Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Spike were busy playing cards in Twilight's house one day. Pinkie had other business to attend to.
"You're bluffing. I know it, Fluttershy," said Rarity.
"What? No! Of course not! Why would you say that?" asked Fluttershy through a poker face so red that the Kool-Aid man would stop and stare.
"Oh, just a hunch," Rainbow answered.
"Well, I got nothin' here," said Applejack, folding.
"Same. I've done some odds in my head, and it's basically impossible for me to win," said Twilight, folding as well.
"Twilight, that's not how you play. You're supposed to ACT like you've got something good," said Spike.
"GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!"
The five ponies turned around to see their pink friend running through the door.
"Ah, Pinkie, we were wondering when you might show up. Welcome," Twilight greeted her friend.
"Yeah, sorry I'm late; I was busy cleaning out my Granny Pie's attic. But look what I found in one of her old chests!"
Pinkie Pie held up a golden horseshoe which glinted and sparkled in the sun somehow, even though they were inside.
"Ooh, how fabulous! A golden horseshoe!" said Rarity.
Pinkie replied, "Yeah, I haven't tried it on yet, because there's some lettering on it, too. Like an inscription or something. Here's what it says:
What do other ponies see when they look in your face?
Put me on your hoof, and you can give yourself a taste:
sugary and cinnamon, with softly spoken lies.
Now you'll know just how you look through other ponies' eyes."
"Oh, really? That's interesting. Here, let me try it on," said Twilight, holding out a hoof. Pinkie Pie obliged and fitted the horseshoe on it.
"So... how do you feel?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Analyzing... Calculating... According to my calculations, I feel no different than what I consider 'normal.' Affirmative," said the lavender unicorn in a monotone, nerdy voice which made Sheldon Cooper sound like Samuel L. Jackson by comparison.
The other five ponies and Spike giggled.
"Why do you respond with laughter?"
Rainbow Dash burst out laughing. "BAHAHAHA! Twilight... haha... you sound like a... hahaha! COMPLETE DORK!"
"Dork? According to my limited social awareness programming, I should find that statement offensive. Commencing irritation in three, two, one. I am now irritated," Twilight responded.
Spike responded, chuckling, "Twi, you sound like Info the android from Solar Journey: The Next Incarnation."
"Let's just hope this isn't like that one episode, The Naked Now," said Fluttershy in an obvious foreshadowing, "But yeah, Twilight, you are acting like just a little bit of a nerd."
"According to my calculations, this additional insult means that now, I am incredibly offended. Commencing escape teleport in three, two, one..." a flash of light enveloped Twilight as she disappeared. However, Twilight appeared only a few feet away, in the air. She fell flat to the floor.
"Wow, your magic isn't nearly as good when you're wearin' that thing, Twi," Applejack observed, "You ought to take it off."
"Why take it off? That statement does not compute," said Twilight.
"Hmm, so I guess that while ponies wear the horseshoe, they don't realize that taking it off will change them back to normal," Fluttershy observed.
Applejack reached over and pulled the horseshoe off of Twilight's hoof for her. Twilight shook her head a few times, returning to normal, and said, "Wow, that was weird. I remember everything I did while wearing the golden horseshoe, but at the time I wore it, I didn't even remember what it was. Wait... so everypony thinks that I'm a total nerd whose spells always misfire?"
"I guess so. I mean, you do calculate odds all the time, and sometimes speak like an egghead. And your spells HAVE been known to backfire," Rainbow answered.
"Yeah, like that time you enchanted a tractor over at the farm and it went haywire," said Applejack.
"Or like that time that you made the parasprites eat everything except food," said Pinkie.
"But... but that was a long time ago! My magic has improved since then," Twilight pleaded. She would have specifically mentioned that it happened all the way back in season one, but this isn't one of those fourth-wall-breaking stories.
"Eh, first impressions are hard to shake, I guess," Spike observed.
"Alright, let me try," said Applejack. She put the horseshoe on her hoof.
"Whah, ah do declayuh! Thees hawshoe is quite thuh thang, sugarcubes," said Applejack in a southern accent so exaggerated, it made Jeff Foxworthy sound like a Yankee by comparison.
