Apprentice Ship

Chapters

A Personal Lesson
The Talk
Smashing Wine
Wherein Snuggles Lie
Whipped Cream
Post Credits Scene

A Personal Lesson

Celestia released a heavy sigh as the massive, ornate doors to the throne room closed behind her. Finally, at long last, court was adjourned for the day. The thought immediately brought a smile to her face.

Two stone-faced guards stood in front of her. They waited patiently for her, as they did every day, to choose a destination so that they might accompany their ruler. Celestia acknowledged them with the usual soft nod of her head, prompting them to fall in line on either side of her as she set forth down the hallway.

From the outside, one might assume that Celestia always wore the same mood. That eternally soft expression that could fill a room with warmth if gentleness could actually produce heat. However, anypony that spent a regular amount of time with her could talk for hours of the countless little nuances and details that served to express her true mood. It wasn’t the kind of thing one might learn in a week, or even a month, but Celestia had a certain tell for every single activity that she would partake in with any sense of regularity.

Today’s expression was one that her guards had come to know all too well recently. The grin from ear to ear, the light bounce in her trot, and the little melody she was humming in time with each step all added up to one thing: a visit from Twilight Sparkle.

Okay, so it was more than a simple tell. It was still the precise reaction Celestia had every time her student came to visit.

The trio made their way through the maze-like halls of the castle until their ultimate destination had been reached. Awaiting their arrival, in front of the ornate door that marked the threshold to Celestia’s private quarters, was a certain lavender unicorn.

“Princess!” Twilight exclaimed.

Celestia was quick to bring her student into an embrace, their necks craned as each sought the comforting warmth of the other. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Celestia wanted to correct Twilight, to request a less formal state of address, but the more reasonable part of her mind reminded her that she had already tried. The embrace ended, “It is good to see you again, Twilight. Are you prepared for this week’s lesson?” The white alicorn’s eyes traced her student’s form, stopping to linger on her sides. Celestia couldn’t shake the feeling that something was... off.

The unicorn nodded with vigor. “Of course! I’ve studied all the materials you gave me very thoroughly.”

Somehow, Celestia’s smile grew even wider. “I’m glad to hear that.” With a flash of golden magic, the door to Celestia’s quarters swung open. Twilight followed what had become a routine and entered the room. “As usual, no interruptions, please.” Celestia ordered her guards before following her student and shutting the door.

A series of spells were woven around Celestia’s personal chambers to not only prevent sounds from passing through the walls, but also to prevent unwanted intrusions from nearly anything save for a dragonfire missive. Such wards had proven to be a great luxury to Celestia over the years.

Before Celestia could thank her forethought to place such wards, before she could even take in the sight of her own room, she was immediately distracted by the sensation of something brushing against the underside of her barrel. It was something pointy, she noted, and was promptly followed by the feeling of something soft and silky caressing that very same area. A gentle “Mmm,” escaped her lips as Celestia’s eyes drifted down to meet Twilight’s gaze.

“Step one in the art of seduction, begin with something unexpected.” Twilight spoke with a sultry tone.

Celestia raised her brows in surprise. “I see you are finally taking the initiative, Twilight. Perhaps you are ready for a more difficult test tonight.”

The unicorn’s posture immediately shifted to resemble that of an excitable filly. The sparkle in her eyes was all the answer Celestia needed.

“Tonight,” Celestia began before allowing her voice to sink to a deep, sensual tone, “you must answer every question from your lessons without me telling you anything.” Celestia lowered her head to whisper into student’s ear. “Show me how you would apply your lessons outside a classroom.”

The warm breath against her ears sent a small shiver down Twilight’s spine. Celestia teased her student by gently flicking the lavender ear with her tongue before withdrawing. The alicorn strutted over to the large, plush pillow in the center of the room, hips swaying with every step. She plopped down onto the pillow and closed her eyes as she waited for Twilight to take charge.

The wait was not long. Two hooves pressed down on her croup. Celestia pushed back against the firm pressure as the hooves began moving in circles, pressing deeper into her muscles. The gentle rocking slowly built into a relaxing rhythm. The alabaster mare groaned as the hooves shifted their work to her hindquarters. As the firm circular motion worked past her cutie mark and into the sore muscles, a ripple of pleasure began to build. Celestia hadn’t known the area was quite so sore, but the seemingly endless hours of sitting on her throne during court had clearly been more taxing on her rump than she had thought.

With her eyes still closed, Celestia began to visualize her precious Twilight as the unicorn’s tender hooves crept across her flank to the base of her wings. Again, something in the back of her mind began to nag at her. Something wasn't quite right... but Celestia found herself unable to concentrate on that thought as her student proceeded to the next phase of her assignment. She could feel the warmth of Twilight’s body as the lavender unicorn’s barrel slid to rest on her croup. The magical work of the pair of hooves stopped briefly as Twilight squirmed a bit to reposition her hind legs. The massage began again as the hooves pressed into the wonderfully sensitive spot between her wings. The small ripple of pleasure began to grow.

At first, Celestia’s wings tensed, her muscles tightened reflexively to the sudden light touch. Twilight carefully caressed area over, and over, increasing the pressure slightly every few passes. Her wings twitched as she began to relax. Suddenly, the muscles gave up their fight and acquiesced their well-being to Twilight’s tender touch. Celestia’s wings slumped open onto the pillow as she released a long moan of pleasure, her head tilted backwards as the tension escaped her body.

Twilight continued her work happily as Celestia imagined a pleased smile on the unicorn’s face. Although Celestia would have protested that any ending to the masterful touch between her wings was entirely too soon, Twilight eventually did cease. It allowed Celestia a moment of composure as she furled her wings back to her sides. The warm body atop her began to shift once more as Twilight squirmed her way forward. Back legs squeezed against the marked, white haunches, adding another ripple to the mounting wave of desire. The pressure was released as Twilight continued her journey across the soft, white, expanse of fur and feathers.

Twilight made camp with her hind legs holding a pair of downy-soft wings in place, while her forelegs curled over Celestia’s shoulders. Without warning, Twilight launched a purely sensual assault. Teeth gently pressed down on Celestia’s ear; air swiftly entered her lungs in a gasp as the wave picked up its pace. Next, was the biggest surprise.

The warmth vanished. Celestia’s eyes shot open as she felt herself surrounded in Twilight’s magical grip. Celestia was lifted up and flipped onto her back before being placed back onto the pillow. It was a slightly embarrassing feeling that, when combined with the predatory look on her student’s face, left her feeling both vulnerable and aroused. Celestia allowed her eyes to trace every curve of Twilight’s body as the unicorn moved closer and closer to her prize.

That was when the pieces fell into place.

Celestia awoke with a startled gasp. As her senses returned from their sleep-induced haze, she became acutely aware of just how warm she was. Covers flew off the bed as the solar diarch made a beeline towards the door. Only one thought was on her mind now. She needed to have a talk with her sister.

Celestia stomped her way down the halls, guards and castle staff watching with both awe and fear at the sight of the master of the sun being angry.

Two bat-winged pegasi were shoved aside with her magic before they could even protest. The door to Luna’s sanctum opened and Celestia stormed in. The midnight alicorn looked up from the pile of books she was buried in to find her sister staring at her with more than a mild case of irritation. Instinctively, Luna’s magic closed the door, completing the barrier of soundproofing and similar spells found in her sister’s room. The younger sister was unable to hold back a steadily growing smirk.

Celestia’s voice promptly boomed with the volume of the Traditional Royal Canterlot Voice. “Luna, how many times must I tell you!? Twilight has wings now!”

Author's Note

A cute little idea that I just had to write down before it drove me crazy.

Enjoy.

Feedback is always welcome.

The Talk

“You know, sister, you could avoid all this trouble if you’d stop being so stubborn.”

“I am not being stubborn, Luna.”

The younger sister sighed heavily. “If that is how you wish to be, then we shall have to continue this dance until you are willing to open up in earnest.”

“There is nothing to talk about,” Celestia retorted as her gaze hardened to a glare.

Not willing to give her sister the satisfaction of glaring at her, Luna cheerily returned her own gaze to the pile of books on her bed. She pretended to read in an effort to frustrate her older sister. As the minutes passed in silence, Luna could practically feel her sister’s patience wearing out.

“Luna, I am not leaving until we talk about this.” Celestia was particularly intent on settling this matter today. Unbeknownst to the alabaster alicorn, so too was Luna.

Although Celestia’s tone was even, Luna knew her sister well enough to pick up on the firmness in her voice. It was the type of tone Celestia used when she was trying to hide her frustration. The smirk Luna had been wearing grew into a full blown smile. Between the thinly veiled irritation, and Celestia's choice of words, the midnight alicorn knew that she had already won.

Luna spoke without looking up from her faux reading, “So, shall we discuss why you have no qualms with your dreams consisting almost entirely of sexual fantasies about Twilight Sparkle, or would you like to dance around the subject for an hour while I slowly whittle away your excuses for not admitting your romantic feelings for her?”

Much to Luna’s surprise, her sister’s answer came not with words, but with a golden glow from her horn. Luna’s pile of books were swiftly lifted from her bed and deposited on the floor. As the glow faded, the midnight alicorn watched as Celestia lay down next to her. A dark blue wing draped over her sister’s back as Luna leaned into Celestia’s side. “Whenever you are ready to speak, I am here to listen.”

Neither alicorn bothered to count the minutes as they ticked away in silence. It was a minor respite from the heavy conversation to follow.

Finally, Celestia’s courage peaked. Her head plopped down onto the soft bed, a sigh escaped with the last of her resistance. “Luna, I’m terrible at romance.” The midnight wing tensed, pulling their bodies even closer.

“I am not certain I follow.”

“I was a complete mess when I lost you, Luna. I ended up shutting everypony out of my life. I...” Celestia trailed off as memories began to flood her mind. She blinked back the tears that were forming and raised her head before continuing. “For nearly twenty years I was little more than a shadow of myself. Without you, nothing felt as warm.” This time, the memory was too strong; tears began to flow.

“Eventually, I realized that I was not the only one who was hurting. My little ponies were growing afraid that I would end up falling like you had.” Celestia paused, allowing that thought to sink into Luna’s mind. The midnight wing pulled even tighter. “I knew that I had to do something, for their sake, as well as my own.

“At the time, there was a station in the royal guard referred to as ‘princess attendant’. The whole point of it was to ensure that I had somepony with me at all times in the hope that it might keep me from feeling too lonely without you around.”

“It does not sound like that worked very well,” Luna remarked.

Celestia chuckled slightly, recognizing the jab as her sister’s attempt at sarcastic humor. “Not at first, no. However, once I decided to take action, I was glad to have such an opportunity. It started as little more than a few awkward attempts at conversation, and eventually grew into a relationship that I could not do without. He was a remarkable stallion...” The solar alicorn trailed off again, once more revisiting her memories.

Luna cleared her throat. “Please feel free to continue when you are done fantasizing about your old lover.” The younger sister grinned as Celestia’s face flushed with red.

