His Thorn on the Rose
By Regidar
Caramel batted around with his mane for a bit, making sure it looked just the way he had wanted. The stallion spent a lot of his time caring about his mane; he was a bit odd that way. Brushed it for up to ten minutes straight, used liberal amounts of conditioner when he was showering, and spent a good deal of time making sure that once it was dry, it was nice just the way he liked it.
His rigorous morning routines were not in vain, for his brown locks ended up silky, soft, and somewhat sexy, if he didn’t mind making that observation himself. Still, he was stuck now flopping it around so that it died correctly, hooves moving bits of his mane about. Finally, he started to shake his head all around, nodding it very fast, then flopping it side to side. Eventually, his mane was frizzed out messy, but soon gravity started to make it fall back into its regular shape.
Grabbing a small box of caramels that he had made just this morning and dropping them in his saddlebag next to some smoke sticks and a small tinderbox, he set out to his destination; his friend Roseluck’s house.
Caramel had known Roseluck for quite some time; they had been friends since they were just little foals in the schoolyard together, and since then they had only gotten closer. Far closer than Caramel ever wanted to get.
You see, Caramel was in love with Roseluck.
Caramel couldn’t help it, though. He had always liked Roseluck, and over the years it just seemed to... ripen. They were now just starting their twenties, both of them, and in the past few months, he started to pay attention to the things about her he never had before.
It wasn’t like this was his first crush, far from it. Caramel had had special marefriends in the past, and even a coltfriend for a little bit. It was just something about Roseluck as of late that made him realize that he loved her. She wasn’t capable of loving him back though, not in the same way.
Roseluck had always made it clear to everyone that she was interested in mares. Caramel and she even shared fond memories of scoping out fillies together. Perhaps it was in this that Caramel found the attraction. Not being able to have something makes it all the more desirable, after all.
Caramel let his mind wander over this as he trotted to Roseluck’s place. She ran the local flower shop with her marefriend Daisy and her step-sister Lily. Caramel often helped out with the gardening; he found it to be rather enjoyable. It also gave him a chance to talk with Roseluck, which with his recent infatuation with her, meant more than it ever did to him.
Reaching the fence that kept the giant garden contained, he peaked over a field of sunflowers and saw Roseluck working on a patch of lilacs. Caramel whistled sharply to get her attention.
“Hey, hope I’m not too late!”
“Course not!” the mare said in her giggly way. “Come on in, I was just tending to this little patch right here. The main event is just about to start!”
“Main event? Sounds... evocative,” Caramel said in a sly tone. Roseluck rolled her eyes and smiled at him.
“I brought you some of these,” Caramel said, reaching into his bag and pulling out the box of caramels. Roseluck’s grin widened, and she happily accepted them.
“Aw, you don’t have to get them for me!” she said, delighted.
Caramel smirked. “Come on. I know you’d have me fed to your flytraps if I didn’t bring you these caramels now and then.”
“Well, now that you’ve given me the idea...” Roseluck said, tapping her chin in mock thought. The two shared a laugh, and the mare took a caramel into her mouth.
Funny, she has caramel in her mouth, Caramel thought to himself, drooling slightly as he watched his friend enjoy the sweet. I’d like to be in her mouth... Quickly wiping away the drool, he thought in a terrified manner, No. Bad Caramel. That’s creepy. Stop that.
“Alright, let’s go have some fun!” Roseluck exclaimed once she had finished with the caramel. Brushing past the colt that stood next to her, her tail rubbed against his side unintentionally. Caramel squeaked quietly as her felt her soft, well cared for tale brush against him. Even though she worked out in the fields of a huge garden all day, she somehow managed to keep her coat and hair soft as ever.
“What’re we gonna do today?” Caramel asked, joining his friend as he trotted next to her next to a patch of geraniums.
“Well, you know how I rely on bees and hummingbirds to pollinate my flowers?” Roseluck asked, ducking under a branch with a bunch of low hanging ivy draped on it. The two ponies trotted through a small grove of willows that surrounded a large pond containing many lilies.
