Chapters Holding It In Never Lets It Out
The late morning sun cast its light into living room. Today was a lazy Saturday morning for the Apple family, by their standards. Big Macintosh was late and had just barely managed to beat the sun up. Apple Bloom took the day off from school to sleep in. Granny Smith still had yet to report. Applejack usually got to the market right as it opened, but that time was already an hour past. She'd make up for it by trotting in double time.
"Any of y'all need anything?" yelled Applejack. From upstairs a shriek pierced Applejack's ears. She swore it sounded something like "more sleep!"
Apple Bloom, finally out of bed, poked her little smiling head around the corner. "I could use a periscope!" She said.
"Now what in tarnation? I don't think they even sell those in Ponyville." Applejack blinked, thinking intensely. "Wait, what do you need a periscope for?"
Apple Bloom kicked the floor sheepishly. "Me and the Crusaders were gonna earn our submarining cutie marks, and to do that we need a periscope. We tried to make our own, but all we saw were our own faces."
"Couldn't you just make the submarine without a periscope?" Applejack asked.
"No way!" Apple Bloom said in a huff. "A submarine without a periscope is like an apple without its skin: it's all vulnerable to attack!"
Applejack smiled. "Oh my goodness, little Apple Bloom is growing up so fast. Big Mac! She finally made an apple analogy! She's a true member of the Apple family now!" Tears started welling in her eyes.
"Say what-" before Apple Bloom could continue, Big Macintosh zoomed into the room like a fraternal cheetah and swept Apple Bloom into a massive hug. He was also crying in sheer bliss. She tried to protest before getting another massive squeeze.
"I see you're a bit tied up there, Apple Bloom. I'll leave you two alone in your, ahem, moment." Applejack slipped out of the door. By the time Apple Bloom escaped her brother, she realized what had happened. It was too late. It was all a ploy, and Applejack had successfully escaped to the market. There was no way she could catch up, especially since Applejack was trotting in double time.
"I'll take two roses and a pimpernel, please," Applejack said. She was going to try a new recipe, a "flowertasmagoria" as the cookbook called it.
"Here's the pimpernel, but I'm afraid we're fresh out of roses," said the florist. "Maybe try again next week?"
Applejack smacked her hoof into her face. "Out? Of roses? For goodness sake, Rose, how do you of all ponies run out of roses ?"
"I don't know, maybe this weekend is going to be extra-romantic, for reasons privy to neither of us?" said Rose, circling a hoof in the air. She put the hoof to her chin. "One customer did buy out most of the stock, though..."
"What? Just one? Now who bought all of them?" Applejack demanded.
Rose winked. "Can't answer that! Trade secrets and all! If I told any old pony who bought roses then we'd have no secret admirers, and they're my best customers!"
Applejack pouted. "I was just going to ask to borrow two, I don't think anypony would mind a bouquet that was short a pair of roses, 'cept maybe Rarity.
"...Does she have a lot of secret admirers?" she asked.
"Honey," Rose said, "if she had a bit for every rose somepony left on her doorstep, she'd be one wealthy pony. Haha, oh wait, I do! I am! Why am I even working today?! I've got more money than I can reasonably spend already!" Rose pulled out a closed sign and put it on the counter. With a cry of joy she galloped home.
Applejack stared at the spot Rose was. Her pimpernel was laying there, but she hadn't payed for it before Rose abdicated her stall. She decided that, since she didn't get to pay for it, it wasn't her's.
Applejack wondered if Ponyville really has that many hopeless romantics. Ponies who'd throw their disposable income to give gifts to ponies they love, but refuse to take credit? What would that get you in the long run besides an empty wallet? She didn't get it and thought it was nonsense. She'd just walk up to that pony, tell the truth, and get to the part she wanted without spending a few hundred bits on flowers. Quicker, easier, cheaper.
Unfortunately, Carrot Top's wagon was made with such concepts in mind. She had complained and complained about how wibbly and wobbly it was. As she walked up the hill out of the market square, several bolts started to jostle, causing the tongue to become loose. Every day she said she'd get it fixed tomorrow and probably tell the salespony what-for. But then, it was too late. The bolts fell off, separating the tongue from the rest of the wagon, which then started rolling downhill. Carrot Top tried to chase after her wagon, but with the weight of the tongue and the wagon gaining speed, she couldn't keep up. It rolled into the market street, causing panicked ponies to plunge out of the way. Except for Applejack, still standing there, too lost in thought.
Applejack, hearing the panic, looked around. A dragon? Creepy invaders? Who knows what else? Oh, a loose wagon. Coming right for her. Applejack shut her eyes and tried to jump out of the way, but she didn't feel herself spring.
She felt her self being lifted up, and a cold air brush against her face. Suddenly she couldn't hear the panic anymore, only a slight... swooshing sound? She opened her eyes and saw Ponyville far below her. Clearly, only one thing could have happened.
"Great, of all the things to get me, it's that. I can see the poets writing about it now. 'And thus did noble Applejack verily get smooshed by a wagon.'"
"Maybe, if they take a break from writing about me!"
"Gwa-huh?" It never occurred to Applejack she had yet to look up. She did, and viewed the angel guiding her to the great beyond. "...Rainbow? What are you doing here? Oh, don't tell me, I'm going downstairs aren't I?"
"Hey!" Rainbow Dash said angrily. "Is that any way to talk to the pony who saved your life?"
"You mean that wagon didn't smoosh me? Then what the hay am I doing in the air?" Applejack asked.
"Ugh!" Rainbow grunted. "You can't really tell? I flew by and grabbed you in the nick of time!"
Applejack was satisfied by the explanation. Then she looked back down. All the way down. "Land's Sakes! Could you put me down already? Facing the end once a day is enough for me!" she said, clinging to Rainbow a little tighter.
"Eh..." Rainbow said. "I guess so. My hooves are getting a bit tired anyway." She descended and placed Applejack on a hill just outside of Ponyville.
