Big Mac's bogus journey

Day one:

Perfect in a padded room.

It's your fault!

How?

Going nuts with a canister and other tools!

You told me too!

I thought you were joking around!

Well, I wasn't!

Shut up! You killed about three innocents that day and only, like, two aliens.

So?

So? Really? We are going to be stuck in here until death!

Oh.

Oh yes!

Day two:

Bored!

We are in a padded room...with nothing to do...because of you.

So?

We are stuck in this because of you!

And?

You are saying you are bored!

Because I am.

Think of something.

Ha.

Don't start singing!

Too late!

I don't know where you're going

But do you got room for one more troubled soul?

I don't know where I'm going but I don't think I'm coming home!

And I said I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead,

This is the road to ruin,

And we're starting at the end!

Say yeah!

Let's be alone together!

We could stay young forever,

Scream it from the top of your lungs!

Say yeah!

Let's be alone together!

We could stay young forever,

We'll stay young, young, young, young, young!

Does that song even exist?!

Maybe, I just made it up...I SHALL CONTINUE!

You cut me off, I lost my track!

It's not my fault, I'm a maniac,

It's not funny anymore, no it's not!

My heart is like a stallion!

They love it more when it's broken,

Do you wanna feel beautiful?

Do you wanna?

Well, you shut up!

Never, I am going to sing again!

I'm outside the door, invite me in!

So we can go back and play pretend,

I'm on deck, yeah, I'm up next,

Tonight I'm high as a Pegasus!

Will you shut up?!

Never!

'Cause I don't know where you're going!

But do you got room for one more troubled soul,

I don't know where I'm going but I don't think I'm coming home!

And I said I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead,

This is the road to ruin,

And we're starting at the end!

Why can't you shut up?!

Because I am singing!

Say yeah!

Let's be alone together!

We could stay young forever,

Scream it from the top of your lungs!

Say yeah!

Let's be alone together!

We could stay young forever,

We'll stay young, young, young, young, young!

Shut up! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

Fine!

Day three:

Hey, dude.

Yeah?

If Luna can enter dreams, then why isn't she dead yet?

Uh?

Well, if she can then she enters many different ponies' dreams at separate times then she must, at some point, enter a dream that is of zombies or she might enter nightmares.

I think she can choose which ones she enters.

Fine; you have to admit, it would be pretty awesome would it be if some-pony wrote a story about her going into nightmares and freaking out.

It would be pretty awesome.

Another thing.

What?

What if Discord is Starswirl the bearded?

Two things; the princesses would probably get really depressed and Twilight would abandon magic.

Uh?

Both the sisters are almost in love with Starswirl because of his breakthroughs in magic and Twilight, sometimes, never shuts up about him.

Oh, okay; then.

It wouldn't bother me though.

Why?

Discord may be reformed, but I don't think grudges can be reformed.

I see where you are coming from.

Yeah. He ain't got a grudge against me though, so I am good.

Ah, I see.

Day four:

BORED! BORED! BORED!

I must admit; I am as well, but at least I ain't shouting it!

Fine! Fine! But seriously what is there to do?! We are in a straight jacket in the middle of a room!

Draw?

How?!

Draw normally.

I meant with what.

Your blood.

Why on...seriously, the only person who would draw in their blood is a mad colt in a blue box!

Where did you get that saying from?

Which one?

The "a mad colt in a blue box" one.

Old friend.

You are my insanity, you don't have friends.

Fine, let's say another universe.

Another universe?

Yes; one with magic in sticks, a detective with a blue scarf, four idiot school boys and three people working in the basement of a building on machines that only need to be turned off and on again.

Odd universe.

Actually, for dramas, it's pretty good.

Dramas?

Like shows.

Ah, okay.

Screw this, I'm out!

Big Mac got up, walked to the door and began eyeing it.

Are you stupid? It's a door, we are in a straight jacket! We could-

The door buckled with the first kick and came loose with the second. As the third made it unhinge and throw itself across the floor, he walked through the doorway; with a smirk on his face.

Fine, smart ass.

What did I do? I wasn't being smart.

It was just a- fine!

Where the hell is every-pony?!

The hospital was completely deserted, ward beds scattered; some overturned. Medical tools where everywhere.

Aliens.

Touché.

A fire extinguisher came from one of the rooms and crashed across the floor about two rooms ahead. A black hoof grabbed the door frame and dragged the rest of the alien body out.

Hide!

Indeed!

He hid in the other ward and watched as the alien looked into the padded walled room, sticking it's whole head in; Big Mac looked around and saw a mallet, he stretched his hoof over to it and flailed at it; finally getting the grip, he threw it at the back of the Alien's head. Making a loud thwack, it's body sank into the room.

"BOOM! HEADSHOT!" He had a silent celebration and carried on, as he walked he picked up the fire extinguisher and a scalpel that lay next to it.

As he made his way downstairs, he saw no other aliens and no other ponies; as he made his way to the main reception, he saw a skeleton slumped over the counter.

"I'm going to have to check out, my room is just too mediocre" he said to the non-moving skeleton.

When he got his silent reply of nothing, he carried on with a grin on his face; he kicked open the door to a destroyed Ponyville, with buildings burning and aliens everywhere.

"I like these odds"

As the aliens saw Big Mac; they all hissed like snakes and ran at him.

"I count ten versus one, I like these stakes," he snuffed at the ground with his hoof. "ALL IN!" He yelled, as he ran forward he smiled like a maniac.

As the first one came, he swung the extinguisher at him; hitting him in the chest. The body bounced back, impaling itself on a pile of debris.

The second came jumping, as he came down; Big Mac pulled back and slashed the scalpel upwards, tearing at his head. The body sprawled across the ground; he ran on.

The third was just sprinting, Big Mac went from a run into a slide and held up the fire extinguisher. As he closed his eyes, he heard a loud clank and a wheeze; he got up from the slide and continued running.

The fourth was using the fifth as a shield, charging forward. He threw the scalpel forward, the fifth alien's head caught it and it limped in the fourth's hooves. He threw the body down and hissed again, as he sprinted at Big Mac with no shield; he held one of his hooves up in a block. As Big Mac swung the Fire extinguisher low at the legs and saw the block going down, he punched the alien's head; flicking the fire extinguisher around into the other hoof, he smashed the alien in it's eye. As he ran on, he pulled the scalpel out of the thing's head.

The sixth ran again, as he ran; Big Mac shrugged.

I thought they would of learned by now.

Appears not.

He threw the fire extinguisher forward like a lance and winded the alien, as he pulled it away; he gutted the alien's chest.

the seventh had a large club and walked forward as Big Mac sprinted.

Finally, some diversity.

Indeed.

As both swung, he parried each other; they did it again; again and again. Until, Big Mac threw the scalpel at the alien's chest; as it blocked the scalpel; making the steel blade fly off somewhere, Big Mac swung at it's legs; hitting it successfully, it fell to it's legs and lay there.

"Touché!" Big Mac screamed as he brought the extinguisher down on his head.

The rest ran away.

Damn, what do we do now?

We wait.

Oh, I need a drink.