Of Goddesses and Failures

Blade sat alone in his little cottage, the moon shining through his one window as he tried to sleep. Of course he couldn't. Celestia was right. It was far too easy to kill somepony in Equestria. There's not much to worry about. All you have to do is actually kill them, and unless you do it in plain sight, there's very little chance anypony will know about it for a long time. That's because they have no means of finding you. Most hoofprints look the same, so there's no chance they can track you based off of that. Getting a list of possible suspects is even harder because the list would go on and on. But there was a deeper problem. Murder wasn't taken seriously. Equestria, in the eyes of many, was the shining example of purity and honor. If you told another that you had seen somepony murdered, they'd probably send you to a rehab center or ask that you have your eyes checked. It was something that was almost laughed at in Equestria. That was the sad part. As Celestia had said, you could get away with so much because society simply thought that it would never happen. Every nation had a seedy underbelly, and Equestria was no exception. It was almost sad; Equestria didn't live up to the expectations the world had set for it. But Blade wondered something. Did the police not try? Ponies had long before advanced their technology, albeit through magic, but nonetheless, you would think some of that aid would go into the local authority. What hadn't they been helped? Was Celestia holding out on funds she kept either for herself or some other cause? That wasn't it though, Blade thought. It dawned on him. It was because no one understood murder. It wasn't a matter of not caring, but rather a matter of not knowing. None of them could possibly understand the motive behind murder. The worst that had probably happened in the past years was Discord being turned to stone, and even then it didn't last forever. They were all, blind, ignorant fools. To them, Equestria is a utopia of happiness and freedom. To Blade, that's not what it was. Just a marred interpretation of a horrible nation. It wasn't the nation, he thought. The nation is pure. Law enforcement simply has nothing to do. They can't make advances because....It wasn't the nation. It wasn't the citizens. It wasn't even Celestia. It was him.

Sure, he thought. Celestia is the evil one behind this all. She's having me do this. I don't have a choice. You idiot, his conscience told him. You have a choice. No, no. I don't. This is all I have. Take back what you lost. Take back everything they took from you! Kill them, kill every foolish, wastebasket of filth there is. Red and grey, silver of the blade. Spill his blood, the debt is paid. You're a failure, failure, reject, useless, foolish, idio- NO! Blade slammed against the wall, pounding his fist against it in anger, tears streaming down his face. Is this all I am, he thought. Is killing all I'm good for? He looked up staring at the wall, a grim look on his face. I can't be just this. He knew that's all he was, though. He hadn't done a thing in his life that was of any use. He wasn't a liberator. He didn't gain anything from this. All he did was kill one pony to keep his head up. He was a murderer. I'm the problem with Equestria. Celestia may order me, but I made the choice. I'm the one who said that this is what I was going to do. Slamming his fist against the wall again, he growled.

"I will make my choices now." And murder wasn't what he had in mind. He was going to run. Running, run this way and that way. Keep running. Run, because it's all you've got, and it's all you'll ever have. But how do you run from your responsibilities? You can't. You let it take over you.