Final Fantasy: It's Discord's Fault!

by B4ssxCello

Rating: teen
Tags: Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Princess Luna, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Main 6
Length: 3131

Discord finds an ancient scroll, what does it contain? What happens when its unsealed?

An Ancient scroll is uncovered deep beneath the catacombs of Canterlot Castle. The threat that is mentioned in it is very real. Who else finds it besides Discord? He tells the sisters about what he found, and they message the elements and the royal family of the crystal empire. Will this threat be stopped, or will the ancient demon king rule once again?

Published 2013-08-24 04:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-24 04:00:04 UTC

1: The Scroll, The god, and the ancient seal

Few know of the deepest recesses under Canterlot Castle, of what lies beyond the archives and catacombs. It is a place that was lost to time, a place that plays host to the Draconequus; Discord. It was thought to be the original part of the Canterlot library, where the most important and oldest documents in Equestria were kept.

Discord rifled through some old scrolls in a deep secluded cave. The dim light did not aid in dispelling the cast shadows from scattered lanterns around the vast area. Of course, he had piles of boxes of donuts from Pony Joe’s. Golden light danced around his talons as he brought scrolls forth from the dark cavern, hoping to find a story from his youth that he remembered quite fondly.

Discord lounged in a hammock, hung between two coat racks, which rocked him as he listened to the scrolls. The texts were rolled up on what appeared to be little duck feet, and told him their contents as he laid back in mid-air, drinking a glass of chocolate milk from a nearby cotton candy cloud.

“Where could it be?” Discord said exasperatedly. “I’ve been down here for almost a week going through each and every scroll, with only one even sounding interesting. This is so… so boring, why am I the only one who remembers this tale? Ok, monologue over, so who’s next on the list?”

A scroll hurriedly waddled up to Discord and responded in a scratchy voice, like two wadded sheets of parchment rubbing against one another, “That would be me, milord.”

“Alright, well what’s your story then?” Discord said nonchalantly. “Be quick about it, I am a very busy entity and have other scrolls to listen to, so hurry up and get on with it, or stop wasting my time.”

“Well, milord, I am not so much a story, but more of a chronicling of ancient history, dating back to before even your glorious reign, oh wise one.” The scroll crackled quietly as it continued to recite, “I shall tell you of a troubled time, an era of history that was doomed to repeat itself for eternity. A loop that repeated for millennia, it locked the world in two thousand years of constant strife; for innumerable cycles.” The scroll paused waiting to see if it would be sent away like so many others.

“Well, Steve the Scroll, was it? Finish telling me your story, it sounds delightful; do go on.” Discord spoke lazily as he refilled his glass with his favorite drink.

“Right, milord, let’s see... Two thousand years before I was written, the Demon King, Chaos, came to this world and brought forth the four fiends, one for each element.” Steve stated cautiously.

“Wait, four elements? What about the element of cheese? Or bacon?`” Discord looked at Steve with a grim expression, as grim as Discord got anyway.

“Don’t worry your chaoticness, it was before the element of bacon was found, and subsequently dropped from elemental status,” the scroll assured him. “Now, where was I? Ah, yes, the four elemental fiends: Lich, the Undead Sorcerer of Earth, Marilith, the Naga of Fire, Kraken, Beast of Water and Tiamat, Dragon of Air. Each one was stealing the essence of their element, gaining power.

“Four heroes stepped forth to defeat them and restore the crystals, which were the physical manifestations of the elements to their natural state. The demon, Chaos, had seen to that, he made sure that his host was sent back in time after the heroes first crossed his path.

“He made sure the cycle would continue. He did not have the foresight to realize that the loop could be disrupted. Once the heroes traveled back and defeated him one had the idea of writing a chronicle of their adventure, of the plight and pilgrimage they made to save the world.”

“That does ring a bell, is there anything else of importance on you, Scroll?” Discord focused his attention on the seal of the scroll. “Like why your seal has more than just archaic writing on it?”

