We can do this the easy way, or. . .
The waiting room was full of ponies waiting to get their flu shots. Nurse Redheart was calling each pony in one at a time to give them their shot.
“Twilight Sparkle?” she called.
“Present!” Twilight raised her hoof.
Redheart groaned. “I just need you to come in the treatment room.”
“Oh, this is so exciting!” She got out of her chair and crossed the hospital lobby. “So, are they using live or inactivated viruses this year?”
“Twilight, it’s the same eve—”
“But it’s not the same! There are new strains, and I heard they may stop using chicken eggs due to allergies. Is that true?”
“Well, I have hea—”
“So, are they still immunizing against the monkey flu?” Twilight jumped up onto the treatment table.
Redheart’s eye twitched as she got out the shot and an alcohol swab. “Just hold still while I—”
“What a coincidence! I read all about giving intramuscular shots in a book last night. The trick is to go at a ninety degree angle with a 23 gauge needle approximately one inch—OW!” Twilight squealed.
Nurse Redheart had jabbed her in the arm, injected the shot, and pulled it back out. “All done. Next!” she shouted.
“But don’t I get a cartoon Band-Aid or some candy?” Twilight asked.
Redheart bit her lip as her eyelid twitched again. “Ms. Sparkle, you are twenty-two years old. I’m not giving you a Band-Aid or any candy.”
“Aww, I’ll just use one of my own Smarty Pants Band-Aids. I always carry a first aid kit!”
Twilight trotted out of the room and sat down to retrieve a Band-Aid from the saddlebag she had left on her chair. She then left the hospital.
“Next on the list is,” Redheart read out loud,”Rainbow Dash!”
Everypony looked around the lobby but she was nowhere to be found.
“Ms. Dash?” she repeated.
After another moment of awkward silence, she shook her head and moved on. “Alright, moving on: Fluttershy!”
There was a whispered ‘yay’ from across the room as she got out of her chair and trotted over.
Nurse Redheart thought nothing of it, and got back to work.
It had been three days and the hospital had compiled of list of ponies who didn’t show up to get their shot. The Chief of Medicine had sent Nurse Redheart out in town with a saddlebag full of flu shots. He told her not to come back until she hunted down and immunized the delinquent ponies. He authorized her to use any necessary force to ensure every pony got vaccinated against the monkey flu.
Of course, the first name on the list was Rainbow Dash. Nurse Redheart figured she would need help for this one and went to see Twilight. Once she had reached the Library, she knocked on the door.
“Coming!” Spike shouted. A moment later the door opened up. “Oh, hi Nurse Redheart!”
“Hello, Spike! is Twilight here?” Redheart asked.
“Yeah, she’s making some tea.” Spike turned around, “Hey Twilight, it’s for you!”
“Give me a minute, Spike!” Twilight yelled back.
“She says—”
“I heard, Spike. Thanks,” Redheart said.
“Well, come in and have a seat.” Spike opened the door and let her in.
Redheart sat down at the table and a minute later Twilight came out with some tea. She sat down across from her at the table and poured them both a drink.
“What great timing! I just finished tea and was about to read a book about intraosseous shots,” Twilight said.
“That’s certainly. . . unique,” Redheart said with a slight grin. “I’m here on business. As you know, we have to immunize every pony against the monkey flu. If we don’t—”
“Then we won’t have community protection!” Twilight finished for her. “Dash could get sick, and even with the immunization she could spread it to the fillies or the elderly! The virus could mutate; ponies could die! Oh Celestia, this is horrible!”
Redheart hid her annoyance at always being interrupted behind one of her patented nursing smiles. They never failed to make a patient believe she genuinely cared for their well-being. To be fair, she usually did, but flu season wasn’t exactly the highlight of her year as far as nursing went.
“Yes, so I checked Ms. Dash’s record and she has trypanophobia,” Redheart said.
“What’s that?” Spike asked.
“Fear of needles,” Twilight answered.
“So, I’d like you to invite her over for. . .” Redheart looked around and giggled. “Tea. Invite her over for tea. Then, once she gets here, make sure all the doors and windows are locked and leave the rest to me.”
“That sounds a little extreme,” Spike said.
“Don’t be silly, Spike,” Twilight scolded. “Dash had all week to get her shot, but instead I bet she’s been deliberately avoiding it! This is for her own good!”
Redheart couldn’t help but imagine Twilight as a Nurse. Her determination, knowledge, and endless attention to detail would serve her well. Unfortunately, the nursing staff would be driven crazy by her OCD and constant need for approval.
“I’m on it, be right back!” Twilight said. She went out the front door and flew off towards Rainbow’s house.
“Well, I’ll start by locking all the windows,” Spike said. He went upstairs to start from the top of the library.
Redheart sat there and enjoyed some of her tea while she waited. There were hints of lemon and chamomile, and she soon found her cup empty.
Spike came back down and finished by locking the back door and windows in the kitchen, then putting the key away in the kitchen pantry. “We’re all set now, the only thing unlocked is the front door.”
With impeccable timing, the front door swung open and Dash walked through. “Where is it?” Dash asked impatiently.
“It’s right here,” Redheart said, pointing at the tea.
“Not that, the advance copy of Daring Do!” Dash exclaimed.
Twilight locked the door behind them and hid the key. “I had to tell her a new book came out to get her over here,” Twilight said.
“Huh?” Dash asked. “Over here for what?”
Redheart put on her best smile and spoke gently. “Dash, we need to immunize you against the monkey flu. Otherwise, you could get very sick.”
