Another medicore pony transformation ficby Sky BreezeChaptersWait... I'm a horse?Nameless chapterPonies don't go well with: Biology with a crazy teacher (Well, sort of, since I wasn't paying attention)He who rules Chaos?//optional// CEDA UDL:15-115.00S.N,A.F.U (1)S.N,A.F.U (Part 2)Chapter 8Wait... I'm a horse?Saturday (EDITED!) V1.5 The sun shone through the window, waking me from my ever-so pleasant sleep. Groaning, I buried my head into the pillow, trying to go to sleep again. Unfortunately, it didn't want to give up, so after ten minutes or so fighting the sunlight, I finally decided to get up. Now usually, waking up and getting out of bed was pretty trivial-you know, throw off the blanket, start mumbling about the weather but today, for whatever reason, I couldn’t even grab my blanket. It was like as if someone had severed off my hand and gave me a doze of painkiller, hoping that I won't realize it. “Gah! What the crap!” I asked no-one in frustration, only to notice that for some reason, my voice sounded off tone. To give you an idea how off it was, it sounded like someone had changed the pitch to high and made it sound like a girl's...oh, and squeakier. Or did I accidently take a lot “Qwerty! Errm… hello? Is the world still sane?” Nope, it’s still a girl’s voice. Another thing I realized was that MY HANDS WERE GONE. Instead, in their place were hooves, covered in light blue fur. Being a brony, my reaction was mixed. So I was happy that Five Score might be true, and I could leave this bloody planet and go to the land of Equestria and live happily ever after with other ponies. However, the (small) part of me that wanted to remain as human reasoned with me, saying that either I ate something bad or I'm simply dreaming. Besides, hooves meant no more Counter-Strike, Half Life or Halo! Shrugging that thought away, I decided to focus on the next task ahead-getting up and away from bed. Getting away from bed was easy, I just rolled around until I could shake the blankets loose. While doing so however, I could feel something furry attached to my back that felt like a pair of wings or something. Landing on the floor rather painfully, I winced and allowed myself a couple of minutes to rest and plan ahead. It took me a couple of minutes just to stand up, since a ponies’ centre of gravity is different from a human. Ever tried walking on four limbs? It's something like that, only that your arms and legs wanted to keep on wobbling. So walking was out of the question, unless I wanted to keep on tripping up and falling face-first into the floor. Annoyed by my temporary disability, I finally gave up and resorted to dragging myself around my room with what used to be my hands. Believe it or not, even that was hard! As any person after an operation, I wanted to see how I looked. So, hoof by hoof, I dragged myself to a rather girly mirror that my sister, Andrea had never wanted and dumped into my room. If you're wondering how girly, it was pink with random girly characters on it. (Although I had scraped them off and painted ponies on it instead.) Standing up in front of the mirror that I had never bothered to clean, I managed to get a good look at myself, and I found out that I had really had changed into a Pegasus pony. To be more exact, my OC from my Crap-fic, Aquasplash. For those of you who don’t want to read it or haven't since I deleted it, she’s light-ish cyan blue, with a dark blue mane and a stripe light-blue running through it. Her (or my) irises were green and her cutie mark’s three clouds. (Never thought of explaining why though.) Also, I could flap my wings and fold them in, which was far more easier than trying to walk. When I had finally gotten the hang of walking on all fours-that took me like about half an hour, I debated with myself on whether to check on Andrea. She wasn’t a pegasister or whatever term that was, so I guessed (correctly) that she wasn’t going to buy the fact that her brother had somehow magically turned into a mare overnight. In the end, I decided that the best course of action for now was to sit tight and pray that it was a dream that I was living in. ~~~ About an hour and a book later, I heard what sounded like movement in her room, followed by a loud scream that didn’t belong to my sister. I swear to god, if I find another girl in her room, I’m going to shoot myself in the face.I muttered. That was when I was faced by another challenge: the doorknob was too high. You see, it turned out that a pony was shorter than the average human being, reaching only about a meter in height. Sitting down on the floor, I started thinking for a solution. After eliminating the possibility of kicking the door down, I came to only one feasible conclusion: I had to stand on my hind legs to get to it, since I have yet to master flying. Another problem was that the doorknob was round, which made it hard for hooves to grasp. I compromised by using my mouth instead to grab it, twist it and pull the door open. Note to self: Get a unicorn to open doors when possible. Doorknobs taste like crap. Repeating the same process again for my sister’s door, I carefully made my way into her room. It was probably full of what you expected from a teenage girl. A dressing table, heaps of clothes in the cupboard, a crate of nail polish and some other stuff that I don’t recognize and don’t want to know. In the middle of the room was her bed and in the blankets, I could make out the shape of something. “Andrea? Are you there?” I addressed the mysterious object. “NO! I am not in the room! Go away!” came the same voice I heard just now. Rolling my eyes, I headed towards the bed, careful not to trip over her stuff and fall. Grabbing hold of the blanket with my teeth, I gave it a pull, yanking the sheet of cotton off the bed, revealing the mysterious talking object. What greeted my eyes made my jaw drop. It was (I guess) my sister, also changed into a pony-a lime-green unicorn, otherwise known as Lyra Heartstrings. Funny thing was that my sister never did like instruments. “AHH! PERVERT!” she wailed, diving into the cupboard full of clothes. I guess that being a pony somehow stressed her out. “Andrea! Chill! It’s me, Jake!” I blurted. I realized saying that I was her brother was a bad idea since she started hurling hangers at me. “GET. OUT. PERV!” she screamed, and a hanger hit a glass of water on her dressing table tipping it over and making the liquid that was inside to drip onto her favourite handbag. (Not that she was going to use it anytime soon anyway.) “Why? I’m also a pony.” I retorted, dodging a spiky bracelet thing. "And I'm also a girl now. So please stop?" I reasoned with her. “Because I’m naked!” She replied, finally running out of clothing hangers and resorting to clothes and pillows. Well, that explains a lot. I thought to myself before making my hasty escape from the her seemingly infinite supply of stuff to throw at me. Now would be a good time to leave her alone. I decided as I slammed her bedroom door shut. Looking at a conveniently placed clock, it was already 10 a.m. so I decided to make myself breakfast. The problem was, to reach the kitchen, one had to go down a flight of stairs-and judging by my basic motor skills so far, I wasn’t really confident that I could reach the bottom of the flight of stairs without getting seriously injured. Since I also couldn’t slide down the railing due to my tail, now seemed like a good time to try out flying. Spreading my wings, I tried to recall all those science lessons they had in school on birds, only to come up blank. Shaking my head in frustration, I gave up and decided to make it up as I went. Running to gain some momentum, I jumped off the platform. It went pretty smoothly, until halfway through I realized that I was going to crash into the wall unless I figured out a way to hover. Panicking, I started to lose control and not surprisingly, I crashed face-first onto the ground. Groaning in pain, I made the last few-shaky-steps into the kitchen. ~~~ Making Bacon didn’t seem like a good idea since as far as I knew, ponies are vegetarians. In fact, a potted Fern on one of the windowsills suddenly started to look extremely appealing. Throwing away the thought of eating it away, I started rummaging through the fridge, only to find out