Applejack, finally feeling her hooves firmly on the ground, gave a great sigh of relief. "Thank ya kindly, Rainbow! I was certain there for a bit that wagon had-"
"-Smooshed you? Hehe!" Rainbow finished for her. "It's no big deal." She scratched the back of her head. And kept going.
"Sugarcube," Applejack asked, "are you feeling okay? Shouldn't you be zipping off somewhere?"
"Oh, uh, heh heh I- um, er..." Rainbow stuttered. "I guess I was waiting for you to say- something?"
Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Well... thanks again. I have to go get back to market, because as exciting as near-death experiences are, they don't patch up holes in fences, know what I mean? See ya!" Applejack said with a smile as she trotted off back to town.
"Yeah, well, see ya..." Rainbow said wistfully. She kicked the dirt and muttered to herself, "If that didn't do it, what would?" The blue pegasus flew off.
Author's Note
The only thing not played straight in this fanfic is its main pairing.
Holding It In Never Lets It Out
Rainbow Dash was a mare with a plan. She flew across the skies to Sweet Apple Acres to enact the plan posthaste. She wanted desperately to pull off a few loop-de-loops or barrel rolls along the way, but not only would that make her slow down, she also wanted to save it all for Applejack. All for Applejack. Anything for Applejack.
Favors didn't work, so Rainbow changed the plan. Her talent wasn't in good deeds, it was flying fast and performing death-defying feats! Why didn't I think of this sooner? She thought. Fly in and do an amazing trick! That'll show her for sure how awesome I am! Will it really work though? She felt the wind flowing through her fur. She loved the feeling. It was the only thing keeping her nerves from exploding. What if I fail? She tried to put it out of mind. I'll show her that I'm the bee's knees!
She saw Sweet Apple Acres, and she caught sight of Applejack, an orange shape among the green grass. She knew it was too late to back out. She began to unveil to the world her most stupendous maneuver yet. She called it the Phantasm Cannonade. To her, it was the finest act of flying known to ponykind - death-defying loops and spins, contrails colliding and crossing, and even a bit of cloud-skimming.
Rainbow turned upwards sharply then looped through the rainbow contrail. What if I fall on my face and she laughs at me? She made the turn, throwing a cloud into the rainbow loop. The impact caused the cloud to explode into sparkles. What if she thinks it was stupid? She turned downwards, zooming to the ground midst the sparkles.
Judgement was always the worst part of a routine. The endless dread between action and reaction, even when she knew she was best in show. Rainbow Dash landed, the sparkles fading, and she prepared herself for Applejack's reply. Either her fears would be realized, or Applejack would finally melt like butter into her hooves and say-
"That was a pretty good trick, Rainbow!" Applejack said.
"Yeah I kn-what?"
Applejack chuckled. "I was worried there for a bit we'd end up having to build Sweet Apple Cemetery around you, but you did some pretty amazing stunts up there!"
Rainbow scratched the back of of her head. "Aw shucks, that wasn't even the best I could do! So how about we-"
"I'd rate it four out of five. It's good, but it lacked something I can't quite place," Applejack said. "A... kick? I don't mean literally, I mean - oh, dang it, I'e got work to do on a wagon!"
"What about after that, then?" Rainbow pleaded.
"I suppose I can give you the write-up then, sugarcube. Well, see ya!" Applejack trotted away.
Rainbow Dash blankly stared forward. "What just happened?" She said to herself aloud. She looked around, confused, as though the answer would be on a tree. "So, is she into me, or..."
"If it makes you feel any better, I thought it was wonderful," a voice said from behind Rainbow.
"Whoza-whatzit?!" Rainbow turned around. "Fluttershy?" Rainbow said. "When did you get there? How didn't I see you coming?"
"Sorry, I don't know." Fluttershy grabbed her mane and wrapped it around her chin. "I mean, I'm so bright I practically glow! It's one of the reasons I have trouble looking myself in the mirror."
Rainbow blinked. "Wait, why are you here anyway?"
"Applejack told me she's fixing a wagon," Fluttershy said, "and she needed something to stress-test it."
"So little old you volunteered? I told you to lay off the bagels, but... but!" Rainbow started laughing.
"No, he did." Fluttershy pointed to the bear behind her.
"GAH!" Rainbow jumped backwards in shock and flew off, halfway to the horizon before turning around and coming back. "That sc... surprised me! What do you need a bear for anyway?!"
"Actually, I did volunteer, but Applejack needed someone a bit bigger than me, so Bearthoven here decided he could help. Isn't that right, buddy?" Bearthoven nodded. Fluttershy continued. "So, what did you mean, was she 'into' you?"
"Oh, uh, heh heh, I... said that out loud, huh?" Rainbow said, starting to blush. "Uh, promise to keep a secret?"
"Oh, of course, Rainbow. I'll never speak of it," Fluttershy replied.
"And the bear, too."
Fluttershy flew up to Bearthoven's ear and whispered to him, and he nodded and whispered something back. Fluttershy spoke up. "Bearthoven says he won't gossip to any of his bear friends." He whispered a little more. "And they wouldn't care about pony things even if he did!"
"Then, come here. I still don't want to say it out loud," Rainbow said. Fluttershy leaned in, turning her head to offer an ear. Rainbow looked around, assuring herself there was no one here except herself, Fluttershy, and a bear. She whispered into Fluttershy's ear.
Fluttershy's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. "R-really? Oh my goodness! So, have you told her yet?"
Rainbow grinned sheepishly. "Nah, that flowers-and-candy stuff is totally lame." Rainbow jumped and did a flip in the air, puffing out her chest while beaming proudly. "I'm gonna show her how awesome I am!
"Except I think she missed the point." Rainbow said, relaxing.
Fluttershy gave her friend a weak smile. "Well, that trick was awesome, yes." She called it buttering as it took the sting off of the but that was coming. "But it was just a trick, you know? All it says is 'look how cool I am.' N-not that there's anything wrong with that!" she said.