Dash’s jaw fell agape and her eyes went wide. “Uh, no thanks!” She turned to open the door and leave, only to find it locked. “What? This isn’t funny, Twilight!”
“It’ll only take a second, just ask Twilight,” Redheart stated.
“Yeah, Dash, she stabbed me so quick I didn’t eve—”
“Gah!” Dash interrupted. “I don’t want to be stabbed!”
She flew over to the nearest window and collided with it, hit her head, and collapsed to the floor. She then ran into the kitchen to the back door, only to find it locked. By the time Twilight and Redheart walked in, she was pounding on the window over the sink.
“No! You can’t do this! I have the right to not get shot!” She began hyperventilating, and stared at Redheart. Dash’s pupils had dilated, and her wings were flared and ready for flight.
“Please, calm down,” Redheart cooed. “Everypony has to get one. Why, even little Scootaloo got her shot without crying.”
“I don’t cry!” Dash pouted. “I just don’t like needles!”
“You don’t have to look. I promise it’s just a pinch,” she replied.
“That was what they said last time they tricked me, when I had to get the hippopotamus B shot!”
“Hepatitis B, Dash.” Twilight rolled her eyes.
Redheart took a couple steps closer slowly. “I promise, Ms. Dash, that I’ll take good care of you.”
“Don’t come any closer!” Dash looked around, seeing the doorway to the library lobby open. She jumped in the air and flew out into the atrium and headed upstairs.
“Quick, after her!” Twilight shouted.
Redheart and she ran upstairs. They heard a loud racket as they approached the upstairs library, which had a dozen bookshelves and hundreds of books.
Dash was flying around and being chased by Spike. She kept colliding with bookshelves, scattering books everywhere. Finally, she climbed behind some books on the top shelf and hid, her magenta eyes surveying the room from her perch.
“Come on down, Dash! this could have been over already,” Twilight said.
“I don’t wanna! Now you all know I’m scared of needles. I’ll never get in the Wonderbolts!”
Redheart stepped forward and tried another smile on the pegasus. “Ms. Dash, nopony here is going to tell anypony you’re afraid of needles. Come down and let me get this over with.”
In the blink of an eye, she pushed off the bookshelf and flew away. A shower of books fell down on Redheart. While she recovered, Twilight and Spike chased Dash into Twilight’s bedroom.
Redheart followed them in as Twilight closed the door, locked it, and handed the key to Spike. “It’s over, Rainbow Dash! You’re trapped here, so let us give you the shot.”
Dash turned and pounded frantically on her bedroom window. After a few moments of this, she turned around and shrank back against the wall. “Please! I promise not to get the monkey flu! I don’t even like monkeys!”
Redheart sighed and shook her head. “Twilight, I’m going to need a hoof. You read in your book about how we give shots to difficult fillies?”
Twilight’s eyes lit up and she smiled. “I sure did, Nurse Redheart! I’m on it!”
Dash’s eyes darted between the ponies. She had no way out as Twilight levitated a blanket off the bed. Redheart and Twilight closed in on Dash, cornering her. Spike tried, and failed, to stifle his laughter. Dash glared at him until he stopped.
“Ms. Dash, will you relax and let us do this?” Redheart asked.
Twilight held the blanket in the air at the ready.
“No! You’ll never catch me!” Dash jumped in the air and began flying in circles around the room. Redheart and Spike could only watch as she darted from one side of the room to the other.
Finally, Twilight caught her with the blanket, quickly wrapping it around her wings and legs. She levitated Dash onto the bed, and adjusted the blanket until it was rolled around her.
Dash’s muzzle, left foreleg, right hindleg, and tail were poking out of the blanket. She began throwing a temper tantrum. “You can’t do this! I’ll tell Celestia! She’ll banish you all to the moon!”
“All done,” Redheart said.
Dash looked at her leg and gasped. Sure enough, Redheart had pinned her leg to the bed, and given her the shot. She was now applying a Daring Do Band-Aid. Once she was done, Twilight released her grip on the blanket.
“What? How’d you do that? Was that some sort of magic needle?” Dash asked.
“I told you it wouldn’t be so bad,” Redheart answered. “The trick is not to think about it.”
Dash laughed. “I knew that it was uh. . . an act! I was just pulling a prank on you guys.”
“Fat chance!” Spike shouted. He then fell over laughing. After a few moments he regained enough composure to speak. “She w-was pounding t-the window and whining like a filly!”
“Spike, that’s very rude!” Twilight said.
“But it’s t-true!” he squealed.
Redheart groaned and pulled out her list of ponies who hadn’t gotten their immunizations yet. She crossed out ‘Rainbow Dash’ and looked at the next name on the list.
“Spike, it’s your turn,” Redheart said.
His laughter vanished instantly as his eyes went wide in terror, and Rainbow Dash burst out laughing.
“But I’m a dragon! you’re only supposed to give shots to ponies!” Spike pleaded.
“Dragons can catch monkey flu too, Spike,” Redheart stated.
“It’s true,” Twilight said.
“No!” He ran to the door and opened it with the key Twilight had handed him before restraining Dash. He scurried out of the room towards the front door.
A wide smile crossed Dash’s face as she spread her wings. “I’m on it!”
Dash darted out of the room and a second later they heard a loud crash, and Spike screaming. “Uncle! Uncle!”
Author's Note
Story prompt/Requested by: Abcron
Edited by: Selbi
Part of my one-shot week.
