Brandon McRifferson was happily strolling down the sidewalk as he whistled a jaunty tune. It was a beautiful day outside, the birds were shining, the sun was babbling, and the babies were flying, and Brandon McRifferson was out enjoying the wonderful weather.
“Oh hey , said Twilight Sparkle as she sauntered towards him,” what’s up?”
“Oh nothing,” Brandon replied,” just getting’ some exercise and soaking up some sun.”
“Well don’t be out too long, you might get a sunburn,” Twilight Sparkle burst out laughing,” get it? It’s funny cuz’ you’re black.”
Brandon sighed and punted Twilight Sparkle in the cranium. He sighed as he listened to Twilight’s pained cries of agony. In actuality, he wasn’t offended by Twilight’s racist humor, but hearing the stupid joke just got old after awhile.
Brandon stopped giving two shits about his idiot friend, after all, what did it matter to him. Worst case scenario, he’d be boning Celestia later tonight, so who really cares? Certainly not Brandon, no, he had a hot date tonight, and she was waiting to receive the D.
As he strolled about the town, Brandon came across a small tuxedo store. He decided to inquire about getting a huge tuxedo made, so that he could look spiffy for his date. So in he went, ducking under the doorway, cuz’ ponies are short little shits. Especially Rainbow Dash, she sucks.
Twow walked up to the cashier, making a mental note to tell Rainbow Dash how worthless she is after this whole ordeal was over.
“Excuse me sir,” said Twow as politely as possible,” but might I request a custom tuxedo, made for a person of my particular species?”
“Why certainly,” replied the stupid, ugly fuckhead at the cash register,” what color?”
“Hmm, since I’m black, if I get a normal tuxedo I’ll look naked, better get the white one, it’s the superior color anyway.”
“Quite right.”
So the annoying dunderhead that was the cashier took all of Brandon’s measurements, and cuz’ magic is hawt, he came out with a tuxedo that looked like this:
“That’s perfect,” said Brandon,” I’ll put it on right away.”
So Brandon McRifferson stripped naked in front of the retarded, hideous cashier, and put on his ‘tuxedo’. Then he got on all fours like the worthless sub he is and galloped off towards yellow pone’s house.
Yellow pone was busy being a total cookfag, as she prepared her stupid dinner for her idiot date. Naturally she was fucking up royal, because she’s a worthless sack of vomit covered in pencil shavings.
Yellow pone was totes scared so hard that she took a shit all over the kitchen floor when she heard a knock at the door. So she picked up her useless ass and trudged over to her door like a swamp monster.
Fluttershy looked at the door knob. She used the many muscles and tendons attached to her jaw bone to open her mouth. Then, she leaned forward, inhaling and exhaling as she carefully bit down on it. Then, using her neck muscles, she turned the doorknob, along with her fat, stupid head. Fluttershy then pulled back on the door, revealing who it was.
It was Prince Blueblood, her boyfriend and lover.
“Hello Blueblood, good to see you.”
Blueblood smacked Flutterbutter in her ugly face, knocking her to the ground, then he playfully tickled her with a rock.
“That’s PRINCE Blueblood, you insolent whore!”
Fluttershy sprang up immediately and kissed Bluebloods royal hooves.
“Of course, my prince, however could I forget? I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, but this time I’m going to have to put wasabi in your butt.”
Just then, Brandon galloped over the hill and into the sight of Fluttershy.
“Yo Blueblood, what up mah homie?” said Brandon The Gimp.
“Oh, I was just punishing Fluttershy, you stupid shvoogie.”
“That’s chill, dawg, want me to give her a wedgie?”
“Sure.”
So Brandon grabbed Fluttershy by the labia and dragged her over to a trashcan, which he gently chokeslammed her into. Naturally, as wedgie proceedings would dictate, he poured napalm into the trashcan and threw a match in it.
Fluttershy screamed in agony as her fur and skin were burned away in a fraction of a second. The trashcan fell over as she thrashed, and her exposed muscle tissue touched the grass, causing her to emit bloodcurdling screams.
“Lol, enjoying your wedgie, loser?” said Brandon,” well, it isn’t over yet.
Twow reached into his pocket and pulled out a small hammer. Then, he walked over to Fluttershy’s burnt, screaming form. He raised the hammer over his head and slammed it down onto the yellow pony’s left wing.
Fluttershy screamed once more as her burnt wings splintered and cracked, as blood and skeletal shrapnel flew out in all directions. Brandon continued to slam the hammer against Fluttershy’s wings until they were nothing but twisted masses of mutilated mare meat.
Brandon dragged Fluttershy into her cottage by her shattered wing, and pulled her over to the lit fireplace. Then he grabbed one of the searing hot logs from the fire, his gimp suit protecting him, and pressed it onto the bloodied wings, cauterizing the wound, and causing yet more shrill cries from the pegasus. Blueblood sauntered over to Brandon, holding a piece of rope.
The deep-seeded friendship of Blueblood and Brandon meant that words weren’t necessary, Brandon knew of Blueblood’s intentions, and he tied the rope around the bases of each of Fluttershy’s limbs.
It’s a little known fact that Blueblood carries a machete with him wherever he goes. Pulling it out, Blueblood gazed at Fluttershy’s legs. They were turning purple, which meant that the rope was perfectly tight enough.
