Ut Ametur Iris

Part 1: Always and Forever

The streets were abuzz in Ponyville. The towns resident ponies attacking the settlements vanity stores in droves. If Rarity’s sewing machine could talk it would be screaming in pain as it’s needle begged for mercy from the relentless demand of garments it was forced to produce.

The reason for the blatant haberdashery abuse was a simple one. Ponyvilles annual ball was closing in fast from the horizon, and nopony wanted to miss out of the gathering. Annual however wasn’t the best word to describe the event. Despite being officially titled as ‘The Annual Ponyville Ball’, the occasion had a bad habit of only being hosted every ‘other’ year. A term that normally coincided with whenever the town’s treasury allowed it.

This being the case, the unusual schedule proved to inject far more life into the town than most other events. While Nightmare Night and Hearth’s Warming eve were incredibly relaxed, family holidays, the Ponyville Ball was a extravagant setting for those who wished to try and climb the (relatively short) social ladder of the small town.

“Oh, sorry!” A mare apologized sweetly over her shoulder as she barreled past the resident human. Andrew simply snorted, it wasn’t the first time he’d nearly been knocked over by a pony tearing down the streets at full tilt that day. In the few short hours he’d been outside today, he learned that coming within a good few body lengths of any shopfront doorway was a good method to keep out of harm’s way.

Andrew shook his head in disbelief. While the ball was good and all, he couldn’t imagine why the mayor had announced it two days before it was supposed to happen. That was a recipe for a legendary Ponyville disaster.

Unlike most ponies, there wasn’t a single modicum of Andrew’s body that felt a need to attend. Pinkie Pie’s parties were more than enough group gatherings than he’d ever need.

He inwardly sighed. He knew that he really shouldn’t be having these anti-social thoughts. He was actually happy when his shrink had told him he was making good headway into adjusting to ‘normal’ life. That was all however turned on its head when recent events made themselves known.

Not only was the ball a blatant waste of money he didn’t have. Money that was far better spent on his upcoming investment on his own house, but it was also only another problem thrown on top of the single largest, most glaring issue that was nagging on his thoughts.

Rainbow Dash.

A spectrum of varying emotions and thoughts were kicked up around that name alone. Normally, the name of his greatest friend in Equestria didn’t throw up so much internal debate. That was until certain pieces of the puzzle he had been oblivious to pick up on had finally penetrated into his thick skull.

That rainbow mare had the hots for him. It was so obvious now that he looked back at it, the increasing frequency of hugs, spending the night ‘sleeping over’ with Applejack, only to wake up in his room, all the little quips and quirks she seemed to have developed recently.

They all pointed one big, metaphorical finger at Rainbow wanted to elevate their relationship from friends to...

Andrew paused, he hadn’t actually considered what the correct terms for such a relationship were. Marefriend and boyfriend? A couple?

‘What was it that they were all talking about on Hearts and Hooves day? Special ponies, or somethi-’

“Guess who?” interrupted an extremely familiar voice as Andrew’s vision immediately went dark.

“You're putting your gross feet in my eyes, Dash,” Andrew deadpanned.

The light suddenly returned to his vision as Rainbow swooped around in front of him. “Uh, incase you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have feet. And like you actually care about getting dirty, I’ve seen you covered in mud when you were digging out AJ’s irrigation!”

“What can I say, I’m a child at hea... Dash?”

“Uh.. yeah!” Rainbow snapped to attention from a far off gaze. Day dreaming about less than foal friendly things, involving mud and a very distinct lack of Andrew’s clothing.

“So what brings you to this neck of the woods? You getting ready for the ball or something?”

“What!? Nah, I never saw myself being all prim and proper. Besides, I’ve got nopony that I could go with. Sure, AJ and Rares are coming but knowing them, they’re just going to be for business. Talk about being boring on top of boring, y’know?

Andrew quirked an eyebrow. “Twi, Pinks and Shy ain’t coming?”

“You know how Shy is around other ponies, so she’s out. Twilight’s doing one of her omega nerd study sessions again so we won’t be seeing her tonight, or probably this month if she can help it. As for Pinkie, let’s just say she’s not allowed to go back to the ball, not after the polka fiasco last year.”

“Polka fiasco?” now both of his eyebrows were raised.

“Don’t ask.” replied the pegasus, her deadpan voice telling Andrew to drop the matter.

Suddenly she flew up and poked Andrew on the chest.“But enough of us lonely mares, aren’t you interested in going?

“Sure, if I wanted to stick out like a sore thumb,” snarked Andrew. “Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if my presence there would make me the unwilling attraction for the night.”

“Andrew, you know that’s not true! Most ponies here think you’re awesome, I don’t know what you’re worried about,” Rainbow responded.

“I was talking to Rares, Dash,” Andrew said. “More ponies attend this ball than the ones who live here. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want ponies rocking up to our town just to point their hooves and laugh!”

“There is no point in going. It’s too much money that I don’t want to spend, and it’s pointless to go alone. See what I mean Dash? What would I even do there? Sit in the corner and watch all the cold shoulders I get?!” he grumbled, his words being accompanied by vicious hand movements.

