Off to a Human Adventure.by Orion 141ChaptersMy name's MichaelMine's VinylNow who is This?A long walk down a Short PierDistressA Mess to be Reckoned WithDeliciously DeviousLet's TalkTime for FunAnd his name was DagonMy name's MichaelChapter I My name’s Michael Hey, name’s Michael, nice to meet ya, my friends names are: Kurt, who is a COMPLETE asshole but still is the only voice of reason at time. Nat, who is kind of milquetoast but means well in most situations, however he does snap and go on rants every now and then. Gil, who is a bit of a cynic, sadist, pessimist, and oddly an optimist. You will relive our adventures through our eyes. But please, control yourself, keep the jizz of the keyboards... You set out from you dorm hoping to catch that cute chick who runs the espresso down at the school coffee shop, it’s still a few minutes before dawn so your fairly certain she’ll need a hand, the perfect time to get a few words in, and even a few digits out. As you walk over the grassy path, you twirl your keys on your finger, today is you last day in this god forsaken school, one more day and you’re home free! Well okay that might be a little untrue, you still have three idiots to follow you around, but this moment of glee is quickly stomped out as you turn horizontal and see the ground coming closer at an alarming rate. Just great. You slam into the grass with breakneck speed. However you just bounce and land a few feet way from where you were standing. Yes!, I’m dead! However this is untrue as you still hear the sound of that god damned Robin! In all seriousness why is that hell spawn always flying around me?! The shell shock wears off as you get to you feet, okay your first directive is to find that perpetrator and make it pay. Let’s find this bitch and throw it into some random ca- WHAT?! As you stand only a few inches away from the very thing you tripped you, all you can think is “da fuq?”. In the place of a stone, brick, or even a stick. Lay an unconscious girl, she was thin, incredibly thin, and her head was covered by dark blue hair with a lighter blue streak, which made you believe she was female. Fearing the worst you bolted to her side in ten seconds flat. Wait..... Just roll with it! You placed you hand on her neck, you found a pulse, okay, one fire put out. You finally notice that she was COMPLETELY naked, well a pair of heavy black framed, purple lens glasses did lay near her head. You quickly look around, no one. You reach for your pocket, but before you do, you remember your fucking phone is at the dorm. Well shit, she’s my god damn problem then. You roll her over to see if she has any wounds or any other reasons why she’s passed out in the grass. You find none, Okay, who dropped the ball and didn’t invite me to the party? You grab her glasses and place them in your pocket and then proceed to try and pick her up. After almost a minute of awkward tries, you suck up your embarrassment and put you hand under her neck and you other behind the knee, Yes, fuck you, I don’t know what that part of the body is called. Once she is at gut level you notice she is very light, and short too, only about 5'5'' by you estimates. You set off for your dorm and your phone, and god knows what else. Mine's VinylChapter II Mines Vinyl Well this is turning into a major shit storm, but let’s continue where we last left off..... You awkwardly reach into you pocket for your keys, god damned Gil and his fucking superstitions. You clumsily unlock you door and make a beeline for you bed. You place her in your bed and throw your cover on her, Okay once she gets up, talk to her, if she doen’t get up call the cops, okay cool. Remain cool. Now that a small part of you crisis is over you decided that you earned a little 4Chan time, after all, you might just have save a life! You jerry rigged a makeshift tripod and place one of Kurt’s many web-cams on it, Okay why the hell does this SOB have over forty of these fucking things? Then hooked it up to one of your monitors, and then you proceed to waste time for around six hours, completely forgetting about the naked girls in your bed. You only snap out of your zombie like trace when you hear an ear splitting screech. Man this bitch can fucking yell! This scream is the destroyer of worlds, it sent you four feet into the air and to the left about five feet, well that could just have been your reflexes. You land on the hard wood floor with a manly thud, at least some of your dignity remains. You hop to you feet and faced the girl in the bed, she’s huddled up in the corner, fists deathly white from how hard she’s holding them closed. “S-stay away!” Yelled the girl as you eased up on you stance. Got damn it, if she keeps yelling, half the campus will think I’m a fucking rapist! You put your hands out in the most none threatening pose you could think of. “Calm down, just cal-” You were cut off by her.. “I-i-it talks!” Yelled the blue haired girl as she tried to get away further, with no success. Shit, I’m dealing with some kind of hippy or some shit..... “Calm down!, Just chill and let me explain!” You yelled, this shut her up, it also gave you a chance to look at her face awake. She was very pale, almost powder white, however you could see a faint glow of blood under her skin. Well she is human, well for the most part. Her fists were still bright white, Fuck if she doesn’t stop she cut of her blood supple. Her eyes were a deathly red, they were also massive, two times the size of a normal person’s, however it didn’t look freakish, just gave her an anime feel. You could make out a small tattoo on her right side, lower than her rib cage, an eighth note. The sudden realization came down on you like a million tons of brick and all manner of heavy, foot by half foot sized objects. Vinyl Scratch. “Please, what ever you are don’t hurt me, please.” Said Vinyl as she began to cry. SHIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!! “Oh, no no no no no, I’m sorry. Please.” You put on you be fatherly tone you could master, too bad you never paid attention when Gil talked to his brothers. The tears slowly stopped, but only ever so slightly. Your heart stopped it hundreds mile dash. “Okay, fine.” Said Vinyl in a trembling tone, it really hurt to see her like this. Time to play story teller. You spent the next few minutes telling her about you and the rest of humanity to the best of your ability, leaving out the part of us being filthy beasts. “Okay, you’re a human, and you’re part of humanity? Well, not the oddest thing in Equestria." Said Vinyl as she looked around the room. "But where am I?” Asked Vinyl, Okay just dance around the subject and everything with be alright. “Can I please have a drink of water?” Asked Vinyl as she put her fist to her throat. Thank god she changed it, I was about to ask if she heard any good rumors. You happily get up and leave for the water. When you return you hold out the water, expecting her the reach out for it, instead she looked at the glass, then focused hards, soon beads of sweat formed on her forehead, alas she gave up. “W-why wont my magic work?” Questioned Vinyl as she tried to recover from the ordeal. You stood there with your dick in the wind. Once again the realization hit you like a train. “Uh, m-magic? What do you mean?” You asked, it must have seemed like a mockery. “Yes, my magic! ALL Unicorns can use magic!” Yelled Vinyl as she slammed her, still balled fists into your bed. Okay, calm, good, what? Oh fuck you body, why must you sweat?! “Uh, check your forehead.” You said this in the most nonchalant way possible. She did so. Once again, with her hands in fucking FISTS! She recoiled with with the reflex of a snake. “W-w-what did you do to me?!?!” Screamed Vinyl. Fuck. “Nothing! I found you like this! Now calm the fuck down!” You yelled, this rendered her motionless, and you speechless. “I’m so, so, so, so sorry! Please, you’re human, now please Vinyl. Calm down.” Said you after a long pause. This allowed her to move again, well if only to send her into a fit. She flailed and kicked. She nearly kicked the light from the ceiling. Once all her energy was drained, she laid there, motionless, but still breathing. “How did you know my name?” You decide to answer that with a question. "Easy, I heard about you, about where are you from?" The Clock ticked by, seconds turned into minutes. God damn, she can really take her fucking sweet ass time! You leaned up from you chair and looked at her eyes, they were open, she was thinking “I look, like you?” She asked, slight disgust filled her voice. Back the fuck up, fuck you! I’m no English Boy Band member, but I’m did have a few girlfriends in the past. “I’ll try and over look that as an insult, but yes, you do look like me, with clear differences. Mainly between the leg. Girls have a lighter build then most men and have large breasts to feed children." "I learned this in grade school, when I was a Filly." Replied Vinyl. Okay, I'm telling a fucking story, well okay it's not a story per say, but still! "Women are normally shorter and don’t have a, uh, um, you know. A cock.” WOW! Could you have been any more blunt! “A male chicken? Why do you have one of those?’ Oh thank god, you can save this. “Uh, I mean a penis.” ....Fuck you and your idiotic thinking...... Now who is This?Chapter III Now Who Is This? A look of befuddlement was plastered across Vinyl’s face “I’m not a Filly! I know how this shit works!” Yelled Vinyl as she tried to stand upright, only to be caught by you as she started to fall forward. “Yeah, sure. But humans are much different from Ponies, for on-" As if cued up, a knock on the dorm door shattered the awkward silence. By the heavenly beings! A Saviour! You dashed to the door with all the haste you were permitted. The door creaked open to reveal a VERY crossed man. Oh shit, why the hell is he h- By god, I so fucking dead. The man in the door way wasn’t much taller than you, in fact he was a bit shorter, standing in around 5‘11. “Michael, you sake of shit, you missed the meeting, Miss Sheyll was pissed the hell off, at the very least you could have called.” Despite you intervention. Well okay I didn’t do jack shit. The man entered with out a second thought. The man rounded the corner to find Vinyl, still completely naked, however her legs were crossed in a way that block view of her womanhood. Oh thank god, we can't let that happened, we might get a laugh. “Mike, what in the hell is this? Who is this?!” Questioned the man. Okay, his name’s Kurt, happy? “Kurt, calm down, I’ll explain.” This didn’t seem to do much to Kurt’s current fuming state. “I fucking hope so.” Barked Kurt “Why do you call it a cock?” Nice timing bitch. Gil and Nat stood looking at Vinyl, while Kurt paced around the room, you were sitting beside Vinyl. The only sounds in the room were Kurt’s foot steps and the ticking of the clock. “Michael, why am I always underestimating you? To think, you, out of all the people on campus, have a girl, completely naked, sitting in your bed, and you didn’t invite us.” Okay, scratch that, Gil is the asshole. “I swear, this isn’t what it looks like!” You yelled in your defence. “Oh yeah? Let me guess, you went for an early morning stroll, and just happened to find a chick, whom lay passed out, and you just happened to have forgotten your phone, and no one just happened to be around, so you took it upon your self to rescue her?” See?! Asshol- wait... He planed this! I know it! “I’m not even going to add to that.” You know what? I think ALL of my friends are assholes, even this milquetoast motherfucker is messing with me! “Okay Michael, I’ll give you the befit of a doubt, explain. But please, no sound effects.” ......... You spent the rest of the morning retelling the story to you three comrades. Only Kurt seemed to make a wise ass comment here and there. At the end I told them about Vinyl, this time Kurt and Gil were on the ground laugher like asshole, Nat just quietly snickered. “Fucking Christ, Michael, you really should think about becoming a Bard, god damn.” Said Kurt as he wiped away a tear. Fucking asshole, he's always like this! Gil and Nat chattered to each other for a few moments, once they were done, Gil spoke. “Uh, okay. Vinyl is it. It’s clear you need a place, we’ll talk it through later, until then, care to tell us what happened before you awoke in this man’s filthy bed?” Okay, I may sleep in this bed, but it is still very clean. Vinyl slowly nodded, she opened her mouth to speak, but she quickly closed it. “Vinyl, please?” Asked Gil. “W-well, I woke up like any other day, trashed, that night I spent the whole night blasting wubs, Octia was already up, getting ready for her train ride into Canterlot, she had a huge project coming up, she told me that I need to be there, I told her 'sure! I can make room for you next week’. The rest of the day was mostly cleaning. The club was trashed, cans and bottles were everywhere, and some places even have vomit, I went to this little sweet shop for lunch, then I went home and locked my door, the room was dark, then I opened my eyes and I saw Michael in the corner of my eye, you know the rest.” Gil let this settle, Kurt stopped walking then moved to the window. Nat just then spoke up. “Uh, um.. How do I put this. I think you great and all, but. You can’t stay here, nor with me. I like my privacy, and I think. I think Michael likes his too.” “What?! Kurt and I don’t?!” Barked Gil. Damn, he’s still hard on Nat. “Uh, no, that's not what I meant, but I just thought that you and Kurt are better suited for this kind of thing.” He’s right I let my friend's Gold Fish die, okay. “Hell no! She can’t stay with me! Lex with fucking kill me! Or take my dick, and I like my dick!” Yelled Kurt as he took a few step forward. Gil’s