"Well, yeah, I am awesome. Who doesn't know that?" Rainbow said, shrugging her shoulders.
"Hhm." Fluttershy pondered. "I suppose nopony, but that's my point. She knows you're awesome, so why would this incredible feat suddenly make her ask you on a date? What makes it different from, say, Thunderpulse Θ or The Inverse Icarus Deluxe?" Fluttershy tried to mimic the movements of the tricks with her hoof.
Rainbow thought for a moment. "I think I get what you're saying. The problem is that it was great, but it wasn't romantic."
Fluttershy beamed a giant grin. "Oh, yes, yes, that's it! At least part-"
"What I should do is make it have, like, exploding hearts or something! I gotcha, yeah, I see! Thanks!" Rainbow yelled, also grinning.
Fluttershy shook her head. "No, that's not quite it, I mean you should-" but it was too late. Rainbow zoomed off to the horizon. "-make it about not you, but about her." Fluttershy's buttering plan didn't account for Rainbow just flying off; a serious design flaw. She resolved to fix it eventually. She heard an ahem and looked over her shoulder "Oh, sorry Bearthoven, I just got so caught up in that I forgot all about the wagon!" She said to the bear tapping his foot impatiently. "Come on, let's get to the barn, and remember, not a word of what Rainbow Dash was talking about!" Fluttershy went along the way to Sweet Apple Acres, pursued by a bear.
"There, tidiest cellar in Equestria," Applejack said, walking in to the barn to wrap up for the evening. "Did I miss anything topside, Big Mac?"
"Rainbow Dash had a new trick." Big Macintosh answered. "Mighty impressive you missed it, too, since it lasted so long. I didn't know a pony could make an apple-shaped cloud."
"How long did it go-" Applejack cut herself off, shaking her head and flicking her ears. "Did you say apple?"
"Eeyup." He answered. "She don't normally use apples in her stunts, so it was a real treat to not see another lightning bolt."
Applejack thought for a moment in silence. "Apples, huh. Big Mac, could you go tell Rainbow I missed it?"
Big Macintosh smiled. "Is this another favor?"
Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Why, you counting?"
"Eeyup. You owe me eight."
Applejack frowned. "Lands sakes, that's a lot! Don't collect them too soon, won't you?"
"Nine."
Applejack scowled. "And perhaps you could stop being such a jerk while you're at it."
"Ten."
Applejack stomped in frustration. "Ugh, fine, scratch that last one, be a jerk all you want. But I need you to tell Rainbow Dash I missed it. I can't ask her myself, because she's acting strange around me. I don't know if she thinks she owes me a debt or whatever other silly idea has popped into her noggin, but it's getting mighty worrying. I'm gonna get to the bottom of this."
Holding It In Never Lets It Out
"Big Mac just told me you missed the Fantastic Apple Sculpture!" Rainbow Dash, hovering slightly out of reach, asked of Applejack when they met in market the next day. "How? It lasted for eight minutes. It had a coda for pony's sake!"
Tangents. Classic Rainbow trick. "I told him to tell you I was in the cellar. Yes, for eight minutes." She caught herself, and stamped a hoof. "And that's not why I wanted to talk to you! Ever since you saved me from that wagon you've been acting weird, and it's bothering me, and I want to know why!"
Rainbow panicked. "I just thought-" she glanced around, thinking of an excuse. "I just thought our relationship-" she wanted to kick herself. "-Was really... antagonistic! Yeah, that's it."
Applejack cocked an eyebrow. "Antagonistic? You saying I'm hindering you? Why, that's the-"
Rainbow panicked more. "No no no, I mean, all we seem to do together is argue and try to beat the other at games!" she hastily explained. "I just felt like it'd nice to do something for somepony, especially... you." She sighed.
"Huh, well." Applejack said. "And here I thought I had your family held for ransom and didn't know it, or something. So why didn't you tell me?"
"Because it'd be totally lame. 'Oh hey Applejack, I'm going to do Nice Things so we can be pals!'" Rainbow rolled her eyes. "I'd probably barf from how lame it is. And you might think I was being sarcastic if I did that."
Applejack laughed. "Yeah, I could see that. But, you mind being a bit more obvious with the whole 'nice things' thing?"
Applejack thought that was that.
But it wasn't. Things started to happen. When she and her friends got together, Rainbow was always avoiding her. Rainbow sat on the opposite side of the picnic blanket. Every now and then, she saw a flourish in the sky that she was certain Rainbow had left for her. The rain came exactly on time and ended over Sweet Apple Acres before anywhere else. She suddenly started getting a steady stream of anonymous gifts on her doorstep every week. They were always in silver wrapping paper and always arrived on Friday - when the weather team is payed on Thursday. And then she-
"Applejack, something wrong?"
"Oh it's- hi, Apple Bloom," Applejack said. She was sitting on her bed, admiring a small sliver cloud-shaped pendant. "Yeah, and it's about-"
"-Your secret admirer?" Apple Bloom cut in.
Applejack blushed. "Can't a pony just get gifts from somepony who doesn't leave a return address without it having to be all romantic-like?"
"Oh come on!" Apple Bloom whined. "What's so strange about it? I mean, I thought you'd have a few dozen by now, since you're such a neat pony and all."
Applejack sighed. "Because I think they're from Rainbow Dash."
Apple Bloom nodded. "Oh, so you think your secret admirer is-" She gasped in surprise, growing a huge, giddy smile. "Your secret admirer is Ra-"
"Don't say it!" Applejack said sharply.
"Why not?"
"It'd just be really weird. Trust me, I've thought about it a couple of times, it don't make no sense at all. As long as we've been friends it'd... I'm not sure." Applejack shook her head. "Anyway, whatever her reason, it's not like her to do these things. And here I thought we cleared this up."
Apple Bloom frowned a little. "Applejack, are you mad at her?"