to my disdain, there were next to no greens in it. Only some carrots and something that looked like leaves was present. “Oh well, guess I’ll have to try.” I mumbled, tearing apart the packing of leaves with my teeth. Since my mom keeps the dishes in shelves that were above the counter, I ate directly from the packet, chugging the contents down. To my surprise, they tasted sweet and crunchy. I guess that being a pony meant that my sense of taste had improved drastically. I must have wolfed down half the packet before realizing that Andrea needed to eat too. Abandoning the packet of leaves, I proceeded to prepare the carrots. I found a pail of water that happened conveniently lying around, probably rain water or something, judging that the water was pretty clear. Dunking the plants in and letting it soak for a while, I munched on them, finding them a bit too sweet for my liking. ~~~ Just as I was settling down on living room couch to think on what to say to our parents, my Mom suddenly appeared, holding a Taser. How in the world did she get here? I wondered. The next thing she did was pretty shocking too. “Get out horse!” she snarled, pulling the trigger. Youtube Video I managed to doge the two arcs of electricity before they managed to make contact with me. “No no no no! Mom! I’m John! Your son!” I protested, jumping onto a shelf like a cat. Fact:Did you know my mom wasn’t an animal person? Think of her as an animal terrorist. Instead of going ‘Oh no, you can’t be my son or something’, she became madder. Seems like sentient ponies that know how to talk pissed her off even more. Pulling out a fire axe out of nowhere, she started hacking the cupboard. “GRAH!!!!” she shouted as I made a beeline upstairs, somehow managing to figure out how to use my wings and fly. That was when Andrea finally decided to suck it up and go out. I crashed into her and just as she began to insult me, Mom came up, still brandishing the axe. “What’s going on?” Andrea asked, her eyes widening. “TANK!!!” I shouted. It the first word that appeared in my mind. And after all, Mom did seem like one now. Shoving her back into her room, I slammed the door shut. In my adrenaline-fuelled panic, I threw everything I could at the door, hoping to block Mom outside. You know, cupboards, clothes and the odd table. “The Faq?” Andrea/Lyra said, looking at me. “No time to explain Lyra! Mom’s mad!” I wailed, crawling under her bed. “My name’s not Lyra.” She pointed out, still not getting the fact that we were possibly in peril. Ignoring her protests, I grabbed her hoof and pulled her under with me, while Mom was stuck outside, hacking the door away with the axe. ~~~~ Mom must have made a huge racket with whatever she was doing since we heard Dad shouting at her a couple of minutes later for waking him up and trashing the house. After awhile later, it seemed that Dad had managed to calm her down and a immediately after that, Dad started knocking on what was left of the door. “Come out kids! I know you’re there!” He cooed. It was pretty reassuring to hear his voice. Seeing that Andrea was already moving some of the things that I had used to block the door, I decided it was safe enough and began helping her. “Dad. Do you promise not to freak out when we come out?” I asked while clearing away the blockade. I did not want Dad to go berserk just like what Mom did. Even though he was sane, a lack of coffee could do strange things to him. Besides, running on fours was more tiring than I thought, and my wings ached like hell from their first ever usage. “Yes.” He responded, with a hint of annoyance. Well then, here goes nothing I thought as we shoved away the last piece of junk. Crawling under the trashed doorframe, we greeted him with a sheepish smile. "Hi Dad." That was when he promptly fainted and fell onto the floor. Nameless chapterA bit of a bridge (as to avoid potential plot-holes) //EDITED! A.N: I kinda ran into a writer’s block here, so forgive the lack of content. And yes, I didn't do much here. ~~~~~~ “Ahh Great. Dad's passed out and mom’s gone coco. What do we do now?” Andrea wailed, curling up into a ball while looking at dad’s limp (yet alive) body. “Now? Firstly, you need to eat. It’s almost twelve in the afternoon. Then while you’re doing that, I’m going to see if it’s only us or if there’s other people involved.” I replied, taking a peek out of the door. “Hopefully, mom had calmed down when we went downstairs. If not, god helps us.” I said. Taking a cautious step outside, it seemed that the coast was clear. The fire axe that Mom had tried to murder me with was broken into half, lying on the floor. It seems that Mom had went somewhere outside, judging from the fact that the family car was missing. Good. Hopefully, she got drunk enough to like us I mused to myself. Too bad that can't be true. Switching on the T.V was pretty darn hard since the buttons were (obviously) designed for fingers instead of hooves, meaning that hooves were just too big to push a single one. No matter how hard I tried, it just won't detect my command. “Stupid thing! Burn in hell!” I cursed at it-and with that, I kicked the remote away, resulting in it being smashed into the wall and emitting a pitiful cracking sound. Miraculously though, that did the trick and finally turned the blasted thing on. Since dad bought a six hundred thousand dollar TV controlled by voice, it was pretty simple to use it after that. That was when I found out that we weren’t the only ones to change. (thank god) If fact, it was so serious that the president was calling for an emergency meeting at the U.N. (Unfortunately, some of the officials had also turned into ponies. True story.) I watched the meeting for a good twenty minutes until it turned into another political bloodbath, with everyone blaming the other for some “biological weapon usage”. Well, that was all that they showed before the camera got hit by a brick and destroyed the screen. (Yes, THE SCREEN. You should see what happens when we watch football. Not that I like football anyway.) ~~~~~~ ~Monday Apparently, mom went to stay in a hotel on Saturday before finally calming down and returning home. Easy for her since she wasn’t the one to get transformed into a pony. Andrea was still trying to get over the fact that she was naked and finger-less, so it wasn’t a surprise when a blanket tried to communicate with me in the morning. “Hey John, nice mane.” The blanket said to me. “Oh hi Lyra. How’s the blanket? Are you going to eat it for breakfast?” I asked jokingly. It seems that calling Andrea Lyra pissed her off. (You should see her face when she’s angry. It’s cu- ah never mind) Well, that did the trick. After releasing a loud growl, the blanket vaporized in a brilliant flash of yellow light. “I’m NOT LYRA!” she screamed, encasing me with her magic and levitating me downstairs. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I replied, in between laughs. "What are you going to do? Throw me downstairs? Or dunk me into a pail of water? I'm not scared of that!" To my disappointment, she did neither. Instead, she grabbed a bottle of Cola from the refrigerator and dumped the contents onto me. Credit where it's due, that was evil since fur and feathers sucks up liquids like a sponge. "You like that?" she asked me, her eyes gleaming in satisfaction. "Curses." I muttered as I headed to the bathroom to wash up. Note to self: Get back at her someday. I thought. ~~~~~ After breakfast though, we had a nasty surprise. Mom told us that since it was almost summer vacation, whether we were ponies or not, we still had to go to school. Of course, we tried arguing with her that we can’t. “But we can’t even hold a spoon with hooves! How do you want us to write?” Andrea protested. “Well Andrea, use your teeth!” she snorted, rolling her eyes as if it was the most obvious answer ever. God. Who does she think we are? Applejack? We can’t write crap with teeth! I thought. In the end, after fifteen minutes of pointless arguing, we had to give up. (I should have honestly read up on Sun Tzu.) Reluctantly, we got into the family car. Andrea managed to sit like a human and while I could too, my wings were poking into my back, making it extremely uncomfortable. Dammed seat. Why am I even in the car anyway? I thought