“Y-yes, of course.”

The silence grew awkward as Celestia closed her eyes. The silence was soon replaced with a series of sensual moans from the solar mare. Luna could feel the awkwardness increasing with every sound her sister made. The midnight mare cleared her throat once more.

“I said no visitors,” Celestia replied before her moaning continued.

“Sister!”

Celestia’s eyes fluttered open. “Y-yes?”

“I’d appreciate if you would continue your story,” the younger sister deadpanned.

A slight frown appeared on the solar mare’s face. “But you said I could finish fantasizing,” she retorted. Not even Luna’s dark coat could hide her furious blushing. “You know,” Celestia continued as a devious grin crept onto her lips, “for all the toying around you did with my dreams these last few months, you sure do blush easily, sister.”

Luna closed her eyes, avoiding her older sister’s teasing gaze, as she tried to steer her mind away from unwanted avenues of thought. “I-it’s not like I enjoy such lascivious thoughts about you. Besides, you know very well that I don’t have to directly view a dream to glean information from it, much less to influence it.”

Luna’s eyes shot open at the sudden warmth against her cheek. To her surprise, she was now cheek to cheek with her sister.

“You know, Luna, I’m glad you’ve managed to lighten up since your return.” Celestia continued to surprise her younger sister by rubbing their cheeks together. “And I dare say you’re taking better care of your coat these days. I don’t remember you being so silky.”

Luna’s composure faltered. “At least you haven’t lost your skill at trying to avoid sensitive subjects,” she snapped.

The awkward gesture ceased. A flash of gold smoothed the ruffled coats back into place. Celestia released a heavy sigh. “And it seems you still see through me like nopony else.”

Luna leaned in and rested her head against her sister. “Nopony else has had to deal with your antics as much as I have.”

“It sounds like I owe you an apology–”

Luna swiftly interrupted, “Don’t even think about it. I wouldn’t trade our time together for anything.”

Time crept along at its own pace as the pair of smiling siblings sat in a blissful silence. It was a rare treat for the two to be able to simply enjoy each other’s presence and neither wished to disturb the moment.

Guiltily, Celestia continued her story. “I know it was foolish, but he was everything I needed back then.”

Luna shifted her gaze slightly to look up at her sister. “Hmm?”

A wistful tone pervaded Celestia’s voice. “He listened without judgement. He consoled me without an ulterior motive. He loved me for who I was, not because of what I was.” A smile curled her lips upward as she remembered him.

“Trying to make me jealous now?”

Luna’s reply snapped Celestia back to the present. Her horn lit with a golden glow. A parchment and quill levitated in front of her. The quill set to work scratching an image into the paper. A few moments later, the parchment floated in front of Luna.

Luna’s head tilted to one side, then the other. Neither view helped her discern what she was looking at.

Seeing her sister’s confusion, Celestia spoke. “This is me,” she pointed at the larger figure, “and this is him,” she pointed at the smaller figure.

“What is this third drawing?” Luna asked.

“His size.”

Luna’s eyes widened. “Oh...”

Her smile dipped. “Losing him was... difficult.”

“Death is not an easy thing to deal with, but I fail to see how that reflects poorly on your romantic ability.”

Celestia turned her head away from Luna. “I didn’t lose him to death. I lost him because I was too blind to see what being close to me was doing to him.”

Luna frowned.

“At first, we kept our relationship a secret. Eventually, I slipped up and revealed that we we romantically involved.” Her smile dipped further. “Nobles were unhappy because he was a ‘commoner’, and many of the royal guard accused him of receiving preferential treatment. I was so foolish back then. I thought that speaking out and publicly praising him would dissuade their jealousy of him.”

Silence pervaded the room once more. Luna knew there was nothing she could say that would help, so she settled for wrapping a foreleg over her sister’s shoulders.

“He put up with the pressure for nearly four years. To this day, I cannot fathom how he managed for so long...” Celestia turned her head back to face Luna. “We parted amicably, assuming me sobbing like a filly into a pillow counts as amicable.” The concerned look on Luna’s visage was enough to tell Celestia that her attempt at a joke had not gone over well.

“Sister, that is horrible–”

Celestia interjected, “No, no. I was trying to make a joke.” Luna’s expression softened. “I can see I wasn’t clear enough to make it worth laughing at. We truly did part on peaceful terms. He was remarkable to the end. I was sad, yes, but I could never blame him for leaving. I truly did not deserve him.”

Luna swiftly chided Celestia. “Sister, one bad experience does not mean you are terminally bad with romance.”

“If only it was just the one time...”

Luna sighed. She had known that her sister was holding onto bad memories, but she hadn’t imagined it would be quite so tricky get her talk about them. Regardless, it was her duty as a sister to see to Celestia’s wellbeing. No matter how long it might take, Luna was determined to drag out every foul memory that was poisoning her sister’s judgement and beat them into submission. If there was one thing that Luna had learned in her life, it was that the mistakes of the past should never hold you back from finding happiness.

“Then tell me about these other times. You will certainly feel better if you talk about them with me.” Luna retracted her foreleg back to a more comfortable position.

Celestia’s response was not immediate. “I believe it was around two hundred years after he left that I began looking for another partner. I thought I would find somepony that was more acclimated to political stress. I found a particularly handsome noble stallion and made a move on him.”

Luna noticed that Celestia wasn’t smiling while she mentioned this stallion.

“He was intelligent and charismatic. Our conversations were very enjoyable...”

When Celestia did not continue, Luna knew this stallion had been trouble. “And what else?”

“Before we were together, he was a much less selfish individual. It only took a few months of being close to me before he fell victim to the temptations of power and greed. He began to abuse his connection to me when he thought I wouldn’t notice.”

Luna was unable to resist the scowl that tugged at her lips. “And you put him in his place for this behavior, yes?”

The solar mare closed her eyes and shook her head. “No. I fell prey to the same selfishness. I didn’t want to lose somepony close to me again... I just ignored everything he did right until the end.”

“For how long?”

“It was only a few weeks after I found out what he was doing that the noble families of Canterlot came to me with a list of grievances towards him. ” Celestia allowed her head to fall down onto the bed once more. “It turned out that he was very busy with his abuse. To appease them, I had to strip him of his position, his wealth, his possessions, and dissolve his family.” Celestia’s next words were punctuated with stream of tears flowing down her face. “I ruined the lives of dozens of ponies who had done nothing wrong, all because I refused to act; because I was too selfish to do the right thing.”

Luna was quick to embrace her sister in a near crushing hug. “Tis fine, sister. No need to hold back anymore.” A series of sobs tugged at Luna’s heart as centuries of pent up regret flowed outward like rivers. As each was swept up in the memories of their mistakes, neither mare could find the will to speak.

Although the memory was painful, Celestia couldn’t help but feel a twinge of relief. Having somepony there to listen, somepony she knew would not judge her for her failure, brought a strange sense of catharsis. That realization brought a tiny smile to her face. Perhaps, Celestia mused to herself, it was time to share the story of her final romantic burden. After all, who better to tell than the one she trusted most? Slowly, the tears subsided. Celestia took a deep breath, and prepared herself for her final tale.

“Luna,” Celestia broke the silence, “there is one more failure you should know about.”

The younger mare’s embrace loosened slightly, her head pulled back just enough to gaze up at her sister’s face. The miniscule smile Celestia wore seemed to contradict the melancholic tone of her words, but that just made her message clearer than the finest glasses of the Crystal Empire. Luna knew that she was truly helping, that her sister was at last finding relief from these long carried burdens of her past mistakes. Quickly, she nuzzled against her sister’s neck, wiping away the forming tears of joy in the smooth, white coat before they could interrupt Celestia’s tale.

Celestia’s smile widened at her sister’s comforting gesture. She swallowed her hesitation and pressed forward. “It was around four hundred years ago that I had taken up my last paramour.” Luna was quick to note the combination of happiness and regret in Celestia’s voice.

Celestia continued after a small silence. “I wanted to distance myself from my previous failures as much as possible, so I wound up falling for a very humble earth pony mare.” A series of tiny laughs escaped the white muzzle, doing much to liven the atmosphere of the room. “I wish you could have been there to see the looks on the nobles’ faces when they found out. I don’t think I’ll ever forget those expressions.

“Anyway, about her… In many ways, she was the most unremarkable mare you’d ever meet.” An expression of warmth washed over the solar mare’s face and seemingly trickled down to relax her entire body. “Yet, she is one pony I could never forget. She was kind, patient… attentive.” A very obvious blush took hold of Celestia’s face as she spoke that last word.

Not willing to fail in her duties as a sister, Luna spoke up. “Shall I leave you to play with your thoughts, or will you be skipping the sensual fantasy part of the retelling this time?”

Celestia simply chuckled softly. “Alright, I get it. I promise I won’t get distracted this time.” Luna’s victorious grin was enough to bring the older mare her own sense of satisfaction. It was difficult for Celestia to even fathom just how much she had missed little moments like this. She allowed her body to relax in the comforting knowledge that she truly did have Luna back. In response to the command, her body rolled slightly to one side, leaning in against her younger sister’s body. Celestia felt Luna trying to adjust her balance for the sudden extra pressure. Suddenly, Luna pushed back until the situation was reversed. Celestia responded in kind until the two were deadlocked.

“You’re as heavy as ever, sister.” Luna quipped, a playful edge pervading her voice.

Celestia grinned. “I’d take offense to that if you didn’t eat nearly twice as much as I do.”

“Unlike you, I actually work out enough to justify my caloric intake!”

“You know, Luna, you might have more luck finding suitors if you let your rump round out a bit.”

“Ha!” Luna scoffed, “You have enough rump for the both of us!”

Celestia closed her eyes and turned her head upward with a fake sense of haughtiness. “I’ll have you know that my proportions are considered the height of beauty in Equestria.”

A sly grin slipped on the younger sister’s face. “Oh? Is that why most fashion models are currently striving to mimic my proportions?” The expression of shock on her older sister’s face was priceless.

“S-since when?”

“At least a year now, possibly more.” Not willing to let the flames of embarrassment subside, Luna added more fuel. “Even our niece, Cadance has opted for my figure over yours.”

Celestia’s jaw fell slack at that realization. Somehow, she had allowed the unthinkable to happen. She had failed to notice the signs. “How did I let this happen? How could I have been so negligent as to let small rumps become fashionable!?”

And just like that, Luna was lost.

Before the midnight alicorn could react, Celestia had descended into a fit of dramatics. “Luna, where did I go wrong? Did I not do everything I could have to show my little ponies the glorious truth, that soft, round rumps are the path to true happiness?”

Luna shook her head to attempt to clear the dazing effect of her sister’s reaction. “Sister, surely you are overreacting–”

Luna was interrupted as she suddenly found herself muzzle to muzzle with her sister. “Small rumps means I have to conform to new standards, standards that mean I can’t eat cake.”