Applejack shook her head a little, looked Apple Bloom in the eye, then flopped on her bed. "I don't know, a little, maybe, probably, because I think she might've lied to me. But either way, Apple Bloom, she's hiding something, something really big from me."
Apple Bloom sat on the bed next to her sister. "So, what, you're gonna talk to her again? What if she says the same stuff as last time?"
Applejack, still laying, smirked. "I think you and her both have forgotten who's the undefeated lasso-throwing champion of Equestria, seven years running!"
Apple Bloom turned to Applejack, and they sat in silence for several moments. Applejack's grin never went down.
"...Didn't you get second place that one time?" Apple Bloom finally said.
"Undefeated. I think they bribed that judge. There's no way he thought some rodeo clown could toss a lasso better than me!"
"Applejack, that was Braeburn."
"Then, land's sake, our cousin is a doggone clown!"
They sat in silence for several moments. Then they burst out laughing.
Applejack yawned. She could stay up late every now and then just fine, as long as there was something to do. But all she could do was wait and watch. She couldn't avert her eyes for a second, either, as she was waiting for the fastest pony in Equestria. "Why can't I have a stake-out for Fluttershy, or Rarity?" Applejack quietly muttered to herself. "No, just has to be a pony who brags about being quick and flies everywhere." She realized she was speaking out loud, and frowned. Can't even grumble to break the monotony. Just sit behind the brush, lasso at the ready, and wait.
And wait.
Applejack was about to throw in the towel when she heard a swoosh above her, much different than the trees rustling in the breeze. Readying herself for disappointment, she mustered all her effort into watching the front door one last time.
It was worth the wait. Rainbow Dash was silently stalking towards the door, a package in her mouth. She was as quiet as could be, but a pony as colorful as her stood out from her dark surroundings. The package was a small box in silvery wrapping paper, like all the others. Applejack had caught the anonymous gifter red-hoofed.
That varmit! That lying varmit! Applejack thought to herself through grit teeth. In one swift motion she threw the lasso, hoping to get any part of Rainbow at all. Seven years of championships, or at least close, had to count for something.
"What the- my leg! It's-uh oh." Rainbow said as she saw the lasso around her rear leg - and who was walking towards her, holding the other end. Rainbow's wings spread on instinct.
"Rainbow Dash!" Applejack yelled, brow furrowed. "You liar! You scamp! You... you... If my granny heard the words I want to yell at you, she'd start crying! What are you doing?"
Rainbow fake-laughed nervously. "You know, bringing a gift for a good friend!" she said, mustering her most sheepish smile.
Applejack grit her teeth and yanked the rope, taking Rainbow's leg out from under her and causing her to fall on her side. "That's not what I mean, and you know it! You told me all this sneaky stuff was done! And here after we have that talk I suddenly start getting gifts, and I hoped it would be anypony but you." She walked closer to Rainbow, causing the pegasus to crawl back until she hit a tree. "Rainbow Dash, the only thing I hate more than a liar is a pony who makes a fool out of me, and right now, you're both. So tell me, right now, why you're doing this!"
Rainbow Dash glanced to her sides. "I... I... I just..." she stuttered.
"And if you lie to me again, Celestia help me, they'll spend weeks cleaning up what's left of you," Applejack said, stamping for emphasis.
Rainbow Dash only stared, sweat rolling down her brow. The bark against her back was hurting. "Because-" she gasped, the words refusing to leave. Tears started welling in her eyes.
"Because I love you!!"
Rainbow Dash kept her eyes closed. The tears started to roll down her cheeks. Nothing happened. Time seemed to stop. At least, it felt that way. Every passing second felt like hours, and it all made her hate herself more and more. Everything she dreaded happened anyway. Applejack was as far from swooning as possible. She messed up somewhere, and it was a pretty big mess-up. Nothing persisted. She wished something, anything would just happen , to free her from this tension.
You... love me? That ain't no lie, is it," she finally said.
"Don't make me say it again!" Rainbow sobbed, still refusing to look up. "Please, it nearly killed me."
Applejack's ears drooped. "But, why... then you... why didn't you just tell me?" she finally sputtered out.
Rainbow shook her head, scattering teardrops. "Because I thought it'd be lame! Yeah, sure, like this is so much better!" She buried her face in her hooves.
Silence settled. Rainbow grimaced.
"Applejack, I know this is selfish, but just say something. Anything. I can't stand the quiet."
Applejack's brow furrowed. "What do you want me to say? You lie to me and-"
"I know! I know!" Rainbow interrupted. "It was stupid! I was stupid! I am stupid! Stupid stupid stupid! All I've done is ticked you off!" She kept her face in her hooves, and sobbed softly.
Applejack frowned. "Come on, sugarcube. It wasn't that bad."
"Yes it was!" Rainbow yelled. "I'm so head-over-heels for you I do everything to make you dislike me and all I can to make you mad at me!"
"Rainbow, there's a lot of things I can call you. Stupid ain't on the list nearly as high up as proud is."
"Huh?" Rainbow Dash said. She looked up, and saw Applejack smiling softly.
"Now, I'll agree you ain't the smartest pony, but more than that, it takes a lot just to make you admit you're wrong about a game of horseshoes." Applejack untied the lasso around Rainbow's leg.
"What are you saying?" Rainbow asked.
"I'm saying I can tell you're plenty serious about this. It takes something real strong to make you even consider fault." Applejack thought for a second. "Tell ya what, I know this is real selfish of me, but it's late and you dropped a real bombshell on me. I gotta have time to sleep and think about this." She said.
Rainbow turned away, frowning. "Don't bother. There's no point. You're too good for me. I don't deserve a pony who tells me that after I tick her off so much."
Applejack snickered warmly. "Now now, Rainbow, I don't think so. It takes a mighty strong pony to admit that, so I'd say you're a mighty strong pony."
Rainbow turned to face Applejack. Her warm smile and little freckled cheeks filled Rainbow with a cacophony of emotions she couldn't withstand. She fell forwards, collapsing into Applejack. "I love you," Rainbow said between choked sobs.
