena said, prying the cap off of the bottle with her teeth, "when I was a knight, I could drink any stallion under the table.  Though that was ale, and judging by the smell of this stuff, it's barely stronger than water."

"You're alright," Angel replied, laughing.  "So you were a knight, then?'

"I was one of the six explorers who discovered Equestria, and being a Pegasus, of course I was military."

"No shit?"

"None whatsoever," Philomena continued.  "At the time I was known as Private Pansy, served under General Hurricane.  After some setbacks, we eventually founded Equestria along with the unicorns and earth ponies, and for the first five years everything went along smoothly."

"What happened?"

"Discord, a spirit of chaos and disharmony, enslaved us all."

"Guessing it wasn't a benevolent dictator then?"

"He kept Equestria in a constant state of chaos and confusion.  Everyone was miserable.  Most had resigned themselves to their fate.  For myself, I struck out on my own, looking for a way to save my people."

"Find anything?"  Angel asked, taking another sip.

"It was the first time I had set hoof in the Everfree Forest.  The first time anypony did, as far as I know.  It was said to contain forces that worked outside the normal boundaries of physics and magic as we understood it, and since that's what Discord did, I decided that was the place to look for a solution.  Turns out I wasn't the only pony who had that idea."

"Made some friends, did ya?"

"It was the first time I had met Celestia and Luna."

"The princesses!?" Angel exclaimed.

"Not yet, they were simply a pair of powerful alicorns who had been watching our developing nation but had no intention of interfering.  Not until Discord came along, at least.  The three of us made our way through the forest together, the sisters already knowing what they were looking for."

"And what was that?"

"The Elements of Harmony.  The metaphysical blueprint of order and peace, which they believed they could access through the Forest's unique properties, and manifest into physical form.  Eventually they did, and they stopped Discord, but I didn't live to see it."

"You died on that journey?"

"We were confronted by a Wyvern, and neither my fighting skills nor their magic could defeat it, so I stayed behind, fought it alone, while the alicorns I vowed to serve to the end reluctantly continued on.  It was a small consolation that I managed to take the beast down with me, though I felt as though I had not fulfilled my duty."

"And when did you find out about all this?" Angel asked.

"Once Princess Celestia had kept me as a pet for long enough, and was able to see me for what I was, she recognized me immediately, and working together we were able to unlock both my memories and gather information on what we dubbed Guardians."

"That's pretty incredible," Angel said, nodding respectfully.

"And what about you?  Surely you must have remembered something," Philomena said, nudging him.

"Only a little," Angel said, bowing his head and appearing ashamed.  "The minutes leading up to my death.  A vague idea of how I lived my life before that, but no specifics, don't even know what my name was.  I was no knight, no warrior, no hero.  I was a drifter, a drunkard, and a thief.  Barely met the qualifications of a heroic death because I let some timber wolves eat me instead of little-mum.  Died worrying about her safety."

"Whatever you were," Philomena said, placing a hoof on Angel's shoulder, "you proved yourself to be a hero the moment you saved a child, and you proved it again tonight.  Don't judge yourself based on whatever mistakes you may have made, and don't let it stop you from seeking the remnants of your past life."

"I have no intention of looking into that any further," Angel said quickly, "not because I'm afraid of what I'll find, but because it doesn't matter.  Whatever I was, whatever I did, that was literally in another life.  I'm Angel, I love my mum, booze is awesome, and that's all I need to know.  That and also that I'm a total badass when backed into a corner."

"Backed into a corner In the Everfree Forest," Philomena corrected him.

"Aw, only in there?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Well that blows," Angel huffed.

"Will you tell your master the truth?"

"Is there a reason why I should?" Angel asked.

"Not really."

"Then I don't see why it matters."

"I suppose it doesn't, for the most part."

"Only thing," Angel said, "is I wouldn't mind knowing my old name.  Someday."

"I'm sure it'll come to you eventually, the more you use your abilities.  If I can count on you the next time there's trouble in the Everfree Forest, that is."

"Any time before five," Angel replied.

"Deal," Philomena replied as they clicked their bottles together.

Putting Your Hoof Down

"Get whatever else you want," Cranky said.  "My treat."

"Your treat?" the caped stallion replied from across the table.  "It sort of always is, right?  You pay for lodging, food, things I... appropriate for myself."

"Somepony's gotta keep you honest, kid," Cranky replied.

"And will you stop calling me 'kid'?  I'm twenty-three."

"Still a kid compared to this old donkey," he replied, "and I bothered to specify that it was my treat because today marks a full year that we've been travelling together."

"Where does the time go..." the stallion said.

"Well ya tend to lose large chunks of it when you spend all your down time drinkin'."

"Yeah, speaking of which, why did we come to a diner instead of checking out the local pub?"  They were in a port town that received goods imported from the land of the Griffons, and as such the Griffons comprised the majority of the town's population, and the ale they brewed was said to be especially good.

"Because I needed a break from keeping your drunken behind outta trouble," Cranky replied flatly.  "The percentage of towns in Equestria I've been run out of has increased from none to one-was-too-many since I started bar-hoppin' with you."

"Nopony ever said you couldn't join me, you don't have to be the designated buzzkill, mate," he replied.

"Sorry, gotta keep my wits about me at all times," Cranky replied.

"Right," the stallion replied, "finding Matilda.  There are other fish in the sea, you know?  And you've been searching for this one for how many years now?"

"I've lost track of the years, but when you find true love, you lose your taste for fish," Cranky replied, somewhat distantly.

"Speaking of taste," the waitress interrupted, placing a bowl on the table, "this is for you, on the house."  The stallion looked down at the towering ice cream sundae that had been placed before him, complete with a cherry on top.  "Any dessert for you, sir?" she asked the donkey.

"None for me, thanks," he nodded as she walked away.  "She likes you," he added.

"Not really into Griffons," the stallion replied, eating the cherry first.  "Their beaks tend to get in the way of like everything."

"Creep." Cranky replied.

"Well I'm certainly no angel.  Sundae's good, though," he said, taking a second spoon-full.  "So it's been a full year, huh?"

"Eeyup."

"Crickey, no idea how you've put up with me for all that time, all the trouble I've gotten you into.  How many towns have 'asked' us not to return?"

"Three." Cranky replied.  "And as for why, I'm still hopin' that one of these days you'll wise up and stop actin' like such a jackass.  Yeah, I know what I just said, wipe that smirk off your face, I'm bein' serious.  You're better than you give yourself credit for, and I'm not givin' up on ya quite yet, kid.'

"Trying to be a positive influence, eh old man?  Well, I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I assure you, I am a scoundrel, through and through," the stallion grinned.

"You're full of it."

"In any case, seeing as how it is the anniversary of our little bromance, I propose a toast:  To the two most mismatched desperadoes in Equestria and their never ending search for love and loot.  You find the love, I find the loot!" the stallion raised his glass of ice water.

"Heh," Cranky rolled his eyes.  "Here, here."

"And once again I renew my semi-sincere promise to both help you find your Matilda, and to strike it rich, or my name isn't Driiiiiiiiiiippppphhhhhhh..."

Angel awoke to the familiar surroundings of Fluttershy's cottage.  "So close..." he thought as he tried to go back to sleep.

...

"Alright, Mr. Mousey, these are the new details of my old life that I learned in my dream," Angel said, pacing back and forth in the living room in front of a mouse towards whom he had carelessly thrown a pencil and paper.  "I apparently travelled with a donkey for at least a little while, even though I was alone when I died.  We'll mark that one under 'irrelevant', because I don't really care about that stuff.  The important thing is that I was in the process of enjoying an especially good ice cream sundae when I began to say my own name.  Obviously, I woke up before I heard the whole thing, or we wouldn't be having this emergency staff meeting right now."  A squeak came in response.

"Our course is obvious: I must recreate the circumstances of that moment by eating a sundae.  This will surely trigger the dream again, I can hear the end of it, learn my old name, and stop worrying about the past once and for all!  Genius, I know.  Oh, but I can't simply eat an ice cream sundae, no no, I have to enjoy it, meaning I'll have to tweak the dessert in question to suit my more rabbit-like palette.  Alright, read that back to me."  The mouse squeaked once.  "What do you mean you weren't paying attention!?  I'm standing here, spilling my inner turmoil and darkest secrets to you and you can't even bloody pay attention!?  You're fired!"  The mouse squeaked again and started walking away.  "No, okay, wait, you're rehired.  You're the only thing with ears I know that'll sit still long enough for me to finish a thought."

...

"Here you go, Angel Bunny!" Fluttershy said as she placed his meal before him.

"I don't want this stuff!" Angel said as he kicked the bowl away, clearly overplaying his disdain.

"Okay, Mister Picky-pants, you win. Carrots, lettuce and apples!" she replied, placing another bowl of the aforementioned goods before him.

"Carrots, lettuce, and apples are bullshit!" Angel said in response, throwing the second bowl aside.

"What?" Fluttershy asked, surprised.  "But- Then, what will you eat?"

"So glad you asked!" Angel replied enthusiastically, as he darted away, and came back holding a recipe book, already open to a specific page.  "Feast your eyes on this bad boy!"  Fluttershy studied the picture of what looked like an ice cream sundae but was comprised of various fruits and vegetables.

"I'm not sure I can even make that!" Fluttershy replied.

"This, right here?" Angel said, tapping the picture with his hoof repeatedly.  "Only thing that'll keep me from starving to death."

"Well... I don't want you to starve..." she replied.  "Oh, are you sure I can't tempt you with a nice crisp piece of-"

"No!" Angel cut her off, slapping a piece of lettuce out of her hand and shoving the book into her face.  "Yes!"

"I'll make your special recipe," Fluttershy sighed.

...

"Don't judge me!" Angel said in response to a squeak from the mouse.  "Maybe I was a tad demanding, but this is important, and you know that.  This meal that mum's preparing in the other room is the key to learning my old name, and it has to be perfect, right down to the cherry on top."  The mouse squeaked again.  "Why didn't I tell her the truth?  Well for one thing, the story is crazy and no sane pony would believe it, and even if she did..." Angel lowered his head, and spoke with a  more morose tone of voice.  "I don't want mum to start seeing me as the angry drunk who nearly got her killed by yelling at her."  Another squeak.  "Yes, I know it's ironic that I'm accomplishing this by getting angry and yelling at her more, smartass.  Also, stop analyzing this."

"Tada!" Fluttershy proudly declared, placing the sundae before Angel.  "Here you go, Angel!"

"Thanks, mum!  Gotta make sure I start with the cher-" Angel stopped short as he looked more closely at his sundae, "-ry?"

"Sorry there's no cherry on top, but the rest of it is exactly what you wanted!" Fluttershy said.

"Is there really no cherry on top?" Angel asked, an unsettling calm in his voice.

"There's not..." Fluttershy replied.

"Then it isn't exactly what I wanted, now is it!?" he shouted, overturning the bowl and throwing his meal to the ground.  The mouse squeaked.  "You stay out of this!" Angel commanded.  "And you, mum, this is literally the most important meal in the world to me, and after everything I've done for you, I don't think it's too much to ask that you make it exactly the way the book says!"

"I really am a doormat..." Fluttershy said sadly.

"What are you talking about?" Angel asked.

"Rarity said I was a doormat after I kept letting people cut in line for the ingredients at the marketplace.  The cherry vendor even raised the price on his last cherry because he knew I wanted it."

"Oh!"  Angel said.  "I see the problem now!  Obviously I'll take care of that vendor at my leisure but for right now, what you need is some assertiveness training!"

"Assertiveness training?" Fluttershy asked.

"Some goat came by and left this in your mailbox, and then I took it," Angel replied, producing a pamphlet.

"Why would you take-"

"Focus, mum, this is the key to getting your hooves on that cherry!" Fluttershy stared blankly.  "Uh- I mean, the key to helping you improve your life or something!"

"'The incredible Iron Will turns doormats into dynamos. Assertiveness seminar today, Hedge Maze Centre.'" she read aloud.  "As Celestia is my witness, I'm never going to be a pushover again!"

"That's the spirit!" Angel shouted triumphantly.  "Now get going!" he added as he pushed Fluttershy over the threshold of the cottage.

...

"Alright," Angel said, preparing to start a new day, "time to see if that training paid off, how're ya feeling, mum?"

"I feel good," Fluttershy responded.  "Ready to 'attack the day', as Iron Will says!"

"'Atta girl!" Angel said.  "Let's get out there and attack us some diem!"  As they left the cottage, they caught sight of the local gardener, Greenhooves, as he grossly overwatered Fluttershy's flower bed.

"I think you might be over-watering my petunias... again," Fluttershy said as the elderly stallion chucked.

"Let the professional handle it," Greenwood said dismissively.

"Would Iron Will put up with that?  Will you?" Angel asked.

"'Treat me like a pushover, and you'll get the once-over!'" Fluttershy said, repeating one of Iron Will's inspirational catchphrases.  She proceeded to stomp down Greenwood's hose, causing it to back up.  As he peered down the nozzle to identify the problem, she lifted her hoof, resulting in a very drenched gardener.

"Well perhaps that is enough water..." Mr. Greenwood said as he coughed.

"That was flippin' awesome!" Angel cheered.

"I can't believe it worked!" Fluttershy said, giggling proudly.

"I can, it's like I've been saying all along, you channel that inner strength, and nopony can stand in our way!  Now come on, we've got more day to attack!" Angel replied.

...

"Excuse me?" Fluttershy asked the two mares standing in front of her.  Both were pulling carts of rubbish and were blocking off the bridge, while deep in conversation.  "Would you mind moving your carts so I can pass?"

"Yeah yeah, in a minute," one of the women replied, only half acknowledging her.  "I just wanna finish up this story..."

"When somepony tries to block?" Angel asked, a grin forming on his face.

"Show them that you rock!" Fluttershy replied, bucking the carts and spilling garbage all over the impromptu pony-blockade.

"Easy does it, lady!" they shouted indignantly.  "We're moving, okay?"

"Good!" Fluttershy barked back at them.

"This might be the best day of my life," Angel whispered to himself, trying to contain his laughter.

...

"What do you think you're doing?!" Fluttershy asked the mare who had blatantly cut in front of her in line at Sugarcube Corner. "Didn't you see me?"

"I guess, maybe?" she replied, not paying attention.

"What a bitch," Angel said.  "'Maybe', she says."

"Maybes are for babies!" Fluttershy responded, angrily commanding the mare to move to the back of the line.  Not only did she comply, but so did everyone else in the line.

"Am I dreaming?" Angel asked.  "If I am I don't want to wake up!  Path's clear, mum, let's get us that cherry!"  Fluttershy nodded happily as she approached Pinkie Pie and Rarity at the counter.

"Look at you!" Pinkie said, impressed.  Rarity agreed and they spent some time discussing the finer points of Fluttershy's refreshingly dominating personality.

