Trixie On Trial

by CartsBeforeHorses

Rating: teen
Tags: Photo Finish, Slice of Life, Main 6, Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Flim and Flam, Iron Will
Length: 3633

Trixie is on trial for crimes she committed during "Magic Duel." The pony media turns it into the trial of the century. At first, Trixie loves all the attention. But then she realizes she may be convicted in the court of public opinion.

Trixie is on trial for enslaving Ponyville and mutilating several ponies with her magic during "Magic Duel." The Equestrian media wants to turn this into Equestria's trial of the century. Trixie, being Trixie, naturally soaks up the media attention. She gives dozens of interviews, basking in the glory of the cameras.

However, she becomes concerned that she may not get a fair trial, and even if she did, she worries that she's already been convicted in the court of public opinion... which to a performer like her, is the most important court of all.

Published 2013-07-21 03:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-21 03:00:02 UTC

The Trial of the Century

Immediately after the events of Magic Duel

Trixie sat inside of her wagon on the outskirts of Ponyville. She had just given the greatest apology known to ponydom to Twilight Sparkle! Surely, the other citizens of Ponyville could forgive her, too. Who knows, maybe they might even be willing to watch some of her magic shows again. She could go on an entire apology tour!

Trixie looked up at the clock on her wall. It was almost 9:00 PM.

"Hmm, it is time for me to brush my great and powerful teeth, and then get in my great and powerful bed," Trixie said, floating a toothbrush over to her mouth and brushing.

Suddenly, she heard a knock at the door of her wagon.

"Ah, it must be an admiring fan!" Trixie thought.

It wasn't.

She walked over to the door of her wagon, opened it, and gazed in shock to see a Ponyville police officer.

"Um, er... what seems to be the problem, officer?" she stammered.

"Trixie Lulamoon?" the cop asked.

"Yes, actually my full name is The Great and Powerful Trixie Lulamoon," Trixie said, throwing her hooves into the air.

The officer slapped a pair of hoofcuffs on her outstretched hooves, got out an arrest warrant, and read, "You're under arrest for three counts of attempted murder, four thousand three hundred and two counts of false imprisonment, seventy-five counts of forced labor, ten counts of assault and battery, and one count of petty theft for stealing a bushel of apples."

"That's right!" Applejack yelled somewhere from off in the distance.

"But... but..." Trixie stuttered.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything that you say can and will be used against you in a court of law—"

"Wait, court?" Trixie shuddered.

"—If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you—"

"A public defender? Never!"

"Listen, can you just let me finish reading this?" the officer groaned.

"Oh, sorry."

"—If you choose to answer questions, you may stop at any time and request an attorney. Do you understand these rights as I have read them?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Good. Off to the station!" he said, pulling Trixie along. She had to shuffle along on her two hind legs, stumbling about, since she couldn't use her two front legs, as they had hoofcuffs on them. It was kind of amusing, actually.

*****

Trixie sat in a darkened room, a spotlight glaring down on her face. She sat at a small table across from another police officer, who was busily scribbling notes down on his notepad.

"I already told you. It was a magical amulet. I didn't want to do those things; the amulet made me!"

"A likely story," said the interrogating officer. He took a long drag off of his cigarette and blew the smoke into Trixie's face.

"How rude! How dare you contaminate my great and powerful lungs with secondhand smoke!"

"If they're so great and powerful, why can't they handle smoke?"

Trixie didn't have an answer.

"Alright, alright, playtime's over. You called me, Trixie? I hope you didn't say anything to these clowns," said Trixie's lawyer, Scott Free, as he opened the door and walked in. He was an emerald-coated earth stallion with greasy, slicked back brown mane, and he wore a black pinstripe suit.

"Officer. OUT!" He motioned towards the door, and the officer left the two in private.

"Oh, Scott, thank Celestia that you're here," said Trixie, "They were asking me all sorts of questions about what I did, and..."

"And you didn't say anything, did you?"

"No, just that the amulet made me do it..."

