You know the always serious worker at your work that has an aura around him that says "Don't fuck with me and you'll live to see another day."? That's pretty much me in a nutshell, as one of the geeks in the labs whispered to another when he thought I couldn't hear him. They have me in some underground base so that I have no contact with the outside besides on missions, and I'm perfectly content with having it that way. The only place that I spend time at when I'm not on missions or relaxing in my quarters is the bar, and that's only one day of the week.
Grab a bottle of whiskey from bar, go back to my quarters, crack it open, pour it into my own glass, and have at it. Normally a bottle of whiskey can last me two weeks, but I still grab another bottle at the end of the week and have a shit ton stocked up in my unused closet. I never get drunk, high alcohol tolerance and all of that jazz. I'm getting off track, aren't I? Forgive me, I tend to ramble in my writings sometimes. The geeks told me to meet the team in their lab in thirty minutes for a special surprise. I sighed in irritation, and made my way to the laboratory.
My boots clicked against the metal floor as I made my way to the lab, the disgusting smells and high pitched squeals of animals already assaulting my senses.Two guards stood on either side of the door, rifles in hand and eyes examining me.
Have I described my person? From head to toe, I had a black hood covering the top of my head, a black sniper veil covering my face, only revealing my multicolored eyes, with a wireless headset with a microphone sandwiched between the two, a fire resistant black flak jacket covering a bulletproof vest, with multiple pouches and pockets sticking out for different pieces of gear, black armored pants with more pouches and pockets for my gear, black sniping gloves, a camo L96A1 on my back, a Browning High Power pistol strapped to my hip. and a pair of black army boots, steel toed, with a knife handle sticking out of a holster strapped to the left boot. I took a look to the two guards, who nodded and pushed the doors open, and I walked past, giving both a nod.
The smells and squeals of animals only got worse as I continued down the hallway. After a full minute and a half of walking, I finally reached a large room with tesla coils hanging from the ceiling, beakers and other tubes covering nearly every table top, and cages filled with different animals banging against the bars and generally just annoying me to hell.
"Did you get the calculations correct this time? I don't need another one of our top men getting vaporized and cast into oblivion like the last time..." An old and frustrated voice said.
"I'm positive that we have all of the calibrations and calculations correct this time sir. I even triple checked behind all of my men to do so." A high pitched and irritating voice said. I turned a corner and saw two men standing over a table, looking at an odd looking device. One was in a full green suit with his insignia, name, and rank on his clothing, his hair gray and thinning, and the other in a white lab coat, a pair of jeans and a lime green shirt underneath it with a pair of thick glasses on his face.
"Like last time, sir?" I said, walking up to both of them and saluting the higher ranked officer.
"At ease soldier. The scientists had experimented on one of my higher ranking snipers, Agent 47, and he just got turned to goop. I would hate to lose another one of my men to this failed project." He said, shooting a glare at the scientist.
"It wasn't my fault! One of the newer scientists carried a two incorrectly and it ended up creating a device that vaporized matter instead of teleporting it to a desired location. This time, I'm sure it will teleport him to the target area without leaving him a sopping mess on the floor." The scientist said.
"If I don't come out of this unharmed, I will chloroform you while you're sleeping and hang you by your feet in a forest with a string linked to your eyelids so that when you open them, it'll break the slipknot and land you in a half mile radius of acid covered bear traps." I snarled at the scientist, who was cowering away from me.
"Take an easy on him son. I have a job for you." He said, grimacing at the scientist covering his head with his arms like a child.
"We have received word of a terrorist bombing the upcoming Martin Luther King Day parade route in Spokane, Washington. I want you to take out the bomber and disable the bomb. Normal job for you, eh?" He said, nudging me with his elbow.
"Sir, yes Sir." I said, snapping into a crisp salute and walking away.
"Wait, you need to take the device with you!" The scientist yelled after me. I turned around, seeing him standing behind me, holding the device to my chest. I snatched the device from his hand, raising an eyebrow at him.