“Yeah, of course,” Caramel responded, moving out of the way of a small group of bees flying past, heading in the opposite direction that he and Roseluck were currently going in.
“Well, there was just a little bit of evidence to what’s going on,” Roseluck said, in a bit of an annoyed voice.
“What’s happening? Something scaring away the birds and the bees?” Caramel said, grinning impishly.
“Yes, actually,” Roseluck confirmed. Caramel cocked his head in conferment. Roseluck continued as the pair moved deeper into the garden.
“It’s a giant bee, one of those intelligent ones from the Everfree. She moved in here, and’s scaring away all the normal bees and hummingbirds!”
“Where is she?” Caramel asked.
“She’s in where I keep all my roses; stick with the bigger ones, obviously. But because she’s so belligerent, the damn insect is scaring away the damn insects—”
“—and birds,” Caramel pointed out.
“—that pollinate the small ones!” Roseluck groaned. “Anyway, we’re gonna deal with that today. You have the smoke sticks I asked for, right?”
Caramel nodded, and delved into his backpack for a moment. He returned shortly with two of said smoke stick grasped firmly in his mouth. Roseluck smiled.
“Alright!” Caramel could see Roseluck was very happy about this development. “That’ll make fighting her so much easier!”
“Woah,” the stallion said, eyes wide. “Fighting?”
“Well, yeah,” Roseluck said, completely serious. “How else are we gonna get rid of the bee? Just ask it politely?”
“Well why not?”
“Because if it were that easy, I would have gotten rid of it already!” Roseluck explained, as though that were the most obvious fact in the entire world.
“But you don’t strike me as the fighting type,” Caramel said. “In fact, in all my years of knowing you, I know you’re not the fighting type! Whatever happened to—” he adopted a squeaky, high pitched voice in a bad rendition of Roseluck’s own for the next part. “—’The horror! The HORROR!’?”
Roseluck scowled at him, but soon, they were both laughing over it.
“Well, insects are a bit different than bunny or cow stampedes,” Roseluck pointed out. “Bees just don’t seem to bug me as much.”
“Hehe. Bug,” Caramel said with a little chuckle.
“Oh, shut it,” Roseluck groaned lightheartedly, and batted Caramel’s brown mane. “We’ve got to take this completely seriously. This bee could end up causing a lot of trouble for us. You’ve got the tinderbox too?”
Caramel nodded, and retrieved the tinderbox from his pack.
“Alright, let’s light these sticks up and get to work,” Roseluck advised. “It’s gonna be a nasty job.”
The two were now at the very entrance to the rose section of the giant garden. Caramel could see the huge roses, tall as trees, waving in the wind. He could also here the colossal buzzing noise that could only be from their enemy. Roseluck opened the gate, and the two slowly entered the rose grove.
“Alright, let’s light the sticks,” she said, taking the tinderbox contents and striking up some sparks on the end of her smoke stick. It began to smolder after a few moments, and she smiled. Grasping the stick in her mouth, she brought it up to Caramel’s, and soon his was smoking as well.
Caramel packed up the tinderbox, and the pair began to hunt for the bee.
After some time, Caramel began to think that it was hopeless to find this giant bee, when the buzzing intensified. A huge yellow blur shot past him, as both he and Roseluck ducked low to the ground.
“There she is,” Roseluck smiled with certainty. “Alright, what are we waiting for?” The two charged after the giant insect, ready to dish out damage to scare it off.
The bee, which seemed to be flying away from them in fear, turned around very quickly and charged them. Caramel dodge to the side, nearly impaling himself on a giant rose thorn as he did so.
Roseluck waved the smoke stick at the bee, creating a sort of smoke screen for the bee to be warded off with. The bee was confused by this, but kept buzzing closer to Roseluck. Caramel sprung back up and snuck behind the bee as it corned Roseluck up to a tree on the edge of the rose garden.
With all his might, Caramel ran and leapt onto the back of the giant menacing insect. Confused, the bee dipped down, almost touching the ground from the weight the stallion put on it. Buzzing in annoyance, it shook itself until Caramel flew off, landing in the petals of a giant white rose.
