Evan woke up from his slumber.

“Grugroifdg,” was all Evan got out, as he tossed and turned in his bed. He couldn’t find the comfortable area he found previously, so he decided to get out of his bed.

I wonder what time it is.

Evan swiveled around to look at his alarm clock. 2:32 AM. Damn.

“Argh, I can’t go back to sleep. Might as well do something to get tired again," concluded Evan. So he headed towards the kitchen downstairs.

Evan was 22, and he had one brother who was 20. They were pretty alike, except for the fact that Evan was normal, while Mike, his brother, was a…brony. Evan had concluded when he found out about Mike, that brony were not real people, and were considered aliens. And Mike could be a bit immature when it came to serious things. But not Evan. He only had testosterone in his body, and he was 100% male.

Evan continued towards the kitchen, thinking about maybe drinking some warm milk or something. Whatever to go back to sleep. Until Evan passed by his brother’s room, and saw him in deep sleep, cuddling a rainbow pony plush toy thing.

“Ugh,” Evan said in disgust, until a brilliant idea came into his mind.

Maybe I can vandalize one of his million posters of the girly ponies, and laugh when he freaks out!

When he decided that it was a good idea, he tiptoed to his room, and got a sharpie. He creeped into his brother’s room, and tried to determine which of the posters would be best to destroy. He looked around, until he noticed one specific poster with several ponies on it. “This seems as good as any.” And with that said, Evan took off the cap on the sharpie, and headed towards the poster.

Evan was just about to put pen to poster, until Mike made a sudden movement. Evan froze, and slowly turned his head towards the direction of noise. Apparently, it seemed like he changed his plushie from the gay rainbow pony, to a completely pink pony. Evan quickly debated in his head which one was gayer, until he continued with the task at hand. Once he touched the sharpie to the poster, everything happened in a flash.

...

Evan literally went THROUGH the poster when he touched his sharpie to it. Once he realized what happened, he looked around to see that he was falling. Evan was still in shock about what was happening, until it hit him. The ground that is.

“ARGH!” yelled out Evan, and he nursed his arm (which he fell on). The pain eventually subsided, and he took a look around.

“Where the fuck am I?” Evan questioned to nobody in general. He hoped for an answer, but of course, no answer came.

Evan was in the middle of a grassy field it seemed. Some mountains were in front of him, but they were a long distance off. He looked around, and noticed a town in the distance. He knew he would probably end up going there, but he continued to look around. Evan saw that the sky was pretty clear, and it shouldn’t rain or do some weird stuff for a while.

After Evan got a hold of his surroundings, he got up, winced a bit at the pain, and headed off in the direction of the town. Evan still had no fucking clue what was going on, but he knew he would probably find some answers from the town.

…

Holy shit I’m still not even close to the town. This is taking forever.

Evan had been walking for around 30 minutes, but it had felt like 5 years to him. He was really getting ticked off the further he went, and knew he didn’t want to walk in all pissed and get in trouble. First impressions were everything after all.

Evan continued to ponder for a while, until he was forced to the ground one more time by an accelerating mass. Evan didn’t even comprehend what happened, until he looked up, and saw the weirdest fucking thing ever.

What the fuck am I looking at? It’s a creature with 4 legs, a head, and a tail. And it’s fucking pink. Completely fucking pink.

Evan, with his eyes in shock, watched the…thing… step off of him.

The whole of its body was pink. Every fucking thing, except for the eyes. I'm surprised that the eyes were not pink though. Or the teeth. It had cotton candy on its – wait is that hair? Holy shit, that was totally cotton candy. I could reach out and…wait what am I thinking? Why would I eat the hair off a – OH!

Evan realized what it looked like – a horse! It was a bit small, maybe somewhat of a baby. That made sense. It was probably eating, and decided to take a run or something. Whatever. Who gives a shit?

Evan kept watching the thing, until its eyes popped in realization that he was looking at it. Wait, pop?