"What? You ADMITTED to it!?" Scott yelled, slamming his hoof down on the table.

"Well, yeah. I mean, everypony in Ponyville pretty much knows it was me who took over the town. Even you know, since I made you give me a five-hour backrub."

"Yeah, and by the way, I expect to be paid my full hourly rate for that," Scott Free scoffed, "But I can't believe you admitted to it! If you hadn't, we could've used the classic changeling defense!"

"You mean claim that it was a changeling doing those things, and not me?"

"Exactly. But nope. Now, we'll have to go with amulet insanity."

"What's that?"

"We claim that wearing that alicorn amulet made you not responsible for your actions, of course!"

"Oh, so sort of like the cutie mark defense?"

"Yep. That's how I got Snips off for assaulting somepony with a pair of scissors. 'It had to be my destiny, your honor, because it was what my cutie mark was telling me!' For you, it will be the amulet."

"Sounds good," Trixie responded.

"Now, whatever you do, just DON'T TALK to ANYPONY ELSE!" Scott Free commanded.

"Okay, I won't," Trixie said.

She would.

*****

"The trial date is set for the tenth of September, and bail is set for a hundred thousand bits!" the judge, Powdered Wig, declared, slamming his gavel down on his bench.

"Objection, your honor!" Scott Free yelled.

"Yes?" Powdered Wig answered.

"I protest this outrageous bail. My client is obviously not a flight risk. She even stayed in Ponyville long enough to be arrested, and didn't resist arrest. She also cannot afford such an outrageous sum."

"Hmm. You raise interesting points. Fine. Bail is ten thousand bits."

"Thank you, your honor," Scott Free said.

*****

As Trixie left the courthouse, her eyes were temporarily blinded by the sun as well as the flash of dozens of cameras. Suddenly, dozens of news reporters asked her questions.

"Trixie! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Care to comment on your arrest?"

"Will you still do your magic shows?"

"When's the trial date?"

Trixie felt torn. On the one hoof, she wanted to obey her lawyer. But on the other hoof... all this attention! Her heart raced. All the cameras flashing... the adoring public wanting to know every detail of her life... yes! Oh, Celestia, YES! She would tell them everything!

She gave into her basal fame-seeking instincts and announced, "Citizens of Ponyville. You may be wondering about my recent great and powerful coup in Ponyville. I only did it because I felt I was doing it for the best. Rest assured that the answers you seek will be answered at my trial on the tenth of September, when I will clear my name!"

Trixie posed for the camera, relishing in the spotlight.

They asked her a million more questions, but she simply threw some of that dust on the ground that she normally uses to escape. Always leave 'em wanting more, after all.

However, she didn't run away fast enough, as they could see her running after the smoke cleared.

"There she goes!"

"After her!"

"Good grief," Trixie said. She wished that she actually knew how to teleport, but alas, all she knew was stage magic.

She ran back towards her wagon, ran inside, and locked the door behind her.

"Oh, good. Now I'm safe in—"

"Hallo, Trixie!" Trixie turned around to see a cyan-colored earth pony with a white mane who was wearing a fancy black dress and purple sunglasses.

"Wha... who are you!? Get out of my wagon!" Trixie said, pointing her hoof towards the door.

"Not zo fast, darling," she spoke in a German accent, "I am Photo Finish, and I vant to make your face shine across Equestria!"

Trixie put her hoof down. "Pardon me?"

"Yes! Your case has attracted quite a lot of ze media's attention. I vould love for you to appear in mein magazine, und for you to give me an exclusive interview!"

Trixie's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Let's do it!" Trixie exclaimed. Photo Finish got out her camera, snapped a picture of Trixie, and got out a notepad for the interview.

*****

"Ah, another day at the Ponyville Library," said Scott Free as he browsed through the library.

"Let me know if I can help you find anything," Twilight Sparkle said, walking up to him.

"No thank you, miss, I simply am here to read some of the legal textbooks on the amulet insanity defense."

