Off-Menu Special

by TacticalRainboom

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Pinkie Pie, Sex
Length: 2678

This customer to Hearth Bakery isn't here for the cupcakes. Well, not just the cupcakes.

Horizon Walker is what the media calls a Shadowrunner, a professional criminal-- and nobody knows better than criminals how rare and precious a friend is. Not wanting to take advantage of the bakery staff's kindness, Walker comes in one morning to repay a favor, and gets considerably more than she bargained for.

This short takes place in a future-Equestria, the universe of the fic below:

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/11808/The-6th-Age%3A-Shadows-of-Equestria

Published 2012-02-20 09:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-20 09:24:01 UTC

Chapter 1

"Alright, Fuchsia... I just wanted to stop by and... pay you for your help yesterday." Walker’s smile was weak, but unmistakable, and Fuchsia wanted to flash one in return, if only her signature grin wasn’t already on her face.

"I ought to go now,” the bedraggled-looking mare said, in such a cutely apologetic tone. “You have customers to get to."

“Wait, wait!”

Walker let out a weak sort of eep sound as her benefactor snagged her by the end of her mane and tossed her bodily onto a seat. “Wait right here!” Fuchsia chirped, practically galloping her way into the kitchen. For a few silent moments, Walker just stared after her server, wide-eyed and a little dazed. Hearth Bakery really did live up to its name, she thought, taking a proper look at her surroundings. Through the front window, she could see the statue of the Sisters on a perfectly manicured stretch of grass, and beyond that, the highrises of central Ponyville and the cloud-piercing spires of New Canterlot proper. Inside, the simple decor and old-fashioned equipment made it so she could really believe that she had gone back to a quiet, friendly suburb in the year 900 or so-- and not a stupid, painted tourist trap, as had been her initial impression of this place.

In only a few moments, Fuchsia was back with a white cake box full of-

“Cupcakes.” Walker smiled again, that half-lidded smile that made Fuchsia want to reach out and drag the edges of the white unicorn’s mouth into a full-faced grin, but it also made her want to giggle at how she didn’t know how cute she looked when she did that. “Won’t you get in trouble, though?” Walker continued, her face falling just slightly. “I mean, I don’t want to...”

“Trouble? For what? Don’t be silly. They’re paid for!” Fuchsia chirped, sliding into place across from Walker.

“Oh... I just meant that as a way to pay you back for...”

“Pay me back for what?” Fuchsia interrupted, fluttering her eyelashes innocently.

“... Right. I mean, uh... Thanks.”

“Noooo problemo! Go on, try one! These are my favorite.” Fuchsia slid a pair of plastic tongs across the table, which Walker didn’t even notice as she was busy focusing her telekinesis to lift a cupcake without disturbing the others. Seeing this, Fuchsia took her tongs back and used them to take a cupcake for herself.

Sure enough, every bit of this cupcake lived up to the reputation of the shop. “I always make these myself,” Fuchsia said cheerfully as Walker sank her teeth into the first bite. It was moist and rich, the yellow cake standing beautifully on its own merit, the frosting not too sweet, and there was some kind of sticky filling, like jam or thick syrup. It wasn’t like any particular flavor she could think of, but it tasted heavenly, the heaviness of the filling clashing and blending with the soft, airy cake. As she pulled back, she saw that whatever it was had a vibrant pink color. A hair-thin strand of it reaching from the inside of the cupcake to her lips glistened in the fluorescent light.

Walker eagerly swallowed and started to work her way through the rest of the large cupcake as Fuchsia started talking again. “They’re kind of an off-menu special. I do them for friends.” Fuchsia had managed to fetch herself a cupcake, and was balancing it on one hoof. With practiced accuracy, she peeled the paper wrapper back with her teeth, then opened wide and slammed the whole cupcake like a shot of liquor, with a motion similar to a “facehoof” or perhaps closer to punching herself in the mouth. “I’m the only pony anywhere who makes cupcakes like this. You won’t find ones like them anywhere else in the whooole world!”

Fuchsia’s tone gave Walker pause for some reason, and she hovered the last bite of cupcake in front of her, peering closely at it. The last glob of pink syrup had a mirror sheen to its surface, and its smell was very different from how its taste combined so perfectly with the cake and frosting. Its sweetness had a heavy, almost musky aspect. Not unpleasant, but it had been so well disguised by the other flavors that it took Walker by surprise. As the unicorn pony ate the last bite of her cupcake, she analyzed the flavor more carefully-- Yes, there it was, that strange, unique taste.

“Weeeeelllll?” Fuchsia said excitedly as she saw Walker finish the last of her first cupcake. “Aren’t you going to have another?” Walker wanted to refuse; one cupcake was enough. She started to speak, but was interrupted by Fuchsia insisting, “One cupcake is no fun! No need to be worried about having too many, I made them for you!”

