The misadventures of a half enderman, a cyborg technomage, and a dinosaur sniper

by Onidevil

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other
Length: 6713

Join the Blackrock gang and the shennanigans they bring to equestria.

A nuke has been set off in Duncan's castle. No one knows who set it off, but what everyone does know is that a strange portal has opened up where Blackrock used to be. Zoeya, being the curious cyborg she is decides to jump in. Rythian, and Teep, being the kinda adopted big brothers they are, jump in after her. The tomfoolery that ensue will be almost catastrophic...but not quite.

Rated teen for occasional swearing and such.

Published 2013-07-17 00:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-03 17:19:24 UTC

Prolouge:Really, Zoey!?

"But Rythiaaaan!" Zoey moaned. She wasn't getting the idea that dark mystical portals is not a 'but' situation.

Rythian sighed, thinking of a way to put this gently, "... No." He wasn't the best at it, though. "Look, Zoey, I understand you’re curious, but this," he pointed to the hole in reality, "Does not need to be jumped into right now, or ever."

Rythian, for his part anyway, wasn't in the greatest moods. He'd been reduced to using thaumancy (which wasn't the most efficient of magics), his home was destroyed and was now only a crater, and the closest thing he had to a sister lost an arm and had to have a metal replacement. It shot laser beams, though, so it was pretty epic.

And by pretty epic, he meant TOTALLY epic.

However, the fact of the matter is she lost an arm because of three nukes placed under Blackrock by a certain scientist.

Even after the truce, Rythian still felt resentment to Duncan and Sjin for destroying the old world, but Duncan had hit an all-time low with that stunt he pulled. Three nukes! Who puts Three nukes under a castle?! Not only that but it killed... Zoey.

"-And new mushrooms!" He snapped back to reality at the mention of her obsession. Teep did mention he heard the mushrooms talking too but Rythian blamed that on slow insanity.

Speaking of Teep, he had been really quiet. While he is a mute... dinosaur... he tends to growl or snap his claws, but he'd hadn't done anything except glared at the portal like it would hurt Zoey. Teep was a protective type, even more so around Zoey. Maybe even more than Rythian.

Maybe.

"No." Rythian said resolutely, "Not until you're more experienced in thaumancy. I mean seriously, I've never seen this kind of portal before and I know my stuff!"

"You know what? I'm going in," she said in defiance. What? Where did this come from? Rythian and Teep never thought her to be the rebellious type, "Because this world here is just another time bomb like the old world, and I'm not going through that again," So serious...

She flashed a grin at them, "C'mon, it'll be fun!" and suddenly the normal, bubbly attitude was back. She skipped cheerfully into the portal.

"Zoey! Wait!" Rythian sprinted, followed closely by Teep. And so the Blackrock crew headed blindly into a new dimension, unsure of what they would find.

~#~#~

"Twilight dear, what's wrong?" Rarity asked, noticing her friend’s grimace.

"I'm fine Rarity, just a headache" Twilight assured her friends. Little did she know her headache would be much worse by the end of the day.

~#~#~

"Ugh, my head," Rythian moaned, lying on what felt like grass (something he did not expect from a different dimension). His head felt like he had taken Enderbane to the skull. He reached to touch his face but instead of a hand he felt something more blunt, the feeling in his fingers completely gone. He opened his eyes to find out what the offending limb was. It had what appeared to be dark purple... fur, and a dark brown... hoof at the bottom of his...

It hit him like three nukes

"Why do I have hooves!?" 'This is not good, this is not good' Rythian thought, stressed that he now had no fingers. The hooves thing he can deal with but he needed fingers, how would he continue work or teaching Zoey?

Oh god, he just forgot Zoey.

He go to his side, stood on all fours,(he didn't need toes)and saw the crater. 'Ah, shit,' he thought, slowly trotting to the hole and getting used to the new body, he peered in and saw what he feared.

An unconscious dinosaur and a cyborg horse with...wings?

"Or, of course, you get the good end of the evolutionary stick," he muttered. He trotted towards the pair, eager to wake them up and get the nether out of there. Rythian started by prodding what he hoped was Zoey, mostly because he didn't want to surprise Teep and have his neck snapped.

"Zoey," Rythian whispered to her ear, hopefully not having to raise his voice and wake Teep. Fortunately, Zoey's eyelids fluttered open, staring right into Rythian's.

"AH!" she yelped, not knowing what this thing was.