Luna glared sarcastically back at Celestia. “Now I know you’re just being silly.”

Somehow, the gap between their faces grew even smaller. “I am not giving up cake!” Celestia exclaimed with the most serious expression Luna had ever seen on her sister.

Now more than slightly concerned, Luna knew she had to diffuse the situation. “I am certain that I have heard Twilight Sparkle mention a preference for shapely posteriors.” It was a lie. Luna had heard the young alicorn say no such thing, but that didn’t stop her from saying so with her best poker face.

Before the elder sister pulled away, Luna could swear she felt the heat rising from her sister’s cheeks as a heavy blush set in. “R-really?” Celestia hesitated briefly. “My Twilight said that?”

Luna raised a brow in curiosity. “So, is that a formal claim you are placing on Twilight, or is she still up for grabs?” Luna found it immensely enjoyable watching Celestia fumble with her words repeatedly in an attempt to respond. In the end, Celestia settled for silence and an aversion to direct eye contact as her final answer.

After uncounted minutes of silence, Luna decided to probe her sister for more information. “So, you were telling me of a third lover you took in my absence.” This earned her a break in the silence. Eye contact continued to remain elusive.

“She had a talent for beauty. Not personal beauty, but being able to bring out the beauty of things around her. She helped me design the Canterlot gardens. Everything from the hedge maze, to the flora garden where numerous species of animals have taken up residence.” Celestia released a heavy sigh. “She’s also the reason for the statue garden.”

Luna didn’t miss the tint of sadness in that last statement. Celestia had regarded this story as one of her failures, so what if the garden was a clue? Discord’s statue had been in that garden until he was freed, but that would mean he was being kept elsewhere before this mare came along. Suddenly, Luna remembered overhearing a question Twilight Sparkle had asked her sister: “What did Discord mean when he said that ‘at least he didn’t turn ponies to stone’?” If such a statement had been directed at Celestia... Just then, a particularly terrible thought crossed her mind. She didn’t want to throw around such an awful accusation, but, in the end, curiosity won out. “Sister, tell me you didn’t…”

Celestia turned her head even farther away from her sister.

When no answer came, Luna felt the pain of sadness tinged with anger coursing through her. “Celestia! Tell me you didn’t turn that poor mare to stone!”

“Not permanently.” Celestia answered in a dejected tone. The words hung thick in the air, tinting the atmosphere with an uncomfortable silence.

Luna fought to keep the bile from rising from her gut. She spoke in a measured, even tone. “Why?”

“She had a rare illness.” Celestia replied calmly. “There was no way to cure it, not even with my magic.” Celestia felt her throat constrict as the pain and sadness of her past came rushing forth, wracking her body in a sobbing fit of tears. She swallowed once, twice. She managed to push through the emotional wall and continue. “I barely had time to know her. We were only together for two years before… before it struck her.

She swallowed once more. “Her health was declining rapidly, though, outwardly, there was no sign anything was wrong. I…” Celestia buried her head in her hooves, desperately hoping it would hide her shame. “I didn’t want my last memory of her to be of a frail and dying mare, to be of a shadow of what she truly was.”

“Sister…”

“So I t-turned her into a statue.” Another fit of sadness wracked the older mare’s body. Her only source of comfort was the warm embrace of her sister.

After several minutes, Celestia had calmed enough to speak again. “I had kept her in my room, so that I would never have to spend a night without her. But after a few hours of simply staring at her… I couldn’t stand to look at her anymore. I knew I’d made a mistake, knew that I’d wronged her in a way I could never make up to her. I reverted the spell and returned her to her room.” Celestia’s body shivered. “As I turned to leave her room, do you know what she said?”

“I can scarcely imagine what I would say in that situation.” Luna replied calmly.

“I love you.”

Tears streamed down the sisters’ cheeks.

Through teary eyes, Celestia continued. “She died that night, passed on in her sleep. I never even found the courage to apologize to her.” Luna’s hug tightened. “The day after her funeral, I commissioned the statue garden to be built in the garden. I put it in a place where I could always see it from my balcony so that I would never forget her, or my mistake.”

Before Luna could even respond, Celestia suddenly stood up, dragging Luna up onto her rear hooves. “Thank you, Luna. You’ve helped me more than you might imagine.”

Luna released her sister from her embrace, eyeing the older mare with confusion at her sudden shift in mood.

“I’ve made up my mind.” Celestia stated with listless conviction. “I will do the right thing, I will not pursue Twilight Sparkle.” With that statement, Celestia bounded off the bed, toward the door.

“Celestia!” Luna shouted. “You can't seriously think that suppressing your feelings is the correct decision!”

The solar mare turned to face her sister. She flashed a smile with all the warmth of the moon. “Of course it is. I’m terrible at romance, Luna. I’ll only make Twilight suffer if I pursue these feelings for her. Please, promise me that you won’t tell her just to try to force a confrontation.”

Luna stared in disbelief. “I…” she hesitated. “Fine, I promise.”

With that, Celestia nodded, then turned and exited the room.

The instant the door was shut, Luna’s magic took hold of a quill and parchment. “Looks like I need reinforcements for this battle,” she stated with determination.

Once the letter was complete, it was rolled up and sealed with Luna’s personal signet. She marched out of her room, and turned to address the two bat-winged ponies standing vigilantly on guard. The letter floated in front of the guard to her right. “Deliver this to the Crystal Empire as fast as possible, use the emergency teleportation rune. This is a matter of national importance.”

A wing snapped into a salute. “As you command!” the guard exclaimed before taking the note in his grasp and flying off down the hallway.

Author's Note

Here we go folks, the actual meat of the story. Apologies for the many delays, real life has not be very considerate of my attempts to write the past few weeks.

Hope this was worth the wait. Please enjoy and look forward to the final chapter coming as soon as I can manage.

Smashing Wine

Magic swirled in an arcane vortex around the lunar guard. With Luna’s missive held tight, he braced for the spell to finish. He had never been teleported before, but had heard stories of its dizzying side effects. Then, in a bright flash, he vanished.

The guard found himself deposited several meters above the floor. Further noting that he was stricken with a case of vertigo, he landed with a disturbingly loud thud. Lights turned on and gasps were heard, followed by hoofsteps.

Somepony called out to him, “Are you okay, soldier?”

As the disorienting feeling subsided, he was able to gather himself and rise from the floor. What greeted him was one of the most elegant, and simply beautiful rooms he had ever seen. Truly, the Crystal Palace was a sight to behold!

“Soldier! Report!” the voice exclaimed, snapping him out of his awe stricken gaze.

Turning to the voice, he found none other than Shining Armor staring back at him. A hoof was rapidly pulled up into a salute, purely out of reflex. “Captain Armor, Sir! Sergeant Night Vision, reporting from Canterlot. I carry an emergency missive from Her Royal Highness, Princess Luna, addressed to Princess Mi Amore Cadenza of the Crystal Empire!”

“Shining, what’s with all the yelling?”

Night Vision looked past Shining Armor to see the target of his delivery rolling over in a very luxurious looking bed. He swallowed and averted his gaze.

Shining answered without taking his eyes off of Night Vision. “There’s a message for you, dear. Apparently, it’s an emergency.” There was a definite edge to the prince’s voice.

Night Vision was silently cursing the emergency teleport system.

“Is that so?” Cadance asked. The sound of hoofsteps alerted Night Vision to the Princess’ approach. “What kind of emergency requires such an intrusive entrance?”

To say Night Vision was on edge would be an understatement. This was simply not his best night. He quickly offered the missive to the princess, not daring to open his mouth.

Cadance’s magic took hold of the letter, unfurling it on it’s way to her. After a minute or so, the letter was placed carefully into a nearby drawer. “Shining, I need you to help me pack. I have to make a trip to Canterlot as soon as possible.”

Shining Armor groaned. “Yes, Dear,” he answered reluctantly. He turned to follow his wife, stopping briefly to snap an order at the lunar guard. “Dismissed, Sergeant!”

Without further ado, Night Vision vacated the royal bedroom.

Luna paced anxiously in her room. Try as she might, she had been unable to concentrate on anything. Every task she attempted was inevitably derailed as her thoughts drifted back to her sister’s predicament. She could only hope that Cadance would arrive before long.

At that very moment, because the universe adores coincidences, the door to her room opened. “Announcing, Princess Cadance!” exclaimed the guard by the door. On cue, the crystal princess entered the sanctum of the night, the door shutting silently behind her.

“I came as swiftly as I could,” Cadance began with a serious tone, “Your letter claimed there to be a crisis about to take place. Please, fill me in. I wish to hear every detail.”

Luna nodded in affirmation. “It is good that you have come. We are in dire need of your expertise.”

A slight hint of uncertainty pervaded Cadance’s response.“Yes, you mentioned that. But, what exactly are you referring to? My specialty is love magic, and I cannot think of anything save for modern culture for which you would need my knowledge.”

Luna smiled. “You have answered your own question. I have need of your experience with love.”

Cadance’s eyes widened, her thoughts began to race. “Um, Luna…” she hesitated. “I’m not certain that falling in love actually qualifies as a national emergency.” Cadance closed the distance between them. “Auntie, I know this can be a confusing time in a pony’s life, but you don’t need to overreact.”

Luna made an exaggerated show of rolling her eyes. “I am not the one in love. Tis my sister that requires your assistance,” Luna replied with no small amount of snark.

And just like that, Cadance was at a loss for words.

With no response forthcoming, Luna decided to continue her explanation. “Celestia has made a dangerous decision recently. She has allowed herself to fall in love, but she is refusing to admit her feelings to the one who has captured her heart,” Luna’s overly dramatic flair pervaded her voice. “She intends to try to suppress her feelings even though she has been stricken with lascivious dreams of her love every night for several months. I fear that the stress of not acting on her desires is starting to wear on her.” Luna paused long enough to place her forelegs on Cadance’s shoulders. “Fair niece, thou must help break mine sister from her dour mood!”

This had not been what Cadance had expected, not at all. Further complicating matters was that Luna, for all her vigor, still hadn’t mentioned who Celestia was in love with. “Luna, I won’t be able to help if you don’t tell me who Celestia is in love with.”

With forelegs still firmly on her niece’s shoulders, Luna replied with a very serious tone. “Twilight Sparkle.”

“Could you repeat that, I don’t think I heard you right.”

This time, Luna spoke much louder. “Twilight Sparkle!”

Cadance winced as her eardrums screamed in agony. Once the ringing had stopped, she was able to gather her thoughts. “So, you need my help because Celestia has fallen in love with Twilight to the point that it is actually distracting her from her duties, and she is refusing to do anything about it?”

“Yes.” Luna nodded. “And, do not forget the lustful dreams. They are certainly a source of distraction. Also, the cleaning staff have been complaining about her sheets being sent to the wash every day.”

Cadance suddenly cringed. “Right, I could have done just fine without that mental image.”

“This is no time to be distracted by images of the mind! We must act soon, before Twilight returns to Ponyville.”