eye grew wide. “Wait! What? But. I. You. Fuck you.” With that Gil jupmed out of his chair and walked over to the window. “Uh, guys. I’m still here, I think I get some say in this. Don’t you?” Asked Vinyl “Yes, but given the people you have to chose from it’s clear, Kurt is in a very tight relationship, Nat is a very secretive kind of dude, you know, Witchcraft? Me? I like the idea of being free, plus, what I do on the Internet is best kept to myself, which leave the retarded Canadian." Gil slowly turned his head, which had a look of grim apparel. Oh shit!, he mad! A long walk down a Short PierChapter IV A long walk down a Short Pier “No! Fuck you! You found her! You keep her!” Yelled Gil as he sprinted for the door, Kurt quickly blocking it to prevent him from escaping. “Yes I did, but now, I give her to you!” You push Vinyl forward as you said that. “I refuse!” Replied Gil as he placed his hands on her chest and pushed her back. This sent a natureal impulse to her brain. “Hands to yourself Brony!” Yelled Vinyl as she quickly grabbed his hand and twisted it. Gil ignored this and stepped back into Kurt. “This. Is. None negotiable!” Yelled Kurt as he stepped away from the door way. A look of frustration was slowly working it’s way onto Nat’s face. “Michael you fuck, you found her, that means YOU take care of her!” “Dude! The last creature I tried to take care of fucking starved to death while I played CoC!” “So? That was Hamster! This is a girl, she’ll bitch at you when you need to do something!” “SHUT THE FUCK UP!! GIL, TAKE HER!!” Yelled Nat at the top of his lungs. Fuck, Nat yelling? Ah!, he’s listening! Yes, now I can go jack off. “Fine, you fucking win, *sigh* fine.” With that Gil slowly walked out, stopped at the door, motioned for Vinyl to follow. And she did, she was practically shaking because of Nat. Once they had left the dorm, Kurt turned to Nat and yourself. “Didn’t she forget clothing?” Asked Nat. “Yes, I’m sure Gil will figure it out. Also, what’s her name?” Asked Kurt. You walked down to the parking lot, but it wasn’t until you got to your car you realized that this girl, who you are now completely reasonable for, is completely naked! You quickly look around, no one. By god, the luck of my ancestral Irish blood is running think! “Uh, what the hay is this?!” Questioned the girl as she stood in awe. Without a moment's hesitation you pulled off your shirt, exposing your chest and torso, it was covered in burn marks, scars, and even a bullet wound, and you throw it to her. “Put it on.” You commanded. Better a minor than a major charge for public nudity. She gave you a look of confusion, but obeyed. “Okay, get in, we need to get you to a safe place.” “Wait! What?! Is someone after me?! Is that why you and Michael were arguing about me?!” She questioned with the panic of a psychopath. This is going to a long fuckin- Wait, how long do I need to stay with her?! Oh please god let her leave before Jaq get here!! “No, just put it on and get in.” Once again you raised your voice. Vinyl nodded and opened the door. Very clumsily I might add. The drive to the Canadian side of the campus wasn’t very long, only about five minutes. However along they way you and Vinyl had a talk. “Where are we going?” “Canadian Campus.” “Why?” “I live there.” “Oh, what are we going to do there?” “Sleep, get you some clothes, and eat.” “Eat? I could go for a nice big Hay Burger.” “....... Uh, what?” “A Hay Burger, you know, buns with tomato, onion, pickles, hay, chess, and another bun?” “Humans can’t eat hay.” “Wait, what DO you eat?” Okay, she’s from Equestria, don’t lie to her, but don’t tell the whole truth. “We eat fruit and vegetables, apples, oranges, grapes, potatoes, rice, wheat, st- spice.” “Oh, is that all we eat?” Using 'we' already. “Nope.” “What else it there?” “Tons. Most of our planet is water, but the parts that arn’t are mostly covered in trees, and those trees old a lot of food, but in the Old World, most tree have been cut down.” “Yeah, Michael told me.” “So, you just opened your eyes, and you were here. No flash of light, no skies changing blood red, no heavenly voice, nothing?” “Like I said, nothing, I wonder how long it’s been.” “From what I read, a day in Equestria is a full year on Terra. So you have about, 14 years to waste. Or look for a way home, but you never know, you might like it here.” “Not a chance in Tartarus.” “Yeah, I heard a few people say that, anyway, we’re here.” You and Vinyl pull up to a seven story red and white brick build, with the Canadian Nation School Sigil on it. “Let’s go.” Said you as you opened to door and placed your right foot on the concrete. “How?” Asked Vinyl as she looked about the door. “Pull the lever.” Replied you as you stepped out. “Oh, sorry.” Said Vinyl in a sheepish tone. Vinyl stepped out of the car, a look of awe crept it’s way onto her face. “How?!” Asked Vinyl as she cocked her head back to look at the roof. “What? The building?” Asked you in response. “Yes, how it you make it so tall?” Asked Vinyl as she took a few steps back to get a better view. “It’s only seven stories, most buildings built in 2025 were ten stories at the very least.” Replied you as you looked up at the building then at her. “In Ponyvill, the tallest build is Town Hall, and it’s only four stories.” Said Vinyl as she looked down from the build and her you. “Yeah, we’re a few hundred years ahead of Equestria.” Replied you as you headed for the front door, Vinyl reluctantly followed. “Hey you, oh who’s you friend?” Asked Desk Manager Belfont. “One who going to be staying for awhile.” “Ah, well it’s fall, show you should wear more than a pair of jeans, short shorts and a large tee-shirt.” Laughed Belfont. “Uh, yeah, I know, had to get to Mike’s really quickly, didn’t have time for a shirt.” Said you as you shrugged in response. “It’s a good thing Jaq isn’t here, she might take you to that back alley and give to good pounding!” Laughed Belfont as she typed a few words and commands into her data pad. “Yeah and not the good kind.” Replied you as you walked past her and you to the stairs. Once you were on the second floor Vinyl spoke up. “Who is ‘Jaq’?” “An OLD friends, she and I have been partners in crime longer than even Michael.” You replied as you pasted the second floor door and headed for the third floor. “Oh, so are you too? You know?” Asked Vinyl with a hit of sexual suggestion. “HA!, fat chance, no guy within a million miles could ever dream of touching her, she’s gay.” Replied you as you pasted the third floor door. “Yeah, most people are.” Replied Vinyl as she stopped at the third floor door and looked at it. “Nope, gay is slang for homosexual, guys who like guys, girls who like girls. You know one time Michael tried to change that, and you know what she said after?” Ask you as you stopped at the fourth floor door. “No.” Replied Vinyl in a tone that made it sound more like ‘Tell me asshole’. “ 'Man, this is why I like girls, they last longer'. Michael flipped shit! He went walking round the party on a rant about how he lasted thirty straight minutes!” You laughed as you recalled the memories. “THIRTY MINUTES?!? Most Stallions only last a few, but thirty minutes?!” Asked Vinyl as she sprinted up the remaining flight of stairs. “Uh, yeah. Trust me, after 8 years of partying, you learn to last.” Replied you as you opened to door and headed down the hall on the left of the door. “How long can you last?” Asked Vinyl. “If it’s casual, about twenty five minutes.” Replied you as you slowed your pace. “And if it’s not?” Asked Vinyl as she walked beside you. “An hour, but after that I’m fucking giving up.” Replied you as you walked past rooms numbered 203, 205, and 204. “An hour... Buck! Care to test that?” She licked her lips as she said it. “Nope, out of condoms, Kurt took ‘em all.” Replied you in a coy tone. “So?” Asked Vinyl. “On Terra, we get STDs.” Replied you with the slyest face you could muster. “Are you saying I’m a slut?!” Asked Vinyl as she stopped in disbelief, you kept on walking. “You just asked if you could fuck after only knowing me for about seven minutes.” Replied you as you rolled you shoulders. “Yeah, but now I know you can go for hours at a time.” Replied Vinyl as she checked her nails. “True, but after an hour, I finish inside and you yell and scream about getting pregnant. I’d rather keep my room in one piece.” Replied you as you glanced at her. “Fine, are there yet?” Asked Vinyl in the best little kid voice you have ever heard. "You shut your fucking mouth, but yes, we’re here.” You reach for the lock with key in hand. The door creaked open to reveal your room, only it looked as if some one flipped it upside down, then shocked it around, flipped it back over, throw it cross a foot ball field, and then put it back. “CONRAD!!!!!!!!” You yelled at the top of your lungs. DistressChapter IV Distress “The Royal court is now in session.” Boomed a guards pony. The ‘court’ consisted of Twilight, Celestia, Luna, two nobles, and Octavia. “Thank you, Princesses, I most ask you for you help, two days ago, a house in Ponyville was burned to the ground, it was owned by my good friend Vinyl.” Luna raised an eye brown and asked: “We know of this, why have you brought it to our attention?” “What you don’t know i what happened to Vinyl, she was in the house, the local Scientist, Doctor Hooves, tested the fire, it wasn’t conventional fire, nor Dragon’s flame, and through some research, we found out that, Vinyl may have been sent to another world, we don’t know how nor why, but I must ask for access to the Deep Archives, they might provide insight to our problem. This ‘portal’ could pose great threat to Equestria and it’s allies.” Finished Octavia. Celestia shifted her jaw, Luna remain stoic, the two nobles bickered among themselves. Twilight shifted in her throne. “Very well, Twilight you shall assist Miss Octavia in her search for answers, sister, we must talk.” Said Luna has she got up from her throne and left without a single word. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” Said Octavia as she bowed and left through the hall doors. Once she was gone Twilight look to her teacher. “I’m being sent to keep an eye on her, arn’t I?” Asked Twilight. “It seems so. Come, we mustn’t keep Lu-Lu waiting.” “Octavia, what did they say?” Asked Doctor Hooves as he approached Octavia. “It went, well. Princess Twilight is going to be helping us.” Replied Octavia with a long sigh at the end of her sentence. “You mean watching us.” Replied Ditzy as she dropped from the sky. “Ditzy, may be right, you never know when it comes to those sorts. Celestia pr-” Replied Doctor Hooves as he turned from Ditzy to face Octavia. “Luna gave the order, without hesitation, well, that’s a lie, she did think about it, but not for long.” Replied Octavia as she hoofed the ground. “Doctor, Octavia? Can we go now, I never liked this city. At least the outside of it.” Said Ditzy as she looked around. “Yes, you may, come on, let’s get to work.” Said Twilight as she poked her head out from behind the door and left just as quickly. A long pause was called for. It was only broken when Ditzy turned to the Doctor and asked: “How long was she standing there?!” Scrolls lined the walls, only a few book here and there, more than likely field journals from ponies now long forgotten. “How far does this go down?” Asked Ditzy as she hovered over a spiral staircase. “About twenty miles, stopping every two for a floor, each hold older and older knowledge as you go down.” Replied one of the many guards walking around the room. “Are you really necessary?” Asked Doctor Hooves as walked up to said guard. “Orders, given to out families over a thousand years ago, so yes. We are.” Replied the guard as he walked off to the other side of the room. “Kind of a downer?” Asked Octavia “Yes, but he means well. Come on, let’s head down, what we’re looking for is down near the bottom.” Said Twilight as she opened her wings and jumped down the shaft. “Don’t worry, I’ll carry you two.” Said Ditzy with a grin that would put Pinkie’s to shame. “But you’re only one Pegasi. I don’t think you can carry the both of us.” Replied Octavia as she look down the shaft then back to Ditzy. “I’m no Rainbow Dash but I can still carry a lot of stuff. And I’m not a Pegasi, I’m a Pegasus.” Replied Ditzy as she ‘landed’. “The difference being?” Asked Octavia as she walked beside Doctor Hooves. “Let’s just go.” Interrupted Doctor Hooves as he slammed his face against the ground. This promptly shut the both of them up, for now. The ride down was quick and the landing was quite abrupt. “Okay, Twilight Sparkle wh-” Asked Doctor Hooves but was cut off by Twilight. “Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Replied Twilight. “Right, anyway, what are we looking for?” Asked Octavia as she looked through the numberless shelves and scrolls. “Daedra. D-A-E-D-R-A, Daedra, look for that and look for the Daedric Prince: Mehrunes Dagon.” “Hm, okay. And who is that?” Asked Doctor Hooves as he walked down the long halls of the library. “An angry god who, in another world, nearly brought the end of the world.” Replied Twilight as she pulled five different books from the shelf and began flipping through the pages. “God?!” Asked Octavia as she bolted towards Twilight with eyes the size of diner plates. “Yes, well. Not really, but, still. They were all powerful.” Replied Twilight with a slight blush of embarrassment. “And now?” Asked Ditzy as she opened a large black book with a faded cover. “Not sure.” Replied Twilight as she flipped through one of the other books. “Why not?” Asked Doctor Hooves as he flipped through one of the many books on the table. “Lost contact over 100,000 years ago.” Replied Twilight as she put back the five books and