"Zoey calm down it's Rythian." He whispered

"Why are you a unicorn?" she whispered back, not knowing why they were whispering but doing it anyway. 'A unicorn?' Rythian thought, touching his forehead. Sure enough a sharp, tall cone was on his forehead.

"Why are you a Pegasus?" he retorted. Zoey did feel something new on her back but could not pinpoint what it was. She tried flexing them and sure enough her wings expanded.

"Oh, cool!" Zoey exclaimed

"Shhhh, you're gonna wake up Teep!" Rythian hissed. Just because of her optimistic personality doesn't mean she doesn't know when she's in mortal danger. She nodded not to risk her spine. She took a moment to study her new form, a very light brown furred equine. She also noticed a few stray strands of her red hair... or was it mane now?

She then looked at Rythian, noting his dark purple coat with brown mane and... tail. He wore his normal robes, though they seemed to be refitted for his new body. She assumed it was the same for her attire. She can summon her inner Sherlock Holmes when she feels like it.

"Okay Zoey, listen to me," She snapped her attention to Rythian, waiting for the plan to the suicide mission.

"I'll wake him up then you tell him it's us, he trusts you." Zoey only nodded once.

"Okay... ready?" Zoey shook her head enthusiastically.

"Me neither." Rythian replied, and tip-toed (hoofed) towards Teep.

~#~#~

After several minutes of Teep roaring, calming down and not killing anything, Teep was sitting on a boulder he found. "Okay," Rythian exhaled, glad to be alive.

"We need to find a fresh water supply, set up camp and continue our lessons," he nodded to Zoey.

"Yay!" she exclaimed

"We have our bags, so food and resources are not a problem, but all meat goes to Teep cause me and Zoey probably herbivores"

Teep grunted his approval, sniper in grip.

"Zoey can you still use your laser?"

"Yeppers."

"Right then, let’s roll out!" Rythian started trotting in a random direction, followed by Zoey and Teep.

'This is gonna suck,' thought Rythian, ‘A lot.'

Author's Note

My first fic and chapter, give it bad ratings if you must but know that i'm doing this for fun and no one can stop me.

Chapter 1:..Well this is interesting.

Rythian watched Zoey, spinning and doing barrel rolls in the air, who seemed to have taken quite quickly to her new body. Rythian then looked to Teep, who continuously checked is gun as they moved forward. They've been walking or hours on end and Rythian still felt like he got the bad end of the stick. Being a walking myth was a bit cool, it's just that how would he be able to craft more items or teach zoey magic, would Zoey even be able to use magic! Most of the magic that she has are items but he needed to teach her a bit more than that.

They reached a clearing in the forest. 'about time' Rythian thought 'this forest is way too thick.'

"Alright," Rythian called out "we'll camp here for a while and then continue heading in this direction. We leave in two hours. Zoey make a fire, Teep take watch."

Zoey nodded and started gathering kindle.

[sweet] Teep grunted. Now being a mute dinosaur he is you might wander what he just did. Though he's not able to speak Tekkish, he has learnt what words in Tekkish mean. He also taught Rythian and Zoey what his different types of grunts and growls meant. However, when deep in conversation there are a few words here and there he wouldn't get and vice versa. Still his friends understood him, and that's all he asks.

an hour and a half later

Zoey was busy practicing her flying. Now to the average person/pony she was moving at insane speeds that would be impossible for someone who just got wings, but to Rythian and Teep thay saw her at the speed of an ocelot. Teep managed this due to his advance primal instincts, and Rythian due to his ender pearl necklace. Rythian was awed at how fast she had adapted to this, He envied her because of her place on 'the line' as he called it. Afterall what was he without his magic?

"Hey Rythian, i've been thinking..." Zoey said as she landed gracefully.

"Go on?" Rythian asked cautiously.

"Didn't one of the unicorn myths we had say they could do some complicated magic with their horns?"

"Yes, but those are just my-" He closed his mouth and went wide eyed. He was now a mythical creature so any argument on myths became invalid. He proceeded to face palm(hoof) so hard it left a mark on his new muzzle.

"...well I feel like an idiot." he said dryly, feeling embarrased beyond belief. Wait...didn't the myths say they used telekinisis?

He got an apple roasting on the fire and concentrated. If magic in this world anything similar to magic in his then this could work!

His horn glowed an indigo aura that also surrounded the apple, rising and rising.

