At the Mall

by Dream Bolt

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life
Length: 3887

Rarity takes Pinkie Pie to the mall for the first time. As Pinkie starts... being Pinkie, Rarity begins to question if this was such a good idea.

When Rarity discovers that Pinkie Pie has never been to a mall before, she takes her to the King of Pranceshia mall, one of the biggest malls in Equestria. However, when Pinkie starts acting... like Pinkie, Rarity starts to question if her idea was really such a wise one.

Read the sequels! That is, um... if you want to.
At the Mall Again
Return to the Mall

Published 2013-07-21 20:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-21 20:50:03 UTC

Rarity and Pinkie Pie at the Mall

Rarity’s eyes glistened as she stepped in through the glass doors. Dozens of alluring scents wafted through her nostrils. She drank them in, savoring the ambiance.

“Hey, look at all the stores in this place!”

Beside Rarity, Pinkie Pie was bouncing about excitedly, looking at all the various colorful stores and restaurants. Rarity had agreed to take her along on her trip to the mall, since Pinkie Pie had never been to a mall before. Rarity had been appalled when she had heard this.

“The King of Pranceshia is only one of the most glorious places in all of Equestria!” she had said. “It’s one of the absolute biggest malls in the land, and filled with all sorts of lovely stores! Clothes shops and restaurants and….”

She had had Pinkie Pie at restaurants. It had been a blur as they had gotten aboard the train and dashed off to Canterlot for Rarity to introduce Pinkie Pie to her first mall.

The King of Pranceshia mall was indeed one of the largest malls in Equestria. Even Rarity would get a little lost in it if she didn’t check one of the occasional maps that stood out in the halls. Pinkie Pie simply stared about in awe at the vast structure as they entered.

“So, how about we look about a bit, darling?” Rarity asked. “There’s so much to see here! Of course, I have a few purchases I intend to make, but it can be such fun just to go window-shopping!”

“Huh? They have a store which sells windows here?” Pinkie Pie asked. “Wow! This place really does have everything!”

Rarity merely smirked and shook her head. She knew it could be very difficult if she tried to explain things to Pinkie Pie at times.

As they walked along, Rarity turned to look at some of the clothes one of the stores was showing off. She always tried to keep a close eye on all developing trends.

“Some of these modern fashions are just so gauche.” she commented as she looked through the window of one of the stores.

She strode up to a larger clothing store, looking over the selection appraisingly.

“Pinkie, these look nice, why don’t we go inside and try a few on?” she asked.

“Ooh! I love playing dress-up!” Pinkie cried, bouncing into the air and waving her hooves excitedly.

Rarity selected a few outfit which caught her eye, and went into the dressing room. After a few minutes, she came out wearing a tasteful violet dress.

“How do I look, darling?” she asked.

“Wow! You look totally super-splenderiffic!” Pinkie Pie cried.

Rarity tossed her mane, smiling coyly. “Well, thank you, dear. I do thing that this color really suits… me….”

Rarity’s voice trialed off as she saw the monstrosity Pinkie Pie was wearing. A colorful pair of brightly-colored shorts with erratic shapes and swirls across them, a bright yellow t-shirt with some explosive colors and some pony superhero images on the front, some sparkly pink sandals, green socks with pictures of monkeys on them, and a baseball cap designed to look like a duck.

“Don’t I look super-colorful and bright and cheery?” Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

Rarity plastered a smile on her face. “Yes, you certainly do look… colorful.” she exclaimed, trying to hold back her horror. She gave a nervous grin to some of the ponies who passed by, giving Pinkie Pie odd looks.

“Why don’t we go see what else there is to see around here, hmm?” Rarity asked.

“Okey-dokey-lokey!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, bouncing off.

“Phew!” Rarity sighed, shaking her head. “I guess I should have known better than to trust her sense of style, after her suggestions for her Gala dress. At least she isn’t wearing this outfit of front of lots of….”

“Here’s your bits, sir!” Pinkie Pie cried out. Rarity turned in horror to see Pinkie Pie, still wearing that abomination of an outfit, paying the cashier for the clothes.

She trotted over to Rarity. “Isn’t this outfit great, Rarity? Now I can be even more colorfultastic and bring smiles to everypony! See? Those ponies over there are smiling!” She pointed her hoof towards a couple of mares who were looking at Pinkie’s outfit and chuckling. Pinkie gave them a cheerful wave before trotting on.

