Of Horses And Whorses

by GeodesicDragon

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Comedy, Romance
Length: 17896

A human and his pet horse are transported to Equestria.

Available as a book!

It is a fact that horses have served mankind for thousands of years, in times of war and in times of peace. Your horse – a chestnut mare named Zayna – helps you to earn your primary source of income, in the form of a riding school.

But then, a freak occurrence dumps you both in a strange new land populated by talking ponies. At first, they are a bit hostile due to a misunderstanding — but that's nothing when you realise it's not just ponies who can talk here.

As it turns out, horses can as well.

AUTHOR'S NOTES

Featured on Equestria Daily.

This is NOT an Anonymous in Equestria story.

First two chapters edited by Shin Guyviroth.

Special thanks to Shachza and Alticron for their assistance.

Rated Teen for suggestive themes.

Published 2013-07-24 21:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-04 23:49:10 UTC

It's All In The Pronunciation

For the first time since you can remember, you wake up without the interference of the sun. With a stretch and a yawn, you get out of bed and jump into the shower. There is a lot for you to do today and little time in which to do it.

You have a shower, shave, brush your teeth and get dressed before going downstairs and preparing your breakfast. The fact the sun isn't out tells you it will be cold, so you make a bowl of oatmeal. After devouring it, you head into the hall and take the bridle and saddle which are lying on a table next to your front door.

After locking the front door you walk down your path, your feet crunching on the gravel, and arrive at the stable. You smile upon seeing that you are being watched. Every morning you come down here to take your horse out, and every morning she is waiting for you — it's almost like a ritual of sorts.

"Hey, Zayna," you say cheerfully. "Are you ready for your morning walk?" A gentle whinny is your reply. You open the stable door and Zayna trots up to you, allowing you to put the saddle and bridle on her, then you climb on and pat her neck. "Good girl. Come on, let's go to the old forest today."

You gently tug on the bridle and guide Zayna in the direction where you want her to go. Without hesitation she obeys, and soon she is cantering merrily along a dirt path. The trees sway in the breeze and a crisp, fresh smell tickles your nose.

A loud bang interrupts your idle thoughts. Zayna rears up in fright, before making a loud squealing noise and turning tail. You try in vain to control her, but to no avail. You have no choice but to hold on and enjoy the ride.

"Damn hunters!" you shout. "Nobody told me they'd be out today!"

You try again to control Zayna. This time she responds and slows down to a walking pace before finally stopping, her head hanging low. You get off her back and go round to her front, gently stroking her mane and patting her.

"It's okay, Zayna," you coo. "There's nothing to be scared of here. It's all over now. I'm here to protect you. Nothing bad will happen to you on my watch, all right?"

"All right," a voice replies. "Thank you, master."

You freeze. "W-who said that?!" you demand. "Show yourself!"

Zayna raises her head and nudges you with her nose. "It was me," she says. The colour drains from your face, which doesn't go unnoticed. "Are you all right, master? You look pale."

You fall over with a cry of shock and back away, your heels digging into the wet dirt. Zayna takes a step forward, her eyes fixed firmly upon yours. They are full of concern, and yet no matter how hard you try... you simply cannot look away.

"My... you... you just talked," you stammer. "No... no, this can't be happening. I must have hit my head while you were freaking out over that noise earlier. A low-hanging branch or something." You scramble to your feet and clean the dirt and leaves off your clothes before taking hold of the bridle. You look around the area and sigh, Zayna's little detour having dumped you in an unfamiliar part of the forest. "Come on, Zayna," you mutter. "Let's find our way home. Then you can go back into the stable... and I can get a stiff drink."

"As you wish, master," Zayna replies. You still find the whole idea of a talking horse ridiculous in the extreme, but you put it down to whatever concussion you may have. Deciding that going back in the direction you came in would be a good idea, you start walking along the path with Zayna dutifully following behind.

***

"God dammit," you grumble. "I think we're lost. This is all I need."

You've been walking for hours now, if the fact that day is turning into night is anything to go by, and have stopped by a small river to rest. Zayna is drinking as much water as she can while you sit on a rock and twiddle your thumbs idly. Her thirst slaked, Zayna trots back to your side and nuzzles you.

"I'm sorry, master," she says. "This is all my fault."

You sigh and gently stroke her nose. She lets out a small giggle at this, further adding to your bewilderment. "It's not your fault, Zayna," you reply. "It's mine. I should have made more of an effort to control you." You mentally slap yourself upon realising that you're having a two-way conversation with your pet.

As you continue stroking her, her ears suddenly swivel to the right. "Someone is coming," she says. "Maybe they can help us?"

"Any help is better than no help at all," you reply. "Just... let me do all the talking, okay?"

Zayna nods and cocks her head in the direction of the sound she heard. You strain your own ears to hear it better.

"I'm telling you the truth!" The voice is female and carries a slight tinge of anger. "I really did see these two weird creatures walking through the forest! They're around here somewhere, you'll see!"

"Are they..." you whisper. "They can't be referring to us, can they?" You hide behind the rock and peer over the top of it. Six silhouettes are visible through the canopy of trees. They look equine in nature, which only unnerves you even more.

Sure enough, the silhouettes exit the forest and step onto the path. What you see shocks you. Six small horses, probably ponies, which are looking at you and Zayna with dumbfounded expressions. What makes these ponies different from others you have seen is the fact that two of them have wings and two of them have horns. Only the last two show any signs of normality. Never in a million years would you ever believe that unicorns and pegasi were real, and yet here you are looking at two of each.

You slowly stand up, feeling the last dregs of your sanity slowly slipping away. One of the pegasi, a blue one with a rainbow-coloured mane, adopts a smug expression and turns to the others. "See?" She gloats. "I told you that there were weird creatures out in the forest. You owe me twenty bits, Applejack!"

"Dang it," the one you assume to be Applejack replies. "Ah guess we were wrong to doubt ya, Rainbow Dash."

"What on Equestria is that?" A white unicorn points at you. She then points at Zayna. "And what kind of pony is that?"

"Well, since you asked, I'm a human," you say suddenly, "and Zayna here is not a pony."

The six of them seem surprised at the fact you can talk. You walk over to Zayna's side and gently pat her in a reassuring manner. The other unicorn, a lavender one, clears her throat.

"Before we ask questions, I think some introductions are in order, don't you?" she says. "My name is Twilight Sparkle, and these are my friends." She introduces the rest of her friends to you – Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy – and you give your name in return.

"It's super-nice to meet you both!" Pinkie Pie says excitedly. "I can't wait to take you back to Ponyville and throw you both a 'Welcome to Equestria' party!"

"I appreciate the offer, truly I do," you reply with a sense of hesitation, "but I would much rather find some way of getting home since I have responsibilities there, as well as a job to do."

"I understand," Twilight says reassuringly. "I will certainly try my best to make sure you both get home where you belong."

"Thank you," Zayna chips in. "My master and I appreciate your assistance in this matter."

The six ponies exchange puzzled glances with each other, and then they all look at you with their eyebrows raised.

"Master?" Rainbow Dash asks sternly. "What the hay does she mean by that?"

"Oh..." You struggle to think of the right words to say. "Well you see, Zayna is my horse, and she—"

"I beg your pardon?" Rarity interrupts. "I might have misheard, but did you just say that Zayna is your 'whorse'?"

"Uhh, yeah." You nod. "She's a horse. I take care of her, and use her for giving riding lessons, which is the job I mentioned earlier."

"That..." Rarity narrows her eyes at you. "That is quite possibly the most sickening thing I have ever heard!"

"Wait, what?!" you say in alarm. "What the hell are you talking about? What's wrong with a little ride? The kids love it!"

"You market your services to children?!" Twilight screeches. "Oh dear Celestia, that is simply abhorrent!"

"I'll have you know that they pay well for it!" you shout back. "And besides, their parents wouldn't send them to me if I didn't know what I was doing."

"Their own parents make them partake in such activities?" Fluttershy squeaks. "That's not very good parenting."

"You're a sicko, you know that?" Rainbow Dash growls. "I bet you like using a whip or something."

"Oh no," Zayna replies. "Master only ever uses the whip if I am being very unruly. It hurts a little but it makes me realise that I'm being a bad girl, and I begin to comply with his wishes."

Pinkie Pie walks up to Zayna and produces – from out of nowhere – a large magnifying glass, before inspecting the saddle and bridle. "And what purpose do these things serve?" she asks. "Are they a part of your weird games?"

"The saddle and bridle are both important," you say. "The bridle helps anyone riding Zayna to keep her going in the right direction. And without the saddle, the riders would just keep falling off her."

"Eww, gross." Pinkie turns green. "I think I'm gonna be sick..."

You grind your teeth furiously, now starting to get both confused by and irritated at this whole situation. "You ponies are just being stupid," you growl. "I don't see why my job is that big a deal to you. I enjoy it, Zayna enjoys it, and my customers enjoy it. You sound like you're jealous."

The six mares splutter in shock.

"Jealous?" Rarity seethes. "How dare you say that! We are not jealous of somepony who seeks to pursue such a vile career, and who exploits the needs of others!"

"Exploiting?!" you bellow. "How am I exploiting people? I provide a genuine service that people actually appreciate. Maybe I could do with lowering my prices a bit, but I'll have you know that there is actually a waiting list for what I do since I'm that good at it!"

"A... A waiting list?" Twilight almost faints. "It's even worse than I imagined it to be!"

"It's not that bad," Zayna says. "Sure it can be a bit tiring at times, but master always has my best interests at heart. I get Sundays off, and he's even trying to find some additional horses to help take the strain off my back."

You nod at this. "Damn right I am. One mare can't exactly do all the work by herself forever, can she?"

"I... I..." Fluttershy struggles to speak. "I don't think I want to hear any more of this. It's just horrible."

"You wanna know what I think?" Rainbow Dash replies. "I think that you two freaks should just get lost."

The other four voice their approval at Rainbow Dash's suggestion. You stare at them defiantly and fold your arms.

"All I'm doing is trying to make an honest living and you think that's something I should be ashamed of," you say proudly. "Well, forget you. I will continue to provide my service, and I will continue to be proud of it. Hell, I might even expand to another town and start providing it there."

