Eyes are a gateway to the soul. A famous pony once spoke this phrase so many years ago. This saying has been something that has always been on the edge of my thoughts for the past one hundred years. No matter how much research I dedicated to the task, I've yet been able to quantify or identify exactly what a soul is. I can measure a pony's magic, calculate their age at a glance, and all sorts of other things I've found out in the pursuit of finding what exactly is a soul.
Although I still am unable to put a hoof on what a soul is, I know that looking at a pony's eyes will reveal their character, their emotions. This is something that Shiny actually taught me when I was young. He always was so overprotective of me, and wanted me to able to see what a pony's intentions were for when he wasn't around. I know everypony thought I had retreated into books and studying and was antisocial as a result, but the truth was much different.
The same skill that Shiny used to become your captain let me see everypony's intentions you see. It wasn't that bad before becoming your student, but afterwards... everypony who approached me held nothing but negatives within their eyes. Jealousy and anger were the most common; wanting to use me for what I meant and not to spend time with me, the pony. As a result, I simply let myself retreat into my books, my studies, all in the hopes that they would write me off and quit trying.
And then, something amazing happened. Ponyville. It sounds so silly now, but that was the first time where ponies wanted to get to know me out of genuine curiosity. They weren't looking to use me as a tool, but to spend time with the pony I was. I met five wonderful mares who I was so grateful to call my best friends, as well as a whole town filled to the brim with supportive ponies. Even before we ran off into the woods that day to confront Nightmare Moon, I could see who they were from their eyes.
Applejack, so filled with pride and honesty in her family's products, and a welcoming and open pony. Rarity, her inner caring and generosity an opposite to her air of Canterlot nobility she always put forth. Pinkie, whose eyes were always filled with such joy she could warm the cold north by herself. Rainbow Dash, so much pride and loyalty, and a caring pony underneath her hard exterior. And of course, Fluttershy. Always so shy and timid that one would think of writing her off, but her eyes showed an infinite ability to find kindness for everypony and everything.
These five ponies who I barely knew followed me into the forest that day, a place that was filled with dangers and peril, all out of the kindness of their hearts. When we confronted Nightmare Moon, even though I knew you weren't telling me everything when you sent me to organize the festival, I could tell at first glance what was going on. The eyes of Nightmare Moon, ones which ponies saw as filled with cruelty and coldness, were filled with so much conflict and pain instead. I knew that we needed to save her, and that the Elements of Harmony would do just that.
Those were the best years of my life, I'll openly admit. They were the best friends I ever had, and everything we went through brought us so close together, we saw each other as sisters. I recall some of the major conflicts we helped resolve as we went through those early years. Sombra, who's eyes were filled with hatred to the point that there was no chance at redemption. Chrysalis, who even with her egotistical front, I saw nothing but desperation in her eyes even as she stood over us all thinking the day was won for her.
Then there's you, Celestia. You've been a constant in my life, somepony who I've always looked up to. I had such a hard time reading your eyes when I was young, but looking back now it all seems so obvious. During those early years of being your student, I now know that it was pain and remorse that filled your eyes, even as you put forth your mask of the Princess of Equestria. When I would achieve something spectacular for my age, flashes of happiness would cross your eyes, a warmth that even now I still enjoy feeling. I think the day Luna was cleansed stands out the most to me, though. Your mask was dropped that day immediately following our use of the elements. You radiated happiness to the point that you would've lifted even the most depressed pony's mood just by being in your presence.
On my coronation day, you were filled with hope and pride. I'd achieved what some might consider the ultimate goal of life, immortality and power. Of course, you knew that the power wasn't important to me, not one bit. I don't know if that's why you let me spend most of my time in Ponyville, or if you had other reasons, but I was truly thankful for it. I was able to spend time with my friends and continue my research with much less hassle than if I'd moved to Canterlot. Mayor Mare was somewhat hardpressed to keep up with how quickly Ponyville began to grow once word spread of a princess calling it home, but it stayed the same, lovable town I knew.
But now, when you look at me, your eyes are filled with naught but pain and fear. Only a small amount of hope is visible to me. I just want to know one thing. Why? Is there something you think that I'd hate you for? I knew what I was signing up for when I accepted the Elements' offer to ascend to an alicorn. I was well aware of the fact that I would witness friends and family pass before my eyes, as I'd seen the pain and sorrow in your eyes anytime the discussions we had would drift towards a pony you once knew.
But, I don't hate you for that. Even as I watched the first of my friends pass, I wasn't sad. Looking at Pinkie lying there, her body wracked with pain as she took labored breaths, her eyes reminded me about all the good times we had. Her joy filled them until her last breath, as if saying everything would be just fine. I'm fairly certain some ponies thought I was going insane when I couldn't help but laugh as I sat there at her bedside. But how could I cry? Sure, I was sad, but everything with Pinkie was focused on keeping everypony happy, and what better personifies happiness than laughter?
I watched the rest of my friends pass on, as well as my brother and family. I was there for Cadance for a long time after Shiny passed on, she took it the hardest of anypony I knew. Even then, he had taught her many of the same things he taught me, and we spent days sharing all of our good memories of him rather than lamenting his passing. Sure, we shed tears, but they were of joy and happiness, not of sadness and pain.
Even though my first friends have since passed on, they are still with me. Even if their Elements hadn't turned into my regalia so that I could carry a part of them with me wherever I went, memories of them remain with me, lending their own form of immortality. And even as I lost friends, I've made more. Their children all know me as 'Aunt Twilight,' and even though I know one day I will see their passing, I refuse to let it control me. Knowing somepony and being able to call them a friend is an honor, even if you know time will claim them.
So, do you fear I will hate you? If anything, it's the opposite. I love you for the chance you gave me. For some time, you were a second mother to me, guiding me through life and teaching me so many things. You were a mentor, one who even now I still defer to for help when I need advice. And, most importantly, you are simply another pony and one of three ponies I know will never leave me alone. How could I hate you, with all that you've given me?
Celestia, I love you. Whether you view it as the love of a surrogate daughter you had a direct hoof in raising, a student whose life you brought knowledge and joy to, or simply the love of another pony, it doesn't matter to me. You've given me the greatest gift of my life, and no matter what you'll always hold a dear piece of my heart because of that. I could never bring myself to hate you.
I hope that when I see you next, the fear and pain will be replaced with happiness once more.
Love,
Twilight
Author's Note
Conceived during a shower early this morning while preparing for work, this idea screamed to be written down. Took me roughly one hour to do so, and I think I finally have a happy rebuttal to the large number of Twilight Sadfics that are out there today. I've been wanting to do one for some time, but never could think of a proper approach.
Even a simple saying can segue into something greater. I hope you all have enjoyed this.
