The Z Team

by Chad

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Romance, Adventure, Human
Length: 13845

When the main 6 have been threatened by an unknown enemy a team of six from another world will protect them but will they cause their enemies to go after the mane 6? Will the ponies hate their violent nature? Or will The Z Team learn of friendship?

For a long long time the human race and pony race have traded through portals. The ponies would give foods like cakes, cupcakes, and candy. Where as the humans gave the ponies weapons like spears, crossbows, and shields. But each race found out how to craft these items so they forgot each other. The government of each world stayed in contact to this day. Now a great threat has come to equestria and the only one that can stop it is "The Z Team" a global force that is against terrorist, zombies, and mutant zombies. The Z Team has been hired to protect the main 6 but will they learn of friendship instead or see the ponies as much much more?
Merlin: Will Cole stop writing romance and get to the fighting?
Me: Will Merlin stop breaking the forth wall?
Merlin: No.
(This story is not done. It is canceled. I looked at it awhile back and realized, "This story has a great plot and could have been amazing!" But… I lost my train of thought half-way through it and made it over the top silly. I even set up what could have been a sex scene into a joke! All in all, I may come back to this so don't un-favorite it!)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-29 23:58:57 UTC

introduction

          A long long time ago the in the magical land of Equestria princess Celestia was learning new spells "If I'm going to be a good ruler I must know everything about magic." The alicorn said to herself.

         "Hmm... what's this?" The new princess said as she looked at a spell in the back of the book. "Dosn't say...oh well let's find out." Her horn began to glow golden and then shot at the wall "What the...?" The new princess said under her breath as she finished the spell.

           Before her very eyes stood a portal to another world with unknown creatures that were walking on two legs.

           One spotted the new ruler and slowly aproched her and said "Hello there, my name is Roy."

           "Hello there Roy I am princess Celestia co-ruler of equestria." she said to the creature.

          "well i've got some neat gear that your royal guards could use, wanta trade?"

____________________________________________________________________________________________

                                                                     present time: Equestria, Ponyville

               "So do you think we should go on a picnic?" Twilight sparkle the newest alicorn said.

               "Or we could through a party!" said Pinkie pie the party animal.

               "No I don't think we should." Twilight said back.

             "Why not?" Pinkie said.

             "Well it's just that you threw one yesterday." Twilight answered her friend.

                "Well duh, there's always time for a party!" Pinkie said causing Twilight to facehoof.

               All of a sudden an arrow hits a tree close by. "What in the name of Celestia!!!" Twilight screamed as yet another arrow almost hits them.

              "RUUUNNNNNNNNN!!!" screams the pink pony as she takes off toward Ponyville.

            Twilight on the other hoof was trying to find a place to hide.

                The purple alicorn spots a bolder and ducked behind it. Just as she does that an arrow sticks into the ground next to her with a letter on it.

               Twilight levitates it towards her then she reads it out loud. "Watch your flanks Elements of harmony, we're not resting untill your all dead." The purple alicorn reads the last word in horror. "I have to warn the others at once!

____________________________________________________________________________________________

                                                                Equstria: Ponyville, library

                "Twilight are ya sure we're in danger?" said Applejack

              "I'm more than positive girls now then we must tell princess Celestia, hopefully she'll know what to do!" Twilight responded to her friends.

               "Spike take a letter." Twilight said to the baby dragon.

             "can do." Spike said as he pulled out a sheet of paper and quill and waited for twilight to begin.

                  "Dear princess celestia, today somepony tried to murder me and pinkie pie. We need somepony to guard us or make sure this assassin is brought to justise. Your faithful student Twilight sparkle."

                  Spike then sent the letter and then they got a letter back. Spike picked up the letter then read aloud "Dear Twilight I shall see to it at once you get protection and I have somepony in mind that I think will get the job done but you and you friends may not like them.      p.s. you are no longer my student so quit saying you are.

Reuniting the team

                                                                       Earth: Washinton D.C. , 2025

             The president of the united states of America was sitting in his office thumding through a new book he bought when a letter apeard on his desk "Awww a letter from that princess, I never thought I'd see one again." he said as he opened the letter and read it aloud.

              "Dear Mr. president. There is a group of unknown enemies tring to murder princess Twilight sparkle and her 5 friends. I thought about it then remembered a team of some kind in your world that saved your planet from a zombie infection. When I heard the stories of the mutants i thought it was a joke but when you said they were true i couldn't belive it. That is why I'm begging you to have them come to my world. Sincerly princess Celestia."

               The president sat there for a moment then grabbed a piece of paper and wrote "Dear princess Celestia. I will help you in your time of need but there is bad news. The Z Team has been gone for five months now. You see, they wiped the zombie race of the planet and doing so put them out of a job. But I will try as hard as I can to get them back together. sincerly president Bill caretaker."

                The president then threw the letter in his fireplace for it to be sent to Equestria.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

                                                                       Earth: Duncan, Oklahoma

               It's been 7 years since that damn zombie outbreak. The thing that gave me a job. I just can't stand it! I used to be somebody and that somebody was the leader of The Z Team. Merlin phillips thought to himself as he took his anger out on a punching bag.

               He was a 25 year old young man with messy dark brown hair. His skin color was white. His eyes were dark red due to a terrorist messing with his head cause him to go crazy thinking animals could talk and when ever he is angry his vision would turn red and he would get alot of energy cause him to be faster, stronger, and talk like a psycopath.

                He also had a well built body but not like a beef cake he was just right when it came to muscles.

               *knock knock*

           "Go away!" merlin said

                 *knock knock*

              "Go away!" he said a little pissed off.

           *KNOCK KNOCK*

               "Go away ass whore!!!" merlin screamed at the door.

               *knock knock*

            "I'm going to tear you a new ass hole!!!" Merlin said as he walked toward the door to open it.

                "Hello Mr. phillips I..." merlin began to shut the door  "Ok look Merlin I'm sorry to bother you but we need to talk about something you may take interest in." the man said as he stopped Merlin from shuting the door.

             "Ok fine come in." merlin said even more pissed off than before.

                 Merlin began to punch the punching bag again "So tell me what is it that you think I'll find interest in?" merlin asked the man in the suit.

                 "The president has a job for you and we know that if a brony heard about it he would kill to do the job." the man said.

               "Oh really, why is that?" Merlin asked

               "Pack your bags Merlin your going to Equestria." The man said like a game show host.

             Merlin froze not knowing what to say. My little pony: friendship is magic was canceled 2 years ago.

                 Merlin then looked over to a table where a Twilight sparkle toy sat as a decoration. Merlin turned toward the man that gave him the news and said "Well most of my family is eather dead or some where that I don't know of. It would be nice to make some friends. I'll take the job and give nothing back." merlin said like he just saw his mom after not seeing her for...oh wait she is dead in this story, oh well.

                "Very good answer. Now then follow me." The man said as he walked outside and got in to a limo.

               "So how are we going to find my team?" Merlin asked.

             "That's going to be easy but your going to have to find them yourself." the man said

              "Like hell I..." Merlin was cut off when he saw his whole team smiling at him. "Holly son of a fuck! I haven't seen you guys in forever!" Merlin looked at his team.

                  There was Reece his brother who was 23 years old, white, had blond hair and blue eyes, and alot of muscles. He was the heavy weapons of the team.

                  Then there was Dawson and Braden his two cousins.

Braden was 26 years old, white, had brown hair and green eyes, and was taller than his brother, Merlin, and Reece. He was the scout of the team.

(by the way they all have muscles so I'm not typing that any more)

                  Dawson was 24 years old, white, he had blond hair and blue eyes like Reece, and was slimmer than the rest of the team. He was the sniper of the team.

                  Then there was Edward he was 27 years old, white, had black hair and brown eyes, and was the only other brony on the team. He was the explosives expert.

                   And last but not least there was Jak. He was 27 years old also, black, had brown hair that was nearly shaved off, light brown eyes, and he would hate it when a zombie got blood all over his clothes. He was the vehicle expert. Also him and Edward were best friends.

                    "So," Merlin said "Looks like we're going to do what we do best." after merlin finished they all looked at each other and then yelled "KICK ASS AND TAKE NAMES!!!"

Smile for the ponies

                                                                              Earth: Washinton D.C. , the white house

            "Well, here we are." said the man that had reunited the team the day before. "Grab what you think you need to kill the your enemies."

           "Damn right we will!" said Edward

              The team of six spread out to grab some weapons of their choice.

               Merlin grabbed two semi-automatic handguns, two small shotguns, and a combat knife.

             Reece grabbed a strangely large shotgun, a hand cannon, and a pair of brass knuckles.

             Dawson grabbed a semi-automatic sniper rifle and a tomahawk.