unhappily, examining one of my feathers. Also, why do they trap so much heat anyway? I mean, sure it's cold in the sky but having to flap my wings every two minutes as to not get heatstroke is ridiculous. “Oh mom, I don’t think I can fit on the chair. Can I not go?” I pleaded, trying the last and usually-most (well, I think) effective weapon in a pony’s arsenal: puppy dog eyes. You know, eyes opened up wide and having my ears down. Just when I thought mom was going to cave in, she objected. “No. Sorry Andrea, but nothing can stop you from learning! How do you think you’re going to get a job if you don't?” “What? I’m not Andrea! I’m John! And mom, since I’m a Pegasus, I think I can manage by jumping on clouds.” I shot back. "Or become a hobo. And live in a drain or something." SUPER SECRET NOTE: Yeah, the hobo thing was random. So is the problem with wings. ………………………………………………………………………… So, we argued for the whole trip about school. It was good entertainment, but it failed to take away the thought of what the other people in school are going to think about it. “We’re here!” mom declared, shoving us out of the car and dumping our bags outside before speeding away, leaving a trail of dust behind her. "Darn it. She didn't even bother to throw it inside the gates." Andrea complained. "Well, you're a Unicorn, use your magic!" I said, stepping into the school. IT IS HELL Ponies don't go well with: Biology with a crazy teacher (Well, sort of, since I wasn't paying attention)ver: 1.0 “Hey look fellas! Talking ponies!” an extremely familiar, yet dreaded voice called out from the crowd, making me flinch, since it belonged to this guy who always picked on me. Basically, it’s kind of embarrassing since I’m taller than him and he’s actually weaker than me. Only reason that I couldn’t beat him up was that his mother was my Maths teacher, so the last time I did that, I got Mount Homework as punishment (Believe me, it was a hundred page paper that I had to do. Dewey decimal or something.) Another reason that I didn’t want to punch him in the face was that I couldn’t find it. He looked like he fell off and broke every branch of the ugly family tree. Literally though, he reminded me of the Voldemort guy from Harry Potter. I just can’t get the thought of giving him ahem-reconstructive surgery whenever I see him. Anyway, Voldemort (actually, his real name was Dingo .k Go* and he’s not Asian) and his bunch of gang members started surrounding us. “Who talking horse be?” he asked, in his primitive command of English/Equestrian. “I’m Andr-” my sister started to reply before I shut her off with a free hoof. “Let me handle them Andrea. These guys aren’t going to be nice to us. Me in particular” I explained to her before speaking to cave man. “Green pony is Sarah. Blue talk one is Aqua. Dummkpof.” Cave guy seemed pretty happy upon hearing this and let us off. I let out a sigh of relief after seeing cave man lumbering off to find the human me to bully. In the meantime though, Biology was going to start. “Gah! Just our luck, this week’s on equines. Well, god help us.” Andrea muttered, checking her schedule. You see, our science teacher’s a spook. Last week when we were dissecting frogs, he was literally bathing in the blood shouting “ausgezeichnet” or something. What a spook. Oh and to those who are sharp enough, yes, he’s German. I heard from one of the teachers that he lost his medical license from an operation gone bad. (More on that next time) Anyway, before we could EVEN get to class, we had to cover about five hundred meters of hallway and judging by the number of eyes trained on us, it was going to be pretty tough. It turned out to be true since almost all the girls in the compound tried to hug Andrea. Reason being that I had one advantage: height. So there she was, being hugged and cuddled while I hovered above her, laughing. Remember this: She started it by pouring Coke down my mane. Still though, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. You see, Andrea’s actually pretty shy to anyone not living in our house, even to our Grandma. At this rate, she was going to have an emotional breakdown in ten seconds flat. In the end, I had to carry her over to the Biology classroom since she decided to curl into a ball and not move. “Thanks John.” She finally managed to say upon entering the classroom. Luckily, we were early for class, which meant that we were the only living beings in the room. “Here’s a few options before class starts. One, we knock the teacher unconscious. Two, you teleport us out of here. Three, we suck it up, which will most probably end with Mr. Crazy embarrassing the crap outta us.” Proceeding to dump my bag into my usual seat all the way back at the classroom surprisingly well-furnished, I continued “so, pick an option eit-” Too late. The biology teacher had entered the room. His real name was Steff or something. So anyway, Mr. Steff had with him some kind of heart along with a gun of some sort and a plug-like thingy with three indicators that looked like it came popped out from Team Fortress 2. Upon seeing us though, he immediately dropped whatever he was holding and literally glided towards us. “Ooh! Vat a vounderful surprise!” he exclaimed, pushing up his spectacles and rubbing his hands together in glee. “Zi- this is great! The school has finally provided me with living specimens! Only that you are too short and that you lot are multicolored. But never mind that.” A couple of students started streaming into the room. “Well, at least today’s going to be interesting.” I muttered to Andrea. Honestly though, I was pretty worried that he was going to murder us in this crap-classroom. I mean, graveyards are way better. The colors here don’t match with the chairs and the teacher’s desk doesn’t look really comfortable as of now. Death vows aside, being killed while I was in another body just seemed…weird. So, anyway judging by the rather beat-up clock on the celling, class was going to start in Five minutes. Four minutes… Three minutes… At around two minutes, Mr. Steff’s mobile phone started ringing, which made him leave the room for a while. Just as the minute hand hit 8, he came back in, looking rather disappointed. “You have been spared for now. Ponies.” He said to us. Tanking that as a sign for us to scram, we dived back into our seats immediately. ~30 minutes later… “When equines go into heat, they will have a tremendous urge to…how do I say it? Ah yes. Reproduce.” Steff then proceeded to drone on and on about their reproductive systems and heat cycles, all the time looking at us with an evil smile. I did my best to keep my face straight, but my wings were a dead giveaway. You know, like in the show when Rainbow Dash gets embarrassed or something, her wings always unfurl? Well, that’s what happened to me. ‘Baiser mes ailes’ I thought, burying my head into a rather thick textbook. Andrea was doing almost the same thing, except that she was trying to disappear into thin air. That gave the teacher his ‘motivation’ and he started talking even more about mares, all the time looking at us. Thankfully, no one was really paying any attention towards him-they were too busy looking at us. Can’t blame them though. If two multi-coloured, ponies came to your classroom to study, you would probably be reacting in the same way as them, which in that case, screw you. At that moment, a paper ball landed on my desk. Or, to be more exact, it appeared out of thin air. Shrugging, I unfolded it, expecting it to be some kind of message insulting me or my sister. Instead, here’s what it said: Hello, my pony friends! Greetings from the master of chaos! Hopefully all of you are enjoying my master scheme to (this part was black out for some reason. I’ll find you and your friends during your miserable break-time to well, reveal it to you all! Sincerely, D P.S: This message shall turn into bacon after you have read it. “What the heck?” I shouted as the paper exploded into bacon bits. Thankfully, it wasn’t oily or smelly so I didn’t care. Pretending as if nothing had happened, I started to fantasize drowning Mr. Steff in a pool of water, since it was the only thing that I could come up with to pass the time. Looking at the clock, I whispered to Andrea, trying to sound happy about it “Only twenty minutes