"Gah!" Twilight covers her ears. "Shut up, I don't want to hear it! Just... get away from here!"

"Gladly," you reply, taking hold of the bridle. "Come along, Zayna. Let's see if we can find some other way home."

You lead her away from the group of furious ponies, who are each giving you the stink-eye, and follow the path you were taking. After several minutes of trudging along the path, you come across a sign which says 'WELCOME TO PONYVILLE' in brightly-coloured letters. Stopping in front of it, you put your hand to your chin in thought.

"Ponyville... Ponyville..." you muse. "Why the hell does that sound so familiar to me?"

"There they are!" You recognize the very loud, and still very angry, voice of Rainbow Dash. As you turn in the direction it came from, your eyes widen upon seeing the pegasus and her friends at the head of a very large mob of ponies.

"What the hell is this?" you mutter. "Wait, don't tell me... You folks disagree with my choice of career as well, don't you?" A stone flying past your head is the only answer you need. With blistering speed you leap onto Zayna's back. "Ride like the wind, Zayna!" you yell. She doesn't need telling twice and takes off back the way you came, kicking up stones and dust.

As you leave, you fail to notice the embarrassed looks on the faces of the townsponies. One of them, a white unicorn foal, looks around at the adults surrounding her and groans.

"Wait here," she says. "I'll go and get my dictionary."

Author's Note

I hope you got the joke with the ending.

Zayna's name was taken from here. Apparantely it means 'Beauty' in Arabic.

And yes, that was a Toy Story reference (or it could be a Lone Ranger reference if you prefer).

Unexpected Revelations (Edited)

Zayna continues to run for several minutes before you finally realise that you're not being chased and bring her to a halt. Climbing down from her back you pat her neck and stroke her nose. "Good girl, Zayna," you say proudly. "I think we're safe now."

"Thank you for your praise, master," she replies. "But I am now certain that we are well and truly lost in this forest."

"Details, details." You wave your hand dismissively. "We just need to find the place where we first met those crazy mares. Once we've done that, it's just a case of retracing our steps back to the stables, and then everything will be normal again, thankfully."

Zayna turns her head to look at you, her soft brown eyes locking with yours. "Even me?" she asks. "Because 'normal' implies that I will be unable to speak once we get home."

You rub the back of your head and sigh. "I would imagine so," you reply. "Though I have to admit that it has been rather nice hearing how much you care about me straight from the horses mouth... pun not intended, of course."

"You are my master," Zayna says. "You have cared for me since I was a filly, always with my best interests at heart." She nuzzles your face. "I truly appreciate everything you have done."

"Thanks, Zayna," you say sheepishly. "It makes me happy to hear you say that." And that was something else you thought you'd never say in your life. "Come on, girl, let's get out of here."

"Taking shelter first, to you I would advise," a new voice on the wind calls out, taking both of you by surprise. "For travelling in the dark is most unwise."

You slowly turn around and start scanning the surrounding area, looking for the owner of the voice. Your eyes soon come to rest on yet another quadruped, this time wearing a hooded cloak.

"Who are you?" you say bitterly. "Are you another one of those ponies hell-bent on driving us away again? If you've got a problem, then you'd better make it known."

"The townsponies see you as a foe?" the mysterious figure sounds alarmed. "That was feeling I did once know. For a great of time that did last, but I thought for sure that was a thing of the past."

From the voice, you have determined that you are talking to a female. There's a slight accent there, but you can't place it. As you ponder the meaning of her words, she lowers the hood to reveal that she is a zebra. Makes a change from a pony, that's for sure.

"Zecora is my name, and potions are my game," she says pleasantly, to which you nod politely. "I was once in your situation, feared by a part of this equine nation. But that trouble time has come to an end, for they now see me as a friend."

"Well, that's all very well and good for you," you reply. "But I don't see how that helps us." You point at Zayna. "Look, we just need to find some way of getting home. Can you help us or not?"

"That depends upon you, my dear." Zecora replies. "Tell me, why do my friends treat you with fear?"

You sigh and tell Zecora everything that happened up until the point where you met her. She takes it rather well, even going so far as to laugh when you tell her about the volley of stones that were thrown at you prior to your departure from Ponyville.

"The tale you tell is quite grand," she says. "Though you both look... exotic to this land." You're about to ask her to elaborate on this, when a piercing howl cuts through the still forest air. Zayna shuffles a little and moves closer to you, while Zecora looks around worriedly for a moment before she speaks in a hushed tone. "To sleep out here, it would mean your doom. Please come to my home, for there is plenty of room."

You don't hesitate and nod feverishly, taking a hold of Zayna's bridle and following Zecora down a path. You're not sure why you are doing this, but she seems genuine enough for you to trust her. After all, anyone who has been through the same hell you have regarding those crazy ponies is a friend in your book. But at the same time you're hoping that if Zecora does have anything nefarious in mind, she leaves it until after you've eaten something.

***

You soon find yourself approaching a hut. It looks rather quaint, and the smoke coming from the chimney tells you that, one, it's warm inside, and two, Zecora is cooking something nice. It smells like a stew of some kind. There's probably no meat in it, but that doesn't mean you can't salivate at the thought of eating some.

"I welcome you both to my humble abode," Zecora says as she opens the door. "Please come inside and take off a load."

The doorway is a bit small for you, but that's nothing a bit of stooping can't fix. However, this does reveal a bit of a problem: as you stand in the middle of the room, your head only just scraping the ceiling, you hear a frustrated snort from behind you. You turn around to see that Zayna can't fit through the door — something she clearly isn't happy about, judging by her frustrated whinny.

"Hey, Zecora," you wonder. "Are there any other ways into this place? I really don't want Zayna staying outside, especially after you implied that there are things around here that can kill you."

Zecora pokes her head around a doorway leading into what smells like the kitchen. "Do what you need to," she replies. "But have swiftness, for the beasts of the forest are relentless."

You study the door for a moment, Zayna on the other side looking around nervously. "Please hurry, master," she says. "I really don't want to spend any more time out here."

You can't refuse that pleading face, so you nod in determination. "The door looks pretty weak," you surmise. "Maybe if I took it out you'd have room to move." Zayna shrugs – or does something that at least looks like a shrug – as you grab the door with both hands. "One... two... three!" you count before taking the door clean off its hinges, making the space slightly larger. Zayna trots in with a large grin on her face and nuzzles your cheek, at which you smile back and put the door in its rightful place.

"There's not a lot of room in here," Zayna muses as she looks around. "My stable is bigger than this." she catches sight of Zecora looking at her. "But it is still a very lovely home you have, Zecora. My master and I appreciate your extremely generous hospitality."

"My home is modest, but it suits me just fine," Zecora says as she waves a forehoof dismissively. "Now the time has come for us all to dine." She goes over to a cauldron and removes the lid, revealing the contents to be a hearty vegetable stew. "Dig in, eat up, and enjoy this fine stew." She continues. "And maybe you can tell me of your relationship, too?"

You and Zayna exchange a glance. "I guess I could do that," you reply. "But, first of all, I have to ask you something. Why do you talk in rhyme? No offence, but it does seem rather unusual."

"No offence taken — not even a bit." Zecora laughs. "As for my method of speech, I was born with it."

"Oh, right," you say as you prepare a bowlful of stew for yourself and another for Zayna, which she devours ravenously. You take a spoonful and are taken aback by the fresh taste of it. "Anyway, Zecora, thank you for your hospitality. We really appreciate it."

Zecora simply dips her head in response. "Sadly, to the Everfree my pony friends don't often roam," she replies. "So it’s nice to have some new company in my home." She clops her forehooves together for a moment. "Now, tell me of your home — all that you know. Your relationship with Zayna, it intrigues me so."

You smile and pat the horse in question as she continues to slurp noisily at her soup. "To cut a long story short, I rescued her from a bad place — and ever since then she's been an integral part of my life." You let out a small chuckle. "Because she was so friendly, I started using her to give riding lessons. Everyone loved her, and said she was the nicest horse they'd ever met."

Zecora's ears perk up at this. "I have to admit, that is indeed a strange job," she says with a small smile. "But, lucky for you, I am not part of the mob."

"Wait... so you don't care about the fact she's a horse? A pet I use to give riding lessons? A living creature I control using these things?" You point at the saddle and bridle, at which Zecora shakes her head. "Well then, thank goodness for that. When those ponies found out, they flipped their lids."

"The ponies tend to fear things unfamiliar or new," Zecora says mournfully. "For me, that was something I personally knew. There was a time when they would lock themselves away in fear, upon spotting my form draw near." She seems upset as she says this, but her gloomy facade soon gives way to a smile. "It took some time, and a lot of jokes, before they accepted me as a friend. Be patient, and soon these troubled times will end."

"I'll believe that when I see it," you reply. "In the meantime, however, I have to say... this is some really nice soup."

"My master is correct," Zayna chips in as she looks up from her bowl with the remains of her dinner all over her face. "It certainly was a lovely meal, and makes a welcome change from grass."

Zecora laughs. "Thank you, you're far too sweet." she shrugs. "When you live alone, you tend to learn how make things to eat."

Zayna nods. "My master would know all about that." she looks at you. "Isn't that right, master? I can't remember the last time you brought a woman who wasn't a client out to see me."

Your face turns bright red at this statement. "I'm... I'm a busy man, Zayna," you stammer. "I don't have time to go on dates every single night, I've got a business to look after."

Zayna giggles. "Whatever you say, master," she replies, before letting out a loud yawn. "Oh, my, excuse me. Zecora, if you don't mind, I would very much like to get some rest."

"I don't mind in the slightest at all," Zecora says. "In fact, I think we all can hear slumber’s call."

"Sounds good to me," you add. "We'll sleep through here." Zecora goes to say something, but you stop her. "Don't worry about us, Zecora — Horses can sleep standing up, and I'll be fine on the floor. You go to bed, and we'll see you in the morning."

"To my chambers I retire, to dress in my attire," she says cryptically. "To bed I will go, and prepare for a show."

You have no idea what she's talking about, but you smile and nod nonetheless as she heads into her bedroom. You lie down on the floor next to Zayna and stare at the ceiling. With nothing to occupy your mind, you soon fall asleep.