             Braden got two large silver handguns, a grenade belt, and survival knife.

               Edward being the demoman picked out a RPG, small grenade launcher, and sledge hammer.

              Jak grabbed an SMG and asked "Do these ponies have cars?"

               "No just trains and non-eletric stuff." said Merlin

                  "Damnit!" Jak said as he punched a wall

                   "Now then here is some bags full of ammo for each of you."

                     The team geared up as the man walked over to a wall and said "They should be here by..."

                     The man was cut off by a flash of light. "Oh goody, here they are."

                as the light faded it left a portal in the wall.

                 "Hello there." said a nice welcoming voice "I am princess Celestia co-ruler of Equestria and these are the Elements of harmony." the princess said as she stepped aside to reveal six ponies standing behind her.

                   "Hello there, my name is Twilight sparkle and these are my friends Pinkie pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy." the purple alicorn said pointing with her hoove at each of her friends as she introdused them.

                  "Yo what's up my name is Merlin phillips I'm the leader." Merlin said stepping forth

             "My name is Reece phillips. I'm the heavy weapons user." Reece said as he stepped forth like merlin.

           Braden didn't want this to last forever so he said "My name is Braden I'm the scout thats Dawson he's my brother and he's the sniper thats Jak he's the driver and thats Ed he's the demoman *GASP*" braden said as fast as he could then fell on the floor.

              "Dumbass!" said Dawson angry that he didn't get to introduse himself.

              all the ponies on the other side of the portal frowned after hearing him use a swear word.

               "Well, lets get this shit done." said Reece as he walked toward the portal while the rest followed.

            "Wait wait wait. we don't want you doing that." said Rainbow dash disliking the bad words being used.

             "Doing what, This?" Jak asked as he flipped off the blue pegasus.

         "What does that mean?" asked Twilight

                  "It means fu...OUCH!!!" Jak is cut off by Merlin smacking him in the back of the head.

            "Alright then are we protecting them as a team or are we doing it separately?" Merlin asked

              Princess Celestia is amazed at how immuture they're acting "And to think they're profetionals." she thought to herself.

            "Hello? Ms. sunshine? Are you there?" Merlin said as the team hoped through the portal.

        "What? Oh yes you will each protect one of the elements." The princess said shaking her head a little. "Now then you six pick who you think you'll get along with."

         "Really, they just get to choose us like we're hoes standing on a street corner." Reece said tring to make his friend laugh.

         "Well I think Merlin and I will get along since he's the leader and I'm a princess." Twilight said like she was making a bad decition.

          "Alright then I hope we don't end up hating each other." merlin said almost like he was flirting with her.

             This made Twilight smile and think "maybe they're not all that bad."

____________________________________________________________________________________________

                                                                     Equestria: Canterlot, train station

          "I hate these guys!" said Rainbow Dash "Not two hours in our world and they've said bad words in public, broked other ponies property, and Braden won't stop calling me Nyan cat! What does that even mean?!"

            "Well...umm Edward isn't that bad." said Fluttershy "He has been really sweat to us."

          "Yeah but the rest of them are jerks!" Rainbow dash said

              "Merlin has been a gentlecolt too." Twilight speaks up

          "Ok ok whatever some of them have been nice." Rainbow Dash says

          "Atention passengers we will be on our way to ponyville in five minutes." the conductor said

____________________________________________________________________________________________

                                                              Equstria: Ponyville

                "Well this day SUCKED!" Merlin said as he and Twilight walked towards the library.

                "It wasn't all that bad Merlin, look at the bright side you and your team are back in business." Twilight said tring to cheer him up.

                 "All day ponies have been staring at me and the ones who said something to me it would eather be monster or hey there new guy wheres your ass mark?" Merlin said mocking the ponies he had met today.

                "Well here we are." Twilight said pointing a hoove at a treehouse.

                 "Werid, I thought you moved in to a castle or something." merlin said confused

                  "What was that? I couldn't hear you." Twilight said wanting to know what he thinks of her house.

               "Oh um, I like it. Its a really neat looking place to live." merlin said tring to keep the TV show thing about her a secret.

                "Thank you Merlin." Twilight said with a smile then unlocked the door, opened it, and went inside. "Come on in."

           Merlin walked inside Twilights house and shut the door and locked it. "Do you mind if I take a seat?"

               "Not at all." Twilight said as she sat down on a green sofa and patted the spot next to her.

            Merlin sat down on the sofa next to her "This is a nice place you got..." Merlin was cut off by Twilight yawning and resting her head on his chest. "Umm... Twilight."

          "Sorry, I haven't been sleeping well because of the assassin thing so I'm really *yawn* tired." Twilight said as she closed her eyes "You don't mind do you?"

           Merlin looked around the room to make sure no one else was there "N-not at all." Merlin said as he too closed his eyes and in less than a minute they were both out cold.

Hating on haters

                                                                  Equestria: Ponyville, Twilight's house

               *Knock knock knock*

              "mmmm...huh?" Twilight said as the knocking at the door grew louder.

              *Knock knock knock*

              "Be there in a minute!" Twilight called to the door "I wonder who would come to my house in the middle of the..."

The purple alicorn stopped in her tracks when she realized who it could be. "Merlin!" She called to her body guard in a loud whisper.

             "NO...get that away from my ass you pervert." Merlin said in his sleep.

              Twilight then facehoofed and walked over to him "Merlin!" she said as she shook her body guard.

            "What...Twilight what you want" Merlin said not using all his words.

           "Merlin there is somepony..." The alicorn was cut off by the knocking at the door.

                  *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

         "Oh I see your just scared it's the badies." Merlin slowly got up to open the door "Watch, its just going to be one of your friends." He said putting his hand on the door knob.

          When Merlin opened the door their was a man at least in his 20s holding a crossbow aimed at merlins chest.

          "OH SHIT!!!" Merlin said as he slid to the side avoiding the arrow.

              "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Twilight screamed as the arrow grazed her left foreleg and hit the sofa behind her.

          Merlin tured toward the man who just hurt the little pony and grabbed him by the hair "Don't let the door hit you on the way out!" Merlin yelled in rage as his vision tured red. Before the man could struggle Merlin had pulled the mans head into the doorway and slammed the door shut as hard and fast as he could causing the mans head to splatter all over the doorway and floor. "Opps, looks like it did." Merlin said as if he enjoyed killing the guy...........which he did..........alot.

           As Merlins vision tured back to its normal colour he tured around to see Twilight holding her wounded foreleg as it began to bleed. "Oh my god, Twilight I'm so fucking sorry." Merlin said as he ran over to her.

         "N-no it's ok it wasn't...ooowww...your...ouch...your f-fault M-merlin." Twilight said as Merlin tried to stop the bleeding.

        "Do you got any bandages?" Merlin asked Twilight.

           "Y-yes their in the b-bathroom." Twilight answered as Merlin immediately ran toward the bathroom and dug through the draws.

         "Yes I found them!" Merlin yelled happily to Twilight.

         "That's great now p-please use th-them on me!" Twilight said back.

        "Ok ok, I'm coming!" Merlin said as he grabbed some disinfectant and ran back to her. "There weeeee go!" Merlin said as he disinfected the cut and wrapped it up. "Better?" He asked Twilight looking straight into her eyes.

          Twilight looked back, smiled, and blushed as she said "Yeah, better heh heh."

         "What's going on I heard someone screa...oh." Jak said as he walked inside and saw the corpse of the man Merlin gruesomely killed not to long ago. "Wellllllll, see you two tomarrow."

        "Yeah because you SHOULD be protecting Rarity." Merlin said with a devilish smile.

        "Oh SHIT! I left her alone!" Jak yelled as he took off for Rarity's house.

        "Well, I think you should go to bed Twilight." Merlin said as he stood up. "I'll clean up this mess." The former zombie hunter said as he pointed at the dead body.

            Twilight looked like she was going to throw up but then said "Yeah I should check and see if spike is ok too." she said walking towards the stairs.

           "Wait wait wait there is somebody else is this house?" Merlin asked

            "Yeah, he's my assistant." Twilight said stopping "What are you jealous?" She asked looking at Merlin with a smile.

          Merlin blushed and said "N-NO, I was just confused at how he slept through this." Merlin said putting on his sunglasses so Twilight wouldn't see the panic in his eyes. "I-I'm just going to throw this guy in the trash or something ok."

            "Please do, I think I'm going to be sick if the smell doesn't go away." Twilight said as she put a hoove over her muzzle.