Roseluck kept waving her smoke stick at bee, trying to stall its advances. However, the giant insect kept getting closer, readying its stinger.
Caramel slid out of the soft petals of the huge flower, and landed on his hooves. Sprinting towards Roseluck as fast as he could, he shoved the mare out of the way just as the bee shot forward to land a deadly sting.
Caramel’s own momentum thankfully carried him just far enough to escape the stinger himself. Instead, the bee became imbedded in the wood of the tree, thrashing around in anger as he tried to free herself. Eventually, the stinger came loose, and the bee fell to the ground, crawling away.
“Don’t think that it’ll be bothering us anymore,” Caramel said, looking at the giant stinger in awe.
“You were amazing!” Roseluck flung her arms around the colt, who blushed and felt his legs get a bit weak. She let go, and started trotting through a patch of smaller roses. “Come on, let’s head to the hill, we can rest over there.”
“I thought it’s take longer to get rid of the bee, to be honest,” Caramel said as they trotted away from the tree with the reminder of the battle lodged in it.
“Yeah, I guess we got lucky that we were able to dispatch of it so quickly,” Roseluck called back with a nod. The two reached another gate, and Roseluck opened it for Caramel to trot through first. She followed him as the two of them climbed up the hill and sat under the shade of an oak.
“What’ya what to do now?” asked Caramel, looking at Roseluck. The sun sparkled in her mane, although that could have just been something that his mind made up.
Roseluck thought for a moment. “You’re pretty good at singing, why don’t you treat me?”
“I’m not that good,” Caramel said.
“Come on, you sing all the time, let’s hear it!” Roseluck nudged Caramel. “I like your voice!”
“Well, fine,” Caramel said, smiling and rolling his eyes. He cleared his throat, and began to sing.
“Lunatic of a god?
or a god of a Lunatic?
Oh, their faces are dancing
They're dancing til'
til' they can't stand it
A composer but never composed
Singin the symphonies of the overdosed
Composer but never composed
Singin...
I only want what I can't have!
I only want what I can't haaaaaveee!"..."
Roseluck clapped her hooves, and Caramel blushed. “Really, my voice lacks the necessary melody to sing Fall Out Foal songs...” he mumbled.
“You did fine, don’t worry!” Roseluck encouraged him. Caramel’s grin widened.
“You know, I had a friend back in high school who was holding out for the lead singer of Fall Out Foal,” Roseluck said with a smirk.
“We went to the same high school, Rose, you can tell me who it was,” Caramel deadpanned, rolling his eyes.
“It was Lily,” Roseluck admitted.
“So that’s why she wouldn’t date me!” Caramal said thoughtfully. Roseluck giggled and swatted him on the shoulder. Caramel returned the laugh, and with synchronized sighs, the two gazed up at the blue, blue sky.
Time melted into a goopy puddle of calm molasses, add the two didn’t resurface from their laziness until there was a sharp call from a voice both of them knew well.
“Rosey!” called Daisy, excited.
“Daisy!” Roseluck hopped to her hooves, and galloped over to embrace her lover. The two kissed briefly, and Caramel felt the urge to hurt small animals rise inside him.
“How was it back at the shop?” Roseluck asked, giving her marefriend another quick hug.
“It went pretty well,” Daisy said enthusiastically. “But what I really need to know is how you dealt with that bee!”
“Oh, we kicked its stinger!” Roseluck announced triumphantly. “Caramel was amazing!”
“I guess...” Caramel said, blushing a bit.
“Oh, don’t downplay yourself!” Roseluck said somewhat seriously. “You were willing to take that stinger for me! And, you were able to move fast enough so that it got its damn stinger stuck in that tree, you were awesome!”
“Woah, that does sound awesome!” Daisy said. “You weren’t scared?”
“Damn right I was!” Caramel said. The two mares giggled. “But I toughened up. Not letting some lousy bee get the best of me, no way.”