***

"They have to be here somewhere, Fluttershy," Rainbow Dash grumbles. "Are you sure that your animal friends haven't seen them? You have to admit that it's kinda hard to lose sight of a human and his pet ‘horse’."

Fluttershy shakes her head. "Sorry, Rainbow, but there's no sign of them," she replies. "Maybe they took another path to — wait, what's that over there?" She flutters over to some tracks in the dirt and looks at them intently. "These are hoofprints, but, as far as I know, there's nopony else here."

Rainbow Dash follows the tracks with her eyes, coming to rest on smoke in the distance. "They probably belong to Zecora," she says. "She spends enough time in this forest, but I don't think she'd know about those two." she lets out an exasperated sigh. "After what we did, they're probably avoiding anything with four legs. But Twilight says we've gotta find them, especially after Sweetie Belle explained how we got the wrong word, so that's what we're gonna do. And I hope we find them soon because this place is creepy even during the day, never mind at night!"

"You're right," Fluttershy sighs. "Come on, let's look somewhere else. I just hope we find them, and that they accept our apologies. But even they'll have to admit that 'horse' and 'whorse' sound so alike, it was only natural we'd get confused."

Rainbow Dash nods and the two pegasi fly away just as the moon’s first light enters the forest, touching the tracks and revealing the footprints within.

***

"It is time to wake up, my brand-new friend," the voice rouses you from the wonderful embrace of sleep. "For as I have said, there is a show to attend."

You blearily open your eyes and look around. Zayna is still asleep, occasionally whinnying softly, while Zecora is calling to you from her bedroom. You stand up and stretch before looking at your watch, which tells you that it's just after five in the morning. Had you been home you'd still be asleep, so you curse under your breath at the early wakeup and walk over to Zecora's bedroom. She ducks back in as you approach and enter.

"Okay, Zecora," you say wearily. "What is it? Are you needing help with something?"

The door closes behind you and you freeze. "Thank you for coming. It really was bold." Zecora's voice is almost sultry. "Now turn around slowly. There is a sight to behold."

You do as you are asked, your pulse going a mile a minute and your nerves on high alert. When you do turn around, your jaw nearly drops to the floor and your heart leaps into your throat as you take in the sight which has greeted you.

Zecora. Wearing a saddle and a bridle. And carrying a whip.

"What the hell..." you can't believe what you are seeing. Zecora doesn't say anything as she starts advancing on you, the faintest trace of lust clearly visible on her face. Putting two and two together, you come to the fateful conclusion that, like those ponies, she is confused about what your job actually involves, although, as you desperately try to come up with an escape plan, you can't help but be grateful to the zebra.

Because, while there may not have been a movie, at least you can take comfort in the fact that she gave you dinner first.

Author's Note

Hmm, what's next for our intrepid duo?

Special thanks to Alticron for helping me with Zecora's dialogue.

Things Are Looking Up

You stand rooted to the spot as Zecora approaches, licking her lips and eyeing you as if you were a piece of meat... or whatever the pony version of that phrase would be. She spits the whip out of her mouth and speaks.

"Come with me now, and do not resist," she coos. "For I know you will enjoy this forbidden tryst."

"As tempting as that is..." you lie. "I think I'll pass. Thanks for your hospitality, Zecora, but I really must be going now."

Zecora's eyes narrow. "There is no escape, my human friend," she snorts. "Work your magic on me now, lest it be your end."

"Is that a threat, Zecora?" you ask. "Because I find it hard to get intimate with someone if they're being aggressive."

"Enough of these words, you heartless swine!" she yells. "Whether you want it or not, you will be mine!"

You swallow nervously. Angry zebras are scary things. Frozen to the spot, Zecora manages to close the distance with you — picking up the whip again for good measure. As she goes to hit you with it, you close your eyes and await the inevitable sting of pain.

You are surprised, then, to hear a loud crash instead of enduring the awful feeling of whip versus face. Angry snorting fills the air, but you're too scared to open your eyes to see what's going on.

"Who dares intrude on my time of fun?" Zecora demands. "I will see to it that you have to run."

"Leave my master alone, you crazy mare," Zayna snarls — which is another thing you never thought you would hear a horse do. "Or else you and I are going to have a problem."

You force yourself to crack open one eye. Zayna and Zecora are both staring at each other, neither of them showing any signs of backing down. You cautiously make your way over to Zayna, but Zecora blocks your way with the whip.

"Too long I have waited, you insolent mare," she says with fire in her eyes. "I'll deal with you first, try to run if you dare."

Zayna snorts. "Bring it on, bitch," she replies.

And bring it Zecora does. She runs towards Zayna, releasing the sort of scream you'd expect to hear in a horror movie, and attempts to jump on her neck.

Zayna, however, anticipates this and turns around. With one swift movement she brings her hind legs up, sending them crashing into Zecora's face and sending the mare across the room into a chest of drawers. The furniture crumbles to dust as Zecora slumps to the floor, while Zayna turns around and sniggers.

"That showed her," she says smugly. "Come on, master, I think we've outstayed our welcome." She motions to her back. "Get on."

You climb on without hesitation and leave the hut, the problematic front door becoming nothing but a pile of firewood. Zayna gallops through the forest at a breakneck pace, neither of you looking back from whence you came. The sun beginning its ascent into the sky tells you that a couple of hours have passed since your escape, and so you signal for Zayna to stop.

You get off her back and walk around to her front, fixing your gaze on her. She shies away nervously before you crack the biggest grin you can muster and throw your arms around her neck.

"That was amazing, what you did back there," you say with a laugh. "I honestly thought that Zecora was going to have her wicked way with me. Thank you, Zayna."

Zayna nuzzles your cheek. "You have always looked out for me, master," she replies. "So, of course, the least I could do would be to return the favour. It's not much to pay you back for what you've done for me, but at least it's a start."

"I'll always be there for you, girl," you say as you run your fingers through her mane. "And don't you ever forget it." She sighs contentedly as you survey the area. "So... what do you suppose we do now, given the fact that everyone we've met so far has either wanted to beat us up or jump my bones?"

Zayna shakes her head. "I'm afraid I don't have any ideas, Master, but what I can suggest is— duck!"

You look at her in confusion for a second, just as something collides with you and sends you into the dirt. Spitting out a mouthful of leaves you roll over, ready to defend yourself and Zayna — only to find yourself looking at a very familiar face.

"Um... hi," Rainbow Dash says sheepishly. The rest of her friends round a corner of the path, gasping in shock at the sight of the pegasus sitting on you. Dash briefly glances at them before turning to you – noticing the scowl you now possess – and gets off your chest, allowing you to stand. "Look, I know we're the last ponies you want to see right now, but please... just hear us out and then decide what you wanna do."

You look at Zayna, who nods slightly. "You've got five minutes," you growl. "But this had better be good."

"We want to apologise," Twilight says. "We realise now that we completely misunderstood you. Remember when you left Ponyville? You yelled 'ride like the wind, Zayna!' and then jumped onto her back."

"I remember," you reply dryly. "But what does that have to do with anything?"

"You see, darling," Rarity interjects. "When you told us that Zayna was a 'whorse' and that you were a 'riding teacher', we thought you meant it in a rude manner. In Equestria, 'whorse' is spelt 'W-H-O-R-S-E', and is a word used to describe prostitutes and mares who have a tendency to be very promiscuous."

"Whereas I actually meant 'horse', spelt 'H-O-R-S-E', which is the name of the species Zayna is," you grumble. "And when I said 'riding lessons', I meant I teach people how to sit on and control a horse properly. Zayna is such an animal." You pause for a moment before you burst out laughing. "So you're telling me that it was a simple misunderstanding – over a difference in spelling might I add – which landed me in this mess?"

The six ponies blush sheepishly and lower their heads in embarrassment. "Yes," Fluttershy whispers. "Oh, we're so sorry we treated you the way we did. Can you ever forgive us?"

You stop laughing and look at them. All six are looking at you with watery eyes, their ears pinned down to the sides of their heads. Truth be told, you find the sight rather adorable. You clutch your chest and stick your fist into your mouth to stop the groan which is threatening to escape.

"I forgive you," Zayna says. "It is easy to judge others based on what you hear about them, but at least you have taken the time to seek us out and explain yourselves. Now, someone... somepony, rather... needs to find Zecora and tell her all this."

"Provided she's conscious by now," you laugh. The six ponies cock their heads at you and you find yourself explaining what happened at Zecora's hut. By the time you're done their expressions border somewhere between amused and shocked.

"I'm sure she'll be fine," Rainbow Dash says with a dismissive wave of a forehoof. "Anyway, we need to get you two back to Ponyville and work out how you got here."

"And then we need to send you back," Twilight adds. "Don't worry, we'll explain everything to the townsponies when we return. You no longer have to fear us," she says your name, "and Zayna. We will do everything we can to make you feel at home here."

"That's great," you say. "And I forgive you as well, as late as that is. I don't know about you, but I could really use a shower." You glance at Zayna and point a thumb in her direction. "And I think this one can as well, since she's been running a lot."

Zayna giggles. "All in a days work," she says with a grin.

Twilight motions for you to follow her and the others and you oblige, Pinkie Pie bounding around you talking excitedly about the 'Welcome To Ponyville And Sorry For Being So Mean' party she'll be throwing for you on your arrival. As you walk along the forest path with your faithful horse by your side, you can't help but feel that maybe – just maybe – things are finally looking up.

Author's Note

Sorry this took so long.

I know this chapter is short, but I promise that it will lead somewhere, as 'you' will soon find out how you came to Equestria, but you will also have to make what could very well be a tough decision.

And I apologise if you wanted to see a big fight between Zayna and Zecora. I can't write action scenes to save myself, but if anyone else wants to have a go then be my guest.

Welcome (Back) To Ponyville

The walk back into town was longer than you thought it would be, and you found yourself falling asleep. Zayna asked Twilight to put you on her back, and now you are entering Ponyville to a multitude of stares and whispers.

"I can't believe we got it wrong," one pony mutters.

"You'd think that carrying him would hurt," another adds. "But she looks like she's got it covered."

As well as these, you can also pick up some sharp whistles coming from a few of the stallions — and even some of the mares.

"She's so exotic..."

"I'd let her carry me any day of the week..."

"I wonder if they'd be up for a bit of fun?"