"Wow. This horseshoe has some strange effects," said Fluttershy.
"Yeah. We should study what it does to each of us. For science!" Twilight grinned.
"Science? Wut's thayat?" Applejack asked.
"Wow, it's like she's completely ignorant," said Spike.
"Science is the same thing that you use to run the meth lab in your barn," said Rainbow Dash, testing the waters.
"OH! Thayat type o' science!" said Applejack.
"Here, let's relieve you of this horrible burden," said Rarity, pulling the horseshoe off of Applejack's hoof with her magic.
"Whu... wow, I feel dizzy. Like, I couldn't talk right. And I didn't know a darn thing! Does everypony really think I'm some ignorant redneck?" Applejack asked.
"Well... your folksy accent and brutish mannerisms do seem to suggest that sometimes," said Rarity, "Though I suppose that once I put this on, I shall fare no better in other ponies' eyes." She placed the horseshoe on her own hoof.
"So, how you feelin' there, Rare?" Applejack asked.
"Oh, darling, I feel just MARVELOUS! I feel FABULOUS, darling!"
"Wow, she's so outrageous," said Fluttershy.
"Darling, darling, darling, darling," Rarity added.
"She does say darling a lot, doesn't she?" Fluttershy observed.
"Yeah, but not THAT much," said Rainbow Dash.
"Who are YOU, darling?" Rarity asked, glancing at Rainbow with her eyebrows raised.
"Um... your friend, Rainbow Dash?" answered Rainbow Dash.
"Yeah, but barely. You two have maybe said what, like ten words to each other ever?" Pinkie giggled.
"Eh, true," Dash responded.
"Wow, Rarity, you sure are different. But I still like you," said Spike.
"And I like you too, Spikey-wikey! I love you, actually!" Rarity said, rubbing her head up against Spike like a cat would.
"You know, I can get used to the new Rarity. Can she keep the horseshoe on ALL the time?" Spike asked.
Rarity, however, had other plans. She looked down at her hoof and said, "Oooh, look at this golden horseshoe. It's MINE!" She ran for the door. However, Rainbow Dash zipped after her and wrestled the golden horseshoe off of her hoof.
"Okay, I think you've had enough," said Rainbow Dash, "Time for me to try this thing on." Rainbow Dash slipped the shoe onto her hoof.
"So, how do you feel, darl—uh, I mean, Rainbow Dash?" Rarity asked.
"I feel... sexual..."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean... well, I'm actually a lesbian, you guys. And today, I'm coming out of the closet!" Rainbow announced, flying up into the air and holding her hooves up.
"Uh..." the other five and Spike said.
"And I'm in love with Fluttershy!" she yelled, zipping towards Fluttershy and pounding her into the ground. She moved her lips towards Fluttershy's, but Fluttershy slapped her.
"Knock it off, Rainbow Dash!" said Fluttershy, grabbing the horseshoe off of Rainbow Dash's hoof and dropping it to the floor.
"Wow, I'm sorry, I don't know what got into me. Does everypony really think that I'm some sex-crazed lesbian? I'm straight, and still a virgin, actually!"
The other six ponies looked away, blushing.
"Wait, you all seriously think that I'm gay?"
"Well, you do sorta have a rainbow mane..." said Spike.
"And a scratchy voice," said Fluttershy.
"And y'er awful athletic for a mare," said Applejack.
"What, that stuff?" Rainbow answered, laughing. "Ha! That's not because I'm gay."
"It's not?" the other six asked.
"No! It's actually because I'm on drugs. The scratchy voice is because I snort lines of cocaine all the time for energy when I'm flying. I take steroids, which explains the athleticism. And the rainbow mane is because I drop acid a lot, and rainbows look cool when you're on LSD."
"Oh," the other six said.
"Well, I guess I'll try it on," gulped Fluttershy, sweating, "Though I'm nervous to see what it will make me do."
"You know, you don't have to try it on if you don't want to, Fluttershy," said Pinkie.
"No, I need to. For science!" said Fluttershy, overcoming her fear and putting the horseshoe on.
"So, Fluttershy, how do you fe—"
"AAAH!" Fluttershy screamed, ducking under the table.