"Ha! it's working!" he cheered, briging the apple to his mouth and eating it whole.

"Yay!" Zoey cheered along side him, until she realised...

"Waaaaiiiit!" she stopped the celebration. "If you need a horn to do magic and I don't have one then-"

"You wont be able to use your magic" Rythian finished, panic in his eyes. If she cant use her magic the how would he teach her!? What would she use to protect her-

"just give me demonstration of magic and when we get back go into little details." She said, apparently reading his mind. "also your forgetting." She pointed at her laser hoof.

Oh yeah, laser hoof.

"I added teleportation and shield mods to it so i should be fine." She beamed warmly at him.

"Ok, fine" he heard himself say tiredly. "but you do exactly as I say, ok?"

"Yeppers!" she affirmed

"ok then, lets pack up."

five minutes later

"Ok, let's go!" He said, letting in a deep breath and letting it out. But before he could move Teep growled [There's like six animals hiding in a bush to the left, I can't tell what kind of but they smell sentient.]

"Zoey stop, stay still." Rythian ordered. Zoey, a bit shocked by the tone of his voice, made a...less than graceful landing. She didn't try to get up, lest she anger anger Rythian.

"whats happenning?" Said the panicked cyborg pegasus

"Teep saw something moving. Teep, fire a warning shot. Zoey get ready to teleport if need be."

Zoey nodded once, standing on all fours in a defensive position.(or what she thought was one)Teep however had his eyes closed and was taking several deep breaths. In the time Zoey took to blink once he had aimed at a Big bush to the left and pulled the trigger.

*KER-THUUM*
~#~#~

My most faithful student

A magical portal of an unknown kind opened up above the middle of the Everfree Forest. The portal has vanished but three beings have entered Equestria through it, one with unbelievable magical power. I can not investigate due to negotiations with the dragons, so instead I ask you and the other elements bearers to confront them. I am sending the elements of harmony to your library incase these beings are hostile. By my calculations they will reach Ponyville by sunset if you do not intervine. I hope the elements prove useful, and may luck by with you.

Princess Celestia.

"They don't sound that tough. I'm sure I can beat them all in ten seconds flat!" Rainow boasted, Twilight was happy to see her friends conidence unshaken but fighting an enemy with no knowledge of their abilities seems...unreasonable.

"Rainbow Dash, this is not some bar room brawl, this may be the biggest threat equestria has ever faced!" Rarity reminded Rainbow Dash. 'well at least somepony's being rational' Twilight thought to herself, relieved that some one can keep the Element of Loyalty in check.

"Ah gotta agree with rares on this on RD, we don't know how strong these fellers are, they could beat us within two inches of our lives!" Apple Jack seemed the most cautious of the group.
"But...the letter also said they may not be evil..." Fluttershy said, almost inaudiably. This was also a valid point. Just because the letter said they may be evil doen't mean they are evil

Pinkie wasn't there because the second twilight finished the letter she went off to make a ''welcome to equestria, please don't destroy us!'' party. 'that mare really is the most optimistic pony on the planet' thought Twilight.

"Girls, it's almost mid day. If we want to meet them, we go to the library now, then deal with these guys." Twilght informed her friends. It got their attention, and the five Element Barers trotted to Twilights house.

"Rainbow, get Pinikie and go to the forest entrance, we'll meet you there." Twilight wanted this done as efficiently as possible.

Rainbow nodded, and flew to Sugercube Corner. A few minutes later the elements were packed into a box and everybody was at the forest entrance. Even Fluttershy looked a lot more braver than usual.

"Alright everypony." Twilight addressed the others, all of them had fears like: will the massacre the town? or will they not like the party?

"We have no idea what these things are or if they mean us harm or not, but were gonna find out. And if they do?" She sighed and levitated the box. "Then we use the elements on them."

Everypony went cold. this is not something that people do easily.

"Ready?"

All the mares nodded

"then lets go." and just like that they entered the forest.

an hour and a half later

"My mane is a mess!" Rarity whined. She didn't know how long they've been traveling but it felt like hours. maybe four to five.

"Calm down Rarity i'm sure they're close by." Twilight assured her friend, but not sure herself. They'd been walking for a bit, but the only thing interesting that happened was a pack of Timberwolves that Fluttershy had convinced them to go away.

"C'mon! celestia allow something to happen!" Rainbow moaned.