pulled out six more. “...... Okay, what.” Asked Octavia as she looked up from her book with eye that seemed even wider. “Yeah, to think, we were once walked Equus over 100,000 years ago.” Replied Twilight as she dropped two of the six books. “I found something.” Said Ditzy as she poked her head out of her book. “Read it.” Commanded Twilight. “Mehrunes Dagon is the Daedric Prince of Destruction, Change, Revolution, Energy, and Ambition. He is associated with natural dangers like fire, earthquakes, and floods. He is an especially important deity in Morrowind, where he represents its near-inhospitable terrain. In most cultures, however, Dagon is merely a god of bloodshed and betrayal. Dagon's plane of Oblivion is known as "The Deadlands" and is featured in the Third Era. Of all the Daedric Princes, Mehrunes Dagon seems to have the most animosity towards Nirn's species. Given his nature Prince of Destruction, along with the fact that Daedra truly cannot be destroyed, the only entities he can practice destruction on are mortals. He assisted Jagar Tharn in his temporary usurpation of the Imperial throne. He invaded and seized control of the Battlespire in violation of the Daedric pact for preventing unchecked meddling in mortal affairs by divine beings the purpose of this being to cripple the capacity of the Imperial College of Battlemages, which presented a threat to Tharn's power as Emperor, Mehrunes Dagon was also responsible for the destruction of Mournhold at the end of the First Era and apparently also destroyed Ald Sotha, home of House Sotha and Sotha Sil's birthplace. In Oblivion, the plot centers around a plot by Dagon's followers to destroy the Septim bloodline and Tamriel in general. At the very end of the Third Era, the Avatar of Akatosh destroys Dagon's physical body, sending Dagon back into the Waters of Oblivion.” Read Ditzy. “What?” Asked Octavia as she walked over to the shelf that Ditzy was sitting on. “You found the book, now, pass it to me, I need to find the chapter one Oblivion Gates.” A Mess to be Reckoned WithChapter VI A Mess to be Reckoned With. Conrad had really out done himself this time, he has managed to ripped down all of the paintings on the walls, knock over all the lamps, and throw half the room to the other side. “Conrad! CON! RAD!” Even though you know yelling will only send him deeper into what ever hole he had dug in you paperwork. But, once again, the gods seem content with messing with you. Conrad cam running out of you room with you Crimson Xbox controller in razor, sharp, dagger like, puppy jaws. “Oh my gosh! A puppy! No one in Ponyville has one of these, well Applejack has one but still!” Said Vinyl as she rushed over to the small brown and white puppy. Whom, like the asshole who raised him, jumped on the opportunity to get a reward. “Yeah, real cute, Conrad you little devil, what have you done? Really? WHAT have you done? The last time you did something like this, you only throw the papers everywhere! Wait, I’m talking to a dog! AHG! I need to clean up, you keep him from eating the controller.” “Sure, hey buddy, give it to me. Now, come on.” The sight was disgusting, he obeyed! He looked at me, turned back to Vinyl, widened his eyes and dropped the controller! It that were me he would drop it, bark like a madman, pick it up, run out into the hallway, head down the stairs, and bolt for the park. But her? Sadly give it up and receive a petting! The cleaning lasted about half an hour, it would have been quicker but a certain puppy felt the need to pull down every pit of painted canvas I put back up. “Hey Brony, I’m hungry. And so is Conrad.” Asked Vinyl as she walked up to you with Conrad in hand. That dog looked down on you like some Regal to some random maid. “Hello Hungry, what did you do with, Vinyl?” This wasn’t taken lightly. “Come on, just make us some thing to eat.” She held Conrad up to her face and made a pouty face. You have got to be kidding me. “Agh! Fine, just stop that.” Replied you as you got up from you massive chair. You kitchen was one of the very few places that did not suffer from the Conrad/Everything war. After about five or so minutes of sifting through packages, you found what you were looking for, Ramen. Or at least the closest thing to Ramen. “What you cooking?” Asked Vinyl as she held her hands behind her back and bent over to smell the now simmering noodles. “Un piatto di famiglia, Ramen!” You replied with the bast Italian accent you could muster. “Uh, what?” Replied Vinylin confusion. “Ramen, an old dish, been around for about a hundred years. It’s good, you know how to use chop stick right?” “I barely know how to use these, ley along chop sticks or what ever.” She shock her hands in emphasis. “Right, well, I need to talk to you about the human diet, mainly, you know what? I’ll tell you over supper.” “Why not over Dinner?” Asked Vinyl as she leaned against the counter. “Because, I don’t think eating Ramen and talking about the human diet is very... Romantic.” “Ha!” “Plus, you may need a vomit bucket.” “Why?” “We’ll get to that.” The smell of the noodles filled you dorm, plus all the steam the pot was letting off. “Okay Vinyl, it’s done.” “Cool, let’s eat.” Replied Vinyl as she perked up from her near zombie like state at the table. The soup was blazing hot, you were surprised about how fast Vinyl slurped up the food. “Okay, it’s time to have that talk.” “I know father, when a Stallion and a Mare love each other very much, he puts his.” The look you we giving her was powerful enough to wilt a plant. “No, about the human diet, I trust Michael told you all about it?” “No, just told me a little about your history.” “What parts?” “The parts about your ancestors sailing across the sea and creating a colonies.” “This is going to be long night. Okay, first off, Humanity’s History is not one of peace and prosperity, more like one of plots, murder, creation, destruction, and war. Always war, the oldest and most enduring of human practices. I trust Equestria had wars in it’s past?” “Yeah, like. A thousand years ago.” “Okay, well in the past 30 years, Humanity has gotten it’s self into 15 different wars, five had happened at the same time. Numberless wars in the past as well. The best known one being World War 2, where, 60 million died, and in the last one, the War of Terra, over ten billion people died! Hell, I served in a unit for two years! Which is where I got the burns and the one bullet wound. When I was a kid, Canada and the United States of America went head to head, nukes we not an option, we had to fight via ground troops, air combat fighters, and battle ships. In the bloody end, we had each other’s capital, Canada threaten to nuke the US of the map if they didn’t stand down, and with over a billion people still living in the country, they accepted, and when I say Canada ‘held’ the capital, I mean thirty seven Canadian troops held the Pentagon and the US had over ten thousand troop in Ottawa and thirty ships in the Quebec Harbor. The US had the upper hand, but they didn’t know it, 90% of the satellite over North American were shot down, we were both blind and deaf. And after that Canada and the US fought side by side in the ‘Battle for Europe’. And most forget about the long trading history they had together before the 2014 ‘Blackouts’. Now for Human Diet! Humans can eat anything our teeth can break and chew, you want to eat dirt?, you can eat dirt, you want to eat plants?, go right a head, you want to eat meat?, dig in, you want to eat bugs?, fine by me, you want to eat chemicals?, by all means enjoy! Hell, what you just ate was a mix of meat, plants, and chemical. Now for our language. English, what I speaking right now, is a very barbaric language, like the letter ‘R’. Every old Langue spoken in Europe is a mix or blend of other language, the ones in Asian and Africa are the same, Australia as well, hell even the ones in North America all sound the same. Now for the best of all, government and social ethics. Every type of government we have tried and we have fucked up, any, hell for a while we tried to live without one, it fell apart really quickly, each of the groups of people formed their own, each was different. Social ethics, most of the Regal people left in the world we killed off in the last war, only the British crown remains, and that is threatening to crumble, they’re looking for the last of the Royal bloodline, but by the looks of it, he or she’s some where in Canada, seeing is how most of England sunk into the sea, and how Canada was the next best thing. An- Are you okay?” Deliciously DeviousChapter VIII Deliciously Devious Vinyl couldn't see what was going on, but she could hear. “What did you do?” “Nothing, just told her a little about Humanity and some of it’s many conflicts.” “You do know telling her about two or three would have been enough, right?” “Yeah, you know how I get when it comes to history and thing alike.” “Okay, that shit right there may fly in Canada, but not here!” “It’s old English.” “Yeah, old!” “Canada sti- Never mind, will she live Doctor?” “Fuck you, but yeah, she just needs some time to herself and some sleep.” “How are you, out of all people, a doctor?” “Before the war, I got my PhD.” “But in the Canada/America War you were a Combat Medic.” “Yeah? So?” “Nothing.” “Now, everyone, get out of my house, I still need to clean and fix up my A.I.” “You still have one?” “Yeah, it never malfunctioned nor died due to power loss.” “What ever, I need sleep, good bye.” “Bye.” “Yeah see you.” “Remember, keep her in that bed.” “Got it. Good night Doctor.” “I hate you when you call me that.” You tossed and turned in the night, your sleep was restless, but yet in a way, right. You awoke with your head under the pillow, at first it seemed like everything was back to normal, but then you wiped your face down with your open left hand. Conrad was on your back during this time. He was now in the next country. “Good morning, I was wondering when you would wake up.” Said Gil as he walked in with a tray in one hand and a glass of what looked like orange juice in the other. “Gah, morning. What happened last night?” “Me and a few of my friends rutted you like there was no tomorrow.” Replied Gil with the most egotistical smile you have ever seen. “Funny, what is that?” “Well, I thought it’s time you ate some barbarin food. Eggs, Bacon, Toast, and a glass of Orange juice.” Said Gil as he placed the tray on your lap and the glass on the tray. “What is this?” “I just told you.” “Yeah, but WHAT is it?” “Eggs are what they sound like, Bacon is made via cow meat, toast is just burnt bread with butter on it, and you know what orange juice is.” “B-b-but I can’t eat this!” “Your human if you like it or not, at least try to act like it.” “Fine.” You reluctantly ate the food that was given to you, and even though you hate to admit it, it was delicious. The next few hours were mainly trying to get you to accept that you are human for the time being, and chances are that Octavia has gone to Princess Celestia and they are looking for a way home for you. Gil said something about talking about the current world, what ever that means. Let's TalkChapter IX Let’s Talk “You know how I told you about how Canada and the United States were side by side? And how the rest of the world was only across the sea?” Vinyl nodded in response. “Yeah, you said that they were both founded by... Britain?” “Yes, that’s only half of the story, about seven years ago, near the end of the war, a project was infiltrated, and a weapon was detonated, the blast radius was huge, it engulfed much of the US and Canada, and bits of Mexico. It didn't destroy us by any means, it just. Moved us. We are NOT on Earth our birth world, maybe we are but we never found any land. Up until a few month ago that is, they found three different continents, by our readings, they’re very primitive, not stupid mind you, they still use swords, metal armor and hand held shields, while we use guns, power armor, and personal energy shields. The government coined them: Narris, Bate, and Yocok. A cult and a few people know have called them: Atmora, Aldmeris, and Tamriel. These were fictional places, from a series know as The Elder Scrolls, and from the looks of it, we are now in a place called Dragon Land or Akavir. We are trying to figure out what to do, I should be at the base working this out, but I wanted to head back to school, no point now, we have an Equestrian sleeping in my bed.” “And what do we plan on doing.” “Two things, we are heading over to Tamriel, the province know as Cyrodiil, there lay The Imperial City, there The White Gold Tower, there they may hold some knowledge on Oblivion Gates, from there we can send you home. And the second, we set up some sort of union, we vastly out number they, so they may accept without hesitation. If not, we may have a war on our hands.” Vinyl had accepted it with out question, maybe she was learning that this world should NEVER be questioned. “Why don’t you and I see the town?” Asked Vinyl through the Toilette door. “We’re in the Stratosphere.” “Where now?” Asked Vinyl as she exited the Toilette trying her hair. “45 Kilometers above the ground, we’re on a floating city, La Ville Del Sueño And Unity.” “How did you do this?” Asked Vinyl as she pulled over the shirt. “Magic.” You replied with sarcasm positively dripping from you words. “But you sai-” Said Vinyl as she pulled the towel off from under the shirt. “I’m joking, the city is about ten mile wide and about fifteen long, they have ten Super Turbines holding it in the sky, along with four more just in case. Four in each corner, two on Starboard and two more on Port, and the last two on the Aft. The Bow is relatively light, so it only needs the two. The Aft holds the main