"What is it?" Twilight asked.
"All the ponies! Scared! Make it stop!" She cowered under the table, shaking.
"Looks like she's having a bad trip," said Rainbow Dash.
"Okay, this isn't going to work out. This horseshoe is terrorizing you," said Twilight, removing it with her magic.
Fluttershy crawled out from under the table and dusted herself off.
"Wow, forget waterboarding; that horseshoe could be used as a torture device," said Fluttershy, "Do you all really think that I'm THAT paranoid and scared of other ponies? I'm a bit shy, but I'm not a coward."
"Well... yeah, I guess you're right, Fluttershy," said Spike.
"Yeah. I mean, you can't be that much of a coward, or you never would've gotten over your fear and put on the horseshoe to begin with," said Rarity.
"And you never would have gotten over your fear of socializing and been friends with us!" said Pinkie.
"Spike, take a letter," said Twilight Sparkle as the theme reprise music that always plays when they've learned a lesson started to play.
"Dear Princess Celestia,
Today, we found a magical horseshoe which taught us that sometimes, our preconceived notions may be wrong. It's better not to judge other ponies on—"
"Ahem!"
Twilight looked up as she saw her pink friend standing there, tapping her hoof on the floor, a frown on her face.
"What is it, Pinkie?"
"Well, what about ME? I never got to try it on!"
The other six ponies sighed and grimaced.
"Well..." said Twilight.
"Uh..." said Applejack.
"Y-you s-see..." Fluttershy stammered.
"Dear, you must understand," Rarity said.
"NO! You'll like, I dunno, break reality or something! You're crazy enough as it is without the horseshoe!" Rainbow Dash said what everypony had been thinking.
"I second that," said Spike.
Twilight said, "Oh, well let's not jump to conclusions and judge Pinkie Pie; that is what our lesson of the week is about, after al—"
"NO." Spike and Rainbow Dash said in unison, glaring at Pinkie.
"Listen, I can handle the horseshoe. It was my Granny Pie's, and I'm sure that she must've put it on at some point in her life. But nothing bad happened then, and she's a lot like I am!"
"Is she as bounce-off-the-wall crazy as you are?" Spike asked.
"Well, no, but she's still pretty hyper and—"
"NO!" Rainbow reiterated, flying over and grabbing the horseshoe.
"This horseshoe is too dangerous. It's the clothing equivalent of PCP, which is also dangerous. And I should know, 'cause I did PCP once, and it made me jump off of a roof because I thought I could fly!"
"But Rainbow Dash, you can fly," Applejack said.
"Well, whatever! The point is, what if somepony finds this thing and they don't have other friends with them to to take it off for them, and then they do something crazy? It's too dangerous to put on, and I'm going to throw this back in the depths of Tartarus where it belongs! " Rainbow yelled, zipping out the door.
"Rainbow Dash, come back!" yelled Twilight. She tried to grab Rainbow's tail with her magic to stop her, but Rainbow was already out of Twilight's telekinetic range. You know, the range that changes length whenever it's convenient to the plot.
"Well, um... I guess you don't need to finish that letter, Spike. Apparently, we didn't learn a thing."
"Fine by me," said Spike, crumpling up the letter and tossing it in the trash.
About five minutes later, Rainbow Dash returned, gasping for breath.
"You weren't gone for very long," said Twilight, "The gates of Tartarus are a thousand kilometers away."
"Really, Twilight? The metric system? No wonder everypony thinks that you're a nerd," Rainbow joked.
"Yeah, here in Equestria, we use feet," said Applejack, "Unlike in le Nerd-land where they use meters."
"Wait, feet? I though that we measured things in hooves," Rarity observed.
"How many hooves are in a foot, anyway?" Pinkie asked.
"I don't know; I've used meters all my life," Twilight said.
"ANYWAY!" Rainbow interrupted the discussion about the confused state of measurement in Equestria, "I didn't take it to Tartarus. I just threw it into the Ghastly Gorge. The river has probably carried it out to sea by now. I doubt anypony will ever find it."
*****
"Cutie Mark Crusader whitewater rafters!"
The trio of fillies piled into a rubber raft on the river that ran through guess where.