"Hey Rythian I've been thinking..." A feminime voice came from the east. The girls slowly crept in to a bush. and saw the.Wierdest.Trio ever! There was a cream coated mare with red pigtail mane and tail. across her right eye was some sort of...lime green earpiece. She wore a black sort of vest that had a bunch of pokets, probably sort of survival kit. She had stockings. That was weird. Stockings are only used by ravers in Manehatten but she was in the middle of a forrest.Why would she where them. Another weird thing was her right fore-hoof was covered in metal and glowing circuits.

"It's fake..." Twilight whispered

"huh?" rainbow brilliantly replied

"Her fore hoof...is completely mechanical! she lost her real one somehow..."

The mares went wide eyed at the cream pony, wandering what fate befell her past limb.

"Go on?" That voice was definitely male. They followed the voice to it's owner. A stallion was an indigo colour with brown mane and tail in the style of a young colt. probably could pass off as one if it weren't for the glowing blue eyes. Eerie, yet trustable. He wore extravigant white and magenta robes with vials of odd powders attached. Rarity fought it quite elegant. And then there was his necklace. It just felt dark and twisted. He also had a black mask that covered his muzzle. The Elements decided this must be ''Rythian'' and decided to continue the study of him later as an excuse to look at the...thing behind him.

It looked like a teenage dragon, but more muscle toned and dangerous, somehow. He had a green, tough looking skin but it didn't look like scales. it Stood slightly bent on two legs. He wore some light blue scarf and gold cuffed guantlets and a strap across his shoulder and waist. The matireal they didn't know of. It also wore a huge...monacle? What in tartarus was it doing wearing an monacle!? Moving on it held a long, weird shaped iron stick. On it's back it had a weird version of a saddle bag. now that they thought of it, all of them had similar type bags.

"I think we have our dimension hoppers." twilight whispered to Rainbow dash who was looking the mares fake hoof. Suddenly she started speaking.

"Didn't one of the unicorn myths we had say they could do some complicated magic with their horns?" She said. 'Well of course!' Twilight mentally huffed. 'How else can you cast spells? and who said we ever were myths!'

"Yes, but those are just my-" He was about to say something, but stopped himself, and went wide eyed for some odd reason. He proceded to face hoof so hard twilight felt heat go to her cheeks.

"...well I feel like an idiot." He said, clearly seeing a blunder the six bush sneakers couldn't see. He lfted his face slowly and looked to a roasting apple. after a few moments his horned gave a purple aura off and his magic surrounded the apple and lifted into the air.

"Ha! it's working!" The odd stallion cheered.with his friend. Twilight didn't see the point of celebration. He just lifted an apple.

Suddenly The redmane mare stopped cheering. 'well at least she figured there was no need to celebrate' Twilight thought.

"Waaaaiiiit! If you need a horn to do magic and I don't have one then-"

"You wont be able to use your magic" Rythian finished for her eyes wide again, deep in thought.

'she's a pegasus! you should have known this!' twilight couldn't stand this stallon's idiocy.

"just give me demonstration of magic and when we get back go into little details." Rythian snapped out of his panic attack like she read his mind. "also your forgetting." She pointed at her fake hoof. What did he forget about it?

"I added teleportation and shield mods to it so i should be fine." She smiled at him, she seemed quite nice. But what did she mean by teleportation and shield mods? What are those? Isn't that magic?!

"Ok, fine" he said in defeat. "but you do exactly as I say, ok?"

"Yeppers!" 'Oh no, not a Pinkie phrase' twilight mentally groaned

"ok then, lets pack up."

"girls, get ready." Twilight whispered to the group, who nodded in understanding. Twilight then noticed Pinkie had some how been quiet throughout the entirety of the time.

"Pinkie, what are you doing?"

"I'm drawing them as humans. You know the things Lyra keeps talking about?"

Pinkie didn't even know what humans looked like. But she drew the cover art so who am I to judge?

five minutes later

"Ok, let's go!" Rythian said. But before he could move the dragon thing growl defensively.

"Zoey stop, stay still." Rythian said in a cold voice. 'Zoey' crashed down face first.

"whats happenning?" said 'Zoey', eyes wide in panic.

"Teep saw something moving, Teep fire a warning shot. Zoey get ready to teleport" Oh Celestia they've been found. Twilight started to sweat in confusion and fear.

And then the world exploded.

*KER-THUUM*

Author's Note

Oh yes, shit's bout to get real!