"New Fluttershy feels pretty stoked about new Fluttershy," she said proudly.

"Well, old Pinkie Pie feels really proud of new Fluttershy," Pinkie replied, producing a large bowl of punch.  "Proud as pink punch. Want some?" and she began to laugh.

"You are very easily amused, you know that?" Angel said, raising an eyebrow.

"You laugh at me?" Fluttershy asked.  "I wrath at thee!" as she knocked the punch bowl over on top of Pinkie, soaking her.

"Um, okay!" Angel said, feigning enthusiasm in the form of a toothy smile combined with nervous eyes.  "That might have been completely uncalled for, mum..." he laughed nervously.

"Bye, girls!" Fluttershy said cheerfully as she left the shop.

"Mum, you forgot to buy the cherry," Angel said as he followed her out of the shop.  He watched in horror as a stallion tried to commandeer the taxi carriage she had flagged down, only to be beaten and tossed to the ground.

"Nopony pushes new Fluttershy around!" she screamed, waving her hoof in the air dramatically.  "NOPONY!"

"...Oh shit," Angel said as the carriage took off without him.

...

"Well," Angel said as Fluttershy stared down at a puddle of water, observing her reflection, "you shoved a mailman into a mailbox for having shit eyesight, you assaulted a tourist who asked you a question, and you verbally cut down your closest friends."

"I'm a monster," Fluttershy muttered as she began to tear up.

"I might be partially responsible for this," Angel admitted.  "I was the one who encouraged this behavior from you, all because I wanted a stupid cherry.  It was wrong of me to manipulate you for my own selfish gain, and I'm sorry.  But don't you worry, I'm gonna make this right!  Together we'll figure out how you can be assertive without acting like a psychopath!"

"No, Angel, I'm too far gone.  There's only one solution."

...

"I think you should listen to your friends," Angel said, referring to Rarity and Pinkie Pie who were attempting to reconcile with Fluttershy through the closed door of her cottage.  "Boarding up the windows and doors and tying yourself up so you don't harm others is admirable, but I feel I would be remiss if I didn't point out the fact that we are going to run out of food eventually.  This is not a permanent solution."  He responded to a growing commotion outside by hopping over to a nearby window.

"What's going on?" Fluttershy asked.

"Iron Will," Angel said.  "He's jerking your friends around, it seems."

"He must be here to collect his payment for the seminar," Fluttershy replied distantly.

"As if he deserves one Bit for putting us through this crap," Angel said.

"I'm going to pay him what I owe him," Fluttershy said, wriggling out of her bindings.

"You can't be serious, mum.  His assertiveness training has brought you nothing but misery!  You've got to put your hoof down and tell him you're not paying!"

"If I do that, I'll just turn into a monster again.  I'd rather be a doormat than hurt anypony."

"Then choose the third option," Angel said.  "Assert yourself without becoming a monster."

"But how?" Fluttershy asked meekly.

"You march out that door, look that minotaur straight in the eye, and you lay out a perfectly calm, and rational explanation as to why you're not paying him jack shit!"

"I..." Fluttershy's eyes widened.  "I think I know what to say to him!"

"Then I'll defer to your judgment, like I should have done in the first place."

...

"Guess everything turned out well enough," Angel said.  "You cited Iron Will's 'you pay nothing if you're not satisfied' rule, stuck to your guns until he left, and made amends with your mates.  The only problem is..." he grimiaced at the boring assortment of lettuce and oranges in the bowl in front of him.

"Angel," Fluttershy commanded.

"Fine," he sighed in defeat, "I guess it's better than starving to death."  He reluctantly took a small bite.  "Actually, that's not bad," he said as he began to eat more.  Fluttershy smiled as he enjoyed the meal.

...

Even though he didn't recreate the circumstances, he enjoyed the special meal his master had prepared for him enough to recapture that old feeling, and as a result, he once again dreamed of that moment in the diner...

"In any case, seeing as how it *is** the anniversary of our little bromance, I propose a toast:  To the two most mismatched desperadoes in Equestria and their never ending search for love and loot.  You find the love, I find the loot!" the stallion raised his glass of ice water.*

"Heh," Cranky rolled his eyes.  "Here, here."

"And once again I renew my semi-sincere promise to both help you find your Matilda, and to strike it rich, or my name isn't Drif-"

"Here's the check, sirs, enjoy the rest of your day!" The waitress said cheerfully, interrupting him mid-sentence and placing the slip of paper between them.

"Oh, thank you," the stallion replied.  "Anyway, yadda yadda, here's to us!"  And they clicked their glasses together...

"SON OF A WHORE!" Angel shouted as he opened his eyes, waking the entire cottage in the process.

Dragon Quest

"Well, now," said young Thunderhooves, joining the stallion at the edge of the cliff overlooking the desert, "it seems my tribe has reached an agreement."

"Yeah?" asked the stallion.

"Nobody likes you."

"Ouch," he said, laughingly.

"Thanks in no small part to your attitude, but you are my friend, and the chief is my father, so you are hereby recognized as an honorary member of our tribe," Thunderhooves replied.

"I really don't see why you went to the trouble, mate," the stallion replied.  "It's not like I'm looking to make a home here, I just felt like stampeding with you for a few days."

"And that act alone is what made you a candidate.  It is a great honor, even if you do not live among us.  It means you have a family, and a place to return to should you ever desire."

"Right, I'm getting all warm and fuzzy over it."

"As such, the time has come for me to bestow upon you a tribal name."

"The name I've got ain't good enough?" the stallion asked.

"I didn't say that," Thunderhooves replied defensively, "but this is tradition.  Your tribal name must tell a story, your story.  However, I cannot give you one until I know your story.  Will you share it with me at last?"

"Well, let's see," the stallion said, thinking, "my parents and their parents hopped on a boat from the Old Country, looking for a better life."

"The Old Country?"  Thunderhooves asked.

"Right, forgot that's just what us ponies call it.  You might know it as the Divided Three, the old nation from which the six founders of Equestria came."

"Ah yes, a land that never fully recovered from the reign of the Windigos, correct?"

"Right," the stallion replied.  "Well, it certainly ain't easy to make a living over there, I'm told, so my family decided to move to Equestria.  I was born during the trip, shortly before the ship was attacked by pirates and destroyed.  Only survivors aboard the whole ship were my father, my grandfather, and me.  Rest of my grandparents, and my mother, they weren't so lucky."

"My condolences," Thunderhooves said sincerely.

"Not like I remember it," he replied distantly, "or them.  Anyway, the two of them, yours truly in tow, clung to the wreckage and were eventually rescued.  We wound up arriving in Equestria only slightly behind schedule, believe it or not, though thanks to those pirates, with almost no money."

"I see," Thunderhooves replied.

"So naturally one of my first memories is of my father taking off, saying he's gonna make it big and come back for me and his dad.  Suffice it to say, I never heard from the bastard again.  So my grandfather raised me, and we got by well enough.  I never quite fit in with the other colts in town, they always used to tease me about my Old Country accent.  Fillies loved it, though,"  He grinned as he said this.  "But when I was ten, so that was... I'm nineteen now, eleven years ago."

"Nine years ago," Thunderhooves corrected him, raising an eyebrow.

"Whatever," the stallion replied dismissively.  "My grandfather passed, leaving me with nothing, so I skipped town and didn't look back.  Been travelling ever since, searching for fame, fortune, and the companionship of the fairer sex."  He had to decided omit the detail of acquiring that middle one by taking it from the inattentive.

"Is that truly what you seek?" Thunderhooves asked, already assuming it wasn't.

"I know where you're going with this, so don't bother.  Yes, that is all I seek," the stallion replied, his voice lacking confidence, "so make with the tribal name already."

"From this day forward, you shall be known among the buffalo as No-Moss," Thunderhooves replied.

"Like the old saying," the stallion grinned.  "Though I think 'Rolling Stone' would sound tougher."

"It would," Thunderhooves agreed, "but it's taken."

"Bummer."

"When you depart from our camp," Thunderhooves said, a more serious tone in his voice, "and continue your quest, always remember this:  There is at least one place in this world in which you do belong, No-Moss!"

Angel awoke to the site of the rising sun peering over the bottom of the window sill.  "My subconscious is a dick," he said groggily.

...

"Look, Fluttershy," Rainbow Dash said angrily, "I watched that boring butterfly migration with you, so now it's your turn to watch the dragon migration with me!  You owe me!"

"I... said... NO!" Fluttershy shouted in response as she knocked Rainbow Dash to the ground and escaped through the window of her cottage.

"Oh shit!" Angel said, laughing.  "That one was totally called for!  Mum, wait up!"

"I do feel bad about pushing Rainbow like that," Fluttershy said as she trotted away from the cottage.

"Don't need to explain yourself to me," Angel said.  "I'm the last pony that'll blame ya.  So what are we gonna do today instead of seeing the migration?"

"Hiding from the migration," Fluttershy said.  "Zecora's taking a census of the animals living in her area of the Everfree Forest, and I told her I'd help her with it."

"Sounds like a plan," Angel said happily.

"If you want to see the migration, I don't want to stop you," Fluttershy added.

"Nah, You see one dragon, you've seen 'em all.  And I've seen one and a half.  Well, one and one hundredth."

"You're still making fun of Spike's size after his birthday incident?"

"I'll admit," Angel said, "that was pretty terrifying.  But he couldn't even rampage through the town right, one look at a shiny object and he distracts himself into aging backwards.  And then you had to keep him from falling to his death."

"So?"

"So Spike gained and lost my respect that day, broke even," Angel replied as Fluttershy shook her head.

Suddenly, a loud crash came echoing through the forest, shaking the very ground on which they stood, followed by a shriek of pain.  "Oh my goodness, it sounds like somepony's hurt!" Fluttershy cried as they ran towards the direction of the scream.  Both Angel and Fluttershy gasped as they came upon the source of the commotion.  Before them, sprawled atop several fallen trees, was a medium sized dragon, roughly three times the size of a pony, with bright yellow scales.  Its eyes were scrunched shut and its teeth were bared.  Its breathing sounded very labored.

"A d...d...dragon!?" Fluttershy said in shock, instinctively taking a few steps back.

"Looks like he's hurt pretty bad, mum," Angel said.  "Seems to have some broken bones, must've hit the ground hard.  I suppose you'll want to help him then?"

"Help!?" Fluttershy said, before she regained her composure.  "Well, I don't know all that much about dragons, but I'll try!"

"If you don't know all that much about dragons, you shouldn't try to do this yourself," Angel replied.  "We should continue on to Zecora's place, I think she knows a thing or two."

"Good idea, Angel Bunny!" Fluttershy replied.  "You stay here and keep an eye on him, I'll go get Zecora!"

"Wait, mum, I didn't mean-" but she had already run off.  "So..." Angel said, turning to the dragon, "conscious?  No?  Great, I'll just sit here then."

...

"You..." the dragon whispered, as Angel turned to see that its eyes had opened, "get over here so I can eat you."

"Right, well, I'm Angel, and it's nice to meet you, too," Angel replied, unfazed.

"What's that?" the dragon asked.  "I can't hear too well, come closer..."

"You understand me, then?"

"You're a pony who speaks the common tongue, same as me, why wouldn't I?" the dragon asked in response.

"Interesting.  Well anyway, no, I won't be doing what you just said.  Just sit tight until my mum comes back with help, tough guy."

"Moment she comes near me?  Totally eaten," the dragon replied.

"And now you've crossed a line," Angel said calmly, standing up.  "I know I don't look like much, but here in the Everfree Forest, if you push my buttons, make no mistake, I will ruin your shit."

"Bring it on, Guardian!" the beast roared, descending into a fit of painful coughs.

"You know about us?"

"Of course, I'm a hundred years old.  Not the first time I've been in the Everfree Forest, not the first time I've met a Guardian."

"So you know that you're badly injured, and you know that I'm a Guardian, but you're still trying to start a fight.  You are not a smart dragon," Angel said.

"And you're not a smart Guardian, ya little pissant!" the dragon retorted.  "This is your only chance to beat me.  Once I've recovered, you won't get another shot.  Don't forget, I'm your enemy."

"I don't get you," Angel said, before it dawned on him.  "That's what this is... you want to die."

"I take it back," the dragon replied, "you are a smart Guardian.  Now do your worst."

"No dice, mate," Angel replied.  "Not my style, not worth my effort.  All that nonsense about eating ponies that are willing to help you, I don't buy it.  You overplayed your hand in trying to provoke me, plain and simple."

"Wasn't nonsense," the dragon replied.  "I despise you ponies.  I won't accept any help from your kind save for the sweet release of death."

"Well, despite my appearance, I haven't been a pony for quite some time," Angel replied, "so why don't you tell me what your deal is, y'know, between us non-ponies?"

"I'm not the one with a deal," the dragon replied.  "It's the ponies."

"Do tell."

"I'm not gonna spill my guts to appease your passing curiosity, pissant."

"Then let's start with an easy one," Angel said.  "What's your name?"

"Don't have one."

"Bullshit," Angel said, "every dragon is given a tough sounding name, even the ones that aren't actually tough, now let's hear yours."

"There needs to be someone who can give the dragon a name for him to have one," the dragon replied.  "So I don't have one."

"A lone wolf, eh?  I can respect that."

"Don't patronize me, pissant," the dragon replied angrily, coughing in pain again.

"Not a lifestyle choice then, I take it?"

"Since you care so much, I'll break this down for you.  I don't know where I came from," the dragon replied, sounding annoyed at the constant questions.  "I hatched in the Divided Three, and when I was an baby, I was taken in and raised by a stray pack of wolves."

"Raised by wolves?" Angel asked.  "That's rather cliché.  And cool as shit."

"Didn't last long," the dragon replied, "after the first two years, I was already bigger than they were.  They perceived me as a threat, and attacked.  I escaped, but was on my last leg."

"Terrible," Angel said, "just terrible.  How did you survive?"

"It was a pony who found me, treated my wounds.  Not just that, she taught me how to speak, how to survive.  How to keep myself hidden."

"Keep yourself hidden?"

"Dragons are feared in the Divided Three.  In Equestria they're regarded as a rare phenomenon, in the Three, they are considered to be an abomination that is to be exterminated."

"I didn't know that," Angel said.  "So this pony, she didn't give you a name?"

"She said she wanted to wait, to think long and hard about what she would call me, to ensure that she gave me the best name possible.  Before that happened, her people discovered that she had been raising a dragon.  It was a crime that was punishable by death."

"And you?" Angel asked, a grim look on his face.

"I had recovered by then, and while I couldn't save her, I had gotten strong.  I decided that their crime was punishable by death, too."

"Guess I can't blame you for that," Angel replied sadly.  "Not that I condone violence, but it doesn't sound like you were left with much choice but to defend yourself."

"And that would become the standard by which I lived my life.  Never accepted by ponies for being a dragon who had already acted out against them, never accepted by dragons because I 'stank of equine', as they put it."