to go!” He who rules Chaos? Break time... that was going to start in thirty minutes or so. Still, I couldn't help but think about the impossibility of Discord even having a minor presence in this world. Doing the math, one can see why it's not possible: there's like...about a few thousand Bronies worldwide? How was Discord going to even disguise himself? Don't get me wrong though. Since Discord was like-the god of Chaos, I don't know. Maybe he disguised himself as window-pane or something, like what he did in Season Two. Or he threw part of his spirit into a glass of chocolate milk and possessed a being when it drank from the Milk. God, my thoughts are killing me. I thought to myself, while chewing on my mane in boredom. Andrea upon seeing this, forced me to spit it out, saying that doing so would give my mane split-ends. "The heck with that." I shot back. "We're stuck in school as ponies, constantly being tormented by jerks and you're bossing me on mane-care?" Andrea rolled her eyes in response. Just exactly after that, as if god was trying to prove that he existed, the teacher decided to torment me with a near impossible question. "You! Blue Pegasus! Since you're not paying attention, I assume that you know everything. So answer me: How can you summarize Shakespeare in a sentence or less?" she asked, with a smug look on her face. 'Oh, two can play that game pal. I thought, the answer instantly coming to me. "I can do it in one" I replied, not really caring that my wings were fully spread out while I answered. Sure, it made me look more smug but heck? I already beat her. "Oh, then do share your...interesting answer with us." "DEAD!" I replied, hovering out of the room as the bell rang. Now, where could Discord be? ~~~ IF YOU'RE SEEING THIS, CONGRATS. I HAVE FOUND A WAY TO BREAK THE FOURTH WALL. HOW IS YOUR DAY THEN? NO WAIT, DON'T ANSWER THAT. ANYWAY, DISCORD IS WEIRD. I MEAN, HAVE YOU READ FIVE-SCORE? I THINK THAT'S WHAT HAPPENING TO US NOW. IDEAS? HELLO? "Oui! Discord! Big goat head guy!" I shouted into the indoor basketball court, eliciting no response. Not a big surprise since everything was in its normal, depressing state. Giving up, I turned to Andrea to answers. "So..suggestions?" My mint-green Unicorn shook her head in response. "No" My mint-green Unicorn sister replied. "Hey, since you're an Unicorn and stuff, do some magic thingy and summon him." I suggested out of boredom, massaging my wings since I had nothing to do. Using them too frequently seemed to strain them for some reason. "I can barely do telekinesis and now you want me to do spells? Impossible!" she whined, glaring at me. "Go to the field. Maybe he's there." Dummkopf. I thought, opening the doors leading into the field. That was the last place we decided to check since most of the ahem-Humans would be there. ------------------------------------------------- "John...why is everyone so silent?" Andrea asked me. However, by this time I wasn't really paying attention to her. Everyone's a statue! I thought, standing on Voldermort's head. Well, that's GREAT! We can escape from this place! Well, not we, since Andrea's a unicorn. Pity she can't fly or something. "Andrea, everyone's in some sort of stasis as far as I know. They're breathing, just not conscious-oh, and somehow still managing to stand still." I finally replied. "Odd. I wonder who coul-" she never got to complete her sentence, since something vaporized-no wait. Appeared into the field with some bright light accompanying it. "Hello my friends! welcome, to your insanity!" A rather insane sounding voice greeted us. "-Discord" I completed her sentence. "But of course it's me!" the god said, running a finger down my neck. "I see you and your sister are getting acquainted to your new bodies no?" He asked, changing the landscape with a snap of his fingers. At first, I couldn't figure out where we were-plants flying everywhere, chocolate rain and popcorn plants. After some examination however, I realized that we were in Ponyville-the chaos version. "So, I see you've been reading Fanfics? Because this seems alot like Five Score!" I replied, trying to resist the urge to laugh at him. Ha! Discord reading Fanfictions! What's next? Him having Ditzy Doo as a Daughter? "Oh, and we're going fine with our new bodies. Just that it's you that's not fine." "Ah! That's where you-my little pony are wrong. Five Score isn't really fiction. Oh, no! It's fact! Just that all of you forgot about it. Well, not really. Ever since you all defeated me, I've been sitting in a stone prison inside another stone prison for another five years. Then I've gotten an idea. Why not, I thought, split the pony into two fragments? Keep one in Equestria and keep another back on Earth? The two different fragments can't interact with each other, leaving both confused and with no clue! So that's what I did! Clever ain't it?" he said, donning a pair of sunglasses. "Thanks to my brilliant thinking, and Celly's foolishness, my plan has succeeded! Equestria!-The chaos centre of the universe! Sounds grand doesn't it?" "YOU IMBECIL!" I shouted, lunging at him. But, the god simply teleported away, grabbing me by the scruff of my neck. "Tsh Miss Splash! Don't get into a fit! Earth's next in my plan! And you and your human friends can't do anything about it!" Discord chided, before disappearing, along with the vision of Equestria. Andrea, who had remained silent for most of the conversation, finally spoken up. "Now what?" she asked. "Now? Let's go save some worlds." AUTHOR:Well, stick around for more secret crap that I placed for fun./// Aqua is mad, that's not bad. My poem's oh so horrible, but that's not terrible. Oh that Discord, he strikes a chord, My keyboard will defeat that crazy diety. //optional// CEDA UDL:15-115.00(Skippable chapter!)Civil Emergencies and Disasters Agency UDL:15-115.00 NOTE TO ALL PERSONNEL GOING THROUGH THIS LOG: THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION BELOW IS NOT TO BE RELEASED TO PUBLIC UNLESS AUTHORIZED. To all research personnel: Included in this UDL (Unknown Disease/Disaster Log) are attachments 1a, 1b, 1c and 2c. If any logs are found missing, please, REPORT IT TO YOUR HEAD OF SECURITY. 12-6-20!> STATION LOGGED ON: 100-55-DC Where do I begin anyway? The ponies seem like a good idea. In fact, that's what I was supposed to type this log on anyway. Well, it happened like yesterday I think. Couple of my guys were affected by it too somehow. Rumor has it that this is some of the 'Green Flu' crap again. Heard that some of the big brass discussing about containing the affected individuals in AqwD|0(A-12/????!some disease management center in Asia. Personally, I think this is no big deal. I mean, it's not like they're going to ahem-kill us is it? As long as it's not contagious, I'm not worried about it. //End// 23-6-20)@(1 STATION LOGGED ON: D.E.D TRAILER:293 Charlie Last known GPS location: IWA,US It seems like whatever the heck is causing this is spreading. UN reported that it seems like about 2-3% of the population worldwide has been affected. At this rate, I would rethink my conclusion about this being no big deal. If it keeps on climbing, more than 10% of the world would be affected by the end of Summer. One thing to note is, as I have included with attachment 1a: is that the Equines involved seem to be of extra-terrestrial origin. Whether as to if this is a result of Aliens or Genetics is yet to be confirmed. //End// CEDA TERMINAL-11-DMCC TRANSMISSION TYPE: 405/Assistance required W-warnigna1 Terminallqp1 is beomf aled nybq unjkown aentioiqy/viiRRUsha. aAAtempting qencybaj shu tdadon sqweunce... Hello my friends! It is I, your soon-to be supreme leader. In case that you don't know, I have managed to HACK into one of your 'secure' terminals using nothing but some paperclips, bacon and a battery. Anyway, as I was saying, CONGRATULATIONS! Your pitiful planet is about to be transformed, very soon into the chaos center of the Universe! (Except Equestria maybe) Maybe you think your little...tanks was it? Can stop me. Maybe I guess... But, since you have no-idea who I am, I won't be worried about facing imminent defeat or something. In fact, I'm looking forward to seeing what your planet can throw at me. Until later, Adios! -D Continue sequence? [Y/N] KEYSTROKE:Y Shutting down...... //END// S.N,A.F.U (1)Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.S.N,A.F.U (Part 2)Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.Chapter 8Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.