So yeah, Pinkie drew the cover art, she's also she with me.
Say hi Pinkie
"Hi!"
So how do you feel about meeting the gang?
"Excited! But I gotta go plan the party right now. So...ThanksOnikaybye!"
...Why not.

Chapter 2: Magic Kombat!

*KA-THUUM*

"AHHH!" Five of the mares screamed in unison. Pinkie Pie just stood stock-still. Her face going through four emotions: The first was fear, the second confusion, the third realization, and the fourth one pure rage.

"They wouldn't..." She whispered. Believing 'they' were more professional than that. "...They would. Oh they're just asking for trouble down there." You could see veins pulsing on her fore-head. It was priceless.

"Alright fillies, they're clearly hostle. So grab your elements!" Twilight instructed the five other mares. Who made for the box. Pinkie being the most reluctant, an odd lack of enthusiasm for the normally energetic pony,

"Um, pardon me Twilight but my necklace isn't in here. Niether is Fluttershy's or Pinkie's

"What?!" Twilight and Pinkie shouted in sync. Pinkie more hysterical. Twilight continued. "Why arn't they in there? I asked spike to pack them fo-oh Celestia he's trying to eat them." Twilight made a mental note: Scold Spike into next tuesday.
~#~#~
All three elements had a unique, angelic taste that Spike couldn't put his finger on.

He had stopped attempting to chomp down on them because they kept blasting him into the opposite side of the room, but they all had a unique way of catapulting him. The kunzite Element of Kindness only sent him half way across the room, the Element of Laughter always made him happy and relaxed, and the Element of Generosity(unlike the other two) left a lasting taste. Quite a nice one too.

"I hope Twilight didn't need these." spike said to himself, as he licked the Element of Laughter a tenth or thirteenth time.
~#~#~
"Whatever!" Twilight declared. "We still have the Element of Honesty," She gave the citrine embedded necklace to Apple Jack. "Loyalty," She flung the garnet jewled necklace to Rainbow Dash "And Magic." She then donned her own amethyst Tiara.

"And he left the most aggressive Element Bearers to fight them! Celestia Damn them!" Pinkie has never been this...angry before. The mares were utterly confused and scared of the normally friendly pony. But after a few moments of fuming. She calmed down, but was still angered by something. "I need to make a call, excuse me." Was all the party mare said before trotting away.

"Okay...anyways. AJ, you're the strongest so you're gonna have to take the green thing. RD, deal with the pegasus. I'll deal with the unicorn and we'll finally get answers!" The three jumped out of the bush, ready to fight.
~#~#~
"AHHH!"
Five voices, all of them sounded female.

Rythian hated being outnumbered. Bein a small group had it's ups and downs but one of the worst things is that in actual head on combat against larger forces was a pain. So Rythian always made sure, wether they were outnumbered or not, they always outgunned everything.

But they needed answers if they wanted to survive and prosper here. And...whatever these things they were gonna give him an answer. Or Notch help him dammit they were getting their butts kicked all over the place!

"Teep." Rythian said "Use a stun gun if they choose to fight, no fatalities. We want answers, not bodies." Teep nodded his head and did a mock salute. [Yes, sir.] Grinning like a goof.

Rythian smiled under his mask and turned to Zoey. "I need you to fly up and give air support. You did plug in that net modification, right?" Zoey gave him a flat look.

"You don't pay any real attention to what I tell you, don't you?" She asked sarcastically.
"You don't pay any real attention to what I teach you, don't you?" Zoey winced at that. "let's forget the past and move to the future." She quickly replied. Rythian rolled his sky-blue, glowing eyes. "Riiiiiiight. Try not to injured them too drastically. They may-"

"What counts as drastically." He sighed at that. "Anything higher but not disincluding dismembering body parts, but don't do anything worse than punching or tazing if you don't need to. Clear?"

"Clear!" She nodded. Ok, this'll be easy. Easy as pie.

Then Teep was tackled into the thick of the woods.

"Teep!" Both ex-minecraftians shouted in unison. A moment later a cyan blur with a rainbow trail rushed at insane speeds towards Zoey. Not wanting to deal with that, Zoey flew upwards at speeds to match the blur. And they went into the right direction. "Notch dammit!" Rythian groaned to the Aether. this is not part of the plan. Now he was left alone. And probably...

"Hey!" Called a voice. He turned to the newcomer. What he saw was a lavander unicorn with dark blue hair, with purple and pink highlights. It wore a tiara with a jewel he's never seen before. "Stop in the name of the princess!"