"So it's not so much that you despise ponies," Angel began.

"I despise everyone," the dragon replied.

"Something tells me you didn't stop making an effort," Angel said.  "You crashed here from the Great Dragon Migration, didn't you?"

"I did," the dragon replied.  "I followed them in hopes of finding my kin, parents, siblings, distant relatives, anyone who shared a bloodline with me.  My last chance for companionship, last chance to find a home.  But the other dragons in the Migration, they didn't take to kindly to me being there, and after a few hours of flying, I was rejected.  I spent too much time surrounded by other creatures, and I didn't understand them, and they didn't understand me."

"Still," Angel said, "attacking you?  There's no justification for doing that."

"I might have called one of them a narrow-minded, smoke-blowing, literal asshole," the dragon said, sounding embarrassed.

"Nice!" Angel laughed.  As he did, the dragon began to laugh as well, before wincing in pain.  Then its face became angry again.

"Look at me, sharing a laugh with a creature that I hate," the dragon said melodramatically.  "Have I no pride?"

"Oh, cut the shit," Angel said.  "You were just unlucky enough to meet a string of assholes, but not everyone wants to be your enemy."

"That right?  You saying you're different, pissant?" the dragon said skeptically.

"If there's one thing my mum's taught me, it's the importance of kindness,  and friendship.  Nopony is an island, as they say, and I guess the same can be said for dragons, too."

"And you, who's had someone in his life all this time, knows what about loneliness, exactly?" the dragon asked him, raising its brow.

"From what I gather about my past life," Angel replied, "I was a very lonely man, a man who scoffed at the idea of companionship.  Treated the few friendships I did have like some kind of ironic joke.  In fact I'd say I know the pain of solitude better than you, as I came to a rather nasty end because of it."

"Did you have a name?" the dragon said.

"Two, actually, that I know of," Angel replied.

"Then you weren't really alone, were you?  You were at least offered a home, creatures to call a family, and you rejected them, didn't you?"

"I suppose I did..."

"I, on the other hand, was the one who was rejected, the one who was never named, the one who had no family.  And it's brought me to a rather nasty end as well."

"What are you talking about?" Angel asked.

"I'm pretty messed up, here, and my time is running out.  I was trying to piss you off earlier so you'd take me out fast, but the slow death's just about run its course too, so thanks for that, pissant."

"Crap," Angel said urgently.  "Look, my mum should be back soon, like within minutes, just hang on a bit longer."

"Why?" the dragon asked.

"Because we'll give you a name," Angel protested, "and I've got a nice family that I know will accept you.  There are lots of ponies in the town of Ponyville, just outside the forest.  My mum's great, and her five friends are alright, and they've already welcomed one dragon into their family."

"That right?" the dragon smiled.  "Well that's good to hear.  I hope that one has a better life than I did."

"Yeah, jury's still out on that one," Angel muttered as the dragon looked at him quizzically, "but that's not the point.  The point is, your life's not over either, mate.  So muster up all the strength you can, and hang on for a few more minutes!"  The dragon began laughing uncontrollably before descending into another coughing fit.

"I wouldn't have guessed," he said softly, his eyes growing heavy, "that here, at the end, I would find someone who cared about me.  Ain't that a kick in the ass.  Bummer that I won't be able to meet your family, pissant.  If they're anything like you, they'd be alright.  'Least you're here."

"Okay seriously?  If you die I'm gonna be super-pissed!" Angel said.

"Then be pissed, for all I care," the dragon smiled weakly, his breathing becoming far more labored.  "But do me this one favor, and give me a name."

"Damnit!" Angel hissed as tears began to form in his eyes.  "Fine.  I have a name for you."

"Yeah?" the dragon whispered hopefully.

"Your name is Rolling Stone," Angel said, bowing his head.

"Rolling Stone... I like it, sounds tough," Rolling Stone said.

"Yeah," Angel replied sadly.

"Goodbye, Angel..." said Rolling Stone, as he closed his eyes for the last time.

"Goodbye, my friend."

...

"I'm so sorry, Angel," Fluttershy said through tears, having learned of the conversation between Angel and Rolling Stone.  "I'm sorry we weren't quick enough."

"No matter how fast we may have run," Zecora said as she walked over to them, having finished evaluating Rolling Stone's injuries, "there is nothing that we could have done."  Though they had to work all through the night, they gave the fallen dragon a proper burial, and eventually Zecora would mark the site with a headstone bearing his name.  Fluttershy and Angel returned to the cottage in silence.  Once they had reached their home, Angel abruptly embraced Fluttershy.

"What's that for?" she asked lovingly, returning the hug.

"Everything," Angel replied simply.  "It's for everything, mum."

Hurricane Fluttershy

"What are you doin' back already, boy?" the old stallion asked, looking up from the fireplace at the young colt who had entered the small house.

"I'm done," the boy sniffed, tears in his eyes.  "The others told me to get lost, said I'd just get in the way."

"Your classmates?" the old man asked.

"Yeah."

"Winter Wrap Up is a tradition in towns like this, goes back centuries.  Your five year old classmates don't have the authority to turn you away," the old man laughed.

"If they're just gonna keep making fun of me, what's the point?  They get things done for Winter Wrap Up by cooperating with each other, like they're one big pony, but if they don't include me, there's nothing I can do.  I can't make a difference if I'm alone!"

"You think one pony by himself can't make a difference?"

"Not when everypony else is against him.  Not unless he's like super strong or something."

"Hogwash," the old man replied.  "Your mother wasn't physically strong, and just look at what she accomplished."

"My mum?  What did she do?"

"She endured your birth on rough waters against an uncertain future, in cramped and filthy conditions, for starters.  Quite an ordeal, to be sure."

"She wasn't alone," the boy said meekly,  "She had the support of you and pop."

"True," the old man replied, "we were there with her every step of the way, and since we can't really imagine what sort of pain she went through, let me try another example you might be able to wrap your head around more easily.  Let me tell you about the pirate attack, when we lost almost everything."

"I don't like when you talk about that, grampa," the boy replied, his lip quivering.

"I know it's not an easy thing to hear about, but I'm not gonna sugar coat things for you now.  Your pop's gone, and I won't be around forever, so you gotta be strong!"

"Grampa!" the boy protested.  "Okay."  He sat down on the floor.

"When the cannon balls started shredding the hull, and the deck was catching fire, the ship just came apart right under our feet, and all around us.  The walls came down, and the storm that had been raging outside rushed in and surrounded us.  Next thing I knew, we were in the dark, the moonlight barely shining through a small gap in the clouds.  My wife," he took a moment to regain his composure, "was nowhere to be seen.  Your pop was clinging to the same piece of wood that I was, and your mother wasn't far away, on a board of her own.  Then we all heard you crying, your cradle drifting away, being tossed around by the waves.  Your mother was still recovering, and she was by herself, and she dove in after ya, and with all the strength she had, she brought you back to us.  It was the last thing she ever did.  Can you really tell me you don't think she made a difference that day?  Surrounded by the chaos, on the precipice of death, with nopony around to help her, she threw herself into the storm so that you could have a future.  Now you have to find your own strength.  I know I'm bein' dramatic with the wording, but it's the only way I can convey even a sliver of the magnitude of what I saw that night."

"I didn't know all that," the boy replied, his tearful eyes widening in awe.  "She really did all of that?"

"She did a hell of a lot more than your father and I could have, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.  And he and I both knew, even then, that you had her strength of will.  That's why he chose your name the way he did, when the fishermen that rescued us first noticed the wreckage.  What they thought they saw in the water, that became your name.  He wanted the memory of your mother's sacrifice to be with you always..."

Angel awoke, no longer surprised by the dreams he had been having.  He rolled his eyes, shifted a bit in his bed, and simply tried to fall back asleep.

...

"Honestly, at this point, I'm burnt out on the whole thing, mate," Angel said solemnly.  Hummingway the hummingbird chirped in response.  "All I wanted to know was my bloody name," he continued, "and nothing else.  And wouldn't you know it, since I made that resolution I've been learning everything but.  I don't even care anymore, don't know why I wanted to know it so badly in the first place."  The bird chirped again.  "Nothing that could help me figure it out," Angel replied.  "We were lost at sea, some fishermen found us, and apparently my pop named me after what they mistook the wreckage for."  Another chirp.  "Best guess?  My name was Lotta Burning Rubbish.  Awesome, I know.  Can't wait to get it engraved on the pocket watch I stole."

Suddenly, a piece of paper landed near Angel.  "Now what's this?" he asked, looking upward to see Rainbow Dash overhead dropping several identical sheets.  "Hey!" Angel shouted.  "Littering?  Really!?  It's your job to maintain the environment, you're going in the completely wrong direction!"

"Calling all Pegasus ponies!" Rainbow Dash shouted, "Meeting tonight!  Be cool or be mule!"  Rainbow stopped near the mule that had been within earshot.  "No offense!" she said.

"Exceptionally bad taste," Angel said, shaking his head in a dramatic fashion.  "Wonder what the meeting is about.  Ah well, I'll just ask mum after it's over."

...

"So let me get this straight," Angel said, taking a sip of beer, "the Pegasi of Ponyville have to fly around and around really fast."  Fluttershy nodded.  "Creating a tornado."  She nodded again.  "That will then suck the water right out of the reservoir and into Cloudsdale?"  She nodded a third time.  "And this year Rainbow Dash is bent on breaking the wing power record?"

"That's right," Fluttershy said, no trace of emotion in her voice.

"...Cool!" Angel exclaimed.  "I cannot wait to see that happen, when does practice start?"

"I'm sure it already has," Fluttershy replied.

"...You're not going to participate, are you?" Angel replied, phrasing his question more like a statement.

"I can't..."

"What?"  Angel asked, confused.  "Of course you can!  You're a Pegasus!  There is literally one requirement for participation, and you meet it!  Those wings of yours are your ticket to being part of a record breaking historical event, now let's get out there and train!  Well, you'll train, I'll be drinking as per usual, but will be cheering you on regardless."

"Angel, you know it's not that simple," Fluttershy said.

"Well no, if you let irrational fears get in the way, I suppose it isn't."

"You know how I get in front of crowds, and this... this is like a performance."

"Mum, remember when you started seeing me for what I was?  When you were freaking out about it, thinking you had gone crazy?"

"Yes," Fluttershy said, raising an eyebrow.

"I told you everything was going to be fine, and that you shouldn't worry."

"And two days later my friends and I were attacked by an angry dragon that you talked me into yelling at."

"And you faced your fear, chased off the dragon, and made that chest pounding Rainbow Dash look like a complete tool for doubting you!"

"And your point is that all I have to do is face my fears again, and everything will turn out alright.  Is that where you're going with this?"

"Well I was gonna say just visualize the other Pegasi as rainbow-colored dragons in their underwear, but that works too."

"And this is what will actually happen," Fluttershy began.  "My measly wing power will be outclassed by every other Pegasus on the training grounds, and that's assuming my wings don't lock up from nerves like they always do.  No matter what happens, I'll just get laughed at and made fun of, just like at Flight Camp!"

"Oh come on," Angel replied, "that... might not happen!  You won't know unless you try!"

"I do know!"

"Okay, look, the other day, in the woods, the local rabbits had a dance contest.  Now you know me, I can't dance for beans, and I was nervous, sure, but there were some fine lady rabbits there, and I wanted to impress 'em, so I faced my fear, sucked in my gut, and busted a move for all to see.  I came in last place, but I still did it!"

"So that's why you spent two straight days confining yourself to the closet and listening to depressing music while yelling about being a peacock who lost his strut," Fluttershy said.  "I was really worried about you!"

"Not the point of the story, mum!" Angel said, embarrassed.  The conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Fluttershy," Rainbow Dash shouted through the door, "I know you're in there!"  Fluttershy gasped and quickly flew up the stairs into her bedroom, coming back down moments later wearing a robe and covered in red dots.

"Crickey, don't tell me you're gonna feign illness to get out of this.  Are we back in grade school?" Angel asked.

"Achoo!" Fluttershy exclaimed, opening the door.  "Hi, Rainbow Dash."  She then forced a few weak coughs.

"When have you ever heard a sick person actually say 'Achoo'?" Angel said as Rainbow Dash inquired about Fluttershy's condition.  "It's an onomatopoeia.  Last month when Rainbow Dash broke her wing hitting the ground after royally screwing up some new trick, she didn't yell 'CRASH!', now did she?  Actually, I'd imagine she uttered more of a pained grunt followed by a lot of whimpering..."

"Cold water!" Rainbow Dash shouted, having dumped a bucket of the aforementioned substance over Fluttershy's head, both drenching her and washing away the hand-drawn red dots.  "Those Pony Pox are clearing right up!"

"Oh, you know, all of a sudden, I'm starting to feel better!" Fluttershy said to Rainbow Dash.

"Well, this got awkward.  I'll just take my leave," Angel declared as he hopped out of the room, leaving the two Pegasi to discuss Fluttershy's performance anxiety.

...

"I'm glad mum decided to help with the tornado thing after all.  This whole mess was getting a bit ridiculous," Angel said as he relaxed under a tree.  The squirrel he was hanging out with chirped in response.  "Why?  Well, take her fear of dragons, for instance.  That's something I can wrap my brain around.  Fear of being seen by others?  Which basically translates to fear of nothing?  At a certain point you've gotta realize your fears have no basis in reality and just get over them, y'know?"  Two more chirps followed.  "What do you mean she 'can't just get over them'?  What kind of nonsense is that?  Of course she can!  She's just gotta look nothing right in the eye and say 'I'm done being afraid of you because you're nothing'!  It's that simple."  Another chirp followed.  "I am not being obtuse."

Angel turned his attention away from the squirrel as he noticed his master off in the distance.  "Oh great," he said, frustration apparent in his voice, "she must have ducked out early.  Honestly, what am I going to do with-" he stopped mid-sentence when he noticed the tears streaming down her face, and a look of terror and sadness in her eyes that he had never seen before.  She didn't even look at him as she collapsed onto the grass by the tree and began to sob loudly.  "...mum?" he asked softly, running to her side to find out what was wrong.  As she explained how her wing power had registered at less than one and continued to cry, Angel slowly began to feel that he had, indeed, taken her fear too lightly.  He knew he had to do something.

...

"Alright!" Angel shouted before blowing his whistle.  "Let's do this!"  Fluttershy took to the air, a look of cautious determination adorning her face, as she began to fly over a group of her animal friends.

"Masks on!" Angel shouted.  The animals complied, pulling out small pony masks and holding them over their faces.  Fluttershy covered her eyes and crashed into a tree.  "Sorry mum," Angel said, "but this is the best way to get you over your fear.  We need to simulate the experience so you can overcome it."  She nodded meekly in response.  It went on like that, with Fluttershy performing numerous exercises under the watchful eye of a crowd of pony-impersonating critters.  Pushups, butterfly tug-of-war, and dandelion fly-overs all revealed slow, but steady progress, as each attempt resulted in a marginal increase in success.  By the end, Fluttershy was doing repeated pushup reps while literally sucking the tears back into her eyes, slinging butterflies into trees, and stripping entire dandelion fields bare with a single swoop.