"So how do I work the damn thing?" I asked.
"You flip this switch, then punch in the coordinates at the top, and pull the knob on the bottom, and it should teleport you to the desired area." He explained, pointing out the different parts of the device. I pocketed the device and walked out of the lab, the almost forgotten regular air assaulting my nostrils. I took a deep breath, relishing the smell, and made my way to the command center, where I would get the details of my mission and coordinates for the device. I reached an elevator and pressed the button, patiently waiting for the slow moving metal box.
The doors opened, revealing random personnel that either live or work inside the base, walking in random directions to do some sort of task I don't care about. The elevator cleared out and I walked in, pressing a button on the board and waited for the doors to close. The broken jazz elevator music was all that was heard, besides an occasional ding indicating a passing room.
"Level 13, Command Station, authorization code 1325587A1." A smooth female voice said. The doors opened up with a ding, and I walked out. A few interns and personnel walking into the elevator behind me. I walked to a large table with a holographic screen hovering above it, an older man with two army personnel standing on either side of him. He looked up from the datapad he had in his hands and gazed at me. I snapped into a salute.
"At ease soldier." He said. He went back to his datapad and tapped it a few times. A picture of a white male appeared on the screen.
"This is the supremacist. I want you to take him out, find the bomb, and disable it before it explodes." He said, scrolling through the details and coordinates. I punched in the coordinates and flipped the switch.
"When do I take my leave then?" I asked.
"Right now, but I don't want you to set that damn device off in here. From what I remember, Agent 47 sucked in half of the room he was in when he started the device, ended up nearly burning the whole base down." He said. I saluted and walked out, heading outside and starting the device. I felt a tingling sensation envelop my arm, quickly running through the rest of my body. My arm started disappearing, following my chest, neck, legs, and finally head.
Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria, was attending her daily day court. She was listening to a captain of a trading ship about repairs for the rotted wood when a strange sensation ran through her horn and head. She gasped in surprised and grasped her head with her head.
"Your Majesty, are you alright?!" A guard asked. The throbbing sensation slowly died away, as she rubbed her temples.
"Just a sudden headache, please continue." She said, looking at the captain. He hesitated for a moment, a look of concern on his face, and he continued.
"As I was saying, Your Majesty, the budget that I require for the repairs is one thousand bits, being only a few pieces of rotted wood..."
I had already set up my rifle in a random clocktower, looking for the target. I spotted him with a book bag on his back, and I took aim at the man. I was about to squeeze the trigger and blow his brains out, he disappeared into a thick crowd. I growled in frustration and traced the top of his head throughout the crowd. The crowd thinned out about five minutes later, and I caught a few glimpses of his face. I moved to another window, setting up my rifle again, and looked around for the target again. I caught a glimpse of him, and quickly moved my rifle to his head once more.
He was about to enter a building when I took the shot, completely blowing his head off. I made my way down to the body, taking off the backpack and revealing a ticking bomb, a timer set for thirty minutes. I inspected the bomb, seeing which wires to cut first, and cut the red wire, yellow wire, blue wire, and finally the pink wire. I threw the disabled bomb onto my back, punching the coordinates into the device, and felt a different sensation envelop my arms.
I looked at my arms, seeing a golden aura surrounding my arms, and felt it pull me towards the ground. The golden aura enveloped both of my arms and continued pulling me down. I pulled away from the aura, only for it to envelop more of my body. I continued pulling away, although my balance was being thrown off. The golden aura surrounded my chest, neck, arms, and the top portion of my legs. A crowd was surrounding me, watching with shock and horror as more of the golden aura enveloped my body. I snarled in frustration as I continued pulling away from the aura, but no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn't stop pulling me down.
"FUCK OFF!" I yelled at the aura, growling as I tried fruitlessly to pull away. I felt my strength starting to give away after pulling for two minutes straight, and felt my knees hit the ground. What I didn't expect was that my legs being enveloped in the concrete. I looked down, seeing the ground waving around my knees and started panicking.