Rythian contemplated what to do in this situation. He figured Zoey could take on...whatever that was, and Teep was Teep so he'll beat anything. So he concluded: "...You know what? Fuck it. I am gonna get answers from you and your friends either way. so let's do this!" He drew a quite blunt thaumian blade, levetating it by the handle. And a Cloak of Distortion, levetating that by the colar. "Get ready!" And then he charged at her.
~#~#~
Teep AKA the Greenman vs Applejack the Element of Honesty
Round 1: Fight!

AJ quickly spun around a bucked the dragon creature making its weapon go flying out of its claws and land in the bushes behind them. After getting staggered backwards he looked at her and growled

[Do you really want to do this?]. She realised that he may be trying to communicate but after all the response she gave was a confused look she thought to try and talk this out be replying.

“Umm…Yes?” She said. It just looked at her with a look of anger and determination before charging towards her. She quickly jumped to the side and made it go running past her and hit its head on a tree. She jumped towards it and grabbed round its neck with her forehoofs while it tried to shake her off by running about.

“YEEHAWW! Giddy up there partner” She said, taunting it, and giving it the anger to use the force to throw her off. It then grabbed her by the neck and slammed her head first into a tree several times until she bucked him, making him stagger and drop her. She then bucked him several more times until she used her element to enhance her kick and she sent him flying into the same bush his weapon flew into, seemingly knocking him out.

Applejack wins.
~#~#~
Zoey AKA Red vs Rainbow Dash the Element of Loyalty
Round 1: Fight!

"You're mine!" Rainbow Dash declared. Knowing she could take on this...weird...robot thing-whatever. It didn't matter what she was. She was gonna drop out of the sky!

"But...I don't like you that way." The strange mare responded. Now Rainbow did expect a comeback, but one more the lines of 'you'll never defeat me!' This just took her back. She went Wide eyed, mouth opening and closing looking for something to say back but failing. It took several moments of blushing, sputtering and rapid blinking before Rainbow could retort.

"Not that way!" She yelled. Having her sexuality questioned was not the best way to help her confusion about it.

"Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure." 'Zoey' nodded slowly. Rainbow couldn't tell if she was truly accepting it or if she was still poking at her. It was hard to tell with the conflicting face and voice. However Rainbow finnaly decided to change the topic and get back on track: The beatdown.

"That doesn't matter, you are going down!" Rainbow Came back from daze with her old boastfullness.

Zoey then did something very unlike herself. She cracked a smirk and pulled a taunt that sent Rainbow Dash at full speed towards her in a fit of rage.

"...Bring it horsey."

Zoey wins
~#~#~
"This is outrageous!" Rarity wasn't all too pleased with these stranger's or her friend's behaivour. " You're first reaction to meeting someone new is to fight them!? What right do you have!" However the only person who could hear her right now was Fluttershy, who was bawling her eyes out.

"Fluttershy dear, don't worry. Everything will be fine" Rarity assured the terrified pegasus."They can take care of themselves and they'll come back safe and sound."

"They just wanted to be left alone! They just wanted us to go away!" Fluttershy, while all the pones around her was focusing on being spotted, focused on the words 'warning shot', which she was pretty sure meant go away. She was all for it but then suddenly everypony had decided what to do, and then they started fighting.

That poor creature was now fighting Applejack. It was going to get hurt badly.

"Why do they have to fight?" Fluttershy cried to the sky.

Meanwhile, quite far away from this, Pinkie pulled out a strange device from her mane. It had a glass screen and a pink body.

She pushed a button and screen came to life. The machine did a small chime and displayed the word Apple with the image of a grey, bitten apple next to it. She then did a random series of tapping on the screen and pressed the part of the screen that displayed 'Call'. A series of beeps came before a voice coming from the device spoke.

"Pinkie? How did you get my number?" The voice asked, clearly confused.

"Shadow, why is this a fighting chapter?" Pinkie hissed at this 'Shadow'. Quite angry over a fight happening between the new ponies and her friends. "Who did this?"

"Hey i'm just the co-writer! Complain to Oni, not me!" The voice clearly didn't want to deal with this. Obviously having this happen to him alot.

"Fine! Sorry, it isn't your fault. Sorry." Pinkie sighed, then pressed the part of the screen that said 'end-call'. and the voice disapeared. Now it was tme to talk to this...Oni.
~#~#~
Teep AKA the Greenman vs Applejack the Element of Honesty
Round 2: Fight!

