Prologue: Welcome to Ponyville Today

Sleep had been lying over her body like a warm blanket that had even blotted out the rocking motion of the train from her mind. Thus it took Twilight Velvet a moment to react to the foreign voice and hand that shook her gently.

“What?” she asked groggily, blinking away the tears from waking up. For an instant she thought that it had been Night Light who had awoken her like so many years ago.

“Tickets, please,” the conductor said in a neutral tone.

“Oh, right.” Velvet grabbed her handbag, which rested on the seat next to hers, and rummaged through it for a moment. As she did so something spilled out and hit the carpeted floor of the compartment.

Whatever it was started to roll around and hit the conductor’s feet. Trying to be a gentlecolt, he stooped to pick it up. Suddenly he made a surprised noise and froze on the spot.

“Something wrong?” the mare asked.

“You,... uh,” he began. She could see him blush through his grey coat. Timidly he held out what he had picked up in his hand. “I... think you dropped this, ma'am.”

Twilight's eyes wandered down to see a bright pink, distinctly phallic shaped object. She could literally feel her face turn a bright crimson in the shocked second of silence that followed. Then she quickly grabbed the offending article and buried it back in her purse as deeply as she could, stammering a quick thank you. Unfortunately that action had accidentally moved a switch and her purse was now vibrating quite noticeably.

The conductor coughed uncomfortably, trying to the best of his abilities not to meet her eyes and ignoring the buzzing sound hanging in the air. “No problem, ma'am, … erm … but I still need to see that ticket.”

“R-Right,” Velvet laughed with that same twitch in her left eye that could also be seen on her daughter's face, when she was put in an awkward position and finally produced her ticket.

The grey stallion clipped it and handed it back to her. “We'll be arriving in Ponyville in five minutes. Please be sure you've gathered all your longings...” There was another awkward pause. “Belongings, before departing the train,” he corrected himself, turning stiffly on his heel and exiting the compartment.

Twilight Velvet waited until the sliding door had closed, then buried her face in her handbag and groaned loudly into it. What a great way to start her vacation. Once again she rooted around the handbag, this time purposefully seeking out the dildo and shutting it off irritably. Her only saving grace had been that nopony else had been sitting in this particular compartment.

Finally the train pulled into Ponyville station and Velvet stepped off, pulling her trolley and suitcase behind her and with her handbag slung across her shoulder. Looking around she couldn't spot any familiar faces. Strange, she thought. Her daughter had promised to pick her up. Did Twilight forget? She was usually so organized.

Velvet turned as somepony tapped her on the shoulder. To say she was shocked, when she found herself staring down the barrel of a canon, would have been an understatement. But only when a load of confetti exploded in her face with a loud bang did she stumble back and sat down hard on the platform.

Feeling as if all sanity had suddenly abandoned the world, Velvet could only watch as a grinning pink mare stepped out from behind the canon and began to sing.

Hello Hello Hello
A warm welcome to you
Hello Hello Hello
I say how are you?
Hello Hello Hello
I say hey hey hurray
Welcome welcome welcome
To Pooonyyyyville this daaaaaaaaaaay!

When the song was finished, an embarrassed looking teenage dragon stood at her side, offering a helpful claw. “Sorry, auntie,” he apologized. “But there's no stopping her, when she gets like this.”

Velvet smiled and took the claw to pull herself up. “It's alright. Thank you, Spike.” Turning to the hyperactive mare once more, a glimmer of recognition hit her. She had met her a year ago at Shining Armor's wedding for the first time. “You are Ms. Pinkie Pie, aren't you? One of my daughter's friends? I can certainly see why you're the Element of Laughter.”

“Did you like my Welcome Song, Mrs. Sparkle? Did you? Did you?” she asked, bouncing up and down. Evidently she was completely incapable of remaining still for even a minute. "They told me I couldn't use the same lyrics I used for Cranky Doodle Donkey's Welcome Song, so I changed them around a bit."

“Well,” Velvet replied evasively. “This was certainly the most … unique welcome I've ever received.” Judging by Pinkie's ear-splitting grin she considered that a compliment.

Twilight's mother turned her attention back to Spike and ruffled the scales on his head for a bit. “My, you've certainly grown since we last saw each other.” It wasn't just small-talk either. Only a year ago he had barely reached her hips, but now the young dragon was almost as tall as she was.

“Hasn't he?” Pinkie chirped in. “And he hasn't even trashed a single building since this latest growth spurt.”

“Pardon?”

“Let me get your bags, auntie!” Spike shouted, obviously trying to change the subject.

Velvet raised an eyebrow, but decided to let the matter drop. There was something more important weighing on her mind. “I'm really grateful for your welcome, both of you. But where is Twilight? I thought she was going to be here.”

“Right,” Spike answered. “She's awfully sorry about that, but the mayor suddenly wanted to meet her, so she sent me to pick you up instead.”

Velvet sighed. “Oh, I see. My daughter, the princess, huh?” She understood, of course. But there was that irrational part of her that wondered whether Twilight would rather play politics than see her mother.

