Pen Pals

by Befallen Tragedy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life
Length: 3284

Pen Pals? What an easy assignment! It's not like an international incident will come from it...right?

The Cutie Mark Crusaders, brave, fearless, adventurous, terrible at writing letters. So when their newest assignment has to do with writing to ponies (or things) they've never met before (possibly), will all be alright? Or will somethings be lost in translation?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-25 19:56:20 UTC

I: The Assignment

“Okay class, settle down!” The mulberry mare called from the front of the class, her gentle tones wafting through the chatter of eager foals like a hot knife through butter. The aforementioned foals all quieted down and sat down in their proper seats so their teacher could start whatever lesson she had for the day.

“Now today we’re going to be doing something special! We’re going to learn how to write letters.” A collective groan emanated from the now discouraged foals, writing was universally despised in the schoolhouse. Mainly because of the amount of earth ponies, mouthwriting was hard.

“Now now, children.” Miss Cheerilee chided her class with a bemused grin. “I can assure you this lesson is different.” The foals all clearly still did not like the assignment. “From all over Equestria and beyond, ponies, griffons, zebras, and many other creatures have agreed to be pen pals with the schoolfoals of Equestria to promote cultural growth and understanding.”

Now none of the foals knew what ‘cultural growth and understanding’ meant, but they did know one thing. They might get somepony-or someone- who’s famous to be their pen pal! Like the Arch Duke of Griffonia, or the President of the Zebrican Republic, or even a Wonderbolt! The possibilities were infinite!

“Now one by one I want you all to come up here and draw a name out of the top-hat, which Time Turner has gladly let us use. There will be an address, a correct title, and of course the country where they reside.” The murmur between the foals steadily grew in volume, eliciting a smile from their teacher. “No cutting, no trading, and no do-overs.”

With that, the foals all happily rose from their desks and lined up, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon taking their ‘rightful place’ at the front of the line as always. At the very back of the line, and none too happy about it, were none other than the Cutie Mark Crusaders, with Scootaloo at the very back of the pack.

“Augh, c’mon! By the time I get up there, Rainbow Dash will already be taken!” The flightless fily groaned in frustration, clearly annoyed with being constantly given the short end of the proverbial stick.

“An’ how do y’all know Rainbow Dash is even in that there hat?” Applebloom eyed her sullen friend questioningly. “Why anypony here could jus’ go an’ talk to her! Who needs her as a pen pal?”

“What?!” The look on Scootaloo’s face was incredulous. Like somepony had just insulted her mother. “I do! So nopony else in Equestria can!” The pegasus’ companions simply rolled their eyes.

“Ha! Princess Luna!” The gloat came from the very front of the line, from the Queen Bee herself. “Of course I would get a Princess, I mean who else is deserving of my words?” Another collective groan came from the class, including the teacher at the front of the room.

“Hanin Al Awo, Saddle Arabian Ambassador to Equestria...?” A very confused Silver Spoon read her slip, she wasn’t even sure who this was! How was she supposed to write to them?!

Over the next half hour the line moved steadily, some foals complaining about their picks and others simply too happy to move. When it finally came down to the last three in the class =, the pickings were bound to be bare as a bone.

Sweetie Belle trotted up to the top-hat and fired up her horn. Within recent months she had been practicing her magic more, something she had been putting off for some time due to crusading. She levitated a folded piece of paper out of the hat with some effort and opened it.

Gilo Raggedbeak, Prince Of The Griffon Kingdoms

An address followed which Sweetie Bell could hardly pronounce, let alone read was printed afterwards. She stared at it curiously, she had never talked to a Prince before, or a griffon for that matter. “I got some Griffon Prince. Gilo....Raggedbeak.”

“Oh, Prince Gilo is about your age, Sweetie Belle. Someday he’s going to be the ruler of all of the Griffon Kingdoms! Oh, I was just waiting for one of you to get him.” Their teacher’s smile was lost on them, big deal, some foreign Prince. Blah blah blah. So, Sweetie went back to her desk to collect her things and wait for her friends.

Applebloom was next, he reached into the hat with her mouth and pulled out a slip of paper. She laid it flat on the rim of the garment and read the contents to whoever was listening.