"Wow, we should have thought of this idea before. This is so fun!" yelled Sweetie Belle as the raft bumped and turned around the rocks of the gorge.
"It's a good thing that none of us have parents, or else they'd probably be scared to death," said Scootaloo.
"Yeah, but Granny Smith will prob'ly ground me if she finds out I was here," said Apple Bloom, "So this has gotta be our little secret!"
"Don't worry, I won't tell anypo—OW!" Scootaloo said as something hit her on the head. She looked down into the raft and discovered that it was the golden horseshoe that Rainbow Dash had just carelessly thrown a few moments ago.
"Ooh, what's this?" said Scootaloo, picking up the horseshoe.
She read the inscription on the horseshoe.
"...you'll know just how you look through other ponies' eyes. Wait, so if I wear this, I can read other ponies' minds? Cool!"
"Cutie Mark Crusader mind readers!" Scootaloo and Apple Bloom yelled. They got out paddles and rowed to the side of the gorge, left their raft, and climbed up to the grass above, their ADHD minds having been distracted from their previous mission of rafting.
"Okay, here goes!" Scootaloo said as she put it on.
“So, what are we thinkin’, Scootaloo?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“I don’t know. Bwuk, bwuk, bwuk!” Scootaloo said, imitating a chicken.
“What are you, a chicken?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Yes, and I also LOVE RAINBOW DASH!” said Scootaloo, as her mane turned rainbow colors. Little did she know that Rainbow Dash had been the one who had cracked her skull with the golden horseshoe. Had she know that, she probably still would’ve worshiped the clouds that Rainbow Dash walked on.
“Wait, your mane just changed. This horseshoe lets you shapeshift, too? Gimme!” yelled Sweetie Belle, ripping the horseshoe off of Scootaloo’s hoof.
“So, how is it?” Apple Bloom asked.
“I... I love you, Apple Bloom. You too, Scootaloo,” she said.
“Aw, how cute,” said Scootaloo.
“No, I mean I actually love you, in a romantic way,” said Sweetie Belle.
“Ooookay, time to end this,” said Apple Bloom, grabbing the horseshoe from Sweetie Belle. She put it on her own hoof.
“So... how is it?” Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle asked her.
“Um... I don’t really feel any different, actually.”
“Really?”
“Nope.”
Scootaloo said, “That’s weird. Maybe it’s broken.”
It wasn’t.
“We should take this to Zecora; she’ll probably know how to fix it,” said Apple Bloom.
“Yeah, and maybe you should carry it, Apple Bloom,” Sweetie Belle suggested, “I don’t think that we’re qualified or capable enough to.”
“What are you, a dictionary?” Scootaloo asked. And with that, the three fillies set off towards the dangerous Everfree Forest, alone and unaccompanied. But of course, nothing bad happened. I swear, they must have guardian angels watching out for them or something.
*****
“So, we were wondering if you could tell us what this is supposed to do,” Apple Bloom asked her Zebra friend.
“Hmm... let me take a closer look at this shoe, then I’ll tell you what it’s supposed to do,” rhymed Zecora.
She read the inscription on the shoe, and then put it on her own hoof. Then, she started rapping.
“Mysterious motions are how I roll;
I’ll mix some potions that can make you whole.
Livin on the west side of Everfree;
Ain’t nopony else as fly as me.
Got my zebra joy, and my zebra pride.
Gonna be a zebra ‘til the day I die.
Diggin’ in the ground with my hoof
Spinnin’ around, drunk on the roof
Got my bling on my ears and on my neck
Mess with my stuff and you’ll be a wreck.
Gotta get me some poison joke
Roll it in a blunt so I can smoke.
Black and white stripes are on my coat
You lack the right types, so take a note:
Get the hell out my cottage, you little ponies.
You ain’t zebras, honest; you’re all just phonies!”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders stood there for like a whole minute in shock, their eyes widened, and their jaws hung down several inches. Finally, Apple Bloom reached over and grabbed the horseshoe from Zecora’s hoof.
Zecora blushed and kicked her hoof into the ground, looking down. She said, “I am sorry for the things I have said; let us never speak of this again.”
