The Cop and the Princess

by Cold Hooves

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Anthro, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 3482

A detective for the NYPD is charged with teaching a lavender pony about humans and the greatest city in the world

A detective for the NYPD is charged with teaching a lavender pony about humans and the greatest city in the world. Follow Alexander Graves on his journey of love, loss, sex, violence, and everything else that makes the city what it is.

Published 2013-07-23 03:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-11 12:53:06 UTC

Welcome to New York

The Cop and the Princess

My name is Detective Alexander Graves, and this is my story. I live in a world quite different from yours, for starters humans share this world with creatures called Ponies. These Ponies are not like the kind you’re used to. Our Ponies walk on two legs, use magic or flight, and live in their own continent-country called Equestria located about a few hundred miles off of the eastern seaboard. In the beginning they stayed in Equestria where some say they belong, but after some time the opened up there doors and we mixed.

They taught us many things, the lost art of magic, weather control, and so much more. The Ponies eventually spread beyond there borders, that is when problems started. It was culture shock on both sides, and humans aren’t exactly hospitable when it comes new ideas. Since most adult ponies stand just a bit taller than a common human child we have a tendency to think we can out muscle them in a conflict, their use of magic tends to even the odds out. This is where I come in. I work for the Equestrian Crimes Department within NYPD. My job is to investigate crimes where both species are involved and suspected to be the source of conflict. In my line of work I have met a wide range of people and equines and if there is one thing it has taught me is this; both sides seem to hate the other equally. Like it or not that seems to be the case. This city’s always been a mix of cultures and violence with humans alone, adding Ponies only made the problem worse. Fortunately this city has me, and I’m damn good at my job. Although at times it bore me, but this adventure changed all of that.

This day started out like any other, I woke up, shifts started, I took my lunch break, then done. But, once my shift ended things started to get interesting. As I was walking my phone started to ring, I could tell by the ring it was my unit’s captain Gold Shield.

Before I could answer it I felt the all too familiar sensation of a shovel hitting me in the back of the head. The force alone would cause me to kneel over but the added pain forced me into darkness. The last thing I remember is hitting the pavement then the feeling of being lifted. I awoke what felt like felt like only a few minutes in the back of a limo. My hands and feet were bound and I was on my chest, I then started to examine my surroundings.

The floor was a pink shag rug that matched the interior lighting, God I hate Equestrian decor. I looked up to see eye to eye with my captors. Just as I inferred I was being held by Ponies, a pink mare who appeared to look sorry for me and a white stallion pressing a gun to the back of my head.

The mare knelt down to me and said “My apologies for the violence, we were told to expect some resistance. Allow me to introduce myself, I am Princess Cadence. Again, sorry for my husband Shinning Armor”.

Although her eyes seemed sincere, the fact that the brute behind me stole the gun out of its holster and was now taking me hostage with it ticked me off just a bit. “Sorry for not recognizing you” I said “Now I know when I get out of these binds to send the body” Although I started laughing at my own joke the sound of my revolver’s hammer being pulled back silenced me.
“We both know how difficult it is to get human blood out of shag, so how about we all act like adults and talk”.

Shining merely growled “Lay a hand on my wife and it will be the last move you make”

“Alright fine” I said.

As the Royal Guard undid my binds Princess Cadence started to help me up, I refused the help and lifted myself onto a seat. Looking into Shining Armor’s eyes I could tell he meant business, although his height and gaudy plate armor caused me to lose all respect for him. “My gun” I asked. Rolling his eyes he returned it to me.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why you’re here Mr.Graves” said Shinning, his mood quickly relaxed although I still to this date waiting for an apology. “Our leader Princess Celestia plans to send a student of hers over to the United States for research on human culture to better international relations. Since Manhattan is known as a cultural hotpot for all humans we figured here was a good place to start”

“That still dosn’t explain why you hit me and threw me into your limo” I retorted. I will admit I was mad for what happened, but the explanation I was given replaced most of it with interest.

Cadence spoke up although she sounded nervous, “We were hoping you could help us. We would need a guard and guide for the researcher, and you fit the bill. Cola?”. She grabbed a bottle from the mini-bar, sadly it didn’t have anything potent. I took the beverage from her as she continued.
“Your department is the only one we can trust and you’re single so you can devote your all of your free-time to the researcher and you have some skill with magic. Not to mention the fact you’re also pretty handy with that gun from what I was told”. I normally say no to flattery but something about this job seemed worth my time.

“Who will I be working with?” I asked putting down my drink.

“My sister Princess Twilight Sparkle” Shinning responded.