             "Yeah ok, I'll take care of it." Merlin said beginning to drag the body outside "See you in a few." Merlin was dragging the body over to the trashcan when it hit him. "Wait wait wait, I almost forgot rule number three of the zombie survival guide, loot loot loot." He said as he began to search the body for something useful "Ok we got 9 arrows, the crossbow, and OOOOOOO wine, wonder why he was carrying this?" Merlin said putting the wine in his jacket pocket for later. "Huh whats that on his shirt?" Merlin asked himself as he wiped the blood of the assassin's shirt. "Oh no..." Merlin said as he read what the mans shirt said. "Haters gonna hate..."

____________________________________________________________________________________________

      After finishing mopping up the blood and gore Merlin walked upstairs to Twilight's room......and spike's but I don't think he really think it counts as his too. He could be paying rent but I highly doubt it. And another thing...

         "SHUT UP! just shut up Cole I don't care if you created me just...shut up." Merlin said looking up at the ceiling.

        "Ummm...who are you talking to?" Asked Twilight who was sitting strate up in her bed.

          "No body important." Merlin said then asked Twilight "Sooooo...where do I sleep?"

         "Well the spare bed is broken and is being fixed but... what I know you can just sleep with me!" Twilight said clopping her hooves together once.

      "I ummmm...a-are you sure?" Merlin said beginning to blush again.

         "Yeah, as long as you keep your clothes on if you know what I mean." she said with a seductive smile and stare.

         "Ummmm...ok." Merlin said taking off his jacket and boots. He then got into the bed with Twilight.

         "You stay on that side I'll stay on this one." Twilight said "Good night."

           "Night night." Merlin said to her.

          "Night night?" Twilight asked.

          "It's how my mom would tell me good night when I was little." He replied.

             "Do you miss your mom?" Twilight asked.

           Merlin frowned at this question but knew that Twilight didn't mean to offend him. "More than you think Twi...more than you think.

One fun day in ponyville

                                                            Equestria: Ponyville, Twilight's hosue

              The sunlight came throught the window and made its way to Twilights bed.

            *Yawn* "Man, that dream I had last night about a snake crushing me felt sooooo..." Merlin was cut off when Twilight who had fallen asleep on the other side of the bed was now giving Merlin a death hug. "R-rea-real."

           Merlin didn't want to wake her so he began to pry her off him. When he couldn't get her to move her forelegs any more he slid out out of her grip.

            "Man that pony can hug and I mean HUG!" Merlin said to himself as he put his gear on. "Alright then let's see what there is to do." Merlin looked around the room and the his eyes fell on Twilight who was now feeling around on the bed where Merlin was laying earlier. "Awww man ummmmm..." Merlin looked around to put in Twilight's hug then he saw Spike sleeping in a what I think is some kind of basket.

             Merlin then got a devilish smile on his face as he walked over to the baby dragon and picked him up. "What...huh? Hey who are you put me...*GASP*" Was all Spike could say before he was being killed by Twilight's iron grip hug.

               *Knock knock knock*

           "Oh come on not this bullshit again." Merlin said as he walked down stairs to the door. "Here we go again." He said pulling out one handgun. Then in less than a second Merlin flung the door open and aimed the handgun between the eyes of...of...a royal guard "Oh hey, nice to meet you my names Merlin." Merlin said doing his best scout from tf2 impression. "So, can we talk instead of blowing your brains out?" The second after Merlin made the threat more guards pointed there spears at Merlin.

           "S-s-sorry to bother y-you sir it's j-just that we wanted to a-ask you some question." The royal guard said terrified Merlin may use his weapon only knowing it will blow his brains out.

           "Alrighty then, lay it on me." Merlin said spinning the handgun on his finger a couple of times before putting it up.

          "Uuummmmm...ok? Well we found a body of what I guess is your species in the trash to this house and we where wondering if you knew anything about it?" The guard asked the former zombie hunter.

          "Ok but first how did you find him?" Merlin asked.

          "Well there was a really bad smell so somepony went over to see what it was then opened the trashcan up and found the body." The guard expained.

          "Yeah, now that shit makes as much sence as aliens." Merlin said putting on sunglasses so the sun wouldn't get in his eyes.

          "Wellllllll you are sort of an alien to us you know." The guard said trying not to afend Merlin.

         "Well thats rude because I never thought of you guys as aliens but if thats what your gonna call me then I'm gonna do it back." Merlin said

         "Ok fine I don't really care so any ways, do you know anything about the body?" The guard asked yet again.

         "Yeah I know about it, I smashed his head in the door way right where your standing." Merlin said like it was nothing.

          "Then your under arest for murder." The guard said as all the guards yet again pointed their spears at him.

           "Nope, you can do that. Princess Celestia put me incharge of protecting the pony that lives here and that means I have the right to mangle whoever looks at her funny." Merlin said to the guards.

         "Just shut up and come with us you have no way of prooving it." One of the guard in the back said.

         Just as Merlin's hands met his shotguns Twilight come down stairs with messy bed hair. "Good morning Merlin did you sleep well?" Twilight asked not noticing the deathmatch that is about to occur.

          "Yeah, and I guess you didn't because I woke up with you hugging the crap out of me." Merlin called over his shoulder not taking his eyes off the guards.

          "Is that so? Because for some strange reason I woke up hugging spike." Twilight said

           Merlin began to snigger wondering why she hadn't noticed that there was five royal guards at her door who were going to spear him. "Well I didn't just want to leave you without someone to cuddle with."

           "Like you didn't enjoy it." The little alicorn teased him.

           Merlin was really wanting to know what she was doing behind him but he knew if he took his eyes off the guards they would try to attack him. "Twilight I want to ask you something."

           "What?" Twilight said still not taking notice of the royal dickheads.

           "Can you see what I'm doing?" He asked

        "What are you do...*GASP*" Twilight said as she saw the guards who were beginning to put their spears close to Merlin's stomach. "What in the wide wide world of Equestria are you all doing!?" She yelled at the royal dickheads.

          "This creature has murdered some..." The guard was cut off by Twilight.

          "CREATURE?! CREATURE?! This "creature" is my friend and he didn't murder anyone!!! He saved my life last night and if you ever! EVER!!! Point a spear at him again I will have you FIRED!!!" Twilight screamed in the guards faces surprising Merlin, the guards, and even me the one thats writing this story.

        After Twilight screamed at the guards the where so scared they all dropped their spears and ran for it.

       "W-wow Twilight I didn't think you cared that much about me." Merlin teased Twilight for her outburst.

        Twilight then shut the door slowly. "So should we make breaky or..." Merlin was cut off when Twilight turned around, got up on her hind legs, and hugged him. "Ok...I guess we're just going to hug." Merlin began to return the hug when Twilight wispered in his ear.

              "Don't get any ideas. This is just to thank you for saving last night." Twilight said

____________________________________________________________________________________________

          "So in your world the sun and moon don't set and rise?" Twilight asked

         "Nope, Earth orbits around the sun and the moon orbits Earth making it seem as if the sun and moon rise and set." Merlin said to Twilight as the two walked to sugar cube corner were their friends were waiting for them.

          "Are you sure that there isn't a god or goddess that does it?" Twilight asked for the third time that day.

          "Yes I'm sure Twilight my kind has been to space and we even put the American flag on the moon." Merlin expained hoping she wouldn't ask that question again.

            "Are you absoulutely positively sure?" Twilight asked again.

           "Yes, yes I'm sure!" Merlin said a little loud.

           Just then they arrived at surgar cube corner.

         "Hey Braden, what are you doing here?" Merlin asked his older cousin.

          "I'm watching nyan cat clear the sky." He said as Rainbow Dash bucked one final cloud.

          "So what are you two doing here?" Braden asked as Dashie landed next to him.

         "We're here to get some breakfast or breaky as Merlin puts it." Twilight said as she and Merlin sat down at a table.

          Dawson then came out of sugar cube corner with a plate of cupcakes and sets it down at Braden and Dashies table.

"Here is what you ordered you two." Dawson said to them. "That will be 10 bits."

         "Bits? Really? You ponies still use bits?" Merlin asked Twilight who was waiting to order their food.

          "Yes, do humans not use them any more?" Twilight asked.

           "No, no we don't." Merlin said as Dawson come over to take their order "Heeeeyyyyyy, Dawsy what up man."

          "Nothing much, just helping pinkie out since Mr. and Mrs. Cake are on vacation." Dawson answered."Now what can I get you all?"

           "I'll have a large blue berry muffin and...what do you want Merlin?" Twilight asked.

            "Do you any kind of beer?" Merlin asked since he hadn't had a drink in awhile.

            "Merlin!" Twilight said "You shouldn't talk about that sort of thing while fillies are around." Just as Twilight finished talking Merlin turned to his right to see a mom and her filly walking away while the mom glared at him.

           "No sorry man." Dawson answered.