While The orang pony was celebrating her victory, Teep had been hiding in the bushes she knocked him into attempting to find his Barrett. He knew that Rythian had told him to not use his weapon against her, but he was just damn fed up by this point and was going to shoot her in the leg so she couldn't buck him any more.

It took him quite a while to find his weapon, and he got quite scratched while doing so, but he eventually did. He crept out of the bushes slowly as to not alert the pony but noticed he couldn't see her anywhere. He looked down and saw the pony just before she bucked him again, making his weapon fly into the bushes. Again.

[OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!] He roared, overtaken by rage that he would have to find that damn thing again. He noticed she was going for another kick but grabbed her legs mid-buck and picked her up. He span around, hitting her into a tree several times, before throwing her onto the ground, climbing on top of her, and pushing her repeatedly for several minutes, long after she was knocked out. Then, after his fit of rage wore off, he went back into the shrubs to find his rifle. Again. He had a feeling this was going to be be a long day.

Teep wins

BRUTALITY
~#~#~
Zoey AKA Red vs Rainbow Dash the Element of Loyalty
Round 2: Fight!

Now that Zoey thought of it, it probably wasn't the best idea to taunt the rainbow horse. But she can have fun like everbody else can't she? Still, not the best idea she's ever had. However it did rank above powering her robot hand turned hoof with choclate milk.

Yeah more on that later.

For the last ten minutes she'd been dodging and weaving all over the place. Jeb, this girl was relentless. "Look, i'm really sorry about what I said!" Zoey yelled behind her. She really was aswell. "I was being childish and I would like to make it up to you. So please stop chasing me!" However her plea must have fallen on deaf ears, she thought so anyway, because all she got was fear inducing scream as responce.

"I know! I'm sorry! Maybe we can fix this over coffe!" Zoey just then notice how fast they were going. Her adapted scanner said they were moving at MACH 5. That is impressive for an organic life form. More than impressive, it was amazing! Zoey risked a glance back at her persuer. And saw something unbelivable.

She left a rainbow explosion behind her in a big boom. And was now moving at MACH 10.

"Oh that's just cheat-". She never finished that sentence.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how Zoey got punched by something moving at MACH 10.

Rainbow Dash wins

BRUTALITY
~#~#~
Pinkie put in a different pattern of numbers this time, seemingly to reach a different person. She pressed 'Call' again and waited a couple of seconds.

"Yeah?" A new voice answered this time. But to Pinkie it was the familiar, arrogant, easy-going voice she had come to expect. The voice of the man known as Oni.

"A fighting chapter! In the second chapter! Celestia damn it what are you thnking!?" Pinkie yelled into the device. Apparantly it was a lot more than her friends getting hurt that had angered her. "It's way too early in the story for this!"

"Seriously Pinkie you need to chillax." The voice was obviously not too concerned with Pinkie Pie's rage. Yep. Same arrogant, easy-going voice. "And may I remind you madam that on this line we use a little word called god. Now repeat after me, god damn it."

"I don't have time for this! You hurt my friends and you don't have the decency to do it chapter 5!" Pinkie protested.

"Listen!" He hissed, silencing her. "This is my story so I shall do it my way! Now if you excuse me, you seem to have more important things to do."

"Oh don't you-" She was suddenly interrupted when a 'boom' rocked the sky. "...I hate you."

"Kaythanksbyeeeeee~" And then the voice stopped.

Pinkie spent several moments venting her rage. By the end she was out of breath and feeling light headed. She came up with one word, one generalisation, to point her rage at "...Demons" She huffed, then bounced to her friends.
~#~#~
Final battle

Rythian AKA Shadow vs Twilight the Element of Magic.

1 Round: Fight!

Rythian swung the dull sword at Twilight, not aimng to hit more-so than intimidate. However before it was even a metre from her she teleported ten feet away. Rythian was surprised, apparantly they didn't need anything to channel magic into. No ring, no sword, nothing.

'Next their gonna cast spells.' Rythian thought. He chuckled at the idea of a horse casting magic from children's stories.

Instead of pulling the sword out of the ground, he had a...fairer idea. "Pick it up."