Chapels and two of the largest malls ever made.” Replied You as you joined her on the couch. “Mall?” Asked Vinyl as she perked up from her slouching position on the couch. “Massive build hold hundreds of different stores.” “Can we go?!” Asked Vinyl with the utmost enthusiasm. “Sure, let’s get you dressed first.” “Why?” “Didn’t Michael explain anything?!” The next ten minutes or so were spent explaining to Vinyl why humans wear clothing, and why most frown upon nudity. “That said, in the more Canadian parts of the city it’s not illegal. Just frowned upon.” “Why don’t we stick to that side?” Asked Vinyl as she looked into the glass of juice. “Because, that’s just the Port side, and in the Malls it is wiped away, they have their own rules, plus it’s only for tops not bottoms.” “Oh, what do I wear?” Asked Vinyl as she slammed a vodka orange juice mix. “I’ll think of something.” You spent the next few minutes thinking of different ways to cover up Vinyl, you were much too tall for her to wear you clothing. But, just like the realization had hit Michael, it hit you with just as much, if not more force. “Got it! Wait here.” You bolted for you room. When you returned you had four pieces of blue clothing. “What are these?” “Tee-shirt, boxers, swimming trunks, and a fisherman’s hat, oh and Jaq’s flip-flops.” “What do I do with these?” Asked Vinyl quizzically. I will fucking kill you! “You wear them!" “O-okay.” She reached for the collar or the shirt just before you stopped her. “No, no, no, no, no! Not here, there!” You pointed for your room. “Why?” “Were you even listening?” “Of course!” “Then get in the room!” Vinyl exited your room fully clad in blue, you still didn’t know why you picked blue to give her. But in any event you and she headed for the Mall of McKenn on the Port side of the City/ Ship. Time for FunChapter X Time for Fun The main entrance for the mall was massive, it dwarfed Vinyl. “Hey, don’t tell me I need to call an ambulance.” “I-i-i- I can’t.” Said Vinyl, at least she tried to say it. After about a minute of waving off people whom came to her rescue, you final snapped her out of her zombie like state by flashing her with the brightest camera you could find/borrow. “Hey, Vinyl, you alright?” “No.” Replied Vinyl as she reached for you hand which you extended prior to her comment. “Tell me, are you going to, you know, turn to stone like the whole Crete court?” “Actually it was the Argos Court, Crete is the Minotaur Myth.” Said a ominous voice from behind you. It made you face droop but as you turned you put on you best smile you had in your pocket. “Valaria!! So good to see you, what brings you here?” “Drop the attitude Major, here.” She handed you a black folder with red markings on it. “M-m- Major? What do you mean?” “You don’t check you email do you?” You shock your head in response. With a heavy sigh she replied: “You and much of Varo Squad have been promoted, as a ‘thank you’ from the Lord Admiral. Along with orders.” “And what are the team’s new ranks?” With another heavy sigh she replied. “For the Canadian side of the team: Warrant Officer John McKennery is now Master Warrant Officer John McKennery, both Master Corporal Yin Ok’resk and Corporal Yang Ok’resk have been promoted to Warrant Officer Ok’resk, I belive they took the news so well that they are both missing, I suggest looking in the gutters near on of the many pubs, and lastly, Private Recruit has passed his entrance exam, no doubt thanks to you and your team saving his ass in Anchorage. I’m sure the good Captain Seth will fill you in. Good day, and you too miss.” Said the silver eye woman as she turned and headed for a large four door truck. “What in the hay was that about?” “You remember that woman I told you about who got me shot?” “Yeah.” “That was her.” “How did she even get that to happen?” “She ordered half the Royal Guard to the Castle and Half to kill the guy who was tagged by the sniper, and that guy happened to be me, the target and me got into a knight fight and she kicked the ever living shit out of me and placed the tracker on me, thus I hand to out run and doge over seventy-five thousand high caliber rounds, to be fair, she didn’t’t know.” “Why couldn’t you order the men to stop.” Asked Vinyl as she looked at a human size statue of a soldier in power armor. “That’s the thing, I tried to pull rank, BUT the guards who were hunting me were the ARD Unit prototypes.” “What are they again?” Asked Vinyl as she look into one of the many sweet shops that lined the entrance. “I never told you about them.” “No time like the present!” Replied Vinyl as she walked ahead of you. “Too many people, but we’ll talk later, let’s shop!” What ensued was what you could only describe as the deflation of you wallet. It only took a few hours for your entire civilian account to drain until there was only a few hundred left in it, by then Vinyl had immersed a hord that dwarfed that of a dragon. You on the other hand merely grabbed a few random products, chewing gum, matches and a few boxes of lead weighs. “Why do you need thoughts?” Asked Vinyl as she looked at the odd collection of things in your hands. “I need the lead for a project I’m working on, matches because it’s always good to have them, and I have no clue why I have the gum.” “That’s gum?!” Asked Vinyl in befuddlement. “Yeah. What never seen gum in tube form?” “Nope, just in bags.” Replied Vinyl as she took a bite from her apple. “That shit must suck.” “Hey.” Replied Vinyl in an annoyed yet playful tone. “What’s with the Dragon Hord?” “What do you mean?” Asked Vinyl as she leaned back and took another bite from her apple. “You have sixteen bags of shit!” “Sixteen bags of awesome!” Replied Vinyl as she reached down for something to show off. “Fine, what ever, just don’t burn down my place while I’m away I think I’ll hire a vet or something to take care of you.” “Don’t you fucking!” Yelled a voice behind you. You turned to see a body come flying towards you at re-entry speed. The man impacted you, sending you up and over the table you were sitting at. “You want to try that again Kii?!” Yelled the voice once more. “I hav- Oh shit. Yang, I’m going to get for throwing you little sister at me. “No, I’d rather not, who did I hit?” Asked Yin as he looked around, spotting you then turning to stone. “Moosh Koosh, help me you idiots.” “Sorry Gil.” Said Yin as she helped you up. “Yeah, sorry Gil.” Copied Yang. “What the hell are you idiots doing?” “What do you mean?” Asked Yin as she brushed you off. “Never mind, why are you here?” To your surprise, no one had called security. Or hell even a Mall Cop. Then you noticed both Yin and Yang were in their dress blues, and the rank of Warrant Officer proudly plastered on their shoulders. After calming Vinyl, you explained to her that both Yin and Yang were your oldest friends, even older than you brothers. “So, you Gil’s new girl?” Asked Yin as she took another sip from her cup of water and tried to clean off her bloody scar. “Yin.” “No, it’s fine, but no. Just a girl who got dropped off in the middle of nowhere, rescued by a friend, and pawned off to this, charming man.” You slowly turned you head to face Vinyl, a grimace look don in you face. “Right, so what do you think?” Asked Yang as he gesture towards the new rank arrayed on his shoulder. “Yeah, just learned that a few hours ago, Valaria personal walked up and kicked me in the balls.” “Aww, I’m sure she’ll make them feel oh so mush better tonight.” Mocked Yin. “Muwin.” “Well, you are learning, but not the right stuff. Still, it’s progress, I guess.” Replied Yang. The rest of the day was spent both explaining to Yin and Yang about Vinyl, and to Vinyl about Yin, Yang, and your old life. In the end, you and Vinyl strolled home, a bit romantic, and a bit awkward, the bags of nothing really cock-block you. Across thirty-seven different dimensions. “I got it! Now all we need are two things to help us find her!” Squeaked Twilight as she bolted into Ditzy and Doctor Hooves’s room. About a half second later Ditzy was slammed into the far wall, more than likely by herself. Upon seeing this Twilight tilted her head in confusion. “Great, go tell Octavia. And get out.” That last part was so quite, Fluttershy seemed louder. “OH RIGHT!! I’ll go do that she might have the things we need!” And with that, and a flash of magic, Twilight left the room, and her mark on the floor. “Why did you do that?” Asked Doctor Hooves as he sat in the bed, the covers draping over him. “I figured it was easier to explain why I’m on the other side of the room than why my mouth is at the base of your shaft.” Replied Ditzy as she slowly walked back over to her lover. “Hmm, right. Well then, let’s finish up and w-” He was cut off by Ditzy, laughing like a school Filly. “Hahahahahahaha" The laughter lasted about thirty solid seconds. "Not happening, she’ll be back in, 3, 2, 1.” After about a half second delay, Twilight and Octavia appeared in the room. Doctor Hooves slammed his hooves into his crotch, trying to hide his tent in the covers. He immediately regretted his, wrenching in a sharp put quick pain. Octavia watched as Twilight placed the four different objects in the center of the empty stone room. “Twilight, what are these?” Asked Doctor Hooves, whom managed to recover from his blow to the family jewels. “The book called for four things: The first, the blood of a Daedra, we don’t have any Daedra so I got the next best thing, a piece of Nightmare Moon’s armor, granted the Daedra could be the good guys, but from the way they described Dagon, any way the next on it the blood of the Aedra, we’re using a piece from Celestia’s old armor, from before the whole Nightmare Moon thing, a Great Welkynd Stone, no clue what that is, I just loaded a gem with The Power of Friendship, it’s glowing a pale blue, as you can plainly see, and lastly, The Great Sigil Stone, Celestia provided us with an Ebony Crystal, from the time of King Sombre’s Rein of Terror.” Said Twilight as she picked up and show each of the object to Doctor Hooves, who only cocked an eye brow to them all, except the crystal. “And what else do we need to finish this?” Asked Ditzy as she hovered over Octavia, who wore a look of anticipation. “Nothing, just stand back. Guards? Are you ready?” Asked Twilight as she glanced back towards the near hundred guard awaiting her command. “Yes, you’ll go first, then we’ll follow.” And with that, Twilight turned back to the four objects, closed her eyes, and casted a spell. Her spell shit the Ebony Crystal, said crystal sent the spell towards the Welkynd stone, which in turn sent in to the Armor of Nightmare Moon, and did the same for the Armor of Celestia. Once said spell as done, four Demonic, curved, blood stained spikes erupted from the ground, and a Hellish light filled the gap between the four said pillars. Ditzy, Twilight, Doctor Hooves, and most importantly, Octavia all lined up and entered the portal together. And as they did this, the guards readied to move, but much like the fate of their luck, the spikes disappeared along with their charge. And his name was DagonChapter VII And his name was Dagon “All creatures have a beginning and all have an end. The Daedra and Aedra are no exception. Nor are the gods Anu and Sithis. We, Man and Mer owe our lives to ALL the divine creatures, Aedra and Daedra alike.” ~ The Hero of Kvatch, Savior of Bruma, 7th Champion of Cyrodiil, Second Divine Crusader, The Grand Champion, The Guildmaster of the Fighter's Guild, Archmage of the Mages Guild, The Gray Fox, Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, and Lord Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness. “What are the ‘Aedra’?” Asked Doctor Hooves as he took the book from Twilight. “No clue.” Replied Twilight as she took it back. “From the names, the polar opposites of the Deadra?” Asked Ditzy who was floating over Doctor Hooves. “In other words the good gods” Added Octavia. “Seems so. Enough of that, now Oblivion gates. It says here, Oblivion gates were used by Mehrunes Dagon in the Third Era, they were designed to transport creature and machines from one plane to another. Mainly Nirn and Oblivion, however, thanks to the barrier erected by Akatosh, they are no loner used, now they are used to strike terror into the minds of children.” Read Twilight. “That really helps.” “Wait, the Mysterium Xarxes is a book that helped a man named, Camoran, who created his own plane of reality, but the book is now lost forever, thanks to it being burned to a crisp but the last of the Septim line.” “That helps even more!” Yelled Octavia in frustration. “BUUUUT!, Martin Septim created a copy of the book just in case, the copy was hidden in the pages of THIS book.” Twilight’s head popped up from the pages with the biggest slime ever conjured. “I am very afraid.” Stated Ditzy as she looked at the now semi-snapped Princess. Hours passe as Twilight decoded the meaning of the pages. “Okay I got it, we don’t have the right stuff, but we can make do. Let’s head up, get some rest, and we’ll start first thing in the morning!” Beamed Twilight with a smile that threatened to split her face in two. “Really? Just like that?” Asked Ditzy as she looked at Twilight. “Just like that. Don’t worry! I got it all under control!” “Really Doctor? Do think she’s really got it right?” Asked Ditzy, trying to be as discreet as possible. “No, but we need to trust her. “ Replied Doctor Hooves as he leaned towards Ditzy. “Right, but still.” Said Ditzy as she looked at Octavia whom was thanking Twilight like there was no tomorrow. “No buts.” Replied Doctor Hooves as he began to walk towards the two mares. “Just plots, got it.” Replied Ditzy as she shot forward into the dark shift. “Wait. What?” Questioned Doctor Hooves as he stopped in shock.
