Star Swirl the Bearded's guide to becoming an Alicorn Princess!

by spymanx

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure
Length: 2529

Twilight Sparkle loves books, Twilight Sparkle finds a book she KNOWS she shoulden't read, Twilight Sparkle reads sead book anyways, Twilight Sparkle learns an interesting fact about Star Swirl the Bearded.

Twilight Sparkle loves books. They were her only friends during much of her youth, and even now that she has friends, they still are a large part of her life.

She lives in a library for Celestia's sake! You thought she WOULDN'T like them?

But when Twilight finds a book she has seen Luna carrying around many times, her interest is sparked; what is so interesting about this book?

She knows she should return it.

She reads it anyway.

And now she has a very interesting problem on her hooves.

(Set before Magic Mystery Cure)
(Big thanks to my editor: honkman7, you rock!)
(Apparently based off of The Sordid Truth…it's a good story.)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-15 17:40:01 UTC

READ A BOOK!

Canterlot Castle. A place of wonders.

Ponies come from far and wide just to see it. Some for the architecture, the golden spires, soaring buttresses, and majestic columns standing as a testament to the ingenuity of ponykind. Others for the beautiful gardens that inspire all who see them, filled with statues that celebrate the victories of the past.

Whatever the reason for visiting, everypony would agree on one desire above all.

A chance to see the Royal Princesses, the ponies responsible for raising the sun and moon. Beloved by all, Celestia makes regular appearances, and on occasion, Luna can also be seen out and about, though more usually during the evening hours.

Inside the castle on this fine day, a lavender Unicorn finds herself in what is surely one of the most amazing places in the entire world. Is she enjoying the gardens and statues? Gazing in wonder at the ingenuity of the very place she is in?

No, she is not; in the most magical place ever built by ponykind, this unicorn is inside a dusty old library. Instead of seeing statues, she is studying sciences of old. Instead of gazing at spires, she brushes aside cobwebs.

And she would not have it any other way.

"...And then they kissed..." Twilight mumbled to herself as she read a very... interesting old book, studying the... courting rituals of history. Right. That was DEFINITELY what she was doing.

"Twilight? Art thou here Twilight?" Twilight blushed as she slammed the old book cover shut, causing dust to fly into the already filthy room, illuminated by the early morning sun. She turned to face Princess Luna.

"Pr-Princess! Hello! Nice to see you!" Twilight put on a smile and bowed. Luna nodded for the young Unicorn to rise once again.

"Greetings Twilight! Our sister informed me of your arrival, and I merely wished to congratulate you. Since you brought me back, you have not only helped to save the Crystal empire, but also to reform Discord!" Twilight could only smile and blush at the praise.

"R-really princess, it was nothing; Spike saved the empire, and Fluttershy was the one who reformed Discord." The Princess merely chuckled at the flustered young mare... then began to cough, and had to wave away the cloud of dust that had been attacking her face before she could continue.

"You have done more than you know Twilight; you alone have brought together a group of friends, and have saved the world many times. You are destined for greatness Twilight... I can promise it." The Alicorn princess then got a faraway look in her eyes, staring up towards the dusty bookshelves that towered over them both. Twilight politely waited for a moment, before attempting to snap the princess out of her trance.

"Uh... princess? Princess Luna? Hello?" Twilight stood on a particularly large tome and began waving her hoof in Luna's face. Shaking her head, the Princess seemed to come back to earth.

"Apologies Twilight... I got lost for a moment there... I must head back to my sister. I will... see you soon?" Twilight could only nod before Luna turned suddenly and flew out of the room, kicking up another cloud of dust and cobwebs.

Twilight stood there for a few moments, slightly confused by the Princess’s sudden retreat. She then shook the dust out of her coat, then began walking towards the door. Before she reached it, a book laying on the floor caught her eye. It was a simple black book, with a strange swirl on the cover. Twilight looked towards the door, then back at the book.

Twilight knew that Luna must have dropped the book.

Twilight KNEW that she should return it.

Twilight KNEW she shouldn't read it.

Twilight quickly picked up the book and ran over to the desk. Opening it, Twilight leaned over the book and began to read.

Dear Journal

I, Star Swirl, have found myself in a situation that I have NEVER thought I would find myself in.

On this day, five years after the unification of Equestria, a mythical creature, known as a 'Alicorn' descended from the heavens.

I am currently packing my bags; this Alicorn clams to raise the sun on her own, and I WILL be the pony to find out if she is telling the truth or not. This could be the biggest discovery of our time!

