(We Are) The Road Crew

by Priest of Syrinx

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Comedy, Random
Length: 2910

Being a member of the road crew is a rather tough job. Especially when the band has a gig at the Grand Galloping Gala. And they don't have their instruments. Or their amps. or anything.

It's a night before the Gala show. Hit band Luna's Kneecap are scheduled to play the Grand Galloping Gala in Canterlot. However, they don't seem to have their instruments. Or their amps. Or anything. However, a select few, however quite humorously and destructive, can fix it up anything. Because...

Published 2013-08-03 16:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-03 16:40:02 UTC

(We Are) The Road Crew

Mic Check slowly rose out of bed, with a smile on his face. After all, tonight was going to be huge.

Mic, along with his 3 best friends Tone and Motor, were the Road Crew for Equestrian Rock band Luna's Kneecap. Why or how they had come to such a preposterous conclusion was beyond Mic but just about everything they did was ridiculous and/or harmful. That was why they existed, however.

Tonight, they would be playing the Grand Galloping Gala in Celestia's presence. The were an extraordinarily average band and didn't deserve it, but the Grand Equestrian Orchestra had recently been in a horrible accident. Apparently, it was so bad that the only non-violent piece of information they could give on the accident was that 7 wombats were involved. However, that gave Luna's Kneecap a spot at the Gala due to no one else wanting to play there because they thought the same would happen to them.

He did his usual morning routine and picked up the phone to call the band. He always had to make sure they were okay, in case they had done something stupid over night. It took 5 rings before they picked up the phone.

"Hey, Mic." said Drummer, the guitarist and lead singer for the band.

"Yo, drum. Where are you guys? We gotta get to the palace to set up the stage and do some sound checks. The Gala's tonight and we need to get there early."

"THAT'S TONIGHT?" Mic bit his lip and gave a deep sigh.

"Put the phone on speaker. Where are you?" Mic Demanded.

"Appleloosa." replied Shredder, the keyboard player.

"Applelossa? That's 3 hours away by train! Why the hell are you in Appleloosa? Wait, don't tell me; how much alcohol did you drink?" Mic demanded.

"All of it." Keys, the bassist, replied.

"..."

"..."

"What do you mean, "All of It"?" asked Mic. Bass, the drummer, spoke up.

"We woke up outside of a bar in Appleoosa. When we came in, the bartender started yelling at us to get out! We asked him why, and he said we drank all of the alcohol they had and we didn't pay for it. We're currently in Appleoosa jail right now, and he needs to order 17 more trucks of alcohol." Mic's face was that of a mix between confusion and disbelief.

"How are you still alive?" He asked the band.

"We don't know." the band replied at the same time.

"We can get you out on bail from the proceeds we got for playing at that anime convention two weeks ago. Just grab your instruments and gear and head back down to Canterlot. We might be able to pull something out of the hat this time. I can pay for the luggage, just-"

"We sold our instruments and gear." Drummer said. A long pause followed before Mic began to scream.

"TO WHO!?" Mic asked. The band could feel his rage over the phone. It felt a little like hitting your funny bone.

"We got these checks that are all from Ponyville. We must have went there and sold all of our stuff." Shredder replied.

"Idiots...find a way to get here as fast as you can. We'll go to Ponyville and get all those instruments and gear back some how. We won't get a sound check so we'll have to just have to show up. In the mean time, please don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. Bye."

Mic threw the phone out the window in rage. After hearing a thump and the sound of a body hit the concrete he quickly began to make his way out of his hotel room. However, after noticing that his dark black mane and tail with his white fur didn't look sexy enough he went back into his bathroom to style it. It was the sirens outside that finally made him bolt out the hotel.

* * * * * *

Mic finally got off the train to Ponyville. He looked around for his friends and found them chatting around the ticket station.

"How did you guys get here before me?" Mic asked, setting his luggage down next to them both.

"We flew here. Duh." Said Tone. Both Tone and Motor were Pegasi. Motor was a big and muscular pony with green fur and a black mane and tail while Tone was and average size pony with orange fur and a purple mane and tail who always wore blacked out shades. All three had the same eye color, being blue.

"You really have to master that teleporting spell." Tone teased. Mic shivered at the words. The last time he tried that spell he ended up in a bathroom stall in Neigh Orleans. It was occupied.

"Say, you hear about that mare that was killed by a flying cellphone?" Motor asked.

"NO." Mic exclaimed loudly.

"Well, we might as well look for those instruments and gear. We should start by asking around town to see if anypony saw them...you have the cash, don't you Tone?" Motor said. Tone nodded and they began to walk into town. It was very rural; small house like buildings, but it was a big city. They started to overhear a conversation to the left of them.

"Did you hear? Rainbow Dash somehow got a hold of the guitarist from Luna's Kneecaps guitar! She said she got it for 47 cents and a paperclip." one mare said.