Rarity sighed, giving the mares an awkward grin as she followed after Pinkie Pie.

“I have a bad feeling that I’m going to regret this trip.” she murmured to herself.

***************************************************************

“Oh, these perfumes smell absolutely fabulous!” Rarity exclaimed, giving a small squirt of the perfume on her hoof. It smelled like lilies, fresh and clean.

“I simply must find some few scents that would fit my new ensembles.” Rarity exclaimed. She was in the midst of a lovely idea. Pairing perfumes with dresses to create an ensemble for both the eyes and the nose! This lily-scented perfume would go well with a pure white dress, touched up with the lightest of pale greens and yellows for a flowery effect. This robust , slightly spicy scent exuded the perfect feel for a deep red nighttime party gown, speaking of exotic mystery and classy moonlit parties.

“Hey, Rarity! Check this out!”

Rarity found a large piece of cotton candy shoved in her face. She tried to brush it away, unable to see anything but the fluffy pinkness, but it was pushed back in her face.

“Doesn’t it smell delicious?” Pinkie Pie cried from somewhere beyond the pink fluff.

“Yes, it does.” Rarity exclaimed, trying futilely to brush away the pink mass.

“Do you want some?”

Rarity sighed. She knew Pinkie Pie would likely not let up until she had tried some. “Very well. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.”

She took a bite of the cotton candy, only to taste an odd flavor of hair, bubble gum, and soap.

She froze. Drawing ever so slightly back, she heard Pinkie Pie’s high-pitched giggle. Rarity looked down to see that, rather than cotton candy, Pinkie Pie had shoved her mane into Rarity’s face. Rarity looked about awkwardly, then spit out the mass of pink hair, grinning awkwardly to the ponies who were all giving her very unusual stares.

“I meant did you want this cotton candy-scented perfume!” Pinkie giggled. “See? Even you can’t resist how delicious it smells!”

“Pinkie, dear, that’s very nice, but next time could you not shove your mane….”

“Ooh!” Pinkie cried, looking at the other sample bottles, her face lighting up with realization. “Hey, if one of these makes you smell nice, I’ll bet you could smell super-duper-looper nice if you sprayed yourself with all of them!”

“No, Pinkie, wait!” Rarity cried out. But all warnings were lost as she began to cough from the large, heavily-scented cloud that suddenly began to surround Pinkie Pie.

Rarity wailed and covered her eyes. She ran for cover, as did many of the other customers, as the air became almost unbreathable from the sickeningly thick sweet odor in the air.

***************************************************************

Ponies could smell Pinkie Pie coming before they saw her, which was saying quite a bit, considering the pink pony’s gaudy outfit.
Rarity couldn’t help but wish that she had a gas-mask, regardless of what a fashion faux pas it would have been. Pinkie’s overwhelming scent was drowning out all others, and it was almost stifling Rarity.

“Hey, look! Bits!” Pinkie Pie cried, dashing ahead.

She had spotted a fountain, in which ponies has each thrown a bit or two for luck, or just for fun. Rarity momentarily considered doing the same thing. She could use the luck right now.

But apparently, luck had as much control over Pinkie Pie as anything else. The pink party pony promptly plunged into the pool, picking up piles of pay.

“Hey, nice alliteration!” Pinkie Pie cried to somepony that Rarity couldn’t see, continuing to fill her now soaking arms with bits.

Rarity was appalled. “Pinkie Pie, stop! Get out of that fountain this instant!” she cried. “That money doesn’t belong to you!”

“I know!” Pinkie Pie cried, leaping out of the pool with a large armful of bits. “I gotta find the pony who dropped these! I’m sure they’ll be happy to get their money back!”

She dashed up to a nearby stallion. “Did you lose this huge pile of money?” she asked, holding all the bits out for the pony to see.

The stallion stared, obviously looking torn. “Uhh… no.” he finally answered honestly. He cringed to himself, turning his head so as not to look at the tempting pile of bits.

“Oh, shoot!” Pinkie Pie cried. She stood up on top of a bench.

“Has anypony lost a really, really big pile of money?” she shouted out to the store.

A pair of hooves went up, and a pair of dapper unicorns walked up, both with yellowish coats and red and white manes. Had it not been for the one’s moustache, they would have been almost impossible to tell apart.

“We’ve lost it, ma’am!” the one cried. “Isn’t that right, Flam?”