Feeling a familiar rage building inside himself once more, he decided to walk away before he went off into another pity rant to the poor mare. But before he could take three steps, he heard a tiny voice call out to him.

“...I wouldn't mind if you went out with me.”

“What was that, Dash?”

“ I said that I wouldn’t mind if you went out with me,” said Dash with conviction. “Look buster, just because that you don’t look like us doesn’t mean that you can’t hang out with the rest of the gang. The girls and I know what you’re really like: you’re cool and fun to be around, even if you’re a bit on the grumpy side.”

Rainbow smiled, before continuing “So what if others thinks that you’re a freaky looking giant? Buck ‘em! That shouldn’t stop you from trying to have fun! If me having to go to this stupid ball is what it takes for you to get out of that shell, then it’s a price I’d pay!”

“Wow Dash, that was... a hell of a speech. But um... thank you,” Andrew stammered out

“Don’t thank me yet, mister. We still have a ball to prepare for,” countered Dash. “Seeing as I’ve roped myself into doing this, I should probably go and get started. You should probably do the same, you know. Let’s meetup here by around eight pm, ok?

Before Andrew was to answer her though, she was already gone. Her quickly retreating figure obscured by the flurry of ponies going about their everyday lives.

“Just when you think you already know a girl…” chuckled out Andrew. With a agenda now set, he returned to AJ's to see if he still had that old suit lying around.

A blue, multicolored blur of giggling glee soared through the air, a small puffy cloud pottering around the small stone well in the middle of town became its target. Drilling into the middle of the cloud, Rainbow Dash rolled over onto her back, kicking her hind legs as she giggled cutely.

“Oh my gosh, I- me and Andrew! At the ball!” Rainbow beamed, squirming around inside the cloud with a dopey expression of affection as she fantasized about the upcoming event.

Dreamy images floated around in her head. Visions of a mist-covered dance floor hiding their ankles as they gently danced around each other on the opalescent platforms of the Pantheon. Columns of purely smooth clouds stretching into the infinity above them, the moonlight bathing them both in its milky white light.

The dress she wore flowed perfectly from behind her, its unmatchable beauty and the mare it was draped over becoming the talk of the century. None of that mattered to her though, all that she needed was to feel his strong arms around her. Memories of Andrew’s warmth and the alluring scent of his body began to invade her thoughts as she envisioned his two strong hands resting on the small of her back, keeping her close to him.

‘Oh Andrew,’ she muttered dreamily into his chest, unknowingly also muttering it into the real world from inside her cloud. One of his big, strong, wonderful hands moved from her back, sliding up to the back of her head, cupping her soft mane.

She was lost in her own imagination now. All she could think of was him, her eyes glossy and distant, thoughts focused solely on his face.

‘Rainbow,’ he said ever so slowly, ‘I just freeze everytime I see you.’

Little by little, the two began to drift towards one another, the star-crossed lovers finding themselves pulled towards one another.

‘Rainbow Dash... will you be my special somepony?’

“Oh yes, yes, yes a thousand times yes! Make me yours, Andrew!” she salivated to herself. Unbeknownst to her, her monologue caught the the attention of three young fillies who were nearby.

“Did you hear that?” said Scootaloo, “Rainbow Dash is going to the Ponyville ball with Andrew!”

“Andrew?” questioned Sweetie Belle, “You mean your long term guest who’s been sulking around Applejack’s barn?”

“Ah told you already, Andrew’s not moping around anymore!” exclaimed Applebloom. “He’s rather sweet when you actually get to know him.”

“Whatever, what’s important is that Rainbow is going off on a date! She’s all sappy about it too, like she had a crush on him.”

Right after Scootaloo said that, the three of them froze as they came into a realization.

“Hey girls, are you thinking what I’m thinking? asked Scootaloo.

“I think I do, but didn’t we already try this? We didn’t get our cutie marks on matchmaking when we tried to get Cheerilee and Big Macintosh together,” said Sweetie Belle

“But that’s because we didn’t know it was a love poison rather than a love potion!” retorted Scootaloo. “This time there’s every chance that it would work, I mean look at her!”

The fillies took another quick glance at the lovesick pegasus, who was busy rolling around on her cloud, while randomly squealing every now and then.

“Ah say we go for it,” suggested Applebloom, “It’s not everyday we get a chance at making a human and a pony to fall for each other.”

Before Applebloom and Sweetie Belle could do their trademark warcry however, Scootaloo covered their mouths. “Let’s not let Rainbow know what we’re up to, so we’ll do this one quietly, got it?.”

“Cutie Mark Crusader Interspecies Matchmakers, yay!”

With a somewhat terrifying act of stealth from the three destructive fillies, the trio sped away to their ‘secret’ clubhouse to plan the perfect date.

Meanwhile, Rainbow continued to sigh happily inside her cloud of girlish fantasies whereas Andrew rummaged for his suit, both unaware of the coming storm that was to befall them, and the events that would forever change both their lives.