The Early Bird

by Aurora Aura

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1023

My attempt at recreating Abbot and Costello's various bits. Though in its heart it's simply a random short with Clueless Pinkie Pie

Pinkie Pie can be very clueless and Twilight can be over analytical.

But what else is new?

My attempt at recreating the feeling of one of Abbot and Costello's various bits.
~~~~~~~
note- Thank you to MonsterAddict for proofreading this for me

Published 2013-07-25 07:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-25 07:50:01 UTC

Chapter 1

Twilight Sparkle sat in sugar cube corner as she waited for her order to be completed. Owlowiscious' birthday was soon, and Twilight had ordered a custom cake for the occasion. Pinkie Pie was keeping her company in the Cake's lounge, and the two were happily passing the time as they talked with each other.

"So Twilight, why did you come over so early anyway?" Pinkie Pie asked. "I mean you were like two hours early!"

"Well you know what they say Pinkie Pie, the early bird catches the worm."

"The early bird catches what worm?" Questioned Pinkie Pie.

Twilight blinked in response, unsure how to respond to her friend. "Why, I guess any worm really…" Twilight responded.

"Well, who cares about that Twilight?" Asked Pinkie Pie. Her tone almost making Twilight rethink what she said. Almost.

Again, all Twilight could do was blink in silence. This wasn't unusual behavior for her friend but Twilight was starting to wonder if Pinkie did this kind of stuff on purpose. "Everypony knows that the early bird catches the worm," Twilight said as she tried to retain some sense of composure.

Pinkie Pie looked towards to Twilight. "Well, what of it? What about it?" Pinkie Pie seemed genuinely confused by such a simple saying and it amazed Twilight how ignorant Pinkie could be.

"He catches it, that's all!" Twilight said, waving her hoofs slightly. Her voice now starting to rise in volume.

"Well, let him have it," Pinkie Pie said. "Who wants a worm anyhow? What's his idea in catching the worm?"

"He catches the worm because he wants it," Twilight told Pinkie Pie.

"Well what does he want with it?" Asked Pinkie.

"How the hay do I know what he wants with it‽" Twilight was nearly shouting now. Pinkie just kept that same clueless expression she was wearing when they had begun.

"Well if you don't know what he wants with it, then how do you know that he wants the worm in the first place?" Asked Pinkie Pie.

"Well why else would he catch it if he didn't want it for some reason?" Twilight shot back with a hint of anger.

"Well why is the worm there anyway?"

"What?" Asked Twilight, unsure she had heard Pinkie's question correctly.

"Yeah, why is the worm there if the early bird is going to come and take him away?" Asked Pinkie Pie.

"The worm lives there." Responded Twilight.

"He lives where?"

"He lives where he is." Twilight said, growing ever impatient with her friend.

"But I don't even know where he is Twilight! I don't know that!" Pinkie Pie told Twilight. Twilight let out a sigh, and tried somewhat to make it simple for her naïve friend.

"He is at his home Pinkie, that is where he is."

"Let's forget about the worm Twilight." Pinkie offered.

"Agreed!" Twilight said, nodding her head a little to anxious. Twilight’s sanity began to slip back into existence.

"But I still want to talk about the early bird. I mean, which bird is the early bird? How do you know that the bird is early?"

Twilight brought her hoof up to her face in an audible clap. Twilight slowly slid her hoof off her face before responding.

"The bird that gets there first is the early bird. Does that make sense Pinkie Pie?"

"Well sure, but why is that the first bird there? What causes it?"

"Because he's the first bird there…" Twilight said, trying to keep a steady tone.

"Yeah well, suppose some other bird got there before the early bird?" Asked Pinkie Pie.

Twilight just stared at Pinkie Pie, trying to figure out if her friend was joking or if she genuinely was just that clueless. "Well then I guess that bird is the early bird then, isn't it?"

"But-" Pinkie Pie was cut off by Twilight.

"Look, can we just forget I said anything?" Asked Twilight.

"Sure thing Twilight." Pinkie responded with a happy smile on her face that made Twilight think she had been acting that way intentionally.

There was a moment of awkward silence that Pinkie Pie was the first to break.

"Hey Twilight, I almost forgot I got you some gifts!"

"You did?" Twilight inquired.

"Uh-huh, I know it's Owlowiscious' birthday and all, but I remembered what you were saying the last week, so I got you the last ten pages of the third Daring Do book and-"

Again, Pinkie Pie was cut off by Twilight.

"The last ten pages?" Asked Twilight, one eye beginning to twitch.

"Yup." Pinkie Pie responded as she pulled out a two stacks of papers from seemingly nowhere. "I also got you the last twenty pages to that biography of Star Swirl the Bearded."

Twilight's jaw dropped, and she was barely able to allow the word "why?" to escape her mouth.

"Because last week you were talking about how you needed some more book ends for the library, so I thought I'd help you out. So I tore the ends out of two books!" Pinkie said, beaming a smile as she held out the two stacks of papers.

Twilight took a moment to collect herself, before finally looking at the two stacks, and saying with a mixture of confusion and awe. "I genuinely don't know what to say Pinkie Pie..."

Mrs. Cake walked in with a medium sized box and looked at Twilight. "Sorry it took so long dear; we were just putting on some finishing touches."

Twilight turned to face Mrs. Cake.

"Thank you very much, I'll just take it and be going now." Twilight said as she walked over to the door, pulling the cake into her magical grasp and setting it on her back. Twilight really liked Pinkie Pie, but sometimes she was just a little too much to be around, and Twilight wasn't sure her brain would be able to handle another minute with the bits of desecrated books.

Before Pinkie could say anything, Twilight was out the door.

"Oh shoot, Twilight forgot her book ends. Oh well, I'll just bring them over later!" Pinkie said as she merrily bounced up to her room.