“Ah got Rainbow Dash.”

“Oh come on!” The pegasus behind her shouted in pure and utter disbelief. “Really?!”

“Ah would trade with ya, Scoots...but no trades.” The earth filly patted her friend’s slowly sinking shoulders. “Sorry...”

The begrudged pegasus trudged up to the hat and pulled the last slip of paper out. She unfolded it and scoffed at what was inside.

“Pony Hawk? The washed-up skater?” The filly sighed and accepted her admittedly lame fate. “Of course, why not.” The filly went to join her friends, albeit sadly. Things were just not going her way today.

Sweetie Belle sat at a worktable her sister had set up for her to write at, bolts of fabric piled up around the now clear space. A piece of paper sat in front of the young unicorn, its blankness intimidating. It was like all of the infinite possibilities, good and bad, that could come from the paper was too much to even tempt with a mere stroke of a pencil.

“How do you write to a Prince...?” She asked aloud, assured nopony would answer. Initially, when she had told Rarity who she had recieved as a pen pal, the mare had been ecstatic. Royalty! Her sister was going to be conversing with a foreign dignitary, and a future king no less! Luckily, Rarity had a spa date to attend with Fluttershy...so she would not be hovering all evening.

Dear Your Highness,

“No, no, no.” Sweetie erased the offending words with one stroke of her mighty eraser, eradicating them with ease. She needed something less formal, but still honorable.

Dear Prince Gilo,

There! That worked, it wasn’t too flashy, it didn’t scream ‘eminence.’ It was good.

Today in class I picked your name out of a hat to be my pen pal! I’m sorry if I’m not writing this right, but I’ve never written to a Prince before. I don’t know how to be all cordial or anything in print, I can’t bow with words. Sorry.

Sweetie Belle put the eraser of her pencil in her mouth, chewing on it idly. How did one write a letter to a Prince they’ve never heard of before? How do you make a one-sided conversation flow?

My teacher and older sister say you’re really important and all, but they also said you’re my age. I’m eight by the way. So I figured you might like some of the stuff I do. Do you like Crognar The Barbarian? I do! My favorite issue is #206 where he beats up the skeleton army all by himself! My friend Spike lends me his comic books when he can get his claws on them.

She wasn’t quite sure where to go from here, was she supposed to just keep going? Or should she end it? Ugh, letter writing. It was so...hard. In fact, too hard. She was just going to end it now.

Love, Sweetie Belle.

Perfect! Well...close enough.

Dear Rainbow Dash,

Y’all better give me back that shovel you borrowed from me, you good-for-nothing Pigeon. It’s been a month, what d’ya need a shovel for that long for anyhow? You live in a cloud house! Also, you need to give the east orchard more rain, my apple trees are starting to wilt again. Again.

Signed,

Appleja

Applebloom

PS: ~Applejack

Applebloom sighed as she read her letter over again, well it wasn’t really her letter. Applejack had jumped at the chance to get onto her pegasus friend in a more soid way than just shouting at her cloud home.

Of course, Applebloom wasn’t surprised. Her sister was as hot-headed as her pegasus counterpart. The only difference being the amount of time it took to get them to their boiling points.

Somehow the youngest Apple knew that this was not goingto go her way.

Scootaloo put her quill down. It was an antiquated form of writing, but when you have useless wings you might as well use the feathers for something, right? The only place in town that carried the ink she needed was closed today, another reason to hate Mondays, so she had to resort to the only other place that would have spare ink.

“Oh, Scootaloo. I’m so happy Cheerilee has gotten you foals writing!” The purple alicorn paced back and forth behind the filly. Most ponies would be in awe of the Princess, especially if she was providing them with assistance. Scootaloo...well Scootaloo couldn’t give a hoof. “Sure, it’s not exactly a checklist. But still! Writing! Writing makes books!”  A visible shiver ran through the newly crowned Princess.

“Uh-huh. Books.” Scootaloo rested her head on the table in front of her. “Can I just get back to writing? Or get started...?” She mumbled the last part, being in a bad mood was not commonplace for her at all.

“Oh, of course! If you need any help just yell!” With that, the lavendar Princess trotted off, mumbling something about scrolls.