“Luna,” Cadance flashed an uneasy smile, “could we start with you letting go of me?”

The princess of the night removed her grip on Cadance’s shoulders.

Cadance nodded. “Alright, before we do anything, I’m going to need a lot more information.”

Just outside Luna’s quarters, one lunar guard turned to his companion. “So, what was that emergency teleporter like?”

Night Vision frowned. “It was terrible. The teleport itself makes you dizzy, which wouldn’t be that bad if it didn’t drop you off several meters above the ground.”

“Sounds like they need to recalibrate that thing.”

“You’re telling me. Never mind that it apparently goes right into Captain Armor’s bedroom, of all places.” Night Vision sighed. “I’m just glad they were asleep when I arrived.”

“Damn, that sounds rough. And you had to take the train back with Princess Cadenza?”

Night Vision shuddered. “She wouldn’t stop glaring at me.”

“I’m buying you a minotaur drink when we get off.”

“Isn’t that stuff stronger than an entire salt lick?”

“If mino-drink doesn’t relax you, you’ve got worse problems than I thought.”

“Okay, let me just recap everything before we go over that plan of yours.”

Luna replied with a confirmatory nod.

Cadance took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “We know that Celestia has been having sexual dreams about Twilight for a few months now, and that her actual romantic feelings have likely been around longer than that. What is complicating matters is Celestia’s poor track record with choosing lovers. This is the main source of her concern, the worry that her decisions will only end up hurting Twilight should they become romantically involved. Because of this, Celestia is refusing to even tell Twilight how she feels. And you worry that this is going to put a strain on their relationship that could cause even more damage than Celestia being rejected outright.”

Luna nodded once more. “Do not forget that Celestia clearly has a desire to have her ears nibbled.”

Cadance quickly planted a hoof to her face. “Yes, of course. We can’t forget that crucial detail,” she replied, straining to keep herself from snapping at Luna. “Now, tell me about your plan.”

What followed could only be described as a mischievous smile. “We wait until Celestia has entered her quarters for the evening. Next we will take Twilight Sparkle and shove her into Sister’s room. The two of us will then hold the door shut with our magic–”

“No.”

Luna pursed her lips at the sudden denouncement. “Very well. We can tie them up and–”

“No.”

“What if we covered Twilight in whipped cream and presented her–”

“No! Stop it!” Cadance shouted. “Will you just give me a moment to try to think of a plan that won’t make Celestia completely angry with us?”

Luna averted her gaze as she scrunched her muzzle into a frown. “Fine. But I can assure you that my sister adores both whipped cream and Twilight Sparkle. Surely combining the two would produce a positive result.”

Cadance took a deep breath while bringing a foreleg up across her chest. She then exhaled as she extended her foreleg. The gesture was repeated several times, much to Luna’s confusion.

“Alright,” Cadance began, her voice noticeably calmer, “What we need to do is put Celestia in a situation that is conducive to sharing one’s romantic feelings.”

“This sounds good. What sort of situations are considered romantic now?”

Cadance was careful not to speak before considering the possible consequences. Luna was clearly too stressed out from the situation to stop and think, so it was all up to Cadance to make sure that everything did not end in disaster. “Well, the most common romantic outing is the standard romantic dinner by candlelight, preferably in a secluded area.”

“Of course!” Luna replied excitedly. “Let us make haste, fair Cadenza. There is no time to waste.”

Cadance attempted to protest as Luna’s magic began to pull her along with the excited princess. “Wait, we don’t even have a plan yet!”

The door swung open at its master’s command and Luna swiftly exited her sanctum, dragging Cadance along for the ride as she dashed down the hallway. To her credit, Cadance at least attempted to slow her aunt down. She reached out with her magic, wrapping it around Luna’s legs in order to slow her gait. To her dismay, Luna simply ripped through the magical bonds as though they were made of paper.

Just as Cadance began to contemplate instating a personal training regimen for herself once she returned home, Luna came to a sudden halt at an intersection of hallways. The princess of the night sneakily peaked around the corner before turning back to Cadance. “This is your part of the plan.”

“What plan?” Cadance snapped. “You haven’t told me anything.”

Luna released her magical grip and began to smile. “Oh, yes. It seems I was too caught up in my own excitement for a moment. But do not worry, I have concocted the most excellent of plans,” Luna replied, happily clapping her front hooves together. “We will set up my sister and Twilight Sparkle on a romantic dinner at the best establishment in town. You will trick Celestia into arriving under the assumption that you will be her dinner guest, whilst I will do the same with Twilight Sparkle. We shall have Twilight arrive five minutes earlier so that they do not meet until they are seated.”

“Luna, won’t putting them in public make Celestia less likely to open up?”

Once more Luna’s hooves clapped happily together. “Nay, it will be no problem. We shall have them seated in the secluded room at the rear of the establishment. It is reserved especially for the royal family.”

At the very least, Cadance had to admit that Luna was attempting to think things through this time. “That’s not the worst idea you’ve had so far.” Luna smiled giddily at the purported compliment. “What is the name of the restaurant?”

“Open-bracket PLACEHOLDER closed-bracket.”

“Why are you pronouncing punctuation?”

“Tis in the name according to their signage.”

Cadance brought a hoof to her face. “Never mind, I don’t even want to know.”

“Tarry no longer, fair Cadenza. There is much to be done.”

Before Cadance could respond, she found herself shoved out into the intersection of the hallways. She looked around sheepishly, hoping that nopony had seen that. As her head turned left, she was greeted with the sight of the massive door to the Castle’s throne room, and the two guards standing on either side of it. She flashed them a smile as they exchanged looks with each other.

One of the guards spoke up. “Can we help you, Princess?”

The question snapped Cadance out of her state of mild embarrassment. She swiftly corrected her posture and expression before responding in a pleasantly neutral tone. “Yes, you may. I wish to see Princess Celestia. Is she busy?”

“The princess is currently unoccupied. Shall we open the door for you right now, princess?”

A confirmatory nod from Cadance set the large doors in motion. Cadance casually entered the massive throne room, the doors closing behind her. Even from the entrance, Cadance could make out the subtle change in posture of her aunt. Celestia appeared glad to see her.

Once Cadance had crossed the halfway point of the room, Celestia called out to her. “Cadance, it is good to see you again. To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” Surprisingly, Celestia’s tone was not what Cadance had expected; rather, it was not one she was accustomed to hearing. Something was clearly off and it had drained much of her voice’s comforting warmth.

Cadance swiftly masked her concern with a smile. “Oh, I just wanted to surprise Twilight with a visit. Perhaps see how she is adjusting to her new duties,” she answered, continuing to approach the throne. It was not until she stood merely a meter or so away from Celestia that the princess of the sun responded.

The same distressing tone pervaded her response. “As far as I am aware, Twilight Sparkle is doing just fine.”

Hearing it again only made Cadance more concerned. Luna was right, Celestia needed help. “Actually, auntie…” Cadance paused and averted her gaze, adding a dramatic tone to her voice as she continued. “There is another reason I came. Visiting Twilight was just what I told everypony when I left.” Cadance leaned in closer. “It’s just been a bit difficult adjusting to actually being a ruler the last few months. There’s so much to do just to get the Crystal Empire adjusted to modern times, and trying to establish our labor force so we can start trading and exporting. And Shining is so busy training our guards that he barely has any time to help me with anything–” Cadance was interrupted as Celestia gently placed a hoof over her lips.

Celestia beamed a gentle smile at her niece. “I assume you wish to ask me for advice.” Cadance nodded. “I’d be glad to help, Cadance. Perhaps we can discuss your troubles in depth this evening.” Celestia lowered her hoof.

“Would you mind if we held our discussion at a restaurant? I recall hearing good things about Placeholder the last time I was here.”

“That sounds good. I feel as though I haven’t gotten out of the castle enough lately,” Celestia replied.

“The usual time?”

“Yes.”

Cadance reached up with her forelegs, wrapping Celestia in a hug. Celestia returned the gesture.

Luna cantered through the halls, weaving her way through the castle towards Twilight’s temporary office. In truth it was really just an oddly spacious closet that had been cleared out for her use while a more appropriate office room was being renovated. Luna was grateful that Twilight was a creature of habit and more strictly so than most. It hadn’t taken her long to memorize Twilight’s self-imposed schedule; something that made finding her closest friend a trivial task.

Upon arriving at her destination, Luna knocked politely on the door bearing an improvised name plate. “Come in!” called the voice behind the door. Luna opened the door to find Twilight Sparkle exactly where she expected her to be, sitting at her desk organizing documents.

Luna smiled at the sight of her friend. “Greetings, Twilight Sparkle. I wish to converse with you, do you have a spare moment?”

“Of course,” Twilight replied. She released her hold on the myriad papers on her desk before turning to give Luna her full attention. “Now, what did you want to talk about?”

“I wished to request your presence at a local eatery this evening.”

“Sure, I’d love to join you.” Twilight beamed a smile at Luna. “Where would you like to go?”

“Open-bracket PLACEHOLDER closed-bracket.”

“Why are you pronouncing punctuation?”

“This conversation feels familiar…”

Twilight chuckled. “Well, perhaps we should schedule another lesson on modern speech soon. Just be sure to give me at least a day’s notice, okay.”

Luna nodded cheerfully. “Yes, that would be most pleasing.”

“Good. Now, when do I need to be there for dinner?”

“I shall make a reservation for precisely one hour past moonrise. If you could arrive five minutes early and claim our reservation it would be appreciated.”

Twilight immediately scribbled a note into the calendar on the corner of her desk. “Alright, I’ll see you then. Take care, Luna.” Twilight waved as the princess of the night made her exit.

It wasn’t until Celestia had personally gazed upon the exterior of her destination that the name of the establishment had sparked her curiosity. The restaurant was like many others in Canterlot. An overly elaborate building, mostly white in color, with a gaudy, eye-catching placard inscribed with the establishment’s name. However, as the finer details began to sink in, the name of the place grew to take on a strange sense of irony. Instead of smooth, white stone for the walls, there were bricks. Not of any fancy make, or unique design; just plain bricks painted white. That by itself was not the only oddity of the walls, either. The bricks seemed, uneven, as though the walls were not flush. The rough, gritty texture of brick combined with the apparently lazy brickwork struck a chord in Celestia’s mind. The more she looked around, the more this place looked like it simply wasn’t finished. At least, not by the usual standards of Canterlot. Everything was just a tiny bit off. The place could certainly pass as a placeholder for a real building. As her mind began to wander, Celestia made a mental note to have the building’s structural integrity inspected..

As was tradition when eating outside the castle, Celestia needed to do nothing more complicated than approaching the front door. Like clockwork, the tradition began as the door was opened for her, accompanied by the usual platitudes and unnecessary prostration of the staff inside. She returned the kindness with a smile and her thanks. Celestia continued to walk as a waiter swiftly appeared, motioning for her to follow. As Celestia was led towards the back of the dining area, her eyes continued to spot a myriad of oddities. Much like the outside, and indeed the name, implied, there was not a single thing of value or artistic merit to be found. Crayon scribbles where paintings would hang, cardboard boxes in place of pottery, and an utter lack of wallpaper was just the beginning. Secretly, she wondered if Discord had decided to run a restaurant in his spare time.