“That’s right, Flim!” Flam cried. “We’ve been looking all over the entire store for it! Thank goodness you found it!”

“Oh, good!” Pinkie Pie cried. “Glad I found out so quickly! Here you go!” She tossed the pile towards the two stallions, who gleefully scooped the money into a sack.

“Just be careful next time!” she exclaimed, trotting off. “The fountain is a silly place to drop your money!”

Flim and Flam suddenly froze and looked at one another.

“Did she say…?” Flam began.

“Hey!” a security guard cried out. “You two! Are you nickin’ bits from the fountain again?”

“W-why, no, sir!” Flim replied, tipping his hat.

“Then why is that money dripping wet?” the security guard asked. “And how come there’s a whole bunch of bits missin’ from the fountain?”

Flam looked both ways, making certain nopony was listening.

“Twenty bits say you never saw this.” he whispered.

The security officer raised an eyebrow. “Are you tryin’ to bribe me? Bribin’ an officer ain’t gonna look good on your report.”

Flim and Flam gave each other a glance.

“Time to peruse elsewhere, Flam?” Flim asked.

“I couldn’t agree more, Flim.” Flam replied.

The two unicorns shot off through the mall, hotly pursued by the security guard.

Pinkie Pie watched them run off. “Ooh! Tag! I wanna play!” she squealed.

Rarity sighed, using her magic to restrain the energetic mare. “I think we should just go check out the other stores a bit, dear.” she stated.

***************************************************************

“H-h-e-e-y-y! M-m-y v-o-i-c-e s-o-u-n-d-s f-u-u-u-n-n-y-y!”

Rarity had sat Pinkie Pie down in front of a fan in a department store to dry off, and Pinkie was having fun listening to how the fan distorted her voice. Fortunately, Pinkie’s dip had fortunately helped wash off a good deal of the perfume, although she still smelled like a cross between a flower garden and a sweets shop.

“Dearie, perhaps we should go see what they have at the furniture store.” Rarity suggested. “I’ve been thinking of adding a few new pieces to my domicile, and I’d like to see what they have.”

“Okey-dokey-lokey!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed cheerfully, bouncing to her hooves.

Rarity sighed. “At least she probably won’t get into too much trouble in a furniture store.” she murmured to herself.

***************************************************************

Rarity sighed with relief. Pinkie Pie had become fascinated with all of the different chairs and couches and lights, and was excitedly browsing through them, testing to see which seats were softer. She would hop into one, sit for about a second, then dash over and sit in another. Her behavior was a little eccentric, but was it wasn’t drawing too many stares, and was as controlled and as close to normal as Rarity could probably expect of the pink mare.

Rarity took a moment to relax, laying upon a water bed. She had considered getting a water bed for some time now, and let the soft, rippling motion rock her gently. She felt her stress melting away, replaced by a peaceful serenity. The gentle waves soothed her, gently rocking her as if she floated on a peaceful lake. She could imagine herself lying beneath the blue sky, that bright light above her being the sun, and that she was on vacation in the middle of the tropics.

Suddenly, an earthquake trembled, sending Rarity soaring up crashing waves more suitable for surfing than sunbathing. She snapped out of her reverie to find Pinkie Pie happily bouncing about next to her on the bed, rolling and giggling.

“Wee! This is fun!” she cried, rolling and jumping about. “I wanna bed like this! It’s all sloshy! WhooOOOOooo! WoooOOOooo!“ she cried, as she moved up and down on the flowing bed.

Rarity clumsily tried to get off, but found herself trapped and unable to roll off the tempestuous water bed. Only when a large rippling wave launched her off the side did she finally manage to get off.

She fell to the ground, feeling more than a little seasick.

“I am most certainly never getting one of those dreadful things.” Rarity muttered to herself.

She suddenly saw a shadow fly over her head, and saw Pinkie Pie was now bouncing from bed to bed, then leaping onto chairs and couches, bounding about the store and trying to avoid touching the ground. On the one occasion when she did touch the floor, she screamed something about ‘hot lava’ and leapt onto a nearby sofa. The store owner was giving her a very unpleasant glare.

Rarity groaned. She just wanted to hide under one of the beds, but she knew that that would solve nothing. Anyways, Pinkie would probably find her, and besides, a lady did not cower beneath a bed.

Rarity got to her hooves. “Pinkie Pie!” she cried out. “Let’s move on! I’m sure there’s other stores you’ll find more interesting!”