Applejack patted her on the back of the head. "I know, I know."
Holding It In Never Lets It Out
Coffee. Coffee is all that mattered. Applejack slowly walked into the kitchen, every step heavy and ponderous. She pushed with every ounce of strength to reach that glorious nectar. She grabbed the coffee pot and poured herself a cup; tall, dark, steaming, beautiful . She chugged half of it down before she had to take a breath, and the bitter sting told her she was awake for certain. That's good, she thought. She could pretend last night was a dream. She moved halfway to the nearest seat at the table before finally regarding Big Macintosh, who had been watching the whole show in bewilderment.
"Long night?" he finally asked.
Applejack stared at him and frowned. "You wouldn't know the half of it."
Big Mac waited until Applejack found her seat. "I don't know, you and Rainbow sure yelled loud enough," he said with a shrug. "Woke me and Apple Bloom up."
Applejack froze mid-sip and her eyes shrunk to pinpricks. "You... heard?"
"Ee-yup."
"What? How much?"
"I couldn't understand much of it. All I could really make out was three words from Rainbow-"
Applejack slammed her mug on the table. "Don't worry," she said tersely. "I know what you mean. It's been bouncing around my head ever since."
Big Mac smirked a little. "So, you like her?"
Applejack glared. "Don't you start with me, mister." She sighed, and took another long drink. "It's just... she acts all weird and ticks me off, and then she tells me... that. "
Big Mac frowned a little. "So, you don't like her."
Applejack looked up at the ceiling. "But, I saw a side of her I don't think many ponies have seen, a humility I didn't think she even had. She's willing to throw out the bravado for me. The sincerity was touching."
Big Mac smirked a little. "So, you like her."
Applejack got up and walked to the coffee pot. "But she's a friend, a pain in the rear sometimes, but a friend." She poured herself another cup. "And I never thought of her as more. I never wanted to. She's a friend, and I dont, I can't see her as more. I mean, how would our friends react? What if it didn't work out?"
Big Mac frowned a little. "So, you don't like her."
Applejack took a long drink and swallowed loudly. "But this means so much to her, you know? She must've been holding it in for months. And the gifts weren't no knick-knacks, that's for sure." Applejack said as she pulled out a small, lightning-shaped pendant. "It was her last gift, the one she had when I caught her. It matches the one I got last week."
Big Mac smirked a little. "So, you do like h-"
"And it doesn't help you're trying to make it this simple yes/no thing!" Applejack snapped. "Can you tell me how you and Cheerilee are doing?"
Big Mac blushed a little. "That's, uh, that's..."
Applejack grinned. "See, ain't so simple, is it? It ain't every day your best friend ticks you off with fancy gifts." She slammed her face on the table. "And I think the coffee's broken."
"It's decaf," Big Mac said. "You got it so you wouldn't keep yourself up."
Applejack groaned. "This day cannot get worse. Where's some good news?"
"I'll take care of your chores for you, you scoot back into bed."
"That's not good news and you know it. I can't be owning you more favors."
Big Mac smiled softly. "Then do me a favor and get some more sleep. You've got enough to worry about already."
Applejack looked up at her brother and smiled back. "Aw, shucks, you're a big softie, you know that?
"Ee-yup," he replied, a little embarrassed.
That afternoon, Applejack rolled a barrel through an empty field. Her eyes darted around constantly. Nopony in sight, just what she needed. Her rest had given her an answer, and she had a plan. It was a most dangerous plan. She could only hope it got only the pony she wanted, and at worst she would be destroyed in a stampede. But she knew Rainbow Dash probably wouldn't come to see her of her own accord, not after last night. Rainbow deserved an answer, and Applejack had one.
She pried the lid off the barrel and waved her hoof to let the scent waft. She gulped, considering taking one last chance to escape before things went wrong. Before she could think again, she saw a streak of color heading straight towards her.
"CiderciderciderciderciderciderciderciderCIDERCIDERCIDERwaitAp-" the streak said before it crashed into the ground. Rainbow tumbled a few times, kicking up dirt, before coming to a stop on her back. The ground above was spinning. She saw pretty flowers. She tried to name them. Lilac, lavender, aster, Applejack.
"Uh, you okay, sugarcube?" Applejack asked of the crumpled heap before her.
"Wha-huh!?" With a mighty leap somehow from her back she untangled and reoriented herself. "A-Applejack!" She said while landing on her hooves. "How nice too see you! Heh heh!" She cast her eyes down. "You aren't still mad at me, are you?"
"No, I ain't now," Applejack said. "I just wanted to ask you something."
Rainbow gulped. "Yeah, what?"
"You know any nice restaurants in town? I don't think Hayburger is exactly fancy."
Rainbow's jaw dropped. "Uh."
"Oh, Rarity told me about this place where she had dinner with a client, Dreamhorse I think it was?"
Rainbow started to blush and looked around. "Applejack, is this some kind of prank, or are you-"
"We could always plan a trip to Canterlot to hit one of the really fancy places, but I don't think I could stand something so hoity-toity."
"APPLEJACK!" Rainbow yelled.
Applejack leaned away a little. "What?"
"I want to make this completely straight, clear, whatever!" Rainbow's face was beet-red. "You're asking me out? On a date?"
Applejack smiled sheepishly. "Well, uh, yeah."
"This is not a joke or anything?"
"Nope, I'm one hundred percent serious."
Rainbow pinched herself. "Ow! Guess it's not a dream, either."
Applejack tipped her hat. "I'd be right ashamed of your subconscious's interpretation of me for leading you on if it were."
"You said Dreamhorse ?" Rainbow asked.
"Alright by me. Friday evening?"
"Sure." Rainbow shrugged. "Anything else you wanted to say?"
"Nope, not now anyway. See you then, then."
"Wait!" Rainbow shouted. "Can I keep the cider?"