"Oh, legal textbooks? That's under L," said Twilight, leading the way towards the L section. On the way, they passed by M for magazine, and out of the corner of his eye, Scott Free noticed this:

Trixie on the front cover of Rolling Pone magazine

Scott Free's face turned a bright scarlet red as his mane lit on fire. "WHAT DID SHE DO! DID SHE SERIOUSLY GIVE AN INTERVIEEEEWWW!" he screamed.

"Um, what's wrong?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, just my CASE is wrong!" Scott fumed, "I told that mare not to talk to the media, and what did she do? She got herself on the cover of Rolling Pone! Great, now she'll prejudice any potential jury members!"

"I think she already did that when she enslaved every last stallion, mare, and foal in Ponyville," Twilight said, raising an eyebrow.

"No, when she allegedly enslaved them. Innocent until proven guilty!" Scott Free retorted.

"Look, I know all about the amulet," said Twilight, "I was the one who got it off of her."

"Were you?"

"Yeah. But I'm not testifying at her trial. It was her decision to put on the amulet, and I don't care if it made her do it or not, she needs to face just—"

"SUBPOENAED!" said Scott Free, and handed Twilight a subpoena, a legal document which compelled her to testify at the trial.

"Great," Twilight scoffed.

"I'll just need you to tell the jury what you just told me. Minus, of course, your opinion as to her guilt," said Scott Free, smiling. Having a magical expert witness like Twilight on his side would make his case a lot easier to win.

*****

Rainbow Dash sat inside of her cloud home, watching her cloud TV when EBC News came on the air.

"This is Iron Will with EBC News!" said the Minotaur, who was apparently a newscaster, "I'm not a conservative shill; I'm Iron Will! We have breaking new footage in the Trixie Lulamoon case!"

"Eh, boring! These court cases are so stupid. Why does the media always turn them into a circus?" Rainbow said. She reached her hoof towards the remote, but then paused as a video of her flailing around with a giant wing appeared on the screen.

"Wait, WHAT? What if the Wonderbolts see this? I'll be ruined! This is so embarassing!" Rainbow Dash said, burying her face in her cloud pillow.

"Yes, you've heard it here, folks! She's guilty as sin, throw her in the bin!" Iron Will rhymed, tearing a sheet of paper in half.

"And they should!" said Rainbow Dash.

Suddenly, however, the video cut away from the part where Trixie turned Rainbow Dash back to normal.

"Yes, and she is still horribly disfigured to this day," said Iron Will, "And it's like I always say in these cases: Throw her in jail; don't give her any bail!"

"But that's not what happened!" Rainbow Dash raged, throwing her remote at the TV, "Now I'm a laughing stock and everypony will think I still look like that."

*****

After the jury selection, Applejack was in her barn shoveling hay, listening to the radio.

"Welcome to Flim Flam Radio. I'm Flim, he's Flam, and today, we're going to give you our analysis of the jury selection for the Trixie Lulamoon case."

"Well, I think the fact that the jury is all female helps Trixie in this case," said Flim, "After all, they might take more compassion on her."

"I don't think so. If there's anything that mares hate more than stallions, it's other mares!" replied Flam, laughing.

"Well, I think we can both agree that there being no unicorns on the jury really hurts Trixie," said Flim.

"Yes. It's kind of hard for an earth pony or pegasus to understand the amulet insanity defense that they're trying to raise."

Applejack's head rose up and she said, "What? I beg your pardon? I'm plenty smart enough to understand that! I ain't a moron!"

"Yes, like that one earth pony that we tried to partner up to make our delicious cider with. What was her name? Applejack, right Flam?"

"Yes, Flim, that is correct. She wasn't very bright, was she?"

Applejack's face contorted in pure rage as she bucked the radio, breaking it.

"That'll teach you to think I'm an idiot! Bet that kick in the teeth hurt, didn't it?" she yelled.

