A Lost Soul Hidden in Unexpected Places

by Broniesrponies2

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Human, Anthro, Lyra, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Octavia, Bon-Bon
Length: 15260

The main character is based on me. He dies and then goes to Equestria as opposed to heaven or hell. Meanwhile DEATH (essentially the grim reaper) must search through the multiverse to find me.

I die and then my soul goes to Equestria. DEATH stalks the multiverse looking for me. Fun happens in the parallel universes that DEATH wanders through. In the meantime, I have to work my way through Equestrian life. I promise not to make it boring. As this is my first anthro fic and my first HIE fic, give me some time and a little bit of guidance. I hope that you can all sit back and enjoy the fic.

Published 2013-07-25 18:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-28 05:15:05 UTC

What the hell?

I was walking down the street, the rain falling on my head. The occasional piece of hail bounced off of it as well. I wandered my way towards the Tim Hortons where I was planning on grabbing a coffee before heading back to MSS.

"Hey, Dustin." called my friend Mitch from beside me.

"What?" asked Dustin grumpily. He had his hands in his pockets as he walked on my other side.

"Cloud r34." said Mitch, ruining Final Fantasy 7 in Dustin's mind forever as he pictured it.

"Hey Mitch," he said back.

"Yeah."

"Fuck you." Dustin hitched up his sweater and pulled his hood over his head. I grinned a little inside, but didn't openly laugh. This had happened to frequently. It was especially bad when the wiggles had been mentioned. I sighed looked up. Thin black streaks seemed to be moving through the clouds. Suddenly, a shiny body dropped below the cloud layer and seemed to disappear for an instant before reappearing a little to its front. Something else was falling from the sky. Something big. Another darting body dropped out of the clouds and landed on top of the falling object.

"Hey guys what's-" then I dove forward trying to get out of the path of the huge piece of ice. I figured that the dive would be enough, but looked up to see a flying fish push the ice, defying the laws of physics. The trajectory of the ice changed and it headed straight for me again.

"Bullshi-" I began to say as the two foot wide hailstone dropped onto my head at terminal velocity. I stood up, realized that it didn't hurt, realized the implications of the lack of pain and looked at a spreading red mess where my head used to be. I looked around, waiting for whatever would happen next. A black robe began to form from nowhere, but before it could fully materialize, I disappeared.

I woke up, my head pounding and a craving for banana chip cookies in my mouth. I looked up to see two pastel coloured young women. One was a bright sky blue with rainbow hair styled faintly tomboyishly. The other was a pleasant yellow with pink bangs draped across her face hiding one of her eyes. Their skin appeared textured oddly, and with a sudden shock, I realized that their faces were covered with fur. I back felt a little bit weird and I tried to adjust my body weight. Suddenly, both of the girls' faces turned to those of sudden fear. I instantly stopped moving and their faces settled back to normal. I looked past their faces to see two pairs of beautiful wings, coloured like their owners. Only then did my thoughts return.

I can't feel anything except for four points of contact on my back. Ergo, I am in the air being held by these two whatever they ares. Okay, first things first.

"Are you angels?" I asked, his voice coming out a little bit feebly.

The cyan one chuckled a little bit, then she spoke in a voice that was all too familiar.

"No we aren't angels. We're pegasi. The question is, what are you?"

"No way."

"Bu-

"I know, but there is absolutely no way that this is real."

"It is real trust me."

"No, it is not. And I can prove it."

"How?"

"Well for starters, I know your name."

"What?"

"I know your name Rainbow Dash. And yours too Fluttershy."

The yellow girls hands flew to her mouth and I spun out of Rainbow Dash's hands. The ground was a long long way down. It was getting closer though. I flipped onto my stomach and assumed the position that would present the most resistance, arms and legs outstretched, hands out, fingers splayed. I lifted my stomach to provide just a touch more resistance. The two girls dropped past me and slowed to my speed. Just as they were about to catch me, I slipped myself to vertical, bringing my legs together and allowing them to drop. Rainbow and Fluttershy caught me just as I hit the vertical by hooking their arms under mine. I brought my legs up and they shifted a hand each to hold under my knees. I reached an arm around their shoulders, one per girl.

"So how do you know our names? We have never met you." asked Rainbow Dash.

"You wouldn't believe me."

"I would. I just wouldn't trust you."

"Wanna bet?"

"I bet you fifty bits."

"Ok, you're on. I am from another dimension. I recently died there and came here."

"That doesn't explain why you know our names."

"I'm getting to that. Do you understand the multiple dimension thing yet though?"

"Yes"

"Good. Well, in my dimension, we have a television show called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. You and your friends are the stars, except in the show, you look like small horses as opposed to attractive young girls. Hasbro once made a movie where you were anthropomorphized and you all looked anorexic. That is why I didn't immediately recognize you. I know about Equestria, the Elements of Harmony, You two, Rarity's boutique, Twilight's library and that she is a student to Princess Celestia, the battle with Nightmare Moon, who is now Princess Luna, Applejack's farm, and Pinkie Pie's -" I paused there, looking for a word.

"Yeah, her Pinkie Pieness." Rainbow supplied.

"So, do you believe me?"

"No."

"So, you owe me fifty bits. And, I will need to find a source of income."

We reached the ground and the two pegasi let go of my legs as I stood up. Rainbow frowned at me.

"Were you making all of that up?"

"If I was then tell me this. How did I manage to get several thousand feet into the sky without wings?"

"I don't know." she admitted, her eyes downcast.

"Look, so far today, I have died and I would have died again." As I began to say it, tears began to fill both of their eyes. I felt tears begin to well up in my own eyes as well. I drew them close for a long hug.

"I can touch, that means that here at least, I'm not dead. Thanks to you two." Tears began to dampen my shirt as they cried onto my shoulders.

"Calm down, calm down. Come on, let's find somewhere to sit." We appeared to be on a street, so I asked a passerby which way to the park. I kept the two girls close as we headed down the street and as we arrived at the park, we all sat down on a bench. They both leaned on my shoulders as the tears kept rolling.

"Hey, calm down." I said to them soothingly. "It was me who nearly died. And it didn't happed again today, all thanks to you two."

Rainbow Dash sniffed, then looked up at me.

"But you died. You have actually died, and now you're here forever and your family will be sad and-" I cut her off with a kiss to the forehead.

"I was still in school. My immediate family will mourn, but I was always different from them and always wanted to be alone. They will be hit hard by it for a while, but later they will get over me. Whatever happens, we can't speak to them. If I go back to my world, I will die and stay dead. I will never know what happens to them so there is no point in worrying about it. Cheer up. Come on, you need to introduce me to all the others. I am sure that Twilight will be fascinated with me and that Pinkie will want to throw a party. Best to leave out my actual circumstances until after that though. Look on the bright side, I can attend my own wake if we do it here."

The gallows humour shook Rainbow, while Fluttershy seemed to simply be unable to cry anymore. Rainbow began to chuckle a little at my dry jokes.

"I suppose that its for the best." Rainbow said. Impulsively, she hugged me again before getting up off of the bench. She reached down and pulled Fluttershy up too. I stood up myself and together we began to walk to the library.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back on Earth...

DEATH looked down at the lifeless body. He looked around, trying to locate the soul. Searching with his mind, he couldn't find it. Instead, he found a small crack in reality. DEATH poked into it with his scythe and tore it open a little more. He pulled back his cowl to reveal a grinning skull.

"I'M COMING FOR YOU." he said in a voice like the noises of a crypt. He stepped through the gap and disappeared.

Author's Note

I got most of the way through this before realizing that it was in first person. As a result, I kept it that way. Sorry everyone. As for the whole two people who voted for the story to work this way, I know that you wanted it in Canterlot, just give me a little bit of time to get there. It should happen next chapter. Also, Lyra and Bon Bon will be prominent characters in the fic because of Lyra. The main pairing is a tie between Lyra, Octavia and Luna. Let me know if you want any specific one. This first chapter was serious and yet not serious, it had a lot of dark humour in it, but some lighter toned fun is on the way. I do have to get past all of the serious stuff first though.
This is my first anthro fic. Let me know if there is anything at all that you like/dislike about it.
I just want to let you all know that it has been a pleasure entertaining you and happy reading.

Pinkie Party AHOY!

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash brought me to the library to meet their friends. Strictly speaking, Rainbow Dash flew off to tell everyone while Fluttershy was left to guide me, but we got there. I opened the door of the Library to find a surprise party waiting. In the show, no one ever questions how Pinkie Pie can do this, but it is a whole lot weirder when it is actually happening to you. Fluttershy opened the door for me and I stepped through. It was dark, so I knew what was coming. It was kind of obvious because you actually have to try and get somewhere to be dark during the day time.