My name's MichaelChapter I My name’s Michael Hey, name’s Michael, nice to meet ya, my friends names are: Kurt, who is a COMPLETE asshole but still is the only voice of reason at time. Nat, who is kind of milquetoast but means well in most situations, however he does snap and go on rants every now and then. Gil, who is a bit of a cynic, sadist, pessimist, and oddly an optimist. You will relive our adventures through our eyes. But please, control yourself, keep the jizz of the keyboards... You set out from you dorm hoping to catch that cute chick who runs the espresso down at the school coffee shop, it’s still a few minutes before dawn so your fairly certain she’ll need a hand, the perfect time to get a few words in, and even a few digits out. As you walk over the grassy path, you twirl your keys on your finger, today is you last day in this god forsaken school, one more day and you’re home free! Well okay that might be a little untrue, you still have three idiots to follow you around, but this moment of glee is quickly stomped out as you turn horizontal and see the ground coming closer at an alarming rate. Just great. You slam into the grass with breakneck speed. However you just bounce and land a few feet way from where you were standing. Yes!, I’m dead! However this is untrue as you still hear the sound of that god damned Robin! In all seriousness why is that hell spawn always flying around me?! The shell shock wears off as you get to you feet, okay your first directive is to find that perpetrator and make it pay. Let’s find this bitch and throw it into some random ca- WHAT?! As you stand only a few inches away from the very thing you tripped you, all you can think is “da fuq?”. In the place of a stone, brick, or even a stick. Lay an unconscious girl, she was thin, incredibly thin, and her head was covered by dark blue hair with a lighter blue streak, which made you believe she was female. Fearing the worst you bolted to her side in ten seconds flat. Wait..... Just roll with it! You placed you hand on her neck, you found a pulse, okay, one fire put out. You finally notice that she was COMPLETELY naked, well a pair of heavy black framed, purple lens glasses did lay near her head. You quickly look around, no one. You reach for your pocket, but before you do, you remember your fucking phone is at the dorm. Well shit, she’s my god damn problem then. You roll her over to see if she has any wounds or any other reasons why she’s passed out in the grass. You find none, Okay, who dropped the ball and didn’t invite me to the party? You grab her glasses and place them in your pocket and then proceed to try and pick her up. After almost a minute of awkward tries, you suck up your embarrassment and put you hand under her neck and you other behind the knee, Yes, fuck you, I don’t know what that part of the body is called. Once she is at gut level you notice she is very light, and short too, only about 5'5'' by you estimates. You set off for your dorm and your phone, and god knows what else.
Mine's VinylChapter II Mines Vinyl Well this is turning into a major shit storm, but let’s continue where we last left off..... You awkwardly reach into you pocket for your keys, god damned Gil and his fucking superstitions. You clumsily unlock you door and make a beeline for you bed. You place her in your bed and throw your cover on her, Okay once she gets up, talk to her, if she doen’t get up call the cops, okay cool. Remain cool. Now that a small part of you crisis is over you decided that you earned a little 4Chan time, after all, you might just have save a life! You jerry rigged a makeshift tripod and place one of Kurt’s many web-cams on it, Okay why the hell does this SOB have over forty of these fucking things? Then hooked it up to one of your monitors, and then you proceed to waste time for around six hours, completely forgetting about the naked girls in your bed. You only snap out of your zombie like trace when you hear an ear splitting screech. Man this bitch can fucking yell! This scream is the destroyer of worlds, it sent you four feet into the air and to the left about five feet, well that could just have been your reflexes. You land on the hard wood floor with a manly thud, at least some of your dignity remains. You hop to you feet and faced the girl in the bed, she’s huddled up in the corner, fists deathly white from how hard she’s holding them closed. “S-stay away!” Yelled the girl as you eased up on you stance. Got damn it, if she keeps yelling, half the campus will think I’m a fucking rapist! You put your hands out in the most none threatening pose you could think of. “Calm down, just cal-” You were cut off by her.. “I-i-it talks!” Yelled the blue haired girl as she tried to get away further, with no success. Shit, I’m dealing with some kind of hippy or some shit..... “Calm down!, Just chill and let me explain!” You yelled, this shut her up, it also gave you a chance to look at her face awake. She was very pale, almost powder white, however you could see a faint glow of blood under her skin. Well she is human, well for the most part. Her fists were still bright white, Fuck if she doesn’t stop she cut of her blood supple. Her eyes were a deathly red, they were also massive, two times the size of a normal person’s, however it didn’t look freakish, just gave her an anime feel. You could make out a small tattoo on her right side, lower than her rib cage, an eighth note. The sudden realization came down on you like a million tons of brick and all manner of heavy, foot by half foot sized objects. Vinyl Scratch. “Please, what ever you are don’t hurt me, please.” Said Vinyl as she began to cry. SHIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!! “Oh, no no no no no, I’m sorry. Please.” You put on you be fatherly tone you could master, too bad you never paid attention when Gil talked to his brothers. The tears slowly stopped, but only ever so slightly. Your heart stopped it hundreds mile dash. “Okay, fine.” Said Vinyl in a trembling tone, it really hurt to see her like this. Time to play story teller. You spent the next few minutes telling her about you and the rest of humanity to the best of your ability, leaving out the part of us being filthy beasts. “Okay, you’re a human, and you’re part of humanity? Well, not the oddest thing in Equestria." Said Vinyl as she looked around the room. "But where am I?” Asked Vinyl, Okay just dance around the subject and everything with be alright. “Can I please have a drink of water?” Asked Vinyl as she put her fist to her throat. Thank god she changed it, I was about to ask if she heard any good rumors. You happily get up and leave for the water. When you return you hold out the water, expecting her the reach out for it, instead she looked at the glass, then focused hards, soon beads of sweat formed on her forehead, alas she gave up. “W-why wont my magic work?” Questioned Vinyl as she tried to recover from the ordeal. You stood there with your dick in the wind. Once again the realization hit you like a train. “Uh, m-magic? What do you mean?” You asked, it must have seemed like a mockery. “Yes, my magic! ALL Unicorns can use magic!” Yelled Vinyl as she slammed her, still balled fists into your bed. Okay, calm, good, what? Oh fuck you body, why must you sweat?! “Uh, check your forehead.” You said this in the most nonchalant way possible. She did so. Once again, with her hands in fucking FISTS! She recoiled with with the reflex of a snake. “W-w-what did you do to me?!?!” Screamed Vinyl. Fuck. “Nothing! I found you like this! Now calm the fuck down!” You yelled, this rendered her motionless, and you speechless. “I’m so, so, so, so sorry! Please, you’re human, now please Vinyl. Calm down.” Said you after a long pause. This allowed her to move again, well if only to send her into a fit. She flailed and kicked. She nearly kicked the light from the ceiling. Once all her energy was drained, she laid there, motionless, but still breathing. “How did you know my name?” You decide to answer that with a question. "Easy, I heard about you, about where are you from?" The Clock ticked by, seconds turned into minutes. God damn, she can really take her fucking sweet ass time! You leaned up from you chair and looked at her eyes, they were open, she was thinking “I look, like you?” She asked, slight disgust filled her voice. Back the fuck up, fuck you! I’m no English Boy Band member, but I’m did have a few girlfriends in the past. “I’ll try and over look that as an insult, but yes, you do look like me, with clear differences. Mainly between the leg. Girls have a lighter build then most men and have large breasts to feed children." "I learned this in grade school, when I was a Filly." Replied Vinyl. Okay, I'm telling a fucking story, well okay it's not a story per say, but still! "Women are normally shorter and don’t have a, uh, um, you know. A cock.” WOW! Could you have been any more blunt! “A male chicken? Why do you have one of those?’ Oh thank god, you can save this. “Uh, I mean a penis.” ....Fuck you and your idiotic thinking......
Now who is This?Chapter III Now Who Is This? A look of befuddlement was plastered across Vinyl’s face “I’m not a Filly! I know how this shit works!” Yelled Vinyl as she tried to stand upright, only to be caught by you as she started to fall forward. “Yeah, sure. But humans are much different from Ponies, for on-" As if cued up, a knock on the dorm door shattered the awkward silence. By the heavenly beings! A Saviour! You dashed to the door with all the haste you were permitted. The door creaked open to reveal a VERY crossed man. Oh shit, why the hell is he h- By god, I so fucking dead. The man in the door way wasn’t much taller than you, in fact he was a bit shorter, standing in around 5‘11. “Michael, you sake of shit, you missed the meeting, Miss Sheyll was pissed the hell off, at the very least you could have called.” Despite you intervention. Well okay I didn’t do jack shit. The man entered with out a second thought. The man rounded the corner to find Vinyl, still completely naked, however her legs were crossed in a way that block view of her womanhood. Oh thank god, we can't let that happened, we might get a laugh. “Mike, what in the hell is this? Who is this?!” Questioned the man. Okay, his name’s Kurt, happy? “Kurt, calm down, I’ll explain.” This didn’t seem to do much to Kurt’s current fuming state. “I fucking hope so.” Barked Kurt “Why do you call it a cock?” Nice timing bitch. Gil and Nat stood looking at Vinyl, while Kurt paced around the room, you were sitting beside Vinyl. The only sounds in the room were Kurt’s foot steps and the ticking of the clock. “Michael, why am I always underestimating you? To think, you, out of all the people on campus, have a girl, completely naked, sitting in your bed, and you didn’t invite us.” Okay, scratch that, Gil is the asshole. “I swear, this isn’t what it looks like!” You yelled in your defence. “Oh yeah? Let me guess, you went for an early morning stroll, and just happened to find a chick, whom lay passed out, and you just happened to have forgotten your phone, and no one just happened to be around, so you took it upon your self to rescue her?” See?! Asshol- wait... He planed this! I know it! “I’m not even going to add to that.” You know what? I think ALL of my friends are assholes, even this milquetoast motherfucker is messing with me! “Okay Michael, I’ll give you the befit of a doubt, explain. But please, no sound effects.” ......... You spent the rest of the morning retelling the story to you three comrades. Only Kurt seemed to make a wise ass comment here and there. At the end I told them about Vinyl, this time Kurt and Gil were on the ground laugher like asshole, Nat just quietly snickered. “Fucking Christ, Michael, you really should think about becoming a Bard, god damn.” Said Kurt as he wiped away a tear. Fucking asshole, he's always like this! Gil and Nat chattered to each other for a few moments, once they were done, Gil spoke. “Uh, okay. Vinyl is it. It’s clear you need a place, we’ll talk it through later, until then, care to tell us what happened before you awoke in this man’s filthy bed?” Okay, I may sleep in this bed, but it is still very clean. Vinyl slowly nodded, she opened her mouth to speak, but she quickly closed it. “Vinyl, please?” Asked Gil. “W-well, I woke up like any other day, trashed, that night I spent the whole night blasting wubs, Octia was already up, getting ready for her train ride into Canterlot, she had a huge project coming up, she told me that I need to be there, I told her 'sure! I can make room for you next week’. The rest of the day was mostly cleaning. The club was trashed, cans and bottles were everywhere, and some places even have vomit, I went to this little sweet shop for lunch, then I went home and locked my door, the room was dark, then I opened my eyes and I saw Michael in the corner of my eye, you know the rest.” Gil let this settle, Kurt stopped walking then moved to the window. Nat just then spoke up. “Uh, um.. How do I put this. I think you great and all, but. You can’t stay here, nor with me. I like my privacy, and I think. I think Michael likes his too.” “What?! Kurt and I don’t?!” Barked Gil. Damn, he’s still hard on Nat. “Uh, no, that's not what I meant, but I just thought that you and Kurt are better suited for this kind of thing.” He’s right I let my friend's Gold Fish die, okay. “Hell no! She can’t stay with me! Lex with fucking kill me! Or take my dick, and I like my dick!” Yelled Kurt as he took a few step forward. Gil’s eye grew wide. “Wait! What? But. I. You. Fuck you.” With that Gil jupmed out of his chair and walked over to the window. “Uh, guys. I’m still here, I think I get some say in this. Don’t you?” Asked Vinyl “Yes, but given the people you have to chose from it’s clear, Kurt is in a very tight relationship, Nat is a very secretive kind of dude, you know, Witchcraft? Me? I like the idea of being free, plus, what I do on the Internet is best kept to myself, which leave the retarded Canadian." Gil slowly turned his head, which had a look of grim apparel. Oh shit!, he mad!