"Outstanding!" Angel cheered, waving his hooves in the air.  As Fluttershy landed on the ground next to him, she nodded happily.  "Nothing else to it," Angel said, "you're ready.  Let's go show those Pegasi what real wing power is!"

...

The squirrel chattered wildly at Twilight.  "What did he say?" Spike asked.

"Do I look like I speak squirrel?" Twilight replied.

"What's that?" Spike asked, staring into the distance.  All eyes turned towards the setting sun as a single winged silhouette surrounded by a posse of woodland creatures authoritatively approached the group.

"That's right, bitches!" Angel shouted as the Pegasi stepped back to clear a path to the starting line for the anemometer test.  "Make some room!  The champ has arrived!"  Fluttershy took her place at the starting line and began to rapidly flap her wings.  Taking off with all her might, she breezed passed the anemometer, causing it to spin wildly.  Everyone stared intensely at the gauge, only to find that she had registered a mere two-point-three.

"Mum," Angel said, "before you let yourself get discouraged, keep in mind that the training we did today was meant to help you perform in front of a crowd.  You were able to do that, so you'll be able to train with the other Pegasi now.  We accomplished exactly what we set out to do."  But it was too late, Fluttershy's resolve was crushed, and despite Rainbow Dash's attempts to lift her spirits, any desire she had to participate in the event was gone.  She flew away from the crowd, with Angel hopping after her.

...

"They'll be starting soon," Angel said to Hummingway the following day.  "And I'm not gonna lie, I'm worried about mum.  She hasn't been herself since this whole business started."  Hummingway chirped sadly.  "Yeah, she's been rather quiet, spent most of her time up in her bedroom.  It's like she lost something more than just her nerve.  I hate seeing her like this."  Hummnigway chirped in response.  "Yeah, you know, that's not a bad idea!  I'll go tell her right now."  He bumped his fist softly against Hummingway's wing and ascended the staircase, gently nudging Fluttershy's bedroom door opened.  "Mum?" he said.

"Need something, Angel?" Fluttershy replied, laying in the bed.

"Well, I was thinking," Angel said, "even if you aren't going to help with the tornado, it might not be a bad idea to head over there anyway and offer Rainbow Dash our moral support.  I mean, I still think she's kind of a tool, but this is a pretty big deal, what your friend is trying to do, and she'd probably love to see you there."  Surprisingly, or perhaps simply due to the fact that it offered her a means of helping without taking any risks, Fluttershy agreed with this and they set out.

...

"Check that out!" Angel said excitedly, pointing at the towering pillar that was the tornado, visible in the distance.  "Not quite as intimidating as I'd expect a record breaking tornado to be, but then I'm no tornado expert."

"You don't have to make small talk, Angel," Fluttershy replied.  "I know I'll still be letting them down by not participating."

"Uh," Angel replied nervously, "check out that giant-ass horn!  And there's Twilight and Spanky!"

"Spike," Fluttershy corrected him, looking annoyed.

"Agree to disagree!" Angel replied, trying to play up his enthusiasm to cheer her up.  "In any case, we should go say hi!"

"Twilight!" Fluttershy called out as the force of wind from the tornado began to push her back.

"Fluttershy?" Twilight called back, shouting over the rushing wind.  "What are you doing here?"

"I figured, if I couldn't help Rainbow Dash with the tornado, the least I could do was offer moral support!"

"She could sure use it, considering eight Pegasi are sick with the feather flu!"

"Oh no!"  Fluttershy shouted in response.  "That's terrible news!"

"So much for the record," Angel shouted, crawling against the wind to his master's side.  "Guess they're still set on getting the water up to Clousdale, though!"  As he said this, the tornado's shape grew unstable, and Pegasi were being hurled from it in all directions.  In a matter of moments, the swirling vortex had completely dissipated, and the massive stream of water that had been making it's way to the sky collapsed back into the reservoir.

"So close," Angel said, nodding his head in disappointment.  "Ah well, they gave it their all, but they were understaffed anyway, so I doubt anyone'll think any less of 'em.  Hey, is that one of the Wonderbolts over there?"

"You should quit, it's not safe!" Twilight insisted as Rainbow Dash expressed her desire to make another attempt.

"Yeah, I'd hate to agree with the know-it-all, but somepony could have been killed just now," Angel said, obviously being heard by nobody but Fluttershy.

"No!" Rainbow Dash shouted.  "One more time! I've gotta know we gave it our all! If I'm going down, I'm going down flying! C'mon, ponies, let's make this happen!"

"I'll always remember your courage," Angel said, tearful and resolute, "and will try my hardest to forget the undignified way in which you're surely about to meet your end!"  Fluttershy shot him a disapproving look as the other Pegasi cheered.  Spike blew into the large wooden horn that was nearby, and the tornado was formed again.

"Okay, here we go," Twilight yelled over the storm, focusing on the giant anemometer.  "One hundred wing power! Two hundred!  Five hundred!  Seven hundred!  Seven hundred and fifty wing power!"  The force of the wind sent Fluttershy and Angel crashing into Spike, pinning him against the side of the anemometer.

"They fell apart right after this!" he shouted, slightly impressing Angel with his tolerance for pain.

"Guess he is kind of a tough little dragon," Angel thought to himself.

"Oh, I'm too nervous to look!" Fluttershy shouted, covering her eyes with her hooves.

"Seven ninety five!" Twilight called out.  "We are so close!  Fluttershy, they need you up there!"

"She's right, mum," Angel shouted, "you're their only hope!"

"I won't make a difference!" Fluttershy shouted back at them both.

"You can make a difference!" Twilight and Angel replied in unison.

"My measly two-point-three wing power is still too little!"

"It's sticking at seven ninety five!" Spike yelped.  "I don't know if they've got any more in 'em!"

"You know they need you!" Angel yelled.

"I can't..." Fluttershy said so softly that only Angel could hear her, "I'm not strong enough."

"Hogwash," the old man replied.  "Your mother wasn't physically strong, and just look at what she accomplished."  Angel's ears tensed up as he thought he heard the elderly voice from his dream, faintly over the sound of the rushing wind.

"I don't know how to help her this time," he thought to himself, sadly.

"I'm not gonna sugar coat things for you now.  Your pop's gone, and I won't be around forever, so you gotta be strong!"

"And why in the hell am I hearing voices at a time like this!?" he shouted, causing Fluttershy to give him a worried look.

"Your mother was still recovering, and she was by herself, and she dove in after ya,"

"Strength of will..." he remembered.  "If I know she can do it, if I truly believe that, then I need to do whatever it takes to show her."  He came to a decision.  "I must be out of my bloody mind!"

"Angel?  Are you all right?" Fluttershy shouted over the gusts of wind.

"Surrounded by the chaos,"  Angel, with all his strength, leapt to the ground and began to crawl forward, ignoring the torrent of wind and water that tried to push him back.

"Angel!?" Fluttershy screamed in alarm.  "What are you doing!?"

"On the precipice of death,"  The closer he got to the storm, the more he began to feel himself drawn into it.  A sense of dread, of fear for his very life, began to overtake him.

"With nopony around to help her,"  He shoved those fears deep inside of himself, embracing his isolation, the knowledge that he was the only one who knew how to fix this.

"She threw herself into the storm so that you could have a future."  With one final hop, Angel took to the air, and was sucked into the tornado as Fluttershy screamed in horror.  Having found his own strength at long last, he left the rest to his master, whom he hoped would be able to save him.  He felt weightless, and completely disoriented, having lost his sense of direction.  He felt as though the very air was being sucked from his lungs, and his body ached as though it was being ripped apart.

"She did a hell of a lot more than your father and I could have, and I'm not ashamed to admit it,"  Angel heard the old man's voice one final time as everything around him grew silent.  "And he and I both knew, even then, that you had her strength of will.  That's why he chose your name the way he did, when the fishermen that rescued us first noticed the wreckage.  What they thought they saw, that became your name.  He wanted the memory of your mother's sacrifice to be with you always, Drifting Wood!"

Angel gasped as he was forcefully snatched up by a pair of hooves that wrapped themselves around his chest.  He didn't even have to look to know that his mother had caught him.  For her part, Fluttershy had a look of cautious relief on her face, her eyes watering beneath their goggles.  Angel still didn't understand the influence Pegasi had on the weather, but in her grip, his pain was gone, and he could breath more easily.  It was as if the wind was steadying itself around them.

"I knew you could do it!" Angel shouted triumphantly.  "Now bring it home and get that water into the sky!"

"You got it!" Fluttershy shouted.  Both Fluttershy's and Angel's faces became affixed with a look of cocky determination, and Angel stuck his hooves forward as Fluttershy began to pick up speed.

"Almost there!" Angel shouted, noting the height that the rising pillar of water had reached.  "Have you reached your limit!?"

"No!" Fluttershy shrieked at the top of her lungs, as she bolted forward with a renewed burst of speed that astounded the other Pegasi in the fray.  That did it, and the water exploded out of the top of the tornado and up to Cloudsdale.

"Found your strength at last, did ya?" Angel thought as he smiled and closed his eyes.

...

"I'm sorry I scared you," Angel said apologetically.  After the evening's celebrations, the two of them had claimed their familiar spots on Fluttershy's couch, beer in hoof.

"Yes, please don't ever do anything like that ever again.  Ever!" Fluttershy replied urgently.

"Alright, alright, I promise," Angel replied.  "Still, you have to admit, I looked pretty cool out there, sticking my arms out like I was some kind of super hero."

"And I didn't look cool?" Fluttershy asked, grinning and raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, you played your part, to be sure, but I mean, come on, you're a Pegasus!  When a Pegasus bitch-slaps the weather, that's expected.  I'm a rabbit, and I survived the bowels of a raging tornado!"

"Well I hope you enjoyed it," Fluttershy said, "because I'm never letting you out of the cottage when it's storming ever again."

"...Are you grounding me?"

"In a word?  Yes."

"Weak!"  They laughed together and took another swig of their drinks.

A Ponyville Wedding

A hoof connected to a jaw bone, the sound of the impact echoing through the town.  Drifting Wood was sent reeling, but was able to regain his footing.  "What the hell is your problem, old man!?"

"My problem!?" Cranky Doodle Donkey replied.  "You tried to pawn my scrapbook!"

"I did that to help you!"

"Help me!?"  Cranky shouted incredulously.  "That book is all I have to remember her by!"

"Exactly!"  Drifting Wood exclaimed in response.  "You're obsessed with her, mate!  You've wasted the best years of your life searching for somepony that could be dead for all you know!  I was trying to help you move on by removing it from your sight!"

"Yeah, you're a regular saint, aren't ya?" Cranky replied.  "I'm sure that's exactly why you tried to sell it!  I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that journalists always pay a good price for memorabilia from past Grand Galloping Galas, and I'm even more sure it has nothing to do with the valuable keepsakes collected from the places I've been being stored in it."

"Okay well when you put it that way I sound like an asshole, but-"

"When you tried to do it, you looked like one."

"Okay, well, apparently you're not ready to let go of her yet, so I'll drop the subject for now.  Bygones?"

"Are you kiddin' me?  After what you just pulled, I never want to see your ugly mug again!"

"What?" Drifting Wood asked, genuinely surprised.  "What are you talking about?"

"Exactly what I said.  You and me are done.  I'm going west, and unless you want another hoof in the face, you'll get your keester headed east and never cross my path again."

"So that's it then?" Drifting Wood said, becoming angry.  "After everything we've been through together, you're just gonna write me off?  I saved your life!"

"Yeah, you vouched for me in front of some angry buffalo and saved my life!  And I tried to save yours," Cranky replied, "but no matter how many times I lecture you, you just keep goin' down that slippery slope.  And this?  Coming after the most important thing in the world to me?  Let's just say that was the straw that broke this donkey's back.  You're settin' yourself up for a bad end, kid, and I don't wanna be around to see it."

"Cranky..." Drifting tried to appeal.

"I really did think there was somethin' special about you, Drift.  Thought of you as the son I never had, trouble and all.  But you're absolutely bent on alienating everypony around you, drivin' those of us who care about you away.  Well today, you succeeded.  Congratulations, now leave me alone."  Cranky turned away from Drifting Wood and walked away.

"Yeah?" Drifting Wood said, trying to hold back his tears.  "Well screw you!  You're gonna die a miserable, lonely, old jackass with no one around to mourn you, and that includes me!  I tried to save you from that, so you just keep that in mind when you're wishing later in life that you'd moved on!  I'm gonna be just fine!"  He stormed off angrily, a feeling of misery in his heart more severe than he had ever known before.

Within two months he had hit rock bottom, being run out of towns left and right for various cases of petty theft and assault.  Soon enough, his greatest goal in the day to day drifting that he called his life was to never allow himself to sober up.  That behavior continued on for a few weeks, before Drifting Wood was eaten by timber wolves.  His legacy would live on in the form of cautionary tales aimed at young foals regarding the dangers of stealing, and even more prominently in the form of drinking songs sung in taverns.  No one knew his real name, so they all referred to him as Wolfchow the Scoundrel.  During the remainder of his travels, Cranky had heard those songs as well, but having an inkling as to whom they were about, he always declined to sing along, instead looking down at his mug and sighing in defeat.

...

"Thanks for keeping me company today, O-Licious," Angel said to Twilight's pet owl.

"Hoo!" said Owlowiscious.

"What do you mean nobody calls you O-Licious?  I call you O-Licious!" Angel replied indignantly.  They continued on their path through town.  Another hoot followed.  "There's going to be a wedding tomorrow, and I'd like to be there, wanna make sure I have the address right today."

"Hoo?"

"Royal wedding?" Angel asked.  "Oh, you mean that business up at Canterlot that our mums went to.  Nah, the wedding I'm talking about is right here in Ponyville, and it's much more important."  He stuck his hoof out, gesturing for them to stop.  There was a house nearby, next to which preparations were being made for a ceremony.  The Cakes were setting up decorations and would undoubtedly be wheeling in pastries the following day.  The mayor was there as well, rehearsing the process with the bride and groom.

"Hoo?"

"Groom's name is Cranky Doodle Donkey, bride is Matilda," Angel replied.  "Cranky's... I guess you could say he's an old friend.  I didn't even realize he was living in Ponyville until I heard Pinkie Pie tell mum how upset she was that she couldn't be his best mare like he had asked her to."

"Hoo?"

"It's complicated," Angel replied quickly.  "Like I said, he's an old acquaintance."

"Hoo."

"Right, I did say friend, didn't I?"

"Hoo-hoo!"