           "Wait wait wait I almost forgot." Merlin said reaching inside his jacket. "That guy that attacked use last night had wine on him. So who wants a drink?" Merlin said causing more mothers to take their young else where.

          "I'll have some." said Braden while Twilight and Rainbow Dash shook their heads no.

          "Wait, some guy attacked you last night?" asked Dawson

         "Yeah, and from what his shirt said I think I know who we're up against." Merlin said while everone and pony leaned in to hear. "The haters."

          "So we're fighting abunch of college student assholes that hate the ponies and jerk off 7 hours a day?" Braden asked.

          "Well, yeah." Merlin said.

         "HA HA HA, this is going to be easy." Dawson said.

         "Yeah, really easy." Merlin said as pinkie pie came outside with their order and two glasses.

          "Here you all go. One blue berry muffin for Twilight and two glasses for Merlin and Braden." Pinkie said.

         "Wait how did you...?" Braden began to ask but was cut off by Dawson.

        "She's been doing it all day I don't know how but she has." He said.

         Merlin filled the two glasses up and handed one two Braden. "I don't care but I know for sure this is going to be the best job we've done yet." After Merlin finished talking both him and Braden downed their wine.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

            "Finally we're home." Twilight said. "I can't believe you did that!"

            "Hey! Those guys had it coming! I mean were trying to kill you." Merlin said to Twilight.

           "Yeah but you ripped  one of their friends spine out through their stomach and then you beat the rest of them with it! Now that is just not right!" Twilight said getting more and more upset.

          "Ok then I'm sorry for my grusome display ummm...let's see here ummm...wait! I know, how about I pour you some wine." Merlin said trying to cheer her up.

               "Welllllll...ok I guess I'll have some." Twilight said as Merlin went into the kitchen and got to glasses. The two sat down on the sofa while Merlin poured them both a full glass.

             They both drank all of their wine then Merlin said "See, human wine is pretty good right." Merlin realived Twilight looked dizzy. "Sorry if its a little to strong for ya but it looks like we're out of wine any ways so we should go to bed. As Merlin began to get up Twilight used her forelegs to push him back onto the sofa. "Twilight what are you...?" Twilight's horn began to glow then with a flash of light the wine bottle had been refilled and Twilight began to refill the cups.

Lucky or unlucky?

                                                 Equestria: Ponyville, Twilight's house

                  Merlin began to wake up on the sofa with a headache from all the wine he had last night. "Oooohhhh man."

he said to himself as he opened his eyes. "Oh no." Merlin was looking at the wine bottle that had been refilled many times.

The former zombie hunter heard someone breathing heavily on top of him. All of a sudden he felt that someone give him one of her death hugs just like the morning before...Twilight. "Oh god oh god oh...wait I have my...clothes on?"

                "Your welcome." Merlin heard someone from across the room say.

               Merlin looked over to see Spike with a glare on his face and his arms behind him. "Wait you? Thank you. I was scared for a second that I..."

                He was cut off by a flash of light causing Twilight to wake up after the flash of light was gone. "I bet the reporters for the Equestria Daily newspaper would like to get their hooves on this." Spike said holding up a picture in one claw and a camera in the other.

              "You little SHIT! I thought we could be buddies!" Merlin yelled as Twilight began to blush realizing that she was hugging him.

                "Well you should have thought about that before you nearly killed me from putting me into Twilight's death hug!" Spike yelled back as he ran out the door.

            "Why did he say "death hug"?" Twilight asked Merlin.

           "You do know when you were asleep the other night you nearly broke my ribs from the hug you gave me, right?" Merlin asked the purple alicorn.

           "W-well I..." Merlin didn't hear anything else after he took off to try and stop Spike from making him a joke generator. "Do have a crush on you." Twilight joked to herself as she put her ears down.

            Merlin meanwhile was closing in on Spike. "Damn this guy can run." Merlin said as to himself as Spike began to sprint really hard untill it wore him out.

        *GASP!!! PANT PANT PANT* Spike panted as he slowed to a fast jog.

         "Your ass is mine BEEEEEITCH!!!" Merlin screamed as he jumped and tackled Spike.

         "P-please... *pant pant* ...don't hurt... *pant pant* ...me!" Spike pleaded as Merlin rased a rock above him as the ponies of ponyville watched in horror.

          Merlin, instead of murdering the baby dragon, grabbed the picture out of Spikes hand and shoved it in the gem eaters mouth. "Now swallow." Merlin said in a deap stern voice, his vision turning red again.

         Instead Spike burped out fire almost hitting Merlin square in the face. "There, it's gone." Spike said but then smiled as if he knew something Merlin didn't.

          "Yeah keep telling yourself that." Merlin said dropping the rock on the baby dragon's stomach.

            "OOOOOOPH!!!" Said Spike getting the air knocked out of him.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

                                                              Equestria: Canterlot, the palace

            "Execute him, execute him, banish her, execute her." Princess Celestia said to herself as she did her work then a picture apeared on her desk. "What's this?" She asked herself as she levitated the picture infront of her.

"Well, isn't that sweet."

____________________________________________________________________________________________

                                                              Equestria: Ponyville, Twilight's house

            "Hey Twilight the princess sent us a letter!" Spike called over to her as he ran in through the door.

           "Well what's it say?" Twilight asked as Spike then read it out loud.

           "Dear Twilight, I don't know why you sent me this picture." Spike paused a moment as Twilight shot him a glare. "But I think it is interesting that you and Merlin have a more romantic relationship with him and I won't make fun of it. Sincerly Princess Celestia." Spike finished then realize 50 books above him being levitated.

            "Give me a reason not to drop these books!" Twilight yelled angry that her secret didn't even last two days because Spike wanted to get on Merlin's nerves.

           "W-well if you do then I won't be able to c-clean up the mess." Spike said scared as fuck.

           "I won't drop then if you promise not to let Merlin find out." Twilight said as Spike began to nod.

           "Find out what?" Merlin said as he came through the door with three cupcakes in his hands.

          Twilight dropped the books on top of Spike then said. "Oh Merlin your back."

           "Yeah, sorry I took so long I wnted to get a snack." Merlin said holding one of the cupcakes in front of Twilight. "And I got one for you and Spike."

           "Oh you didn't have to do that." Said Twilight as she levitated the cupcake infront of her. "Wait how did you get these?"

           "Pinkie gave them to me sence she hadn't got around to throwing me and the team a welcome to ponyville party. Heh heh, like she would have to be sorry for that." Merlin said as Twilight took a bite out of the cupcake.

             "Thanks Merlin, you're the best." Twilight said looking at him.

            "You're a real good friend to Twilight." Merlin said as he went over to help Spike out of the pile of books.

            "Yeah, friends." Twilight said to herself as she got upset at the word that was just spoken.

              "Here's your cupcake Spike. truths?" Merlin said holding out his fist to the baby dragon.

               Spike smiled then said "Truths." as the bumped the fists together for a friendship pound.

              Then Merlin leaned near his new friend and asked. "Hey by the way you remember this morning?"

             "Yeah, what about it?" Spike asked.

               Merlin looked at Twilight was looking out the window while eating her cupcake. "I can't tell if what you did was...well...lucky or unlucky."

Legend for a reason

                                                                Equestria: Ponyville, Twilight's house

           Celestia was raising the sun making it a beautiful morning in ponyville as all the ponies and some humans  woke up.

But one human was still asleep and dreaming back to when he lost most of his family. Three months after the first outbreak of zombies... he came home... to find the people he knew and loved...burning in a pile of bodies.

           Not to long after he found what was left of his family he got a phone call from Z.A.P., (Aka zombie apocalypse preparers) the terrorist group that started world war III, who thought it was a good idea to laugh at him and the other three members left of their family but all that did was make Merlin crush the phone in his hand and then later on meet Jak and Edward who had the same thing done to them.

            "Then it's *snore* settled we are The Z Team and we're *snore* going to kill every last douchebag *snore* that stands in our way." Merlin said in his sleep. "Huh? What? Man I hate reliving that nightmare." The former zombie hunter said as he woke up.

            "Good morning." Said Twilight as she walked down the stairs.

            "Well it is so far considering you're not hugging me.

           Twilight frowned and said. "So you don't like getting hugs from me?"

           "Well not when they almost kill me." Merlin said trying not to laugh.

            "But those hugs were when I was unconscious, would you like it if I gave you one while I was awake?" Said the purple alicorn.

           "Well I don't think we should hug to much since we're just friends, because if we keep hugging. Hugging goes to kissing, kissing goes to making out, and making out goes to someones ass getting grabbed." Merlin said beginning to laugh after realized what he said. "HAHAHAHA... um Twilight are you ok?"