Wait... I'm a horse?Saturday (EDITED!) V1.5 The sun shone through the window, waking me from my ever-so pleasant sleep. Groaning, I buried my head into the pillow, trying to go to sleep again. Unfortunately, it didn't want to give up, so after ten minutes or so fighting the sunlight, I finally decided to get up. Now usually, waking up and getting out of bed was pretty trivial-you know, throw off the blanket, start mumbling about the weather but today, for whatever reason, I couldn’t even grab my blanket. It was like as if someone had severed off my hand and gave me a doze of painkiller, hoping that I won't realize it. “Gah! What the crap!” I asked no-one in frustration, only to notice that for some reason, my voice sounded off tone. To give you an idea how off it was, it sounded like someone had changed the pitch to high and made it sound like a girl's...oh, and squeakier. Or did I accidently take a lot “Qwerty! Errm… hello? Is the world still sane?” Nope, it’s still a girl’s voice. Another thing I realized was that MY HANDS WERE GONE. Instead, in their place were hooves, covered in light blue fur. Being a brony, my reaction was mixed. So I was happy that Five Score might be true, and I could leave this bloody planet and go to the land of Equestria and live happily ever after with other ponies. However, the (small) part of me that wanted to remain as human reasoned with me, saying that either I ate something bad or I'm simply dreaming. Besides, hooves meant no more Counter-Strike, Half Life or Halo! Shrugging that thought away, I decided to focus on the next task ahead-getting up and away from bed. Getting away from bed was easy, I just rolled around until I could shake the blankets loose. While doing so however, I could feel something furry attached to my back that felt like a pair of wings or something. Landing on the floor rather painfully, I winced and allowed myself a couple of minutes to rest and plan ahead. It took me a couple of minutes just to stand up, since a ponies’ centre of gravity is different from a human. Ever tried walking on four limbs? It's something like that, only that your arms and legs wanted to keep on wobbling. So walking was out of the question, unless I wanted to keep on tripping up and falling face-first into the floor. Annoyed by my temporary disability, I finally gave up and resorted to dragging myself around my room with what used to be my hands. Believe it or not, even that was hard! As any person after an operation, I wanted to see how I looked. So, hoof by hoof, I dragged myself to a rather girly mirror that my sister, Andrea had never wanted and dumped into my room. If you're wondering how girly, it was pink with random girly characters on it. (Although I had scraped them off and painted ponies on it instead.) Standing up in front of the mirror that I had never bothered to clean, I managed to get a good look at myself, and I found out that I had really had changed into a Pegasus pony. To be more exact, my OC from my Crap-fic, Aquasplash. For those of you who don’t want to read it or haven't since I deleted it, she’s light-ish cyan blue, with a dark blue mane and a stripe light-blue running through it. Her (or my) irises were green and her cutie mark’s three clouds. (Never thought of explaining why though.) Also, I could flap my wings and fold them in, which was far more easier than trying to walk. When I had finally gotten the hang of walking on all fours-that took me like about half an hour, I debated with myself on whether to check on Andrea. She wasn’t a pegasister or whatever term that was, so I guessed (correctly) that she wasn’t going to buy the fact that her brother had somehow magically turned into a mare overnight. In the end, I decided that the best course of action for now was to sit tight and pray that it was a dream that I was living in. ~~~ About an hour and a book later, I heard what sounded like movement in her room, followed by a loud scream that didn’t belong to my sister. I swear to god, if I find another girl in her room, I’m going to shoot myself in the face.I muttered. That was when I was faced by another challenge: the doorknob was too high. You see, it turned out that a pony was shorter than the average human being, reaching only about a meter in height. Sitting down on the floor, I started thinking for a solution. After eliminating the possibility of kicking the door down, I came to only one feasible conclusion: I had to stand on my hind legs to get to it, since I have yet to master flying. Another problem was that the doorknob was round, which made it hard for hooves to grasp. I compromised by using my mouth instead to grab it, twist it and pull the door open. Note to self: Get a unicorn to open doors when possible. Doorknobs taste like crap. Repeating the same process again for my sister’s door, I carefully made my way into her room. It was probably full of what you expected from a teenage girl. A dressing table, heaps of clothes in the cupboard, a crate of nail polish and some other stuff that I don’t recognize and don’t want to know. In the middle of the room was her bed and in the blankets, I could make out the shape of something. “Andrea? Are you there?” I addressed the mysterious object. “NO! I am not in the room! Go away!” came the same voice I heard just now. Rolling my eyes, I headed towards the bed, careful not to trip over her stuff and fall. Grabbing hold of the blanket with my teeth, I gave it a pull, yanking the sheet of cotton off the bed, revealing the mysterious talking object. What greeted my eyes made my jaw drop. It was (I guess) my sister, also changed into a pony-a lime-green unicorn, otherwise known as Lyra Heartstrings. Funny thing was that my sister never did like instruments. “AHH! PERVERT!” she wailed, diving into the cupboard full of clothes. I guess that being a pony somehow stressed her out. “Andrea! Chill! It’s me, Jake!” I blurted. I realized saying that I was her brother was a bad idea since she started hurling hangers at me. “GET. OUT. PERV!” she screamed, and a hanger hit a glass of water on her dressing table tipping it over and making the liquid that was inside to drip onto her favourite handbag. (Not that she was going to use it anytime soon anyway.) “Why? I’m also a pony.” I retorted, dodging a spiky bracelet thing. "And I'm also a girl now. So please stop?" I reasoned with her. “Because I’m naked!” She replied, finally running out of clothing hangers and resorting to clothes and pillows. Well, that explains a lot. I thought to myself before making my hasty escape from the her seemingly infinite supply of stuff to throw at me. Now would be a good time to leave her alone. I decided as I slammed her bedroom door shut. Looking at a conveniently placed clock, it was already 10 a.m. so I decided to make myself breakfast. The problem was, to reach the kitchen, one had to go down a flight of stairs-and judging by my basic motor skills so far, I wasn’t really confident that I could reach the bottom of the flight of stairs without getting seriously injured. Since I also couldn’t slide down the railing due to my tail, now seemed like a good time to try out flying. Spreading my wings, I tried to recall all those science lessons they had in school on birds, only to come up blank. Shaking my head in frustration, I gave up and decided to make it up as I went. Running to gain some momentum, I jumped off the platform. It went pretty smoothly, until halfway through I realized that I was going to crash into the wall unless I figured out a way to hover. Panicking, I started to lose control and not surprisingly, I crashed face-first onto the ground. Groaning in pain, I made the last few-shaky-steps into the kitchen. ~~~ Making Bacon didn’t seem like a good idea since as far as I knew, ponies are vegetarians. In fact, a potted Fern on one of the windowsills suddenly started to look extremely appealing. Throwing away the thought of eating it away, I started rummaging through the fridge, only to find out to my disdain, there were next to no greens