I took another sip than pressed for more information, “So you want me to waste my free-time, and my food budget babysitting some mare? I’m going to need an incentive”

The pink mare sitting across from me narrowed her eyes, “Canterlot is willing to offer you substantial compensation for your time, along with refunding all expenses. As further incentive we will be upgrading your living conditions free of charge”

“How much will I be payed directly?” I really didn’t need to ask, It looked like this job could provide me with something to occupy my time with

She could tell by now that I was interested “Triple your annual salary. Along with a 5 year lease on an apartment on 69th street. How is that for payment”

“Well... we’ll see what my boss thinks”

“You’re captain is already aware of our offer. She was more than cooperative” as the princess filled me in on the details I felt the limo come to an abrupt stop. “It appears we have reached your new home. I will send Twilight to you by this evening. I assume after meeting her you will take our offer, tomorrow I’ll call to check in”

I smile and nodded “Thank you, I’m looking forward to meeting her”

Walking into the flashy hotel I was greeted by the doorman, a young stallion green mane and yellow coat. I asked him about my room and was given a set of keys. The number Q12 was crudely written in sharpy that came off in my hands. After a long elevator ride, longer than my old place in queens I stepped out of halls and into my room, to my surprise most of my stuff was there. Never doubt portal magic.

One of the newer amenities was the flat screen and cable. Looking around the rest of the apartment I found an island kitchen, a bedroom, and a fully stocked fridge. Everything I would ever need. Grabbing a bud I sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. As usual nothing good, even with 250 more channels. After channel surfing for a few ours I decided a nap was the only way to kill time before my charge would get here.

Sleep was only a brief interval as I heard a knocking at the door. I rolled off the couch and fell onto the floor, steadying myself I walked to the door and opened it. Standing before me was a lavender alicorn mare and the door mare lugging her bags. “Hi, my name is Twilight Sparkle. Whats your name?” she said in a sweet voice holding our her right hand. Shaking it I led her inside.

“Graves” I responded closing the door behind my new guest. Less than five minutes in she begins analyzing everything, poking things with her pen and writing things down in her equally lavender journal.

“So this is a normal human apartment?” she questioned

I meekly responded “Yes?”

“Fascinating” the mare said jotting things down in her book. “So where will I sleep?”

Upon hearing this I noticed this apparent had only one bedroom. Before making a statement I saw her unpacking in what was going to be my room. I was already too tired to bother arguing so I re-passed out on my couch and mentally prepared for work tomorrow.

God help me.
-Graves

Class. part 1

Case‭ ‬1:‭ ‬Class

I awoke the morning to the sound of my phone‭’‬s alarm going off in my pocket,‭ ‬7:00‭ ‬wake up time same as always.‭ ‬In the next room I could hear Twilight stirring at the sound of my alarm,‭ ‬I‭’‬ll let her sleep for now.‭ ‬Operating on force-of-habit despite the new accommodations I turned on the TV and set to‭ ‬my usual morning show‭; ‬Mornnin‭’‬ Manhattan.‭ ‬As the channel came on I was greeted by the usual,‭ ‬cheery face of the shows hostess.

‭“Good morning to you all I’m Kate Grant the current temperature is 55F and this is the morning news” faded out of my mind as I dragged myself past Twilight dragging herself out of my bed. Stepping into the bathroom I got a look at myself in the mirror. Before me stood the same old cop with the same old mug since the academy. Deciding not to change a thing I turned on the shower as I heard Twilight from the next room.

‭“What’s for breakfast?” she called out. That’s when another shock hit me.

I muttered‭ “‬I‭ ‬haven‭’‬t made breakfast in‭ ‬3‭ ‬years‭”‬ to myself than striped out of my clothes and stepped into the shower.‭ ‬Keeping my show quick I stepped out‭ ‬5‭ ‬minutes latter and saw something I rather wish I didn‭’‬t see.‭ ‬A certain mare sketching a certain naked detective.
‭“Out!” I shouted with a roar reserved solely for suspects. She scampered away and dropped her book. Reaching down I picked it up and glanced over the page she was using. It looked like crude notes about human anatomy featuring me as a diagram. I was torn between admiring how well my goatee was captured and the invasion of my privacy. Remembering the intrusions by my curious sister during my teens I was used to this and simmered down quickly.

With a towel around my waist I entered the kitchen where Twilight was waiting and taping nervously.‭ ‬Tossing her book back I growled‭ “‬All is forgiven.‭ ‬Now shower up and get dressed‭”

“Uh...‭ ‬I don‭’‬t normally wear clothes‭”‬ she said in response.