*****

"Ah, time to do some vanity surfing of myself on the internet," said Trixie. She sat down in her desk chair and went onto Ponoogle, the pony version of Google, and searched for her own name. What she saw, however, would shock her. She saw dozens of news articles written about how she didn't stand a chance in court. She saw many gleets from Glitter, the pony version of Twitter, about herself. They were almost all negative.

Trixie's jaw dropped in shock. How could ponies say such horrible things about her? She... she had never intended for this to happen! All she wanted was for her trial to get her fame... but not like this!

"What on earth do I DO?" Trixie said, falling down and bawling on the keyboard.

*****

Trixie sat nervously in her chair as the judge, Powdered Wig, slammed his gavel on the bench.

"We are gathered here today for the trial of the City of Ponyville vs. Trixie Lulamoon. Trixie, you are charged for crimes of against the city of Ponyville and the nation of Equestria. How do you plead?"

"Not guilty by reason of amulet insanity," said Trixie.

"Very well. Counsellor , proceed with opening statements."

"Yes, your honor," said the state's attorney. He got out of his chair, faced the jury, and spoke, "My name is Legalese, and I am the attorney representing the City of Ponyville in this case. On the third of February this year, this unicorn," he gestured dramatically towards Trixie, "Enslaved an entire town for three days and forced them to build statues, pull chariots, and make food for her. She also put up a magical forcefield, preventing anypony from leaving. Now, the defense is claiming that the amulet which gave her these powers made her temporarily not responsible for her actions. However, we will show that she was in fact entirely sane at the time. Thank you." He sat down.

"Does the defense wish to present an opening statement as well?"

"Yes, your honor," said Scott Free, standing, "My name is Scott Free, and I am representing Trixie Lulamoon in this case. Now, despite what you have heard from Legalese, the Alicorn Amulet is in fact a corrupting magical artifact. We intend to call several witnesses indicating that Trixie Lulamoon did not in fact have control over her actions at the time, and can not be held responsible. Thank you." He sat down.

"Prosecution, you may call your first witness."

"Thank you, your honor," said the prosecution attorney, standing up, "The prosecution wishes to call Pinkamena Diane Pie to the stand."

Pinkie Pie bounced merrily up to the witness stand.

"Miss Pinkamena Diane Pie, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you Celestia?"

"Yessirree Bob!"

"Now, miss Pie, where were you on the third of February?"

"Oh, I was just hanging around in Ponyville, and I had actually just wanted to throw this huuuuuge party, so I was headed to the party store to buy some party stuff, but then I ran into Trixie!"

"Trixie? Can you please point her out to us?"

"Yeah, she's right over there," Pinkie said, pointing towards Trixie.

"And what happened next?"

"She used this spell on me to take my mouth and nose away!"

"So she took away both your mouth and your nose? Did this stop you from breathing?"

"No, I can breathe through my eyes," Pinkie said.

"But did Trixie know this?" Legalese asked.

"Don't think so," Pinkie responded.

"So she attempted to murder you, then?"

"Well, judging by the fact that most ponies would suffocate if that happened to them—"

"OBJECTION!" Scott Free rose to his feet and dramatically pointed towards Pinkie Pie.

"Yes?" the judge asked.

"This is horrible for my case!"

"That isn't a proper objection," said the judge.

"Well, what about the fact that she's testifying as to Trixie's state of mind, something she could not know."

"Actually, I can know because I can read minds!" Pinkie said, smiling.

"Sustained," the judge ignored Pinkie and slammed his gavel onto the bench.

"I'll ask another question, your honor," said Legalese, "Now, miss Pie, what did she do next?"

"Well, she and Twilight had a duel, and she threw a cart at Twilight, which Twilight dodged, but then it came flying for this one other mare. She tried to run, but she tripped, but Twilight grabbed the cart with her magic and saved the mare."

"So, you could say that Trixie attempted to crush the mare with the cart, which would have murdered her—"

"OBJECTION!"

"Sustained. Counsel, please refrain from asking the witness questions that pertain to the truth of the matter asserted."