Blueblood brought the machete down onto Fluttershy’s front leg, and a small wellspring of blood gushed from her stump. Brandon quickly cauterized the wound with another searing hot log, and Fluttershy coughed up blood, her throat torn raw from the constant shrill screaming.
Blueblood did the same with the other front leg, and he and Brandon backed up to admire their handiwork. Fluttershy was now a squirming, screaming mass of stumps, unfit to take care of animals, and therefore useless to society.
“Well now,” said Brandon as he laughed with his best friend, Blueblood,” looks like you’re in quite the predicament.”
“Indeed, but we’re each willing to give you reprieve from the pain. If you can get up and walk into the kitchen, then we will not rape you and kill you.” stated the Prince.
Fluttershy squirmed, trying to use her still remaining hind legs to push herself into the kitchen. Unfortunately, her thrashing and squirming left her without the strength to even move. Truly she was no match for Blueblood and Brandon’s awesome friendship.
“Oh? Could it be that you don’t want to be given sanctuary? That you want to be sexually assaulted and eviscerated? Well, far be it from me and my best friend Brandon to deny you your last request.”
Brandon pulled off his gimp clothes, and he and Blueblood started jacking eachother off. They were soon fully erect, Brandon’s dick matching Blueblood’s in length and girth, he is black after all.
They both picked up Fluttershy and positioned their penises under her sex-holes. Blueblood at the pussy, and Brandon at the anus.
Brandon and Blueblood high-fived and thrust in their massive dicks, ripping Fluttershy’s virgin pussy and asshole to shreds, spraying cunt and ass blood in all directions. Blueblood is a total quickfag, so he came inside of Fluttershy in like three seconds.
Brandon was a different story though, and he continued to thrust super fast into Fluttershy’s rended ass-flesh.
Brandon reached down to fluttershy’s burnt cunt and took her clitoris in between his fingernails. Then he squeezed, slicing the sensitive cum-button with his fingernails. A miniature torrential downpour of blood came out as Fluttershy screamed once more, causing Brandon to roll his eyes in agitation.
Casually leaning over, Brandon took one of the searing hot logs and jammed it into Fluttershy’s mouth. Let’s not forget that this is all her fault for not shutting the fuck up. Fluttershy cried in silent agony as the inside of her mouth was burnt to a crisp. Meanwhile Brandon continued to fuck the shit out of this useless bitch.
Brandon sensed that his climax was approaching, so he did exactly what he always does when he’s around a woman, he mercilessly punched the back of Fluttershy’s head and laughed about it.
Brandon reached over and grabbed the machete as he came inside of Fluttershy’s wrecked asshole. Then he grabbed two more searing hot logs and shoved them up Fluttershy’s ass and pussy. They melted into the hot wood and cauterized shut.
Then Brandon used the machete to sharpen two more burning logs, and impaled them into Fluttershy’s stumps.
“Hey look,” said Brandon to Blueblood; his best friend in the entire world,” She’s finally a tree.”
Blueblood and Brandon shared a laugh and Brandon used the machete to slice open Fluttershy’s stomach, giggling as her entrails plopped onto the floor. It was a lot like a prank really.
Brandon then wrapped Fluttershy’s small intestine around her neck and began choking her. There wasn’t really a reason, but Brandon is always pulling this crap. Eventually Fluttershy died.
Her last thought was: this is all my fault.
“Finally that bitch is out of the way,” said Brandon as he turned to Blueblood, his dick re-hardening,” now we can finally be together.”
Brandon lunged forward and lip-locked with Blueblood as they sensually felt around each other’s bodies. Their tongues danced like two wet cobras as they engaged in a passionate tongue-wrestle.
Brandon kissed Blueblood’s neck, then his chest, his stomach, his pubis, until finally, he reached his prize, sixteen glorious inches of pulsating pony penis.
Brandon took the massive member into his gaping mouth and began to suckle on the humongous head. Slowly he bobbed up and down until the entire cock was in his mouth and throat.
“Not there my love,” Blueblood said suddenly,” lick my tight white asshole.”
Brandon immediately complied, removing the member from his mouth and kissing down the gooch and to the asshole. His tongue moved expertly, licking away dried clumps of shit which he greedily swallowed. He then inserted his entire tongue into Blueblood’s asshole, but felt something stinky blocking his path.
“Sorry Brandon,” said Blueblood,” I really have to poop.”
“That just makes my dick even harder,” Brandon replied. Then he mounted Blueblood, thrusting slowly into his tight, virgin anus. Brandon moaned from the pleasurable pressure of the putrescent poop-hole clamping his cock as he thrust back and forth with increasing vigor.
The shit in Blueblood’s anus coated Brandon’s cock in crap, further stimulating the big black dick. Naturally the shit didn’t stain Brandon’s dick, because they were the same color, and black people are the same shade as shit. Unnecessary racism aside, Brandon was rapidly approaching orgasm, so he screamed “KAMEHAMEHA!” as he came with the ferocity of a howler monkey.
The power of the orgasm was so powerful that it shot the shit through Blueblood’s digestive tract and out his mouth, slamming it against Fluttershy’s dead carcass. That didn’t matter though. Brandon and Blueblood were no longer friends.
They were lovers.