Celestia was led around a corner, through a door, and finally beyond a strangely nice curtain. As she passed the threshold her eyes were met with a room of comparatively astonishing decadance. Normal walls, deep red in color and accented with a single genuine picture frame. It was a nice frame, but hardly worth being a centerpiece. However, the most peculiar piece of decorum was the terribly out of place giant vase with some sort of shrubbery growing from it. The odd item was in a corner by itself and was far enough from the table that it could easily be ignored. It wasn’t until her eyes found their way to the table that the true surprise of the evening made its appearance.

“Princess?” Twilight asked, as though her eyes were deceiving her.

The curious tone mixed with her shocked expression was more than Celestia required to understand that neither of the two alicorns had been expecting the other. Immediately, the puzzle fell into place. Cadance had set her up!

Celestia replaced her expression with a warm smile. With silent grace, Celestia took her place at the table. Normally, her mind would be racing in a desperate attempt to uncover why her favorite niece had duped her. However, the scene before her was all the evidence she needed. Low-lighting, a secluded room, fancy-ish table, and a thankfully dressless Twilight Sparkle. There was only one pony who could taunt Celestia so thoroughly. Luna! It had to be Luna. It all made sense if Luna had orchestrated everything from the shadows. Why Cadance had arrived unannounced and had decided the best place to discuss her worries was at a tacky eatery. Why she was currently looking at Twilight Sparkle, her once ever faithful sex–

‘Student!’

Yes, student. Twilight was her student. Celestia cursed whatever traitorous part of her brain was trying to derail her thoughts by pointing out just how familiar this scene was to the forty-third sexual fantasy she had dreamt about the lovely lavender mare before her. No! Celestia, raiser of the sun, and diarch of Equestria, would not succumb to mere vulgar thoughts and base desires. She would persevere! She would triumph! She would lunge over the table and take Twilight with her to a realm of pure bliss!

‘Damn it!’

“Princess, what are you doing here? I was supposed to be meeting Luna.”

Celestia replied before her mind could catch up with the situation. “I bribed her.”

Twilight stared incredulously at her mentor. “You bribed your sister so that you could meet me at this secluded, quasi-romantic dinner?”

Again, time to think was not an option for Celestia. Any hesitation would have been evidence of her little lie. “Yes.”

“Princess,” Twilight began, “you do realize that this looks like you are trying to stop Luna from making some kind of romantic confession to me, right?”

Celestia knew she was swiftly losing any credibility to her defense. She needed to turn the conversation in a different direction. “Would you have accepted such a confession from her?” As soon as the words left her mouth, Celestia was immediately cursing herself; mentally of course.

Thankfully, at least, Twilight seemed to have halted her inquisition. The younger alicorn slipped into a introspective expression as she pondered the idea. Before she could reach any conclusion, a waiter appeared from beyond the curtain.

Celestia didn’t miss the waiter’s slight hesitation once he entered the room. Perhaps, she could make use of this to keep Twilight distracted. As the stallion approached the table, he was quick to slip on a smile.

“Good evening, you royal majesties. How might I serve you this wonderful night?”

Celestia watched him carefully, looking for any cracks in his confidence. Carefully, she picked up the menu, hoping to glance at the selection of beverages. What greeted her was nothing short of absurdity. The menu was some kind of twisted, incomprehensible joke. Celestia was certain that Discord had something to do with this place.

Celestia’s eyes scanned the pages, finding near useless descriptions of items with utterly generic names. One drink was labeled ‘[GROUND SEEDS]’, another ‘[FRUIT WITH DISINFECTANT]’. She turned the page to see if any of the food was decipherable, but was met with similar entries. Something called [ASTERACEAE ON PARTIALLY BURNED CRUSTUM] was apparently served with [ACETIC ACID MIXED WITH WATER] and a [RED LIQUID]. Celestia promptly decided she was not in the mood to decipher a menu just to order something. She turned to the waiter as she placed the menu down. “Surprise me.”

The waiter swallowed nervously, “P-pardon, your Highness?”

Celestia was already enjoying this far too much. She could see the sweat already beading around his neck. She answered him with her most polite smile. “I simply can’t make up my mind. Therefore, I will entrust the entirety of my experience tonight to your choices.” His expression cracked slightly, his true nervousness started to bleed through into his every action.

“V-very well, your Highness.” The waiter turned to face Twilight. “And w-w-what can I get for you, your Majesty?”

Twilight beamed a confident smile at the poor server. “Well, I did have something in mind, but I think I’ll have the same thing. It sounds fun, and a little adventurous.”

The waiter was now visibly shaking. “S-so, t-t-t-hat-t-s two s-surprises.” He swallowed, twice. “I’llberightback!” the stallion exclaimed as he rushed out of the room.

Twilight allowed a giggle to escape. Celestia felt an uncomfortable flutter in her heart. Celestia's quick mind immediately began assembling a conversation topic from a variety of relevant subjects. "So, Twilight, how has Ponyville life been treating you? Pinkie hasn't accosted any new residents lately has she?"

“No,” Twilight replied curtly. She seemed to pause briefly before leveling her gaze at Celestia. “You’re avoiding my question.”

It was an admirable attempt, but the waiter’s interruption had given Celestia plenty of time to begin preparing her defense. “And you are avoiding mine,” she stated calmly.

Twilight frowned. The lavender alicorn opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by the sudden appearance of the nervous waiter. The stallion carefully placed two glasses onto the table and began to fill them with a red liquid from a large glass bottle. After both glasses were filled, he placed the bottle onto the table. “H-here are your drinks, your majesties. I h-hope you enjoy it. I’ll be back soon with your food.” The stallion promptly escaped the room once more.

Twilight turned to study the bottle’s label. It was clear she’d never seen this type of drink before. “What is wine?” Twilight asks.

Celestia smiles at the opportunity that presented itself. “Wine is an imported beverage. It is commonly made by griffons and minotaurs, though the two have never agreed on exactly how to make it.”

Twilight continued to examine the bottle. “So, what’s it taste like?”

“That depends on a number of factors, actually.”

Twilight waited for Celestia to continue her explanation. When the older alicorn made no further effort to speak, Twilight’s curiosity took over. “Such as?”

“Wine is made with fermented fruits, often grapes. The type of grapes is a major factor in the overall taste. Of course, with fermentation involved, the age of the drink is important as well.” Celestia paused, drawing Twilight’s full attention as the younger alicorn waited for more information. Celestia made a show of sniffing at her glass. Twilight mimicked her. “Why don’t you try some with me, Twilight? I don’t recognize the smell of this one, so it will be an adventure for us both.”

Twilight took hold her glass and brought it to her lips. She sniffed the drink once more in a vain attempt to analyze it. Cautiously, she took a sip. The liquid rushed across her tongue, filling her mouth with a dry, bitter taste that carried a hint of fruit and fizziness. Then, Twilight retched. Her tongue stuck out of her mouth as she instinctively tried to scrape the taste off. Celestia couldn’t help but giggle.

“Princess, that was disgusting!” Twilight exclaimed.

Celestia waited until she had Twilight’s attention once more. With a sly grin, she took her own glass and made a show of downing the entire contents in one gulp. The disgusted look on her student’s face was definitely worth it.

“How can you drink that? It’s like,” Twilight paused briefly, searching her vocabulary for the right description, “like somepony made an extract of pure nastiness and tried to mask it with a drop of fruit juice.”

Celestia tried very hard to suppress her laughter at Twilight’s description, but it turned out to be a fruitless endeavour. It took longer than she had wanted before she had calmed herself. Twilight was clearly not pleased with the response. Celestia took a deep breath as she returned to her normal state of composure. “I am sorry, Twilight. I didn’t not mean to make you feel silly.”

Twilight’s ears splayed back against her head. “No, it’s okay. I just wasn’t expecting to be laughed at.” After a slight pause, Twilight added, “Not by you.”

Celestia suddenly felt a growing pit in in her stomach. It took every bit of her millennia worth of experience to keep her neutral expression from falling. “Again, I am truly sorry, Twilight. You have to understand that wine is a central part of certain cultures. As the ruler of Equestria, it would be very rude not to accept gifts from other nations. Many times I have been given wine and similar drink as gifts. Like you, most ponies seem not to enjoy the taste of such things.” She sighed heavily before continuing. “These things are very much an acquired taste, and I’ve had plenty of reasons to acquire a taste for them. Truth be told, Twilight, I had a very similar reaction when I first tried wine. Granted, it was minotauran wine. I don’t imagine many ponies would be standing upright after a glass or two of that stuff.” Celestia added a slight chuckle at her own joke, hoping desperately that it would lighten the mood. Twilight’s face barely moved.

Celestia immediately decided that she need something to take the edge off of the pit of stress building in her stomach. She poured herself another glass and downed it in an identical fashion to her first. Twilight winced at the sight.

Suddenly, an idea struck Celestia. “You know, Twilight, there is a huge difference between griffon wine and minotaur wine.” Twilight’s ears perked up at the implication of new information. ‘Perfect’ she thought. “To understand that, you must understand something about wine itself. Wine is an alcoholic drink.”

Twilight interrupted before Celestia could continue. “Wait, it has alcohol? As in, the substance used to disinfect wounds at hospitals?”

“That is correct.”

Twilight’s face screwed up with disgust. “Why would anypony want to drink alcohol?!” Twilight practically shouted. “Why are you drinking it? That can’t possibly be good for you!”

Celestia felt a warm smile spread across her lips. She was starting to relax a bit, but she couldn’t shake the nervous feeling in her gut that she’d genuinely hurt Twilight’s feelings. It was time for another glass.

The third glass came down empty in a single gulp, just like its predecessors. Celestia could feel the happiness spreading all over her body. Tension was melting away as the good, comforting warmth relaxed her, mind and body alike.

“Princess, why do you keep drinking that stuff?”

“Don’t worry, Twilight. The alcohol is perfectly safe to consume. The liver will filter it out of my system soon enough. Besides.”

Twilight waited patiently for Celestia to continue, but the larger alicorn just sat there, slightly swaying her whole body. “Princess, are you going to continue?”

Celestia snapped out of her stupor, her gaze focusing on Twilight’s horn. “Did you know that wine’s alcohol content is measured in proof? Proof is equiva-qu-valent to twiceish the amount of alcohol in the drink by content volume… thing?” Twilight’s horn was giving her a very distressing frown. “Just look on the bottle’s label. Should be the only number on there.”

Twilight turned to scan the label once again. “It just says 35p.”

Celestia’s smile fell slightly. “Is it just ‘p’ or does it say ‘proof’?”

Twilight double checked the label. “Just 35p. No mention of proof.” Celestia’s mind immediately descended into a panic. “Why? Is there a difference?”