"Surprise!" yelled everypony, instantly deafening me temporarily. I gritted my teeth and bore it and it wasn't long before the mingling started. Vinyl hadn't had time to drop by and set up her turntable, so we made do with a small stereo system. I managed to extract myself from a bunch of curious ponies and began to walk towards a table to get some punch. It really is rather tame for a Pinkie Party. Maybe- and I got bowled over by a certain mint green unicorn.

"You're a human? Is it really true? And you know our names? How? Tell me tell me tellmetellmetellme."

"Calm down Lyra," I said, pushing the rather attractive teenager off to the side as politely as possible. She squealed and put her hands to her mouth as I said her name. "Come with me to get some punch."

"Yes!" she replied breathlessly. Apparently, the human fetish that she had was true, but since everyone had hands, at least she wasn't gawking at mine. It occurred to me that it would have been rather difficult to have held a conversation with her had she been bent over and messing with my fingers. Instead she was staring at my furless face. I chuckled slightly at the thought of how out conversation could have gone.

"What's funny?" she asked curiously, noticing the smile immediately.

"Well," I began, "I assume that you heard from Rainbow how I got here and how I know about you?"

"Yes," she said impatiently.

"In the TV show My Little Pony fandom, you are featured as having a human fetish, usually because of human hands. I think that it is interesting that you still have the fetish here. But what I was smiling at is the thought of a conversation with you while you are ogling my wiggling fingers."

She thought about it and pictured it. Then she giggled a little bit as we arrived at the food table. I poured us two cups of punch as Rainbow Dash walked up to us through the press of ponies.

"Come here. You need to meet Twilight and the others." she said and grabbed my hand dragging me away from the food table, Lyra latched onto my other wrist, determined not to let me out of her sight. We followed Rainbow through the tiny gaps between mares and stallions before popping out into a small clearing that contained Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, all standing in a semi circle. Twilight stepped forward as Rainbow stood a little off to the side, Lyra standing beside me, still not letting go of my wrist.

"Hello, I am Twilight Sparkle. But Rainbow says that you already know that." I nodded. "What's your name?"

"I'm Josh. My last name is a little irrelevant at this point, wouldn't you say?"

"I suppose that is true. We have to take you to Canterlot to introduce you to the Princesses. They get to decide whether you get to stay in Equestria after all. We will be leaving tomorrow morning. Do you have a place to stay for the night?"

Lyra jumped in at that point. "He can stay at my house, I have a spare room."

I looked at her, surprised. "I thought that you lived with Bon Bon," I said, turning to look at her.

"I used to," she said, looking at the floor. "But she finished studying under the cakes and left for Canterlot again. Please, just come spend the night with me. Tell me about your world."

"I guess that its okay," I said cautiously. So, in this universe, she is straight, still has the human fetish and emotionally downcast at the moment because her roommate departed. Warning! Warning! "Just, make sure that you don't do anything that you will regret later."

"Really?" she asked incredulously, her eyes widening.

"Yes," I replied, noticing the slightly worried looks on the faces of the mane six.

"Well then, that's settled. Lyra, you can come with us to Canterlot if you want, so let Josh sleep tonight. You can ask him all of the questions that I know that you will want to ask on the train." interjected Twilight.

"Fine," replied Lyra, eyes downcast again.

I looked towards the stereo, wondering if there was any music that I could play that I would know. Right now, a recording of "Winter Wrap Up" was playing and it didn't seem like the right thing for a party. I reached into my pockets. I'd had my ipod and android phone on me when I died so maybe...nope. Apparently the multiverse favoured modesty and let you keep your clothes, but not your personal devices. Twilight looked at me curiously.

"What are you looking for?"

"Oh, just some stuff that I had with me when I-" I paused. "Came here," I finished.

"What were you about to say?" she asked, still looking at me. "Well, if you had it when you came here then we can just go look for it."

"I don't think that that's possible. Umm." I looked down at Lyra. "It's kind of been a long day for me. Do you mind if we go back to your house and go to sleep?" The party was beginning to wrap up anyway. The blinds had been opened on the windows when the party had started, but now they were open and starting to reveal stars.

"It's a little early, but ok." she said. She took my arm and began to walk us through the crowd of ponies towards the door. Rainbow caught up to us just as we got there and stopped me.

"Should I tell the others about how you got here or should I leave it for the morning?" she asked in a whisper.

"Tell them about it tonight, but make sure that they don't go to bed upset." I replied. Lyra turned to us.

"What was that about?" she asked as Rainbow slipped back through the slightly thinned crowd.

"How I got here. Its a little bit painful to hear. I told Rainbow to tell the others now so I can tell you when we get to your house."

"Will it have to wait?" she asked. I looked around at the happy ponies all around me.

"Yes."

"Fine then." she replied, a curious note in her voice that sounded a little bit like impatience and worry. We walked to her house in silence, taking a route that led us past the park. Eventually, we arrived at her house and she opened the door for me to walk in. The entrance hall looked plain enough. A few sketches of cars were sitting on a desk in the corner. The lighting gave a happy tone, coming from a pair of lovely chandeliers. She didn't bother with a proper tour. As we walked in, she pointed out the bathroom and we walked into the living room. We sat down on a couch and she turned to look at me.

"So, how did you get here?" she asked, not wanting to waste any time.

"Its pretty awful. brace yourself."

"I can take it."

"I died." Lyra froze.

"What? How?"

"A two foot wide chunk of ice fell on my head at terminal velocity."

"Where were you?"

"A street, in the autumn. I was walking to get a coffee with some friends when a flying fish directed the lump of ice straight onto my head." She looked thoroughly confused now.

"Wait, so in your world fish can fly?"

"Normally, fish just glide after hopping out of the water and we call it flying. These were different. They were flying through the air independently."

"And they maliciously killed you with a piece of ice?"

"Yes."

"That's awful."

"I know. I was there."

"But now your family is alone and-" I listened to her, watching as the tears filled up her eyes. She leant forwards, putting her head on my shoulder. I shushed her, calmed her down. Eventually, she led me upstairs where she walked towards her room. As we arrived there, she pointed to the room across the hall and told me to sleep there. I had no clothes, other than what I arrived in. It's lucky that Rainbow owes me those fifty bits, I thought as the cotton wool descended over my thoughts. Otherwise, I might be in trouble.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a parallel universe where squids are the dominant species and humans are their slaves...

DEATH appeared atop his white horse. A massive cityscape greeted them. He clicked his teeth and the horse rode forwards. Passing through massive towers that all contained water pumped from a nearby ocean, he worked his way towards the unmistakeable sound of a bar brawl. Tentacles flew and ichor coloured the water as the squids did battle with switchblades and broken bottles. DEATH worked his way over to a figure standing in the corner. It was also in black, but rode a white human and held a trident.

HAVE YOU SEEN ANY ODD LOOKING HUMANS AROUND? DEATH asked.

NO, replied the other DEATH of squids.

OK, HE MUST HAVE POPPED UP SOMEWHERE ELSE THEN

WHAT HAPPENED?

FREAK ACCIDENT INVOLVING IMPOSSIBLE FISH AND A WORLD RECORD HAILSTONE.

OH, BEST OF LUCK THEN. I WLII CONTACT YOU IF HE COMES THROUGH.

DEATH nodded and did the familiar action of ripping a hole in the space time continuum. Widening it slightly for his horse, he rode through. The rift disappeared behind him with a pop.

Author's Note

Took me a fair while to write this and ended up being longer than I intended. Not to worry though, updates will not be any slower because of this. It is still possible to vote on pairings. Lyra is there and enthusiastic so just put the pony in below and I will consider the possibility. Sorry about the lack of anthro pony descriptions. It just isn't really in my style to describe seen characters, new body or old. As long as you get the gist. They are all wearing clothes by the way. This isn't erotic pornography. Not yet anyway. And I expect to keep it that way for some time.
Anyway, for now, It has been a pleasure entertaining you and happy reading.

Interrogation time

I met Twilight and the rest of the mane six at the train station. A sleepy looking Lyra in tow. We got there just before the train was ready to go. Fortunately, Twilight had paid for mine and Lyra's tickets. We managed to get aboard before the train left and I was greeted aboard the rail car by a sobbing Pinkie. It was semi expected, but still came as a surprise. Tears literally flew from her eyes like they were from a hose. The rest of the mane six just looked on. Presently, she was gargling out something about how I was a poor, poor stallion who had felt death's embrace. I accepted it. She was Pinkie Pie. She happened. I had watched the show and I knew how to deal with it.