***************************************************************

“A candle shop?” Pinkie Pie asked, looking a little disbelieving.

“Certainly.” Rarity exclaimed. “These are top-notch candles. They serve to both beautify a room and to make it smell nicer. There are many scents to choose from. I like to keep a few scented candles burning when I work, myself. It helps lift the creative spirits within me.”

Pinkie Pie dashed over to a nearby candle, pulled off the lid, and inhaled like a drowning pony gasping for air.

She promptly fell over backwards, coughing and snorting as she tried to get the pungent scent out of her nose. Getting to her hooves, she put the candle back, picked up a different scent next to it, and did the same thing all over again.

After about five candles, Rarity stopped her. “Dearie, some of these have a very strong scent.” she told her. “You can’t sniff them so strongly.” Rarity gave a little sniff of a nearby candle. “Goodness, that is strong.” she exclaimed with a slight cough. “I can only imagine what it must have been like for you.”

“That didn’t smell like a forest at all.” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, holding her nose between her hooves. “And serenity is stinkier than I would have thought.”

“That’s just a name, dear.” Rarity explained. “Perhaps you would prefer the candles over there. They smell delicious, like all kinds of spices or fruits.”

Pinkie Pie Dashed over, apparently not learning from her previous mistakes, because she pulled open one of the candles and inhaled deeply.

This time, her nostrils were greeted with the scent of sweet spices which reminded her of the spice cabinet of Sugarcube Corner.

“Mmm! This one smells good!” she cried, sniffing it some more.

Putting the candle back, she proceeded to sniff the next one. It smelled like a delicious, crisp apple. She tried another one that smelled like hot pumpkin pie, and another one that smelled like warm gingerbread, and another that smelled like sweet melons, and another that smelled like tart berry ice cream, and yet another that smelled like fresh cookies.
She stopped as she sniffed a candle that was scented like cupcakes and frosting. It smelled so good. So real. If it smelled that good, could it possibly…?

Rarity turned when she heard a gagging sound. Pinkie Pie was surrounded by a small circle of candles, all of them with bite marks out of them.

Rarity stared in shock. “Pinkie, dear. Did you… try to eat those candles?” she asked in disbelief.

Pinkie Pie spluttered, spitting out a chewed wad of wax.

“These smell nice, but they really don’t taste anything like they smell.” she exclaimed.

“Uh, ma-am?” the store clerk stated, glancing at Pinkie Pie. “You’re going to have to pay for those.”

Pinkie Pie cheerfully reached into her colorful pockets, but only pulled out some lint.

“Sorry. I‘m kind of low on bits.” she said apologetically, giving an awkward grin.

Rarity sighed, pulling out some bits from her purse and handing them to the clerk, as Pinkie Pie grabbed all the candles and threw them into a bag.

“Hey, these’ll make great gifts to my friends!” she cried. “I’ll just have to tell them that they aren’t edible.”

Rarity sighed, shaking her head.

“Pinkie dear, if you’re hungry, then perhaps we could catch a bite to eat. How does that sound?”

Pinkie Pie bounced up and down excitedly.

“Ooh! That sounds scrumdiddlyumptuous!”

***************************************************************

Rarity sat at a table in the Rubray Tuesdays restaurant, delicately nibbling her salad. She had rarely eaten with Pinkie Pie before, and now she remembered why.

The pink pony’s manners were almost nonexistent. Often she would stick her face directly into her food and gobble it down, and would make loud lip-smacking and ‘mmm!’ noises.

Rarity had also made the mistake of offering to pay for lunch. She had forgotten Pinkie Pie’s appetite surpassed possibly anyone in Ponyville, including Rainbow Dash. As Pinkie Pie’s mouth stretched to gobble down a whole tray of desserts in one bite, Rarity could not help but think that for all the world, Pinkie Pie reminded her a great deal of a Parasprite in a pony’s body.

Still, being as generous as Rarity was, she was still happy to at least see her friend enjoying herself. Rarity had, however, insisted that Pinkie Pie eat some protein to balance out the sugar the pink mare had ingested. After all, she still had to look after her, and a sugar rush was the last thing Pinkie Pie needed at the moment.

Unfortunately, Pinkie Pie’s latest discovery was drawing a great deal of unwanted attention. Rarity had insisted that Pinkie Pie put some garbanzo beans on her salad for protein, and when Pinkie Pie had seen the beans, she had burst into hysterics, and hadn’t stopped for several minutes now.