The three toned out the rest of the conversation as they kept walking.

"Well, it looks like we found our first instrument. How do you think we'll find this Rainbow Dash?" asked Tone with a hint of satisfaction in his voice.

"I don't know. I'm hungry and heard there's an epic bakery down the street from here. You guys wanna eat while we decide how to find this pony?" Mic suggested. Both of them agreed and they headed to the bakery.

They arrived shortly after the conversation. It was called Sugercube Corner, and looked like a huge gingerbread house. tone was wondering if the welcome mat was edible when they walked in the door to hear a loud mare's voice. She had a light blue coat and her mane and tail were various colors.

"-47 cents and a paperclip!" The mare bragged to a another pink mare behind the counter. in her hooves was none other then Drummer's guitar; a red body shaped like a lightning bolt and and a mahogany neck. It was truly a fine instrument, treated by it's owner like it was worth 47 cents and a paperclip; it had scratches and dents all over it and the paint was coming off.

"What an unbelievable stroke of luck!" Tone exclaimed.

"Okay, so here is what we do; we explain to her who we are and what the situation is, and maybe, with our charming looks and diplomatic skills we might be able to pitch an affordable price and make a win-win situation where everyone is wholly satisfied." Mic suggested.

"Or we can take her out and pay nothing." Motor suggested. Tone and Mic looked at each other and nodded.

"Let's do it." They agreed.

The three began to walk towards the mare. She noticed them and began to say something when Motor grabbed the guitar and at the same time delivered a vicious left hoof to her face. She slumped to the floor, unconscious as soon as the large pony had made contact.

"BOOM!" yelled Tone, looking down upon the fallen mare.

"Whatchu know about THAT?" Mic exclaimed, holding his arms wide in a taunting manner.

"Nice shot!" the pink mare behind the counter said, having witnessed the whole thing. She high-hooved the three as they made their way out the door of the bakery. After realizing they forgot to order something to eat, they quickly went back into bakery and ordered some food. After eating, they dropped the guitar off at the train station.

* * * * * *

"Alright, we have six hours until the show starts. We need to inquire about the amps and stuff and get that out of the way first. Should we make a public announcement? That might help us get through this faster." Tone asked.

"Alright, let's do it." The all went to a small market strip and got up on some crates.

"ATTENTION, EVERYPONY! DO ANY OF YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SOMEPONY RECENTLY PURCHASING AMPLFIERS?" Mic asked to the crowd. They all stared up at the three in amusement.

"Nopony cares!" croaked and old stallion sitting in a chair behind one of the booths in the market place.

"I'd come over there and beat the crap outta you, but you'd probably die before I got over there." Motor said.

"You don't have the guts!" screamed the pony. Motor hopped down from his crate, advancing towards the pony. No one seemed to keen to stop him.

He went up to the old stallion and punched him in the stomach once, making him bend over. He then proceeded to to grab a hold of the prone senior citizen and brought him in front of his booth, where he tossed him into it as hard as he could. The pony flew into the wood structure which in turn caused it to collapse, sending watermelons flying everywhere. There was no sound coming from the sprawled body on the ground.

"BINGO!" Motor cleverly taunted as he walked back to his crate and stood on it. The horrified looks on Tone and Mic's faces matched just about the look on everypony else's face.

"Now we're gonna ask again; DID ANYPONY HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT A TRANSACTION INVOLVING AMPLIFIERS?" demanded Motor. Now they seemed less amused and ready to talk.

"V-Vinyl Scratch told me she recently bought Amps from some moderately successful rock band for her new sound system at her house, i-if that's what you were looking for. Her house is the first one on the left when turn right down the street here." They all nodded.

"Yes. Thank you, kind mare. How can we repair you for this service you have given us today?" Mic asked.

"Please don't kill me!" the Mare replied, hiding behind her hooves.

"No promises." Motor remarked as they hopped down from the crates and began to walk to this Vinyl Scratch's house.

The house appeared to be a normal Ponyville home; two stories, white with a few details painted gold, but the off thing about it was the horrible noise coming within and the flashing lights coming from every opening in the house. all three cringed at the residents at approach.

"DJ's..." grumbled all three at the same time.

"Jinx! You two owe me a soda." said Mic with a twinge of self pride. Motor and Tone groaned.

Coming back from the market, Mic sipping his sodas with two different straws, they burst into the house to be met with not electronic music but oriental music. The mare they assumed was Vinyl was sitting crosshooved in the middle of the living room, two katana's strapped to her back. The mare did not look up as the three ponies entered the house. She showed no emotion.

"I've been expecting you." she said.

"Umm..I assumed you were a DJ from the music outside..." Motor began.

"A rather clever ruse. My magic is powerful enough to make the sounds outside sound different from the ones within. It is one of the specialties of my order." The three stallions slowly backed away.