"So, what did everypony have for breakfast?" I asked.

"French toast." said Twilight, a weird look on her face.

"Waffles." said Rarity.

"WAAAAAAFFFFFLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!" shouted Pinkie Pie, switching from hosepipe tears to full on happy in an instant. It was an endearing trait, not so much when it went the other way though. Rainbow understood what I had been doing and grinned. The others were a little slower on the update, but laughter reigned soon. It died down, as laughter does and Twilight got us ready for the questions about Earth. We sat down in two booths, next to one another across the aisle. Twilight sat across from me with Rainbow on her right. I had Lyra to my right. Across the aisle, Rarity and Fluttershy were sitting to my left with Applejack and Pinkie across from them.

"So, what do you want to know about humans?" I asked, directing my question to the middle of our group.

"What was your planet like?" asked Twilight. The rest of the ponies looked at her strangely, but I understood.

"A description of Earth gives the environment in which we live. I can describe the effects on the ecology and what impacts it has on our civilization," I explained.

"Exactly," Twilight said.

"Well, it started off beautiful," I began sadly. "We squandered the resources with wars and industry. I can only thank Celestia that Equestria hasn't been industrialized. It is a perfect way to kill ecosystems. What we started was irreversible. We had no control over the weather and many things existed with the capability and sometimes the desire to kill us. I never blamed them."

"Can you really despise your own species that much?" asked Lyra, shocked at the explanation of my home.

"We were terrible in any significant numbers. Put three humans in a room and give them whatever they want and they will eventually start to fight, if only from boredom. Individually though? Am I that bad? Most people are fine when met alone, or if you can catch the prejudices before they develop. As a race, we destroyed. As individuals, we were fine though."

"That is so confusing." said Pinkie, tilting her head to the side.

"It is I suppose. To be perfectly honest, I think that a good few people feel that way. We know what we are like and we are constantly fighting it. When I left, the leader of the nation to the south of mine was implementing a ton of systems that would reduce the ecological impact of the entire nation. It was too little too late to be honest, but the thought counted."

"What is wrong with your people?" asked Rainbow indignantly.

"Too many things. We have no control over our environment really. Diseases crop up and kill people. We fight them off. Animals attack. We teach each other how to prevent attacks. Cause and effect. You learn to accept it. We are insane as a species. Do you mind if we turned it to something less depressing?"

"Go ahead. What do you suggest?" asked Twilight, wondering what I could come up with.

"Well first of all was transportation and communications. You have trains, we had airplanes."

"What is an airplane?" asked Rainbow eagerly.

"It is a machine that allows humans to fly thousands of kilometers in just a few hours. They reach incredible speeds and fly at impossible heights."

"Awesome!" said Rainbow.

"We also had helicopters. They fly at lower speeds, but with far more control. I can draw one for you if you have a pencil of quill to hoof."

"Not right now. Maybe when we get to Canterlot. What else did you have?"

"Their were cars. Not everyone could own a helicopter or an airplane, but most people could own a car. It is a vehicle that is a little bit smaller than a cart. It is able to travel at over 100 kilometers per hour on a paved road."

"Wow." said Fluttershy.

"Our communications technology was pretty cool too. You can communicate through Spike's dragon magic, but we could do it with handheld machines. They were called phones. It would send a signal up to an artificial satellite in orbit around the planet. The satellite would then send the signal to wherever it needed to go."

"It sounds amazing." said Rarity.

"These advances all came from war. The only benefit." All of the ponies recoiled slightly from the word. "It was terrible, but it was life. Don't worry. It will not spread here. I am the only human and I never saw the benefit of fighting for no reason. Here, there is no reason." They seemed to relax a bit at those words.

The train arrived at Canterlot at that point. It wasn't a very long trip. When we arrived at the station, a carriage was waiting with a group of palace guards standing around it. Our route was obvious. We climbed into the carriage, me helping each of the girls in before climbing in behind. We kept quiet on our trip to the palace. Once we arrived, we stepped out, I lent a hand to each of the girls as they stepped out of the carriage. Princesses Celestia and Luna were standing at the top of the steps, beautiful in dresses appropriate to their respective duties. Celestia's gown was a beautiful golden colour while Luna's was a sparkling navy blue. I kept my head as I walked up the step, but only just.

"Welcome to Equestria." said Celestia, speaking directly to me. I knelt, my right knee behind me, left arm forward and at a right angle to my body resting on my left knee, my head bowed. She and Luna laughed a tinkling laugh that sounded girly.

"You have no need to do that Josh. Stand up and look at us." said Luna, kneeling down and touching my shoulder. She appeared the same age as me. It wasn't unexpected, she always appeared to be only a little bit older than the other ponies on the show, but it was pleasant. I looked up into her face that was only a few inches from mine. She studied my face and I could feel her in my mind. She let out a cry and threw her arms around me. I was confused, but I put my arms around her and we rose together, standing slowly. I could see Celestia's questioning look over her sister's shoulder. Luna let go suddenly and pulled away. I didn't resist.

"What did you see sister?" asked Celestia curiously.

"He is dead. He can never return home and his first experience in this world was to almost die again. His life before that was pleasant except for his own self hatred, for what he has done and has not done with himself." Luna explained.

"I can see how that is trying for you sister, but to lose your composure-"

"He simply accepts it. Whatever has happened to him in his life, he can simply accept it, no matter how bad things are. It is incredible, but it wrenches at my heart." Luna said, looking me in the eyes. I smiled back at her.

"We have a word on my planet. I don't know if it exists here. The word is karma. It means that over your entire life, for your good luck, you will have equal bad luck and vice versa. It is also affected by deeds. When you do good deeds, you have good luck. If you do bad deeds, you have bad luck. However nice I was, my luck was never good. Whatever I did for people, bad things tended to happen to me. And now I finally know why. I have never had good luck, because all of it was saved for now. I met you Luna, and you Celestia. And for this meeting, I would have gladly suffered a thousand times more."

I was looking directly into Luna's eyes. They were beautiful and they were staring straight into mine, tears shimmering in them. I could feel my own eyes begin to moisten. She had touched my mind and we both understood that what I had said was deeper than the words.

"Come inside." Luna said. "There we can discuss your living arrangements here in Equestria.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a universe where humans are made of licorice...

DEATH stepped through the hole in between the dimensions and stepped out onto a plain. There was a battle going on down below. It was fought with stone axes and shields bound with solid oak planks. DEATH walked up to his counterpart in this universe and prodded him on the shoulder. He turned around. His skull was a little bit different and his scythe was made of stone.

WHAT HAPPENED? WHY HAVEN'T THEY DISCOVERED FIRE YET?

THEY DID. THEY JUST MELT WHENEVER IT GETS ABOVE ABOUT 24 DEGREES.

The two anthropomorphic personifications laughed over the folly of humanity.

HAVE YOU SEEN A HUMAN PASS BY HERE?

JUST THESE ONES.

IF YOU SEE AN ODD ONE, WILL YOU LET ME KNOW PLEASE?

NO PROBLEM.

THANKS. GOOD LUCK ON HUMANITIES DEAD END.

They laughed again. The humans from the victorious village began to feast upon the sugary remains of their fallen foes. The carrion was coming in as well to share in the banquet. DEATH turned from the spectacle and opened his exit. The other DEATH strode onto the field and began to reap the harvest. Behind him, there was a small pop as the dimensional hole disappeared.

Author's Note

This is deep and has the kind of serious humour that makes England famous. It also has the more overt humour that other people prefer to use. I like the combination myself. I do really have luck that bad. My headset managed to get broken by me turning away from my laptop with the cord stretched across my lap. Somehow, it got caught on a hair or something and managed to rip out part of the USB connector. I couldn't fix it. 70$ plus tax down the drain. It sucked. I have the tendency to drop things for no real explicable reason and sometimes, things just go missing. Personally, I call bullshit, but the universe is an asshole and doesn't care so whatever. I learned to accept it though.

Anyway, it has been a pleasure entertaining you and happy reading.

To stay or not to stay in Canterlot

We followed the princesses into the palace through grand corridors. They brought us to a large dining room. We sat down and a butler in a tuxedo brought out a bottle of expensive looking wine. I eyed it, then looked at the general youthfulness of my companions from Ponyville. None of them looked over 17. That was probably their actual age come to think of it, the show never really said.

"Do you mind if I have a non-alcoholic beverage, your Highnesses?" I asked. Luna smiled, having recovered from her temporary, what? It wasn't a breakdown. It was just a bit of crying and a short melancholy. Nevertheless, she had recovered from it and seemed to genuinely like me. I found her glances a little unnerving, but I had learned not to show emotion after so long of hiding my inner feelings. She nodded and the butler stood at my shoulder.