Applejack laughed. "Sure, keep it."
"Alright!" Rainbow pumped her hoof. "If I can get out of here with it before that vicious cider-crazed mob murders me, this day will officially rule!"
Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Did you say vicious cider-crazed mob?"
Rainbow grinned apologetically. "Uh, yeah, did I forget to mention them? Uh, well, see you Friday, if you make it!" she darted off to the horizon.
"Horseapples," Applejack said as the thunder of hooves grew deafening.
Holding It In Never Lets It Out
"So, Applejack," Rarity said, undoing the red band around her ponytail. "What finally made you decide to get a makeover?" Rarity magically fetched a brush, regarded Applejack's hair, and got a second brush. One might not be enough. This would be the most dangerous makeover Carousel Boutique has seen. "Have some occasion planned? A fancy party to attend? Have somepony you're wanting to dazzle? Business negotiations with a high-class client? Spontaneity? Did you finally admit to yourself that 'prettyfying' is an amazing and transcendent experience?!"
"Uh," Applejack said aprehensively. "Not to burst your bubble or anything, but it's the third one."
"Oh, well," Rarity frowned. "Perhaps some day you'll realize the joy of-" Rarity flinched. The brush fell to the ground. "Wait, you found your special somepony? Rarity swiveled Applejack's chair and seized her shoulders. "Who is it? Tell me who it is!" she pleaded with stars in her eyes.
Applejack smiled nervously. "I don't think she'd appreciate me jawing off about it. Besides, I don't know if she's quite at special somepony. I'm trying it out, or something."
"Hmm, fair enough," Rarity said, disappointed. "Though would you at least let me pry a little? What do you mean by trying it out?"
"Well, she likes -oof- me plenty," Applejack replied, flinching as the brush got caught in a tangle. "she made that clear as day. But trying to -ah- figure out if I liked her just confused-gahh! Tarnation, Rarity, you trying to pull my mane out?"
Rarity grimaced in determination. "Sorry, Applejack, but I simply cannot leave it in such deplorable condition! How often do you brush it?"
Applejack pondered for a moment. "Last time was..." She reached deep into her memory, farther and farther back... "Wait, you should know, 'cause you did it that time too!"
"How in goodness's sake do you even care about..." Rarity shook her head. "Never mind, I feel like we had this conversation then, too. Anyway, as you were saying, she likes you, and you couldn't figure out if you like her?"
"Yeah, I-"
"Oh my, Applejack!" Rarity said loudly while braiding Applejack's hair. "That's quite charitable of you! Giving her what she wants more than anything while also sorting out how you feel, why, if everypony gave chances I believe we'd all have a special somepony!"
Applejack laughed. "Sheesh, took me a couple of hours to work it out and you get it in seconds! I always thought it'd be clearer if I liked somepony or not, but it's not like that. With it seriously in front of me I just can't tell."
Rarity snipped off a few split ends. "I know what you mean. We're all told so much about love at first sight from the time we're fillies that we just expect to suddenly know who we like, but we've got to remember that Mrs. Right might just not present herself so readily. It might take some time, but you could find she was waiting there all along."
Applejack smirked. "Like a diamond in the rough?"
"Applejack, fair warning, if I hear that from you one more time I'll stab you," Rarity said softly. "And, seriously, remember, don't try to make this into something it isn't."
Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Whaddaya mean?"
"We can become so enamored with the ideal we can't see the reality." Rarity said as she applied the finishing touches to Applejack's mane. "Don't try to force anything. Let it come naturally, and if it doesn't work, there's no point in hanging on to what it could be. If Mrs. Right is really Mrs. Wrong, well, that's that, and trying to force it will hurt you both."
"Huh." Applejack was a little surprised. "Did Blueblood teach you that one?"
"In a manner of speaking, yes," Rarity replied. "Honestly I'm shocked he hasn't been stabbed by some mare with much less grace than moi ," she said, bouncing her curled mane with a hoof. "Anyway, Applejack, you're all set. Prettied, but not too fancy, just like you asked."
"Thank ya' kindly!" Applejack said, reaching as if to tip her hat by instinct but only finding air. "And for the advice, too. I don't know how I can repay you."
Rarity held up a hoof. "No, no. If you're happy, then I'm happy. Besides, you let me get that whole spiel off my chest. I never knew I had that in there."
"Shucks, Rarity, if you just need someone to talk to, I'll listen." Applejack said sheepishly. "Just don't you go jawin' off about it neither, 'cause it's still kind of embarrassing. And ask before you use that 'mask-ar-uh' stuff next time!"
"Hee hee, alright, alright, I understand, darling," Rarity said. "And I hope your date with Mrs. Whoever goes well!"
Applejack smiled. "I know it'll be a blast!"
The clock struck seven. Applejack spent the entire hour before meeting with Rainbow Dash worrying if it'd be a blast or not. She'd never been on a date before. She was only mildly aware of what a date even was and what one resembled. Two ponies dress fancy and go to a fancy place and eat a fancy dinner and have a good time. So she waited at the booth she reserved at Dreamhorse for Rainbow Dash. She waited.
And waited.
"If she got cold hooves after all this, I'm gonna... gonna..." Before she could articulate the brutality she was imagining, she spotted a vivid rainbow mane - all styled in a bun. Applejack liked it. Rainbow Dash usually took so little care of her mane, which was a shame since it's so pretty, and it looked so great with even a little attention, and... Applejack caught herself, blinked, then noticed Rainbow looking around. She waved for her.
"Applejack! You're not dead!" Rainbow said, smiling widely and never breaking eye contact as she sat down.
"With no thanks to somepony," she replied flatly.
"Hey! It was either cider or no cider, and you're pretty good with stampedes," Rainbow said with a grin.
"Cows are one thing, ponies are..." Applejack groaned. "Never mind, here comes the waiter."
The waiter, a tall tan unicorn, floated a pen and notepad out of his pocket. "What will the ladies be ordering tonight?" he said, his face stiff, almost statue-like.