in it. Only some carrots and something that looked like leaves was present. “Oh well, guess I’ll have to try.” I mumbled, tearing apart the packing of leaves with my teeth. Since my mom keeps the dishes in shelves that were above the counter, I ate directly from the packet, chugging the contents down. To my surprise, they tasted sweet and crunchy. I guess that being a pony meant that my sense of taste had improved drastically. I must have wolfed down half the packet before realizing that Andrea needed to eat too. Abandoning the packet of leaves, I proceeded to prepare the carrots. I found a pail of water that happened conveniently lying around, probably rain water or something, judging that the water was pretty clear. Dunking the plants in and letting it soak for a while, I munched on them, finding them a bit too sweet for my liking. ~~~ Just as I was settling down on living room couch to think on what to say to our parents, my Mom suddenly appeared, holding a Taser. How in the world did she get here? I wondered. The next thing she did was pretty shocking too. “Get out horse!” she snarled, pulling the trigger. Youtube Video I managed to doge the two arcs of electricity before they managed to make contact with me. “No no no no! Mom! I’m John! Your son!” I protested, jumping onto a shelf like a cat. Fact:Did you know my mom wasn’t an animal person? Think of her as an animal terrorist. Instead of going ‘Oh no, you can’t be my son or something’, she became madder. Seems like sentient ponies that know how to talk pissed her off even more. Pulling out a fire axe out of nowhere, she started hacking the cupboard. “GRAH!!!!” she shouted as I made a beeline upstairs, somehow managing to figure out how to use my wings and fly. That was when Andrea finally decided to suck it up and go out. I crashed into her and just as she began to insult me, Mom came up, still brandishing the axe. “What’s going on?” Andrea asked, her eyes widening. “TANK!!!” I shouted. It the first word that appeared in my mind. And after all, Mom did seem like one now. Shoving her back into her room, I slammed the door shut. In my adrenaline-fuelled panic, I threw everything I could at the door, hoping to block Mom outside. You know, cupboards, clothes and the odd table. “The Faq?” Andrea/Lyra said, looking at me. “No time to explain Lyra! Mom’s mad!” I wailed, crawling under her bed. “My name’s not Lyra.” She pointed out, still not getting the fact that we were possibly in peril. Ignoring her protests, I grabbed her hoof and pulled her under with me, while Mom was stuck outside, hacking the door away with the axe. ~~~~ Mom must have made a huge racket with whatever she was doing since we heard Dad shouting at her a couple of minutes later for waking him up and trashing the house. After awhile later, it seemed that Dad had managed to calm her down and a immediately after that, Dad started knocking on what was left of the door. “Come out kids! I know you’re there!” He cooed. It was pretty reassuring to hear his voice. Seeing that Andrea was already moving some of the things that I had used to block the door, I decided it was safe enough and began helping her. “Dad. Do you promise not to freak out when we come out?” I asked while clearing away the blockade. I did not want Dad to go berserk just like what Mom did. Even though he was sane, a lack of coffee could do strange things to him. Besides, running on fours was more tiring than I thought, and my wings ached like hell from their first ever usage. “Yes.” He responded, with a hint of annoyance. Well then, here goes nothing I thought as we shoved away the last piece of junk. Crawling under the trashed doorframe, we greeted him with a sheepish smile. "Hi Dad." That was when he promptly fainted and fell onto the floor.
Nameless chapterA bit of a bridge (as to avoid potential plot-holes) //EDITED! A.N: I kinda ran into a writer’s block here, so forgive the lack of content. And yes, I didn't do much here. ~~~~~~ “Ahh Great. Dad's passed out and mom’s gone coco. What do we do now?” Andrea wailed, curling up into a ball while looking at dad’s limp (yet alive) body. “Now? Firstly, you need to eat. It’s almost twelve in the afternoon. Then while you’re doing that, I’m going to see if it’s only us or if there’s other people involved.” I replied, taking a peek out of the door. “Hopefully, mom had calmed down when we went downstairs. If not, god helps us.” I said. Taking a cautious step outside, it seemed that the coast was clear. The fire axe that Mom had tried to murder me with was broken into half, lying on the floor. It seems that Mom had went somewhere outside, judging from the fact that the family car was missing. Good. Hopefully, she got drunk enough to like us I mused to myself. Too bad that can't be true. Switching on the T.V was pretty darn hard since the buttons were (obviously) designed for fingers instead of hooves, meaning that hooves were just too big to push a single one. No matter how hard I tried, it just won't detect my command. “Stupid thing! Burn in hell!” I cursed at it-and with that, I kicked the remote away, resulting in it being smashed into the wall and emitting a pitiful cracking sound. Miraculously though, that did the trick and finally turned the blasted thing on. Since dad bought a six hundred thousand dollar TV controlled by voice, it was pretty simple to use it after that. That was when I found out that we weren’t the only ones to change. (thank god) If fact, it was so serious that the president was calling for an emergency meeting at the U.N. (Unfortunately, some of the officials had also turned into ponies. True story.) I watched the meeting for a good twenty minutes until it turned into another political bloodbath, with everyone blaming the other for some “biological weapon usage”. Well, that was all that they showed before the camera got hit by a brick and destroyed the screen. (Yes, THE SCREEN. You should see what happens when we watch football. Not that I like football anyway.) ~~~~~~ ~Monday Apparently, mom went to stay in a hotel on Saturday before finally calming down and returning home. Easy for her since she wasn’t the one to get transformed into a pony. Andrea was still trying to get over the fact that she was naked and finger-less, so it wasn’t a surprise when a blanket tried to communicate with me in the morning. “Hey John, nice mane.” The blanket said to me. “Oh hi Lyra. How’s the blanket? Are you going to eat it for breakfast?” I asked jokingly. It seems that calling Andrea Lyra pissed her off. (You should see her face when she’s angry. It’s cu- ah never mind) Well, that did the trick. After releasing a loud growl, the blanket vaporized in a brilliant flash of yellow light. “I’m NOT LYRA!” she screamed, encasing me with her magic and levitating me downstairs. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I replied, in between laughs. "What are you going to do? Throw me downstairs? Or dunk me into a pail of water? I'm not scared of that!" To my disappointment, she did neither. Instead, she grabbed a bottle of Cola from the refrigerator and dumped the contents onto me. Credit where it's due, that was evil since fur and feathers sucks up liquids like a sponge. "You like that?" she asked me, her eyes gleaming in satisfaction. "Curses." I muttered as I headed to the bathroom to wash up. Note to self: Get back at her someday. I thought. ~~~~~ After breakfast though, we had a nasty surprise. Mom told us that since it was almost summer vacation, whether we were ponies or not, we still had to go to school. Of course, we tried arguing with her that we can’t. “But we can’t even hold a spoon with hooves! How do you want us to write?” Andrea protested. “Well Andrea, use your teeth!” she snorted, rolling her eyes as if it was the most obvious answer ever. God. Who does she think we are? Applejack? We can’t write crap with teeth! I thought. In the end, after fifteen minutes of pointless arguing, we had to give up. (I should have honestly read up on Sun Tzu.) Reluctantly, we got into the family car. Andrea managed to sit like a human and while I could too, my wings were poking into my back, making it extremely uncomfortable. Dammed seat. Why am I even in the car anyway? I thought unhappily, examining one of my feathers. Also, why