"I'm not hiding anything, stop with the third degree already!"

"Hoo!"

"Don't!" Angel said, backing away.  "You know I don't like it when you go all predatory, nobody likes that game but you!"  Owlowiscious began to aggressively chase Angel around the area as though he were hunting him.

...

"I still can't believe you didn't invite a single guest of your own, Doodle," Matilda said.

"Well, it's like I told ya," Cranky replied, "all of my old buddies are scattered all over Equestria, and most of 'em are too old to make a trip out here.  The ones that are still alive, anyhow."

"You never did tell me about this one," Matilda said, thumbing through Cranky's damaged scrap book, stopping on the page that had a receipt from a diner for two meals and a free ice cream sundae taped to it.  "All you said was 'He's dead now,'."

"Doesn't matter," Cranky replied, gently taking the scrapbook away from her and nuzzling her cheek, "we'll have plenty of guests with just your Ponyville friends, anyhow."

"Shame about Pinkie not being able to make it."

"Well, she had already committed to that wedding up in Canterlot first, and I firmly believe that if I had been the one she said yes to first, she would have turned down the other thing."

"Probably, knowing her," Matilda replied.

...

"Looks like I made it just in time!" Angel said, panting heavily as he came to a stop on the outskirts of the Donkeys' property, just out of sight from the guests.

"Mares and gentlecolts," the mayor began, presiding over the ceremony, "we are gathered here to celebrate the union of Cranky Doodle Donkey and Matilda Brayworth.  The strength of their commitment is clear. The power of their love, undeniable.  May we please have the ri-"  The mayor was cut off by several screams among the guests.

"What's that in the sky!?" someone shouted.  All eyes turned upward to behold a swarm of pony-sized insect-looking creatures covered with small holes flying down towards them.  One by one they began slamming into the ground, leaving craters beneath their feet and eyeing the Ponyvillians hungrily.  From their jagged horns came green bursts of magic energy, visibly draining the strength of any targets they hit.

"Doodle!" Matilda called out, as a Changeling approached her, charging up another magical attack.

"Oh no ya don't" Cranky shouted, bucking the creature and knocking it unconscious.  "Come on, we gotta find someplace safe!"

"Crap," Angel said as he watched the two donkeys begin to flee, a pack of Changelings in hot pursuit.  Angel quickly ran after them, passing them up and getting in front of them.  "Follow me!" he shouted, waving his hoof.

"Is that rabbit trying to tell us to follow him?" Cranky asked.

"I think so," Matilda replied, panting.

"Well, not like I've got a better idea," Cranky said as they galloped forward with renewed vigor.

"That's right, just keep up with me, and everything will be fine, mate!" Angel shouted, knowing that no one could hear him.  The Changelings that flew after them in pursuit continued with their attacks, and Angel noted how spry Cranky and Matilda were.  At last, they came within sight of the Everfree Forest.

"Look at where he's leading us!" Matilda shouted.

"Maybe we actually can lose 'em in there," Cranky replied.  Into the forest they ran, unaware that the Changelings had anticipated this and began to spread out.  After a few seconds of running between trees, Cranky and Matilda found themselves completely surrounded.  "So much for losin' 'em," Cranky said.  "Dumb rabbit."

Suddenly, a bright flash illuminated the dark forest, causing everyone around to cover their eyes.  Cranky looked at the rabbit again, and couldn't believe what he saw.  In its place stood Drifting Wood, looking as though he had strutted right out of the donkey's memory back into the world of the living.  He looked far more unkempt than the last time Cranky had seen him, but he didn't appear to have aged in the years since they had last seen one another.

"...How is this possible?" Cranky asked.

"Explanation's gonna have to wait a bit, mate," Drifting replied.  "As for you," he said, turning to the Changelings, "what's that you're holding in your hoof?"

"What are you talking about?" a Changeling replied, confused but undaunted.  "I'm not holding anything!"

"You don't say?" Drifting Wood replied.  "'Cause from here, it looks like you're holding the short straw."  Before the Changeling could respond, the force of a powerful kick knocked him through a grand total of three trees.  As the trees fell, the other Changelings looked from their fallen comrade back to Drifting Wood, their jaws practically touching the ground.

"Yeah, that just happened," Drifting said, as though he had already guessed the question on their minds.  "I'd say you should run, but let's be honest, you're not nearly fast enough."  In spite of his warning, the Changelings did, indeed, attempt to take to the skies, but with Drifting's incredible speed, he was able to dispatch them all before they got out of jumping distance from him.  "Hey, Cranky," Drifting said, turning to face the stunned donkey.

"...Yeah?"

"Zecora's hut isn't far from here, do me a favor and go borrow some rope from her.  We need to tie these blokes up before they regain consciousness."

"I'll do it," Matilda said.  "Something tells me you two know each other, so I'll let you catch up.  Thank you for saving us, whoever you are."

"Name's Drifting Wood," he replied, "and it's an honor to meet you, Matilda."  She nodded and left for Zecora's hut.

"You need a shave, kid," Cranky said, walking over to Drifting's side.

"That's what you're gonna lead off with?" Drifting replied, skeptically.

"I'd heard you were dead," Cranky said, a touch of frustration and sadness in his voice.  "Why didn't you come find me?"

"You told me never to go near you again, and you punched me," Drifting replied.  "What was I supposed to do?"

"Ignore me, like you always did," Cranky said.  "I was stompin' mad that you tried to pawn that book, don't get me wrong, but it's not like I could have stayed mad at you forever."

"Sure seemed like you could have."

"More'n anything else I was looking for a little honesty from you.  So I'll ask you again, why did you try to pawn my scrapbook?"

"For the money," Drifting replied, sadly.  "I'm through lying to people.  I told myself I'd be doing you a favor so I wouldn't feel as guilty, but yes, I did it for the money."

"I know you did," Cranky replied.

"I'm sorry."

"I forgive ya, kid," Cranky replied.  "It's not like things didn't work out for the best anyhow."

"Yeah, finally found her, eh?  I'm glad."

"Somethin' about you has changed.  I don't feel like I need to watch my pockets when I'm around ya now."

"Well, old habits die hard, but this is a serious moment, I wouldn't ruin it by picking your pocket," Drifting Wood grinned.

"Now onto my next question," Cranky said.  "What in the heck was all of that!?  You moved so darned fast my eyes couldn't keep up with ya, and am I going senile, or were you a rabbit five second ago!?"

"I could give you the long version," Drifting replied, "but it would make about as much sense as the short version.  Might be hard to believe though."

"After what I just saw?  I doubt it."

"Well then, what you heard about me dying, that was true.  I was eaten by Timber Wolves, but because I sacrificed myself for a little filly, I was reborn as a rabbit, and now I'm supposed to watch over the grown up version of the aforementioned filly and protect the Everfree Forest from an assortment of horrible creatures.  And I guess I have super powers, too."

"You're right," Cranky replied, "in the grand scheme of things it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but it does explain everything I just saw you do."

"I'm back!" Matilda declared, being followed closely by Zecora, who was carrying a rather large amount of rope.

"Wise to lead them here, Guardian," Zecora said, "now please tell me there's more to your plan!"

"'Course there's more to his plan," Cranky said.  "He's gonna trot back into town and curbstomp some bugs!"

"Yeah, see, the problem with that is I can only do this stuff inside the forest.  We'd have to make the Changelings come here." Drifting Wood explained.

"Well then, that is a problem," Cranky replied.  "Zecora, I don't suppose you've got some Changeling bait, do you?"

"I have many things, from large to meek, and I happen to have the bait you seek!"

"Really?" Cranky asked excitedly.

"No, there's no such thing," Zecora replied flatly.

"Look, I'm just tryin' to come up with a plan," Cranky replied.  "What are they even here for?"

"The Changelings come out when they need food, and anything less than the power of love simply will not do."

"I've heard that," Matilda said.  "They feed off of the love between ponies."

"Well, that's somethin'," Cranky said.  "So how do we use that?"

"I... might have an idea," Drifting Wood said, "but none of us is going to like it."

...

"Oh, this is completely asinine," Cranky said angrily, reading over a piece of paper.

"Just suck it up and read your lines," Drifting Wood said.

"Where'd you even come up with this drivel?"

"A couple of ponies in town drank a love poison a while back.  They said some... things to one another.  These are some of them." Drifting explained.

"Is this really going to work?  It sounds so... forced," Matilda said.

"The emotion behind this little schtick will make certain these words do the trick," Zecora replied, grimacing at Matlida's lines.

"Yeah, now make with the lovey-dovey bullshit!" Drifting commanded.

Cranky and Matilda faced one another.  "You're my... shmoopy-doopy... sweetie-weetie... screw it, let 'em take Ponyville!" Cranky said, tossing the paper aside.

"Doodle," Matilda commanded, authoritatively, "I want you too look me in the eye, and put all of your love for me into your voice, just as I'm going to do for you.  If we don't do this, our wedding will be ruined, and our friends will all become Changeling food."

"Son of a... fine!" Cranky said, glancing down at his lines.

...

"Alright, it's taken us an hour to rehearse, and Ponyville's probably conquered by now," Drifting Wood said.

"That may actually be good for us.  If we are the only prey left, they'll kick up more of a fuss," Zecora replied.

"Let's just get this over with," Cranky said, sounding more calm now.

"I'll start us off," Matilda said, clearing her throat.  "You're my shmoopy-doopy sweetie-weetie, pony pie!"

"You're my shmoopy-doopy sweetie-weetie pony pie..." Cranky appeared as though he were dying.

"You're my cutie-patootie, lovie-dovie, honey-bunny!" Matilda replied, playing up her inflection.

"I'm going to vomit," Drifting Wood muttered to Zecora, who simply nodded solemnly.

"You're my heartie-smartie, smoochie-woochie, baby- you know what?  No!" Cranky stopped, leaning in and kissing Matilda.  "There," he shouted, pulling back, "Matilda and I love one another!"  He began shouting.  "Ya hear that, you love-sucking bastards!?  Come and get us!"  Sure enough, the horizon grew dark as countless Changelings began to swoop in for their prey.

"Crickey, that's a lot of 'em," Drifting said, nervously.  "You three better find some cover, this is gonna get ugly!"

"Nothin' doin', kid," Cranky said, cracking his hooves.  "It's been too long since you and me have been in a proper brawl, I'm anxious to see if I've still got it!"

"Well look at you," Drifting said, impressed, as the Changelings grew closer.  "Alright then, just don't break a hip, old man!"

"I'm marrying an idiot," Matilda sighed as she and Zecora prepared to fight as well.

"This is it!" Drifting shouted, as the first Changeling came within striking distance.  Suddenly, a giant wall of transparent pink energy came tearing through the forest.  Though it passed over Drifting and his companions without harming them, the Changelings were all blasted away at the same time, shrieking as they were sent hurtling off into the distance.  The four would-be combatants stared silently at one another for a few seconds, before Cranky broke the silence.  "Are... you... *KIDDING ME!?***"

...

"So once you leave the forest, that's it?" Cranky asked, as he and Drifting Wood sat upon a hill, Zecora and Matilda waiting for them at the bottom.

"'Fraid so, mate.  Ninety-nine-point-nine percent of my existence occurs in the form of a rabbit."

"Guess that rules out bein' drinkin' buddies."

"Only if you don't want to be seen getting shitfaced with a bunny rabbit.  Ah, but then, I also don't want mum finding out the truth about me."

"How come?"

"Because it would change the nature of our relationship.  I'm beginning to suspect that these 'memory dreams' I've been having were my subconscious trying to show me where I had gone wrong, so that I could make amends with you.  They started right after you moved here, after all.  Still. aside from a few key points, most of the memories of my past life are still gone.  For all intents and purposes, I am Angel."

"Guess that's what I'll call you from now on, then," Cranky replied sadly.  "You'll be at the wedding tomorrow, though, right?"

'You can count on it," Drifting said, smiling.

"I sure am gonna miss ya, kid," Cranky replied sincerely.  "Maybe I'll name my first born daughter after you."

Brief Moments From the First Two Years

The Ticket Master

"Yoink!" Angel shouted, swiping the golden pieces of paper from Spike and hopping towards Fluttershy.  "Hey, mum!"  He lifted the tickets up towards her.  "They're shiny!  Shiny's good, right?  Didn't you say you liked shiny?"

"These are perfect!" Fluttershy exclaimed.

"I think the leather bag I swiped 'em from is coming back, so here's my plan:  you distract him with your soothing voice while I grab a very large rock..."

...

"Fluttershy, not you too?" Twilight asked as Fluttershy and her animal friends cleaned the library.

"Oh, well, hello Twilight!  I hope you don't mind, but we're all doing a little spring cleaning for you.  It was Angel's idea!"

"Yep, and now your giant book fort is clean enough to eat your tv dinners-for-one off of!" Angel added enthusiastically.

"You're not doing this for the ticket, are you?" Twilight asked, raising her brow.

"Oh no, I'm doing this because you're my very best friend. Right Angel?"

"Hold up now," Angel replied, gesturing for her to stop with his hoof.  "Don't go backing yourself into a corner, here.  The lady lives in a tree and owns at least one slave.  You don't wanna get caught up in her hangups.  It's all about the ticket."

"Oh," Fluttershy nodded awkwardly,  "yes, we are just doing this for the ticket."

The Return of Harmony

"Giant apples are the SHIT!" Angel shouted, elongating the "I" sound as he gorged himself on the aforementioned bulbous apples against Applejack's wishes.

"Now, Angel, you really shouldn't–" Fluttershy was interrupted as Angel's legs grew to ridiculous proportions and took on the appearance of deer's feet.

"This looks promising..." Angel said, observing his modified extremities.

"No!  It's not possible!  I must be seeing things!" Fluttershy shouted in a panic.

"Small rodent brethren!" Angel called out to his fellow rabbits, all of whom had the same legs he did.  He cupped his hoof over his mouth, muffling his speech slightly.  "The time to stampede and devour has come!  We take Ponyville from the corrupt! The rich! The oppressors of generations who have kept you down with myths of carrots and lettuce, and we give it to you, the rabbits!"  He opened his arms up to his listeners.

"Ponyville is yours!  None shall interfere, do as you please!  But start by storming Sweet Apple Acres and eating all this giant fruit!"  He pointed his hoof towards the trees.  "Step forward, those who would eat, for an army will be raised!  The juicy will be ripped from their trees, and cast into the warm bellies that we know and endure!  Courts will be convened!  Spoils will be enjoyed!  Blood will be shed!"  He paused and thought for a moment.  "Actually, forget those last three things I said, this is mostly about the giant fruit."

...

Twilight Sparkle gave a yelp as she was trampled into the ground by the rabbits.  "I was wondering which would break first," Angel shouted.  "Your spirit, or your body!"

"Good boy, Angel!" Fluttershy declared.  "Mamma's so proud!"