“Well you see, I was created for the sole purpose of binding Chaos’ soul so that the past may be prevented from repeating again. Should my seal ever be broken, he will return thereby causing a new Dark Age to consume the land.” The scroll crinkled nervously, wondering if the magic that animated him would be enough to break the seal.

“Well then, perhaps I should’ve paid attention to the warning of that other scroll, the one that shouted at me, ‘Do not open the other scroll, it contains the spiritual essence of the demon Chaos, any magic that would make this information known will cause the seal to break; keep the scroll of the four heroes sealed under all circumstances.’ Oh,well, I guess we all make mistakes,” Discord said with a nonchalant wave of his paw. “I guess I should tell the Princesses; but then again Little Woona and Celly are known to message the Elements over the simplest of things.”

Discord thought on his way out of the catacombs. He then came up with a brilliant idea: To make some combs in the shape of a cat, and sell them at a store he was a regular at in the market square in Canterlot. He decided to name his invention the Catacomb. As he arrived in the main part of the library with a snap of his talon and a bright flash of light and a puff of smoke, he looked around and asked the guard on duty there, “Would you by any chance like a Catacomb, dear sir?”

The guard looked a bit worried, trying to back away from the mad god, and didn’t know how to respond, knowing Discord had something planned. “I guess I will take a Catacomb, Discord?”

“You certainly may, but be warned, they are more than they appear!” Discord chortled as he tossed the comb to the guard.

“Ah, my face!” the guard shouted. “I should’ve said no!”

Discord laughed loudly, snapped his talons, and was in the throne room, at the Twilight Court, where both royal sisters hold court together for a couple of hours each evening. “Oh, Celestia, dear!” he said as he entered the throne room, waving a couple of scrolls high above his head, “I’m afraid we may have a problem and I’m not sure if your precious little Elements are going to help.”

As soon as he appeared in the room, the nobles who were petitioning the royal sisters for more money, land, and general grievances backed off as he proudly danced his way up to the sisters. Out of fear of what the so-called reformed master of pranks and disharmony could still do the nobles turned and ran from the courtroom.

“Discord, I thought I told you not to call me that anymore. Also, what did you do?” Celestia asked with disdain, not wanting trouble right at the end of her day court, and the beginning of Luna’s night court.

“Well, Discord, prithee, pray tell what is the problem?” Luna asked with a yawn, slipping into Old Equestrian. “We need to be sure it’s nothing of serious importance; my night court is just beginning, and I would prefer to not be bothered by your antics.”

“Sister, Discord usually leaves the day court alone, does he bother you at night?” Celestia asked, looking a little worried.

“Me? Mess with the royalty of the night court? Hah, never!” Discord smirked at his own sarcasm, “Why, the very thought of it is just appalling to me. Now, for the reason I came here.” Discord poofed in a puff of smoke and appeared between the two princesses, wrapping his arms around them, “ I recently came upon a scroll, with a most uncharitable and bad omen on it, hang on let me find it.” Discord left off as he started digging through pockets in his fur, scales, and a couple in his horns.

The sisters looked at one another, confused they just looked at one another and did not interfere with the machinations of the deranged, mad god.

“Aha! Here it is,” Discord stated, triumphantly holding it in his paw. “One thousand and one ways to scare a child.”

The sisters looked at Discord, horror stricken, “Wait, that’s the wrong scroll, I meant to seal this one deeper in the catacombs,” Discord chuckled, shoving it back into a pocket that was located on one of his horns, “The one I meant to pull out was this one; The Four Heroes of Light, a scroll that was never to be reopened, or read after it was written. It sealed the soul of the demon king, Chaos, from thousands of years before my time even.”

“Discord, how can we tell this isn't just another prank of yours?” Celestia spoke in a calm voice, “This does not sound unusual from you Discord, you do not have the most sterling record with telling the truth. Also, this would not be the first time you’ve tried something like this.”