Roseluck grinned hugely. “Well, he’s all dealt with.” Wiping her brow, she looked to the west at the sinking sun. “Wow, is the day starting to wrap up already? I better head back and help Lily and you clean up, Daisy!”
Roseluck trotted over to Caramel, and pulled him in for a hug. The stallion felt his back legs grow weak, and his heart began to beat quickly. He returned the embrace, lingering longer than he should have. When Roseluck pulled away, he toppled over, his jelly legs unable to hold him up.
Roseluck smiled down at him. “See you tomorrow, Caramel!”
“You will be around tomorrow, right? Out in the garden I mean, not working in the shop,” Caramel asked anxiously.
Roseluck looked at Daisy, who nodded. Turning back to the colt, she said, “Well, they both say it’s alright, so everything’s alright here! Catch you tomorrow!”
“Yeah, see you guys,” Caramel said, and the two mares left. Caramel slowly crawled away on his stomach, until the feeling returned in his legs. From there, he galloped all the way home as fast as he possibly could.
He made himself a small dinner, and tried to read a book on his couch to pass away the evening, but his thoughts kept coming back Roseluck. The way she moved, her tail swishes, how she kicked the hide of that obnoxious bee and still looked good doing it...
Caramel groaned. Normally, he didn’t dwell on this, since it filled him with bad feelings, knowing that he couldn’t be with her, not ever.
Sighing, the stallion resigned himself to a night of sleep. He was tired from all that running around and bee fighting, and after all, everypony needs sleep. Maybe Luna would be kind and grace him with a dream about Roeluck where things worked out in his favor.
Heading upstairs, he washed the grime from himself, and readied for bed. He brushed his teeth, set up new sheets, blew out the lantern, and opened the window. Snuggling into his blankets, he settled in for sleep.
As he drifted off to sleep, his tired mind began to wander, and as usual, they wandered to thoughts of Roseluck. He imagined her laying there beside him in the bed, her soft eyes gazing at him, and her warm breath on the nape of his neck. He moved closer, brushing against her soft fur, slowly moving down her body. He closed his eyes, moving in for a kiss, letting his hooves trail down even further—
“Woah, dinner and a movie first, buddy!” Caramel nearly wet himself in terror. It wasn’t an imaginary Roseluck who was next to him, but a very real Thunderlane.
“Thunderlane!” Caramel said, beside himself in both anger and horror. “What are you doing in here?”
“You left the window open! That’s bro-code for ‘come in and chill’!” Thunderlane said in his defense. Caramel scowled.
“I never agreed to your asinine ‘bro-code’, you know,” Caramel complained.
“Yeah, whatever,” Thunderlane said.
“Also doesn’t explain why you were under the covers.”
“It was chilly,” the pegasus said simply. Caramel rolled his eyes, although Thunerlane didn’t see that in the dark.
“So, what’s on your mind?” Thunderlane asked, fluffy the pillow his head was on up a bit.
Caramel snorted. “Nothing that you’d be sympathetic to...”
“Come on!” Thunderlan said, in a fake hurt voice. “I can be sympathetic!”
“Yeah, right...” Caramel turned back on the pegasus, closing his eyes and getting ready to fall asleep. However, Thunderlane was soon shaking him awake again.
“Come on, you can tell me... we’re bros, remember? Bro-code, dude, bro-code!”
The earth pony sighed in defeat. “Guess I’m not gonna get much sleep otherwise...”
Thunderlane leaned in.
“I’ve got... mare troubles,” Caramel said.
“Ah, little Caramel’s in love!” Thunderlane exclaimed in a giddy tone, but after a quick kick from Caramel under the covers, he cleared his voice and said completely seriously, “Go on. Who are you falling for?”
“Roseluck,” Caramel mumbled.
Thunderlane gasped. “Roseluck? But she’s been your friend for ages! That violates bro-code!”
“Isn’t bro-code male specific?” Caramel asked. “Also, shouldn’t you be more concerned that she’s a lesbian?”
