Chapter !: Shit gets cancerous
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Zelicorn in eqruta

Chapter !: Shit gets cancerous

[02/07/2013 23:51:37] zel: we do not have zel in equestria though D:

[02/07/2013 23:51:50] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: ^

[02/07/2013 23:52:03] aexistentialturnipfailure: you are the only one who is allowed to publish zel in equestria, though, because otherwise it would be meta

[02/07/2013 23:52:17] zel: oh my

[02/07/2013 23:52:28] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Lets just use a nickname

[02/07/2013 23:52:31] aexistentialturnipfailure: write a hie self-insert, zel, do it. become the spagheti

[02/07/2013 23:52:32] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Such as randy

[02/07/2013 23:52:45] zel: [02 July 2013 23:52] aexistentialturnipfailure:

<<< become the spaghetiI already went beyond spaghetti

[02/07/2013 23:52:54] aexistentialturnipfailure: the meatballs?

[02/07/2013 23:52:57] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Become the next level autis zel

[02/07/2013 23:53:07] zel: actually I might write it

[02/07/2013 23:53:09] zel: for autism

[02/07/2013 23:53:17] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: do it

[02/07/2013 23:53:30] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: No trying, just a random streme of shit

[02/07/2013 23:53:49] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Like every other author does (or at least myself)

[02/07/2013 23:54:45] zel: hawt

[02/07/2013 23:57:27] zel: zel shall be a human alicorn

[02/07/2013 23:57:34] aexistentialturnipfailure: o mai

[02/07/2013 23:57:46] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: arrousing

[02/07/2013 23:58:20] zel: of course

[02/07/2013 23:58:30] zel: and his horn looks like penis

[02/07/2013 23:58:45] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Artistic brilliance.

[02/07/2013 23:58:45 | Edited 23:58:50] zel: that is why his parents died when he was a child

[02/07/2013 23:59:00] zel: and he dyed his skin red

[02/07/2013 23:59:02 | Edited 23:59:06] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Le gasp, epic story telling and emotional drama

[02/07/2013 23:59:32] aexistentialturnipfailure: his parents died because his horn looks like a penis?

[02/07/2013 23:59:36] zel: yes

[02/07/2013 23:59:37] aexistentialturnipfailure: of shame, I presume?

[02/07/2013 23:59:41 | Edited 23:59:45] zel: he was teased

[02/07/2013 23:59:50] zel: and then he exploded

[02/07/2013 23:59:52] zel: with rage

[03/07/2013 00:00:08] zel: and uncovered his hidden demogod powers

[03/07/2013 00:01:20] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Such gripping narrative and innotive storytelling

[03/07/2013 00:01:41] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: It will truely be an interlectual wonder of the modern times.

[03/07/2013 00:02:11] zel: of course

[03/07/2013 00:02:19] zel: there will be bitches and gunfights

[03/07/2013 00:02:51] aexistentialturnipfailure: you can't really call it my little pony fanfiction without at least one gunfight

[03/07/2013 00:03:10] zel: also fast cars

[03/07/2013 00:03:17 | Edited 00:03:56] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Just like romeo and juliet: historians and school teaches of like will shoove your masterpeice down the throats of children for centuries to come, forcing them to comb over and dychyier the hidden meanings behind your clever wordplay

[03/07/2013 00:03:18] zel: I forgot about cars

[03/07/2013 00:03:58] zel: "zel in Aquestreiae" by Alexander Shakespenis

[03/07/2013 00:04:10] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: lol

[03/07/2013 00:04:23] zel: <44

[03/07/2013 00:04:46] zel: how can I introduce more autism

[03/07/2013 00:04:48] zel: any tips

[03/07/2013 00:05:06] zel: hmm

[03/07/2013 00:05:07] zel: religion

[03/07/2013 00:05:31] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: have him fight discord and win through retarded story mechanics that you invent on the spot halfway through writing

[03/07/2013 00:05:49] aexistentialturnipfailure: have sex with chrysalis

[03/07/2013 00:05:49] zel: perfect

[03/07/2013 00:05:59] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Also what rfiddles said