Celestia replied slowly. “Proof is what griffons use. Proof is listed as twice the alcohol content. P is what minotaurs use. P means percent.”

Twilight lit up with realization. “Oh, so that means this is thirty-five percent alcohol by volume, as opposed to seventeen-point-five percent. That’s interesting that the two cultures would use such an easily mistaken moniker to denote the level of disgustingness of their drinks.”

“Yes, quite interesting.”

Twilight turned to smile at Celestia. “So, I’ve been thinking about your question.” Celestia absently noded, not quite registering where Twilight was taking the conversation. “I think that, with some time, I might be able to see myself with Luna. Romantically.”

It wasn’t often that Twilight had seen anger on Celestia’s visage. The infrequency of it made the effect it had feel much more pronounced. Twilight watched as the scowl steadily tore away the warm smile on her mentor’s face. The words that came next were barely steady, teetering on the edge between joy and fury. “Luna doesn’t love you. She isn’t the one who was supposed to meet you here, I am. This dinner is nothing more than a trick to get you and me in the same room.”

To her credit, Twilight managed to remain calm; mostly. She replied with an even tone. “And why would she need to trick us to see each other? What aren’t you telling me?”

All at once, Celestia felt her anger crumbling. She had very nearly lashed out at her beloved Twilight. She had come so close to hurting her. All for what? To be angry at Luna? To be jealous that her Twilight could possibly find love with her sister? Was she truly not an option?

As the questions echoed in Celestia’s mind, she could feel the water welling up in her eyes. The pit in her stomach was back in full force. ‘Damn’ was the only thought she could manage. That single word repeated a thousand times in her mind. Why was she so foolish? She should have checked what she was drinking. No, she should have just listened to her sister, to Luna. Was it already too late? Through the haze surrounding her mind, Celestia searched for an answer.

Suddenly, Twilight spoke, her tone was beginning to waver. “Well? Are you going to answer me?”

As Celestia was ripped from her introspection, words found their way to her lips; unfiltered by any thought. “I’ve been having sexual fantasies about you every night for months!”

Twilight froze, her mind so locked up that she couldn’t even form a confused look on her face. A sudden crash near the curtain drew her attention, dragging her out of the state of utter shock. Apparently, the waiter had entered at just the wrong time. The poor stallion was collapsed on the ground, likely from shock and embarrassment. The food he had been carrying was strewn across the floor, mixed with bits of broken plates. A bright flash in the corner of her eye caused Twilight to snap her vision back to Celestia. There was just one problem, Celestia wasn’t there.

Author's Note

I was expecting Apprentice Ship to be done with the third chapter. But, for the sake of actually putting out an update, and to keep the chapter's word count lower, I'm splitting the climax off into a fourth chapter.

Update Blog

Wherein Snuggles Lie

Cadance sat motionless behind the conveniently large potted shrubbery. Moments passed until she heard the telltale sound of a teleport. Next to her, was a surprisingly giddy princess. To Cadance’s astonishment, Luna suddenly leapt upward. A small squeeing noise escaped from the midnight princess as she danced in merriment, celebrating something that Cadance was utterly unaware of at the time.

Shock made way for annoyance as Luna’s dance made no signs of coming to a conclusion after several minutes. “Luna, what are you so excited about?”

Without missing a single step of her dance, Luna replied. “Sister has finally confessed her feelings! This is a moment worthy of celebration!”

Annoyance slipped into frustration. “Luna, this was a complete disaster. Celestia made a total fool of herself. What’s more, she didn’t even stay long enough to try to explain her feelings!”

The dance came to a close as Luna leveled a very serious gaze at her niece. “Clearly Celestia has gone ahead to prepare the whipped cream.”

Frustration turned into shock, completing the circle of insanity. Once Cadance’s mind had gone back to actually processing information, she promptly dragged her aunt out of the restaurant.

Twilight appeared with a flash of light. At the very least, Twilight was confident that Celestia was still in the city, and quite possibly somewhere near the castle. Now she just had to figure out where she’d ended up. In hindsight, aiming a teleport for ‘in Canterlot’ may not have been the best way to leave the restaurant.

Twilight looked around to take stock of her surroundings. Greenery. Flora. Well, she’d at least landed somewhere in the Canterlot gardens. It was as good a place as any to start looking for Celestia. The princess had been known to take walks through the gardens after a stressful day. Today certainly counted as stressful.

Twilight moved to and fro, walking, running, flying, and teleporting all over the gardens. No sign of Celestia in the hedge mazes. Nor was there a hint that she was admiring the flowers. Twilight even tried to ask the various animals that had taken up residence in the gardens if they had seen the Princess of the Sun. Sadly, being an alicorn did not give her Fluttershy’s ability to actually understand what animals say. It had taken far too long to search the gardens only to come up empty hooved. Twilight found herself growing more irritated at the situation. It was time to check somewhere else.

Another flash, another destination. The castle was a lavishly decorated maze to most ponies. Thankfully, Twilight was exceedingly familiar with the castle’s layout; she’d memorized it before she was ten years old. The only question currently on her mind was where Celestia might be. Perhaps she had retreated to somewhere she would not normally go at this hour. Inspiration struck as Twilight began a mad dash down the hallways. Nopony would expect the princess to be in her office at this hour! It would be a great hiding spot. There were so many stacks of paper and various cabinets filled with even more papers in there that foals could easily play hide-and-seek there. Twilight couldn’t help but imagine Celestia crouched under her desk, fighting to keep her flowing mane from giving away her position to any seekers. It was certainly a testament to her current mood when Twilight noticed that even such a whimsical thought had failed to bring a smile to her face.

Twilight rounded one last corner; her hooves skidded, dragging the carpet into a crumpled mess. A quick series of wing flaps kept her from tumbling into the wall. She shook her head, more as a way to give herself time to recover than to clear anything from her mind. Magic flicked the office door open, and Twilight trotted in. She checked every possible hiding spot, but there was no sign of Celestia. Twilight made certain that everything was back in its proper place before she left the office.

That disappointment didn’t leave many other places that Celestia would logically have gone to. At this point, the obvious choice was to check Celestia's two private rooms; her study, and her bedroom. Since the the two were not far apart, and one was on the way to the other, Twilight set off down the halls once more. This time, she went a bit slower on her corners.

Celestia stared up at the moon from the balcony. She had tried to retreat to her room to rest, but sleep would not find her. Though she wished it wouldn’t happen tonight, she knew in her heart that Twilight would find her. She had left the door to her room slightly ajar, and had dismissed the guards normally station there for the night. Now, all that was left was to wait.

Celestia had not kept track of the time since she had returned to her room. She didn’t know how long she had been gazing up at the moon in some vain hope that it might share with her some of Luna’s wisdom for the trial ahead.

The door to her room was suddenly flung open with great magical force. Had the door been of normal wood, it likely would have shattered against the wall, or at least have been ripped from its hinges. Celestia did not bat an eye. This was what she had been dreading. With a flick of golden magic, she closed the door behind the lavender mare who now stood in her room.

“Princess!” Twilight shouted, her rapid exhalations indicated that she had been searching for her goal for some time. The only question, was why she was so dedicated to her task.

Celestia stood in silence, not even turning to face the mare. She checked her thoughts, probing for any of that dastardly haze that had nearly ruined everything. When she was content that her mind was no longer clouded, she answered. “Twilight Sparkle, is there something you wish to discuss with me?”

Silence.

Either Twilight was offended or in shock. Celestia had no wager on either. She waited.

“How could you just leave after saying something like that?” There was no malice in that voice. There was confusion and sorrow. Celestia would have preferred malice, it was easier to deal with.

Still staring up at the moon, she answered, “Shame makes us do many things that we regret. It is ironic that we then become ashamed of those regrets, don’t you think?”

The sound of hooffalls, Twilight was moving closer.

“I’m not leaving until I hear the truth.” An even tone, difficult to read.

Celestia felt a guilty smile creep its way onto her lips. “You sound just like Luna. Perhaps the moon is telling me something after all.” The solar mare turned from the moon, finally facing the hour between night and day. “I am sorry, Twilight Sparkle. I would like to say that I was deep in thought, but I was too busy being distracted. Even now as you stand there, I hesitate.” Celestia averted her gaze. “I have much to answer for, so ask away. You deserve to know the truth, so come and take it.” With that, she sat.

Twilight began her inquisition with a firm and resolute tone. “Alright, you can start by telling me why you said that.”

With no joy to be found in her heart, Celestia set to task on keeping her word. No matter where it might lead, Twilight deserved her honesty. “Alcohol has a way of making the truth come out. Sadly, its method always tends to be lacking in tact. I meant exactly what I said.” Celestia could not bear to face Twilight, she feared the expression of hurt and confusion that she knew had overtaken her student.

Twilight’s tone wavered slightly. “So, you want to…”

Celestia picked up where Twilight trailed off. “Have a deeper, more romantic relationship with you. I am a mare like any other. I am not above succumbing to baser desires now and then.”

The next response came back sharp as knife. “Every night isn’t ‘now and then’.”

“No, it isn’t. I’m afraid that my emotions, my desires, have grown into something that I should not have tried so hard to ignore.”

The knife lashed out again. “Then why haven’t you said anything before now?”

Celestia began with a contemplative hum, biding time to think without letting silence reign. “There are two answers to that question. The first, is that I thought that those dreams were nothing more than a passing fantasy. I expected them to disappear after a night or two. By the time that months had passed, I knew there was a deeper issue I had to address. I slowly began to piece together various thoughts I had felt were strange into a more complete picture. Eventually, I solved the puzzle; I realized that I had developed romantic feelings for you.” Celestia could feel heat rising in her cheeks. “The lustful dreams were merely a byproduct of an unfulfilled desire. Perhaps nothing more than my mind attempting to bait me in the direction that my heart desired, or perhaps it was simply the result of a long time spent without allowing myself to indulge in that kind of carnal release. To be fair, it’s probably more than a bit of both.”

The knife’s edge dulled. “And the second reason?”

There was no hiding it any longer. Celestia lifted her head, allowing her eyes to finally meet Twilight’s. It was little surprise that Celestia felt wet streaks across her cheeks. “Because I was afraid that I would hurt you. I always end up hurting the ponies I love, and sometimes others get caught up in my mistakes. I would rather go the rest of my life never knowing if there was even a chance that you might return these feelings, if it meant you wouldn’t have to get hurt by me.”

She just stared. Twilight could do nothing but just stare at her. It hurt. Celestia closed her eyes. Her legs suddenly felt tired. Rest sounded perfect right now. Even though she was certain that she had fallen, Celestia never felt the ground. The ground wasn’t warm. The ground didn’t squeeze her so tightly. The ground didn’t cry.

“Princess! Are you okay?”

Panic. That was definitely what she heard. What a shame, it seemed that rest would have to wait. She couldn’t rest if Twilight was worried. Her eyes opened. “I’m sorry, Twilight Sparkle. I can’t seem to stop making you worry tonight.”