“Fine with us!” the Crusaders said in unison.
“So, what exactly this does, I do not know. But it did make me put on quite a show!” Zecora laughed.
“Wait.. show...” said Apple Bloom. She jumped in the air, and her head hit a lantern in Zecora’s hut, which turned on.
“I got it! We can use this for puttin’ on a show!” Apple Bloom said.
“What do you mean? What kind of show?” asked Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.
“You’ll see this weekend,” Apple Bloom replied. With that, they headed back to town.
*****
“Step right up! Step right up! See what other ponies really think of you by putting on the Golden Horseshoe of Truth! Only two bits!”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders had a booth at the Ponyville County Fair, which just so happened to be on that very weekend. And yeah, apparently in a world where they have celebrations and events for such fantastical things such as the princess raising the sun or the unification of the three tribes, they also have just a plain ol’ county fair. And counties to have them, apparently.
To their left was the booth where you can try to hit the bell by slamming a hammer onto a weight, and to their right was the fortune teller. They were in just the right spot, they figured.
“Cutie Mark Crusader Fairground Booth Operators!” all three screamed in unison as a navy blue unicorn named Trixie walked up to them.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie questions how exactly you are able to show ponies what others think of them with a mere horseshoe,” Trixie scoffed.
“It’s magic!” all three of them said.
“Magic, huh? Well, I suppose I could give it a try.” Trixie levitated two bits over to them, and they fitted the horseshoe onto her hoof. This time, the horseshoe was attached to a long metal wire which was attached to a heavy concrete weight. The Crusaders could pull on it to detach the horseshoe if anypony got out of hand while wearing it, and the weight would assure that nopony could run off with it.
“Oh... oh goodness! What a horrible, vain, self-obsessed pony I’ve been!”
“Huh?” the Crusaders asked.
“Yes. I need to prove to everypony that I’m redeemed and good! I need to save the world, or put on a really great magic show! I have changed, I swear!”
She rambled on for another minute about wanting to redeem herself, and then the Crusaders yanked the wire, removing the shoe.
“Okay, your minute is up,” Apple Bloom said.
“My goodness. Other ponies think that I feel... shame? Or, Celestia forbid, remorse for what I’ve done? Never! The Great and Powerful Trixie does not feel shame!”
“Well, that’s what they think, apparently,” said Scootaloo.
“Hmmph!” she scoffed, walking off.
“Well, um, success? Do we have our cutie marks yet?” Scootaloo asked. They each turned around and checked their flanks, but didn’t have their cutie marks, because if they did, they’d lose any and all appeal as characters. Though then again, since Hasbro turned Twilight into an alicorn, I guess all bets are off as to what they might do with these three.
“Maybe we just need to get more customers,” Apple Bloom guessed. They agreed. A few seconds later, a mint-green unicorn named Lyra Heartstrings walked up to their booth.
“I’d like to try on the horseshoe and see who I really am,” said Lyra Heartstrings.
“Sure thing! That’ll be two bits!”
She levitated two bits over to them and put on the horseshoe.
“Oh... oh my, I seem to be... obsessed with something, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.”
“Finger?” the three asked, perplexed.
“Yes, that’s it... HANDS!” she yelled, and walked over to Spike the dragon, who just happened to be walking by with Twilight and the mane six at that very moment. She levitated him over to herself, and started fawning over his claws, the closest thing to hands that she could find.
“Oh, my... look at these! They’re so fascinating! If only I could have hands of my own!”
“Uh, can you put me down?” Spike asked.
“Hey, put him down!” Twilight yelled, grabbing Spike back from Lyra.
“What’s the meaning of this?” Rainbow asked, flying over to Lyra, and then she noticed the golden horseshoe.
“Aha!” Rainbow yelled. She yanked on the wire, removing the shoe. Lyra glanced around, and then blushed.
“I... I’m sorry! I didn’t realize that that would happen to me.”
“Other ponies think that you’re obsessed with hands?” Pinkie asked.
“Well, not obsessed, really, just more intrigued by them. I mean, you can do so much with hands that you can’t do with hooves!” Lyra explained.