           Twilight went into deep thought after Merlin finished his joke. "Huh? um... I-"

           "Are you... thinking about that?" Merlin cut off Twilight then covered his mouth hopeing to hold in the laughing that was almost hurting his throat by now.

             "N-NO! I was just... I need to," Twilight said trying to find an excuse so Merlin wouldn't know she was thinking of doing all the stuff he said with him. "Run to the post office!" She said spotting a few letters she was going to send to her parents later.

            "Ok girl you go do your thing. Me and spike will... oh wait I need to stay by your side at all times so-" Merlin started but was cut off by Twilight.

           "See you later!" Said the purple alicorn as she flew out the door.

          "Damnit Twilight come back here!" Merlin said running towards the door. "You know what. She'll be fine, YO SPIKE GET DOWN HERE!!!"

         "Yeah?" Spike said as he ran down the stairs.

            "Hey I'm bored so," Merlin said as he sat down on the sofa. "You want to talk about something?"

            "Well there is something you should know about Twilight." Spike said as he sat next to Merlin.

           "What is it?" Merlin asked the gem eater.

           "Well she seemed really mad and embarrised when..." Spike started then realized who he was talking to.

           "When what?" Merlin asked his friend.

           "W-when somepony umm found the picture." Spike said getting scared.

            Merlin then realized that Spike had sent the picture of him and Twilight to Princess Celestia. "Spike your going to..." He started then thought about it. "Embarrised?"

            "Y-yeah. It was almost as if she had some sort of crush on you but didn't want anypony to know." Spike said realizing he wasn't going to die.

             "Oh I wouldn't say that." Merlin said backing away from Spike.

             And why is tha-a-a-a-t... oh.

             "Who are you talking-" Spike began to say but couldn't finish due to the fact that at least half the books in the room were now on top of the baby dragon.

             "Heh heh... um don't mind him he sometimes likes to make stuff up." Said the purple alicorn who had just got back from the post office very fast because of her wings.

             "Jesus, Twilight why do you keep doing that!?" Merlin said digging through the pile of books that was on top of his friend.

              "Well I didn't want him to tell y-y-you." Twilight said as her pupils got small letting Merlin know something was wrong.

               Merlin turned around to see the butt of a shotgun meet his forehead knocking him out.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

                                                   Ponyville: Edge of town, 5:10 p.m.

                (Oh shit oh shit oh shit!) Merlin thought as he was knocked out (Wake up! Wake up! Oh god there's no telling what they could be doing to Twilight and Spike. No, Spike was under the pile of books where they couldn't get to him.)

              "Hey, Horsefucker! Wake up!" Merlin heard someone say.

            (I fucking hate that word!) Merlin thought as he woke up with alot of pain in his head.

            "Aaawww there we go." Said a man with a T-shirt on that had a picture of the main 6 with a big red X over them.

            "Where's my friends?!" Merlin yelled at the man while trying to grab him but realized he was tided up and on his knees.

             "Oh you mean the little horse you-" Said the man but was cut off by Merlin.

             "OK! I get it! You think all the bronies in the world want to have sex with a pony. ONE! Not all of us do. TWO! Most of us that do find them atractive want to have a realationship with them not just sex." Merlin said with alot of anger in him.

             "Well anywho, the main 6 are gonna get hanged at six in the middle of town starting with the yellow one."  Said the hater causeing everybrony to say (*GASP* NOT FLUTTERSHY!!!).

              "Not if you're all full of lead." Merlin said with a smile.

             "Is that so? Well how are you going to do that?" Said the hater with a chuckle.

              "Well you see it's just that... I'm known as a legend for a reason." Merlin said jumping up onto his feet then kicking the hater in the balls.

             "AAAAHHHHH!!! MY HEAVY METAL!!!" The hater screamed falling to the ground.

           Merlin began to strangle the hater then said. "Don't fuck with a bronies pony!"

____________________________________________________________________________________________

                                                            Ponyville: Edge of town, 5:20 p.m.

            Merlin had found his gear after killing the hater and cutting himself loose.

             *Bang bang bang*

           Merlin looked towards Ponyville after hearing the gun shots. "You give," Merlin said cocking both his shotguns. "And you get." Merlin finished his sentence while throwing both shotguns in the air and catching them by the handles. Merlin's vision turned red letting him know. It's murder time.

          "YEEAAAAHHHH!!!" Merlin screamed his war cry as he ran into Ponyville. Merlin saw a guy point an AK-47 at him. "This is what you get!" Merlin yelled at the guy as he shot both of his legs off then jumped onto his head smashing it with both of his boots.

           "Oh my god, he killed kenny!" Yelled a hater who had Bonbon cornered.

         "You basterd!" Yelled another hater who was trying to get Lyra to let go of his hands.

           "Oh sweet memories." Merlin said as he aimed at the two and blew their heads off.

           "AAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Screamed Bonbon as blood spattered on her while Lyra just kept holding onto the headless hater's hands.

           "HA HA HA! Who's next?!" Merlin yelled as ten haters ran towards him. "Now now one at a time!" Merlin said as he shot one of his targets in the stomach. "Bingo!" He yelled as he shot another one of his enemies in the nuts.

             "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Screamed the hater as he bled out.

              "HA HA HA! YOU CAN'T KILL ME!!! I'M INSANE!!!!!" Merlin screamed as they began to take cover.

              "What the hell is wrong with this guy!?" Yelled one of the haters.

               "I don't know just shoot him!" Yelled another.

              "Well that won't be any fun!" Merlin said showing that his insane violent side was in full control.

                "Die you son of a bitch." Screamed one of the haters as he jumped out of his cover and opened fire. "W-where the hell is he?!" The hater stopped when he realized that Merlin was gone. "Come out here you coward!"

              "Way ahead of you." Said Merlin as he shot the hater, from the roof top of a house, with one of his hand guns.

              "There he is get him!" Yelled who Merlin thought was the leader of the little group that was trying to kill him.

             "YOLO!!!" Merlin said jumping over them with both of his handguns filling three of them with lead. He then landed on the roof of the building that was across from him.

             "RETREAT!!!" Yelled the leader as the haters ran from Merlin.

                "RETREAT!? The only treat you all are getting is my treat!" Merlin screamed at them after reloading his handguns. "HAHAHAHAHA!!!" Merlin laughed as he jumped off the building he was on and ran after them.

               *BANG BANG BANG BANG*

             "Huh?" Merlin said as he heard the gun shots. As he turned the corner he saw three dead bodies and one hater holding his leg then a sledge hammer smash his head.

             "Nice to see you still breathing." Edward said as Dawson walked over to him while reloading his sniper rifle.

              "Damnit man I wanted to kill him." Merlin said.

              "I can see your insaness is kicking in. Whats wrong?" Dawson asked as he cocked his sniper rifle.

              "The jerk offs are going to hang the main 6 in..." Merlin stopped to look at his wrist watch. "Thirty minutes!"

             "Oh shit where are they!?" Edward asked wanting to save them the most other than Merlin (both being bronies and all) who looked as if he could tear off someones head.

               "In the middle of town now come on lets go!" Merlin said as he finished reloading his shotguns and ran towards the town square.

                "Hey Merlin! over here!" Yelled Braden as he ran towards his team.

                 "Hey buddy how've ya been!?" Merlin yelled as Braden reached them.

                "Well, me and Dashie woke up to some guys trying to knock us out but I was smart and jumped out the window."

Braden said as he got down on one knee to rest from running across town.

                   "By the way, how are you able to stand on the clouds." Edward asked.

                  "I havn't and can't. And before you ask your next qustion the answer is I've been sleeping in a little house under Dashie's cloud house." Braden said as he got back to his feet.

                  "Wait, you said you and Rainbow Dash woke up were as she would have been in the cloud." Dawson said.

                 "And instead of calling her Nyan cat your calling her Dashie." Merlin said.

                  "Wait I know what's going on." Edward said with a smile.

                  "Yeah, ok me and her are sort of together now. Can we please just save our pony friends?" Braden said not even blushing.

                    Dawson began to laugh while Edward and Merlin smiled and patted him on the back and said nice stuff to him.

                   "Oh come on you guys don't think this is funny?" Dawson asked.

                  "You do realize you're talking to two hardcore bronies." Edward asked as he pulled a small Fluttershy toy out of his pocket as did Merlin pull out a Twilight toy out of his.

                  "Come on guys we only got TWENTY FUCKING MINUTES!!!" Merlin screamed as he looked at his watch.

                "Oh god we got to get there before they hang the main 6!" Edward screamed as they all ran toward the town square.

               "There they are, get 'em! Yelled a hater as nine other haters began to shoot at them.