"May I please have some milk?" I asked, shocking everyone in the room. I looked around the table. "What?" I asked as the butler nodded and walked away.

"It is an unusual request." said Luna. She had been in my mind and understood that I might ask for it. As such, she was more prepared than the rest. "Usually, ponies who come to Canterlot prefer to sample the vast array of cocktails, both alcoholic and non-alcoholic. We also have famous juices and smoothies. The regional specialty is a mango smoothie float. I do know that your show, while unspecific, did include some fine beverages. We are all just surprised that you would want such a plain drink." she explained.

"I am not usual, I think that much is safe to say. I also have had a preference for milk for many years. It was what I have been drinking since I was born. Experimenting with beverages is something that my sister would do. Right now, what I really need is a taste of home." I replied, watching my use of language.

"I think that we can understand that, now that we all know of your circumstances." said Celestia. The butler returned with my milk while another butler poured out the wine. I still eyed it a little furtively, especially as it disappeared into the mouths of my first Equestrian friends. Luna giggled, noticing my look. I smiled a little sheepishly, but I am who I am. Not averse to a good drink occasionally, but I prefer to regulate my own intake.

"Well, the first thing is, Josh, where would you like to stay?" asked Celestia, trying to bring our conversation to task.

"Would it be okay for me to stay in Canterlot?" I asked.

"Yes." said Luna before Celestia could open her mouth. Celestia frowned at her, but nodded her own assent. I looked over to Lyra, whose head had just hit the table with a thunk. Celestia looked over at her.

"Perhaps Lyra could stay in Canterlot as well in order to assist you in blending with Equestrian society." She said. Lyra's ears twitched. She lifted her head off of the table. I switched my gaze to Luna, quickly enough to see the huffy expression on her face, but only for an instant. She recovered herself quickly enough to speak.

"I will guide Josh and Lyra to where they will be staying. Sister, I am sure that you must speak to Twilight while she is here. We will leave you now." Luna said, a hint of coldness in her voice. I finished my milk quickly, watching the complex dance of wills.

"Very well Luna. You, Josh and Lyra may leave. Josh, I will expect to see both you and Lyra at the palace for dinner. I have no doubt that Luna will help to guide you." said Celestia, her eyes flicking to Luna. Luna looked back at her sister, her face impassive. Luna stood up, Lyra and I followed suit. We slowly filed out the door closing behind us as we started down the corridor.

"For now, you can both sleep in the rooms near mine. They have been empty since Shining Armour and Cadence left to stay in the Crystal Empire. Josh, you get the room directly adjacent to mine. Lyra, you get the next room after that." Said Luna, her voice, not angry or impatient, although such emotions seemed to radiate off of her. We stopped in the corridor to Luna's room and she pointed out Lyra's door and then mine. Lyra broke away to inspect her room. Luna and I both stepped into mine.

"Look, I know what you and your sister were arguing about." I started, catching Luna off balance. I continued. "And I know how you feel about her. Love is there, but there is still a wall between you. You know that I know the feeling. Personally, I prefer the night. It is quiet, soothing and there is a hidden beauty in the stars. Look at Celestia's dress compared to yours. A plain gold, against a perfect sparkling navy blue. White can wear any colour, but navy blue? It is hard to get something that works isn't it. I know it sounds like I am rambling a bit, but she wouldn't understand would she? She has never felt the same way. I am sorry to say this, as mild as it is, but it is still a barb. I just hope that my coming wouldn't drive a wedge between you two."

Luna looked at me, tears in her eyes again. She put her arms around me once more. I smiled, knowing that she understood my garbled message and returned the embrace. We let go at the perfect time. A short second later, Lyra burst in, gushing about the luxury of her room. Oh, it was amazing, it had a Jacuzzi, a shower, a bath, a king size bed, such a wonderful view, but OH MY GOSH I have nothing to wear, we have to go shopping, Luna could you take us, where are the best shops... There were no real pauses in her diatribe. We listened and nodded. She toned down as she looked at us.

"I would like to do some shopping, but I have no money. Nothing came with me when I arrived." I stated, looking at Luna. She smiled at me.

"Not to worry. The royal treasury is quite deep, we must of course get you a few outfits."

"Yeah, and we need to do it today." interjected Lyra.

"I can agree with that." I said. Luna could understand why.

We made our way out of the palace, carefully remembering the route, and headed out into Canterlot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a parallel world where War Of the Worlds actually happened

DEATH stalked the land, his thoughts of the past worrying him with apprehension of the future. Another DEATH tapped him on the shoulder.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? asked the first DEATH, walking over to another alien and picking it's soul.

I AM LOOKING FOR A HUMAN replied DEATH, leaning on his scythe.

ANY KIND SPECIFICALLY, OR DID ONE GET AWAY?

FREAK ACCIDENT.

INTERESTING.

INDEED. HOW IS BUSINESS HERE?

TOO BUSY. I AM THINKING OF TRADING IN MY SCYTHE FOR A COMBINE HARVESTER.

NEVER LOSE FAITH. IF THEY KEEP DYING SO FAST, EVENTUALLY THEY WILL RUN OUT.

NO WORRIES THERE.

LET ME KNOW IF YOU SEE ANYONE THAT YOU DON'T KNOW.

I WILL.

THANKS.

DEATH moved again through the dimensions.

Author's Note

Ooh, short chapter. Its early in the morning though. I love writing this story actually. By basing the character on myself, it gives me a few rules to follow. I am not allowed to research anything related to the story. All reactions are based around my actual reactions. Other such things are similarly derived. For example, while I was in England visiting relatives, we went to an "air kix" indoor skydiving center. I learned all of the information I used in the falling scene there. Some of it was just theory, but I understood it and did it pretty much by instinct. I could steer after the first session. Anyway, all other things are done similarly. Only experience that I actually have. I am not allowed to use anything that I have to look up, Whatever, you don't need to know the rules.
Anyway, it has been a pleasure entertaining you and happy reading.

How do I keep ending up writing shopping trips? And why do I love Asda so much?

Read the author's note first please.

To the chapter!

Luna guided us to the front gate. I looked at her as she took a backpack from a servant and put it on her own back, sliding her wings through the straps carefully. I felt a pained expression coming onto my face and stepped forwards.

"I may be a guest, but there is no way that I can let you carry things. You're a princess. Let me carry the shopping for you. Well, for me I guess." I looked down as I said "well" and looked up again after finishing the sentence. Luna giggled adorably. I have to say that it was hard to keep myself from impulsively hugging her. It was a close run thing. She loosened the straps and slid the pack from her shoulders. She tossed it over to me and I deftly unzipped the top, checking out the volume. It wasn't all that big. I thought back to camping trips during my time in the boy scouts. A bigger bag would be necessary for seven changes of clothes, which would be a bare minimum to survive with, plus pajamas, toothbrush, toothpaste, a wallet and a new pair of shoes. It occurred to me that I should probably get a more formal suit, but I hate to go full black tie.

We stepped out into the afternoon sunlight. Luna led the way, her hair glittering like a midnight sky. I came next, in the clothes that I came in from my universe, a black zip-up hoodie, a white shirt and dark cargo pants. It was a pretty typical getup for me, a nice balance of quiet style with a maximum of comfort and utility. It was an easy outfit to stroll around in. Not as good as a full hoodie with a frontal pouch, but close enough. Lyra came behind us in similar clothes, except she wore tight jeans as opposed to cargo pants. I was still carrying the backpack in my hand and flipped it onto my shoulder. We stood abreast at the top of the palace stairs. I stifled a laugh as Luna handed sunglasses to both Lyra and myself before we all put them on at once. It was like something out of a cheap movie.

I looked over to Luna who, in turn, looked over to Lyra. She smiled happily and started to walk forwards, beckoning to us to follow. Luna looked over to me and shrugged. I put a complex expression on my face like a sort of jokey half-frown thing that is pretty hard to describe. Luna laughed out loud and patted my cheek. I switched it to a grin and we headed off after Lyra. She lead us down vast promenades and through beautiful parks to-

"LYRA?"

It was Bon Bon. The cream coloured streak that came out of buttfuck nowhere and bowled over our mint green escort was Bon Bon. Who else could it have been? I was kind of surprised, and hoped to god that this would keep Lyra from looking sideways at me whenever she thought no one was looking.

"Oh my Celestia, Lyra! It is so good to see you! How long have you been in Canterlot?" Bon Bon was saying.

"We only got here at a little after lunch time." supplied Lyra, picking herself up. Bon Bon turned to look at Luna and I.