“Dearest Sister, surely you believe he is just joking?” Questioned the younger one, “Though, this does sound preposterous...even for him.”

“Fine, don’t listen to me, about how the demon king, Chaos, may have escaped from his prison,” The lazy draconequus mumbled. “I guess I’ll go and talk to the elements directly then, I shall take my leave now your majesties!” He bowed down to the princesses in a mocking manner. As he turned around, the scroll itself began to glow.

As the scroll glowed, It floated to the center of the chamber, and began to emanate a golden ring that began to glow. The ring increased in size until it filled half of the throne room. As the spinning ring slowed down it was clear to see that the ring was actually a very intricate magical seal written in ancient texts, each of the cardinal directions held a colored orb. Each one meant to hold the seal on the scroll, one for each element, Fire, Water, Earth, and Air.

“THOU HAST BROKEN THE SEAL OF THE GODS, AND I THANK THEE, SPIRIT OF DISHARMONY.” an unknown voice that was filled with the sound of tormented souls, “I CHAOS, KING OF DEMONS GIVE YOU MY DEEPEST GRATITUDE, FOR I HAVE BEEN RELEASED!” Just as the mysterious voice came, it vanished, leaving behind a ghostly echo of a maniacal laugh, and as it faded, the four orbs shattered, leaving behind minute traces of the elemental crystals they were made of.

“Well that was interesting,” The three deities said in unplanned unison, “Discord, I guess you were right about the threat, for once, and there is no way even you could pull off a prank of this caliber.” Celestia spoke in a dumbstruck manner.

“Are you well, dear sister?” Luna asked her sister, with a concerned look on her face.

“Yes, Luna, I’m fine, just a bit distraught, I never knew this existed. Discord! Where did you find that scroll?” Celestia directed a glare at Discord, one that would cow any mortal.

“Uhm, well...you see...I went into the library, then I followed a passage down into the catacombs and followed them all the way back into this little area that had an ancient sign reading ‘Library’ on it, I think it went so far under that it connected to the original castle in the Everfree Forest,” Discord stated, sobering up to the seriousness of the situation.

“Well, with this turn of events, I believe something will need to be done about it now,” Celestia said, exasperated, wishing Discord would actually behave for a change. “Discord… just how deep down did you really go? I thought the old libraries were destroyed when Luna went and had her temper tantrum about not being popular enough.” Celestia stood from her throne and went to grab a bottle from her secret stash of Stalliongradi Vodka behind her throne. “Luna, write a letter to the Elements of Harmony, Princess Cadenza and her sex-crazed husband, Shining Armor.” Celestia said.

“Also, the only course of action I can foresee happening is summoning the Elements and Cadenza to tell them what has transpired here.” Luna stated, hoping things could be different than they are. “I will have a letter written out to send to each of them, and have them come here as soon as possible.”

“Guard! Go and fetch a length of parchment for me! Huzzah!” Luna cried out excitedly, since things were getting interesting on her shift for once.

The guard that stood next to the door scampered across the tile floor, trying to turn around and grab some parchment for Luna from the desk near him, after he grabbed it gently in his mouth and trotted up to his princess and she used her violet magic to grab it from him. “Thank you, guard for doing this kindness for me,” Luna said gently to the guard.

“Luna, this is important, Do you wish me to stay with you until the letter is sent?” Celestia asked sleepily, trying to stifle a yawn, and poured herself another shot of the Vodka.

“No, Celestia, you don’t need to do that, I can have it sent through the green fire you seem so fond of, I am curious to try it myself, though I am unsure how to send it to multiple recipients at once.” Luna stated calmly, thinking of the most efficient and expert way of telling the other ponies what had happened, the one she didn't want to tell the most was Cadenza, her adopted niece. She thought to herself for a moment, wondering why this had to happen at the beginning of her watch, and not her sister’s.

