Beware the Mechromancer!

by Maka Albarn

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Crossover, Dark, Human
Length: 1343

For she, who roams the lands of Equestria, shall devour ponies and other creatures, with the help of her minion, Deathtrap!

When Handsome Jack was killed, the Vault Key shown them the map of all the Vaults! Now, the 9 Vault Hunters went seperate ways, in pairs for the vaults. Gaige is 9th, so she went alone to an undiscovered planet, which was called 3QU15-2, on which TWO Vaults are located. Which she didn't tell them about, they all thought there is only one.

If you notice some mistakes, sorry! I'm not English!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-15 12:39:50 UTC

Look in The Future (1)

Dis gon' happen in the fuuutuuure!

"You will not harm our little ponies!" Said an dark blue pony with wings and a horn, she wasn't a shortie, like the ponies, I must tell you that! Like, shorter than me only by my head, counting her horn. She stood alongside an white pony, who had also an horn, and wings. She was bigger than the other, blue pony. I still had to look down, she was as tall as a typical 15 years old teenager. They both wore small crowns (tiaras, maybe?), necklaces and some kind of shoes, they were colored blue, and gold respectively. Being short, they still were intimidiating!

"Go away, mindless monster, while you still have the chance!" Said the bigger one, she said in a quieter voice, while the blue one, which was shouting previously... Boy! Did she have a loud voice! I think that the whole room shook when she shouted, but her? She had an calm, demanding tone. Too bad I'm such a badass, if I weren't one, maybe I'd listen to them...

"Hey! Who do you call a monster? I'm a sentient being! And besides, your stupid hor- ponies crashed my ship!" I shot back taking few steps forward and pointing my mechanical hand at them. We were apart about 30 metres, me being near the first window, and they were at the step of the thrones. Oh, how I hate bitchy nobility and rich assholes...

"Huh? Wait, you can speak?! AND WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM!" Shouted the blue pony. Their eyes widened and they took a step forward, pointing their horns at me. Is this their battle stance, or something? I could beat them in a minute, if they are as good at fighting as their puny guards. Pun intended.

"Regarding my arm, I had a small cut, only to bones, but I cut off the rest of it, cus' I needed something to hide Deathtrap in! And regarding what are you doing, is this a challenge? You want to fight me?" I said, barely holding my laughter, I got red on my face, and then started to snicker, then I burst into a full-scale laughter. Dayum, am I crazy, or what?

BOSS FIGHT!

"You'll regret this, horses!" I shouted, charging at them with only my mechanical arm, all my weapons were stored away in my backpack HUD thingy, I didn't want to show them my weapons, in case i somehow lost, and I don't want to kill them!

They were too shocked to move, so i did what a typical Pandoran would, SUCKER PUNCH IN THE FACE! Ho boy! Did the blue one fly! Straight to her throne! She was already out cold! I turned around and tackled the taller, white one and punched her, she flew and hit the glass, it shook, but withstanded the hit. Both the glass, and the horse! Apparently, she was the badass psycho (not really matching) of the two! And boy, do they deal a powerfull punch! Uh, I mean, buck? It hurt a little, she dealt six thousand damage, nothing compared to my sixty thousand shield! Think its impressive? Wait till I tell you how much health i have! And boy, did it take long for them to break through my shield!

But, the blow WAS strong, so I flew a LITTLE. Now she pissed me off. Let me show you one of my great upgrades! I took of my hand in the mechanical arm, and underneath it was a blade, it was pretty short, but I can make it longer. That doesn't mean I will make it longer, We don't want to kill them, right? Right! Wait, a blade? It WILL kill her!

"Uhh, uno momento! I forgot to change to a hammer, I have a blade, and I kinda don't want to kill you!"

Let me tell you something, she was not amused! I changed from a blade to a hammer and jumped at her, which was kinda nonsensical, since we were pretty far away, but i managed to land in front of her, wink at her and hit her with the hammer, hard! That was a nice hit, she was out cold when she hit her throne!

NOT A BOSS FIGHT! SLAUGHTER!

Then I walked around the throne and grabbed Tina.

"Tat wus AWE-SUM Gaige! DAYUM beat dem horses up!" She shouted in her unique, pimp/thug tone. I picked her up from behind the thrones and set her down before them. And then we noticed the six ponies. Who later would be one of the reasons the trip to this planet was nice.

Prologue: Meet Gaige

"Hello my 10 million subscribers, and welcome the new ones, this is the official channel of Vault Hunters! I got a bunch of news! I'm making playlists! They are for Vault Hunting groups! Oh you don't know? We're hunting for Vaults in groups of two! Oficially, I'm goin alone! Oficially. Group one is Lilith and Mordecai, group two is Maya and Krieg. Group three is Brick and Salvador, group four is Zer0 and Axton! Group five is me, and, unoficially, Tina, who is trying to sneak in, and she is failing miserably, I wont kick her out, I could use company. You may know Tina from her own channel, which has only 20 thousand subscribers! Boost her up, friends! Gaige out!"

I was packing all the things I need in my ship, Eridium, Echo communicators, food, water, guns and all that crap, I also packed crumpets, knowing Tina is sneaking in, that was obvious! She was making a lot of noise! In three hours I was ready, and I met with the other eight in our Head Quarters.

"Everyone ready and packed up?" Asked Lilith, she was an Siren, one sixth of a kind. There only can be six sirens in a galaxy, and four were on Pandora at the same time,

Pandora, collecting Sirens since year 2905 (1)

She got confirmations from all of us. "Let's get going then!" she said, everyone walking out to the nearby Fast-Travel station.

We teleported to the Dust, where the ships were waiting, Lilith and Mordecai in one ship, Maya and Krieg together, Brick and Salvador in the other. Zer0 and Axton together. The last ship was for me, and unoficially Tina. I went into my ship and started up the engine, the Vault's waiting! All aboard!

(1) Anyone knows the actual year in Borderlands 2? I gotta make it up!

Chapter 1: Echo Recording #1

"Hello my faithful ten and a half million subscribers! The numbers are growing everyday! The message for the day is,

S.O.S! Yeah, you heard that right, let me tell you something. Whoop de slagging do! First sentient contact! They are kinda adorable! I bet you are asking yourself; 'WHAT?!' so... they are ponies, like, tiny ponies, about two and a half feet, a fully grown one! (I think.) And they have wings. Not all of them, there are three species, maybe more. (note to self: search for more species) There are normal ponies, actual unicorns (heh, Butt Stallion) and... pegasuses? Pegasai? Oh, pegasi! Thanks Tina! So, the pegasi ones, stallions I think, they kinda... rammed my ship down into a side of a tall mountain. Right now I am waiting for it to darken a little, because near the top of the mountain, i noticed a city and a castle...? I think? How did they build anything with their stubby hooves? Don't ask me! They 'pegasi' that rammed me wore some kind of gold... suit? I think if I poked it, it would break! And they had spears. Which broke on my ship. You can see that they aren't advanced technologically. So... Maya? Krieg? Your planet with the Vault is closest to mine, could you, after you destroy the Vault, fly here, and pick me up? For the time, I'm going to the city, and then for the Vaults, when I get some info. Gaige out!"