"Oh Celestia, YOU'RE WITH LUNA?" Bon Bon exclaimed. I looked at Luna, who was giggling behind her hand in a very genteel way.

"Yup, and-" Lyra started to say before Bon Bon cut her off.

"And who's the stallion. He looks a little weird, does he suffer from alopecia?" asked Bon Bon, looking at me critically.

"OH MY CELESTIA, BON BON! HE'S A HUMAN!" exclaimed Lyra, grasping her friend by the shoulders and shouting into her face.

"No way. A real, alive human. Your Highness, is this true?" asked Bon Bon.

"It is true." giggled Luna, amused by the hysterics of the two teenage girls.

"Perhaps you and Bon Bon might go to a café to catch up with each other." I suggested, eager to be as alone as one possibly can be on a crowded street with Luna. We had a lot to talk about. It would be better if nopony overheard, because they might not understand. Luna caught my meaning and passed Lyra what looked to be quite a lot of bits. I passed Lyra the backpack. Luna looked at me and I simply shrugged. She nodded and we said our goodbyes, inviting the two to come back to the palace for dinner. They ran off playfully, leaving Luna and I alone.

"Were you like that once?" I asked Luna, smiling gently.

"If I was, I don't remember it." said Luna sadly. "I don't like thinking back to before I became myself."

I understood what she was talking about.

"Don't worry. My memory is good, but only for the bad things. If I could stop myself from thinking about all of the times that I messed up-" I stopped, a long list of those times coming into my head. I felt Luna's light touch on my mind again and there was a feeling of a door shutting. The memories receded and I didn't particularly feel like going in search of them. Not very many were pleasant. A few had pleasant thoughts or feelings attached to them, but the memories themselves had been painful. I shifted my gaze from a cobblestone that I had been memorizing to Luna's face. I smiled.

"Do you think that we can make the age gap work?" I asked, a joking tone in my voice, but just a light one.

"Why, I would say that we were the same age. I look young for mine and you act so old for yours."

We embraced again. I knew something else as we stood there, receiving glances and the occasional stare. I knew that as long as I was with Luna, I could never stay unhappy. Slowly, we drew apart.

"Shopping?" I asked.

"Yes." she replied.

We walked down the street, side by side. I found that we were steadily shifting to be closer together. It wasn't just me, we were talking, discussing our dinner for tonight, Lyra and Bon Bon, small talk. I asked a little about my new home and she asked a lot about my old one. She was shocked at my descriptions of my species, but showed no distrust. She had been in my mind twice now and knew me better than anyone else. We arrived at Asda, which surprised me, but not a lot. I had wondered where Equestria would prove to be. I had assumed that since I was on North America when I departed, I would be on North America when I landed. Apparently not.

Walking through the doorway, we were greeted by beautiful cello music. I knew who it would be. I took Luna's hand in mine and gently guided her towards the sound. We arrived in a small area, like a town square, but inside the shop. It was the connector of four large aisles in front of the cash registers. Sitting on a stool was a grey mare, with a very familiar mane style. She had her eyes open and was looking down at her audience. Her eyes widened suddenly at the sight of Princess Luna with a stallion. She brought her song to a finish that, while certainly being too early, was toned perfectly to fit in with the theme of the piece. As she brought her bow to across it's final quivering chord, applause rose up from the crowd of shoppers below. Luna made to walk off in the direction of the shopping carts, but I held onto her hand.

She looked at me. I shut my eyes and shook my head. She gave me a questioning look. I tapped my temple with my other hand. I felt her touch on my mind again and this time, it stayed.

Why can't we go and get a cart?

Because Octavia is coming here to see you.

I noticed her glance, but wasn't her song simply completed, she may have somewhere else that she is going.

No, the finale came too quickly, there should have been at least a dozen more measures.

Ok, we can wait until-

"Your Highness" said a voice, cutting off our thoughts. It was unfamiliar, still cultured, but with the notable high Canterlot accent that I was beginning to recognize by its similarity to a high London accent. It could only have been Octavia. We turned towards her. Oh, dear god, she curtseyed. Luna and I managed to keep our faces impassive. It was a struggle for me, and I could tell that it was a struggle for Luna too because her shoulder was twitching with well suppressed laughter. Octavia straightened up and stepped forward.

"You really don't need to curtsey." said Luna, smiling at the grey mare. Octavia looked astonished, then looked at me. I nodded and smiled at her.

"Perhaps, if you have nothing pressing, you might like to come with us while we do some shopping. It would be good for me to get some Equestrian music to listen to. I happen to like classical music myself, perhaps you could help me with a selection." I suggested. Luna gave me an odd look, but I found her hand with mine and squeezed it. She squeezed back, giving me the benefit of the doubt.

"We will have to go and get clothing first. I will need a large backpack as well." I looked at Luna. She gave me a look that said as plainly as day that I had given the backpack to Lyra. I looked back at her.

"I am going to need at least a full weeks worth of clothes to start with. The backpack bestowed on Lyra was far too small for that. She can head back home to Ponyville and collect a few things. I also want to do some camping here. Back in my world, there were a lot of unsafe places, places that were polluted, places that one couldn't get to. Here though? I can hike almost anywhere. The only thing that I would really need for that is a backpack. A small one wouldn't work. I will need a big one with lots of straps that are good for carrying extra things. Tents, a sleeping bag, stuff like that. Then I can get away from the light pollution of a city."

"Light pollution?"

"It's a term from my home. City lights can be so bright that they can obscure a night sky. It's one of the attractions of camping. Actually, do you make an aurora borealis?"

"A what?"

Octavia stood in front of us. Listening to out conversation. Her simple fascination at the unspoken implications of my words. She listened as I described an aurora, then watched as we both stood silent for a moment as Luna carefully looked into my mind. She listened to Luna's crow of delight and her ears perked up.

"Umm, excuse me?" she said politely.

"Yess, sorry Octavia, got a little bit caught up in something that you will hear about in a more private place. Right now, lets get a trolley and a backpack and do some shopping."

I started to stroll through the thinning crowd towards the shopping carts. I was fairly confident that Luna would follow me because she was enjoying herself. Octavia would follow me because my implied comment was keeping her sails trimmed in my wind. I grabbed one of the carts and turned around. Sure enough, both of them had followed me. We headed to the bags area and I selected a decent looking camping backpack. It wasn't as good as a specialty pack from a sport shop, but it would do for me until it tore. We wandered around the mens clothes section, picking out shirts, pants and necessities. I grabbed a few navy blue and black button up shirts, a couple of hoodies. We stopped by in the toiletries aisle and I grabbed some of those too.

We headed to the checkout and Luna pulled a book from her pocket. She took out a card and put the book away.

"Credit card?" I asked, looking at it.

"What?" she asked, giving me a strange look.

"I guess not. What is it?"

"I'm royalty, I inscribe the amount on the card and they can trade it in at the royal bank."

"Useful, but not limitless."

"Just so you don't devalue the currency." I said.

We moved forwards to the checkout and passed through, Luna sorting out her card and inscribing the number on it with her magic. She handed the card to the clerk, who took it and put it into the register. the three of us walked out onto the street. I turned to the other two.

"Well, we are in the most private of places, we can talk as we go."

We started walking, Luna on my right, Octavia on my left. Luna asked me a very good question.

"How is this a private place? We are standing surrounded by people."

"Luna is right. How is this place private?"

"This is the one place that we can see everyone who is watching us. We can tell that they aren't listening. In a room with ten foot thick stone walls, there can still be someone right behind the door. Out here, no one is listening."

"That actually makes sense." said Octavia, looking past me at Luna. Luna nodded and then both of them turned to look at me, Octavia interested, Luna ready to hear it with her ears for the first time.

"Here is how it starts. I am not a pony. I am a human. My name is Josh by the way, pleased to meet you Octavia." I extended my hand, she took it tentatively. We shook. "Anyway, I am not from this planet, or even this universe. I am from a different dimension. I died before coming here. What you are actually seeing and interacting with is my disembodied soul. Given the circumstances, when I first showed up here at several thousand feet and was caught by two pegasi, I thought that I was in heaven. I knew I was in Equestria before I hit the ground. My planet had a television show called My Little Pony. It was meant to be a little girls show, but a lot of the people watching it were over 18 years old. I watched it and what was shown in the show is astonishingly similar to the reality here. My first experience on this planet was me almost dying from a many thousand foot drop. So, how was your day?"

"Do you really want to know? After all that, can you really care about my problems?"