"That stuff she's wearing... do you think Rarity would make me something similar if I asked?"

These and various other remarks filter through your ears, but your mind is too focused on wanting you to sleep to alert you to the fact that the locals are hitting on Zayna. She doesn't seem to mind, and winks flirtatiously at anypony who meets her eyes.

You soon arrive at a tree. It looks ordinary enough, but closer inspection reveals it to have a door and windows. A sign outside proclaims it to be the 'Golden Oaks Library'. Your entourage stops, and Twilight turns to address the gathered townsponies.

"I'm sure you are all keen to offer your apologies and ask a few questions," she says. "But our guests have had a very hard day and must get their rest. I will let you know if and when they are interested in talking to everypony. But until that happens, I kindly ask that you all leave them in peace."

The crowd murmurs in agreement and slowly disperses, allowing you and Zayna to follow Twilight and her friends into the library. You slide off her back and flop onto a – rather soft – couch, while she looks around at the many shelves lining the walls. Each one is filled to the brim with books, to the point of bursting, but you wouldn't expect anything less of a library.

Twilight and the others approach you where you lie, so you roll onto your back and stare at the ceiling. "Right then, ladies," you say. "What's going to happen to us now?"

"Well, our first priority is to find out how you both got here in the first place," Twilight replies. "Can you recall what you were doing prior to when we met you in the forest?"

You spend the next few minutes telling them what happened on the day in question. "— and then the next thing I know, there was a loud bang and Zayna just flipped out. She just turned around and took off running... took me a few minutes to calm her down." You glance at Zayna, who is blushing. "That's when I realised we were lost — and that she could talk. A few minutes later, you lot turned up and... well, you know the rest."

With the exception of Twilight, who appears to be lost in thought, the mares all nod slightly. A moment of uncomfortable silence falls on the room before the zoned-out unicorn suddenly snaps back into reality with a loud gasp, which startles everyone present.

"I think I know what caused you both to arrive here," she says with some hesitation. "A few days ago we put an end to a villain known as Discord, who was using his magic to spread chaos throughout Equestria. I am going to guess that you and Zayna being summoned here is the result of his magic, or at least what was left of it after we turned him to stone."

You decide not to question the 'stone' remark. "Uh, okay," you reply. "So what in the hell do we do now? Just hang around until you figure out a way to send us back?" Twilight nods solemnly and you sigh. "All right then, but answer me this: why is Zayna able to talk now? Where we come from, horses don't usually do that. Is this also the result of Discord's magic?"

Twilight shakes her head. "You said you've looked after her since she was a filly, right? Well she has clearly managed to pick up a lot of words from you, but only now has she found a way to actually put them to use. Equestria is a very magical place," she says your name, "so it's only natural that she would be affected by it."

Zayna looks at you. "Do you have a problem with me speaking, Master?" she asks. "I could go back to whinnying if you think that my sudden ability to talk makes you uncomfortable."

"I don't find it uncomfortable," you reply. "Not in the slightest. I just a bit... strange, that's all." You give her a smile. "Seriously though, Zayna, feel free talk to your hearts content... because once we get home you won't be able to."

"It's settled then," Twilight says. "The two of you will remain in Ponyville as our guests, until I am able to find a way for you both to return to where you rightfully belong. In the meantime, you are both more than welcome to stay here."

"Sounds great," you mumble as you stretch out on the sofa. "I don't know about you, but I'm tired. Goodnight, ladies."

*** ZAYNA'S POV ***

You watch with a small smile as your master drifts off to sleep. This was the first time you'd seen him like this, but it didn't stop it from being any less sweet. A few moments pass before you look over, and then down at, the Elements of Harmony.

"Hmm," Twilight says, tapping her chin with a forehoof. "I don't think my spare bed is big enough for you, Zayna. I'll have to find something else, but it could take a while."

"That won't be necessary," you reply. "I sleep standing up, so a bed is the last thing I'd need right now." You see the shocked looks on the faces of the girls. "Before you say anything, horses don't usually sleep in beds like you do. We are more than happy to sleep in a stable on a pile of hay."

"Silly Zayna," Pinkie chirps. "Hay is for eating, not for sleeping on! Ooh, that reminds me! We still have to talk about what treats I need to make for your party!"

"You'll have to talk to my master about that," you giggle. "Horses don't eat treats like cakes and biscuits, though I myself am partial to a sugarcube every now and again. My diet consists of grass, vegetables and maize, while my master will eat pretty much anything he can get his hands on, within reason of course."

"Fascinating..." Twilight breathes, her eyes shining with glee. "I will have to make some notes about this tomorrow... with your permission, of course."

"Be my guest," you nod. "It's not like I'll be doing anything else tomorrow." You gesture at the sleeping form of your master. "I guess I'll do whatever he wants to do. This is a whole new experience, for both of us, and I for one am keen to partake in it while I have the opportunity to do so."

"Wait a minute," Rainbow Dash interjects. "You're not mad about the fact you, and him, are going to be stuck here for Celestia knows how long?" You shake your head and Dash chuckles. "You're like me, Zayna, because you don't let a bad situation get you down. That makes you pretty awesome in my book."

"Celestia!" Twilight suddenly shouts, causing you to flinch. "I can't believe that I forgot about the Princesses... though it was probably understandable, due to all of the excitement, but I digress. If anypony can help you find a way home, it'll be them!"

She rushes over to her desk and grabs a quill and a piece of paper, scribbling furiously. A few moments later she rolls up the scroll and attaches a wax seal, before finally touching it to her horn and... setting fire to it?

"That's how Twilight sends letters to the Princesses," Rarity says, noticing the confused expression on your face. "Normally she gets Spike to do it, but he's asleep right now." Your confusion only grows at the mention of this 'Spike'. "Spike is Twilight's friend and assistant. He helps her around the library, and the sweetest little dragon anypony could ever ask for."

"A dragon?" you ask, to which the girls simply nod. "Interesting... but I guess I'll meet him later. In the meantime, I'm tired. Goodnight, girls, I shall see you in the morning."

You turn around and trot over to the couch your master is currently staining with drool. You watch him for a few more moments before your eyelids start to droop and sleep claims you.

***

"Oh my," Fluttershy says as she watches Zayna drop off without crashing to the floor in a heap. "She really can sleep standing up. But you have to admire her loyalty towards her 'master', though — we can all see that the two of them share a very close bond."

"They do indeed, Fluttershy," Rarity replies. "She obviously cares a lot about him if she can't even bear to be away from him even while sleeping. I can't imagine how she must have felt all those times she slept on her own."

"Our guests seem to be bringing up more questions than answers, though," Twilight grumbles. "We need to find a way to send them back to where they belong, so that they can live their lives as they intended to before Discord's magic interfered with everything. But in the meantime we need to make their stay here as pleasant as we possibly can. Let us show them the magic of friendship, so that they can leave here with at least some good memories."

The others nod their agreement and, after casting a final glance at the human and horse, get into a huddle and begin planning.

*** YOUR POV ***

You awaken to the feeling of something warm on your face. Cracking open your eyes you come face to face with Zayna, or at least her muzzle. She smiles at you as she takes a step to the side, revealing a plate on the table stacked high with pancakes.

"The girls went through a list of what classifies as a meal here in Equestria," she says as you sit up "Most of it contains grass or flowers and therefore wouldn't be adequate for human consumption but they eventually mentioned pancakes, which are made using ingredients we'd find back home. So I asked Pinkie if she would make some for you, a task she was rather eager to undertake. I hope you like them."

You smile back and scratch her behind the ears as you pick up a fork. "Thanks, Zayna," you reply. "Always looking out for me, huh? I thought it was meant to be the other way around?"

Zayna giggles. "As I've said before, you have done so much for me," she leans forward and briefly nuzzles you. "Now Twilight says that, once you've eaten, you may use her shower. Rarity has also made a change of clothes for you."

You pause your demolition of the pancakes and raise your eyebrow at her. "How did she get my measurements?" you wonder. Zayna gives you a look that says 'Really?' and you shrug. "Magic. Right." You resume eating, the pancakes soon gone completely. Stifling a belch, you get up from the couch and take the plate and fork into the kitchen and put them in the sink. Returning to the kitchen another thought comes to mind. "So where are the girls, anyway?"

"They are out at the moment," Zayna replies. "But they said that they would like to show us around Ponyville, so we are to meet them at the local bakery once you're showered and dressed." You go to ask another question but Zayna senses it. "It has a giant cupcake for a roof, it's not that hard to miss."

You nod and take yourself upstairs, already beginning to wonder just what this day will bring.

Author's Note

It's finally done! My plan for this is for 'you' and Zayna to actually spend some time in Ponyville before you both have to leave, while exploring the relationship between man and pet. Don't worry, I will still throw in some comedy prior to this 'big decision' that I mentioned in the preview (which a few of you have already worked out).

You will also notice that Discord is now the reason for your arrival, rather than Nightmare Moon. Previous chapters where the ponies are talking trash about Zecora have been fixed, since she was a friend of the Mane Six prior to Discord's defeat.

Also, I seem to use pancakes a lot in my stories. I must have some kind of problem.

Explanations

You stand before a group of ponies, sweat forming on your brow. Zayna stands by your side, snickering to herself while the crowd looks on in confusion. You are trying to explain the different terminology behind your profession, to clear up any differences that may remain, but it's proving difficult. Wiping your brow, you continue speaking regardless.

"Saddling," you say. "Saddling is the process of putting a saddle blanket and saddle in the proper places and making sure the straps are tight enough. I don't see how that could possibly be dirty."

"Saddles are often worn by whorses," one of the ponies in the crowd replies. "They are often seen as a sign of their profession. Any mare, or stallion in some cases, who wears a saddle in public is basically saying that they're up for anything with anypony."

You blink in surprise a couple of times. "Okay, I see it now," you shake your head. "Thank you for the delightful mental images."

Zayna giggles. "I don't know, master," she says. "Maybe I should keep wearing the saddle. After all, some of these stallions are quite nice to look at — especially that big red one." She licks her lips involuntarily, before she notices your wide-eyed stare. "Sorry, master... er, shall we move on? I believe you were about to explain the meaning of 'breaking in'."