“Dearie, beans really aren’t that funny.” Rarity exclaimed, hoping to calm the hysterical pink pony down.

“But ‘garbanzo’ is such a funny word!” Pinkie Pie cried. “Garbanzo, garbanzo, garbanzo! Hee hee ha ha ha!”

“Pinkie, you’ve been laughing about that for quite long enough, I think.” Rarity stated. She knew Pinkie Pie was the Element of Laughter, but there had to be a limit somewhere.

Pinkie Pie sat up, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes.

“It’s not that.” she exclaimed. “Garbanzo beans are just so funny-looking! Do you know what they look like?”

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Peaches?” she guessed.

Pinkie Pie giggled and shook her head, then leaned in close.

“They look like somepony’s rump.”

Pinkie Pie burst into hysterics again. Rarity looked down at her salad, staring at the garbanzo beans. Now that Pinkie had mentioned it, she couldn’t get the concept out of her head.

She snorted, trying to suppress a smile

No. She wouldn’t. It wasn’t ladylike. Tears came to her eyes as she strained not to laugh. The fact that she wasn’t supposed to laugh just made things all the worse.

The waiter trotted up to them, giving Pinkie Pie an unusual look before turning to Rarity.

“Would you care to try one of our promotional appetizers?” he asked. “We’re selling pita chips and hummus for a limited time offer. Very popular in Saddle Arabia”

Rarity grinned, trying to push her humorous thoughts out of her mind and focus on the waiter.

“That sounds interesting.” she stated. “What exactly is hummus?”

“A paste made from garbanzo beans.” the waiter replied.

Rarity couldn’t hold it in any longer. She totally lost it.

***************************************************************

The two ponies walked out of the restaurant, still giggling.

“I’m certain that everypony in there thought that we were out of our minds.” Rarity chuckled.

“Yeah, but I get that a lot anyways, so no biggie!” Pinkie Pie squealed.

They walked along, passing by all sorts of shops. Suddenly, as they passed one, Pinkie’s ears shot up, and a huge smile came across her face.

“Wait right here!” she cried, shooting inside the store.

Rarity put a hoof to her forehead. Who knew what trouble that mare was getting into now?

“Pinkie!” she cried, striding towards the store. It was a jewelry store, and the last thing Rarity needed was Pinkie Pie causing trouble in a jewelry store.

But to her surprise, Pinkie Pie shot out again in a blur of pink.

“Hey, Rarity, I just wanted to say I’m super-duper sorry for being all super-loopy-doopy hyper and driving you loco in the coco. It’s just that I was having so much fun, and I’ve never been to a mall before, and this place has a lot of really neat stuff, and I just was so enormously happy that you would take me here that I just couldn’t hold it all in!”

Rarity smiled. “I must admit, you are a hoofful.” she stated. “But you’re also my friend. And I’m just glad that you could be happy.”

“And boy, am I ever!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “So to make it up to you for all my super-extra hyperness, I got you a present!”

“Oh, darling that’s not….”

Rarity suddenly stopped mid-sentence as Pinkie Pie pulled out a beautiful, lavish diamond necklace. It sparkled in the light, just as Rarity’s eyes sparkled at the sight of it.

“Pinkie… how did you… I thought you said you were low on bits?” she asked.

“Well, I was low on bits if I wanted to be able to afford your present!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

Rarity shook her head. “I can’t accept this, Pinkie.” she said. “This necklace must be worth a fortune.”

“Of course you can accept it, silly!” Pinkie Pie cried, holding it out to Rarity. “That’s why it’s called a present!”

Rarity gently used her magic to levitate the necklace and strap it around her neck.

“Thank you, Pinkie.” she said, a warm smile on her face.

“No problem! That’s what friends do!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “They want to make you smile!”

Pinkie suddenly whipped her head about, looking at another shop.

“Hey, Rarity, can we go check out the Build-a-Pony Workshop?” she asked. “I wanna build a stuffed pony with a shark head!”

“Well, I suppose….”

Before Rarity could finish her sentence, Pinkie Pie shot off into the store, bouncing about and squealing happily.

Rarity sighed, shaking her head, but this time she was smiling. Pinkie could sometimes be very troublesome to get along with, but ultimately, she was Rarity’s friend, and Rarity wouldn’t trade her for all of Equestria.