[03/07/2013 00:06:07 | Edited 00:06:18] zel: [03 July 2013 00:05] aexistentialturnipfailure:

<<< have sex with chrysalissssh, we are not trying to fillful my fantasies here

[03/07/2013 00:06:12] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: but you have to tame her black heart and bring her to the good side

[03/07/2013 00:06:27] zel: aww

[03/07/2013 00:06:33] aexistentialturnipfailure: yes, convert chrysalis and also king sombra to good by seducing them

[03/07/2013 00:06:42] zel: and then she will become white flutterpony

[03/07/2013 00:06:45 | Edited 00:06:54] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: At the same time immediately after defeating discord

[03/07/2013 00:07:06] aexistentialturnipfailure: flitterponies and seaponies are necessary

[03/07/2013 00:07:14] zel: and while cumming inside luna and celestia at the same time

[03/07/2013 00:07:19] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: But wait, theres moar

[03/07/2013 00:07:25] aexistentialturnipfailure: more?

[03/07/2013 00:07:50 | Edited 00:07:56] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: You must fight triach and grodar from the previous generations

[03/07/2013 00:08:09] zel: with smooze sword

[03/07/2013 00:08:14] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: indeed

[03/07/2013 00:08:20] zel: and gak cannon

[03/07/2013 00:08:53] aexistentialturnipfailure: fight them with the assistance of that guy from half-life, or shepherd, whichever

[03/07/2013 00:09:14] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: you temper the smmoze into a etheareal blade of pure drakness and curruption, dispite that fact it is trying to currpt you like saurons ring you do not surcume because your will is too powerful

[03/07/2013 00:09:25] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Why not both?

[03/07/2013 00:10:31] aexistentialturnipfailure: for some inexplicable reason, human zelicorn is best friends with a bunch of video game characters, who appear at the final battle and tell him how great he is while they help him fight

[03/07/2013 00:10:38] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Also he must overcome the blister he has on his foot

[03/07/2013 00:11:01] aexistentialturnipfailure: he will die from the blister at the end, because this is a srs story about srs events

[03/07/2013 00:11:16] zel: [03 July 2013 00:10] aexistentialturnipfailure:

<<< best friends with a bunch of video game characters, who appear at the final battle and tell him how great he is while they help him fightsimply beautiful

[03/07/2013 00:12:20 | Edited 00:12:38] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: 6,000 words into the story zelicorn has solved all the problems, but learns of the transdimentional war waging between the aliocorns and draquoneccues who wish to lolicaust the alicorns because they're a bunch of faggots.

Zelicon brings an end to the immortal war in just 1000 words

[03/07/2013 00:12:30] zel: although he should, right before apparent death, remember everyone telling him important words of life wisdom, and with newfound strength, rise again

[03/07/2013 00:12:48] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: ^

[03/07/2013 00:13:22] zel: also he obtains an army of dual dagger-wielding catgirl lolis

[03/07/2013 00:13:29] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: yes

[03/07/2013 00:13:35] aexistentialturnipfailure: but if he does not die at the end, then how will i craie?

[03/07/2013 00:13:36] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Summoned from 4chan

[03/07/2013 00:13:45] aexistentialturnipfailure: i need craie, zel, need craie ;_;

[03/07/2013 00:13:50] zel: he does not die

[03/07/2013 00:13:51] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: He dies, but then coems back in the next chapter

[03/07/2013 00:13:55] zel: but his lover does

[03/07/2013 00:13:57] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Just like that rainbow dash fic

[03/07/2013 00:14:05] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Le gasp

[03/07/2013 00:14:13] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: zel that is brilliant, magnificent

[03/07/2013 00:14:20] aexistentialturnipfailure: not chrysalis!

[03/07/2013 00:14:21] zel: yes

[03/07/2013 00:14:33] zel: saved the world, but did not manage to save his loved one

[03/07/2013 00:14:48] zel: and in the sequel, he descends to the depths of hell to save her

[03/07/2013 00:14:55] aexistentialturnipfailure: fortunately, since he converted her to good with his penis, she will go to heaven

[03/07/2013 00:15:05] aexistentialturnipfailure: well nvm then

[03/07/2013 00:15:28] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: where he fights triac and Satan

[03/07/2013 00:16:24] zel: she is not evil, but she was captured by evil final fantasy-or-something character

[03/07/2013 00:17:14] aexistentialturnipfailure: oh no!