"Yes, your honor. Now, Pinkie, when was the next time that you saw the defendant?"

"She made me dance for her!"

"She did?"

"Yeah, and then when I didn't dance, she just used her magic to force me to," Pinkie said.

"I see. Now, when was the next time that you saw her?"

"Oh, when I played ten instruments at once to try and fool her into taking off that amulet! I played the tuba, the drums, the accordion, the—"

"That's fine, Pinkie. No further questions, your honor."

"Does the defense wish to cross-examine the witness?"

"Yes, I would." said Scott Free, "Now, Miss Pie, I have a few questions for you. Now, have you ever seen Trixie at any point before this encounter?"

"Yeah, when she came to town a few years ago."

"But she wasn't acting the same when she was wearing the amulet, was she?"

"No. She was a lot... meaner. I mean, she was mean before, but she was being a Meanie McMeaniepants when she came back with the amulet on!"

"So the amulet affected her behavior, then?"

"Objection," Legalese said, "This witness can't testify as to the defendant's state of mind."

"Sustained," said Powdered Wig, "Scott Free, I would think that you of all ponies would know better, considering you have objected to the same thing before."

"I apologize, your honor. I'll move on. Now, Miss Pie, you said that you were playing a tuba later. But how could you do that with no mouth?"

"Uh, well... you see, I can play the tuba through my eyes, as well."

"Miss Pie, do you realize that you are under oath?"

"But it's true! Really, I can play it through my eyes!" she said, as the jury chuckled.

"No further questions, your honor," Legalese said, and sat back down.

The trial continued for another several days. Legalese called several other ponies who Trixie had assaulted or forced to work for her, and Scott Free called Twilight to testify as to the Amulet's effects, as well as Snips and Snails to testify to Trixie's change of character when wearing it. Then, Trixie was called to the stand.

"Now, Miss Trixie, please tell us about this amulet," Scott Free said.

"Well, I bought it at this store, and I thought that it would give me extra magic. It did, but it made me do horrible things, and I am completely sorry!" she said, tears streaming down her face.

"So you never intended to enslave the entire town?"

"No. Like Twilight said, the amulet was making all of the decisions."

"No further questions, your honor," Scott Free said, sitting.

"Prosecution?"

"Yes, your honor," said Legalese, standing. "Now, Miss Lulamoon. You were quite a disagreeable pony before you put on the amulet, were you not?"

"No, the Great and Powerful Trixie has always been a ray of sunshine!" she said.

"But other witnesses have testified that—"

"That was the amulet!"

"But before that, when you came to town the first time—"

"That was part of my act!"

"No further questions, your honor," said Legalese.

*****

Finally, the jury came back with the verdict after several days.

"Has the jury reached a verdict?" Powdered Wig asked.

"We have, your honor," the forepony said, "We find the defendant not guilty by reason of amulet insanity."

Trixie breathed a huge sigh of relief as Scott Free jumped out of his chair, stood on the table and yelled, "YEAH! IN YOUR FACE!"

Trixie left the courtroom, absolutely ecstatic. Just as she was leaving the courtroom, a bullet zipped past her head and hit the doorpost.

"AAH!" everypony yelled.

"Great," Trixie sighed, "I may have been exonerated in here, but I've been convicted in the court of public opinion."

"Well, it's your own damn fault," said Scott Free.

"True," Trixie conceded, "Guess I'm moving to the Crystal Empire." As she ran back to her carriage, she had to dodge flying apples thrown by Applejack and more bullets shot by angry townsfolk.

*****

"Spike, take a letter," said Twilight. Spike obliged, grabbing the feather and parchment in his claw.

"Dear Princess Celestia. Today, we learned that the media can mess up somepony's life a lot more than the court system. They completely suck, and they shape public opinion in horrible ways for the sake of making some trial of the century, but they ruin ponies' lives. We are all innocent until proven guilty, even if you are somepony as mean as Trixie, but the media is horrible, even worse than her."

Sincerely,
Twilight Sparkle