Between the time she’d spent talking and the time Walker had spent investigating the filling, Fuchsia had picked out and unwrapped another cupcake. The brown earth pony slid the box of cupcakes closer to Walker before pounding back the cupcake balanced on her hoof, just as before.

“Yeah... You’re right. I might as well, ah, indulge.” Walker had another cupcake levitating in front of her already. She really did want another of these cupcakes. Balanced, delicious, and not too filling. “I... wow. These are some really... really good cupcakes.” With that, she dug into the second cake with much greater zeal, finishing it in seconds. “One more,” Fuchsia taunted, with another cupcake of her own already propped on one hoof, ready to go. Without hesitation this time, Walker lifted another cupcake and, not wanting to be outdone, balanced this one on her hoof and telekinetically peeled it just as she’d seen Fuchsia do. The unicorn and earth pony’s eyes met, and they raised their cupcakes as if raising glasses for a toast, then downed them simultaneously with Fuchsia’s signature, violent method. Apparently, though, there was more to it than there looked, as Walker succeeded in smashing half the cupcake against her face, resulting in a ridiculous-looking frosting mess splattered across her mouth and chin, and even reaching her left eye.

Walker couldn’t help but giggle absurdly at herself, so involuntarily amused by her own blunder that she didn’t even jump when she felt Fuchsia’s face against hers. More particularly, she felt Fuchsia’s lips, lapping at the mess. Before pulling away for good, she felt those lips actually suck on her hair, the earth pony’s tongue reaching out to extract as much of the frosting from Walker’s white coat as possible.

There was a moment in which the two mares remained silently face-to-face, Walker with a dumbfounded, wide-eyed stare, and Fuchsia with her signature full-on grin, even wider than usual, to the point of being mildly unsettling. “What,” Walker said, staring back at the wide eyes that seemed to fill her entire field of vision. “Err.”

Her eloquence was met by another fluttering of eyelashes and then a sudden assault on her lips as Fuchsia leaned forward to give her a proper kiss, one with fire worthy of the chaos crowning Fuchsia’s head and neck. It wasn’t an aggressive kiss exactly, more of an excited one, Fuchsia exploring and probing with lips and tongue that were an extension of her always sunny attitude. Even the normally subdued Walker couldn’t help but return at least a little of the enthusiasm. It was as if Fuchsia had some magical ability to warm her entire body through her mouth, as she was overcome by an electric, almost ticklish sensation. “Ahh,” Walker breathed once they separated. After catching her breath, again: “...Ahh-h.”

Fuchsia suddenly pulled back, slipping out of her seat and into the walkway again, bouncing just slightly. At this point, the entire patronage of the bakery was either staring or pointedly not staring. “We can come back for the cupcakes in a little bit,” she said, motioning for Walker to follow her. “I want to show you how I make the special ingredient for the filling! C’mon, c’mon, this’ll be lots of fun~”

Some part of Walker’s mind still clung to the Shadowrunner mindset even as she absentmindedly nuzzled Fuchsia’s crimson mane. She was clearly intoxicated somehow; there had been some kind of drug in the cupcakes! That was what was inducing this lovely, implicit trust... That was why she wanted nothing more than to find a nice, quiet corner in which to curl up with Fuchsia. Her mane smelled like fresh-baked cookies and the warmth radiating from her body was somehow soothing in a way Walker had forgotten about after so long in the grimy, dangerous under-city.

Fuchsia led Walker back past the counter and through the busy kitchen, past employees who stared only briefly before quickly going back to their jobs. “I rent a room from the owner of the store,” she said, leading Walker through a swinging door and up a short flight of stairs. “She used to live here herself, but I guess she must have moved on to bigger and better things or something, because she seemed really eager to offer to let me live here, I mean I guess I’m sort of her assistant manager or something, even though I don’t really have any title like that...”

“Here we go! This is my house. Sorta. It’s not really a house, but it’s where I live, so that pretty much makes it my house, I think.” Walker reluctantly unburied her face from Fuchsia’s crimson mane to get a proper look at where she was. Fuchsia’s room was as chaotic as everything else about its owner, from the vests and capes strewn about the floor to the gaudy posters and photographs papering the walls. There wasn’t even any rhyme or reason to the posters; everything from pictures of pop singers to what looked like fantasy art and reproductions of old maps was on display. There were even some old black-and-white photographs that didn’t look like copies. In the corner of the room, next to the bed and the nightstand, was a refrigerator and a helium tank. Really? A helium tank?