               "My trigger finger's was wanting to be used! HAHAHA!!!" Merlin said blowing one of the hater's head off then another one's arm causeing him to scream in pain.

                The four members of The Z Team took cover behind Applejack's apple cart.

                 "We don't have time for this!" Yelled Braden.

             "Don't worry about them they just need some friendship missiles." Merlin said looking at Edward.

               "Hell yeah!" Edward yelled taking  his RPG off his back and fireing it at the haters feet killing them all.

               "We're almost there!" Yelled Dawson as they ran toward the town square.

              "Die bitches DIE!!!" They heard Jak scream as he shot at some haters ahead of them.

               "Come on Jak the main 6 will be dead soon!" Yelled Braden.

               "Not if I can help it!" Jak replied as he shot the rest of the haters that we're in their way.

               "There's the middle of the town!" Edward yelled.

               "Braden follow me!!!" Merlin screamed toward his best buddy as he jumped and grabbed the side of a roof.

               "Good idea!" Braden yelled as he did the same.

               "There they are!" Merlin yelled jumping off the roof.

              As Braden jumped off the roof they both saw a royal guard land infront of them.

               "Thank Celestia I found you!" Yelled the guard who Merlin realized was Flash Sentry the guy Twilight had a crush on in Equestria girls.

               "My name is Flash Sentry," Flash began while Merlin thought (heh heh he doesn't even know.) "And I'm a royal guard! Now listen the rest of my soldiers are dead because of these guys and-"

               "Yeah we know, we were just on our way there!" Merlin said as him and Braden ran past Flash Sentry and towards the hanging post around the corner.

                "Five...four...three...two...*BANG*" The hater who had his hand on the switch but was shot by Braden using one of his handguns.

                   "Oh shit kill them!" Yelled a hater as 19 other haters pointed their guns at the two while they took cover.

                   "What do we do?!" Screamed Braden.

                  "We kick ass." Said Merlin as he put on a pair of sunglasses then pulled out his handguns. "HERE COMES THE BOOM BITCHES!!!!!" Merlin screamed as both him and Braden went duel pistol on the haters.

                   "DIE DIE DIIIIEEE DIE!!! Merlin screamed as him and Braden took down the haters one by one while the main 6 watched in awe.

                   The two ran out of ammo and their was still the leader and two other guys left. "Take 'em down boys." Said the leader as the Two pulled out knifes. (not all the haters get guns...because...the're poor.)

                  Braden pulled out his knife and jumped over the one that came at him and stabbed his back in mid-air.

                  Merlin looked at the one coming at him and didn't even bother to pull out his knife. As the hater tryed to stab Merlin he was stopped by the former zombie hunter grabbing his arm, braking it, and making the hater stab himself.

                 Merlin bagan to walk towards the leader. "Y-you think you've won? HA! There's more of us and haters gonna hate HAHAHA!" Said the leader.

               "Well ponies," Said Flash as he landed next to the leader. "Gonna pwn." He finished as he stabbed the leader with his wing-blade.

                "Well glad that's over." Said Merlin.

             "Don't worry girls I'm almost done." Said Braden as he cut the main 6 loose.

                 "Merlin! thank Celestia your ok!" Said Twilight as she flew towards him.

               "I just want to know where Reece is I-" Merlin began but was cut off by Twilight giving him a hug.

              "By the way, you know how you said hugging leads to kissing?" Twilight asked Merlin.

             "Yeah?" Merlin asked.

                "Well you were right." Twilight said as she began to kiss him.

                All Merlin saw last was Braden and Rainbow Dash doing the same thing and Flash Sentry through a rock at the side of Merlin's head and then all he saw was black.

How to cover this up

                                                              Ponyville: Town square, 6:00 p.m.

                   "Merlin! MERLIN!!!" Yelled Twilight after Merlin got a rock to the head. "Who did this!?"

                 No one saw who did it but the first pony to run up was Flash Sentry. "Sweet Celestia! He's bleeding!" Yelled Flash who realized the only one that saw him do that was Merlin. (Oh no why did I do that! Ok ok just calm down. He and Twilight were... no I love her and she loves me... doesn't she?) Flash thought to himself.

                 "Ooooohhhhh...Jesus. My head." Merlin said as he put his hand on the spot where he was bleeding.

               Flash covered Merlin's mouth and said. "We need to get him to a hospital."

                 "O-ok... but who threw that rock?" Twilight said as Braden and Dawson picked up Merlin and started walking towards the nearest hospital.

               "Maybe... um... maybe?" Flash Sentry said as he thought up a lie. "Maybe one of the enemies are still alive and before they ran away they threw the rock and-"

                   "I don't think anypony could survive from one of those human weapons." Twilight cut off Flash as she looked at one of the dead haters bodies. "I mean just look at them... they have holes inside of them."

                   "Well, maybe one of them was shot in the foreleg or..." Flash Sentry started but stopped when he realized Twilight wasn't buying it. "M-maybe we should just go back to your place or find a nice place to sit down and talk because well... we haven't seen each other in awhile."

                 "I'm not going anywhere untill I find out who did this!" Twilight said angry that someone hurt Merlin.

                "EVERYPONY!!! May I have your attention!" Twilight yelled as everypony and human looked at her. "Does anypony know who threw that rock at Merlin!?" The Z Team shook their heads while most of the ponies looked confused. "Ugh... I'm going to go check on Merlin." Twilight said as she hung her head low and put her ears down.

               Flash Sentry knew that Merlin would rat him out or, if his insane side was still in controll, rip his wings off and shove them up his ass. "Wait, Twilight!"

                "What?" Twilight asked still upset.

                "Do you want to go get some dinner first?" Flash asked with a smile.

                "I'd rather be with Merlin right now." Twilight said beginning to walk towards the hospital again.

                 "Do you... love him?" Flash asked beginning to get very worried.

                "You know I never really thought about it," Twilight half telling the truth half lieing. "But, yes I do love him... but I don't know if he feels the same way."

                   "B-but I thought that me and you would be together!" Flash almost yelled getting some attention from close by ponies.

               "Wow, that escalated quickly." Said someone sitting over at a table in a red and black suit.

              "Not you again." Said Twilight forgetting what Flash had just said.

                  "Hey I said I'd come back sometimes when I don't have anything to do." Said the man in the red and black suit.

              "Deadpool, you broke the law here... more than once." Said Flash walking towards Deadpool.

             "Ok ok, I guess I should leave since the author of this story hasn't writen the crossover of me yet which will be the one he writes first!" Deadpool said.

               "No he's not, the readers get to deside which crossover comes first." Said Chuck Greene as he came out of a random house.

              "Oh really? I thought the author was threatened enough to-" Deadpool started but I cut him off.

             "I was! I was!" I said as I jumped off a roof top of a building.

             "So is MY story coming first or his!?" Asked Deadpool.

            "That's up to my readers so go threaten them." I said as the Twilight from the real world teleported next to me.

              "Cole! You got to stop this NOW!" Said the real Twilight.

             "Why, I'm having fun?" I said as I pulled out a handgun from my pocket and shot at Colgate's hooves. "I DON'T HAVE TO USE YOUR TOOTHPASTE!!!!!" I screamed as she ran but ended up crashing into Pewdiepie causeing him to pull out El diablo and shooting her tail off.

                "EL DIABLO!!!" Pewdiepie yelled as he did so.

              "The forth wall is... GONE!" Yelled the real Twilight.

               "Yeah your right, what should I do?" I asked myself as Pewdiepie began to beat Batman with Mr. Chair.

               "Oh wait I know." I said as President Bill Caretaker ran by nude.

              "HEY MERLIN!!! WAKE UUUPPPPPP!!!!!" I yelled as Merlin woke up from the weridest (but awesomest) dream ever.

              "Jesus my head feels like hammered shit." Merlin said as he sat up and opened his eyes.

               "Merlin! You're ok!" Merlin heard and before he knew it had Twilight rap her forelegs around him.

               "H-hey Twilight umm..." Merlin said but was uncomfortable around her due to the fact that she locked lips with him.

             "So how are you feeling?" Twilight asked as she loosened her hug and put her muzzle to his nose.

             "Well, I said I feel like hammered shit but I'm alot happier now that I know you're here." Merlin said with a smile but still a little bit of uncomfort.

             "Aaaawwwww you're so nice to me." Twilight said rubbing her left cheek up against Merlin's. (And by that I mean face cheeks... perverts.)

                 "I was hired to keep you save at all costs." Merlin said making Twilight frown.

              "W-will you stay after you're done with the job?" Twilight asked getting worried.

                 "Well, yeah I was gonna go home after..." Merlin started but then noticted Twilight had a tear rolling down her cheek. "But," The former zombie hunter said catching the purple alicorns attention. "I think I'm gonna want ta stay."