“Hah! You’re funny, Luna, you think that Cadenza, our adopted niece will answer this letter? Well, every time I sent her one, She just ignores me! Only twilight cares enough to read the letters I send to her, and Cadenza. It’s a futile effort!” Celestia’s reply was clearly influenced by the vodka she had recently consumed

With an exasperated sigh, the younger of the sisters eagerly spoke to herself, “Well, this needed to be done, now is as good of a time as any to get this over with.” She lifted the scroll up and a quill that was magically charged so the ink would never run out. She thought for a moment, ‘What should I say?...hmm...I think this should work.’

Dear Cadenza, Twilight, and the Elements,

I have some grave news to share with you. We have unfortunately just been the recipients of a terrible curse from long ago. It was sealed inside of a scroll that bore a story of four ancient heroes, they were not the same elements as you are. They were the natural elements of Earth, Fire, Water, and Air. A portion of each of the elemental crystal was used to seal this ancient long forgotten threat: Chaos, the Demon King.

With this letter I beseech you all to come to Canterlot post haste. This is not just a matter of security for Equestria.

Sincerely,
Princess Luna

“Well, that should do the job, don’t you think so Celly?” Luna said to her gently.

“Huh?” Celestia startled awake, “Yes, I think that should do ~hic!~, I’ll send it off to everyone if you want me to dearest sisters and why are you all moving?” Celestia looked at her half-empty bottle of Stalliongradi Vodka, and poured herself another shot of it, slopping half onto the ground.

“Thank you, dear sister, but I can handle doing that myself. I believe you should head off to bed as I start on the Night Court, plus I should take away your liquor,” Luna said tenderly to her sister and tried taking the bottle away from the drunken sun goddess who had a dead-pony’s grip on the bottle, “It shouldn't be too hard, after all, I have coffee and Discord with me, I could always send him to get some of Joe’s famous donuts if I need him to.”

Discord sat up a bit from playing with his marionette ponies, “Did you say Joe? Of Pony Joe Donuts?” the god inquired, “I’ll go and get some now if you want!” and with that, the demented god vanished in a puff of smoke, confetti, and bits of cotton candy flavored avocados.

“Why does Discord have to do that?” Luna questioned herself, “Anyways, thanks to that display, Night Court should be slow and I can catch up on the latest Daring Do comic book! But first, I need to get this sent out its of dire importance to the world it gets to those who need it.”

With a grim, serious look on her face, Luna cantered to the ever burning green flame meant to send letters only to the Crystal Empire and in dire emergencies. She concentrated hard on the scroll in her dark, yet opalescent magic and willed it to duplicate, word for word. A few seconds later, she heard a small pop that told her the letter had been duplicated and was ready to be sent.

“Well, it’s now or never,” She muttered to herself as she pushed one into the green flame that was directed to the Crystalline Castle at the northern reaches of the world. The other one was easier to send for her. All she had to do was will it to vanish and reappear in the Golden Oaks Library, knowing Spike would be sure to give it to Twilight, just as the letter went through the instant-mailing system.

“Well, my job is done on this sobering topic for now,” Luna said to herself, “Now, where did I leave my comic book and bag of mini donuts from Joe’s?”

After a few minutes of searching, Luna looked over at her sister who was splayed across her throne. Celestia was snoring softly, cradling her bottle of vodka in her hooves; like a foal clutching a teddy bear. The Lunar princess shook her head, and went back to eating her snack and reading her comic book that she found tucked under her throne.

Author's Note

Thanks to my editors
Zenith, Shira and ManeWriter
also: Drgnwolf, Slip Kid, and 2135D
Shira's part: Helping me with Flow and dialogue
Zenith and ManeWriter: They helped with Grammar
This story is as much theirs as it is mine for how much work they have put into it!
They have my deepest gratitude and I hope they continue working with me for future chapters!!

Update: Just had some more help with the editing on it, I thank certain members of TWG for helping me out with it, they know who they are