Applejack consoled, “Well, hey, at least y’er a unicorn, so you can do stuff with yer magic. Ever tried shufflin’ a deck of cards, playin’ the banjo, or pleasurin’ yourself with hooves? Not too easy.”
The other ponies raised their eyebrows at Applejack and her too-much-information. She shrank back.
Ignoring her, Rainbow Dash flew up to the Crusaders and pointed her hoof at them accusingly.
“So, it’s YOU three! I should’ve guessed that you’d be involved in this. Listen, that horseshoe is bad news, and you need to get rid of it immediately!”
“Yeah, right! You’re not the boss of us,” said Sweetie Belle.
“You can be the boss of me though, Rainbow Dash!” said Scootaloo, but the other two Crusaders looked at her and she shrunk back in her seat.
“Apple Bloom, y’all three better give that horseshoe back to Pinkie Pie; it belongs to her Granny Pie,” Applejack scolded.
“Well, then what was it doin' in the Ghastly Gorge? Finders, keepers; losers, weepers. If she wanted it so bad, she shouldn’ta thrown it in there,” said Apple Bloom.
“Actually, that was me who threw it in there,” said Rainbow Dash.
“Well, you hit me in the head with it! And it really hurt!” Scootaloo complained, “I had to go to the hospital because it cracked my skull. I think that you should let us keep the golden horseshoe to make up for all of my thousands of bits in medical bills that I can never hope to pay.”
“Don’t you have parents who pay for that?” Rarity asked.
“No...” Scootaloo said, holding back a tear.
“Anyway, we’re stickin’ to our guns! You leave us alone and let us make our money!” Apple Bloom said.
“Well, it technically is their property now,” said Twilight.
“That’s right! Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have some bits to make. STEP RIGHT UP!” Sweetie Belle yelled.
Next, a blond-maned, grey-coated, derpy-eyed pegasus walked up to them.
“I’d like to try this, please,” said Derpy Hooves.
“That’ll be two bits, please,” said Apple Bloom.
“Uh, I wouldn’t advise letting her do that, if I were you...” said Rainbow Dash.
Derpy ignored Rainbow Dash and gave the Crusaders two bits. Sweetie Belle fitted the horseshoe upon Derpy’s hoof.
“So, how do you feel?”
“I... I... derp,” Derpy said. She flew up into the air, buzzing around erratically, swerving all over the place. She was flying more like a fly would than like a pegasus would.
“Hey, come back down!” Apple Bloom demanded.
“That’s okay, there’s a weight attached to this string. She won’t get very far with—”
Suddenly, the weight lifted off of the ground and Derpy was somehow able to pull it.
“But... but that weighs like a thousand pounds!” Apple Bloom yelled.
“Four hundred fifty kilograms,” Twilight corrected.
“Thirty-three stone,” Rarity further corrected.
Suddenly, Derpy started zipping around the fairground, the weight dragging down below her, flying around like a wrecking ball. Dozens of tents and stalls shattered and broke under the weight.
“Oh no, she’s headed for the Ferris wheel!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. She zipped off into the air, catching up to Derpy Hooves.
“Derpy! You gotta listen! Take off the shoe!”
“Lalalala,” Derpy said, ignoring Rainbow Dash.
“Ugh!” Rainbow Dash said, and instead flew over to the wire and tugged on it with as much strength as she could muster. After a few moments, it budged, and the weight and the horseshoe detached from Derpy’s hoof.
However, the weight fell right onto the middle of the Ferris wheel, causing it to roll off of its base and into Ponyville, crushing several buildings before finally careening off of that one cliff from the Mare Do Well episode that's never seen before that episode and hasn't been seen since.
“I just don’t know what went wrong,” Derpy said, blushing, as paramedics arrived on the scene to treat the hundreds of wounded and dozens of dead.
“Okay, that’s it. This horseshoe has got to go!” Rainbow yelled, flying down to where the weight landed. She found the wire attached to it and followed the wire, but at the end of the wire there was no horseshoe.
“Where is it? WHERE IS IT!?” she screamed.
“Uh... Rainbow Dash? I think it’s up there,” said Twilight, pointing up towards Canterlot where a small twinkle flashed against one of the capitol domes for a brief second, and a *ting* could be heard.