"First of all, that sounded a little rude. Secondly," I turned towards Octavia and looked her in the eyes. She looked a little bit afraid, but her eyes didn't waiver. "Yes. Yes, I can care about your problems. I can care about them and worry about you more than you could imagine." I turned back to where we were going and saw the palace looming down the street. "Looks like we're almost back at the palace. Luna, would you mind terribly if Octavia stayed for dinner. Octavia, do you have anything pressing that you need to do this evening?"

"I don't mind if she joins us for dinner."

"I don't have any plans for this evening."

"Perfect. I need to get all of this squared away. I will also need a shower. I will wear something vaguely formal for this dinner, it being my first actual meal with the princesses. I may as well set a decent impression, although, I think that I may have already done so on Luna." I looked over to Luna. "I haven't been too disregarding of your status or feelings have I?" I asked, face and voice showing genuine worry. Her eyes widened and she shook her head.

"No, you have used a few weird words and phrases, but nothing disrespectful." I sighed, genuinely relieved. Her eyes never left my face as we walked up to the rooms in the Lunar tower that Lyra, Luna and I were to be staying in. We heard voices from Lyra's room as we passed and I knocked gently on the door.

"Y-yes?" asked a rather embarrassed sounding Lyra voice from the other side.

"I can hear that it would be inadvisable for us to enter, have you completed your shopping.

"Umm, yes. I was just trying some things on with Bon Bon." came her voice.

"Ahh." I turned to Luna. "Another to dinner, your Highness?" I asked.

"Of course. And please, just call me Luna." she said, blushing slightly.

"As you wish Luna." I replied sincerely. She smiled and turned her head away a little. I must admit that I was tempted to ask her if she wanted me to call her "My dear", but that could have seriously jeopardised the situation. We turned and walked into our rooms. I invited Octavia into mine. We walked in and she sat on the bed. I took out the clothes that I had bought and started removing labels and putting the clothes into a dresser near the bathroom. I didn't hear Luna's door open.

"Luna, would you like to come in as opposed to listening at the door?" I asked of the air. The door opened and an even redder Luna stepped inside. The door closed.

____________________________________________________________________________
DEATH walked onto an empty void. There were no stars, no light, but something ethereal illuminated a black robe in front of him.

HOLY SHIT! ANOTHER BEING! I HAVEN'T SEEN SOMEONE THAT I COULD TALK TO IN OVER A THOUSAND YEARS.

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

THIS UNIVERSE IS BEING CREATED IN INSTALLMENTS. RIGHT NOW, THEY ARE FOCUSSING ON PAPER CLIPS AND MECHANICAL PENCIL SHARPENERS.

NO WAY. THAT'S STUPID.

NEVERTHELESS

WELL, IF A HUMAN POPS IN AND DIES OF ASPHYXIATION, COULD YOU PLEASE LET ME KNOW?

NO PROBLEM.

THANKS, I HAVE TO GO NOW.

DAMN! CAN'T STAY ANOTHER MINUTE COULD YOU?

SORRY.

DROP BY AGAIN SOMETIME.

I WILL.

DEATH dropped through his newest dimensional hole. The other DEATH looked around the barren environment. Something popped into being just over his right ear-hole. He looked up.

OH GOD. A FOUNTAIN PEN.

Author's Note

Time to answer some questions.
Q1: Bon Bon will be showing up in this chapter. I mentioned that she moved back to Canterlot and since we arrived, we were held in the palace for a bit. Now that we are going into the city proper, we can go and find her.
Q2: I suppose these shopping trips are there to get necessary things for living. These could be done while the characters are not in the spotlight, but I hate doing that. Also, I can go and find plot devices (like Bon Bon) if I want.
Q3:Asda. Is. Awesome. Imagine Walmart, except better. The shopping carts are better, the selection is better. It's multi-storey, and it has escalators...for shopping carts! All four of the shopping carts wheels are on pivots as well so the fucking things can go SIDEWAYS! Tell me honestly that that isn't cool.

Here's another thing. I said that this would not be a harem story. Three plot devices for this trip include meeting Octavia, who will return again in future chapters, finding Bon Bon, who will achieve plot device number 3 which is getting Lyra off of the radar. I will let you all know two things. Thing one, people have actually requested the Luna romance. Thing two, someone bet me that I couldn't write a legitimate romantic relationship between Luna and myself within three chapters without using complete bullshit. Lets do this.

And that is the longest chapter that I have ever written. It took the longest to write to at a total of three days of on and off writing. It turned out nicely though. Here is the plan for the next two chapters... Dinner with everyone is the next chapter, with the following chapter winning me my bet and being a beautiful romance scene. My eyes are tearing already. Actually, that's just hayfever, but whatever.
Anyway, it has been a pleasure entertaining you at 5:00 in the morning and happy reading.

Go back to the top and start reading the fic now.

We needed a dining room scene?

I walked down the steps, one of my button up shirts on under an open jacket, beige cargo pants and the only pair of shoes that I had. I looked okay, if a little bit casual-formal. We had hit up the toiletries aisle, but they had no razors, having fur on everyone's faces. Instead, I got myself a razor sharp pocket knife from the sporting section. It would do for now. I just had to be careful to keep the blade moving up and down in a straight line. So I was also clean shaven. It would do. I waited at the bottom of the steps, before the entrance to the dining hall and leant against the wall.

Luna had asked me to wait here for her so that we could enter together. I was a little bit wary about this, but it was up to her. Lyra and Bon Bon walked down about a minute after I started leaning against the wall. I raised my hand and gave a little wave and a jaunty little salute before dropping my hand back to my side. Lyra and Bon Bom waved back, Lyra attempting to imitate my little salute, making me smile. I scanned up to the top of the stairs and felt a familiar feeling in my mind.

I'm almost there. Sorry to keep you waiting.

I hopped off of the wall and strode up the stairs. Lyra and Bon Bon started at my sudden movement. I arrived at the top of the stairs just as Luna stepped into the corridor. She was breathtaking. Instead of going casually, she had dressed fully formally. There is something about me that I should really mention. It's a way of judging a personality by reactions to questions, or situations. Luna dressed fully formally for a normal dinner. Admittedly my first actual dinner in Equestria, not counting the party at the library, but still no special occasion. She had done up her hair into a glittering bun, a long braid flowing from the end and over her shoulder. She was wearing a strapless evening dress in her usual navy blue, except with enchanted patterns shifting over her body in light greens and blues. Lyra and Bon Bon simply stared past me. I managed to keep my mouth closed, smiling at her. She saw me and smiled back radiantly. It was something inside me that clicked into place.

All of my thoughts backpedalled, flashing back through all of the time that I had spent with her. Two realizations had hit me at once. She was one of the (on Earth) incredibly rare personages who was truly empathic. I am and I have met and talked to three others who are the same. It is easy to tell after a short while of being around them. I had been a little bit distracted by all of the things that had happened since I arrived here so it took me a little bit of time to make the connection. The second realization was a far more disquieting one. She was in love. It appeared to act like "imprinting" except, differently. The moment that she had entered my mind, she had acted oddly in her sister's eyes. There were no warning bells. No blaring alerts. It could work.

Luna strode towards me, reaching the stairs quickly before slowing down and stopping beside me. She twirled in front of me, allowing her dress to swirl around her calves.

"So, how do I look?" she asked me, a mix of smugness and worry in her voice. It was understandable.

"I don't know... I think that your bun is a little off kilter." I said, casting a "critical" eye over her appearance. Her smile started to slide away. My face instantly changed to display my true emotion of adoration.

"No, Luna. You look perfect." I reached out and stroked her cheek with my right hand. She sighed with relief before casting a critical glance over my own attire.

"You could have dressed a little bit more formally." she said, her voice slightly accusatory. I smiled.

"Not really. Maybe without the jacket, but then the shirt would have been on it's own. The cargo pants look better than the sweat pants that we got earlier and I despise wearing completely formal attire. Suppose something happened and I had to protect you, I would need something that I can move around in."

"I suppose." she said a little wistfully.

"Now that we have agreed that you are beautiful and I am average, how about we go and eat something?" I asked, keeping my tone light and playful. I offered her my elbow.

"Well. At least you know how to act chivalrous." she said.

"That's not the only thing I know." I said as she looped her elbow through mine. We walked down the steps together. Lyra and Bon Bon were still standing partway up the stairs. We walked past them fairly regally. I could tell that Luna was ready to burst out laughing at the slightest provocation. I was too as we reached the bottom of the steps and the door ahead of us opened onto a needlessly large dining room. Or, at least on any other occasion it would be needlessly large, however, with the mane six, Lyra and Bon Bon, the two princesses, Octavia and myself, it was only a little too large.