do they trap so much heat anyway? I mean, sure it's cold in the sky but having to flap my wings every two minutes as to not get heatstroke is ridiculous. “Oh mom, I don’t think I can fit on the chair. Can I not go?” I pleaded, trying the last and usually-most (well, I think) effective weapon in a pony’s arsenal: puppy dog eyes. You know, eyes opened up wide and having my ears down. Just when I thought mom was going to cave in, she objected. “No. Sorry Andrea, but nothing can stop you from learning! How do you think you’re going to get a job if you don't?” “What? I’m not Andrea! I’m John! And mom, since I’m a Pegasus, I think I can manage by jumping on clouds.” I shot back. "Or become a hobo. And live in a drain or something." SUPER SECRET NOTE: Yeah, the hobo thing was random. So is the problem with wings. ………………………………………………………………………… So, we argued for the whole trip about school. It was good entertainment, but it failed to take away the thought of what the other people in school are going to think about it. “We’re here!” mom declared, shoving us out of the car and dumping our bags outside before speeding away, leaving a trail of dust behind her. "Darn it. She didn't even bother to throw it inside the gates." Andrea complained. "Well, you're a Unicorn, use your magic!" I said, stepping into the school. IT IS HELL
Ponies don't go well with: Biology with a crazy teacher (Well, sort of, since I wasn't paying attention)ver: 1.0 “Hey look fellas! Talking ponies!” an extremely familiar, yet dreaded voice called out from the crowd, making me flinch, since it belonged to this guy who always picked on me. Basically, it’s kind of embarrassing since I’m taller than him and he’s actually weaker than me. Only reason that I couldn’t beat him up was that his mother was my Maths teacher, so the last time I did that, I got Mount Homework as punishment (Believe me, it was a hundred page paper that I had to do. Dewey decimal or something.) Another reason that I didn’t want to punch him in the face was that I couldn’t find it. He looked like he fell off and broke every branch of the ugly family tree. Literally though, he reminded me of the Voldemort guy from Harry Potter. I just can’t get the thought of giving him ahem-reconstructive surgery whenever I see him. Anyway, Voldemort (actually, his real name was Dingo .k Go* and he’s not Asian) and his bunch of gang members started surrounding us. “Who talking horse be?” he asked, in his primitive command of English/Equestrian. “I’m Andr-” my sister started to reply before I shut her off with a free hoof. “Let me handle them Andrea. These guys aren’t going to be nice to us. Me in particular” I explained to her before speaking to cave man. “Green pony is Sarah. Blue talk one is Aqua. Dummkpof.” Cave guy seemed pretty happy upon hearing this and let us off. I let out a sigh of relief after seeing cave man lumbering off to find the human me to bully. In the meantime though, Biology was going to start. “Gah! Just our luck, this week’s on equines. Well, god help us.” Andrea muttered, checking her schedule. You see, our science teacher’s a spook. Last week when we were dissecting frogs, he was literally bathing in the blood shouting “ausgezeichnet” or something. What a spook. Oh and to those who are sharp enough, yes, he’s German. I heard from one of the teachers that he lost his medical license from an operation gone bad. (More on that next time) Anyway, before we could EVEN get to class, we had to cover about five hundred meters of hallway and judging by the number of eyes trained on us, it was going to be pretty tough. It turned out to be true since almost all the girls in the compound tried to hug Andrea. Reason being that I had one advantage: height. So there she was, being hugged and cuddled while I hovered above her, laughing. Remember this: She started it by pouring Coke down my mane. Still though, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. You see, Andrea’s actually pretty shy to anyone not living in our house, even to our Grandma. At this rate, she was going to have an emotional breakdown in ten seconds flat. In the end, I had to carry her over to the Biology classroom since she decided to curl into a ball and not move. “Thanks John.” She finally managed to say upon entering the classroom. Luckily, we were early for class, which meant that we were the only living beings in the room. “Here’s a few options before class starts. One, we knock the teacher unconscious. Two, you teleport us out of here. Three, we suck it up, which will most probably end with Mr. Crazy embarrassing the crap outta us.” Proceeding to dump my bag into my usual seat all the way back at the classroom surprisingly well-furnished, I continued “so, pick an option eit-” Too late. The biology teacher had entered the room. His real name was Steff or something. So anyway, Mr. Steff had with him some kind of heart along with a gun of some sort and a plug-like thingy with three indicators that looked like it came popped out from Team Fortress 2. Upon seeing us though, he immediately dropped whatever he was holding and literally glided towards us. “Ooh! Vat a vounderful surprise!” he exclaimed, pushing up his spectacles and rubbing his hands together in glee. “Zi- this is great! The school has finally provided me with living specimens! Only that you are too short and that you lot are multicolored. But never mind that.” A couple of students started streaming into the room. “Well, at least today’s going to be interesting.” I muttered to Andrea. Honestly though, I was pretty worried that he was going to murder us in this crap-classroom. I mean, graveyards are way better. The colors here don’t match with the chairs and the teacher’s desk doesn’t look really comfortable as of now. Death vows aside, being killed while I was in another body just seemed…weird. So, anyway judging by the rather beat-up clock on the celling, class was going to start in Five minutes. Four minutes… Three minutes… At around two minutes, Mr. Steff’s mobile phone started ringing, which made him leave the room for a while. Just as the minute hand hit 8, he came back in, looking rather disappointed. “You have been spared for now. Ponies.” He said to us. Tanking that as a sign for us to scram, we dived back into our seats immediately. ~30 minutes later… “When equines go into heat, they will have a tremendous urge to…how do I say it? Ah yes. Reproduce.” Steff then proceeded to drone on and on about their reproductive systems and heat cycles, all the time looking at us with an evil smile. I did my best to keep my face straight, but my wings were a dead giveaway. You know, like in the show when Rainbow Dash gets embarrassed or something, her wings always unfurl? Well, that’s what happened to me. ‘Baiser mes ailes’ I thought, burying my head into a rather thick textbook. Andrea was doing almost the same thing, except that she was trying to disappear into thin air. That gave the teacher his ‘motivation’ and he started talking even more about mares, all the time looking at us. Thankfully, no one was really paying any attention towards him-they were too busy looking at us. Can’t blame them though. If two multi-coloured, ponies came to your classroom to study, you would probably be reacting in the same way as them, which in that case, screw you. At that moment, a paper ball landed on my desk. Or, to be more exact, it appeared out of thin air. Shrugging, I unfolded it, expecting it to be some kind of message insulting me or my sister. Instead, here’s what it said: Hello, my pony friends! Greetings from the master of chaos! Hopefully all of you are enjoying my master scheme to (this part was black out for some reason. I’ll find you and your friends during your miserable break-time to well, reveal it to you all! Sincerely, D P.S: This message shall turn into bacon after you have read it. “What the heck?” I shouted as the paper exploded into bacon bits. Thankfully, it wasn’t oily or smelly so I didn’t care. Pretending as if nothing had happened, I started to fantasize drowning Mr. Steff in a pool of water, since it was the only thing that I could come up with to pass the time. Looking at the clock, I whispered to Andrea, trying to sound happy about it “Only twenty minutes to go!”