Pony Hawk,

The only reason i’m writing this is because it’s an assignment and I really can’t miss another one. I’ve had a bad day, first somepony else gets Rainbow Dash, then nopony wants to go crusading for our cutie marks, then my scooter broke on the way home. Not. A. Great. Day.

I know you’re retired now and everything, which sucks because you were actually pretty cool. Not as cool as Rainbow Dash, though. You should get back out there, not just give up and quit. Quitters never win anything.

-Scootaloo

It wasn’t a masterpiece, it was hardly friendly at all. But it would have to do. She wrote the dumb letter and that was enough, hopefully he was too busy being old to answer. Then her part would be over. Bam. Insta-A.

Then again, there’s no telling what the mail will bring.

“Gilo, are you listening to me?” Two Griffons strode through the ancient hallways of the palace. The elder wore a silver crown upon his feathered head, his hindquarters was coated in black fur, and his eyes had golden feathers surrounding them. The younger was almost a duplicate, save for the silver ring of feathers around his eyes and lack of a crown.

“Yes, father. I’m listening.” Truth be told, he was not. His father went on and on about royal procedures, and how he was going to be the future king someday, circle of life, evil uncle, blah blah blah.

“Gilo...” His father, the current king, sighed deeply. “Why will you not take this seriously? It is imperative, son. If you do not pay attention, then our kingdom may be in jeopardy one day and you will not know what to do. What then?” The king stopped and put a taloned hand on his son’s shoulder to halt his progress.

“I will ask my advisors father, isn’t that what they’re for?” The young Griffon asked without missing a beat. His father, for his part, just sighed and shook his head.

“My son...when will you learn? A king cannot just ask his advisors about every last thing, lest they think him weak and malleble. Then you are nothing but a puppet to whomever the nobility appoints.” Seeing as how Gilo was just studying his talons, his father gve up for the time being.

His only hope was that someone could get through to his son, no matter who they were.

II: Return Address

A Few Days Later

Apples,

I will give you your shovel back when I am done with it, I already told you that a million times. I’m busy being awesome and other shovel-related awesome stuff. And your orchards get enough water as it is! I spend half of my time watering your trees! I could be doing more useful stuff instead, like practicing for the Wonderbolts, or using your shovel.

Awesomely Yours,

Rainbow Dash

Applebloom sighed and forked over the letter to her sister to read. If this was how it was going to be, she would rather fail the assignment and take the punishment. Actually, come to think of it, this was punishment enough.

--

“Sweetie, darling. Can you come here for a second?” Rarity called out politely from her workroom. It wasn’t often that she requested her little sister’s help with matters of design, but she was making a dress for Filthy Rich’s daughter Diamond Tiara and Sweetie Belle was about the right size to test the dimensions of it.

“I’m busy, sis!” Rarity shook her head, her red rimmed glasses falling down her nose. Her sister had something to do? What could it be? Her cohorts were both away for the day with family, and Sweetie Belle would never go crusading alone. (Not that Rarity would let her anyways.)

So, the pearly white pony sat down her needle and thread and trotted out of her Fortress of Fabulostiy, a measuring tape draped around her neck. When she entered the main ‘show room’ of Carousel Boutique, she saw her sister curiously sitting in front of the mail slot on the door.

“If I may ask, what are you doing?” Rarity was curious, sure her little sister could be a bit odd at times. But watching a mail slot was close to a new record, even moreso since there’s no post on Sundays.

“Waiting for the mail.” The small unicorn answered, her eyes never leaving the metal slot.

“Sweetie Belle, you do know mail doesn’t come on Sunday, right?” Rarity trotted closer, she wasn’t psoitve on how long Sweetie had been sitting there, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

“Not pony mail.” Curiouser and curiouser. What could that possibly mean? Just then, a knock came from the door. Before Rarity could even think of her trademark line to customers, Sweetie had flung the door open to reveal a rather imposing Griffon on the other side.

“Sweetie Belle?” The Griffon spoke, it was the voice of a soldier through and through. Rarity had spent enough time around Royal Guards to know that tone, stoic, masculine, unwavering. His appearance about matched as well, all black, right down to his tail with some gold accents around his eyes and talons. But he was not wearing any form of armor, oddly enough.