A few of the stallions in the crowd titter at this. You roll your eyes and sigh, rubbing your hands together as you pace around your makeshift stage. "Breaking in is the process of getting a new horse used to carrying a saddle and a rider," you say. "That's all there is to it — it only sounds dirty... like 'mounting'."

The stallions fall over howling with laughter, much to the chagrin of the mares with them. "It would seem that this is too much for you," Zayna grumbles. "So perhaps you should leave. After all, 'mounting' is just getting into the saddle — so it's not as lewd as you seem to think it is." She pauses. "And I'll have you know that I really like it when my master mounts me."

Instead of a few stallions, the entire crowd suddenly erupts into laughter at this statement, Zayna taking a while to realise what she said and gasping in shock — while you opt for burying your reddening face into your palms. "To hell with this," you mutter. "Thank you for your time, but I think we're done here." The crowd, some of whom are still laughing, head off while you sigh. "I need a drink — preferably something strong."

"You're not the only one who needs something strong," Zayna mumbles, still gazing intently at the large red stallion she saw earlier. He stares back for a moment, before he notices you looking at him as well, then his ears flatten against his head and he blushes furiously before rushing off somewhere else. Zayna snorts and turns to you. "Aww, master, you scared him away."

"He'll be back," you reply. "Now come on, I really need that drink." You walk through the town, which currently looks more like a fairground than a town, and eventually find the refreshment tent.

The whole town has thrown together this shindig as a way of apologising to you properly, as well as introducing you to the many ponies who call the place home. So far, it's been nothing but more misunderstandings and embarrassment — but you're confident that will all change once you get some alcohol down you.

"Hey there," the mare behind the counter says. "I'm Berry Punch, purveyor of the finest beer, cider, wine and spirits in all of Equestria. What can I get for you today, handsome?"

"Give me the strongest whiskey you have," you grumble, sitting down at the bar. "And get Zayna here a big bucket of water as well, please." Berry nods and starts preparing your drinks as Zayna comes up beside you and nuzzles your cheek.

"This is a time for joyous fun," she says. "Yet you look as though you're not having any. In fact, I haven't seen you this upset since you got correspondence from the one you referred to as 'the tax man.'" You look at her in confusion, and she giggles. "I heard you shouting and swearing all the way from my stable."

You nod as Berry comes back with your drinks – a triple whiskey and a huge bucket of water – and sets them in front of you. You stick your hand in your pocket, but Berry shakes her head and waves a forehoof dismissively — which is just as well, considering the fact that you don't even have any Equestrian currency.

After putting the bucket on the ground in front of Zayna – who whinnies happily at the sight – you throw back your whiskey in one gulp. It's not as strong as what you're used to, but it hits the spot nonetheless, and Berry takes it as her cue to refill the glass.

"So, you and Zayna," she asks. "Everypony has been asking you about the working relationship you've got, but has anypony bothered to ask about the social side of it?"

"The 'social side?'" you reply, sipping at your whiskey. "You mean, what we do when we're not working?"

"Yeah," Berry replies. "There's that, but what I actually meant was... where did she come from? You said you've had her since she was a filly, so I'd like to know more about that."

Zayna looks up from her bucket, water dripping down her muzzle and onto the floor. "Are you sure?" she queries. "My life as a filly contains many painful memories, and I wouldn't like for you to feel awkward for asking about them."

"I won't feel awkward," Berry replied. "But if you don't want to talk about it, then I understand completely."

"It's fine," Zayna reassures the mare. "But I guess my Master would be the better one to tell you."

Berry turns her gaze on you, and you find yourself fidgeting uncomfortably. "Before I got her, Zayna lived with some other horses on a big farm. Her previous owners took very good care of all their animals, but then something happened which resulted in Zayna going to a rescue centre."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Berry looks solemn. "Did they, um... did they die?"

You wave a hand dismissively. "Far from it," you reply with a chuckle. "The economy took a nosedive one year, and the couple found themselves unable to pay their bills. So they decided, for the welfare of the horses, to surrender them to a local charity."

Zayna looks downcast. "I can still remember the crying they did when the charity came to take us away," she says. "At the time, I wasn't sure why we were being sent away — all I knew was that I was being taken from a safe and loving home to somewhere I wasn't familiar with. It took me many months to get used to all the new sights and smells at the rescue centre." She sighs. "All the other horses were adopted by new owners, but nobody seemed interested in a little filly... not even as a pet."

She sniffles, prompting you to give her a hug and pet her mane. "After three months without anyone adopting her, the charity decided that she would be sold at auction, which she was," you explain, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "The only problem is, she was sold to a man who wanted to kill her and sell the meat — and the responsibility of killing her fell to me."

"You used to work in an abattoir?" Berry looks horrified. "And before you ask how I know what an abattoir is, I've had gryphons as customers — and they eat meat."

You nod. "I did, yes," you reply. "I took no pleasure in ending the lives of those animals, many of whom were old and weak, but it paid well. If it's any consolation, I actually apologised to each and every animal before I killed them." Zayna looks up at you, and you give her a kiss on the nose. "But I just couldn't bring myself to kill Zayna. I could see how young she was, and I knew that she had a lot of potential — so I point blank refused to kill her, and offered to buy her from my boss. He refused at first, but relented when I offered him double what he had paid." A small smile graces your lips. "As soon as Zayna was legally mine, I quit my job and took her home. I lived on an old farm, so it wasn't hard to find her a place to sleep — and she has been in my care ever since, getting all the love and affection she needs. Hell, even I learned a few things along the way — since I'd never owned a horse before."

Berry wipes away a stray tear. "That was a touching story," she says. "You're a good man, you know that? Zayna is very lucky to have somepony like you looking out for her."

Zayna nuzzles you. "Damn right I am," she replies. "Once I was old enough, Master got the idea of riding lessons. He spent many days breaking me in—" She looks at Berry, as if expecting her to laugh, but she doesn't do a thing. "—and several more days learning how to become an instructor, so that he could teach others."

"But I eventually got my qualifications, and set up the riding school," you continue. "Most of my students were children — and I became quite popular with parents, due to my positive attitude and caring nature." You point at Zayna. "And she became quite popular with the kids, who simply adored petting her."

Zayna chuckles. "Petting is just another kind of love," she says. "And I do love to be loved. Some of the children could be a bit rough – tugging at my mane and tail – but they never hurt me."

You finish the rest of your whiskey and pass the glass to Berry, who puts it in a basin for washing. "And then, one day, we went out for a ride and then — BAM!" You slam a fist on the table. "We ended up here... and I'm pretty sure you know the rest."

Berry nods. "I do," she says sheepishly. "And I'm sorry I got caught up in the moment." You nod, forgiving her, and there is a moment of silence before Berry clears her throat. "Anyway, thanks for telling me your story. You two have both had quite the adventure."

"Coming here is an adventure," you scoff. "Everything else was just life being... well, life."

"That's true," Berry replies. "So, when did the two of you become closer? I think it's really sweet to see a couple act as lovingly as you two do." She smiles warmly — while Zayna does a spit take.

"C-couple?!" she stutters. "I'll have you know that the relationship my master I share is purely that of owner and pet! There is nothing more to it, so I would thank you to keep such vile assumptions to yourself!" She stomps a forehoof into the ground for emphasis.

You nod fervently. "What she said," you add. "Where we come from, it's illegal for humans to interact with animals in... that sort of way... though I did hear that some places do all—" You cut yourself off and look around. "This is getting awkward. Can we change the subject, please?"

"Aww," Berry replies. "But I've just found out that you're available." She giggles, but all she gets from you is a glare. She stops laughing and chuckles nervously. "Sorry about that." She looks at Zayna. "So, uh, I couldn't help but notice that you were checking out Big Macintosh." She winks. "I take it you like what you saw?"

"Big Macintosh, huh?" you murmur. "So that's the name of the big red stallion she was gazing at earlier." Zayna has a smile on her face — and is blushing with such intensity, you'd think she was a thousand watt bulb. "I'm guessing you did like him?"

Zayna fans herself. "I do," she giggles. "Though I have to admit that I'm not sure why — I've not had any experience with stallions." She looks at you. "I believe you had something to do with that?"

"I never got round to learning about breeding," you reply. "All I know is that it involves finding a suitable stallion – a 'stud' – and then seeing if you are interested in 'doing the deed,' as it we— am I seriously having a conversation about sex with my horse?"

Berry suppresses a snort of laughter. "Don't worry," she says. "Mac is the nicest stallion there is. He's quiet, dependable, strong as an ox — and word is he is definitely 'big' where it counts."

Zayna shudders in delight. "Stop it," she whines. "You're getting me all flustered." She looks at you. "Master, can you do some—"

Without even thinking, you pick up the bucket of water and dump the contents all over Zayna's head. She whinnies in shock, shaking frantically to clear the water off her.

You put the bucket down and cautiously approach her. She is soaked from head to tail – making you wonder how much water was actually in the bucket to begin with – and her mane is covering her eyes like curtains over a window.

"Is that better?" you ask, to which Zayna snorts. "I'll take that as a 'yes.'" You gently pat her on the back. "I think we'd better keep you away from Big Macintosh for a while, wouldn't you agree?" Zayna nods meekly, and you look at Berry. "Can I get another bucket of water for her please... as well as a towel?"

Berry nods dutifully, picks up the empty bucket and heads into the back of the tent. It's not long before a towel comes sailing over the bar and lands on the floor in front of you. Wordlessly, you pick it up and begin drying her off — a process made harder when you find yourself laughing at how poofy her mane becomes when you dry it.

A few minutes later, you are left with a dry horse – albeit a grumpy one – and a towel holding more water than you thought possible. You wring it out and put it back on the bar as Berry puts the refilled bucket down on the ground.

"I was talking to some of the townsponies earlier," Berry says. "And I can't help but notice that you've been fed some manure about saddles." You raise an eyebrow at her. "Equestrians wear saddles in winter to help keep us warm — but they are made of ordinary fabrics, like cotton." She points at Zayna's saddle. "Whorses wear leather ones just like that, as it is a risqué material which goes rather well with their risqué profession."