"I will fulfill Discord's destiny!" Angel replied as he continued on his stampede.

May the Best Pet Win

"So listen, Tank, was it?" Angel asked.  The turtle nodded.  "I've been watching you today, and I have to say, your loyalty is impressive."  Tank slowly smiled.

"I mean, from what mum was saying, you only just met Rainbow Dash today and you were... drawn to her.  You didn't let anything stop you from competing for her attention, and you were there for her in her moment of need."  Tank looked at him quizzically.

"I'm just saying, it's not exactly common for an animal to have that sort of bond with a master they've just met, before she's even their master, and the circumstances seem familiar," Angel stopped as the turtle narrowed its gaze.

"Right, you're getting bored, sorry.  My point is... if anything changes... if you and Rainbow Dash start to see you as something... other than a turtle... Come and find me.  If you are what I think you are, then I'd like to help guide you."  Tank tilted his head.  "Don't worry, it'll make sense once you've spent enough time with your new mum."

Ponyville Confidential

"Hi, Angel!" Sweetie Bell said at the front door as Fluttershy sobbed inside her cottage.  "Is Fluttershy home?"

"PISS OFF!" Angel replied, slamming the door shut.

Before Angel - How They Met

"Interloper!" young Thunderhooves shouted as the buffalo closed in around Cranky Doodle Donkey.

"Take it easy, I don't want any trouble!" Cranky replied, shaking his head and backing away.

"You should have thought of that before you began poaching our tribe for fur!" Thunderhooves shot back, slamming his hoof against the ground.

"I don't know what you're talking about, honest!" Cranky protested loudly, sweating.  "I'm just trying to cross the desert!"

"You're the only non-buffalo we've seen in the past several days, aside from our honorary!" Thunderhooves retorted.  "And you are wandering our sacred stampeding grounds!  I refuse to believe that you just happened to be crossing this desert! Kill him!"  The buffalo began to close in around Cranky, who sank to the ground, bracing himself for the end.

"Hold it!" a voice called out among the crowd.  The buffalo ceased their attack, and turned.  Cranky looked up to see a stallion, yellow of coat and black of mane, navigating his way through the crowd.  He sported a brown, hooded cloak and had a large knife strapped to his side.  His cutie mark was a wooden log.

"You have something to say, No-Moss?" Thunderhooves asked.

"Listen, mate," No-Moss replied in an accent that Cranky didn't recognize, "I really don't think our poachers would just up and wander the desert in broad daylight where we could catch 'em, do you?"

"I suppose that would be incredibly stupid," Thunderhooves replied, nodding slowly.  "Still, this donkey is trespassing upon our sacred stampeding grounds, and he must answer for that!"

"Yeah, sure, obviously he needs to answer for that!" No-Moss said, feigning laughter.  "How dare he and so forth,"  No-Moss gently shook his hoof at Cranky, who stared back at the stallion wide-eyed.  "I'll guard him on the way back."

"Very well, back to camp, where the donkey will stand trial!" Thunderhooves shouted as they all took off.  "If you try to run, we will trample you into the dust!"  He glared back at Cranky, who gulped.

"Don't worry, mate," No-Moss replied, trotting alongside Cranky.  "You'll just get a slap on the wrist or something.  I'll plead your case and get you on your way.  I know how to talk to these guys."

"I appreciate that.  No-Moss, was it?"

"That's just the tribal name the buffalo gave me.  Name's Drifting Wood," the stallion replied.

"I'm Cranky," the donkey said, nodding.

"Name or current mood?" Drifting Wood asked, cocking his eyebrow.

"Both, actually."

***

"Guilty!" Thunderhooves' father, Chief Quickfoot declared, stomping his hooves repeatedly as the other buffalo reciprocated.

"In my defense," Drifting Wood said, turning to Cranky, "you didn't give me a whole lot to work with, mate.  Multiple eye-witnesses identified you as being at the scene of the crime."

"That's because I was there!" Cranky shouted, scowling.  "Everyone was there!  That part shouldn't have come as a surprise to ya!"

"See, that right there?  Admission of guilt.  That's the mistake you kept making on the stand," Drifting Wood replied, shaking his head.

"Oh for crying out loud," Cranky muttered, smacking his forehead, "are you some kinda idiot?"

"Well I was going to save your ass during appeals, but now you can forget it!"

"Okay, this is ridiculous.  Chief?" Cranky called out.  The Chief ceased his stomping and gave Cranky his attention.  "This is just a big misunderstanding.  I'm on a very important journey, I've been walking for days, and I got lost in the desert.  I'm sorry I trespassed, but please, don't punish me for a simple mistake!"

"Hmm," Quickfoot grunted, scratching his chin.  "You seem genuinely penitent.  Very well, I will offer a compromise.  You will do a favor for us, and in return, we will let you go"

"My client and I will have to deliberate," Drifting Wood interjected, attempting to lead Cranky off to the side.

"No we won't!" Cranky replied quickly, swatting Wood's arm away.  "Just tell me the details."

"Seeing as how you are non-buffalo, you just might be able to catch the poachers who have plagued our steps.  You will follow our herd from a distance beginning tomorrow morning and keep an eye on things.  Should you see any suspicious activity, you will investigate it, then report back to us."

"You'd trust me to do that?" Cranky asked.

"No-Moss will accompany you and make sure that you stay the course and complete your task," the Chief responded.  "Similar attempts by him alone have been unsuccessful, but with a second pair of eyes, perhaps we will be able to identify our culprit."

"What exactly's been happening?" Cranky asked, sitting down.

"We believe they track us during the day," the Chief began, "and at night, they kidnap our kin, two at a time, and..." the Chief began to shudder.

"And?" Cranky asked, leaning forward.

"And..." the Chief's lower lip began to shake as tears formed in his eyes.

"And what!?" Cranky asked, his eyes widening.

"They shave us!" a buffalo cried.  Cranky turned to look at the speaker and a short scream escaped his mouth.  Before him stood a completely hairless buffalo.  He sobbed into the bend of his elbow as a nearby friend patted his shoulder.

"Men, women, even children," the Chief added, shaking his bowed head, "they take them all, blindfolded, and de-fur them!  Then, they put them back the next morning, naked as the day they were born, except more so!"  He allowed a sniffle.  "Our Shaven are exposed to the elements of the desert!  The unforgiving sun, the bitter cold of the night, and most of us do not have the necessary funds to purchase the trendy coats and accessories required to fill the void that has been left behind!"  All eyes glared at one particular Shaven who was clad in a rather nice fleece hoodie and comfortable flannel pajama bottoms.

"These were a gift!" he whined, backing away and lowering his head.

"The whole situation sounds horrible," Cranky interrupted, nodding his head solemnly.  "It's also a little bit weird, but mostly horrible.  I would be honored to aid you in your attempt to catch the ones responsible!"

"Splendid!" Chief Quickfoot exclaimed, clapping his hooves together.  "Do this for us, Cranky Doodle Donkey, and you will not only be forgiven of your transgressions, but regarded as an honorary member of our tribe!"  The other buffalo stomped their hooves in agreement and began cheering his name.

"Told you I'd get you out of this," Drifting Wood said, nudging Cranky.

"Never become a lawyer," Cranky replied.  "Though I guess you did stop 'em from killing me on sight in the first place, so thanks for that, kid."

"All in a day's work," Drifting replied, rapidly raising and lowering his brow while grinning.

"A day's work, huh?" Cranky asked.  "We'll have one of those tomorrow while we play lookout."

"Yeah, about that," Drifting replied, "that's really more like two days' worth of work for me, so I'm gonna have to ask you to pay overtime.  And then, of course, there are my legal fees."

"Let's just get some shuteye and get this over with," Cranky sighed, walking away.

"Alright," Drifting Wood whispered, "new friend!"

***

"So here's how I think we should do this: you keep an eye on the right, and I'll keep an eye on the left," Cranky said the next day, as the Buffalo stampeded far ahead of them.  He took a deep breath and fanned his face with a hoof.  "Sure is hot out here, though.  At least they promised to run slow for me."

"Yeah, you're old and stuff," Drifting Wood replied, nodding, while staring off behind them.

"Our friends are that way," Cranky replied, jerking his head in the direction of the buffalo.

"Right, anyway, I've already got a plan," Drifting replied.

"A plan?" Cranky asked, tilting his head.  "Isn't the plan to keep an eye on the buffalo?"

"Better plan, follow me," Drifting replied, taking off before Cranky could respond.

"Now hold on," Cranky protested, sliding in front of Drifting Wood.  "They're gonna be suspicious if they turn around and can't see us."

"As long as you stick with me, it's all good," Drifting replied, sidestepping Cranky and continuing on.

"Fair enough," Cranky shrugged as he followed.  "And I've been meaning to ask you about that, how'd you wind up runnin' with this tribe?"

"A couple of weeks ago I crossed paths with Thunderhooves, the Chief's son, in Dodge Junction.  We met in the saloon.  After a few rounds on him and a couple of funny stories from yours truly, we stumbled out of that bar, pals for life.  Don't think he'd met any ponies before me, so he takes me back to his tribe, right?  Tells his pop he wants to make me an honorary member."

"Must have made quite an impression on him," Cranky replied, altering his path slightly to avoid a cactus.

"It's what I do," Drifting replied with a nod.  "So I stampede with them for a few days.  Hell of a workout by the way, my calves have never looked better. In the end, most of the buffalo aren't too fond of me, but my buddy's the chief's son, so next thing you know, I'm No-Moss, Honorary Tribesman."

"Rolling Stone would have sounded better," Cranky replied.

"Thank you, that's what I said!" Drifting Wood exclaimed as they began to approach a mountain.  "But it was taken.  Rolling Stone was the bloke wearing the hoody and pajamas."

"That really was a comfortable looking getup," Cranky said.

"I know, Rolling Stone's got mad connections.  I'm jealous!"

"So what's your story pre-buffalo?" Cranky asked, cocking his head.

"My story is like a nudie-bar, mate: sketchy, full of beautiful women, and something you're better off avoiding during the day," Drifting replied, before sticking his hoof out to stop Cranky as he came to a halt.  "We're here."  Cranky observed the small mountain they had stopped in front of, and the cave entrance directly in front of them.

"What's here?" Cranky asked, turning to Drifting Wood.

"Stick close to me," Drifting replied, "we're going in."  Cranky hesitated for a moment before following Drifting Wood into the dark cave, sticking close to the stallion while his vision slowly adjusted to the darkness that was creeping up around them.

"You gonna tell me what's in here?" Cranky whispered.

"Yeah, look, see?" Drifting replied, gesturing toward the literal light at the end of the tunnel.  They came upon a torch-lit cavern with an elevated ceiling and a shallow pool of water that was constantly being fed by the dripping condensation from the stalactites above it.  At the other end of the clearing stood three ponies.

Two were large and muscular, with matching coats of dark blue, shaved manes, and sunglasses covering their eyes.  One had a left boxing glove for a cutie mark, the other had a right boxing glove.  The third had a tan coat, a heavily gelled blonde mane, and he wore a cheap, striped suit.  His cutie mark was a depiction of his own head, the facial expression upon it frozen in a perpetual grin combined with half-open eyelids.

"What's with the donkey?" the suit-wearing pony asked as the other two stepped forward.

"Head Honcho, meet the newest addition to our crew, Cranky Doodle Donkey!" Drifting Wood replied, extending his hooves towards Cranky, who gasped as his eyes drifted to the back left corner of the cavern, upon which sat multiple piles of fur.

"You're the poachers!?" Cranky exclaimed, taking a step back.

"Woodsy," Honcho replied, "why is he acting like he doesn't know why he's here?"

"Well, he doesn't, yet," Drifting replied, gently shaking his head.

"You're working with them?" Cranky shouted, glaring at Drifting Wood.

"Woodsy, here, is good at making friends," Honcho replied before Drifting could speak.  "Boss says buffalo fur is a hot item for clothing right now, so we send our resident charming shyster in to get all cozy with said buffalo.  He keeps tabs on 'em, sun goes down, we harvest."

"Harvest!?" Cranky replied, his gaze rapidly shifting between the four ponies.  "That's sick!"

"It's not like we're skinning them or killing them or something," Drifting Wood replied, reaching out to Cranky.  "We shave them.  Fur grows back.  It's a victimless crime!"

"That is not a victimless crime!" Cranky shouted, staring Drifting Wood down.  "Those buffalo take you in, give you a name, treat you like one of their own, and that's how you repay 'em!?"

"It doesn't sound like he's gonna cooperate," Head Honcho replied.

"Look mate," Drifting Wood said, placing a hoof on Cranky's shoulder.  "You're in a tight spot here, I get that.  The buffalo were gonna kill ya, and you can't get back into their good graces by catching the culprit because, ya know, that's me.  So join up with us, we'll cut you in on the profits, the buffalo won't kill you.  Everyone wins, really."

"Except for the buffalo.  I absolutely refuse," Cranky grunted.

"He knows too much," Honcho replied.  "You know Van Richter's policy, dead men tell no tales."

"Which is a ridiculous way of phrasing it, by the way," Drifting replied, turning toward Honcho.  "He's a white-collar crime boss, not a bloody pirate."

"So it's either help you kidnap buffalo for their fur or die?" Cranky asked.  Head Honcho nodded.

"Sidebar!" Drifting shouted, pulling Cranky away.  "You're not really gonna die over buffalo hair, are you?"

"I'm not gonna help you poach 'em, no matter what you do to me," Cranky replied sternly.  "Maybe you had me figured for a chump when you vouched for me in front of Thunderhooves, but you were wrong."

"Look," Drifting whispered, leaning in close, "the reason I stood up for you in the first place is because I don't want to see anypony die.  This shaving thing?  It's trivial, it's good money, and it's not worth dying over.  Be smart about this, mate!"  Cranky seemed to consider this for a moment before nodding thoughtfully.  He turned back to Head Honcho, and delivered his answer.

"We passed by a cactus on the way here.  Why don't you go suck on it?" Cranky replied as Drifting Wood smacked his forehead.

"Uh-huh, that's real cute" Honcho replied, turning to his henchmen.  "Drown him."  They nodded, and began to approach Cranky.

"Cranky," Drifting Wood protested, "seriously, dude?  Come on!"

"No, you come on," Cranky snapped back, looking Drifting Wood in the eye.  "You said you didn't wanna see anypony die.  If that's true, you've got a choice to make, right here and now!  It ain't too late to make this right, kid."

"It's not that simple!" Drifting replied, shaking his head rigorously.  "Nopony double-crosses Van Richter and lives to see their next nationally recognized holiday!  My hooves are tied, here!"

"Woodsy knows how things work, you oughtta listen to him," Honcho agreed, nodding.  "Last chance to change your mind before Left Jab and Right Hook put you to bed."

