A Dash of Amontillado
From the Works of Edgar Allan Pony
That was the last straw. Applejack didn’t consider herself a vengeful pony, and she certainly wasn’t known as one who held a grudge. Still, Rainbow Dash had finally gone too far. The nerve of some ponies! Who the hay did she think she was, anyhow? Embarassin’ me like that... and she probably scared Apple Bloom half to death! No two ways about it, RD was gonna get it.
The only trouble would be, how? AJ was no genius when it came to payback, and cider season was only a few weeks away...
Applejack smiled to herself. Maybe she was a genius, after all.
* * *
Cider season was going the same way it always had... Pinkie was first in line, as usual. That line, as usual, stretched farther than anypony could see. Most importantly, Rainbow Dash was nowhere near the front of the line, as usual.
“Sorry, everypony, that’s all fer today!” Apple Bloom delivered the bad news, as usual. It was all falling into place.
Everypony was going back to their homes, many saddened by the lack of cider in their stomachs. One pegasus was especially upset. Can you guess who?
“Rainbow Dash!”
The blue pegasus was surprised to hear her name, and looked around to see who was calling her. It was Applejack!
“Um, hi AJ. Listen, I’m sorry about what happened a couple weeks ago. It was just a harmless prank though, right? No hard feelings?”
“Aw, shucks, RD. ‘Course not. Good friends don’t hold grudges over silly ol’ things like that.” Applejack was lying through her teeth, of course. But she was doing an admirable job of hiding it, especially for an inexperienced liar like her. “In fact, I’ve got a little surprise fer ya.”
“Uh... surprise?” Rainbow looked unsure.
“Eeyup. I set aside some cider, just fer you.” Rainbow Dash’s eyes lit up.
“Really?!” She hugged the orange pony, nearly knocking her hat off. “Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou so much! This is so cool of you!”
“Heh, don’t mention it.” AJ smiled, a crueller expression than she had ever emoted before. “What’r friends for?”
* * *
The two ponies went to the Apple farmhouse; Applejack walking, Rainbow Dash fluttering alongside. When they arrived, Applejack began to unlock her cellar door, while Rainbow kept looking around.
“Hey, where is everypony?”
AJ acted as though she didn’t hear at first, then replied when her friend began to look concerned. Was she nervous already?
“Oh, Granny Smith usually has a nap around this time --cider season’s gettin’ to be hard on ‘er, ya know. Apple Bloom’s probably off somewhere with the other fillies, doin’ who-knows-what, like they do. I dunno about Big Mac... maybe he’s got himself a lady friend!” Applejack chuckled, and Rainbow laughed, too. They both knew Big Mac wasn’t much of a romantic, but Applejack wasn’t laughing at her lame little joke. She knew the truth: the Apples were away, because Applejack said so.
As the two mares walked down into the cellar, she mused about how she had always been the alpha of the family, and with good reason! Older than Apple Bloom, stronger than Granny, and just a little smarter than Macintosh. And, if she was lucky, just a little smarter than Rainbow Dash.
“Wow,” said the technicolor-maned pony said at length, “I never realized your cellar was this big.” Indeed, they had been walking for nearly ten minutes.
“Yeah, well...” AJ replied, “ya just never know when ya need a little extra space. Ya know, storage?” She finally came to the door she was looking for. “Ah! here ya’are.”
When AJ opened the door, Rainbow practically dove in. So excited to get what she deserves!
When Dash got inside, and AJ flicked on the light, she stopped, jaw slack. The room was nearly full of barrels of cider!
“WOW!” She exclaimed, “AJ, when you said you set aside some cider, I thought you meant just, like, a mug or two! Look at all this!” Her mouth began to water.
“Well, I figure after all these years with such rotten luck,” Applejack smiled, “I finally let ya have what was coming to ya. Drink as much as ya kin stand, and Ah’ll help polish off the rest.”
“You’re a real pal, AJ! I can’t imagine the trouble you went to for this!”
Applejack laughed on the inside. She has no idea.
* * *
The two mares drank more in the following hour than anypony could have expected. AJ was still functioning (If there’s one thing an Apple can do, it’s hold their cider.), but Rainbow could barely stand, and kept giggling, trying to explain to AJ what was so funny. The earth pony didn’t understand, and it didn’t matter. Everything had gone according to plan, now all that was left was to finish her work.
“Never leave a job half-done.” Her father had always said.
And so, AJ got up, walked past the door, and came back with a bucket in her mouth. Then she came back with a trowel. Finally, she returned with a large palette of bricks, and began her work.
By the time Rainbow Dash became aware of what was going on, the bricks were already up to neck level. She just stared for a few seconds, then said:
“Uh, hey there, Applejack. What’s up?” No answer. “Whatcha doing?”
AJ replied very matter-of-factly,
“Buildin’ a wall.”
It finally dawned on Rainbow what was happening, and there was only one brick out of place. She could see the other pony’s eyes through the gap. She began to panic.
“AJ, you know I hate tight spaces...”
“Eeyup.”
“OK, OK,” Dash forced a laugh. “I get it. This is payback, right? Ha ha, very funny AJ... now...” Applejack just stared, a vengeful smile on her lips.
Rainbow Dash was practically in tears.
“For the love of Celestia, Applejack!”
“Eeyup,” AJ said, final brick in hoof. “Fer the love of Celestia.”
And all went dark.
The brick wall fell over as a solid piece, secured to nothing. AJ still had a smile, but now it was a much more playful grin. Rainbow looked around in confusion and fear.
“Gotcha!”
Author's Note
Well, hopefully that wasn't TOO painful.
This is the first fiction of any kind I've written in years, so please, tell me what you think of it. There will, of course, be more additions to the library.
I'm considering something like this: "The Strange Case of Pinkamena and Dr. Pie"!
Think it's good? Please encourage a young writer.
Think it sucks? Please tell me what I'm doing wrong.
Put requests for similar stories in the comments, or just tell me what's up.
--Your Faithful Author,
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A Word from the Author
I have a serious problem. It all started last fall, when my good friend forced me, against my will, to watch PMVs. (Pony music videos, for the uninitiated.) Allow me to explain. I hated My Little Pony. I hated the very idea of ‘bronies’. This was me:
“Nnh! That’s stupid! Why would anyone actually watch a little girl’s show? That makes my brain hurt from all the dumb! Waah!”
Yeah. Things have definitely changed from that time. My good friend is now my best friend, who rescued me from a world outside Equestria. I have become a shameless brony, and the worst kind, too: a fanfiction writer. You see, I can’t see anything the same way now. Every time I close my eyes, I see candy-colored horses singing and dancing, and having their adorable, yet somehow profound adventures. I can’t stop.
This is a cry of desperation. My hope is that by barfing all of this out like bad tuna, I can return to some form of normalcy. I know that won’t happen: especially with season 4 so close. But I must try, for the sake of who I once was... I... AAUGH!
That’s better. Sorry, everypony, sometimes I go a little crazy. After all, I was always a weirdo, so why should this be any different? I recently took an Advanced Placement English course, and while it was mind-numbingly boring most of the time, some of the stories were decently entertaining. Now that I am a brony, I wonder how those old things measure up to the adventures of Twilight Sparkle, AJ, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and the rest?
Could the two worlds ever... be united?
One way to find out!--Your Faithful Author,
Graphite Scribble