You sigh. "That explains the aggro I got earlier then," you reply. "Thanks for the lesson, Berry." She smiles at you and leaves to serve some ponies who have approached the bar, each of whom gives you and Zayna a quick nod of greeting. You wave back and take hold of the reins. "Come on, girl, let's go for a walk around town and see what else is going on."

Zayna slurps down some more water. "Good idea, Master," she says. "After all, it would be rude of us to spend all day at the bar."

You lead her outside into the sunshine, holding your free hand in front of your face to protect your eyes, and then pick a random direction to walk in. You soon find yourself in the town square, where a funfair has been set up. Looking around, you can see all sorts of games — the coconut shy, a helter-skelter, that thing with the clown faces and water guns, and even dodgems.

So lost are you in childish wonder, that you fail to notice the pony standing directly in front of you — resulting in a faceful of flank. A loud gasp of shock, as well as laughter, reaches your ears.

"I am so sorry!" you say. "I wasn't looking where I was going, and I walked right into you."

The pony you walked into turns around to face you. "It's all right," she says. "I'm not hurt, so there is— well, well. When I was told we had some 'exotic visitors' in town, you were the last two things I expected to see."

"'Things?'" you grumble. "Who the hell do you think you are, referring to us as 'things?' I oughta—"

"What my sister is trying to say," another mare says, "is that we didn't expect to meet the two of you until later today. Twilight wanted us to come down and meet the 'man and his horse' who caused quite a bit of commotion in town earlier."

You look up to find yourself face to face with two ponies, one of whom is the same height as Zayna. The other is about a foot shorter, but they certainly stand out from the other ponies you have met in your time here so far.

One of the mares holds out a hoof. "Where are my manners?" she says. "I am Celestia, this is my sister Luna..."

Luna nods once before they speak in unison.

"… and we are the rulers of Equestria."

Well, damn.

Looks like things just got a whole lot more interesting.

Author's Note

With the introduction of Celestia and Luna, this story is now entering its final chapters.

I apologise profusely for taking so damn long with this, and I thank you for your patience.

As always, let me know if you have any issues with the chapter.

Home At Last

As you stand sheepishly in front of the Princesses, a small gasp from behind catches your attention. Turning around, you see Twilight and her friends cantering over — the former with a very big smile plastered on her face.

"Princesses!" Twilight says cheerfully. "I see you got my letter, and I'm happy that you could make it on such short notice."

Luna giggles. "We heard about a famous 'riding instructor' who was in Ponyville, and had captured the hearts and minds of the residents — so of course the two of us were going to come down here and meet him for ourselves." She looks at you and blushes. "It has been so long since my last 'lesson,' so please forgive me if I am a little bit rusty." She arches her back and ruffles her wings, giving you a seductive smile. "Then again... you are a professional, and you have no doubt had clients like me before."

You facepalm. "Oh, God," you grumble. "Not this again." You sigh. "Look, Princess, I don't know what you've been told, but I am not that kind of 'riding instructor.' I teach people how to mount, ride and control a horse, okay?"

Celestia cocks her head at you. "Are we talking about the same thing here?" she asks, her tail flicking slightly. "Because what you are describing sounds exactly like what we have in mind."

Luna winks at you. "Do not feel embarrassed," she says. "I assure you that the two of us would make ideal students — though, for obvious reasons, you would be seeing us separately. I do hope that won't be too much of an issue."

You put a hand over your mouth, unleashing a volley of rather creative curse words, while Zayna speaks up. "I can assure you," she says. "My master and I do not offer those kinds of services. He merely teaches people how to ride and control me in a responsible and safe manner. And, as we've said numerous times, the kinds of activities you are referring to are illegal."

"In your world, perhaps," Celestia says. "But, as you can clearly see, you are not on your world anymore." She licks her lips and takes a few steps forward. "Now, come along, Luna and I have agreed that she is to get her lesson first."

You stamp a foot into the ground. "I don't know about Zayna, but I for one am sick and tired of having to explain our relationship." You point at Celestia and Luna. "You two are Princesses, individuals who are seen as pillars of goodness and virtue. So for crying out loud, get your minds out of the gutter and focus!"

There is a small pause before, to your and Zayna's surprise, both Celestia and Luna burst out laughing. You stand there blinking as the two of them lean on each other for support, wiping away tears of laughter from their eyes with a forehoof. The cackling giggles soon cease, much to your relief, and Celestia clears her throat.

"I'm sorry," she says. "Twilight has already explained everything to us in her letter — but Luna and I simply couldn't resist playing a little joke on you." She looks at her sister and grins. "By the way, Luna, I believe it took longer than you said it would for our friend here to lose his composure."

Luna groans and wordlessly passes a small pouch to Celestia, who tucks it into her mane. "Take your money, Tia," she grumbles, before turning her gaze to you. "We had a small wager going on how long it would take for our joke to 'get under your skin,' as I believe the saying goes." She sighs. "I thought for certain it would take you at least ten minutes to get angry with us, given that your job no doubt requires a lot of patience — but I think you can agree that that was nowhere near five minutes, let alone ten."

"Well, that is true — it's just that... I'm kinda fed up with ponies always making that assumption about me," you reply. There's a pause, during which you cough and look around awkwardly. Eventually, you clap your hands and rub them together. "Right, let's change the subject: can you get us home or not?"

"We can indeed send you back, if you so wish." Luna nods. "But the question is: do either of you want to go home?"

"Well, obviously, my answer is yes," you say, as though you are talking to an idiot. "I don't belong here, and neither does Zayna. We belong back in our own world with our own kind." You look at Zayna, expecting her to agree with you — but instead you are stunned when she lowers her head and looks away. "Right, Zayna?"

"I... I'm not sure, Master," she replies. "If we go home, then that means I won't be able to speak. It has been so refreshing to be able to converse with you, and to get a better insight into the man who has been my primary caregiver for so many years." She shuffles uncomfortably on her hooves. "And, in all honesty, I really don't want to risk going back and losing that."

You walk over to her, putting an arm around her neck and patting her gently. "I never thought of that." you mentally slap yourself. "I was so caught up in what I wanted – to go home – that I never even considered contemplating what you might want."

Zayna sighs. "You have the business to think of – a business in which I play a major role – and you also have friends and family who would miss you terribly if you were to stay here." she looks up, her eyes fixed on something nearby. "But, having said that, there is so much for me here that I really want."

You look up as well, your eyes locking on none other than those of Big Macintosh. Noticing that you are looking at him, his cheeks turn a deeper shade of red than his coat and he backs away slowly.

"When I was in that rescue centre, after all the other horses from my group were adopted, I was all alone," Zayna continues. "Then I was sent to that abattoir — only for you to rescue me. But ever since then, I have been alone. For the first time since I was a filly, I am around other equines — sure, they may not be horses... but they are my friends nonetheless."

You wipe a tear from your eye. "You really like it here, don't you, girl?" Zayna nods. "Well... what kind of monster would I be if I took you away from your true home?" You look at the Princesses. "Let her stay — send me back instead."

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Celestia asks. "Because I don't think I have to tell you that you will not be able to return to Equestria once you return to your own world."

A single nod is your response. Zayna sniffles heavily and nuzzles you, tears streaming down her face. "I'm so sorry, Master," she says. "I don't want you to think that I'm being—"

"Selfish?" you interrupt, then shake your head. "No, Zayna, if anyone has been selfish, it's me. I've pretty much kept you confined to a life of solitude for years, not even giving you a chance at the interaction you so deserve." You let out a groan. "I should have realised that horses are social creatures, and need more than humans to interact with if they are to be truly happy." You give her a kiss on the nose. "And I want you to be happy."

Zayna smiles and, much to your surprise, kisses you on the cheek. "Thank you, Master," she whispers. "I hope you find another horse to take over my duties at the riding school."

"I'll try," you whisper back. "But I don't think any replacement will ever have anything on you."

"It's funny." Zayna smiles. "You've been a part of my life all this time, and now you're leaving it. I will never forget everything that you have done for me, Master — first you saved my life, and now you are giving me a new one."

"Touching." Luna's eyes are misted over. "Truly touching."

"Lulu," Celestia teases. "Are you crying?"

"No!" Luna shouts. "There are... there must be, um, ninjas! Yes, there must be ninjas cutting onions in the immediate vicinity."

Celestia rolls her eyes and chuckles. "We can cast the spell now, if you so wish." She looks around at the party still going on around you all. "On second thoughts, perhaps we should go somewhere with a little bit more privacy."

You look around as well, then nod. "Good plan."

***

A few minutes later, your little group is outside of Ponyville and standing on a wide expanse of grass. You can see a city standing atop a mountain in the distance, a few clouds dotted across the sky, and hear the birds singing from the trees.

Zayna is looking at you with a tearful smile, while Twilight's friends offer her some comforting words and hugs. Twilight herself, noticing your forlorn expression, comes over to you.

"I can tell that you're worried about Zayna," she says. "But you don't have to be — we'll take care of her, I promise."

"I know you will, Twilight." you nod. "I know you will." You walk over and give Zayna one last, very tight, hug. "Goodbye, girl, thanks for everything."

"Goodbye, Master," Zayna replies. "And thank you for everything."

You detach yourself from Zayna's neck and, at Luna's direction, stand directly in front of the two Princesses. You cast one final glance at Zayna, now surrounded by Twilight and the others, and bow your head. "Do it."

Luna and Celestia nodded, the latter gesturing for everyone to move back as an aura grew around their horns. The aura slowly became brighter and brighter, forcing you to cover your eyes at some point. Zayna gave a snort as she backed up from the light, her eyes awash with worry.

But just as quickly as it appeared, the light disappeared. You move your hand away from your eyes and chuckle. "Well then," you say. "That was certainly antic—"

You are cut off as two glowing beams of light rush out from the Princesses horns, merging into one before striking you in the chest.

A warm feeling spreads throughout your body as the beam grows in strength. A bead of sweat falls from Celestia’s brow as she tries to maintain her beam while Luna tenses herself.

As the beam spreads over your chest, a feeling of terror replaces the warmth you felt. Resisting the urge to run away, you stand absolutely still as the beam starts covering the rest of your body.

As the beam reaches your neck you feel a sharp pain in your entire body, as if someone was jabbing you with needles. You grunt as the beam reaches your chin, the pain starting to get worse by the second. You open your mouth and bare your teeth at the Princesses, knowing full well that something was wrong.