I chuckled at this.‭ “‬In the dead of a New York winter ya’ do‭”‬ I remarked then patted her on the head on the way to my room.‭ ‬Sorting through my cloths I put together my grey suit remembering the shoulder holster and the matching overcoat I exited my room and waited for Twilight.‭

“Oh and about breakfast I know a stand outside of the Equestrian Crimes‭ ‬Bureau‭”‬ I shouted.‭ ‬Awaiting her return I worked her sketch over in my mind,‭ ‬what got me most was her attention to detail,‭ ‬including‭ ‬the scars on my left arm.‭ ‬Pondering if she just used me as a model for some diagram or curiosity in the more “intimate” uses of the human form.‭ ‬While I can‭’‬t say that I've never felt feelings for a pony I‭’‬m still tempted by that dinner offer from Detective‭ ‬Carol O‭’‬hare.‭ ‬Removing the thought of office romance for a bit I felt my phone ring.‭

Looking down I saw a text from the doorman saying‭ “‬The pretty princess lady said to have your car ready by this time today.‭ ‬You still want it‭?”‬.‭ ‬Thankful that my Charger was brought over I called for my guest and she came storming out.‭

Twilight was wearing a fluffy brown jacket covering her wings along with matching pants and a green scarf. I remember my niece wearing something like that last week,

‭“Cute” I said walking out of the apartment with her. We both got into the elevator with another family, all human traveling with a toddler who seemed very interested in Twilight. I leaned against the wall and tapped along to the elevator’s music then the mare broke silence.

“So...‭ ‬what do you drive‭? ‬Can I drive‭? ‬I know you may have some reservations but rest‭ ‬assured I passed multiple test and I know all of th-‭”‬ rambled the princess until I put my hand over her mouth.

‭“No way in hell you’re driving my car. The ol’ girls gotten me out a few jams before and she stays with me” I responded strong but politely. Just as we stopped on the street level we walked into the lab and saw my cruiser parked out front. The black 2011 Doge Charger. Sure in the driveway it stuck out a bit compared to the BMWs, Benzs, and the Royce near the end but she was mine.

Sitting down I reached for my keys and started her.‭ ‬The engine came to live causing a small,‭ ‬almost gasp from Twilight.‭ ‬Pulling onto‭ ‬69th street I began chatting with Twi.‭ “‬See many cars in Equestrian‭?”

“Back in Canterlot I would occasionally see a few cars and even less in Ponyville.‭ ‬I can‭’‬t say I‭’‬m much of a fan.‭”‬ Twilight answered.‭ ‬I chuckled at this response.‭ “‬By the way have you heard anything from Customs‭? ‬A few of my things were a little difficult‭ ‬to get into the country and Cadence left your number there‭”

“Can‭’‬t say I have,‭ ‬can‭’‬t say I have‭”‬.‭ ‬Ending with that thought I saw the entrance to the ECB‭’‬s underground park,‭ ‬one the of amenities the city‭’‬s gave us despite the‭ “‬relatively young‭”‬ status of our squad compared to the others.‭ ‬Part of the reason we don‭’‬t operate out of‭ ‬1PP‭ ‬.‭ ‬The ECB was mostly an experiment and a bit of joke after the‭ “‬Manhattan Church of The Two Sisters riots‭”‬.‭ ‬After this incident the city began tearing itself apart and Bias Crimes‭ ‬became overwhelmed due to the double workload.‭ ‬So they threw our department together,‭ ‬operating out of a temp office and understaffed we worked with a team of old veterans,‭ ‬Fresh-out-the-box detectives,‭ ‬and skilled agents on loan from Equestrian Intelligence who co-funded us.‭ ‬Since our founding‭ ‬15‭ ‬years ago we have worked with city residents and politicians to improve the relations between ponies and humans.‭ ‬Now we have our own office,‭ ‬crime lab,‭ ‬Arcane Forensics Lab,‭ ‬and many other perks for saving this city from itself.

After parking and taking an elevator up to the‭ ‬10th floor the greeting we received from my fellow officers was the usual nod until they saw Twilight,‭ ‬then I became a lot more popular.
Leaving Twi to the mob I walked passed the desks in the main floor and found mine.‭ ‬Logging into my computer I saw Gold Shield and Carol O‭’H‬are approach me.‭ ‬Not paying them any mind I continued sorting through my work e-mails until I was interrupted by a folder slamming down on my keyboard.‭ ‬Deciding to glance up my eyes met with my captain‭’‬s.