"Wai-what?" Twilight wasn't expecting the masked unicorn to just gve her the sword he was just swinging at her. She didn't see any reasoning for it. Maybe it's soul bound and would kill her if she tried to use it. Or maybe it was about to break. She didn't know, but it was probably gonna be a cheap tactic to secure an easy victory.

Rythian on the other hand. "I have another dull one, i'm just giving it to you to make this a fair fight." Rythian really didn't want to hurt her. Or was it a him? Different dimensions mean differnt rules.

"And what's stopping me from just shooting you with my magic?" Twilight also didn't want to hurt him, maybe just use a sleep spell on him to knock him out. Killing is wrong no matter what.

"Well, your welcome to try." Rythian grinned. She wouldn't just pick it up wthout trying something else first. A rational thinker. Not someone hot headed and willing to prove themselves strong. He pulled the Cloak of distortion closer to him. But only so that it covered his left half . "but you'll miss. Without a doubt."

Twilight was mesmerised by the cloak. The way it phazed into different colours. Blue, pink, red, green.Even if she wasn't Rarity, she saw something quite beautiful. 'Being used by a fighter.' Twilight thought. Such a waste of an interesting material. She aimed her horn at him, and sent a burst of magic flying towards him. He swished the cloak infornt of him and...disappeared?

Rythian teleported behind Twilight silently, pulling another dull sword from his bag. He went
to butt her/him with his sword hilt.For a quick knock-out, and easy victory. Unfortunately this tactic had to be disregarded due to the fact that he hit an invisible shield.

"Dammit!" Rythian cursed, bouncing back and teleporting into the air in order to avoid the purple horse.

Twilight however had been expecting this, and slashed at him wth the dulled weapon. Only to be parried by his own. He swished his cape again only inches from twilight's muzzle. Now several hooves infront of her. He appeared to not only untired but energetic. 'A pony of fighting.' Twilight reminded herself. Not a normal pony.

Rythian, for his part, was impressed. The only other thing who's ever fought him this well was Teep, and he was a trigger happy dinosaur! But this unicorn proved itself able to keep on level ground. Almost unbelivable. Then again, maybe she's just giving it her all. She is sweating profusely...How is she doing that? The sweat particles are acting like they were moving across skin. But they clearly had fur on their bodies. He wandered if-

"What are you doing?" Twilight asked. The unicorn in front of her was just getting ready to charge again, but then he stopped and started looking nto the sky as if distracted by something. He was really wierd. Then again, she had seen wierder. A certain draconequus crossed her mind.

Twilight just then remembered...why arn't her friends here yet? Shouldn't they be helping her deal with this guy by now?

"I'm sorry to disturb your train of thought but I gotta rap this up." Rythian wasn't threatening the violet equine, just stating what was gonna happen. He removed his Wand of Lightning, not to kill her, just a quick shock to finish this. He aimed and began concentrating his magic.

Twilight was havng similar thoughts. She needed to finsh this for the sake of her friends. A simple paralysis spell would do the trick. She aimed her horn and concentrated the spell through her horn. Full intent on finishing this.

They fired at the same time. Twilight's power amplified through her tiara, Rythian...well he's Rythian.

The beam and lightning ark collided, conflicting magics touching. This doesn't happen often, or ever for that matter. What did happen was thaumancy was released into the world in a flux explosion. Every unicorn, changeling and alicorn felt it.
~#~#~
In the royal courtroom. Celestia and Luna had succeeded in negotiations in the dragons, and were celebrating along with Ultheyr the chairman of the dragon council.

"A toast to wonderful relatio-woooooooooooooooooooow." The feeling Celestia was feeling right now was best described as pure, unbrideled ecstacy. But stronger. From the looks of her sister's and all present unicorn's faces, they could feel it too.

"Princess? What are you doing?" Chairman Ultheyr questioned. Looking nervously at the now grinning, drooling mess. Unfortunately the only reply the sun mover could make was a gurgle. Unknown to her, the closer one got to the source of the flux at that time, the stronger the effect it would have on it's victim.

Needless to say, Rarity and Twilight passed out in spasms. Rythian meanwhile, was forced to feel the magic native to the world. But, being the half enderman he is he simply blacked out silently.

This world was royally screwed.
~#~#~

Hi! I'm Oni! And i'd like you to meet my co- writer shadow.
Sup.
The proofreader Serefin.
Hello.
And Pink-OW WHAT THE FUCK!
YOU'RE AN IDIOT!
Yeah she's not happy with me right now. Oh well! See ya!