"What the fuck is going on?!" I yelled to no one in particular. I felt two people grab my arms and starting to pull on the aura, only for the crowd to get knocked away by a shockwave from the aura. I felt the concrete up to my chest, took a deep breath, and felt the rest of my body get enveloped quickly.
'What the hell did those fuckers do? Was this supposed to happen with the device? If this isn't supposed to happen... and I end up in some... random ass place, I'm going to find my way home... and beat the shit out of... them... geeks...' I thought, fading into unconsciousness.
The captain was done giving his request and Celestia was about to give her answer when the same sensation happened again, except that she felt a loop wrap itself her horn. She gasped and pulled on the loop, feeling it wrap around a pony's body. She snorted and pulled on the pony, trying to pull them to the castle to face punishment.
She felt resistance, stronger than most ponies, and she continued pulling. Her magic enveloped more of the pony, only to raise questions about this certain pony. Their body was wrapped in unfamiliar materials, with a lack of magic in their body, yet is strong enough to resist a goddess. More of their body was enveloped, and she felt her power winning and pulling her towards her.
"FUCK OFF!" She heard a male voice yell at her. She hesitated slightly, then continued pulling, angered. His legs collapsed underneath himself, and his knees started sinking into the ground.
"What the fuck is going on?!" His slightly panicked voice yelled. She raised an eyebrow at the pony, and continued pulling, until she felt two others trying to help this pony out. She sent a small shockwave, knocking back more ponies than she thought there was, feeling the pony starting to wane. She continued pulling, eventually pulling the full pony through. She heard his last thoughts, and opened her eyes to see a mass of black laying out in front of her. She had many questions for the pony laying unconscious before her, except that she remembered she was still in day court.
"We shall take a break while we figure out what this pony was doing..." She said awkwardly. The ponies cleared the room, while guards surrounded the mass of black laying on the floor.
"Should we take him to a cell?" One of the guards asked.
"No, I want to question him." Celestia said sternly. She sent a small shock through the ponies nerves, awakening the pony.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" He yelled, getting up and pulling out a strange object. He took a look around him, seeing medieval style guards surrounding him. "Alright..." He said, then started looking around. He picked up a destroyed little box that he had landed on. He started flipping switches, dialing numbers, and pulling on levers, except it just sputtered and died. "Fuck me..." He whispered, throwing the device on the ground and crushing it under his boots. "Where the fuck am I?" He asked, looking around and finally noticing the guards and princess staring at him. "Did they do this on purpose...? THOSE FUCKERS!" He yelled.
"Who are you talking about?" Princess Celestia asked.
"I'm talking about goddamn scientists that created a device that allowed me to teleport around for my missions." He answered, picking up the mangled box before throwing it at a wall and smashing it even more.
"I don't remembering allowing this in my kingdom, but we already had teleportation for unicorns..." She whispered.
"Excuse me, but did you say UNICORNS?!" He said.
"Of course. Didn't you know that?" One of the guards said like it was obvious.
"Fuck no! Unicorns are a myth on Earth." He said.
"What... are you talking about? This is Equestria, not this Earth you speak of." Celestia said hesitantly. He turned to her, a strange look on his face.
"Equestria? What do you mean this isn't Earth?! DID THOSE FUCKERS SEND ME TO ANOTHER PLANET?!" He yelled, breathing heavily.
"Please calm down. We need to figure out what's going on right now." Celestia said, scratching the top of her head.
"I'm not sure that I can be calm if I find out I'm on another planet because of a failed experiment." He said. He froze suddenly, then started pacing. "Maybe this is what happened to Agent 47..." He whispered to himself. This only raised more questions about the strange being standing in her presence.
'What have I done...? I brought a strange and possibly dangerous creature to my kingdom...' She thought to herself.