My student Clover shall watch the estate in my absence.

Also, I am thinking of growing a beard again. It makes me feel sexy.

~Star Swirl

Twilight could only blink as she read the entry. This made no sense! Star Swirl shouldn't have been around during the Princess’s reign! Flipping through the book, she found another entry that sparked her interest.

Dear Journal

On this day, eight years after the unification of Equestria, something very... peculiar happened.

After serving in Celestia's day court (I am supposed to be her 'advisor,' but I am more of a student, in all honesty) Celestia pulled me aside and gave me a peculiar task; I am to travel Equestria to compile a set of maps of the region. I accepted, of course; who would reject a god?

Yet, before I departed, Celestia did something shocking.

She KISSED me!

Not on the snout, or a friendly nuzzle; a straight up, on the lips smooch. Afterwards, she only smiled coyly at me and left me there, mouth agape.

I knew the beard was too powerful to be wielded by any mortal!  what have I done?!

~Star Swirl The Bearded (Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?)

Twilight, much like Star Swirl, could only sit there, mouth agape, moving up and down with no sound coming out. Celestia had kissed Star Swirl?! How did this make any sense? Flipping through the book once more, she found herself staring at blank pages. Flipping backwards, she came to the last few pages. This entry seemed more rushed than the rest.

This is it journal; Ten years after Equestria was united, and directly after I submitted my completed compendium, Celestia has invited ME *-Star Swirl The Bearded!-** Into her personal quarters, a place no mortal has ever been. I wonder what she wants, but I must leave NOW; I will write in you again when I get back.*

~Sr Star Sirl Swirl the Bearded.

Twilight was completely enthralled by the book. There was only one more page with writing on it; she gulped, and began reading.

Dear Journal

It has been three days since I last wrote in these pages.

It feels like a lifetime ago.

This new form is very strange... I no longer have my beard, nor do I have my... stallion's pride, as it were.

After three days of... pleasure... with the goddess of the sun, I honestly thought I wouldn't have one for an entirely different reason.

This will be my last entry. I will not write in this book again. I can only hope my friends can understand what has happened to me.

I must now go.

I have a moon to raise.

~Star Swirl Princess Luna, god of the moon.

Twilight thought her jaw could not drop more than it had.

Her brain, slowly put the puzzle together.

Star Swirl DID live during the time of Celestia.

Star Swirl became the princess student .

Star Swirl was given a very important task; to create a compendium of the maps of United Equestria.

Star Swirl... mated with Princess Celestia and became Princess Luna, an immortal Alicorn.

Twilight was confused, what did this mean? Was this true? Twilight began to close the book, but paused when a note shook free from inside the back cover. Twilight picked up the note and began to read.

Dear... note?

I promised myself a long time ago that I would never write in this book again, so I wrote in this note.

My sister has filled me in on what I missed in my... absence. She has also informed me of a student she has taken, a unicorn by the name of Twilight Sparkle. Much like me in my mortal time, she is a powerful spell caster and the wielder of an element of Harmony. She is prime material to become a Alicorn; she has just recently completed her studies of friendship, and just one more test awaits her, though... Celestia has been getting... antsy, lately; I think she may want to... speed up the process and just skip the last test. I will personally vouch for Twilight's ability, and hope that soon we will have a new sister among us.

~Princess Luna

Twilight’s jaw unhinged from her skull and hit the floor.

Her brain kicked into overdrive, trying to process everything she had just read.

Star Swirl became the princess’s student (much like me)

He was given a very important task, to create a compendium of the maps of United Equestria. (Just like I was given the task to give reports on the magic of friendship.)

Star Swirl the bearded became an Alicorn after mating with Celestia... for three days.

Princess Luna says I am almost ready to become an Alicorn.

To become an Alicorn I have to...

to...

to...

At this point, Twilight's brain locked down to prevent further damage.  A moment before she blacked out, all she could see was a sea of blue with white writing.

Princess Luna laid her head on her sister's back; they didn't say anything, merely rested in silence.

"So...sister, do you truly think Twilight is ready? She is still... young." Celestia turned to Luna and smiled.

"Getting a bit jealous my 'sister?' Just because you were a bit of an older stallion before you ascended does not mean that she has to be as old as you were. Besides, you can tell I am getting a bit... impatient." Luna blushed.

"You have been reading my journal? That was private!" Luna began to stand up, but Celestia put a wing over her and sat her back down.