“Bro-code’s for both genders, bro,” Thunderlane cleared up for Caramel. “In case you haven’t noticed, there’s only like five guys in Ponyville. Also, her being a lesbian just makes it hotter. You can get into three-ways a lot easier with—” Caramel stuff a hoof in the raunchy pegasus’s mouth.
“Kindly shut up,” Caramel asked, irritated. “You know that a lesbian won’t be able to love me back. I’m not interested in the three-ways.”
“Hey, I dated a lesbian for a year!” Thunderlane said, as though that were supposed to make Caramel feel better.
“Oh yeah, that makes me feel real nice,” Caramel griped with a roll of his eyes. “My douchebag friend was able to hook a lesbian, and I’m not.”
Thunderlane guffawed. “Well, you just gotta step up your game! You’ve gotta— wait, doesn’t she have a special somepony? Roseluck, I mean.”
“Yeah, she does,” Caramel confirmed. “Daisy."
“Oh yeah, it was Daisy she was with. She and Daisy seem... they seem really happy...” Thunderlane said softly, somewhat uncharacteristically for him.
“Wait, what are you going on about?” Caramel asked, suspicious.
Thunderlane sighed. “Well, I’m not a real mushy guy, but sometimes there are certain couples who I see and don’t think ‘I’d like to break them up and bang that mare’.” Caramel raised an eyebrow. “And they’re one of those couples.”
“Great, the one couple Thunderlane has a soft spot, and it’s for the only mare I ever loved,” Caramel sighed in agony.
“Come on, can’t be the only mare you ever loved! What about all your past special someponies?”
“They didn’t have that spark to them, you know?” Caramel said. “I was attracted to them, you know, but I never felt anything like this... for Roseluck, it’s like we’re such a great fit; we love the same books, we listen to the same music, we loved to be around each other, she likes my singing, I like her garden work, it’s... it’s just so nice to be around her!”
Caramel turned to look at Thunderlane, who had fallen asleep. He kicked his rude friend under the covers again, and Thunderlane jerked awake at the jolt of pain.
“Hehe, sorry. Think I got the idea of what you said, though. Well, if you think she’s such a good fit, why don’t you just stay friends? There’s no need to go down on her, although I’m definitely not against you getting some action...”
“Because she’s got a different feel than a friend!” Caramel tried to explain. “It’s so hard to put into words, but I think this isn’t just a stupid crush! She’s been my friend for ages, but only recently do I feel like I want to get real close! I’ve got these feeling that makes me care so deeply for her, and it’s pissing me off!” Caramel grabbed the pillow and smashed against the wall. “But it’s also making me upset, and I just want to be able to curl up with her, and kiss her, and...”
Caramel turned over to Thunderlane, who had a bizarre look on his face. It was almost like... empathy.
“Caramel, I’m gonna do something I don’t do very often and get all emotional and other lame crap with you. I think, in my profession relationship tutor advice—” Caramel snorted. “—that you should get over her. You really need to move away, because I don’t want to see you become a wreck.”
Caramel stared at his jerky pegasus friend. He still clutched the pillow in his hooves, and tears were beginning to form in his eyes. “It’s not gonna be easy...”
Thunderlane shrugged. “Never said it was. Why do you think I stick to one night stands or easy mares? That lesbian I dated did just come from a bad breakup, so I guess that wasn’t really fair...”
“Wait, so if I break Roseluck and Daisy up...” Caramel said, sinking into thought.
Thunderlane shook his head “Nah, that’ll backfire too easily. If they ever found out you orchestrated that, you’d lose a marefriend and a best friend. I wouldn’t risk it.”
Caramel flopped on onto his back, staring up at the sky. “It’s just so... hopeless! I hate being so helpless to do anything, it hurts my head...”
Thunderlane patted Caramel on the chest. “There, there. Life sucks. Get over it. Move past her, find yourself a nice mare or whatever you mushy types do. Go work at a hospice or something, I bet you could pick up desperate dying chicks.”
Caramel gave Thunderlane a disturbed look, and Thunderlane laughed. “I was kidding! Mostly. Point is, move over her. There’s always somepony else.”