A long walk down a Short PierChapter IV A long walk down a Short Pier “No! Fuck you! You found her! You keep her!” Yelled Gil as he sprinted for the door, Kurt quickly blocking it to prevent him from escaping. “Yes I did, but now, I give her to you!” You push Vinyl forward as you said that. “I refuse!” Replied Gil as he placed his hands on her chest and pushed her back. This sent a natureal impulse to her brain. “Hands to yourself Brony!” Yelled Vinyl as she quickly grabbed his hand and twisted it. Gil ignored this and stepped back into Kurt. “This. Is. None negotiable!” Yelled Kurt as he stepped away from the door way. A look of frustration was slowly working it’s way onto Nat’s face. “Michael you fuck, you found her, that means YOU take care of her!” “Dude! The last creature I tried to take care of fucking starved to death while I played CoC!” “So? That was Hamster! This is a girl, she’ll bitch at you when you need to do something!” “SHUT THE FUCK UP!! GIL, TAKE HER!!” Yelled Nat at the top of his lungs. Fuck, Nat yelling? Ah!, he’s listening! Yes, now I can go jack off. “Fine, you fucking win, *sigh* fine.” With that Gil slowly walked out, stopped at the door, motioned for Vinyl to follow. And she did, she was practically shaking because of Nat. Once they had left the dorm, Kurt turned to Nat and yourself. “Didn’t she forget clothing?” Asked Nat. “Yes, I’m sure Gil will figure it out. Also, what’s her name?” Asked Kurt. You walked down to the parking lot, but it wasn’t until you got to your car you realized that this girl, who you are now completely reasonable for, is completely naked! You quickly look around, no one. By god, the luck of my ancestral Irish blood is running think! “Uh, what the hay is this?!” Questioned the girl as she stood in awe. Without a moment's hesitation you pulled off your shirt, exposing your chest and torso, it was covered in burn marks, scars, and even a bullet wound, and you throw it to her. “Put it on.” You commanded. Better a minor than a major charge for public nudity. She gave you a look of confusion, but obeyed. “Okay, get in, we need to get you to a safe place.” “Wait! What?! Is someone after me?! Is that why you and Michael were arguing about me?!” She questioned with the panic of a psychopath. This is going to a long fuckin- Wait, how long do I need to stay with her?! Oh please god let her leave before Jaq get here!! “No, just put it on and get in.” Once again you raised your voice. Vinyl nodded and opened the door. Very clumsily I might add. The drive to the Canadian side of the campus wasn’t very long, only about five minutes. However along they way you and Vinyl had a talk. “Where are we going?” “Canadian Campus.” “Why?” “I live there.” “Oh, what are we going to do there?” “Sleep, get you some clothes, and eat.” “Eat? I could go for a nice big Hay Burger.” “....... Uh, what?” “A Hay Burger, you know, buns with tomato, onion, pickles, hay, chess, and another bun?” “Humans can’t eat hay.” “Wait, what DO you eat?” Okay, she’s from Equestria, don’t lie to her, but don’t tell the whole truth. “We eat fruit and vegetables, apples, oranges, grapes, potatoes, rice, wheat, st- spice.” “Oh, is that all we eat?” Using 'we' already. “Nope.” “What else it there?” “Tons. Most of our planet is water, but the parts that arn’t are mostly covered in trees, and those trees old a lot of food, but in the Old World, most tree have been cut down.” “Yeah, Michael told me.” “So, you just opened your eyes, and you were here. No flash of light, no skies changing blood red, no heavenly voice, nothing?” “Like I said, nothing, I wonder how long it’s been.” “From what I read, a day in Equestria is a full year on Terra. So you have about, 14 years to waste. Or look for a way home, but you never know, you might like it here.” “Not a chance in Tartarus.” “Yeah, I heard a few people say that, anyway, we’re here.” You and Vinyl pull up to a seven story red and white brick build, with the Canadian Nation School Sigil on it. “Let’s go.” Said you as you opened to door and placed your right foot on the concrete. “How?” Asked Vinyl as she looked about the door. “Pull the lever.” Replied you as you stepped out. “Oh, sorry.” Said Vinyl in a sheepish tone. Vinyl stepped out of the car, a look of awe crept it’s way onto her face. “How?!” Asked Vinyl as she cocked her head back to look at the roof. “What? The building?” Asked you in response. “Yes, how it you make it so tall?” Asked Vinyl as she took a few steps back to get a better view. “It’s only seven stories, most buildings built in 2025 were ten stories at the very least.” Replied you as you looked up at the building then at her. “In Ponyvill, the tallest build is Town Hall, and it’s only four stories.” Said Vinyl as she looked down from the build and her you. “Yeah, we’re a few hundred years ahead of Equestria.” Replied you as you headed for the front door, Vinyl reluctantly followed. “Hey you, oh who’s you friend?” Asked Desk Manager Belfont. “One who going to be staying for awhile.” “Ah, well it’s fall, show you should wear more than a pair of jeans, short shorts and a large tee-shirt.” Laughed Belfont. “Uh, yeah, I know, had to get to Mike’s really quickly, didn’t have time for a shirt.” Said you as you shrugged in response. “It’s a good thing Jaq isn’t here, she might take you to that back alley and give to good pounding!” Laughed Belfont as she typed a few words and commands into her data pad. “Yeah and not the good kind.” Replied you as you walked past her and you to the stairs. Once you were on the second floor Vinyl spoke up. “Who is ‘Jaq’?” “An OLD friends, she and I have been partners in crime longer than even Michael.” You replied as you pasted the second floor door and headed for the third floor. “Oh, so are you too? You know?” Asked Vinyl with a hit of sexual suggestion. “HA!, fat chance, no guy within a million miles could ever dream of touching her, she’s gay.” Replied you as you pasted the third floor door. “Yeah, most people are.” Replied Vinyl as she stopped at the third floor door and looked at it. “Nope, gay is slang for homosexual, guys who like guys, girls who like girls. You know one time Michael tried to change that, and you know what she said after?” Ask you as you stopped at the fourth floor door. “No.” Replied Vinyl in a tone that made it sound more like ‘Tell me asshole’. “ 'Man, this is why I like girls, they last longer'. Michael flipped shit! He went walking round the party on a rant about how he lasted thirty straight minutes!” You laughed as you recalled the memories. “THIRTY MINUTES?!? Most Stallions only last a few, but thirty minutes?!” Asked Vinyl as she sprinted up the remaining flight of stairs. “Uh, yeah. Trust me, after 8 years of partying, you learn to last.” Replied you as you opened to door and headed down the hall on the left of the door. “How long can you last?” Asked Vinyl. “If it’s casual, about twenty five minutes.” Replied you as you slowed your pace. “And if it’s not?” Asked Vinyl as she walked beside you. “An hour, but after that I’m fucking giving up.” Replied you as you walked past rooms numbered 203, 205, and 204. “An hour... Buck! Care to test that?” She licked her lips as she said it. “Nope, out of condoms, Kurt took ‘em all.” Replied you in a coy tone. “So?” Asked Vinyl. “On Terra, we get STDs.” Replied you with the slyest face you could muster. “Are you saying I’m a slut?!” Asked Vinyl as she stopped in disbelief, you kept on walking. “You just asked if you could fuck after only knowing me for about seven minutes.” Replied you as you rolled you shoulders. “Yeah, but now I know you can go for hours at a time.” Replied Vinyl as she checked her nails. “True, but after an hour, I finish inside and you yell and scream about getting pregnant. I’d rather keep my room in one piece.” Replied you as you glanced at her. “Fine, are there yet?” Asked Vinyl in the best little kid voice you have ever heard. "You shut your fucking mouth, but yes, we’re here.” You reach for the lock with key in hand. The door creaked open to reveal your room, only it looked as if some one flipped it upside down, then shocked it around, flipped it back over, throw it cross a foot ball field, and then put it back. “CONRAD!!!!!!!!” You yelled at the top of your lungs.
DistressChapter IV Distress “The Royal court is now in session.” Boomed a guards pony. The ‘court’ consisted of Twilight, Celestia, Luna, two nobles, and Octavia. “Thank you, Princesses, I most ask you for you help, two days ago, a house in Ponyville was burned to the ground, it was owned by my good friend Vinyl.” Luna raised an eye brown and asked: “We know of this, why have you brought it to our attention?” “What you don’t know i what happened to Vinyl, she was in the house, the local Scientist, Doctor Hooves, tested the fire, it wasn’t conventional fire, nor Dragon’s flame, and through some research, we found out that, Vinyl may have been sent to another world, we don’t know how nor why, but I must ask for access to the Deep Archives, they might provide insight to our problem. This ‘portal’ could pose great threat to Equestria and it’s allies.” Finished Octavia. Celestia shifted her jaw, Luna remain stoic, the two nobles bickered among themselves. Twilight shifted in her throne. “Very well, Twilight you shall assist Miss Octavia in her search for answers, sister, we must talk.” Said Luna has she got up from her throne and left without a single word. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” Said Octavia as she bowed and left through the hall doors. Once she was gone Twilight look to her teacher. “I’m being sent to keep an eye on her, arn’t I?” Asked Twilight. “It seems so. Come, we mustn’t keep Lu-Lu waiting.” “Octavia, what did they say?” Asked Doctor Hooves as he approached Octavia. “It went, well. Princess Twilight is going to be helping us.” Replied Octavia with a long sigh at the end of her sentence. “You mean watching us.” Replied Ditzy as she dropped from the sky. “Ditzy, may be right, you never know when it comes to those sorts. Celestia pr-” Replied Doctor Hooves as he turned from Ditzy to face Octavia. “Luna gave the order, without hesitation, well, that’s a lie, she did think about it, but not for long.” Replied Octavia as she hoofed the ground. “Doctor, Octavia? Can we go now, I never liked this city. At least the outside of it.” Said Ditzy as she looked around. “Yes, you may, come on, let’s get to work.” Said Twilight as she poked her head out from behind the door and left just as quickly. A long pause was called for. It was only broken when Ditzy turned to the Doctor and asked: “How long was she standing there?!” Scrolls lined the walls, only a few book here and there, more than likely field journals from ponies now long forgotten. “How far does this go down?” Asked Ditzy as she hovered over a spiral staircase. “About twenty miles, stopping every two for a floor, each hold older and older knowledge as you go down.” Replied one of the many guards walking around the room. “Are you really necessary?” Asked Doctor Hooves as walked up to said guard. “Orders, given to out families over a thousand years ago, so yes. We are.” Replied the guard as he walked off to the other side of the room. “Kind of a downer?” Asked Octavia “Yes, but he means well. Come on, let’s head down, what we’re looking for is down near the bottom.” Said Twilight as she opened her wings and jumped down the shaft. “Don’t worry, I’ll carry you two.” Said Ditzy with a grin that would put Pinkie’s to shame. “But you’re only one Pegasi. I don’t think you can carry the both of us.” Replied Octavia as she look down the shaft then back to Ditzy. “I’m no Rainbow Dash but I can still carry a lot of stuff. And I’m not a Pegasi, I’m a Pegasus.” Replied Ditzy as she ‘landed’. “The difference being?” Asked Octavia as she walked beside Doctor Hooves. “Let’s just go.” Interrupted Doctor Hooves as he slammed his face against the ground. This promptly shut the both of them up, for now. The ride down was quick and the landing was quite abrupt. “Okay, Twilight Sparkle wh-” Asked Doctor Hooves but was cut off by Twilight. “Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Replied Twilight. “Right, anyway, what are we looking for?” Asked Octavia as she looked through the numberless shelves and scrolls. “Daedra. D-A-E-D-R-A, Daedra, look for that and look for the Daedric Prince: Mehrunes Dagon.” “Hm, okay. And who is that?” Asked Doctor Hooves as he walked down the long halls of the library. “An angry god who, in another world, nearly brought the end of the world.” Replied Twilight as she pulled five different books from the shelf and began flipping through the pages. “God?!” Asked Octavia as she bolted towards Twilight with eyes the size of diner plates. “Yes, well. Not really, but, still. They were all powerful.” Replied Twilight with a slight blush of embarrassment. “And now?” Asked Ditzy as she opened a large black book with a faded cover. “Not sure.” Replied Twilight as she flipped through one of the other books. “Why not?” Asked Doctor Hooves as he flipped through one of the many books on the table. “Lost contact over 100,000 years ago.” Replied Twilight as she put back the five books and pulled out six more. “...... Okay, what.” Asked Octavia as she looked up from her book with eye that seemed even wider. “Yeah, to think, we were once walked Equus over 100,000 years ago.” Replied Twilight as she dropped two of the six books. “I found something.” Said Ditzy as she poked her head out of her book. “Read it.” Commanded Twilight. “Mehrunes Dagon is the Daedric Prince of Destruction, Change, Revolution, Energy, and Ambition. He is associated with natural dangers like fire, earthquakes, and floods. He is an especially important deity in Morrowind, where he represents its near-inhospitable terrain. In most cultures, however, Dagon is merely a god of bloodshed and betrayal. Dagon's plane of Oblivion is known as "The Deadlands" and is featured in the Third Era. Of all the Daedric Princes, Mehrunes Dagon seems to have the most animosity towards Nirn's species. Given his nature Prince of Destruction, along with the fact that Daedra truly cannot be destroyed, the only entities he can practice destruction on are mortals. He assisted Jagar Tharn in his temporary usurpation of the Imperial throne. He invaded and seized control of the Battlespire in violation of the Daedric pact for preventing unchecked meddling in mortal affairs by divine beings the purpose of this being to cripple the capacity of the Imperial College of Battlemages, which presented a threat to Tharn's power as Emperor, Mehrunes Dagon was also responsible for the destruction of Mournhold at the end of the First Era and apparently also destroyed Ald Sotha, home of House Sotha and Sotha Sil's birthplace. In Oblivion, the plot centers around a plot by Dagon's followers to destroy the Septim bloodline and Tamriel in general. At the very end of the Third Era, the Avatar of Akatosh destroys Dagon's physical body, sending Dagon back into the Waters of Oblivion.” Read Ditzy. “What?” Asked Octavia as she walked over to the shelf that Ditzy was sitting on. “You found the book, now, pass it to me, I need to find the chapter one Oblivion Gates.”