“Oh, crap! The shoe must’ve landed in Canterlot! If any one of those ponies finds it...”
“We’re doomed!” Pinkie Pie yelled.
“We have no time to waste! Let’s go!” Twilight exclaimed, as the six ponies ran off towards Canterlot. Don’t ask me what happened to Spike; I think they just forgot him or something. Just like they did at the Coronation.
*****
“Oh, goodness! It’s a solid gold horseshoe!” said a white-coated unicorn stallion with a blond mane.
“I shall try it on, as I believe such a thing is befitting a prince such as myself,” said Prince Blueblood as he tried on the horseshoe.
“Must... be... EVIL!” he yelled, and then cackled maniacally as lightning strikes hit in the background around him. After all, a pony who was only briefly rude to Rarity for a single episode is eeeeviiillll, right? Not like Trixie, who took over an entire town and enslaved its citizens; no, she’s still a good pony at heart.
Anyway, Blueblood ran into Celestia and Luna’s throne room and charged at them with his horn. However, Luna simply laughed and suspended Blueblood in the air with her magic.
“Ah, Prince Blueblood, you joker,” said Luna, “We know thou wanteth to be a king and all, but that’s no reason to attempteth to murder us!”
“Indeed,” Princess Celestia said.
“Wait... what’s this?” Luna said, and removed the horseshoe from Blueblood’s hoof. She let Blueblood go, and he fell to the floor.
“Ugh...” he said, rubbing his head, “What on earth happened? Why did I try and kill you?”
“To taketh the throne, obviously,” said Princess Luna, “We know that is thine secret desire, since thou art evil and all.”
“But I’m not...”
“Ah, well. In return for your transgressions, we shall be taking this lovely golden horseshoe for ourselves,” said Luna as she put it on her hoof.
“WE ARE NOT AMUSED!” she yelled out, “Praytell, thine reign over the day has goneth on leng enough! I shall dethrone my sister and returneth as Nightmare Moon!” she pointed the hoof with the horseshoe on it towards Celestia.
“Ah, you joker, Luna!” said Princess Celestia, and grabbed the horseshoe off of Luna’s hoof.
“We are sorry, sister. We don’t know what came over us,” said Luna.
“No, it was funny,” said Princess Celestia, “But for that slight bit of insolence on your part, I’ll be taking this golden horseshoe for myself!”
She took it in her magic and began to slip it onto her hoof.
“PRINCESS, WAIT!” the mane six scurried into the throne room, but it was too late: the horseshoe was already on the Princess’ hoof.
“I’m sorry, did you six just charge into my throne room uninvited?”
“Yes, but that’s because we had to tell you about...”
“I’m sorry, did you just address me as ‘you’ rather than ‘your highness?’”
“Uh... well, you see...” Twilight started.
“And stammering while refusing to answer a royal question?”
Twilight attempted to grab the horseshoe off of the Princess’ hoof with her magic, but the princess counteracted Twilight’s telekinesis.
“ATTEMPTING TO STEAL ROYAL PROPERTY? There will have to be repercussions for this,” the Princess said, as her horn powered up.
*****
“Well, this ain’t as bad as I thought,” said Applejack, “At least she didn’t kill us.”
“No, it’s simply dreadful. DREADFUL! I mean, look at this dull scenery!” said Rarity.
“Oh, Applejack’s right, Rarity; you have to look on the bright side!” Pinkie said.
“Or look on the dark side, since, you know, that’s where we are,” Twilight observed.
“Yeah, you’d think the Princess could’ve at least given us a room with a view of Equestria,” said Fluttershy.
“I don’t know what you all are complaining about. Look at how high I can jump!” said Rainbow Dash, as she jumped nearly six times the height that she normally could.
“I wonder how long we’ll be up here,” asked Prince Blueblood.
“Probably 1,000 years,” answered Princess Luna, “But hey, I've done it before, and it’s not so bad on the moon.”
Author's Note
Some of the rhyme, particularly the "cinnamon and sugary" and "just how you look through other people's eyes" are an homage to the Pepper by Butthole Surfers, though not directly copied to avoid copyright.