[03/07/2013 00:17:55] zel: yes

[03/07/2013 00:18:07] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Le gasp

[03/07/2013 00:18:31] aexistentialturnipfailure: i am filled with excitement about this story. i must tell you, it will be a landmark, it will be big, it will be bigger than anything. people are going to read this, and then burn every other book they own. they're not going to need any other stories after this story.

[03/07/2013 00:18:38] zel: and then the evil guy fuses with satan

[03/07/2013 00:18:45] zel: and with discord

[03/07/2013 00:18:51] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Who is also dead

[03/07/2013 00:18:54] zel: yes

[03/07/2013 00:19:05] zel: but uses necromancy to bring him alive

[03/07/2013 00:19:39] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: It'd be funny if this was actually well written

[03/07/2013 00:19:45] zel: heh

[03/07/2013 00:20:16] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: I mean if you actually wrote it out with decent characters ect

[03/07/2013 00:20:25] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: But kept the plot

[03/07/2013 00:20:28] zel: unfortunately I fucking suck at writing

[03/07/2013 00:20:41] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: That is kinda the point

[03/07/2013 00:20:47] zel: ...

[03/07/2013 00:21:07] zel: I cannot even write bad shit on purpose

[03/07/2013 00:21:08] aexistentialturnipfailure: just do it. do it for the honor of the poles.

[03/07/2013 00:21:13] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: ^

[03/07/2013 00:21:18 | Edited 00:21:21] zel: potatoes

[03/07/2013 00:21:18] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Do it for your tribe zel

[03/07/2013 00:21:32] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: It's ingrained in your filthy polish instincts

[03/07/2013 00:21:38] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Do them proud

[03/07/2013 00:21:43] zel: oh

[03/07/2013 00:21:44 | Edited 00:22:01] aexistentialturnipfailure: do it for potatoes as well. "Potatoes and Poland," that could even be his battlecry

[03/07/2013 00:21:49] zel: I can feel the power of my ancestors

[03/07/2013 00:22:26] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Yes, he calls upon the spirit of his polish ancesters to help him defeat discord

[03/07/2013 00:23:13] zel: naturally

[03/07/2013 00:23:36] zel: the power manifests as daft punk's manuel's helmet

[03/07/2013 00:23:52] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Here's an idea for a writing contest, we submit this storyline, and see who can make the best of it...

[03/07/2013 00:23:58] zel: ...

[03/07/2013 00:23:59] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: ^

[03/07/2013 00:24:02] zel: wrath pls

[03/07/2013 00:24:10] zel: oh

[03/07/2013 00:24:16] zel: I forgot about the power of rock

[03/07/2013 00:24:33] zel: a flying-V guitar that shoots lightning

[03/07/2013 00:24:39] aexistentialturnipfailure: tenacious d cameo

[03/07/2013 00:24:49] zel: jesus no

[03/07/2013 00:24:56] zel: even autism has its limits

[03/07/2013 00:25:41] aexistentialturnipfailure: no limits, barrel straight through every wall, gas pedal fully depressed the whole way

[03/07/2013 00:26:05] zel: hot

[03/07/2013 00:26:38] zel: what other shitty references can we make?

[03/07/2013 00:29:18] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: halo?

[03/07/2013 00:29:34 | Edited 00:29:38] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: Wait wait, naruto

[03/07/2013 00:30:01] zel: oh my

[03/07/2013 00:30:19] zel: yes, master chief fursuit

[03/07/2013 00:30:30] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: gears of war

[03/07/2013 00:30:35] aexistentialturnipfailure: chuck norris

[03/07/2013 00:30:50] zel: Call of Duty

[03/07/2013 00:30:58] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: All of the above, but under the title of EA

[03/07/2013 00:31:16] zel: shitty late 90's tv shows

[03/07/2013 00:31:47] ฬгคtђ AHopelessEndeavor: common writer climax bee edition?