A Mess to be Reckoned WithChapter VI A Mess to be Reckoned With. Conrad had really out done himself this time, he has managed to ripped down all of the paintings on the walls, knock over all the lamps, and throw half the room to the other side. “Conrad! CON! RAD!” Even though you know yelling will only send him deeper into what ever hole he had dug in you paperwork. But, once again, the gods seem content with messing with you. Conrad cam running out of you room with you Crimson Xbox controller in razor, sharp, dagger like, puppy jaws. “Oh my gosh! A puppy! No one in Ponyville has one of these, well Applejack has one but still!” Said Vinyl as she rushed over to the small brown and white puppy. Whom, like the asshole who raised him, jumped on the opportunity to get a reward. “Yeah, real cute, Conrad you little devil, what have you done? Really? WHAT have you done? The last time you did something like this, you only throw the papers everywhere! Wait, I’m talking to a dog! AHG! I need to clean up, you keep him from eating the controller.” “Sure, hey buddy, give it to me. Now, come on.” The sight was disgusting, he obeyed! He looked at me, turned back to Vinyl, widened his eyes and dropped the controller! It that were me he would drop it, bark like a madman, pick it up, run out into the hallway, head down the stairs, and bolt for the park. But her? Sadly give it up and receive a petting! The cleaning lasted about half an hour, it would have been quicker but a certain puppy felt the need to pull down every pit of painted canvas I put back up. “Hey Brony, I’m hungry. And so is Conrad.” Asked Vinyl as she walked up to you with Conrad in hand. That dog looked down on you like some Regal to some random maid. “Hello Hungry, what did you do with, Vinyl?” This wasn’t taken lightly. “Come on, just make us some thing to eat.” She held Conrad up to her face and made a pouty face. You have got to be kidding me. “Agh! Fine, just stop that.” Replied you as you got up from you massive chair. You kitchen was one of the very few places that did not suffer from the Conrad/Everything war. After about five or so minutes of sifting through packages, you found what you were looking for, Ramen. Or at least the closest thing to Ramen. “What you cooking?” Asked Vinyl as she held her hands behind her back and bent over to smell the now simmering noodles. “Un piatto di famiglia, Ramen!” You replied with the bast Italian accent you could muster. “Uh, what?” Replied Vinylin confusion. “Ramen, an old dish, been around for about a hundred years. It’s good, you know how to use chop stick right?” “I barely know how to use these, ley along chop sticks or what ever.” She shock her hands in emphasis. “Right, well, I need to talk to you about the human diet, mainly, you know what? I’ll tell you over supper.” “Why not over Dinner?” Asked Vinyl as she leaned against the counter. “Because, I don’t think eating Ramen and talking about the human diet is very... Romantic.” “Ha!” “Plus, you may need a vomit bucket.” “Why?” “We’ll get to that.” The smell of the noodles filled you dorm, plus all the steam the pot was letting off. “Okay Vinyl, it’s done.” “Cool, let’s eat.” Replied Vinyl as she perked up from her near zombie like state at the table. The soup was blazing hot, you were surprised about how fast Vinyl slurped up the food. “Okay, it’s time to have that talk.” “I know father, when a Stallion and a Mare love each other very much, he puts his.” The look you we giving her was powerful enough to wilt a plant. “No, about the human diet, I trust Michael told you all about it?” “No, just told me a little about your history.” “What parts?” “The parts about your ancestors sailing across the sea and creating a colonies.” “This is going to be long night. Okay, first off, Humanity’s History is not one of peace and prosperity, more like one of plots, murder, creation, destruction, and war. Always war, the oldest and most enduring of human practices. I trust Equestria had wars in it’s past?” “Yeah, like. A thousand years ago.” “Okay, well in the past 30 years, Humanity has gotten it’s self into 15 different wars, five had happened at the same time. Numberless wars in the past as well. The best known one being World War 2, where, 60 million died, and in the last one, the War of Terra, over ten billion people died! Hell, I served in a unit for two years! Which is where I got the burns and the one bullet wound. When I was a kid, Canada and the United States of America went head to head, nukes we not an option, we had to fight via ground troops, air combat fighters, and battle ships. In the bloody end, we had each other’s capital, Canada threaten to nuke the US of the map if they didn’t stand down, and with over a billion people still living in the country, they accepted, and when I say Canada ‘held’ the capital, I mean thirty seven Canadian troops held the Pentagon and the US had over ten thousand troop in Ottawa and thirty ships in the Quebec Harbor. The US had the upper hand, but they didn’t know it, 90% of the satellite over North American were shot down, we were both blind and deaf. And after that Canada and the US fought side by side in the ‘Battle for Europe’. And most forget about the long trading history they had together before the 2014 ‘Blackouts’. Now for Human Diet! Humans can eat anything our teeth can break and chew, you want to eat dirt?, you can eat dirt, you want to eat plants?, go right a head, you want to eat meat?, dig in, you want to eat bugs?, fine by me, you want to eat chemicals?, by all means enjoy! Hell, what you just ate was a mix of meat, plants, and chemical. Now for our language. English, what I speaking right now, is a very barbaric language, like the letter ‘R’. Every old Langue spoken in Europe is a mix or blend of other language, the ones in Asian and Africa are the same, Australia as well, hell even the ones in North America all sound the same. Now for the best of all, government and social ethics. Every type of government we have tried and we have fucked up, any, hell for a while we tried to live without one, it fell apart really quickly, each of the groups of people formed their own, each was different. Social ethics, most of the Regal people left in the world we killed off in the last war, only the British crown remains, and that is threatening to crumble, they’re looking for the last of the Royal bloodline, but by the looks of it, he or she’s some where in Canada, seeing is how most of England sunk into the sea, and how Canada was the next best thing. An- Are you okay?”
Deliciously DeviousChapter VIII Deliciously Devious Vinyl couldn't see what was going on, but she could hear. “What did you do?” “Nothing, just told her a little about Humanity and some of it’s many conflicts.” “You do know telling her about two or three would have been enough, right?” “Yeah, you know how I get when it comes to history and thing alike.” “Okay, that shit right there may fly in Canada, but not here!” “It’s old English.” “Yeah, old!” “Canada sti- Never mind, will she live Doctor?” “Fuck you, but yeah, she just needs some time to herself and some sleep.” “How are you, out of all people, a doctor?” “Before the war, I got my PhD.” “But in the Canada/America War you were a Combat Medic.” “Yeah? So?” “Nothing.” “Now, everyone, get out of my house, I still need to clean and fix up my A.I.” “You still have one?” “Yeah, it never malfunctioned nor died due to power loss.” “What ever, I need sleep, good bye.” “Bye.” “Yeah see you.” “Remember, keep her in that bed.” “Got it. Good night Doctor.” “I hate you when you call me that.” You tossed and turned in the night, your sleep was restless, but yet in a way, right. You awoke with your head under the pillow, at first it seemed like everything was back to normal, but then you wiped your face down with your open left hand. Conrad was on your back during this time. He was now in the next country. “Good morning, I was wondering when you would wake up.” Said Gil as he walked in with a tray in one hand and a glass of what looked like orange juice in the other. “Gah, morning. What happened last night?” “Me and a few of my friends rutted you like there was no tomorrow.” Replied Gil with the most egotistical smile you have ever seen. “Funny, what is that?” “Well, I thought it’s time you ate some barbarin food. Eggs, Bacon, Toast, and a glass of Orange juice.” Said Gil as he placed the tray on your lap and the glass on the tray. “What is this?” “I just told you.” “Yeah, but WHAT is it?” “Eggs are what they sound like, Bacon is made via cow meat, toast is just burnt bread with butter on it, and you know what orange juice is.” “B-b-but I can’t eat this!” “Your human if you like it or not, at least try to act like it.” “Fine.” You reluctantly ate the food that was given to you, and even though you hate to admit it, it was delicious. The next few hours were mainly trying to get you to accept that you are human for the time being, and chances are that Octavia has gone to Princess Celestia and they are looking for a way home for you. Gil said something about talking about the current world, what ever that means.
Let's TalkChapter IX Let’s Talk “You know how I told you about how Canada and the United States were side by side? And how the rest of the world was only across the sea?” Vinyl nodded in response. “Yeah, you said that they were both founded by... Britain?” “Yes, that’s only half of the story, about seven years ago, near the end of the war, a project was infiltrated, and a weapon was detonated, the blast radius was huge, it engulfed much of the US and Canada, and bits of Mexico. It didn't destroy us by any means, it just. Moved us. We are NOT on Earth our birth world, maybe we are but we never found any land. Up until a few month ago that is, they found three different continents, by our readings, they’re very primitive, not stupid mind you, they still use swords, metal armor and hand held shields, while we use guns, power armor, and personal energy shields. The government coined them: Narris, Bate, and Yocok. A cult and a few people know have called them: Atmora, Aldmeris, and Tamriel. These were fictional places, from a series know as The Elder Scrolls, and from the looks of it, we are now in a place called Dragon Land or Akavir. We are trying to figure out what to do, I should be at the base working this out, but I wanted to head back to school, no point now, we have an Equestrian sleeping in my bed.” “And what do we plan on doing.” “Two things, we are heading over to Tamriel, the province know as Cyrodiil, there lay The Imperial City, there The White Gold Tower, there they may hold some knowledge on Oblivion Gates, from there we can send you home. And the second, we set up some sort of union, we vastly out number they, so they may accept without hesitation. If not, we may have a war on our hands.” Vinyl had accepted it with out question, maybe she was learning that this world should NEVER be questioned. “Why don’t you and I see the town?” Asked Vinyl through the Toilette door. “We’re in the Stratosphere.” “Where now?” Asked Vinyl as she exited the Toilette trying her hair. “45 Kilometers above the ground, we’re on a floating city, La Ville Del Sueño And Unity.” “How did you do this?” Asked Vinyl as she pulled over the shirt. “Magic.” You replied with sarcasm positively dripping from you words. “But you sai-” Said Vinyl as she pulled the towel off from under the shirt. “I’m joking, the city is about ten mile wide and about fifteen long, they have ten Super Turbines holding it in the sky, along with four more just in case. Four in each corner, two on Starboard and two more on Port, and the last two on the Aft. The Bow is relatively light, so it only needs the two. The Aft holds the main Chapels and two of the largest malls ever made.” Replied You as you joined her on the couch. “Mall?” Asked Vinyl as she perked up from her slouching position on the couch. “Massive build hold hundreds of different stores.” “Can we go?!” Asked Vinyl with the utmost enthusiasm. “Sure, let’s get you dressed first.” “Why?” “Didn’t Michael explain anything?!” The next ten minutes or so were spent explaining to Vinyl why humans wear clothing, and why most frown upon nudity. “That said, in the more Canadian parts of the city it’s not illegal. Just frowned upon.” “Why don’t we stick to that side?” Asked Vinyl as she looked into the glass of juice. “Because, that’s just the Port side, and in the Malls it is wiped away, they have their own rules, plus it’s only for tops not bottoms.” “Oh, what do I wear?” Asked Vinyl as she slammed a vodka orange juice mix. “I’ll think of something.” You spent the next few minutes thinking of different ways to cover up Vinyl, you were much too tall for her to wear you clothing. But, just like the realization had hit Michael, it hit you with just as much, if not more force. “Got it! Wait here.” You bolted for you room. When you returned you had four pieces of blue clothing. “What are these?” “Tee-shirt, boxers, swimming trunks, and a fisherman’s hat, oh and Jaq’s flip-flops.” “What do I do with these?” Asked Vinyl quizzically. I will fucking kill you! “You wear them!" “O-okay.” She reached for the collar or the shirt just before you stopped her. “No, no, no, no, no! Not here, there!” You pointed for your room. “Why?” “Were you even listening?” “Of course!” “Then get in the room!” Vinyl exited your room fully clad in blue, you still didn’t know why you picked blue to give her. But in any event you and she headed for the Mall of McKenn on the Port side of the City/ Ship.