"Yea...we just wanted our amps and microphone's back..." Tone began before Vinyl drew both swords and jumped in front of them.

"I knew this many years ago. And thus brings the end of my wait; you must be worthy opponents to retrieve what you seek. You will have to fight me...to the death!" Vinyl explained.

"When is it ever not to the death?" Motor asked.

"Well, you remember that one movie with the illegal fight ring in that barn in St.Poniesburg-" Mic began.

"Slience! Which one of you will be my first victim?" Vinyl asked.

"I got this, guys." Tone replied. "Bring it on!"

* * * * * *

The three walked out of the building, with Tone and Motor looking appalled for the 3rd time today.

"T-That was horrible!" Mic said.

"I...didn't know a leg could bend that way." admitted a genuinely interested Motor.

"Come on, guys! You two take the mics and amps to the station and drop them off. I'll go see if I can find out where the drums, bass and keyboards went after I clean up this place." Still horrified, they both nodded and gathered everything to drop off at the train station. When they finally dropped everything off, Mic called Tone.

"Yo, tone. Ya find the stuff?" Mic asked.

"I didn't think you were that kind of guy but I do have a variety of-"

"No, I mean the instrumen-wait WHAT?" Mic asked.

"Nothing. But I can do ya one better; I have them. Or had them. I shipped the stuff to Canterlot Gardens for the Gala."

"Wow, how'd ya get them that fast?" asked Mic.

"The mare I got it from couldn't seem to recall why she bought them but said she'd give them to me if I gave her a muffin. I went to her pantry, got a muffin and gave it to her. Boom."

"Sweet. Let me call the band and see how far away they are." he hung up.

"Ship everything to Canterlot Gardens. Tone got the rest of it in a shady deal." Mic said.

"Sweet." Motor replied. Mic smiled and call the band. Drummer answered the phone.

"Hey man. Where are you guys? We have 4 hours to get everything ready and that isn't enough time I would like, so you need to get down to Canterlot." Mic said. A long silence proceeded to follow.

"Yea..." Drummer began. Mic sighed.

"Let's put it at this; will you be able to make it to Canterlot?" he asked.

"No." Drummer replied. Mic bit his lip.

"What did you do?" asked Mic, not being able to guess what could keep them from arriving at Canterlot.

"I really don't want to talk about it, but we're in the Pacific Ocean." Drummer replied.

Mic hung up. He went to his contacts and erased all of the band members. He unfriended them on Facebook and unsubscribed to their Youtube account and deleted all documents With Luna's Kneecap and him on the same article. He took his phone and chucked it as hard as he possibly could. Before it had a chance to land a high speed train collided with it, sending shards flying everywhere. Motor and Tone, who had just arrived, rolled their eyes.

"They aren't going to make it, are they?" Tone asked.

"No, they aren't. You know what we gotta do." Mic replied.

"Start a coffee shop and hope for moderate success?" Motor asked.

"No, Motor." Mic said, a smile on his face.

"We gotta play the Gala."

* * * * * *

Ponies of all shapes, sizes and races were crowded around the stage. Princess Celestia stood on the stage, attempting to calm everypony down after the last performance.

"Alright. We had The Grand Equestrian Orchestra scheduled but they couldn't make it." The crowd gave a collective "Aww."

"Luna's Kneecap was supposed to play next, but they couldn't make it either, so we have another rock band for you tonight. Please welcome. THE ROAD CREW!"

Tone, on guitar and vocals, Mic on drums and Motor on bass, walked on stage.

"This one's dedicated to a mare we punched in the face. ONE TWO THREE FOUR!"

They launched into the song. All of them were playing their instruments very well, as they always were better then Luna's Kneecaps. they all simultaneously pondered why they didn't forget them and start their own band before they mentally kicked themselves/

Motor was finally glad they were noticed. The road crew was always back doing their job that no one knew about, the most important thing of all. Now it was their time to shine.

Tone was worried that his swag level might be too high but he decided to ignore it. He was by far the coolest person in the group and no one cares about the bassist or the drummer so he was totally set to be the public figure. Tone smiled at this thought as he kept singing.

Mic was thinking about the soda he had earlier that afternoon. It was a perfect blend of citrus with just the right amount of carbonation, topped off with real sugar. It truly was the best moment in his life. Oh, this was pretty cool as well.

The crowd loved them and sang along to the chorus once they got it. By the end of the song, the crowd was cheering wildly.

The band smashed all the instruments they had. Tone stabbed the amps with his guitar while Mic was busy kicking through his bass drum along with his whole drum set. Motor was completely wrecking havoc on his bass, it flying in shards around him. The band gave the audience an inappropriate gesture before running off the stage in triumph.

Princess Celestia stared at the band in confusion. Her student walked up to her, looking on as well.

"Everything okay, Princess?" Twilight asked.

"...They had 9 songs left." The Princess replied, confused.