He who rules Chaos? Break time... that was going to start in thirty minutes or so. Still, I couldn't help but think about the impossibility of Discord even having a minor presence in this world. Doing the math, one can see why it's not possible: there's like...about a few thousand Bronies worldwide? How was Discord going to even disguise himself? Don't get me wrong though. Since Discord was like-the god of Chaos, I don't know. Maybe he disguised himself as window-pane or something, like what he did in Season Two. Or he threw part of his spirit into a glass of chocolate milk and possessed a being when it drank from the Milk. God, my thoughts are killing me. I thought to myself, while chewing on my mane in boredom. Andrea upon seeing this, forced me to spit it out, saying that doing so would give my mane split-ends. "The heck with that." I shot back. "We're stuck in school as ponies, constantly being tormented by jerks and you're bossing me on mane-care?" Andrea rolled her eyes in response. Just exactly after that, as if god was trying to prove that he existed, the teacher decided to torment me with a near impossible question. "You! Blue Pegasus! Since you're not paying attention, I assume that you know everything. So answer me: How can you summarize Shakespeare in a sentence or less?" she asked, with a smug look on her face. 'Oh, two can play that game pal. I thought, the answer instantly coming to me. "I can do it in one" I replied, not really caring that my wings were fully spread out while I answered. Sure, it made me look more smug but heck? I already beat her. "Oh, then do share your...interesting answer with us." "DEAD!" I replied, hovering out of the room as the bell rang. Now, where could Discord be? ~~~ IF YOU'RE SEEING THIS, CONGRATS. I HAVE FOUND A WAY TO BREAK THE FOURTH WALL. HOW IS YOUR DAY THEN? NO WAIT, DON'T ANSWER THAT. ANYWAY, DISCORD IS WEIRD. I MEAN, HAVE YOU READ FIVE-SCORE? I THINK THAT'S WHAT HAPPENING TO US NOW. IDEAS? HELLO? "Oui! Discord! Big goat head guy!" I shouted into the indoor basketball court, eliciting no response. Not a big surprise since everything was in its normal, depressing state. Giving up, I turned to Andrea to answers. "So..suggestions?" My mint-green Unicorn shook her head in response. "No" My mint-green Unicorn sister replied. "Hey, since you're an Unicorn and stuff, do some magic thingy and summon him." I suggested out of boredom, massaging my wings since I had nothing to do. Using them too frequently seemed to strain them for some reason. "I can barely do telekinesis and now you want me to do spells? Impossible!" she whined, glaring at me. "Go to the field. Maybe he's there." Dummkopf. I thought, opening the doors leading into the field. That was the last place we decided to check since most of the ahem-Humans would be there. ------------------------------------------------- "John...why is everyone so silent?" Andrea asked me. However, by this time I wasn't really paying attention to her. Everyone's a statue! I thought, standing on Voldermort's head. Well, that's GREAT! We can escape from this place! Well, not we, since Andrea's a unicorn. Pity she can't fly or something. "Andrea, everyone's in some sort of stasis as far as I know. They're breathing, just not conscious-oh, and somehow still managing to stand still." I finally replied. "Odd. I wonder who coul-" she never got to complete her sentence, since something vaporized-no wait. Appeared into the field with some bright light accompanying it. "Hello my friends! welcome, to your insanity!" A rather insane sounding voice greeted us. "-Discord" I completed her sentence. "But of course it's me!" the god said, running a finger down my neck. "I see you and your sister are getting acquainted to your new bodies no?" He asked, changing the landscape with a snap of his fingers. At first, I couldn't figure out where we were-plants flying everywhere, chocolate rain and popcorn plants. After some examination however, I realized that we were in Ponyville-the chaos version. "So, I see you've been reading Fanfics? Because this seems alot like Five Score!" I replied, trying to resist the urge to laugh at him. Ha! Discord reading Fanfictions! What's next? Him having Ditzy Doo as a Daughter? "Oh, and we're going fine with our new bodies. Just that it's you that's not fine." "Ah! That's where you-my little pony are wrong. Five Score isn't really fiction. Oh, no! It's fact! Just that all of you forgot about it. Well, not really. Ever since you all defeated me, I've been sitting in a stone prison inside another stone prison for another five years. Then I've gotten an idea. Why not, I thought, split the pony into two fragments? Keep one in Equestria and keep another back on Earth? The two different fragments can't interact with each other, leaving both confused and with no clue! So that's what I did! Clever ain't it?" he said, donning a pair of sunglasses. "Thanks to my brilliant thinking, and Celly's foolishness, my plan has succeeded! Equestria!-The chaos centre of the universe! Sounds grand doesn't it?" "YOU IMBECIL!" I shouted, lunging at him. But, the god simply teleported away, grabbing me by the scruff of my neck. "Tsh Miss Splash! Don't get into a fit! Earth's next in my plan! And you and your human friends can't do anything about it!" Discord chided, before disappearing, along with the vision of Equestria. Andrea, who had remained silent for most of the conversation, finally spoken up. "Now what?" she asked. "Now? Let's go save some worlds." AUTHOR:Well, stick around for more secret crap that I placed for fun./// Aqua is mad, that's not bad. My poem's oh so horrible, but that's not terrible. Oh that Discord, he strikes a chord, My keyboard will defeat that crazy diety.
//optional// CEDA UDL:15-115.00(Skippable chapter!)Civil Emergencies and Disasters Agency UDL:15-115.00 NOTE TO ALL PERSONNEL GOING THROUGH THIS LOG: THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION BELOW IS NOT TO BE RELEASED TO PUBLIC UNLESS AUTHORIZED. To all research personnel: Included in this UDL (Unknown Disease/Disaster Log) are attachments 1a, 1b, 1c and 2c. If any logs are found missing, please, REPORT IT TO YOUR HEAD OF SECURITY. 12-6-20!> STATION LOGGED ON: 100-55-DC Where do I begin anyway? The ponies seem like a good idea. In fact, that's what I was supposed to type this log on anyway. Well, it happened like yesterday I think. Couple of my guys were affected by it too somehow. Rumor has it that this is some of the 'Green Flu' crap again. Heard that some of the big brass discussing about containing the affected individuals in AqwD|0(A-12/????!some disease management center in Asia. Personally, I think this is no big deal. I mean, it's not like they're going to ahem-kill us is it? As long as it's not contagious, I'm not worried about it. //End// 23-6-20)@(1 STATION LOGGED ON: D.E.D TRAILER:293 Charlie Last known GPS location: IWA,US It seems like whatever the heck is causing this is spreading. UN reported that it seems like about 2-3% of the population worldwide has been affected. At this rate, I would rethink my conclusion about this being no big deal. If it keeps on climbing, more than 10% of the world would be affected by the end of Summer. One thing to note is, as I have included with attachment 1a: is that the Equines involved seem to be of extra-terrestrial origin. Whether as to if this is a result of Aliens or Genetics is yet to be confirmed. //End// CEDA TERMINAL-11-DMCC TRANSMISSION TYPE: 405/Assistance required W-warnigna1 Terminallqp1 is beomf aled nybq unjkown aentioiqy/viiRRUsha. aAAtempting qencybaj shu tdadon sqweunce... Hello my friends! It is I, your soon-to be supreme leader. In case that you don't know, I have managed to HACK into one of your 'secure' terminals using nothing but some paperclips, bacon and a battery. Anyway, as I was saying, CONGRATULATIONS! Your pitiful planet is about to be transformed, very soon into the chaos center of the Universe! (Except Equestria maybe) Maybe you think your little...tanks was it? Can stop me. Maybe I guess... But, since you have no-idea who I am, I won't be worried about facing imminent defeat or something. In fact, I'm looking forward to seeing what your planet can throw at me. Until later, Adios! -D Continue sequence? [Y/N] KEYSTROKE:Y Shutting down...... //END//