Time for FunChapter X Time for Fun The main entrance for the mall was massive, it dwarfed Vinyl. “Hey, don’t tell me I need to call an ambulance.” “I-i-i- I can’t.” Said Vinyl, at least she tried to say it. After about a minute of waving off people whom came to her rescue, you final snapped her out of her zombie like state by flashing her with the brightest camera you could find/borrow. “Hey, Vinyl, you alright?” “No.” Replied Vinyl as she reached for you hand which you extended prior to her comment. “Tell me, are you going to, you know, turn to stone like the whole Crete court?” “Actually it was the Argos Court, Crete is the Minotaur Myth.” Said a ominous voice from behind you. It made you face droop but as you turned you put on you best smile you had in your pocket. “Valaria!! So good to see you, what brings you here?” “Drop the attitude Major, here.” She handed you a black folder with red markings on it. “M-m- Major? What do you mean?” “You don’t check you email do you?” You shock your head in response. With a heavy sigh she replied: “You and much of Varo Squad have been promoted, as a ‘thank you’ from the Lord Admiral. Along with orders.” “And what are the team’s new ranks?” With another heavy sigh she replied. “For the Canadian side of the team: Warrant Officer John McKennery is now Master Warrant Officer John McKennery, both Master Corporal Yin Ok’resk and Corporal Yang Ok’resk have been promoted to Warrant Officer Ok’resk, I belive they took the news so well that they are both missing, I suggest looking in the gutters near on of the many pubs, and lastly, Private Recruit has passed his entrance exam, no doubt thanks to you and your team saving his ass in Anchorage. I’m sure the good Captain Seth will fill you in. Good day, and you too miss.” Said the silver eye woman as she turned and headed for a large four door truck. “What in the hay was that about?” “You remember that woman I told you about who got me shot?” “Yeah.” “That was her.” “How did she even get that to happen?” “She ordered half the Royal Guard to the Castle and Half to kill the guy who was tagged by the sniper, and that guy happened to be me, the target and me got into a knight fight and she kicked the ever living shit out of me and placed the tracker on me, thus I hand to out run and doge over seventy-five thousand high caliber rounds, to be fair, she didn’t’t know.” “Why couldn’t you order the men to stop.” Asked Vinyl as she looked at a human size statue of a soldier in power armor. “That’s the thing, I tried to pull rank, BUT the guards who were hunting me were the ARD Unit prototypes.” “What are they again?” Asked Vinyl as she look into one of the many sweet shops that lined the entrance. “I never told you about them.” “No time like the present!” Replied Vinyl as she walked ahead of you. “Too many people, but we’ll talk later, let’s shop!” What ensued was what you could only describe as the deflation of you wallet. It only took a few hours for your entire civilian account to drain until there was only a few hundred left in it, by then Vinyl had immersed a hord that dwarfed that of a dragon. You on the other hand merely grabbed a few random products, chewing gum, matches and a few boxes of lead weighs. “Why do you need thoughts?” Asked Vinyl as she looked at the odd collection of things in your hands. “I need the lead for a project I’m working on, matches because it’s always good to have them, and I have no clue why I have the gum.” “That’s gum?!” Asked Vinyl in befuddlement. “Yeah. What never seen gum in tube form?” “Nope, just in bags.” Replied Vinyl as she took a bite from her apple. “That shit must suck.” “Hey.” Replied Vinyl in an annoyed yet playful tone. “What’s with the Dragon Hord?” “What do you mean?” Asked Vinyl as she leaned back and took another bite from her apple. “You have sixteen bags of shit!” “Sixteen bags of awesome!” Replied Vinyl as she reached down for something to show off. “Fine, what ever, just don’t burn down my place while I’m away I think I’ll hire a vet or something to take care of you.” “Don’t you fucking!” Yelled a voice behind you. You turned to see a body come flying towards you at re-entry speed. The man impacted you, sending you up and over the table you were sitting at. “You want to try that again Kii?!” Yelled the voice once more. “I hav- Oh shit. Yang, I’m going to get for throwing you little sister at me. “No, I’d rather not, who did I hit?” Asked Yin as he looked around, spotting you then turning to stone. “Moosh Koosh, help me you idiots.” “Sorry Gil.” Said Yin as she helped you up. “Yeah, sorry Gil.” Copied Yang. “What the hell are you idiots doing?” “What do you mean?” Asked Yin as she brushed you off. “Never mind, why are you here?” To your surprise, no one had called security. Or hell even a Mall Cop. Then you noticed both Yin and Yang were in their dress blues, and the rank of Warrant Officer proudly plastered on their shoulders. After calming Vinyl, you explained to her that both Yin and Yang were your oldest friends, even older than you brothers. “So, you Gil’s new girl?” Asked Yin as she took another sip from her cup of water and tried to clean off her bloody scar. “Yin.” “No, it’s fine, but no. Just a girl who got dropped off in the middle of nowhere, rescued by a friend, and pawned off to this, charming man.” You slowly turned you head to face Vinyl, a grimace look don in you face. “Right, so what do you think?” Asked Yang as he gesture towards the new rank arrayed on his shoulder. “Yeah, just learned that a few hours ago, Valaria personal walked up and kicked me in the balls.” “Aww, I’m sure she’ll make them feel oh so mush better tonight.” Mocked Yin. “Muwin.” “Well, you are learning, but not the right stuff. Still, it’s progress, I guess.” Replied Yang. The rest of the day was spent both explaining to Yin and Yang about Vinyl, and to Vinyl about Yin, Yang, and your old life. In the end, you and Vinyl strolled home, a bit romantic, and a bit awkward, the bags of nothing really cock-block you. Across thirty-seven different dimensions. “I got it! Now all we need are two things to help us find her!” Squeaked Twilight as she bolted into Ditzy and Doctor Hooves’s room. About a half second later Ditzy was slammed into the far wall, more than likely by herself. Upon seeing this Twilight tilted her head in confusion. “Great, go tell Octavia. And get out.” That last part was so quite, Fluttershy seemed louder. “OH RIGHT!! I’ll go do that she might have the things we need!” And with that, and a flash of magic, Twilight left the room, and her mark on the floor. “Why did you do that?” Asked Doctor Hooves as he sat in the bed, the covers draping over him. “I figured it was easier to explain why I’m on the other side of the room than why my mouth is at the base of your shaft.” Replied Ditzy as she slowly walked back over to her lover. “Hmm, right. Well then, let’s finish up and w-” He was cut off by Ditzy, laughing like a school Filly. “Hahahahahahaha" The laughter lasted about thirty solid seconds. "Not happening, she’ll be back in, 3, 2, 1.” After about a half second delay, Twilight and Octavia appeared in the room. Doctor Hooves slammed his hooves into his crotch, trying to hide his tent in the covers. He immediately regretted his, wrenching in a sharp put quick pain. Octavia watched as Twilight placed the four different objects in the center of the empty stone room. “Twilight, what are these?” Asked Doctor Hooves, whom managed to recover from his blow to the family jewels. “The book called for four things: The first, the blood of a Daedra, we don’t have any Daedra so I got the next best thing, a piece of Nightmare Moon’s armor, granted the Daedra could be the good guys, but from the way they described Dagon, any way the next on it the blood of the Aedra, we’re using a piece from Celestia’s old armor, from before the whole Nightmare Moon thing, a Great Welkynd Stone, no clue what that is, I just loaded a gem with The Power of Friendship, it’s glowing a pale blue, as you can plainly see, and lastly, The Great Sigil Stone, Celestia provided us with an Ebony Crystal, from the time of King Sombre’s Rein of Terror.” Said Twilight as she picked up and show each of the object to Doctor Hooves, who only cocked an eye brow to them all, except the crystal. “And what else do we need to finish this?” Asked Ditzy as she hovered over Octavia, who wore a look of anticipation. “Nothing, just stand back. Guards? Are you ready?” Asked Twilight as she glanced back towards the near hundred guard awaiting her command. “Yes, you’ll go first, then we’ll follow.” And with that, Twilight turned back to the four objects, closed her eyes, and casted a spell. Her spell shit the Ebony Crystal, said crystal sent the spell towards the Welkynd stone, which in turn sent in to the Armor of Nightmare Moon, and did the same for the Armor of Celestia. Once said spell as done, four Demonic, curved, blood stained spikes erupted from the ground, and a Hellish light filled the gap between the four said pillars. Ditzy, Twilight, Doctor Hooves, and most importantly, Octavia all lined up and entered the portal together. And as they did this, the guards readied to move, but much like the fate of their luck, the spikes disappeared along with their charge.
And his name was DagonChapter VII And his name was Dagon “All creatures have a beginning and all have an end. The Daedra and Aedra are no exception. Nor are the gods Anu and Sithis. We, Man and Mer owe our lives to ALL the divine creatures, Aedra and Daedra alike.” ~ The Hero of Kvatch, Savior of Bruma, 7th Champion of Cyrodiil, Second Divine Crusader, The Grand Champion, The Guildmaster of the Fighter's Guild, Archmage of the Mages Guild, The Gray Fox, Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, and Lord Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness. “What are the ‘Aedra’?” Asked Doctor Hooves as he took the book from Twilight. “No clue.” Replied Twilight as she took it back. “From the names, the polar opposites of the Deadra?” Asked Ditzy who was floating over Doctor Hooves. “In other words the good gods” Added Octavia. “Seems so. Enough of that, now Oblivion gates. It says here, Oblivion gates were used by Mehrunes Dagon in the Third Era, they were designed to transport creature and machines from one plane to another. Mainly Nirn and Oblivion, however, thanks to the barrier erected by Akatosh, they are no loner used, now they are used to strike terror into the minds of children.” Read Twilight. “That really helps.” “Wait, the Mysterium Xarxes is a book that helped a man named, Camoran, who created his own plane of reality, but the book is now lost forever, thanks to it being burned to a crisp but the last of the Septim line.” “That helps even more!” Yelled Octavia in frustration. “BUUUUT!, Martin Septim created a copy of the book just in case, the copy was hidden in the pages of THIS book.” Twilight’s head popped up from the pages with the biggest slime ever conjured. “I am very afraid.” Stated Ditzy as she looked at the now semi-snapped Princess. Hours passe as Twilight decoded the meaning of the pages. “Okay I got it, we don’t have the right stuff, but we can make do. Let’s head up, get some rest, and we’ll start first thing in the morning!” Beamed Twilight with a smile that threatened to split her face in two. “Really? Just like that?” Asked Ditzy as she looked at Twilight. “Just like that. Don’t worry! I got it all under control!” “Really Doctor? Do think she’s really got it right?” Asked Ditzy, trying to be as discreet as possible. “No, but we need to trust her. “ Replied Doctor Hooves as he leaned towards Ditzy. “Right, but still.” Said Ditzy as she looked at Octavia whom was thanking Twilight like there was no tomorrow. “No buts.” Replied Doctor Hooves as he began to walk towards the two mares. “Just plots, got it.” Replied Ditzy as she shot forward into the dark shift. “Wait. What?” Questioned Doctor Hooves as he stopped in shock.