                Twilight got a wide smile on her face then began to kiss him on the cheek. Merlin gave his (now you can say it) marefriend a hug then after awhile of kissing and hugging Merlin tryed to get up.

                "Huh... I thought I'd be in the hospital after getting a rock to the head." Merlin said realizing he was in Twilight's house.

                "We did take you to the hospital but after nurse redheart patched you up she said I could take you home to rest." Twilight said. "By the way, do you know who threw that rock at you?"

               "Yeah, it was-" Merlin started but was cut off by none other than Flash Sentry.

             "Hey! Glad your feeling better." Flash said with a nervous smile.

               "Um, Merlin? You were saying?" Asked Twilight.

             Merlin just stood there and glared at Flash making the pony even more nervous. "You know what Twilight. It doesn't matter, I'll just crack a bat over his head when his not looking one day." Merlin said as Twilight saw why he was glaring at Flash.

                "Hey Flash, would you like to book?" Twilight asked levitating a book above him.

                 "N-no I'm ok." Flash said as he backed away.

               "Ok how about five books?" Asked the purple alicorn as she levitated four more books above him.

            "No really I'm fine." Said Flash looking like he was ready to run.

             "Oh I know, you can have them all." Twilight said as she levitated all the books in the room above him and not wasting a second to drop them.

               "Jesus, Twilight." Merlin said with a chuckle as he looked down at her and she returned the stare. "I really think we're gonna get along very well."

                 Twilight then got on her hind legs to hug him. "I love you." She said as Merlin returned the hug.

                "I love you too but there's just one problem about me." Merlin said.

                  "What ever it is I can over look it." Said Twilight.

                  "I have an insane side of me that has made me think killing is fun." Merlin said causing Twilight's eyes to go wide.

                  "You don't really think that killing is fun... do you?" Twilight asked getting worried.

                 "Sorry to say it but yeah, I'm one insane trigger happy zombie hunter." Merlin said before Twilight stopped hugging him and began to walk out of the room.

                "Y-you get some rest and um... we'll talk about this... tomarrow." Is all she said before shuting the door.

Where's Reece been?

             Author's Note: Hey guys sorry for no chapter yesterday but thats because I had no idea what to write untill it hit me today, Reece hasn't been around so this chapter is what he's been up to while Ponyville was under attack.

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                                                                   Ponyville: Sweet apple acres, the barn

              Reece was still asleep in the barn after helping Applejack and Big Mac buck appletrees. Of corse the ponies bucked the trees but Reece kept running at them then jumped into the air and using both of his legs to kick it even though every time he did this he would fall on the ground. Applejack kept telling him he should stop it and that he could get hurt but Reece would keep doing it.

               "HEY! Wake up!" Yelled someone who also kicked Reece at the same time.

              "Who the hell are you!?" Reece asked as he got up to see a combat rifle pointing at his chest.

              "Your coming with me asshole!" Said the man who had a shirt on that said Ponies suck.

             Reece took one look at the shirt and said. "Fuck you too."

               The man shot Reece inthe chest four times untill Reece fell to the hay he was sleeping on.

             "You should have -" The hater began to say but was cut off by Reece holding up his arm with his hand cannon in it.

            *BANG* Was all that it took to put a hole in the hater's forehead. "Like I said." Reece said as he held up his middle finger to the dead body as it fell to the ground.

              "Hey what's going on in there!?" Said another hater from outside.

             Reece got up and grabbed his shotgun and the pair of brass knuckles. "Come innnnnnn!" Reece said as he cocked his shotgun.Three haters opened the barn doors to have the one in the middle's head get blown off. "Sorry I didn't have the place cleaned before you all came over." He said as he shot another in the face.

               "You basterd!" Yelled the last one as he shot Reece in the stomach causing Reece to loose his balance.

            "Yeah that's nice." Said Reece as he shot the hater's... um... unpretected spot.

              "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Screamed the hater as he fell to the ground bleeding to death.

           "You guys gotta learn," Reece said as he ripped open his shirt to reveal a bullet proof vest. "It's called bullet proof for a reason."

            Reece walked outside to see the house that the Apple family lives in getting assulted by the hater's.

         "Hey let go of me!" Said Applejack as the haters put a bag over her head and hit her in the back of the head knocking her out.

             "There he is! SHOOT HIM!!!" Yelled one of the hater's as they opened fire. Luckily for Reece, they were all horrible shots.

             "OH SHIT!" Reece screamed as he began to run down the hill untill he fell into a cellar door. "OW! God dangit!" He yelled then it hit him... no it really hit him. "OUCH!!! Oh come on! Why..." Reece stopped when he realized that the cellar was full of apple cider. Reece got up as fast as he could to pull out his lighter, rip off the right sleeve of his shirt, and made a molotov out of a cider bottle. Reece lit the molotov and threw it at the cellar door just as the hater's ran in.

               "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" They all screamed making Reece cover his ears.

            Reece then tured around to try and find a way out. "Come on come on." He said as he knocked on the walls untill he found one that was hollow on the other side. He picked up a mallet and began to hit the wall.

             *I don't feel like looking up what noise a bomb would make so think of one yourself*

             Reece tured back around to see the fire he started was burning the apple cider. "Oh come on!" He said beginning to try and smash the wall again. Just then a crack formed in the wall. "YES!" He yelled as he made the crack bigger and bigger untill there was a hole big enough for him to fit through.

              *BOMB NOISES*

              And with that Reece jumped through the hole to find himself in what seemed to mine shaft.

            "Hey, who and what are you!?" Yelled a dog that had a vest on with pockets full of dimonds.

            Reece remembered when Merlin was telling him why he should watch "My little pony" and that it was a great show.

"For once, Merlin has helped me." He said as he got up and started walking towards the dimond dog.

               "Get away from me you thi-" The dimond dog started but was cut off by Reece planting his boot in the dog's face.

              "Heh heh heh." Reece said as he saw a mine cart and began to push it untill it got momentum. "Alright let's get out of here minecraft stile." He said as he jumped in the cart and began to reload his shotgun.

               "What is that thing!?" Yelled a dimond dog that was up ahead.

                "Man I'm gonna have to tell Applejack that she's got some dirty dog's under her house!" Reece said as he started to shoot the dimond dogs that had began to throw their dimonds at him.

                 "Stop him! Stop him now!!!" Screamed one of the dimond dogs.

               "Fuck you that's our job!" Yelled a hater that was in a cart with two other haters in carts behind him.

              Reece looked ahead to see the tracks split into three different ways. He took the middle while the haters behind him went on both sides and one of them followed Reece. Reece shot the cart wheel of the one on his left while the on on his right did the same to him.

                "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Screamed the hater on Reece's left as he fell out and got beaten by some near by dimond dogs while the one on Reece's right crashed into a rock with dead end painted on it because the dimond dogs were lazy to put up a sign. Reece tured around and jumped onto the cart behind him before his cart fell of the tracks.

                "Get your own!." Reece yelled as he punched the hater in the face knocking him out of the cart. Reece turned around just in time to see the end of the cave. "OH SHI-" Was all he could say before he flew out the cave in the cart and into a river.

Where's Reece been? (part 2)

                                                      Ever free forest: Unknown area, River

                Reece had just gotten out of the river, and as he did so, noticed it was late afternoon. "Damnit, I got to get back to Ponyville." He said as he looked around for his shotgun. "Shit it must have been washed down stream." Reece looked ahead to see a trail and said. "Hope that leads me to town." And with that he began to walk on the trail.

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                                                    Ever free forest: Hater's bunker, The front doors

                 "Hey Jim." Said a hater that was standing guard.

                  "Yeah?" Said Jim who was also a hater.

                  "Do you think that murdering the main 6 will keep hasbro from starting My little pony back up? Because if they just deside to pick out a new main 6 then all of this will have been for... nothing." Said Jim's friend.

                  "They may... but if they do we can just kill them-" Jim was saying before he watched his friend get a bullet to the head.

                 *BANG*

                  "So that's why you all are doing this." Said Reece who was walking by and over heard the two haters talking.

                  "You son of a-" Jim started but once again was cut off by Reece pulling the triger of his hand cannon.

                 *BANG*

                 "HA! These guys are complete idiots." Reece said as he watched the doors begin to open. "Bring it on you... you." Reece stopped talking when he saw the truck drive out of the doors and right at him. "Not part of the plan!" Reece yelled as he jumped to his left before the truck hit him.

                "Stand still dickhead!" Yelled the driver as he tried to turn the truck around.

               "How'm I suppost to deel with..." Reece said as he remembered. "The river." After finishing his sentence he ran back towards the river as the truck followed but having troble because the trail has alot of turns on it.