"I'll have the hay fries. Low salt, plenty of ketchup," Rainbow said.
Applejack looked cross at her menu. "What in tarnation is a Caeser Surprise?"
"If I told you, it'd ruin the surprise," the waiter replied, unflinching.
Applejack thrust her menu at the waiter. "Heck, what's one more surprise for the pile? I'll take the Caesar Surprise."
"As you wish, madams." The waiter said, before moving on to a different table. Applejack and Rainbow, finally alone, managed to stare at each other awkwardly.
"So, uh," Rainbow finally eked out, "how about them Wonderbolts? Who's your favorite?"
Applejack frowned slightly. "Rainbow, I was hoping to ask you some questions."
Rainbow sighed. "I knew this was coming, I practiced. Rehearsed in front of a mirror until I could tell the whole story!
"It turned out to not help at all." She propped her head on a hoof. "I think I'll put a hat on the mirror next time."
"Rainbow Dash, if you aren't going to take this seriously then I'll just leave right now and we can pretend this never happened."
"I know, I know," Rainbow said, whirling a hoof. "Go ahead, shoot."
"Well, one's been bugging me. Why me? Of all the ponies, an apple farmer?" Applejack pleaded.
Rainbow snickered darkly. "I've been asking myself that for months. It feels like one day I woke up and decided the only thing in the world that mattered was you. Suddenly I thought about you, felt about you entirely differently. I couldn't tell you what I was thinking any better than I could read other ponies' thoughts.
"Sorry the answer's lame," Rainbow said sheepishly. "I wish I could tell you but I'm no good at this mushy stuff."
"Eh, you tried." Applejack shrugged. "I really want to know what the hay you were thinking then, with the... well... everything," she said, scowling a little.
Rainbow looked vacantly at the ceiling. "I know you've already seen me be really pathetic already, but, still-"
"SURPRISE!" The waiter slammed Applejack's meal onto the table, causing both ponies to leap into the corner of the booth. "And the hay fries for you," he said, gently placing Rainbow's plate on to the table with such grace that it barely made a sound, then returned to his rounds.
"Applejack, were we just murdered?" Rainbow asked, staring at the Caesar Surprise.
"I'm not completely certain, sugarcube," Applejack answered." Oh, whew, there it is, my heart's beating again. I think I'll make it."
Rainbow still stared at the salad. "You sure it's not a bomb or something? Is the surprise really something that... chintzy?"
Applejack took a bite. "It's a regular salad."
Rainbow grimaced. "I'm not sure I like this restaurant anymore. Will my hay fries scream at me next?"
"I think that's just the Caesar Surprise, unless you ordered Hollerin' Hay Fries or something," Applejack said.
"They were."
Rainbow Dash and Applejack stared at the hay fries.
"I am fairly certain I don't like this restaurant anymore," Rainbow said.
The clock read seven-thirty. Applejack took another bite of her salad. Rainbow Dash lazy munched one of her fries. Applejack swallowed and spoke up.
"You never answered my question."
Rainbow Dash nearly choked on her hollerin' hay fry. "I didn't-" She coughed a few times. "I didn't mean to!"
Applejack glared.
"I swear! I forgot when the waiter dropped the salad!"
Applejack glared harder.
Rainbow glared back. "You forgot until now too, didn't you?"
"Snrk," Applejack said, her facade breaking. "Okay, hehe, yeah, you caught me. But, still, I want to know. If you liked me, why'da do everything but tell me?"
Rainbow sighed. "I barely understand why myself. I think... I was afraid of you saying... no."
Applejack raised an eyebrow. "No?"
Rainbow cringed. "Okay, yeah, it was that. I didn't want to hear you telling me no. I didn't want you to even have the chance. So I did everything I could to make you like me ." She pantomimed flapping with her hooves. "I'd sweep you off your hooves." She clasped her hooves together. "You'd meekly confess your undying love for me, that sort of thing."
Applejack raised an eyebrow again.
"I know, it's completely silly, right? Bleh!" Rainbow said, lolling her tongue. "But, no matter how awkward things got, I just held on to that hope that as long as you didn't tell me no..." Rainbow looked down.
Applejack smiled. That smile. "I don't think there ain't any pony who likes rejection, sugarcube."
"Yeah, there's not liking it, then there's being afraid of it. What was that thing Rarity said once?" Rainbow asked. "'Better to have love and lost, than to have never loved at all'? I guess I just disagreed.
"But," she added, "I think I finally get why she said it. I don't have to hide something from you anymore. It's been ages since I felt so... light."
"The way you can put down those hay fries," Applejack said, "I don't think you're going to stay light for long."
Rainbow Dash briefly considered bashing the love of her life in the face.
Rainbow fidgeted. She looked at the clock. Seven forty-five. "Hey Applejack?"
"Yeah, Rainbow?"
"How about them... uh... what is your favorite hoofball team?" She said with an insincere grin.
Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Seaddle. Hoofball season's been over for a few months though."
Rainbow sighed. "I know."
Silence hanged in the air.
"I just," Rainbow said, "wonder why we're here."
Applejack laughed. "I never thought I'd see the day where Rainbow's existential."
"No, at least, I think so? I don't know what that word means exactly." Rainbow shrugged. "I mean, this place."
Applejack frowned. "The food bad or something?"
"No, it's alright, it's just..." Rainbow grunted in frustration. "I liked talking to you, getting stuff off my chest, all that. But why do we need to be at a restaurant for that? Can't we do that anywhere?"
Applejack winced in confusion. "But, this is a date, isn't it?"
Rainbow scowled. "What does that have to do with it?"
"Ponies have dates in fancy restaurants," Applejack said. "It's what everypony does!"
"Yeah, but, are we everypony? Why do we have to do something they do?"
"I..." Applejack thought for a moment. "I don't know," she finally admitted. Suddenly, words came echoing back to her.