Violet eyes, wet and red-rimmed, stared back at her. “Princess, you fell. Are you really okay?”

A smile. Even when she was being a fool, Twilight still cared. That was enough to smile about. “Yes, I’m just a bit tired. Nothing to worry about.” Celestia moved, finding her footing. She decided that standing could wait. She slipped out of Twilight’s grasp and laid down. Once she was certain that the position was comfortable, she returned her gaze to Twilight. “I’m sure you have some other questions for me,” she stated plainly.

Twilight backed up a few steps, putting a comfortable distance between them. Without hesitation, she continued her questioning. “Why me?”

Celestia sighed lightly. Leave it to Twilight to ask the hardest questions. “To be honest, I don’t think I can pinpoint any specific set of reasons. I was far too oblivious to my own feelings as they were developing to really know exactly what tipped the scales, so to speak.” Gently, Celestia smiled. She continued, her voice a bit warmer than before. “However, I can absolutely answer what I don’t find appealing about you.”

Twilight frowned. “And what’s that?” she asked with a voice that nearly quavered with every word.

The smile grew. “Nothing.”

Celestia was positive she’d never seen Twilight’s face that particular shade of red before. For the second time that night, she was happy. Wisely, she also decided not to ruin the moment with anything else. Celestia waited patiently for Twilight to respond.

After a mountain of silence, and no small amount of fidgeting, Twilight spoke. “So,” she paused almost immediately. It was clear to Celestia that Twilight had not taken any time to gather her thoughts yet. Twilight continued, her voice more confident this time. “So, what are you going to do?”

Finally, Celestia felt no hesitation. “Nothing.” The single word cast another spell of silence on the room. The response was obviously not what Twilight had expected. Once more, Celestia waited for Twilight.

Surprisingly, Celestia heard her student’s normal voice return. “What do you mean, nothing?” The elder alicorn had to suppress a small giggle. Twilight sounded like she was scolding Spike, rather than discussing her future. It was a good sign that most of the tension had left the room.

“I mean, nothing.” Celestia gave a solid emphasis on that last word. It was a point she intended to drive home. “I tried not to hurt you, but I did so with dishonesty. I lied to myself about how I felt. I lied to you. I lied to everyone. All I’ve managed to do, is show that I’m still terrible at romance after more than a thousand years.” Celestia let a small laugh escape. If she couldn’t laugh at her mistakes, then she hadn’t learned anything from them. “I don’t think I deserve to be the one who makes this decision. I’m certain that I’d just find a way to mess everything up if I tried to ask.”

Twilight’s expression fell slightly. It was that familiar little slip that she tended to do when she thought somepony was speaking nonsense. “So, after all this, you aren’t even going to ask me anything?”

Celestia found her normal tone. “I believe I have said all that I can say about this subject. I’ll be happy to clarify anything you want, but I’ll leave all the decision making in more capable hooves than mine.”

Nervousness infiltrated Twilight’s expression. She didn’t reply.

“I will accept whatever you decide, Twilight. Take as much time as you need to make up your mind. Believe me, this isn’t a decision you should rush into.” Celestia tested her legs. Finding their strength had returned, she stood. Twilight stood to meet her as she approached. Violet eyes gazed up at her.

“I’ll do my best to sort this out, Princess.”

There she went, treating it like an assignment. Celestia was glad she held her laughter inside. “All I want, Twilight, is for you to listen to your heart. This isn’t a test. Perhaps it would help you if you returned to Ponyville for a while. Talk with with your friends and see what they have to say.”

Twilight sighed. “Don’t worry, Princess. I just need some time to think.” Twilight beamed a smile. “I promise I won’t make you wait too long.” Twilight nodded confidently before turning to return to her room for the night.

Celestia tried her best, honestly she did, but was unable to keep her eyes from taking in every happy step Twilight made on her way out.

Twilight stepped out of Celestia’s room and into the hallway. The door closed softly behind her. For a moment, she simply stood there, allowing herself time to decompress. It had been a stressful night for Twilight, and one thing that always helped her relax, was silence.

Sadly, there was no quiet to be found in the dark, empty hall. A pair of voices pierced the veil of silence. They were not loud voices, but it quickly became apparent that there was an argument taking place nearby. Twilight looked around, trying to follow her ears to the source of the noise. It didn’t take long to figure out what was happening. Not far away from where she stood, Twilight spotted a surprisingly familiar pink rump sticking out from behind a large potted plant. The mark of the Crystal Heart that adorned said rump was all the confirmation she required. Now, it was time to sate her curiosity.

“What are you doing? Get back back behind the plant!”

“I can’t! This thing isn’t large enough to hide both of us and your blasted mane!”

“My mane has no blasts.”

“Well turn it off.”

“Turn what off?”

“The cursed flowy-thing it keeps doing. It’s going to give us away.”

“My mane is no such traitor, it would never betray me like that. Apologize this instant.”

Twilight cleared her throat, loudly. The bickering stopped. “Alright, what are you two doing?”

“There are no ponies here, Twilight Sparkle, only I, the talking plant!”

Twilight gave the plant an incredulous look. “I recognize your voice, Luna. I know you and Cadance are back there.”

Two very embarrassed alicorns emerged from their poorly chosen hiding spot.

Twilight adjusted her glare to meet the skulkers. “So, would you care to explain why you two were trying to hide outside of Celestia’s room?”

The guilty pair exchanged nervous glances. Luna spoke first. “I will now exercise the power given to me by the Articles of Canterlot, section twelve, subsection ‘c’. I hereby delegate the answering of any incriminating questions to one whose station is lower than mine.” Luna promptly turned and hugged Cadance. “I know you will not fail me in this endeavour.” Then, Luna bolted off down the hall, escaping into the darkness of the castle.

Once the confusion had passed, Twilight and Cadance met their gazes. Twilight sighed. She really wasn’t in the mood for, well, whatever the heck was going on. “Cadance, can we skip the theatrics?” Twilight pleaded.

“I think that would be best, given the circumstances.”

“What’s going on with you two?”

Cadance’s expression was quick to give up her guilt. “We’ve been spying on you since the dinner at Placeholder.”

“Why?”

“It was all Luna’s fault! I swear!” Cadance’ shifted her forelegs nervously. “She sent me a letter claiming there was some national crisis about to take place, and when I showed up all she did was talk about trying to get Celestia to admit her secret feelings for you. Of course, I got dragged into her mess, and by that point I figured I might as well see it all through to the end.” – She flashed a smile. – “Admittedly, I was worried that I might be needed for some emotional counseling if things fell apart between you and Celestia. You know, the kind of counseling that involves tubs of ice cream, crying, and lots of trashy novels.”

Twilight didn’t respond right away. Her gaze slipped into the distance, looking past Cadance, even as she stood in front of her. Once Twilight was comfortable that her thoughts had been sorted properly, she spoke. “Actually, I could use that other kind of counseling. You know, the one where you share some nugget of wisdom that will fix all my problems.”

“I think I left all my nuggets back home with Shiny.”

The two mares giggled.

A tentative smile sneaked onto Twilight’s face. “I’m guessing you overheard everything?”

“Yes.”

Twilight lowered her head to stare at her front hooves. She closed her eyes tightly for a moment. Once her eyes opened, she returned her gaze to Cadance. “What should I do? How do I know if I’m actually listening to my heart, and not something else?”

Twilight let out a small gasp as Cadance drew her into a warm hug. “I can’t tell you what to do, Twilight. But I can tell you that love isn’t simple.” Cadance pulled back, releasing Twilight from her embrace. “Love isn’t binary, it has many, many shades; maybe even more than all the colors of the world. Love is something that can grow if nurtured, but just because you stop paying attention to it doesn’t mean it will wither. But, more than anything else, love is about sharing. You cannot truly love someone, unless you can share in their happiness, and in their sorrow. What you need to ask your heart, is whether or not it is willing to share itself, and all its emotions, with Celestia. That is the answer you seek.”

Twilight simply nodded. After a moment of silence, the two mares embraced in a hug once more. “Thanks, Cadance. That’s an answer I know I can find.”

“I’m happy to help, Twilight.”

The embrace faded and the two just gazed at each other, contented smiles conveying what mere words could not. Suddenly, their eyes lit up in unison. They both spoke at the same time.

A silly dance accompanied the rhythmic chant. “Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake. Clap your hooves and do a little shake!” Afterwards, the hall was filled with happy laughter.

Today’s expression was noticeably brighter than days past. It wasn’t the happiest the guards had ever seen her, but there was definitely an air of anticipation about her.The trio made their way through the maze-like halls of the castle until their destination had been reached. Awaiting their arrival, in front of the ornate door that marked the threshold to Celestia’s private quarters, was a certain lavender alicorn.

“Princess!” Twilight exclaimed.

The guards nodded to each other and silently took their posts on either side of Celestia’s bedroom door. Ears were at full attention, and eyes were taking in every important detail. It was a well-known fact around the castle that certain staff members loved to gossip. It was a less well-known fact that those staff members paid quite well for juicy details to use in their ‘meetings’. Anything involving a princess was always worth passing on. That there may or may not have been several betting pools going around was also something the guards tended to keep in mind.

“Twilight, to what do I owe this surprise visit?” Celestia asked playfully.

A slight fidgeting of lavender hooves did not go unnoticed. “Well, I’ve given a lot of thought to what we talked about recently.”

“And you have come to a decision?”

Twilight nodded happily. “I think that if it’s you, I’m willing to give it a try.”

Celestia’s heart swelled with emotion. She opened her mouth to respond, but she was suddenly interrupted by a shout from behind her.

“Huzzah!” Luna exclaimed as she popped out from behind a potted plant, all her limbs extended in excitement. “I have won! I have won!”

Celestia’s ear twitched as a whisper from near her bedroom door made its way to her. “Great, there goes a week’s pay.”

Another whisper swiftly followed the first. “Last time I bet against a princess.”

Celestia’s head turned with a slow, methodical purpose towards her sister. Luna would later recount the spine chilling terror of Celestia’s evil glare, though most just assumed it was an exaggeration.

It was not.

A blue foreleg lifted limply into the air. “Huzzah?”

It was later communicated to the castle staff that Luna had decided to take an unexpected vacation to the Crystal Empire for an unplanned amount of time.

Celestia was warm. It was a pleasant feeling that was made all the better by the even warmer spot nestled under her wing. The warmth moved. A cute little groan accompanied the movement. Celestia wanted nothing more than to hunker down, pull the covers a little tighter, and to fall back asleep. Sadly, duty awaited.

Celestia had long since become accustomed to her unique internal clock. Without fail, she always found herself awake a precious few minutes before it was time to raise the sun. Twilight, however, was still adjusting. Lavender hooves wrapped around Celestia’s neck as she tried to slip out of the bed. Twilight buried her muzzle into Celestia’s side. It was almost convincing enough to make the sunrise late. Almost.