“Twilight's been really busy,” Pinkie said. “That's why my Pinkie sense told me that there was somepony at the train station who needed a replacement welcome.”

Velvet gave Spike an inquisitive look, but the dragon simply shrugged. “It's Pinkie Pie. Don't question it. It's better that way.”

“If you say so.”

The trio made their way back to Golden Oaks Library, where Velvet would be staying for the duration of her vacation. Despite the initial shock of her party canon Velvet immediately warmed up to the pink mare and the two where chatting animatedly the whole way.

“Whoa, so you're a novelist, auntie?” Pinkie asked excitedly as the three of them entered the library.

Velvet inwardly cringed at the word 'auntie'. She didn't mind Spike saying it. After all he had been a little baby dragon the first time he had called her that and it was an innocent expression of his affection. While he wasn't so little anymore, the sentiment still held true. But to hear this fully grown mare address her as 'auntie' made Velvet feel positively ancient.

“Please call me Velvet and yes, I've written a book or two in my time.”

“Are you kidding?” Spike said incredulously. “She's just being modest. Here, let me show you something.” He put down the luggage and stood in front of a bookshelf in the centre of the main floor. It was completely ordinary, yet Spike gestured toward it as if showing off Canterlot's Crown Jewels. “Ta-dah!”

Velvet gasped. The entire top row was made up of her own works. Wistfully she ran a finger along the spines, as if to gently greet an old lover.

“Twilight always makes sure this one is finished first on Reshelving Day and she takes extra care with it,” he announced proudly.

“I had no idea. Have you read these, Spike?” Pinkie asked, picking out one of the books at random.

“A few,” he admitted, noticing the one Pinkie had picked up. “Not that one, though. Twilight wouldn't let me read any with that mark on it.” He pointed at the corner of the cover. 'Rated M'.

Pinkie gasped. “Oooohhh, I seeee. It's because.... mpfh.”

Velvet had shoved a hand over the pink pony's mouth and was shaking her head.

“Oh, come on, auntie,” Spike said with a dead-pan look. “I know what the M stands for.”

“You do?” Velvet asked, a little frazzled.

Spike nodded and crossed his arms in front of him. “Twilight said it stood for 'Mares only'. So I'm betting it's probably full of girly stuff and such things.”

Velvet giggled nervously. “Right, of course. That's exactly what it means. It would probably bore you to death, anyway. That's why she didn't want you to read it.”

Spike narrowed his eyes. He wasn't a baby dragon anymore, so perhaps he was starting to suspect something fishy was going on. But to Velvet's relief he shrugged, putting the matter out of his mind and turned his attention back to the luggage. “I'll take those upstairs and finish making up the guest room for you, auntie.”

“Please do, Spike. Thank you so much. You're a real gentledrake,” Velvet called after him. Once he was out of sight, she let out an explosive sigh and removed her hand from Pinkie's mouth, revealing a huge grin from the pastry chef.

“Ohhhhh, that juicy, is it? I know what I'm reading before bed tonight,” she announced with sparkling eyes.

Velvet was about to respond, when she saw the title of the book in question for the first time. 'A Knight in Shining Armor'. She had written that one when her life seemed all but perfect. She had recently been married to Night Light and her first foal had been on the way. It was as if all her hopes and dreams had been poured onto the pages. The fact that this included intimate scenes was just an expression of how perfectly content she'd been at that point in her life.

“Please do, Miss Pinkie” she said with a genuine smile at the memory. “It's one of my finer works.”

The pink pony giddily filled out the form to borrow the book from the library. “Spiiiike,” she called up the stares. “I'm checking out a book. I'm leaving the receipt on the desk.”

“Okaaaay,” the dragon called back. “I'll take care of it later.”

Pinkie hopped back over to Velvet and produced two coupons seemingly out of thin air. “These are good for two free cupcakes at Sugarcube Corner,” she said, pressing them into the older mare's hands. “You should totally come over with Twilight sometime. She's been so busy lately that I hardly get to see her.”

“I certainly ...”

Velvet was cut off, when Pinkie gasped and jumped two feet into the air. “OHMYGODITOTALLYFORGOTITWASLICKETYSPLITSBIRTHDAYTODAYANDISTILLHAVETOGETEVERYTHINGREADYFORHISSURPRISEPARTYSORRYAUNTIEBUTIHAVETOGETGOINGSEEYOUAROUND!!!!” By the time she had finished saying that, she was already through the door and halfway across Ponyville.

“... will,” Velvet finished her sentence, standing dumbfounded in the empty library and holding two coupons for cupcakes in her hands. She giggled to herself. “Twilight certainly has made some interesting friends.”

Author's Note

This is my first MLP fanfic, but I've been around the old writing block before. So don't pull your punches, when you think I screwed up somewhere. I encourage constructive criticism.

The idea for this came, when I saw the text on the Twilight Velvet card from the blind bags: “Twilight Velvet loves writing stories about adventures.”