The Princesses didn’t notice you, but they were starting to look a bit worried. Twilight’s brow furrowed as she saw your expression but did nothing. Zayna looked at you with concern and tried to get the Princesses' attention by trotting up to them.

"Hey!" she shouted. "What's going on?!"

The Princesses' did not stop, although Celestia did cast a sideways glance at Zayna. By now, the beam was almost at your crotch. Your legs were quivering from the pain and you struggled not to fall.

You let out a cry of pain as the beam reached your crotch. This was not something you were prepared to accept — yet you were powerless to do anything about it. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see a few sparks of reddish violet whirling around you.

You yelp as something warm and furry suddenly collides with you and sends you hurtling towards the ground. You suck in some air as the pressure on your chest lessens, your entire body now feeling as numb as a rock. A loud pop tells you that the magic has dissipated, and a pained grunt tells you that you've landed. Slowly opening your eyes, you are surprised to find Zayna on top of you. There's a moment of silence – during which you realise you just got tackled by a horse, and now everything hurts like hell – before it is broken.

"Are you all right?" you ask in unison.

You both chuckle and nod, but the resulting silence is broken by Luna speaking in a too-loud whisper to her sister.

"Are we sure they're not a couple?"

You're about to put her right when events finally catch up to you, and you pass out from the intense pain.

Author's Note

I hope this was worth the wait, but bear in mind we're still not done.

Special Thanks to harts fire, Spirit of Harmony and Shachza for pre-reading — the later also being kind enough to tell me exactly where I messed up and offer suggestions for improvement.

Also, many thanks to Murder Knight for helping me with the spell scene.

Awakening

You open your eyes slowly, your vision slowly returning to show you that you are in a hospital bed. Zayna is nowhere to be seen, you can't turn your head, and everything hurts.

The last things you can remember are a blinding light, followed by a heavy weight landing on you. The weight was Zayna, of that you are certain, while the light was from the spell the Princesses were trying to cast — the spell that was supposed to send you home.

And given the fact you can see ponies walking by outside, you are quick to realise that the spell failed. Spectacularly.

You slowly pull yourself up to a sitting position and take note of the damage. Your left arm and both your legs are in casts, and a quick feel around your neck with your right hand reveals a neck brace.

"Shoot, Zayna," you mutter. "You really did a number on me, girl." You groan. "Jeez, why do I feel like I've been asleep for over a year? Maybe they pumped me full of painkillers due to the fact I had a four-hundred and fifty kilogram horse tackle me."

"Actually, Master, most of your injuries are the result of the spell the Princesses were trying to cast." Zayna trots into the room slowly and approaches you, her eyes shining with compassion and concern. "I merely broke your leg when I landed on you — the other injuries are the result of the spell backfiring."

"Really?" you ask, to which she nods. "Well, I'll be damned."

"Damned, my friend, you may be," another – eerily familiar – voice says. "But please don't say you forgot about me."

"Oh, hell." you struggle against your restraints and casts as you try to figure out where the voice is coming from, only for the screen next to your bed to be pulled back, revealing Zecora — who looks just as messed up as you do. Her back legs are in casts, and she is lying awkwardly on her side as she stares at you.

"Well, this was unexpected." Zayna smirks. "I'd like to see you try something now, you demented zebra."

Zecora shakes her head. "My friend Apple Bloom was the one who brought me to this infirmary," she replies. "I was brought to treat and explain my injuries. I gave them my explanation, and was clarified about your situation. Please, forgive me for my infraction, I assure you that I meant no harm by my actions. I merely allowed myself to get caught up in what had hounded you for so long. I believe you’re getting used to this old dance and song."

You and Zayna look at each other. "So... you tried to jump my bones because you thought I was that kind of 'riding instructor?'" Zecora nods. "I see. Well... I accept your apology, Zecora."

"As do I," Zayna adds. "And I'm sorry for hurting you, Zecora." She pauses. "At least, I assume you're here because I kicked you."

"You were only defending the one who owns you," Zecora replies. "I cannot fault you for doing as many pets would do."

Zayna smiles. "I will admit that it felt good to be the one doing the defending for a change," she says. "And I also saved him from the spell... but I doubt that I will get the chance to do it again."

"Don't say that," you respond. "You'll jinx yourself."

Zayna giggles and nuzzles you. "I'm glad you're all right, Master," she says. "I missed the sound of your voice."

You pat her neck. "Thanks, girl, I missed you too." you then kiss her gently on the nose, which makes her nicker. "Thanks for saving me from what was, without a doubt, the worst light show ever."

Zayna rolls her eyes. "I missed your voice, but not your jokes." she turns and walks back towards the door. "Twilight and the Princesses asked me to inform them when you woke up, so that they could speak with you about what happened." She opens the door, using her mouth to turn the handle. "I'll leave you and Zecora to get to know each other a little better. Have fun."

With that, she walks out and closes the door, leaving you and Zecora to look at each other awkwardly. After a moment, you break the silence by clearing your throat.

"So, Zecora," you say. "When we first met, you mentioned that 'potions were your game.' What sort of potions do you make?"

Zecora smiles, seemingly pleased at your interest in her work, and then starts explaining it to you as best she can.

This should kill a few minutes, you think to yourself.

***

An hour later, and Zayna still isn't back with Twilight and the Princesses. Zecora, meanwhile, has only stopped talking to draw enough breath so she can carry on.

"And that's how I got the ponies to stop seeing me as one they should fear," she finishes. "And ever since that day, we've been friends ever so dear."

You let out a breath. "Wow, Zecora, that's some story," you reply. "But I think I can top it, with the story of how Zayna and I—"

"That story, to me, has been told as well," Zecora interrupts. "A good man you are, to have saved her from a veritable hell."

You rub the back of your head. "Yeah, I am a good person," you say quietly. "Good enough that I was willing to let her stay here while I returned home." You wave your free hand over your battered and broken form. "Suffice to say, that particular tree didn't bear fruit."

Zecora gives you a sympathetic smile as the door opens and Zayna walks back in, looking somewhat disgruntled. Celestia, Luna and Twilight soon follow, the latter looking rather pleased with herself.

"I'm sorry for the delay, Master, but Twilight insisted on taking some measurements regarding my height and weight," Zayna grumbles. "She is writing a report on the incident, and 'every little detail needs to be recorded for posterity.'"

"Um... okay?" If you could, you would have shrugged. "It's not like I was going anywhere, so I don't mind the wait. Besides, Zecora and I have had plenty of time to talk."

"Glad to hear it!" Twilight says, before addressing Zecora. "I am so sorry we didn't come to check up on you after our guests told us what happened. We just assumed you were all right, given how you are able to live in the Everfree with such ease."

"Twilight Sparkle, I humbly accept your apology this day." Zecora raises a forehoof. "However, it is not something you need to say. I was not out long before Apple Bloom tended to my health, and I was able to treat some of my injuries myself."

Twilight lets out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Zecora," she says. "But, still, as a token of apology, I've arranged for your medical fees to be covered by the Royal Court." She points at Celestia and Luna. "Both Princesses have already taken care of it."

Zecora bows slightly. "Thank you, Your Majesties. I appreciate you paying my medical fees."

"Think nothing of it, dear Zecora," Celestia says. "After all, you have done much for Twilight and her friends; it's the least we could do." She turns her attention to you. "I assume you have questions about what happened, so please. Ask away."

"Why did the spell fail?" you ask. "That's pretty much all I have."

"As you know, it was Discord's magic which brought you here in the first place," Luna says. "The spell Celestia and I were casting was intended to reverse the effects of said magic, thus returning you to your own world. Unfortunately, we overlooked something."

You raise an eyebrow. "Overlooked what?"

"Normally magic, when used, will dissipate over time. For smaller things like telekinesis, the magic used to lift something will fade almost immediately after the spell is ended," Twilight chips in.

"I can understand that," you reply.

"However, chaos magic tends to linger for a lot longer, because... well, it's chaotic and therefore doesn't obey normal rules," Twilight continues, letting out a small sigh. "Sadly, the magic which brought you here had already dissipated by the time the spell was cast — meaning that the Princesses' spell actually ended up trying to destroy you. That's why it hurt so much."

You blink a couple of times as you try to process this information. When you do, your eyes widen. "So instead of getting sent home, I nearly got killed?" You glance at Zayna, who is just as shocked. "It's a good thing she realised something was wrong."

"But why did the spell try to destroy him?" Zayna demands.

Celestia scratches her head. "The spell we were using was the same one that we used against Discord when we first attempted to banish him. But back then, his chaos magic was too strong and he was able to easily overwhelm us."

"And then we found the Elements of Harmony," Luna said. "Which we then used to seal him in stone and end his reign."

"The idea behind using the same spell on you was that because the amount of chaos magic would be minimal at best, without Discord here to amplify it, it would reverse the effect." Celestia sighs. "But, as you know all too well, it didn't. It pains me to say this, but there is now no way for you to return home. And for that..."

Celestia and Luna kneel before you, before they speak two words in perfect unison. "We're sorry."

You look at the two sisters, then to Zayna – who does a gesture you believe is meant to be a shrug – and then back to the sisters.

"You have nothing to apologise for, Princesses, so please stand up." They do so, and you continue. "Nobody could have anticipated things going wrong the way they did, but the fact remains that you at least tried to send me back to my old life. But, as the old saying goes, 'every cloud has a silver lining.' If you truly wish to apologise to me... then you will help me adjust to my new life in Equestria."

Celestia nods. "We will do everything in our power to help you," she says. "We understand that this is a huge change for you, so you will have all the assistance you need to get used to it."

Luna nods as well. "The first thing we will do is, by our rights as Princesses, hereby name you both as official Equestrian citizens. The second thing we will do is get you out of this hospital and into a house of your own, which will be specifically built for you both."

"Thank you, Princesses," Zayna says. "We appreciate everything you have done, and will continue to do, for us."

"What she said," you add. "And as long as Twilight keeps the questioning and measurements to a minimum, we're set."

Twilight sticks her tongue out at you, while Celestia and Luna laugh.

"We shall have our finest architect draw up some plans for your new home, and let you see them at the earliest opportunity," Luna says. "Come, Tia, Twilight, let our friend rest. He's had quite a day."