Fuchsia broke away from her guest and trotted over to the corner, but it wasn’t the tank she wanted, it was the fridge. “Here, look!” She said to Walker, opening it with her nose. Walker followed, noting to herself that she was still steady on her feet-- Good. Before she made it to the fridge, Fuchsia was holding a sealed jar that was half-full of that mysterious pink slime between her two front hooves. “It’s kind of hard to get it into the jar without making a really really gross mess, but--” She hurriedly put the jar back and kicked the fridge shut, then leaned forward to nuzzle Walker briefly on the neck, with incendiary results. Walker openly shuddered to the glorious warmth and energy from Fuchsia’s body, even though it had been such a simple gesture. “--It’s totally worth it, right? Right?”

At first, the pale unicorn could only whimper in response. “Thought... you were going to... to show me where it was from,” she stammered once she could talk again. She was starting to get an idea of what kind of chemical was in her system. “Listen, I’d really like to know what I ate...”

“You ate a cupcake, silly! Three, actuall- Ooh! I get it.” Fuchsia’s expression softened momentarily, then broke back into a laughing smile. “No, you silly filly, don’t worry, I didn’t poison you or anything-- what kind of dummy would make poison cupcakes? This stuff makes fun cupcakes, not death cupcakes! There’s a reason I ate exactly as many cupcakes as you. And that’s why I had to make sure you had more than one, too! Just one would’ve been booooo-ring!”

“But... but what was--”

“Don’t worry! It’s all natural.” With these words, Fuchsia sat on her bed with her legs hanging off the side, like a bipedal creature sitting on a chair. “I have to be sitting to show you. Come!” It wasn’t a command; she said it like it was obvious, and motioned with her nose towards the ground in front of her. Walker obeyed. She was still confused, but only for a few more seconds. As soon as she was in front of Fuchsia, whose hind legs were already splayed wide, she understood everything. In front of Walker’s face was a radical, extreme, unheard-of case of vagina gustata.

Or to use the common term-- Fuchsia had the most outrageously saccharine candyvag Walker had ever seen, and there could be no further doubt of where the mysterious pink cupcake filling had come from. Some ponies were given wings by the Awakening; others found themselves with unicorn horns; Fuchsia had, it seemed, been gifted with a vagina that oozed candy.

Completely unperturbed by the fact that she was being watched, Fuchsia lightly licked her left hoof and started to gently clop at her already protruding nub with practiced precision. Walker just sat wide-eyed, watching the ‘demonstration.’ For all the intense sensations Walker had felt thanks to the aphrodisiac, Fuchsia had been feeling the same, and hiding them well until now. The autumn-colored earth pony’s bright pink pussy had already been swollen and moist before she’d even started on herself, and now that she had, the entire room seemed to be full of that heavy, syrupy scent from before. It was intoxicating. Within mere moments, Fuchsia was wet enough so that she was in danger of staining her bedsheets with bright pink syrup.

“Well?” Fuchsia piped up with an impossibly innocent tone, bracing herself with her forehooves as she leaned back to fully expose herself, “Don’t you want a taste?” Walker couldn’t even begin to deny it: She did. She wanted to drink from Fuchsia’s pussy, to put a dab of frosting on her hostess’ sex and have a repeat of the cupcake accident from earlier. Walker leaned forward, looking up into Fuchsia’s eyes for permission.

“Ooh, hurry!” Fuchsia answered excitedly, sliding forward slightly, offering herself. “Lick it up before it makes a mess!” Immediately, Walker dragged her tongue along Fuchsia’s bubblegum-colored slit from the very bottom all the way to her nub, and the taste was unbelievable. It wasn’t the cupcake filling taste; it was the perfect candy, so powerful she could feel it in her sinuses, but not so sweet that it became unpleasant. It made her want more. Fuchsia moaned scandalously as Walker lapped up her fill. After only a few cycles of running her tongue thoroughly over Fuchsia’s soft pussy, there was only a faint flavor left, so Walker pressed her snout forward, probing with tongue and mouth as if passionately kissing Fuchsia’s lower lips.

The location of Fuchsia’s ‘house’ was quite fortunate. Between the seating area and her bed was a stairwell and a busy kitchen, so the only ones likely to hear what was going on (and the something that was going on was nothing if not audible) were the dishwashers in the back. The white cupcake box would sit on the table unattended for quite some time, untouched by either staff or customers.

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On her way home, her horn glowing a faint red as it supported the weight of a half-full cake box, Walker’s expression was determined; a harder-set stare than her usual apathetic one. She was a mess after the afternoon’s activities, of course, but not very much more than usual. And she had come away with something more than just a fun memory: She had something fun to study up on.

Vagina Gustata. From the Latin for taste. A new phenomenon, presumed to be analogous to other physical irregularities displayed by post-Awakening pony bodies.It didn’t seem to have any effect on normal functioning of the female anatomy, the health issues were few, and the excretions despite being magical had no known power except those that could be attributed to the chemical properties. Thus, physicians had largely ignored it, leaving it to biologists and magical theorists. Well, not this physician. Not any more. Call it professional curiosity.