Luna and I walked through the open doors into the dining room, still arm in arm. Luna was steering as we walked to her seat. Somehow, there was an empty space beside it. Luna smiled at me shyly, and I returned with a smile of quiet confidence. I seated her on her sister's right hand before sitting at Luna's right myself. We sat, waiting for only two more ponies, the rest having already been seated as Luna and I had walked in. Lyra and Bon Bon walked slowly through the door to see that we had already sat down next to a slightly disgruntled Celestia. There wasn't anything that we could do about Luna being imprinted, but I could see that she didn't particularly like it. It worried me, but it was nothing that a few candid talks with Celestia and some time couldn't heal. I would be polite of course, but Celestia would take some time before she accepted the circumstances. If she ever did.

The truth is that in my experience, certain minds were special. It was something to do with past traumas. Many people would just curl up and hide from the world, building a wall around themselves to stay safe. These people almost invariably end up with weird disorders. Some, however, accept things after a while. We just accept whatever comes at us. We can complain about it, but it is accepted into a realistic world view that to most appears cynical. The primary issue is that we see what is really there. When there is simply horrible luck, we can call bullshit because we know that it is just bad luck. If it is malevolent, which it so rarely is, then we know. We see and judge people faster and more accurately than anyone else. In a country like Equestria, such things are almost unheard of.

The real issue was when Luna looked into my mind for the first time. She had never seen a mind like this before. Her own was strong, but was one of the same... colour... for lack of a better word. As such, she recognised it at a subconscious level and latched on metaphorically. I was suddenly someone who had to stay near her. She couldn't very well adopt me, and I couldn't be a parental figure, so I was brought in at the only remaining level. I was almost instantly, her one true love. Celestia knew this, but she still didn't like it.

It was all taken in in a single glance. I wasn't in danger, and nor was anypony else. I just had to tread carefully. Octavia had a look on her face as Luna and I had walked in, but hers was now simply one of acceptance. Lyra also looked a little downcast, but soon, dinner was served, waiters bustling in with drinks and large trays laden with vegetables and fruits. There were also soups and gravy. Those puzzled me. Soup stocks and gravies are frequently based on animal meats and bones. What were they based on here? I made a mental note to ask later. In the meantime, I found myself being presented with a medium sized fish. I was surprised at first and turned to Luna questioningly.

"We sometimes serve Gryphons here. They prefer meat and fish to more civilised foods. I understood that you were an omnivore and gave requests to the kitchens." Luna explained.

"It makes sense, but you don't have to make special provisions for me. I can see that you and Princess Celestia are used to omnivores and carnivores, but the others around the table do not look so fondly upon my habits. I recommend that I desist henceforth while they are around, at least for a while." I replied. Celestia looked over to me, an eyebrow cocked.

"I did not expect such a diplomatic response Josh. Perhaps you are not all that you seem to be."

"No fear of transparency Your Highness. I simply believe that impoliteness is needless and tends to slow down civilised conversation. I suppose that you yourself have seen what happens when impoliteness is used during your long lifespan as a solo ruler of a nation this large. I must commend you on the warmth and kind nature of your subjects. Were it not that humans could only manage the same things, we would be far better off."

"Luna, you have certainly met an interesting stallion. I may employ him myself as a diplomat."

"It would appear to suit him would it not, my sister?" Celestia laughed at Luna's response.

"Yes Luna, it would indeed appear to suit him." Celestia said, looking at me. She had warmed to me over the brief exchange, but I wasn't above suspicion, as well I shouldn't be. If she had let me into her confidence so easily, I would have spoken to her about it. As it was however, things were proceeding well and so was the first course. I had been talking in between bites of fish. Diplomatic speeches frequently took a long time and were a good opportunity to take a few bites. I finished the last mouthful and took a small bite out of an apple.

Luna looked at me attempt to eat an apple in a diplomatic way, a feat that I considered nearly impossible. She giggled and it turned into a laugh that broke the diplomatic atmosphere of this section of the table into a million pieces. Both Celestia and my shoulders started to shake. I swallowed my bite of apple and started to laugh. Celestia soon followed suit. Both of us let ourselves go in a severe counterpoint to the businesslike feeling of just a few seconds ago. The three of us regained our composure and we turned to one another.

"I suppose that I could give you a shot. You appear to be a moral being, even if a little naked around your face."

"I find the lack of fur to be helpful at times. Do you ever have to shed for instance?" Celestia understood that I had found the ultimate flaw of her argument. She laughed again, this time harder than before.

"You are quite right. We have to shed once a year. It itches like mad and I hate it more than anything in the world." Luna laughed again at her sister's outburst.

"I think that you have my sister's seal of approval Josh" she said, poking me in the ribs with a wing.

"I think that I should therefore thank your sister for such a seal of approval. I would also have you know that you are both more beautiful than many on my planet would even think of dreaming about."

"I am not sure how to take that." said Celestia, looking at me al little strangely.

"Take it as a compliment Your Highness, as that was how it was intended." I replied.

"Then I shall."

We sat as butlers cleared away the plates from the first course. They came back with deserts. A delicious looking slice of chocolate cake was laid down before me. I took up my fork and took a bite. It was far too rich for anypony to enjoy. I, however, was diplomatic and therefore ate it with a smile and pretended to enjoy it. I did, however make the comment that it was a tad rich for my tastes, but good all the same. It was a cake that made me profusely glad that my requested drink was milk as opposed to cranberry juice. It was very helpful that I could forget about the richness every few mouthfuls. Soon enough it was gone.

"I must commend you on the test, but I must inquire as to how you truly thought of that cake." said Celestia, looking at me differently. I could always have lied, but that would have been stupid and gratuitous and would have served to simply set me back in her eyes.

"I am unused to rich tasting cake like that. It was not significantly pleasurable, but thankfully, my requested milk helped me to get past it. Milk is a useful beverage for banishing unwanted tastes from the mouth. Have you ever experimented with such Your Highness?"

"No, I have not." Celestia replied. Luna sat between us, head bowed, shoulders shaking, her laughter being muffled by a pavlova. "Can you truly recommend it?"

"Request a piece of that self-same cake that I ate and test for yourself. I feel confident that you will find the effects of milk satisfactory." I replied. Celestia did so and soon a small piece of the cake was before her as well as a glass of milk. She took a bite of the cake and made a show of revulsion that she overplayed just a little bit. She then partook of the milk before her. Her look changed almost instantly.

"See? Milk really does work wonders." I said.

"Indeed it does. How did you stand to eat that cake. Even I might have sent it back upon the first bite."

"I knew about the milk trick. Also, from the first mouthful, I knew that it was a test. Nopony could truly enjoy such a cake. As such, that means that it was a test for the recipient. Did I pass?"

"You did. You also taught me a few tricks. I might use this against certain other nations in the future."

"Please be sure not to waste such a tool. I feel sure that someday another species would try to counter the trick by preparing that only another drink would work on, or simply preparing their diplomats to eat terrible food while plying them with yet another beverage. You might request that same beverage, only to find that it does not work. Regretfully, only a human could truly think so deceitfully of another species." I said hanging my head. Luna stopped laughing and looked at me worriedly. Celestia looked at me with an interesting look on her face. I saw neither of them.

"It would appear that the qualities of your race that you despise are also the ones that I find to be negative. Is this true?"

"It would seem so, yes, Your Highness." I sighed, still looking down.

"Then I must request that myself and Josh may leave the table. I have something to show him." said Luna. Celestia looked at her critically. This time, I felt two minds touching one another outside of my head. Mentally, I recoiled from the touch, but soon, I left my mind's control over my environment alone. In a second, Luna had taken me by the arm and was lifting me from my seat. I raised my head.

"It has been a pleasure conversing with you Your Highness." I said to Celestia.

"And you Josh."

"Ladies, It has been a pleasure being with you this evening." I said to the room at large.

"Likewise." said Twilight, the others nodding agreement.

Luna and I turned and left, The others returning to their normal conversation.

"Princess, are you sure about this?" asked Twilight when she was sure that Luna and I were out of earshot.

"Yes Twilight, I am. Luna has told me of her plans and she has my approval."

"If you are sure."

"I am"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DEATH strode out onto a dark plain. A bald man sprinted by, several black horrors swiftly following him. Another figure was following them on a skeletal horse. DEATH let himself fly after them. He had feet, but flying would be better for this conversation. He caught up to the figure on the horse.

PARDON ME? asked DEATH of the figure.

WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT THIS BASTARD STILL HASN'T DIED? HE HAS FOUGHT BOUNTY HUNTERS, RANDOM CREATURES, NECROMANCERS. FOR ONE, I CALL THIS BULLSHIT.

WHO IS HE?