"Bring it on, you four-legged gorillas!" Cranky shouted, turning away from Drifting Wood and facing his attackers.  "I may be old, but I've got plenty of fight left in me!"  Jab made his move first, closing in on Cranky, who spun around and kicked with all his might, destroying Jab's glasses and sending him stumbling backward with two bruising eye sockets.  Before he could celebrate his first strike, Hook punched him square on the button, dropping him.

Jab recovered, and the two thugs lifted the dazed donkey by the shoulders, dragging his struggling form to the pool.  "Wait, maybe there's some kind of compromise-" Drifting Wood began before Head Honcho silenced him with a glare.

"Too late for that," Honcho replied, shaking his head slowly, a scowl on his face, "he hurt one of my boys.  Dunk him!"  Cranky opened his eyes as his face was plunged into the water.  He fought with all his might, but couldn't free himself from their iron grip.  After a few moments, he felt his lungs begin to strain, and he knew he wouldn't be able to hold the shallow breath he had taken before going under for much longer.  He could faintly hear Drifting Wood's muffled voice gradually rise in volume.

"I guess this is it..." Cranky thought to himself.  "I'm sorry, Matilda..."   His vision began to darken.  His eyelids grew heavy.  Finally, he felt the burning sensation of the water crashing over his sinuses and into his lungs.  In his mind's eye, he beheld Matilda's youthful face one final time...

Suddenly, he was yanked upward, and thrown to the ground.  He coughed up some water, then caught his breath.  He looked up to see Drifting Wood standing between his captors and himself.  Hook was breathing heavily and clutching his throat.  Jab was writhing on the ground, hooves covering his groin as he wept openly.

"Have you gone crazy!?" Head Honcho shouted.

"Why not bring your delicate little neck and/or groin depending on the mood that strikes me over here and find out?" Drifting replied, baring his teeth.  "If you're gonna start killing ponies, you can forget about our arrangement, ya psychopath!"

"Couple of cheap shots and suddenly you think you're a tough guy?" Honcho replied, laughing.  Jab and Hook were already recovered from Drifting's sneak attack and ready for round two.

"I've always thought I'm a tough guy," Drifting replied while grinning.  He bent his neck downward, then jolted his head up into the air.  The knife he was carrying flew from its sheathe and rolled over in the air several times before coming to a stop firmly clenched between Drifting Wood's two rows of teeth.  The long, razor sharp blade gave a glare as it reflecting the torches that illuminated the cavern.

"Okay," Honcho replied, raising a hoof and taking a step away.  "I've seen you practice with that thing enough to know you'd gut us like fishes.  You can go, but keep in mind that we're gonna come after ya, and Van Richter ain't just gonna let this slide."  Drifting Wood uttered what Cranky assumed was a witty retort, but it was muffled by the knife in his mouth and nobody understood a word of it.

"What he said," Cranky added, coughing one final time and standing up, his gazed fixed on Honcho's growling face, unaware that nearby, Drifting Wood was scooping up multiple sacks of bits and tucking them into his own saddlebag.

***

"Will the buffalo be alright?" Cranky asked as they made their way through the desert, the sun dipping behind the distant mountains.

"Yeah," Drifting replied, "without me keeping tabs on 'em, Honcho can't do squat without getting caught.  They'll pack up and move on."

"Sounds like we've got a pair of targets on our backs now, eh?"

"Nah," Drifting replied.  "Van Richter lives in the Old Country, and his operators here in Equestria have Princess Celestia and the Royal Guard to contend with, so they keep their crimes non-violent and low-key.  Honcho was just blowing a lot of hot air."

"So what's next for you?" Cranky asked, lifting his head.

"Dunno," Drifting Wood replied, shaking his head.  "My calendar was pretty much blank before I teamed up with Honcho, and I'm not going back to the buffalo."

"Well, I'm searching for a long lost, dear friend," Cranky said, lowering his gaze.  "Been looking all over Equestria for her.  Could always use an extra pair of eyes."

"Are you asking me to travel with you?" Drifting Wood asked, raising his brow, eyes wide.  "After I nearly got you drowned?"

"You shaved buffalo, dragged me into the criminal underworld, and earned the hatred of a foreign kingpin.  I think you'll do a heck of a lot less damage if I'm keeping an eye on ya, kid," Cranky replied, smirking.

"Fair enough," Drifting replied, returning the expression.  "I know of some killer taverns around Equestria anyway, and I can keep up my own search as well!"

"Your search for what?" Cranky asked.

"Fortune, of course," Drifting Wood replied, grinning.

"Shoulda guessed," Cranky replied, rolling his eyes.  "Well, here's to our search for love and loot."

"You can have the love, I'll take the loot!" Drifting Wood replied as they bumped their hooves together.

Keep Calm and Flutter On

"Not really sure what's keeping Mum," Angel said as he relaxed on the couch, beer in hoof.  A tiny mouse sat next to him, and it squeaked in response.  "Yeah, Beaverteeth and his gang were trying to flood Sweet Apple Acres on account of some prejudiced words they exchanged with the orange farmer.  Mum went to diffuse the situation, but she should have been back by now."  The door swung open.  "'Bout time you got back!" Angel declared, but the words died on his lips.

Standing before him, behind Fluttershy, was the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, himself: Discord.  "Angel, we have a guest!" Fluttershy said, forcing a smile.  Angel's jaw dropped.

"I thought you wasted this guy last year!  What the hell, Mum!?" he shouted, leaping to his feet and stomping over to his master.

"It's only temporary," Fluttershy replied.  "Princess Celestia has given me the task of reforming him."

"Reforming hi- what!?" Angel gasped.  "Didn't he sort of break reality the last time he was here?  What is he even going to do with that skillset if you reform him?  What sort of trade could he possibly take up?  Listen, Mum, I'm an expert on lost causes, having been one in a previous life, so I know 'em when I see 'em."

"Oh, Angel," Fluttershy said, laughing and shaking her head.

"I still don't see why you're so calm about this," Twilight said as she and her friends entered the cottage.  "Discord is absolutely horrible!"

"He may be horrible, but that doesn't mean we have to act the same way," Fluttershy replied.  "We should at least try to be hospitable."  She turned to Angel and said,  "You don't mind giving up your favorite spot on the couch, do you, Angel Bunny?"

"My what?" Angel asked, turning to see that Discord was laying down on the couch, taking the entire piece of furniture for himself.  "I'LL KILL YOU!" Angel shouted, as he grabbed Discord by the foot and attempted to drag him off to no avail.

...

After Twilight and her friends had left the cottage, leaving Angel, Fluttershy, and Discord alone, Discord spoke up.

"So, I have to ask," he said, leaning towards Angel.  "What's with the rabbit?"

"What do you mean?" Fluttershy asked.

"Well,  I'm having a peculiar case of double vision," Discord explained.  "When I close my right eye, I see a plain old rabbit.  But when I close my left eye, I see a yellow-coated stallion in a rabbit suit, and I'm fairly certain he threatened to kill me in an Old Country accent when I took his favorite spot on the couch."

"Promised to kill you," Angel corrected him.

"You... you can see Angel the way I see Angel?" Fluttershy asked.

"Hmm?" Discord grunted.

"Well... it's just that everypony else just sees a normal bunny rabbit.  I thought I was the only one who could see... the suit, and hear him talk," Fluttershy replied.

"Curious.  I'm the authority on things that make no sense, and even I find this perplexing.  What are you?" Discord asked, turning to Angel.

"I'm what's going to knock that bulbous tooth out of your mouth if you don't get off my couch," Angel replied, gritting his teeth.

"Angel, can I see you in the other room, please?" Fluttershy asked.

"Fine," Angel said, following his master.

"Busted!" Discord jeered.

"Listen, Angel Bunny," Fluttershy said in the next room over.  "I think the best way to reform Discord is to become his friend.  Since he can talk to you like I can, your support would be really helpful!"

"That wanker stole the couch and I'm going to punch him in the tooth," Angel replied flatly.

"Angel!" Fluttershy hissed, causing the rabbit to recoil.

"Alright, fine," Angel replied, eyes wide.  "I guess I've seen you do the impossible enough times before to believe in you now.  I'll try to make some conversation with him, but if he drinks our beer, I'm going to strangle him with a piano wire."

"Deal!" Fluttershy replied, giggling.

"You think I'm joking, and that's a dangerous assumption," Angel replied.

...

"So..." Angel said as he stared at Discord, having given up his struggle for the couch at his master's request.  "You're eating paper."

"I'm eating paper," Discord replied as he lifted another crinkly morsel out of the bowl containing the aforementioned paper.

"I prefer carrots, myself."

"Carrots are nice," Discord replied, "but who doesn't enjoy a good book every now and again?"

"Clever," Angel replied, his face remaining stoic.

"So I find myself repeating my previous question," Discord said as he swallowed another bite.  "What are you?"

"Alright," Angel replied with a sigh.  "I guess your magical abilities allow you to see inside people's minds."

"I've rooted around my share of noggins, yes," Discord replied, nodding and raising an eyebrow.  "What of it?"

"I don't actually exist," Angel replied.  Discord's eyes widened.

"What does that mean?  Everypony else is able to see you as a rabbit," Discord replied, setting the bowl in his lap.

"Angel the rabbit is real," Angel replied.  "But me?  I'm a figment of Fluttershy's imagination.  A construct, if you will."

"That she can project over another living thing with enough intensity that I can see it, as well?" Discord asked.

"Seems that way," Angel replied.  "This has never happened before."

"So why are you here?" Discord asked.

"Fluttershy has lived the same boring life, taking care of the same boring animals every day," Angel explained.  "She didn't realize it, but she secretly longed to do bigger things with her life.  That's when she met me."

"'Met' you?" Discord asked.

"It took her a while to realize what I was," Angel replied, nodding.  "She adopted me after we became buds, and one night we're out drinking, and I tell her to hit me."

"You told her to hit you?" Discord frowned.

"Yeah, I told her I'd never been in a fight, didn't wanna die without any scars.  So she slugs me, and I slug her back," Angel replied, rising to his hind legs and punching the air.

"You were beating each other up?" Discord gasped, shoveling paper into his mouth like popcorn.

"Like crazy," Angel replied.  "Eventually that drew in a crowd of ponies, and we formed a sort of club based around controlled hoof-fights.  It was only after we orchestrated the downfall of modern society that she realized I was the manifestation of her latent anti-social tendencies."  Discord's eyelids dropped halfway as Angel finished speaking.

"I've seen Fight Club, you little smartass."

"What'd you think of the ending?" Angel replied with a grin.

"Discord?" Fluttershy called out, sticking her head in the room.  "Oh, there you are. Listen, Discord, I just want to make sure you know that if there's anything I can do to..." she trailed off as she observed his afternoon snack.  "Um, are you eating... paper?"

...

After Fluttershy left the cottage to run some errands, Discord turned to face Angel.  "You like carrots, Angel?" he asked, reaching for Angel's head and pulling a carrot from his ear.

"I believe I just told you I did," Angel replied, snatching the vegetable away.

"I'm playing your owner for a fool," Discord replied.

"Sure you are," Angel muttered.

"How do you like them carrots!?" the carrot shouted, taking on the properties of Discord's face as Angel was about to take a bite.

"CELESTIA'S BLEACHED MOUSTACHE!" Angel exclaimed, throwing the carrot and scrambling away.  "Defacing- er... facing carrots!?  You sick bastard!"

"And for your information, I liked the ending, seeing as how Edward Horseton's character wasn't able to stop Project Mayhem," Discord said, laying back down on the couch and resuming his paper eating.

"Me too, actually," Angel replied, calming down.

"Aren't you curious at all about that 'I'm playing your owner for a fool' comment?" Discord asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Meh," Angel replied, shrugging his shoulders.  "My Mum's tough, and super smart.  Thanks to my expert guidance over the years, she's only improved.  She knows what she's doing."

"So her loving pet is refusing to lift even a single hoof to help her?" Discord replied, placing his hand over his mouth dramatically.

"This is her deal, mate," Angel replied.  "I'm gonna trust her judgment and not get involved."

"Let's see how far you're willing to take that conviction," Discord replied, smiling deviously.

...

"Fluttershy!" Twilight shouted as Fluttershy landed, a disoriented Angel in arm, on the ground outside of the cottage, which was now suspended in the air and rolling over repeatedly.  "What's going on?  Are you okay!?"

"We're fine," Fluttershy replied with a nod.  "Everything's going great. Isn't it, Angel?"

"Heading into town," Angel mumbled as he stumbled down the path leading away from the cottage, attempting to regain his balance.  "Gotta find a piano..."

...

"Hammers, hacksaws, fiddles," Angel muttered to himself as he approached Sweet Apple Acres.  "The Apple Family has all sorts of tools that are impractical for a creature with no fingers, they're bound to have a piano somewhere on the property- what the shit?"  His eyes grew wide as he beheld a flooded orchard, its caretakers floating next to the tops of the trees in small wooden barrels.  His eyes drifted toward the beavers whose giant dam was responsible for everything.  He noted their glowing red eyes, and guessed who was really responsible.

...

"I'm not getting directly involved," Angel told himself over and over again as he ran toward his home.  "I'm just facilitating.  Doing my civic duty by warning Mum and the others."  He leapt in through the window and landed on the table upon which the ponies and Discord were having dinner.

"Mum!" Angel shouted.

"Now's not a good time, Angel," Fluttershy replied.  "We're having a dinner party."

"Hold on," Applejack said.  "I think he's tryin' to tell us somethin'."

"Okay, you, listen!" Angel said, turning towards Applejack.  He poured a glass of water on himself.  Confused reactions were his response.  "No?  Uh... here, look at this!"  He picked up an apple.

"Apple!" the ponies shouted in unison.

"What is this, children's programming?  Yes, it's a bloody apple!" Angel said, rolling his eyes as he pointed a hoof toward Applejack.

"Applejack!" they shouted in response.

"You know what, I'm just gonna go for broke, you won't get this anyway," Angel sighed.  He grabbed a pitcher full of tea and dunked the apple in it.

"Flooding at Sweet Apple Acres!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"You did that on purpose, didn't you..." Angel muttered.  The ponies vacated the cottage to investigate the problem.  "Aren't you going with them?" Angel asked, turning to Discord.

"I'll give them a head start.  I've got this whole bit planned out!" Discord replied.

"Do tell," Angel replied, raising an eyebrow.

"I'll make my entrance on water skis," Discord explained.  "And then I'll give Fluttershy a pair, and we'll water ski together!"

"Doesn't sound very chaotic," Angel replied.

"Well, it'll be chaotic for everyone else, except for me and Fluttershy!" Discord replied, smiling.

"So Mum's your friend now, eh?" Angel asked.

"Exactly," Discord replied, smirking.  "Fluttershy, as my friend, will never use her Element of Harmony on me, so I'm free to sew chaos wherever and whenever I want.  We'll be able to have fun together forever!"