“Oh my! I’m so sorry! I was just taking minding my own business, galloping around in the field to wear out all the sugar I ate, until I saw you at the last second, and then SLAM! I ran into you. Wait, what are you? I don’t know what you are. Or who. Or how. Or when! Of course, that’s only used for a – oh sorry, am I rambling?” the horse thingy said.

“What in the hell is going on. Where the fuck am I? How the fuck are you talking? What the fuck are you?” Evan rambled, completely confused at the scene he was seeing.

“Oh that’s easy! Well, from what I can see, the thing that is going on, is that you are talking to me! To answer your where are you question, you are in the outskirts of Ponyville, in the rightful land of Equestria. To answer your question about how I am talking, it’s simple! With my mouth silly! Unless you want to go more in depth about which muscles and such you use to talk. And to answer what I am, I am a pony! A funzastic pony!” concluded the pony.

“Oh thanks, that makes total sense. A fucking pony being able to speak, and I’m in some land that I’m pretty sure doesn’t exist on Earth. I must be sleeping, and me waking up was some messed up dream. Well, thanks, now I’m just going to pinch myself awake,” said Evan, who then got himself ready for pinching.

“Okee dokie lokie!” answered the pink infected pony.

Wait, what did the pony just say?

“What did you just say?” asked Evan.

“I said ‘Okee dokie lokie!’ It’s the equivalent of a yes, but with more fun words!” said the pony.

Wait. Didn’t Mike used to say that for some things? And when I asked about it, he always said it was from the show he worships, and I would just dismiss it? Oh my god. I hope I’m not where I think I am. Oh yeah, this was just a dream. Just going to pinch myself awake now.

Evan then pinched himself as hard as he could.

“Son of a…FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!” Evan hollered in pain.

“You can’t be the son of a verb silly! It has to be a person of some sort!” said the pony.

Holy shit. Could this actually be real? I pray to the gods of every religion that it is not. This is the least of my worries at the moment, and I can’t deal with this right now. Or ever.

“So..yea.. I never quite caught your name?” asked Evan.

“Of course! I forgot to say my name! My name is Pinkie Pie!”

I should’ve seen the name having the word “Pink” in it somehow. Go figure.

“So..umm Pinkie Pie, where do you live? Mind if I come so I can find out what the fucking hell is going on?” questioned Evan once again.

“Sure as cranberry pie! I live in that town close by – it’s where all my friends are!” Pinkie Pie smiled at Evan, a grin that Evan knew wasn’t possible.

Wait, friends? I don’t know what to expect… I hope the only friends she has are not ponies, but humans. But if they were, they would probably be mad scientists, granting the gift of speech to ponies, and have an army of them ready to travel to Earth for an invasion or something.

…

As Evan and Pinkie were walking, Pinkie looked frustrated, and seemed like she wanted to say something. Evan caught on to this.

“Is there something you want to say Pinkie?” Evan asked.

“Oh, it’s noth…WHATAREYOU,” Pinkie Pie said in a rush.

“Umm, I’m a human. I hope you know that..?” asked Evan unsurely.

“Nope-y-dee-doo! I have absolutely NO idea!” answered the pony to Evan’s dismay.

“Well shit.” And there went Evan’s hope for there being humans.

“Anyways…I sort of need some help. You see, things that are an unknown species don’t usually take walks in grassy fields. I sort of fell through a portal to here. Do you have any idea how this could have happened, and if there was a way to get me back to my original world..universe...dimension?” questioned Evan, hoping for a good answer.

“Hmm, I don – oh wait! My friend Twilight is very smart! She is the smartest pony I know! She could probably help out!” Pinkie Pie said enthusiastically.

“Oh that sounds great! Just show me where your friend would be, and I could go ask her!” concluded Evan.

“Ok! We are almost here!”

Evan then walked into a town, full of ponies staring wide-eyed at him.

What the fuck?

Author's Note

Thanks for reading! Hoped you had some laughs ;)

Also, I chose Pinkie Pie, because she knows everybody, and could maybe make Evan feel welcome of some sort. I felt like I sort of rushed, but I'll make sure to make it much longer for the next chapter. I just wanted to introduce everything that is happening.

Thanks again!