Twilight groaned as the lack of warmth next to her stirred her mind to consciousness. A pillow found its way over her face as she grumbled a pointless request for a few more minutes of sleep. Years of staying up late into the night had not prepared the young alicorn for a schedule that was quite so strict with its timing.

By the time the sun was up, Twilight had finally relented to the fact that her day was starting whether she liked it or not. It was much to her surprise when Celestia climbed back onto the bed with her. Their eyes locked for a brief moment, passing a wordless message between them. Lips met in a gentle embrace. Wings twitched in anticipation as the kiss ended.

The two promptly laid back down, pulling the covers back over them. White legs surrounded lavender. Twilight wiggled around to worm herself as close to Celestia as she could get. Once more Twilight buried her muzzle into that soft field of white.

If there was one thing Celestia had learned in all her years, it was that she didn’t have to be anywhere for at least another hour.

Author's Note

This chapter is dedicated Pearple Prose. There's your snuggles, so there's no need to get any cyber police involved.

This is the technical end of the story. Go check out chapter 5 if you want to find out what happened to Luna.

Whipped Cream

Celestia’s bedroom. Her most private quarters that serve as a sanctum against a long day’s weariness. It was a place that Twilight Sparkle had become very familiar with over the years. Even as a little filly, she would often find her way into this hallowed room. Many memories swirled around in her mind as she sat nervously on the large bed. Her hooves and wings refused her commands to cease their fidgeting.

In all her years, there was one situation that Twilight had never expected to find herself in: being alone in Celestia’s bedroom. Even though her presence was more than welcomed, she could not shake the feeling that she just did not belong here among many of Celestia’s most prized possessions.

Things between her and Celestia had advanced at what most would call a snail’s pace, assuming they didn’t mind insulting the snail. Nearly three months together as a couple, and Twilight had barely found the courage to move beyond snuggling after a particularly long, and steamy kiss. But today that would change. She’d made up her mind. It was time to take a leap of faith and trust that Celestia would be there to catch her. Not that it had been an easy decision for Twilight to make. She had been agonizing over this for the last two months.

Despite her trepidation, Celestia had never pushed for anything more than Twilight was willing to give. When Twilight had asked to go further Celestia had a wry grin that made Twilight more than a little nervous. Clearly Celestia had something already in mind for the occasion. As Twilight sat waiting for Celestia to return from wherever she had excitedly run off to, she could only hope that something in all of the books she had read on the subject would prove to be useful. Her doubts about the potential validity of her knowledge base rapidly grew when she realized that the only study materials she had managed to peruse were some odd books Pinkie Pie had given her. Although, she was still puzzled how food would serve any purpose in her upcoming activity. She never did figure out what the cook book had been for.

At that very moment, Celestia strolled into the room, stealing Twilight’s attention. As the door closed, Twilight noticed that Celestia wasn’t wearing her crown. A few soft kicks removed her hoof guards, while a flick of magic lifted the burden from her neck. It was a very rare sight to witness Celestia without her regalia, and something that Twilight found surprisingly enticing.

Twilight allowed her eyes to drink in the pure form of her love. She led her gaze across every curve until she found herself drawn to a speck of red. Between Celestia’s teeth was a small, bright cherry. The younger mare wasn’t sure what the cherry was for, but before she could contemplate the possibilities she noticed the golden glow of Celestia’s horn. Her eyes darted around, trying to see what spell might be being cast, but there was nothing readily visible to give away the surprise.

Celestia made her way onto the bed, her gaze never leaving Twilight’s. Slowly, their muzzles drew closer. Closer. Suddenly, Twilight’s vision was filled with a spray of white. There was a cold sensation on her nose. Celestia leaned in even closer and carefully placed her cherry on top of the cold, white swirl. Celestia broke the silence with a sultry voice. “You know, Twilight, a very wise pony once told me that everything is better with a cherry on top.”

Twilight was very, very glad for Pinkie’s foresight.

Celestia continued to stay in charge, darting in to lick some of the creamy white mound off Twilight’s nose. The brief, warm caress of her lover's tongue across her nose caused Twilight’s wings to twitch. Twilight’s mind reached back to her memories of Pinkie’s books, touching upon a devious inspiration.

With a flick of her magic, Twilight suddenly wrested control of the whipped cream canister and began her counter assault. A quick spray on Celestia’s nose, followed by a lick of her own, and Twilight had returned the favor. Before she could lose her momentum, Twilight grabbed the cherry with her magic and brought it to her lover’s lips. Twilight moved in for a kiss, sealing the cherry’s fate. Tongues fought over the tiny fruit as it danced a waltz around its captors. The cherry was determined to put up a fight, but it’s dance was ended by an experienced play from Celestia. Teeth gently pressed into the soft fruit, releasing a small burst of sweet flavor into both mouths. Boldly, Twilight reached out and stole half of the prize from its captor.

The sweet kiss faded and the two pulled apart. As Celestia finished off her half of the cherry, the traitorous canister doused one of her ears with its cold cream. Twilight maneuvered around to Celestia’s side before reaching up to slowly trace her tongue along the edge of the covered ear. From base to tip, Twilight caressed. Once at the peak, she brought her tongue around the creamy mound in a quick swirl. Several small laps cleaned the area, eliciting a tiny moan of pleasure from Celestia. Twilight hesitated for a moment, unsure where to take her exploration.

Another devious idea surfaced in her mind. Something she’d always heard about, but never had the chance to try. She leaned in close and, using her teeth, brought a gentle pressure to the tip of Celestia’s ear. A sudden gasp from below startled her. Afraid that she’d done something wrong, Twilight retreated back to a sitting position. Celestia turned her head to face Twilight, a frown locked firmly on her face. Just as embarrassment began to set in, Celestia spoke, her tone ever gentle. “Why did you stop?”

Twilight felt the heat rising in her, well… everywhere. A cute giggle from Celestia lowered her defenses enough for the elder alicorn to steal back the can of whipped cream. A smile grew across Celestia’s lips as she closed the distance. Twilight tried to summon back her confidence, but she was no longer the one in control. Celestia carefully planted a kiss on the tip of Twilight’s horn. With the smaller alicorn distracted, a pair of white hooves swiftly pushed against Twilight. Celestia’s wings twitched at the slight squeak as her lover landed on her back.

With a sultry grin and a hungry glint in her eyes, Celestia crept slowly forward. The can of whipped cream moved much faster, tracing a line of its sweet, white fluff down Twilight’s belly. Celestia eased forward, allowing expectations to build tension. Without warning, the door to the room flew open as Luna burst into the room.

“Fear not, sister! I have returned!” Luna exclaimed. Twilight’s face turned an unusual shade of red.

Celestia remained focused on the tantalizing trail of white, "Luna, I thought you were in the Crystal Empire."

Luna strolled confidently over to the bed, a smile on her face. "I was, until our dear niece informed me of Twilight's complete lack of experience."

"I was about to take care of that," Celestia snapped.

"I can see that. Shall I fetch my box of teaching aids? Or would you prefer me to-" A golden flash interrupted Luna, forcing her to shut her eyes. When she opened her eyes, Luna found her gaze met by her favorite niece and nephew who were engaged in an intimate embrace. She beamed them a smile. “Ah, tis good to see my advice is helping.”

"Oh come on!" Cadance shouted.

Shining Armor spoke up. “Oh, hey, Luna. Perfect timing. I had a question about-" he was swiftly interrupted by a very aggressive pillow encased in a blue glow.

“Why are you back here? I thought you were going to help Twilight," Cadance spat.

Luna grinned slyly, "There was no need. They appeared to have the whipped cream under control."

Author's Note

Surprise!

Post Credits Scene

Shining Armor and Cadance found themselves staring at a very large box that had been deposited in front of the Crystal Empire’s throne. Attached was a letter addressed to Cadance. The letter flew over to her and unfurled.

To my dearest niece,

I know how much you love spending time with your aunt Luna, so I suggested that she pay you a visit. Enclosed is a gift for you and Shining Armor. I hope you enjoy it.

Love,
Princess Celestia

Suddenly, the box burst open. Luna came flying out and made a loud gasping sound. “AIR! GLORIOUS AIR!” she exclaimed.

Shining Armor and Cadance stared in shock at the appearance of their new visitor. Many questions ran through their minds, but none were given answers as Luna swiftly turned to address them. "Fair niece and nephew, I have arrived at your beckoning!"

Cadance replied with the most sensible answer she could think of. "What?!"

Luna landed and approached the throne. As she spoke, her tone steadily grew more foreboding with each new word. "Sister has informed me of the many concerns the two of you have been dealing with in regards to your recent inheritance of the Crystal Empire, and that you had been too shy to request my assistance.” – an exuberant smile grew on her face – “Fear not, for I have arrived with a detailed list of every woe that is to be addressed, and I shall not leave until your problems have been vanquished!"

The couple replied in unison with the only thing that came to mind. "What?!"

Luna’s horn lit with magic as a thick scroll floated out of the box. She promptly began to read from it, her tone no less serious than before. "Item one, Shining Armor is experiencing difficulty in attending to the needs of his wife." Luna paused briefly as her smile shifted. Something about it had suddenly become more worrisome to the couple. Luna continued with complete confidence. "Tis a good thing that Sister recommended I bring my collection of marital enhancement implements. Did you know I was originally in charge of blessing couples with such items for their marital consummation? Romance was once my purview, and once more shall I don the robes of my ancient duty to aid thee in thy time of need!"

Cadance attempted to protest. "Luna, that's very generous of you-"

The protest was cut short by Luna’s sudden outburst. "Indeed it is!” She approached Shining Armor and placed a hoof on his shoulder. “Now, Shining Armor, let us begin with some instruction of proper techniques. You should probably remove your armor for this part, by the way."

Shining turned to Cadance with a deadpan expression. "You made Celestia angry didn't you?"

Luna shouted once more, her voice was climbing towards a dangerous volume. "Nay! You must begin with soothing words, not meaningless chatter! Now, we should probably requisition a bed chamber, unless public seduction has come back in style." The guards stationed around the room did their best to hide their amusement. It was a noble attempt, even if it did not last more than a few moments.

Dear Auntie Celestia,

I am so sorry for whatever made you do this. Please take her back! I had no idea Luna was such a tactless pervert. She keeps insisting on watching me and Shining when we try to make love so she can offer advice. I’m starting to worry that Shining might be enjoying it.

Love and fearful respect,
Cadance

P.S. I don’t know what she thinks she’s going to do with those things she brought with her, but they are not coming anywhere near me! Seriously, one of them moves on its own! Your sister is really creepy.

Author's Note

That's all! Seriously, there's no more. No stop glaring at me like that, I'm not making you any promises damnit!

Many thanks to my friend Blue_Paladin42. I would never have gotten this done with your help. And, of course, thank you to all my readers. Seriously, you guys make all this work totally worth it.

For anyone who is interested in seeing what I'm working on now, or checking out hints at things coming out down the road, feel free to check out my blog.