"Relax Luna... besides, it is serving its purpose right now..." Luna froze, then slowly turned to face Celestia.

"Sister... what... WHERE IS MY JOURNAL?" Celestia only smiled.

"My dear sister, I didn't think Twilight needed another test... so I decided to... speed up the process." Luna could only stare, mouth agape.

"Bu-bu-but... art thou mad?? Twilight will surely freak out! Do you not think she will protest?" Celestia merely chuckled, and nuzzled her sister.

"Oh come now Lulu, Twilight is so cute when she's stressed... just like you." Luna blushed again.

Celestia sat back down, and levitated a scroll over to her and began to write a letter.

Dear Spike...

Twilight regained her bearings as she slowly got up from the dusty floor. Her head pounded in protest. What was she supposed to do!?! She loved Celestia like a mother, but she didn't love her...  you know... like that!

Well, except for that crush back when she was a child...

Twilight began hyperventilating, bringing her hoof in and out in a technique Princess Cadence had showed her...

Oh Celestia, is that how her babysitter became an Alicorn?!?!

Twilight stopped thinking (an extremely hard task for her) and ran out of the room, once more leaving a cloud of dust in her wake.

She had to get out of Canterlot!  She would go back to Ponyville, get her bearings, and then talk to Celestia.

Making her way out of the castle, Twilight realized something. She couldn't take the train! Celestia's guards would be all over! What if Celestia orders them to bring her to the castle?

Now what was she supposed to do...

"...and THEN I said, well, if your blood is so blue, then you should see a doctor buddy!" Flair's buddy bust out laughing at his joke.

"Oh Celestia, that one always get me!" Sky Trot chuckled as they walked along the busy street, pulling the Sky Chariot behind them.

"EXCUSE ME!" A voice from the side interrupted the two friends.

"Can we help you ma'am?" Sky asked, flexing his wings as they stopped. The Unicorn surprised them both by dropping a large bag of bits in the chariot before climbing in.

"Take me to Ponyville, and don't stop for ANYTHING." She seemed to be quite worried. Flair Wing turned to her and chuckled.

"For this many bits, we'd take you all the way to the Crystal Empire! Off we go!" Flair nodded towards Sky, and the two of them took off running. After a few seconds they both began to flap their wings, and in moments they were up in the sky.

"So, any reason you’re in such a rush to get to the middle of nowhere?" Sky called over his shoulder as they flew.

"Uh... I... have something the Princess wants me to do..." That wasn't a complete lie; the princess did want her to do something... she just didn't want to.

"THE princess? As in Celestia? Wait... are you that Twilight Sparkle mare? The one who saved the Crystal Empire, defeated the Changelings and saved Luna?" Flair asked as he turned his focus back to the sky.

"That's me... though I only helped do that stuff..." Twilight sat down in the back, sighing; this was going to be a long trip.

"Ha! wow, Sky! We're transporting the Princess’s student! Wow... say, why don't we sing! ONE HUNDRED FOUR THOUSAND AND TWENTY ONE CANS OF OATS ON THE WALL, ONE HUNDRED FOUR THOUSAND AND TWENTY ONE CANS OF OATS~"

Twilight groaned as the two Pegasi began to sing an annoying, off-key travel song.

This was going to be a long trip.

"ONE CAN OF OATS ON THE WALL, ONE CAN OF OATS! YOU TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND! ZERO CANS OF OATS ON THE WAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!! YEAH!"

Twilight Groaned as she woke up, It was just past noon, and the two stallions had FINALLY finished their song.

"Excuse me miss? We have reached our destination! Ponyville Ahoy!" Twilight felt a bump as the chariot landed. Hopping out of the chariot, Twilight turned to face her drivers.

"Thank you!" Twilight said, smiling. The two Stallions only nodded as they turned and flew off, chatting to each other as they made their way back to Canterlot.

Twilight sighed as she walked back to the Library. She could finally rest, get her thoughts together, then have a nice, calm talk with her teacher.

She smiled and said hello to a few ponies as she made her way through the market. She felt the stress lifting as she saw the Library in the distance. She was safe, she could finally relax, have a proper nap, get herself together an-

Surprise!

Twilight jumped as the light came back on in the room; blinking rapidly, she saw her friends, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity. What was this for? Did she forget her birthday again? Wha-

"Surprise... my Student..." Twilight froze as she heard a very familiar voice whisper in her ear. As she heard the door slam shut, she noticed Luna standing in the corner, looking at her with pity.

Twilight could only gulp.

This would not end well.