"All right." Twilight's stomach growls. "I could use some lunch, anyway. Are you coming, Zayna?"

"Fine," Zayna says. "Rest now, Master, and I will be back."

The four of them leave the room, closing the door behind them and leaving you with your thoughts — thoughts which are interrupted once again by the sound Zecora's voice. A quick glance reveals that she had been feigning sleep through the whole visit.

"So you staying here is now the deal?" she asks, to which you give her a nod. "That's good — because I believe you owe me a meal..."

Author's Note

The next chapter will be the last — but I'll try to have it published soon, rather than next year.

Thanks, once again, to Alticron for helping me with Zecora's dialogue.

Feedback is always appreciated. :twilightsmile:

Adjustment

You awaken to find a gloomy sky hanging overhead, the angry grey clouds threatening to drop their cargo at the slightest touch, and roll over so you can drape an arm around the neck of the mare lying in the bed next to you. After making sure that she is asleep, you kiss the back of her head and slide out of bed, before putting the covers around her and going into the kitchen.

The calendar on the wall grabs your attention, as today's date has been circled. Looking at it, you are quick to realise something important about the date in question. After all, it is very significant to you and Zayna.

As of today, the two of you have been in Equestria for two years.

At first, you struggled to adapt to this world of talking ponies; losing your home, business, friends and family was a lot to take in. For the first few months, there were times when you would lie awake at night and wonder how everyone was coping with your sudden and unexpected disappearance. At other times, you would cry yourself to sleep, thanks in no small part to your sense of loss.

You got a lot of support from Twilight and the Princesses, the former letting you stay in the library while a house was constructed specifically for you and Zayna. It was finished in a few months, and looks every bit like the place you used to live in; two floors, en-suite bathroom, large master bedroom, spare room, spacious kitchen and an attached stable for your horse. To earn a living, you got a job as an odd-job man, doing various things for the folks in town. Fingers and height, a winning combination. Zayna, on the other hand, was perfectly content with her new-found 'retirement.'

Pinkie Pie threw what she described as 'the house-warming party to end all house-warming parties,' where you were able to make the acquaintance of most of the ponies in town.

The party was fun, and you managed to make the acquaintance of many of your new neighbours — but once it was over, you went back to feeling as though there was a void needing to be filled.

It was later that night, as you were climbing into your new bed, when realisation finally washed over you.

You were lonely.

The 'realisation' came in the form of the fact you were never going to see a human woman ever again pushing its way to the forefront of your mind, leading you to realise you were going to be alone.

Forever.

Or were you?

You had Zayna, that much was certain, but she was your pet — a fact you had made abundantly clear to the ponies on your arrival. She was definitely out of the question when it came to answering the 'Who do I want to spend the rest of my life with?' question.

As the months went by, and you slowly began to accept that your new life was the one you were stuck with, you began to see one of your new friends as a 'suitable candidate,' for want of a better phrase. Sure, the two of you started out on the wrong foot – or hoof, as the case may be – but you had put your differences aside and gotten to know each other a lot better as of late.

You spent a lot of time together – and it soon turned out that you both had a lot in common – so you decided to broach the subject of a relationship one evening, by simply asking if she was even remotely interested in you in that way.

Subtlety never was your strong point.

As it turned out, she was interested, and you soon found yourself on the first date you'd been on since college. One date became two, two dates became three, three dates became four, and four dates became a make-out session at your front door.

And just like that, the void was filled. Fast forward to the present day, and you are still together. You spend as many nights together as possible, but she still hasn't moved in with you yet. Which is hardly a surprise, given where her place is located.

You end your trip down Memory Lane, tearing yourself away from the calendar so you can begin the process of making breakfast. Pancakes seem to be the choice for today, as they are every other day, so you gather the ingredients and get cracking.

As the mix sizzles on the hob, the sound of hoofsteps enters your ears and you turn around to see Zayna walking in with a smile on her face — followed soon after by a small foal.

The foal, a young colt, is brown in colour with a brilliant orange mane and tail, and green eyes. He is also quite tall, a trait he no doubt gets from his mother. The lanky lad takes a seat at the table next to Zayna, who nuzzles him affectionately.

"Good morning, you two," you say cheerfully. "Breakfast will be ready shortly, so grab a plate and sit tight."

"Is it pancakes again?" the colt asks, to which you nod. "Good, I love those!" He looks at Zayna. "What are you having, Mother?"

"I'll be having my usual, little Tafaha," Zayna replies. "A nice big tub of freshly harvested oats." She licks her lips.

"I'll get it once these are ready," you say. "I don't want to burn these things... again." You flip the pancakes for added effect.

Zayna nods. "I can wait, Master," she says. "It's no problem."

Tafaha cocks his head in confusion. "Why do you call him that, Mum?" he asks. "I just call him 'Uncle.'"

Zayna chuckles and ruffles his mane, making him squeak in protest. "It's a long story, little one," she replies. "And it is a story I will tell you when you are old enough to understand it."

"Aww, boo." Tafaha crosses his forelegs and sulks for a while, but he soon perks up as you place a plate of pancakes in front of him. He ignores the fork you offer him, choosing instead to bury his face in the pile and chew loudly.

While he eats – or, to be accurate, demolishes – his breakfast, you pour some oats in a tub and present it to Zayna. She nuzzles your cheek and digs in with dignified grace, something you assume she picked up from Rarity during measuring sessions for a new saddle.

"So, what's the plan for today?" you ask, as you sit down with your own pancakes, as well as a cup of tea and today's copy of the local paper. "Are you going to be doing anything interesting today?"

Zayna looks up from her breakfast. "Not really." she dabs at her muzzle with a napkin. "I need to go and visit Cheerilee later, to see about getting Tafaha a place at the school, and then I'm going for my usual walk around the perimeter of town."

Tafaha swallows noisily. "Dad said he was going to take me to work with him today!" he says eagerly. "I can't wait!"

You hear the front door opening, followed by heavy footsteps. "Speaking of 'Dad...'" you raise your voice. "We're in the kitchen!"

As the new arrival enters the kitchen, Tafaha shoots out of his seat and attaches himself to their neck. "Dad!" he squeals. "Are you here to take me to work with you?" The newcomer nods. "Woo-hoo! I'm going to have a quick shower and get my stuff. Be right back!"

He shoots off upstairs, leaving Zayna to greet your guest with a long and lingering kiss on the lips, separating after a while.

"Morning, Mac," she says. "Are you sure you're ready to have Tafaha helping out on the farm with you?"

"Eeyup." Big Mac nods. "He'll soon get tired out after a while. An' ya don't have ta worry 'bout him none, sugarcube; I guarantee you that he'll be fine. Ain't nothin' gonna happen to him on mah watch."

"I don't doubt that for a second, Mac," Zayna replies. "Now, are you and I still on for going out after the Ponytones concert tonight?"

"Of course we are, Zayna; ya know I ain't gonna let ya down."

Zayna kisses him again. "Glad to hear it." At that moment, Tafaha comes bounding down the stairs again. "Looks like he's ready."

"Sure looks like it." Mac turns to you. "Sorry 'bout ignorin' ya there, pardner, Zayna here kinda distracted me fer a while."

"No biggie, Mac." you wave a hand dismissively. "She can be a very distracting mare at times. Right, Zayna?"

Mac chuckles, while Zayna rolls her eyes. "Very funny, Master," she replies. "Anyway, Mac, you'd better hurry before a certain somepony starts to get cranky."

"I won't get cranky," Tafaha grumbles. "I'll just get really, really upset that we're not going as quickly as I want us to!"

"All right then, young'un," Mac says. "Let's get to it." He looks at Zayna. "Let me know how ya get on with Cheerilee, sugarcube, and I'll see ya later tonight." He kisses her. "Love ya."

"Love you too, Mac." Zayna calls after the quickly retreating form of Tafaha, who has shot outside like a rocket. "Have fun, behave and for the love of Celestia, be careful!"

Mac swiftly follows Tafaha out into the street, Zayna waving to him as he leaves. Once he's out of sight, she closes the door and returns to the kitchen, where you are washing your dishes.

"You two are cute together," you tell her. "You know that?"

"I do, as it happens," Zayna replies. "In fact, I could say the same thing about you and your special somepony." She giggles at the blush which creeps onto your cheeks. "Seriously though, Master, the two of you are perfect together. You have both become so close lately, it's almost as if the unpleasantness which went down when you first met never happened."

You chuckle. "I know, right?" You hear hoofsteps on the stairs, and a smile creeps onto your lips. "Speak of the proverbial devil..."

For the second time that day, another new arrival walks into your kitchen. She looks at you warmly, while you dry your hands, and Zayna nuzzles you one last time before heading to the door. She greets the new arrival with a nod and stands in the doorway.

"I'll go and meet with Cheerilee now," she says. "You two have fun doing... whatever it is you're doing today."

"We will," you reply. "I'll see you later, Zayna."

"Bye!" she leaves the house and soon disappears from sight, leaving you to walk over and greet your visitor in the same way Mac greeted Zayna earlier — with a long and lingering kiss.

"Hey, you," you say. "What's the plan for today?"

"Gathering ingredients, is my primary task," Zecora replies. "Your help with this endeavour, I do humbly ask."

You grin. "To refuse to assist, would not be a win," you reply. "In fact, I dare say, it would be a huge sin." Zecora narrows her eyes at you, but the smile on her face betrays her stern demeanour. "Point taken; I'll leave the rhyming to you in future." You walk over and open the door. "Shall we depart?"

Zecora smiles, kisses your cheek and leaves the house, allowing you to close the door and follow her on the latest instalment of what has been a truly extraordinary journey.

Author's Note

After reading the first few paragraphs, how many of you thought that 'You' had been shipped with Zayna at first? Come on now, be honest.

Also, 'Tafaha' is Arabic for 'apple.' :trollestia:

Anyway, this chapter means that Of Horses And Whorses has officially come to an end. It has been one hell of a trip, especially when you consider the fact that there were so many long waits between chapters. However, it is done now, and I thank you for all of your support.

If I've made any mistakes, or you feel that something is missing, please let me know.

Also, I might try and think of an idea for a sequel... although it's going to need a damn good idea to continue this.