Starlight

Diane Pritchard woke suddenly in the early hours of Wednesday morning with a thumping in her head and the wild, insane notion that someone was coming to hurt her.

This didn't happen every night.

She quickly got up from her bed and started to pace round her room, not caring about the other inhabitants of the apartment above the bakery she was the live-in apprentice of. Mr and Mrs Challinor were so kind, taking her in on a last-minute basis after she left her family, and their twin son and daughter Peter and Pumpkin were absolute angels.

Diane managed a faint smile while thinking about the twins, but it wasn't enough to bring her out of her desolate mood. She took a quick glance in the mirror and almost cried out at the sight of her hair.

It was the colour of dark pink cotton candy, and usually had the texture and springiness of it too, thanks to her curling irons, but naturally sometimes it would flatten a bit, but she usually curled it religiously.

Tonight though, it had flattened down all the way and lay hanging straight down the sides of her face dejectedly, like a man hanging from the gallows. Her pale skin glowed unnaturally in the moonlight that streamed in through the large window, making Diane look like an alien. Her hair was almost black in the darkness and her ice blue eyes stared at her reflection in shock.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

She'd definitely had curly hair before going to bed, and it didn't flatten at all during sleep usually. She kept her hair from going this straight for a reason- it brought back bad memories.

When she was little she'd lived on a rock farm with her parents, and she and her sisters helped the labourers shovel through the rocks searching for crystals her parents would later sell at the market. It was a pitifully depressing childhood. Her parents never smiled and never told Diane, Izzie or Becky that they loved them, never gave them any treats other than possibly a cake after their dinner.

She was never abused or starved, she was just overworked, never got enough sleep and most of all she always felt that no one cared for her and no one ever would, and that it was her fault for being unlovable.

Some nights she'd cry herself to sleep, believing she'd be stuck on the rock farm forever, never smiling and never falling in love.

Then, while staying behind after her sisters and the workmen had all gone, she saw a rainbow, and for the first time in her life smiled- she smiled so widely she thought her face would crack with the effort.

She gathered all the money she'd earned over the years from working on the rock farm and left, buying a curling iron and pink hair dye, so she'd never have to see her blonde hair again, caked with grime permanently from chipping away at the rocks.

Later, she got a tattoo of three balloons on her ankle, reminding herself of her promise that she'd never let anyone be as unhappy as she and her sisters were.

She didn't know so then because of only being home-schooled by her father who obviously didn't want his daughters to learn much, but she was later told by her doctor when asked about her past that she'd suffered from chronic depression and signs of it may still linger.

She'd brushed off his protests that she see him again for therapy about her past and continued with her life, deciding to become a baker and got an apprenticeship at Sugarcube Corner.

She met her friends, enrolled in high school and everything was perfect.

She met Reyna, things got even better.

But then her worst yet best birthday ever happened and she had left her hair uncurled, believing her friends had abandoned her because they didn't love her and that it was her fault for being a bad person.

She'd contemplated ending her life, started talking to herself and weird inanimate objects like bags of flour, took pills that made her twitch and see funny things, and the comedown made her feel something- but it was a terrible feeling so she took more pills to never feel again.

Finally, Reyna pulled her out of it, made her see sense, took away her pills and her friends did love her after all, and she dropped the pills and started curling her hair again.

'Take that doctors," she'd whisper to herself for weeks after the event. She didn't need any help. As long as her friends loved her she could be fine.

She thought of them now as she stared at the mirror, reliving all these painful memories.

They were all moving onwards now in their lives. High school was nearly over for all of them.

Rebecca would be moving on to fully devote her time to her boutique- not that she didn't already, Diane thought to herself- and work on making a name for herself in the fashion business, Chylenne was going to study Zoology and Biology at college nearby to work on her dream of becoming a vet and still be near all the animals she cared for, Jack was going to fully take on her half on running the farm from her big brother Mac and Twila was going back to Princess Celeste's palace to study under her more extensively than she used to.

Everyone had a purpose, had a goal, and where was Diane? Snivelling in a box-sized room in an apartment over a bakery, not even sure she wanted to be a baker.

She knew once Jack and Rebecca got into their work she'd hardly see them, and Twila and Chylenne could only visit sometimes.

That just left her and Reyna. This thought made her heart swell.

Reyna would be training all summer, fall, winter and spring, doing whatever it took to make it eligible for her to join the Wonderbolts. After seeing her perform at the Young Athletes Competition a few years ago Diane knew she was ready to join, and once the age restriction had cleared she'd joined the Wonderbolt Academy, but resigned after a bit.

Now she was putting everything she could into training and Diane felt so proud for her. Even Reyna had a goal.

The rainbow-haired athlete was oblivious to the fact Diane adored her- which was probably why she was dating Twila then, Diane thought while holding in her sobs. Twila and Reyna were great together and they were happy, but Diane wanted Reyna to so desperately be hers that she couldn't help but snap at them sometimes.

Diane moved around her room and made her way over to her desk, where she had a picture of her and all her friends, taken shortly after Reyna and Twila revealed their relationship to the group. It was taken under the great oak tree next to the library Twila lived above.

Rebecca, Chylenne and Jack all sat next to each other smiling, while Twila and Reyna sat a bit away, arms round each other, huge smiles on their faces. Diane sits further back than the rest in the shadows, smiling slightly at Reyna and Twila, but there's a distant expression on her face. Diane remembers that day well. She looks closer at the photo and a small tear falls down her face as she realises her hair had started deflating that day a bit. She'd rushed home to curl it again, scared of the flashbacks Twila and Reyna getting together had caused.

She kept her hopes up though. Even if no one would ever love her, she could still love Reyna and make her feel a little less unwanted.

"But she'll never love you back will she, you're all alone once again, unloved as usual." she snarled to herself, tears dripping down her face. Checking her clock, she saw it was just gone four a.m. and sighed. She reached out and grabbed her phone, turning off the alarm that was set to go off at 6: 45 a.m. every weekday so she could complete her baker's duties before going to school.

She didn't feel like going to school today.

She crawled back into bed, even though she knew she wouldn't get any sleep.

She ran a hand through her straight hair miserably. Looks like she'd have to get used to it.