And with that, Thunderlane slid out from under the covers, took to the window, and flew off into the night.
Thunderlane’s talk infiltrated Caramel’s dreams. He dreamt of a tiny version of the rude pegasus was following him around, whispering into his ear instructions on how to win the heart of Roseluck. Just as Caramel began to speak to her, however, he kept whispering over and over “Move on from her, move on from her!” Over and over he whispered the words into caramel’s ear, a maddening repetition, until Caramel opened his mouth and screamed aloud.
He woke up in a cold sweat, his sheets sticking to him. Going downstairs, he made himself some tea and a took a caramel— it’s what he always did to calm himself down.
Today, he resolved in his mind as he took sips of the hot leaf juice, is the day I tell Roseluck about this mess.
Finishing up his tea, Caramel went upstairs and showered down, taking his usual time on his mane. While he did all of this, he mulled over his options on what to tell her. Nasty little doubts snuck their way into his head as he did so. Was this worth risking the friendship? What if she was too weirded out to continue being his friend? Was it worth throwing that away?
“I’m not going to suffer in silence any longer,” he told his reflection in the mirror. Staring at himself, he saw just how terrified he truly looked. Turning away from the mirror quickly, he trotted downstairs to head outside.
He took the usual way to her house, but something stopped him as he was going through the little woods that the trail to her house passed through. The little doubts had kept piling together, and the looming cloud of worry finally began to rain on him.
“I love her so much that it hurts, and there’s no way for her to love me back,” Caramel moaned, kicked a rock. He was all alone, nopony to hear him, nopony to help...
“Why do I still have emotions like an angsty teenage colt?” he yelled in frustration, kicking a tree in anger. It shuddered, and a few leaves fell around him. “I just want to be with her, I just want to be happy, just like every other loser whining about his love life...”
Caramel fell onto his plot, a tear brimming in his eye. “Oh, really? I’m gonna cry now? Jeez, make me more pathetic, why don’t you!”
He flopped onto the dirt, sniffling. “I have everything else I could possibly want, I could possibly need, and I’m crying and moaning over one thing that didn’t go my way...”
Caramel began to sob. No more words came from his mouth, no more self-deprecation. He simply lay there in a heap of emotions and self-pity, wetting the ground with his tears.
After a few moments, he inhaled deeply, and stood shakily to his hooves. “I’m not going to be like the others. I’m not going to keep myself trapped in a little wallow-pit of misery. I’m going to march right over to Roseluck and tell her my feelings.” He gasped sharply, and blinked as a few more tears came. “J-just... just to level the playing field. To let her know where I stand. If our friendship is strong enough to survive that, then I know it’ll be worth not... not...”
Caramel tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out. Something in his throat made weird little rasping noises, and he stopped talking. He knew that ranting to himself wasn’t going to help anything anymore, and he set out to find Roseluck.
He reached the garden where she so often resided, but there was nopony there. “Roseluck?” he called out, but got no response.
“Must be in the shop. I’ve got to get this stupid thing resolved,” Caramel mumbled to himself, trotting off towards the flower shop. It was only five minutes away, roughly, so it wasn’t too big of a hassle for him.
Entering the flower shop, he saw Roseluck digging though a box of seeds. Upon hearing the bell that announced Caramel’s arrival, she perked up and smiled at him.
“Caramel! Hi, I’ve got the best news to tell you!”
Caramel faked a smile. “Hey, Rose. I’ve got something to tell you too, but I guess you can go first.”
Roseluck smiled, and showed him a gemmed flower trinket in her mane. “Daisy proposed last night! Isn’t it beautiful? I’m so happy! You know how we’ve been together forever, so she figured she might as well make it official!”
There was a hollow ringing in Caramel’s ears. His mouth opened, and he tried to speak, but his throat was dryer than it ever had been.
“That’s... that’s great!” he said, forcing his fake smile to grow bigger. “That’s amazing, I’m so happy for you two...”
“What was it that you wanted to tell me?” Roseluck asked.
Caramel opened his mouth, and then closed it.
“Nothing, it’s nothing at all.”