"Guess you win," Angel replied calmly.  "Better get over there, then."

"Indeed," Discord replied.  He snapped his fingers and vanished.

"What an idiot," Angel said, shaking his head.

...

"Drink up," Angel said, passing a beer to his right as he and Discord shared the couch.

"Thanks," Discord replied, snapping the bottle off of the bottle cap, the liquid still maintaining it's bottle shape as he began to eat it like ice cream cone.

"So you're good now?" Angel asked him.

"Yeah, sure," Discord sighed.  "You don't seem surprised."

"I could tell from the way you talked about water skiing with Mum that you were getting into the whole 'friendship' thing.  I figured things would turn out like this," Angel replied.

"Well, I hate to admit it, but you were right about her all along.  She played me, and I'm okay with that," Discord replied.

"So, looking forward to a life of not being an asshole?" Angel asked.

"It'll be a little boring, but since I actually like having your master as a pal, I'll behave myself.  Most of the time."

"You're better off with her than with a life of wrongdoing, mate, trust me," Angel replied.  "I speak from experience."

"Oh?" Discord asked.

"I was a travelling thief in a past life," Angel explained, taking another swig of his beer.  "Spent all of my time taking things that didn't belong to me and pushing the ponies that actually cared about me away.  The more memories I regain from that past, the more grateful I am for Mum and everything she's done for me."

"Past life, huh?" Discord asked.

"Yeah.  Got myself eaten by timber wolves so little-kid-Mum wouldn't.  Came back as a rabbit," Angel replied.

"I don't know what that's from, but I'm not falling for the same trick twice," Discord replied, rolling his eyes, standing up, and walking away.  "At least the Fight Club thing was believable."

Just For Sidekicks

"...mix the jewels in and then ya bake!" Spike sang as he continued to stir the cake batter, absentmindedly dropping each precious gemstone onto his tongue before it had a chance to reach its intended destination.  Once his measuring cup was depleted of its gems, the baby dragon opened his eyes to observe his work thus far, only to be greeted to the sight of a gem-less cake batter.

"What happened to all the gems!?" Spike exclaimed, turning to Owlowiscious.

"Hoo."

"Not 'who', 'what'!  My gems are..."  The aftertaste of several different flavors of gem suddenly got his attention, and he realized what he had done.  "I can't believe I did this again!" he groaned.  Suddenly, he felt as though the blood was rushing to his head, and before he realized what was happening, the floor impacted against his back with the force of his plummeting body weight.

"Whoa, what was in that stuff?" Spike murmured as his vision blurred.

"Hoo?"

"I dunno, Owlowiscious," Spike moaned.  He struggled to sit up.  "Zecora gave me these, said they were from the Everfree Forest.  Guess they've got a bit of a kick to 'em."  As his head began to clear, his mind returned to the tragedy that had befallen his jewel cake.

"I have no jewels," he sang sadly, "I have no cake," he sat up and bowed his head, "I'm a sad little dragon with nothing to bake..."  Just then, he heard a knock at the door.  Spike staggered over to the library's front door and opened it slowly.  Fluttershy was standing there.

"Oh, hey Spike, I hope I'm not interrupting.  Am I interrupting?"  Her eyes shifted back and forth.

"Well, I do have this cake to not bake," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry then, I'll just be going..."  She began to back away.

"Inside joke, talk to me," Spike said, raising his hand to stop her from leaving.

"Well, it's just... our meeting with the Equestrian Games instructor is this afternoon in the Crystal Kingdom, and I need someone to take care of my Angel Bunny while I'm gone," Fluttershy explained.

"Oh yeah," Spike replied, lowering his eyelids, "that thing I wasn't invited to."

"Oh, I'm so inconsiderate," Fluttershy said.  "Of course you'd be upset about not being invited.  It was stupid of me to think that a bag full of gem stones could make up for that!"

"Bag-of-what-now?" Spike asked, his interest suddenly peaking.

"Gem stones!  Seven in all, but I can't ask you to look after Angel while I go off to do something you weren't included in."

"Well hold on now," Spike said.  "I mean you made the trip out here, went to the trouble of getting the jewels together, so yeah, I'd be happy to look after the little guy."

"Oh, you will?  That's wonderful!" Fluttershy exclaimed, pulling Spike into a quick hug.  "Did you hear that, Angel Bunny!?"  Fluttershy turned away to face her pet, and that's when Spike saw the most confusing sight he had ever seen.  Standing there, behind Fluttershy, was a full-grown stallion in a rabbit suit.

"Yeah, sure, fantastic," he said in the accent of the nation from which all ponies had migrated to Equestria.  "I get to spend the whole day with the bloke who carried me around by the foot last time you left me in his care."

"Oh, hush!" Fluttershy replied quietly, assuming Spike couldn't hear her.  "Spike is doing us a favor by looking after you."

"And why, exactly, do I need a babysitter?  I'm at the cottage by myself all the time," the obvious mental patient said.

"But this is your tail-fluffing day.  You want your tail fluffed, right?" Fluttershy asked, tilting her head.

"Damnit, that's true," Angel conceded.  "Well whatever, have fun at your meth empire or whatever."

"Anyway," Fluttershy said, turning to face Spike, "you need to make sure to—"

"Fluff his tail," Spike said.

"Fluff his— yes, how did you know?"  Fluttershy asked.

"Is this... some kind of prank?" Spike asked, eyeing the drunken furry standing outside his house.

"Prank?  Not that I'm aware of.  Anyway, here's your pay," she said, producing the promised seven gem stones from her saddlebag.

"Whoa, these look delicious!" Spike exclaimed.  "Whatever this is, I'll go along with it!"

"Happy to hear it!" Fluttershy replied with a warm smile.  She turned to the costumed gentleman who still looked quite bored and gently stroked his head.  "Now you be on your best behavior for Spike, I'll see you when I get home!"

"Cut it out, mum!"  He blushed.  "You're embarrassing me!"  Fluttershy let out a slight giggle and flew off toward the train station, leaving Spike alone with a grown stallion dressed like a bunny.  From either side of the doorway, they stared at each other for a few minutes, Spike not quite sure what to say.

"...May I come in?" the stallion asked.

"...Sure," Spike replied.  He stepped lightly to the side as the rabbit-horse trotted into the living room.  Spike took one last look around outside to see if Rainbow Dash and/or Pinkie Pie were hiding behind a bush snickering at him, and closed the door.  He turned to face Angel, and again they stared at one another.

"...Got any DVDs?" Angel asked.

"...Some."

"...I like Matt Haymon."

"...Yeah, he's good," Spike replied, his eyes continuing to widen.

"'Kay then," Angel replied, feeling slightly uncomfortable under Spike's gaze.  "You get that set up while I go raid your fridge.  Got any popcorn?"  His response came in the form of a slight nod from his caretaker.  Angel shrugged and went into the kitchen, opening the fridge.  Spike stood motionless, his eyes following Angel as he rummaged through the fridge.

"Your Twilight Sparkle's not much of a drinker, is she?" Angel asked from behind the refrigerator door.  "Not a single bottle nor can of beer to be found!  Don't suppose you're twenty-one in dragon years, are ya?  The bigoted clerks at the convenience store won't sell to rabbits."

"I..." Spike replied.  "I'm not sure what's happening."

"Sorry?" Angel asked, cocking his head and closing the door.

"What is..." he waved his hand back and forth between them,  "this?  Who are you?"

"I'm fairly certain you know who I am," Angel replied.  "You did just accept my mum's hard-earned jewels to watch me."

"So you expect me to believe that you're Fluttershy's pet rabbit," Spike replied.

"I don't really care what you believe, but why not?  That is what I am," Angel replied.

"Clearly you're a stallion in a rabbit suit," Spike replied.

"Well actually you've got that backwards," Angel replied.  "See, I'm a rabbit to most people.  Very few can see me for what I truly am.  And you're not the first dragon to do it, so don't go thinking you're special, mate."

"Again, not hearing anything believable in there," Spike replied, taking a step back.

"Well don't believe it for all I care.  You accepted mum's payment, so I'm your responsibility for the day.  Speaking of which, fluff my tail."  Angel spun around and lifted his hindquarters.

"I'm not going to do that," Spike replied flatly.

"Why the hell not?!" Angel snapped back.

"Because it's not your tail.  It's part of the costume."

"If my tail's not real, how am I moving it?"  Angel began to wave his tail back and forth with his left hoof.

"Okay seriously, Dash, Pinkie, or whoever's masterminding this disturbing little play, you've had your fun!" Spike called out, glaring at each window one after another, only to find them all empty.

"Look, mate, this is real easy.  Fluff my tail, then we'll kick back, watch some Bourne Coltimatum, and shoot the shit."

"I'm not doing this," Spike replied, eyelids half open.  "Please get out of my house and back to whatever hospital you escaped from."

"You can't kick me out!"  Angel replied, taking a step forward.

"Am I gonna have to call the police?" Spike asked.

"Whoa, hey," Angel said, backing away and holding up a hoof defensively.  "I'm not on such good terms with the PVPD, there are some unresolved issues with broken flower pots, half-eaten crops, and the mayor's office which I may or may not have defecated in when she ignored my request to be her ambassador to Ponyville's rodent community."  He offered a weak laugh.  "Let's not go getting them involved in this."

"Then leave." Spike replied, unmoved.

"Fine!" Angel snapped.  "But you're not getting paid."  In one swift motion, he snatched up the gems and bolted from the library.

"Give those back!" Spike shouted, giving chase.

"Are you actually chasing me?" Angel shouted over his shoulder.  "Well, if you want to look silly, I won't stop you.  Go ahead and try to keep up, idiot!"  Angel kicked his legs into hi-gear and the distance between them grew.

"I'll never catch him," Spike muttered as he slowed to a stop.  "Unless... I can figure out where he's going and beat him there!  With all those gems... the convenience store!"  Spike knew a shortcut.

Cutting through Ponyville's back ally's, leaping over fences, dumpsters, and Derpy Hooves in a muffin-induced coma, he approached the convenience store from behind, looping around to the front just in time to tackle Angel, who, to Spike's surprise, was easily overpowered by the baby dragon.

"Did that kid just tackle a rabbit?" Asked a nearby mare.

"What, is the whole town in on this?" Spike asked as he lifted the encostumed stallion onto his shoulder, again surprised by the unnatural lack of weight, and carried him off behind the store.

"Help!" Angel shouted as Spike ran.  "He's not my daddy!  He's not my daddy!  What's wrong with you ponies?!"

"Enough!" Spike shouted, plopping Angel to the ground.  "I don't know if you're a prankster, a whack-job, or something crazier than that, but I've gone along with this more than long enough to get to keep those gems!"

"You want the bloody gems that badly?!" Angel asked.

"Uh, duh!" Spike replied, placing his hands on his hips.

"What is it with dragons?"  Angel sighed and shook his head.  "And after that incident on your birthday, I actually thought you were different from the others.  But you're just a slave to your base instincts like all the others!"

"What is that supposed to mean?!" Spike asked.

"You chased, tackled, and carried what you believe to be a crazy person in a rabbit suit clear across town for seven tiny gems, and you ask me what I mean?"  Angel leaned forward, and Spike recoiled.

"Well, I—" Spike held his hand over his mouth as he looked back and forth, trying to come up with a retort.

"And the trip to the Crystal Empire," Angel continued.  "You literally helped save them all and they can't be bothered to send you a bloody invitation when it's time to go back!  I'd be pissed if I were you!  But throw a couple of gems in your face and suddenly anyone can treat you any way they want!  Are you content being everyone's jewel-bitch?!"

"So what should I do?" Spike asked, realizing that Angel had a point.

"Stop kissing everyone's ass..." Angel spun around.  "And fluff mine!"

Spike's lower left eyelid twitched, and he clenched his jaw.  His tiny claws tightened into fists and he shouted, "Enough with the fake tail!"  Grabbing the ball of fluff in his hand, he tore it off of what he thought was a costume.  The agonizing scream that escaped Angel's throat was like nothing Spike had ever heard before.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Angel shouted, clutching at his flank as he tried to rub the pain away.

Spike gasped as he realized that the novelty-costume sized tail he had yanked a moment ago was now a small, very realistic looking rabbit's tail.  "It's... it's real!"

"Of course it's bloody real you sick bastard!" Angel screamed.  "What kind of psychopath rips off a rabbit's tail to see if it's real?!"

"Angel!" Spike protested. "Angel, I'm sorry!"

"Yeah, well, I'll admit I share some of the blame on this one," Angel whimpered, holding back tears.  "You were put in a strange situation you didn't understand, and I didn't exactly make your transition to Angel-vision an easy one."

"So... are we cool?" Spike asked, smiling meekly.

"Not like it won't grow back," Angel said, finally beginning to recover from the pain.  "Score us some booze and we'll call it even."

"I'm twelve!" Spike replied indignantly.

"Blast," Angel hissed.  A passerby caught his eye.  "Yo, Zecora!"  The zebra turned and smiled at Angel.  "Would you mind buying me a six-pack?  I'm totally good for it!"

"I should not enable you, but my home you defend.  Just this once I'll help you, my drunken little friend," Zecora replied.

"Bitchin'!"

***

"So..." Spike began as he and Angel relaxed on the library's sofa.  They both held unopened beer bottles.  "Zecora can see you too?"

"Aye," Angel replied, hooking the tip of his beer bottle between Spike's protruding green scales and popping off the cap, earning him an angry glare.  "Do me a favor though, and don't tell my mum about any of this.  She doesn't need to know that other people can see me this way."

"Why not?" Spike asked, cocking his head and using his scale to open his own beer the way Angel had done.

"My relationship with her is... a unique one.  Simply put, her finding out that non-magical beings can see me the way she does would get her asking questions that I don't want to answer.  Anyway, you ripped off my tail, so you keep my secret and I'll keep yours."  Angel grinned before taking a sip.  Spike gulped at the thought of Fluttershy finding out what he had done and simply nodded, perspiring a little.

"There's a good lad," Angel replied.  "Tell you what, you've got an impressive Matt Haymon collection."

"Yeah," Spike agreed.  "They're not all mine either.  Twilight's a total action-movie buff."

"No-friggin'-way!"  Angel laughed.  "She hides it well."

"No kidding," Spike said with a laugh.

"So you let me come hang out here to watch 'em once in a while, and you and me'll be fast friends in no time."

"I can live with that."  Spike nodded.  "And you were right about what you said, about the dragon-greed.  I do want to be different, to be my own person.  I'm gonna give Fluttershy back her jewels when she comes to get you."

"I'm proud of ya, mate," Angel replied as they clinked their bottles together.  Just as Spike was about to take his first sip, the bottle was yanked from his hands.

"Hey!" Spike grunted.

"You're twelve years old, kid," Angel said, taking a swig from Spike's beer, followed swiftly by a swig from his own.  "I can't give alcohol to a minor, that just ain't right!"