"Don't try to make this into something it isn't."
Rarity was right. Applejack did not want to admit it, but she was right. Applejack threw her head back and laughed.
"Uh, AJ, you okay?" Rainbow asked.
"You're right, Rainbow!" Applejack said.
"Wha-uh, well, yeah, of course I am." Rainbow beamed proudly.
"The night's still young," Applejack said, "so what do you want to do? Horseshoes? Races? Kicking trees?"
Rainbow laughed nervously. "Any of the above?"
Applejack grinned and slammed down eight bits on the table. "Alright then, bill's paid, so what are we waiting for?"
Rainbow Dash smiled a real, unguarded smile, her first that night.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash laid in a field near Ponyville, staring up at the stars. They did everything. Horseshoes, races, kicking trees, and anything that came to mind. They lost track of time and only quit when they couldn't keep going. Applejack was only somewhat worried what her family would think when she came home in the middle of the night all sweaty, or if she never bothered coming home at all until the next day. The grass was comfy. The night was cool. The company, though...
"I totally won, by the way," Rainbow said, apropos of nothing.
"In your wildest dreams, maybe," Applejack retorted.
A soft wind blew, rustling the tall grass around the two ponies.
"What was the score, anyway?" Rainbow asked.
"Heck if I know. I just know I had more." Applejack replied.
Applejack tried to name constellations. All she knew was the Big Dipper. She thought about going stargazing with Twilight one of these days. She never knew how beautiful the heavens could be.
"Kept you up all night again, didn't I? Sorry about that." Rainbow said.
"It's alright. Big Mac'll handle the morning chores. Besides, I had fun." Applejack closed her eyes and felt the wind blow over her.
"Think we could... do this again, sometime? I don't mean, like, this this, but, just, like, hanging out?" Rainbow stuttered out.
Applejack laughed. "I was wondering how long it'd take you to finally ask me out."
"Yeah yeah, laugh it up now AJ, but one day the shoe's gonna be on the other hoof," Rainbow said.
A breeze stirred up, and the grass tickled Applejack. She didn't mind. "Sure, whenever's fine with me."
"Sweet." It was all Rainbow said.
"Hey, Rainbow," Applejack said, "thanks."
Rainbow sat up. "Huh? For what?"
"For showing me that relationships don't gotta be a certain way, just that the two ponies have a great time," Applejack said with a smile.
Rainbow laughed. "You seriously didn't know that?"
"I guess I just got it in my head that two ponies dating had to go on dates at fancy restaurants and had to give each other flowers, and this and that, or else it wasn't a date, it wasn't dating.
"But, I guess it's what we make of it, or something."
Applejack took off her hat. The grass was cool.
"If this doesn't work out - if we don't - we'll still be friends, right?" Rainbow murmured.
"Now, sugarcube, don't you worry none. After all we've been through, breaking up wouldn't come close. Besides, I know you. You wouldn't do anything to break my little ol' heart."
The crickets were silent.
"Applejack?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I say something, since there isn't anypony else around for miles to hear?"
"Uh, sure."
"Because, I just wanna say it once, but if any-"
"Oh just spit it out already!"
"I-I love you." Rainbow stammered slightly.
Applejack laughed. It was a warm laugh. "You ain't too bad yourself, neither."
The breeze was soft, and the stars beautiful.
Author's Note
I don't know if you guys care about those massive dissertations I tend to write but I might vomit one out for this one anyway.
The short of it is, this is me attempting to understand my mortal nemesis, shipping fanfiction. What makes it tick? How could I make it work? Can I put something into it that's deeper than "do they kiss or not?"
It was also an attempt to actually finish a story with no characters swearing and lord knows I was tempted to drop f-bombs.
Holding It In Never Lets It Out
Applejack slammed the door shut, and trudged through the living room to the nearest chair, leaving a trail of water in her wake. She sat down and immediately started scowling. Apple Bloom came from the kitchen to find out what the noise was about, and found her sister soaking wet and very unhappy.
"What in tarnation happened?! Did you fall in a lake?" Apple Bloom asked.
"What? Oh, it's you, Apple Bloom." Applejack shook her head, scattering drops everywhere. "No, rainstorm."
Apple Bloom looked out the window. "Really? There ain't a cloud in the sky."
"Different story in the south field. Rains weren't scheduled 'till Thursday, but Rainbow Dash had different ideas apparently," Applejack said. "It's hard enough to get her to bring 'em on schedule, but this?"
"I know, it ain't like her," Apple Bloom said.
Applejack slumped into the chair, squeezing drops of water out of it. "You don't know the half of it. Yesterday she knocked apples down, and day before that she put the buckets into place. I thought it was weird, but, you know, she's offering to help for once in her life without needing to have things thrown at her."
Apple Bloom frowned. "Then, what's the problem?"
"What's the problem? She's cost me a whole day's work for pony's sake, that's the problem!" Applejack snapped. "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you, it's just... she's thrown off the whole week, and I'm going to have to tell Weather Patrol about this and... urgh."
"Also you're completely drenched." Apple Bloom added wisely.
"Oh dangnabbit! I'm going to the porch to calm down and dry off!" Applejack walked out, and closed the door behind her.
Not two seconds later she walked back in with a towel around her neck.
"Rainbow Dash?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Yes, and how wonderfully thoughtful of her." Applejack said acidly. "I don't know what's gotten in to her. Does she owe me something? Are we holding her family hostage? Apple Bloom, have we kidnapped anypony recently?"
Apple Bloom shrugged. "Just a few unicorns."
Applejack sighed. "Then that's probably not it. As nice as it is to have her help out without yelling at her first, she goes too far too fast and plays it far too loose."
"Then why not just tell her to stop?" Apple Bloom asked. "Heck, she's probably still right outside."
Applejack shook her head again, flinging more droplets. "That would help now, yeah, but it wouldn't answer why. Oh well, if it were something really big she'd tell me, right?
"What would she keep secret from me?"