“That’s me!” The Griffon held out an envelope that had very intricate writing on it. Sweetie grabbed it gingerly between her teeth and took it from the soldier. “Fank you.” The messenger nodded, then turned around and waled off. “I’ll be up in mah room.” The young pony spoke through the envelope in her mouth.

“Right...” Rarity turned around, still a little weirded out by the events that just unfolded in her parlour, and went back to her workroom.

Upstairs in the room that had various Cutie Mark Crusaders memorabelia littered throughout it, Sweetie Belle opened her letter. The writing on the parchment was magnificent! It wasbeautiful cursive written in the prettiest ink she had ever seen!

Dear Sweetie Belle,

When my father told me that I may be recieving some letters from Equestria in the near future I thought they would be from nobles, or perhaps ambassadors looking for my favor. I had not the slightest inkling that it would be from a filly my age.

I will admit, it’s a nice change of pace from the stuffy letters I often recieve in the post.  But there is something I do not understand, what is a ‘comic book’? My father has many books, but none detailing the escopades of this Crgonar the Barbarian.  Was he an Equestrian hero of some sort? You must tell me more.

Signed,

Prince GIlo Raggedbeak, Crowned Prince of the Griffon Kingdoms

“He’s never heard of Crognar?” Sweetie Belle cried out incredulously. “Who hasn’t heard of Crognar? It’s like everywhere! Even Princess Luna’s heard of him!” Sweetie Belle couldn’t help but rant, this was ridiculous! She had to write him back. Right. Now!

Scootaloo sighed dejectedly, her ears laid flat in boredom. Her parents had decided to take her on some sort of vacation to someplace or another, she didn’t know, she wasn’t listening. All she knew is that she wasn’t back in Ponyville with her friends. She was in some chariot with her lame dad and lame mom.

Her father handed her a paper bag and told her to eat up. She had seen him get the bag back in Dodge Junction, but she didn’t know what was in it. Curious, she opened it up.

Once upon a time the things within the bag had been jelly filled donuts, her favorite snack in the whole world! Now however, it was a pastry and jelly soup. Just. Her. Luck. Why did horrible things keep happening to her? Why? What did she ever do wrong? Okay, so maybe she broke a few things in her lifetime and blamed it on somepony else, but did that warrant this much bad karma?!

Once again, something was handed to her. An envelope. Her dad said that it had come before they left home and they seemed to have forgotten about it until now. Sure, uh-huh. She didn’t believe that. Not for a second.

On the envelope her name was written, as well as her address in ver haphazard writing. She decided it had to be her ‘pen pal’, so she tore open the letter and began to read.

Dear Scoota-dude,

Sorry you got stuck with me as a pen pal, never really been much of a letter writer anyways. I would’ve got to your letter a bit sooner if I hadn’t been working on some sick new tricks with some little dudes

But hey, I’m not retired, I just don’t do professional stuff anymore. I stil work in the skating community, just littler stuff. Little stuff is still important, alright? Even the little stuff can have major impacts.

~Pony Hawk

Even the little stuff makes a difference, huh...? Well, that lifted Scootaloo’s spirits, if just a little. And what was with the Scoota-dude thing? She wasn’t a dude, she was a filly! Ugh, skaters...

Prince Gilo sat in his room, looking out of the massive window that overlooked the capital city of Talone. He often did this, looked over the city which he would rule someday. It all seemed so..small beneath him. Any citizen he picked out, he could have executed in a heartbeat, any business he could have closed. That power could make anything small.

But mainly, he was watching for his personal letter carrier. This young filly that had written to him, she intrigued the young prince. Her informal writing style specially, his tutors had taught him how to write a letter properly and it was....refreshing to see it done otherwise.

But mostly, he was intrigued by these...comic books. He had asked one of the servant boys about it, and they had told him that it was an action-oriented storybook of sorts that was heavily illustrated. He often did like picture books and illustrations, they were very pleasing to his sensibilities.

He would have to acquire one of these ‘comic books’ from a servant and indulge himself a little. Princely duties could be ever so dull.