                "What are ya waiting for!? SHOOT EM!!!" Screamed the drive as he pushed the hater next to him's head out the window.

                 "Al-*pant pant*-most *pant pant* there *pant pant*." Reece said as the bullets began to go all around him. The second Reece got infront of the river he jumped into the air and dived into the water below.

                Reece swam down stream untill he couldn't hold his breath any more. "HHHHHHHUUUUUUU!" Reece took in as much air as he could as he came to the surface. He looked ahead of him to see the river was getting smaller and smaller untill he saw a house in the distance. "Looks like a house from Ponyville." Reece said as he began to swim towards the house.

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                                                           Ponyville: Fluttershy's house

                Edward was sitting in a chair infront of Fluttershy's house when he heard Reece's voice. "HEY I NEED SOME HELP OVER HERE!!!" Reece Yelled as he tried to crawl out of the water but slipped and fell down the hill back into it.

              "Reece! Oh man I'm glad to see you're ok." Said Edward as he ran towards Reece to help him out of the water. "What happened to you?"

              "I found the Jerk off hide out in the forest back there." Reece said as he pointed down the stream. "Just remember that they don't like visiters."

              "Here we need to get you dried off." Edward said as he ran inside and after a minute came back out with a towl and gave it to his wet friend.

              "We need to get the team together for a meeting." Reece said.

               "Why?" Asked Edward.

              "I know why the anti-bronies are doing this and after we all know. We're going to go down to their base and burn it to the ground." Reece said as he walked towards Ponyville with Edward following behind.

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                 Reece and Edward were heading towards Twilight's house when they saw Flash Sentry walk out the front door looking hurt and dizzy. "Hey what's wrong with you?" Edward asked as they came up next to him.

                  "Love hurts." Flash said as he out streched his wings and flew off.

                  Edward knew what just happened to him but Reece was clueless to what was going on. They looked at each other and shrugged then turned around and walked into Twilight's house. "Moooommmm daaaaaddd, I'm hooooommmmmmeeeeee!" Reece yelled.

                 "I'm down heeeerrrrrreeeee!" Said Twilight with a giggle.

                "Oh yeah, I'm still not used to all you ponies being so short." Reece said as he looked down to the alicorn who's horn came up to his hip.

                "We came to get Merlin for a meeting." Said Edward.

               "I'll go get him now." Twilight said as she out streched her wings and flew up the stairs.

               Reece leaned over to Edward and whispered. "You know one of these ponies wouldn't even have to get on their knees to-" Reece was cut off from his dirty joke by Edward smacking him on the back of the head just as Twilight and Merlin walked down the stairs.

                 "Ok then let's go." Said Twilight as her and Merlin walked towards Edward and Reece.

                "Wait, why are you coming?" Asked Reece and Edward almost at the same time but because they weren't cartoons they didn't do it at the very same time.

                 "Well, Merlin is suppost to be protecting me and you two are protecting my friends. Where is Applejack and Fluttershy?" Twilight teased the two causing both of their eyes to go wide.

               "Helllloooooo? Are you guys dead?" Merlin asked. All of a sudden Edward and Reece both turned around and took off towards the pony that they are protecting's house. "Hey wait up!" Merlin yelled as he smiled, picked Twilight up how a man would carry his wife, and ran after the two.

                 Twilight looked up at Merlin and smiled happy that he had felt the same way she did about him. Twilight began to day dream about the two of them going on dates, getting married, and some things you wouldn't think she would think of untill she remembered. (He thinks it is fun to kill bad guys and has an insane side of him that takes control when he gets angry. But he wouldn't hurt someone he cares about... would he.) Twilight thought to herself untill her thoughts were interupted by none other than Merlin.

               "Twilight?" Merlin said as he looked into her eyes.

                 "What, huh?" Twilight said shaking her head to wake herself up.

               "I said, do you want me to put you down?" Merlin repeated himself with a smile.

              "Oh um... I think I'm ok like this. If that's ok with you?" Twilight asked.

                "Sure." Merlin said as Twilight put her forelegs around his neck pulling him a little closer.

breaking, entering, and killing

Author's Note: Hey guys sorry to say this but sadly I have no idea what to do with this story so please forgive me if you liked it but I'm gonna rap it up and set it free so if you want to write your own version of this then send me a message of what it will be about and I'll say yes and look forward to reading it so now, enjoy what's left of this rushed through bad/good story. *smile and cookie to you all*

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                                                     Ever free forest: unknown, outside of anti-brony base.

      "So you really think this is a good idea?" Asked Jak as he helped Edward rip a hole in the brick wall.

      "Yeah, why?" Asked Ed as he smashed into the wall but tried to be quiet about it.

       "Well the plan is first, break in, second, gather information, and then just let Merlin's crazy ass side out." Said Jak as they all entered the hole in the wall (no pun intended) and began to line up next to a corner and looked around it to find one guard.

       "Well, how's about I-" Braden started but before he could finish Reece was running down the hall and just as the guard turned around Reece was already right in front of him.

       "Hello." Reece said in a funny voice as if he were telling a joke.

      "Holy crap!" The guard called out right before Reece stuck a knife in his heart.

       Braden looked were his knife used to be on his belt but only saw the holster. "Damn, he got blood all over my knife. Come on I just cleaned it." Braden said to himself.

      "I think it came from over here!" Yelled a hater as two more guards came around the corner.

       But they couldn't say anything before Reece grabbed both of their throats and strangled them to death. "Let's move." He said as he dropped both of the dead bodies to the ground.

       The Z Team walked through the hallways for awhile until they saw to anti-brony guards talking when they should be guarding the door that says... 'do not enter'. Merlin realized what the door said and wanted to enter really badly.

       "Dawson." Merlin said as he looked at his little cousin. "I want to go in that room so I need you to take out the guard on the right and I'll take on the other, got it?"

       Dawson nodded then looked around at the ceiling until he saw an air vent. "Give me a boost." He said to Reece who did so with ease.

        Merlin looked down the hallway and waited until Dawson fell out of the air vent and used his tomahawk to chop into the guard's skull.

        "OH SHIT!" Screamed the other guard as he tried to pick up his Uzi which he had placed on the ground.

        But before the hater could shoot at all, Merlin was right behind him with his knife in hand. Merlin stabbed the hater in between the eyes, took the knife out, and then stuck both of his hands in the wound and ripped the anti-brony's head in half.

       "Good job guys." said Ed as he and the rest of the team walked up to the door and entered. Merlin was the last to go in but before he did he took one last look at the 'do not enter' sign. "Heh heh, I love breaking rules."

       The Z Team walked into the room and the second they saw the inside there eyes went wide. There was dead bodies everywhere but... they were still moving. "This... is why I quit!" Said Edward as he pulled out Merlin's handgun and put it in his mouth.

        "NO!!!!-" *BANG* Jak screamed before he fell to the ground dead.

       Merlin looks up at me with a frown. "This is how your going to finish this? Your going to kill my friends?"

      Just as Merlin finished his sentence a large pipe landed on Jak's head and broke his neck.

       "If I'm gonna die I gonna die all cool like." Reece said. He then picked up Ed's grenade belt and pulled the pin on one. "See ya guys soooooonnnnn!!!" Reece said as he jumped out the window followed by an explosion and screams.

       "Well this is Fucked up!" Yelled Dawson as the bodies all got up and began to run at the three.

       "Freakin bitches!" Merlin yelled as he picked up Jak's SMG and opened fire.

        Braden looked up at me and said. "I was hoping that this would be a happily ever fucking after story..."

       Wait how did you-

        "But nooooooo! You have to kill my friends so now. NOW! WE GONNA KILL YOU AND BRING THIS WHOLE BASE DOWN AT THE SAME TIME MORE OR LESS!!!!!" Screamed Braden as he picked up the RPG that belonged to the late Edward.

      NO WAIT!!!

      But it was too late for me because Braden pulled the trigger causing the base to collapse, the story to be gone, and destroy my old computer leaving a blank screen.

     Me: ... Thus comes the end to my first story ever... and my old computer...

      *Knock knock*

       Me: IF THAT'S YOU LYRA I SWEAR TO GOD!!! *answers door*

        Derpy: Delivery for... um Coley... Coley?

       Me: Coleyon5, why is that so hard for everyone to say?

     Derpy: Here you go, your new alienware computer!

      Me: FUCK YEAH!!! HEY TWILIGHT!!!

     Twi: What is it!? Me and Flash have a date and I don't want to be late!

     Me: Lookedy look look!!!

      Twi: *GASP* Buck my date lets play Minecraft!!!

     *The new author and new Princess jump into the air and highfive then stay  frozen in the air until the screen goes black.*