Gold Shield‭’‬s the captain in charge of Equestrian Crimes‭ ‬Bureau,‭ ‬has been for the past‭ ‬4‭ ‬years.‭ ‬Don‭’‬t let her golden coat and silver mane fool you,‭ ‬she‭’‬s harden cop and a founding member of the ECB.‭ ‬Not to mention one of the first dozen mares on the force.‭ ‬While Carol O‭’‬Hare is one the newer investigators (and one of the few here who no magical abilities),‭ ‬along with her skills as a cop she also is well versed in human and pony psychology from her pervious job as a therapist but decided to join the ECB as our staff psychologist.‭ T‬his life change came after she found that her job had no meaning in her life,‭ ‬and would rather arrest people‭’‬s problems rather than talk it out.

‭“You and the princess have a case: a beating in central park of two children. A Pegasus filly and a Caucasian boy, along with an unknown female witness who called it in. Dr.Mortus and Igor are already on the scene. Head out there when you can. By the way someone from ICE called about some cleared good in your name regarding your tagalong. What do you want me to say?”

I‭ ‬sighed‭ “‬Send them over to my place‭”‬.‭ ‬Clearing my throat I raised my voice‭ “‬Twilight we‭’‬re leaving.‭ ‬Gather your things‭”

“Already‭?”‬ she whined back as I logged out.‭ ‬Checking my phone for direction I headed out to my car then sped off lights blaring.

‭ Arriving at the scene I approached the taped off box and approached the victim sporting a lovely medical blanket covering her head. Immediately I was approached by a tall man with white coat with “CSU Medical Examiner” stitched on the back. This man was Dr.Mortus, Medical examiner hired by the ECB and kept for his skill, discretion, and blunt observation. Although he has given most of his skill to the cause I sense there is more to this man then I am aware of. As I approached the stiff he handed me a file then started to recite its content from memory.

‭ “Victim is a Pegasus filly aged 15 appearing with multiple stomp wounds and blunt force trauma to both sides of her body consistent with stomp and kick damage from heeled shoes. Size of the bruises indicate multiple assailants with sizes ranging from 9 to 11. Bleeding on some wounds indicate a painful death and postmortem mutilation. Possibility of deliberate hate-crime is 99.4%. Other vic is a Caucasian male aged 14 present with similar but less sever injuries and is till alive and being treated at Mercy General. Foot prints corroborates multiple assailants hypothesis, Witness who called assault was not found at scene and most likely pursued by assailants. Any questions?”

I laughed at his habit of doing that.‭ “‬Igor your thoughts‭?”‬ I called out.

Just as I shouted out a gray Bat Pony perked up from examining the‭ ‬footprints a bit off in the distance.‭ “‬Exactly as report says‭”‬ he replied then went back to work.‭ ‬This little thing is Igor,‭ ‬Mortus‭’‬ main intern.‭ ‬He belongs to a family of Bat-ponies who‭ ‬fled from Luna back‭ ‬1000‭ ‬years ago.‭ ‬His affiliation and loyalty to the city are without doubt although his‭ ‬stoic nature‭ ‬towards the job can be off putting.

‭“How can you tell this was a hate crime?” asked Twilight cautiously approaching the body.

Mortus pulled off the blanket,‭ ‬drew a pointer from his jacket and poke at the mutilated wings.‭ ‬“Most of the damage to wings was done after the victim died,‭ ‬this is often the sing of‭ ‬Pegasus oriented attacks. Along with the being stepped there are signs of dislocation associated with wing removal-by-force. You don‭’‬t‭ ‬want to see the Unicorns I get on my slab‭”‬.‭ ‬Once the color returned to Twi‭’‬s face I looked over the items on the vic‭’‬s person.

As usual I find the useless bits that one normally finds on a person along with the ID‭ ‬something‭ ‬else‭ ‬caught my eye,‭ ‬an arcane amulet.‭ ‬The amulet was a sky-blue gem cut in the shape of the‭ ‬Pegasus‭ ‬with‭ ‬a silver chain looping though the chest.‭ ‬I may not be much of the mage but I know an amulet when‭ ‬I‭ ‬feel one.‭ ‬This particular amulet was drained of what little magic was in it.

Meanwhile Twilight unable to look at the body started looking around the scene‭ ‬and found a set of foot-prints.‭ ‬Using her magic to‭ ‬illuminate‭ ‬them.‭

“Have arcane forensics look this thing over.‭ ‬Alright CSU rap up the show here and send the evidence to where it‭ ‬belongs‭! ‬Twi,‭ ‬pack up your things and lets head to Mercy‭” I shouted as I used my cruiser’s remote start and ran to it.

With Twilight in tow I made my way to Mercy Hospital where hopefuly I could get some answers about what happened here.

The truth will not escape me

-Graves

Author's Note

I was thinking of putting this up in a group. Anyone here know what group this fiasco would fit in?