HIS NAME IS RIDDICK. THE LITTLE FUCKER JUST KEEPS ADDING TO HIS BODYCOUNT, MAKING MORE AND MORE WORK FOR ME.

As if on cue, Riddick turned around and slashed deep into the first creature's side with a blade before decapitating it. The figure on the horse swore again and swung his scythe as he rode past the dead body of the monster. It's soul was cleanly cut away.

I FEEL EVER SO SORRY FOR YOU, BUT I HAVE TO SEARCH THROUGH THE MULTIVERSE FOR A HUMAN FROM MY DIMENSION.

YOU MUST BE CLOSE THEN. THERE WAS A DIMENSIONAL RIPPLE JUST A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO. IT HIT A UNIVERSE (the following has been removed because there is absolutely no way that anyone could understand it. Some people look at time as a hidden direction. This is a thousand times weirder).

THAT CLOSE? I MUST BE ALMOST THERE THEN. BY THE WAY, YOU ARE CHASING THE MAIN CHARACTER FROM A MOVIE ON MY PLANET. PERHAPS THERE IS A WAY THAT YOU COULD SIMPLY TASK SOMETHING TO PERMANENTLY FOLLOW HIM TO CLEAN UP HIS WAKE?

LIKE WHAT?

PERSONALLY, I WOULD GIVE SCROFFULA A CHANCE.

REALLY? OKAY. THANKS.

NO, THANK YOU.

DEATH slowed down and disappeared into the void once more. This time, he had a destination.

Author's Note

Fear not. I won't die. DEATH has found my current universe however. How I will get out of it, I won't tell you. Rest assured that it will be interesting.
Believe me when I say that the two paragraphs about the special kind of mind is not simply self aggrandising bollocks. Almost everyone who has spoken to me say I have a lot of empathy. I care about everyone's problems and issues except for my own. My life is nothing, but a way for me to help people. As such, I plan to join the military. (The thing is that it is the Canadian military, so I will likely be deployed in the UN peacekeepers.) You can seldom help more than a few people as a civilian, however, if my regiment takes down a tyrannical madman, then that is a bunch of people helped for the better. Also, I can fight national tyrants. It is a helpful vocation. I can only imagine the effect of a mind reader actually touching onto a mind like this, but the effects may be something like what I described. This deals with the realm of total impossibility, and as such, it still counts as legit for my bet.
Anyway, It has been a pleasure entertaining you, coming one step closer to winning my bet and writing a fic that I would personally, much rather be reading as one of you. I keep waiting for another chapter to be posted and then remembering that I actually have to do it. Q.Q Anyway, happy reading!

The most wonderful of nights

Luna took my hand as we left the dining room and began to lead me through the castle. We headed towards one of the towers and climbed a long circular staircase, windows letting the evening light in to the tower in long beams of deep orange light. We arrived at the top of the tower and she lead me through a door onto a balcony. It had a perfect view of the city, the whole cityscape glazed in orange by the setting sun. Luna showed me a bench that had been set up for the long nights on the tower. We sat down and leant back, watching the sun go down.

"Back on my world, we had pollution in the atmosphere. The only positive thing was it added beautiful colours to the sunsets. Pinks, reds, yellows, even greens. The plain orange of this one just helps me to love Equestria more." I said, breaking the silence.

"What caused the pollution? You never said." replied Luna, her eyes following the sun as it reached the taller rooftops.

"Industrialization. On a planet like this with unicorns and magic, I can only hope that it won't be needed. On my planet, when we wanted to travel a great distance quickly, we used cars, helicopters and aeroplanes. A human could travel over 100 kilometers in an hour. It is a massive distance in a very short time. It puts out many harmful chemicals into the air though. The burning of oils and fuels in huge amounts to produce power did the same thing. Our substitute for magic was electricity. We used it to achieve amazing feats, but those are beyond my abilities now. I am cut off from everything at home."

I stopped and felt her hand grip mine. I turned to her to see her looking at me. She had tears in her eyes. The final rays of the sun glittered on them before it dropped below the horizon. We both knew that it wasn't the time to speak. A tear slowly slid down her cheek, drawing a damp line in her fur. We both ignored it as it fell onto the bench between us. She leaned forwards into a hug. We embraced fully. I felt her wings stiffen as I caressed the bases. I felt her arms around me. Her wings loosened and I felt the shift in the air as her wings unfurled and then closed in around us, sheltering us from the eyes of the world. Slowly, she pulled away, her wings opening again, revealing her night sky.

I was about to speak when I noticed that her dress was different. It had been stunning before, but now, under the night sky, it was truly incredible. Its patterns shifted and changed. Constellations formed and broke apart for a new constellation to form in a dramatic waltz of the heaves. Suddenly, a familiar ribbon of colour wrapped itself around the dress and disappeared. Then another. Then a third. I looked to Luna's face and she laughed. My own face was shocked, my mouth hanging open. She pointed up without speaking a word. We both looked up and saw Equestria's first Aurora Borealis. There were the same familiar greens, blues, pinks from Earth, but there was also a new colour. It was one that I had never seen before. I looked towards Luna.

"Where did that colour come from?" I asked her.

"It's me." said Luna.

A bright orange ribbon floated across the sky, following the dance of the other colours. As we were watching, she reached out and took my hand again. Instantly, another colour formed up. A bright purple, dancing with the others, but with a noticeable pattern. It swirled with the unheard music of the celestial waltz, but with a partner. As we watched, it twisted itself into knots with the orange of Luna's aura. We turned to one another. I was amazed, but she looked just as shocked as I did. We drew ourselves closer, the colours above growing brighter and brighter. Our lips touched and a sixth colour joined the light show, binding our colours together.

It was a wondrous cyan, but it changed colour frequently. The next second it was yellow, then red, then green. It never halted in it's show. Ponies gathered at windows and in the streets, watching the dance. Luna and I never noticed them though. We were far too busy with one another.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was an hour later. Luna and I still sat together on the bench. The aurora had slowly faded away until it had disappeared. Luna's head was on my shoulder as we sat and looked at the stars. She was dosing off beside me, but I was still alert. Suddenly, I started to feel cold. I felt Luna start to shiver and she sat up. I removed my jacket and put it around her before standing up.

"Josh, what is it?" she asked me, standing behind me. The magic on her dress was still active, but the constellations were fainter now as if someone was draining power from the area. We stood together and she stepped forwards. I found her hand and took it in mine.

"I have a feeling that it is someone who has been looking for me for 2 days." I said.

"Who?"

ME said DEATH appearing in front of us.

"I am alive here. You may not touch me here." I said.

WHO SAYS THAT I MAY NOT? DEATH asked, a chortle in his voice.

"Am I not entitled to a game for my life?"

OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT TO DO THAT? he said, surprising both Luna and myself.

"I only asked if I was entitled. I never said that you had to play. You could forfeit." I said, trying to console the anthropomorphic personification of death.

AND WHY WOULD I DO THAT? DEATH asked me, a huff in his voice.

"Because I would win." I said.

LOOK, I HATE CHESS, BUT I AM A VERY GOOD PLAYER AFTER ALL OF THOSE WANKERS CAME THROUGH AND CHALLENGED ME.

"Who said anything about chess?"

DEATH's cowl perked up.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO PLAY THEN?

"How about the game of love?" I asked.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? A CHEAP BEE MOVIE?

"I am serious. If Luna loves me after these two days in this dimension, then I will stay. If not, you can take me wherever you want."

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

"Yes."

AND WHY THE FUCK SO YOU THINK THAT I WOULD AGREE TO THIS?

"Because you have no choice."

I DO HAVE A CHOICE.

"There is always a choice for humans. You have to follow the rules. I give you the choice to play or to concede."

I REJECT THE GAME. YOU HAVE TO PICK A NEW ONE.

"You can't do that."

WANNA BET?

"No. Okay, I have a different game."

THIS ONE BETTER NOT BE BULLSHIT.

"It's fine. I will ask you two questions. If you can answer both questions truthfully with only yes or no, you may take me wherever."

YOU REALLY THINK THAT YOU CAN WIN WITH THIS?

"You can only answer with yes or no and you must answer truthfully."

I KNOW THE RULES. GO AHEAD, WHAT IS THE FIRST QUESTION?

"Is the answer to this question the same as the answer to the question "Do you concede this game?"?"

DEATH thought about it for a second.

FUCK YOU.

"Yes or no." I reminded him.

YES.

"Second question. Do you concede this game?"

I REALLY, REALLY HATE YOU RIGHT NOW.

"Why?"

BECAUSE I FOLLOWED YOU ALL THE WAY HERE ONLY FOR IT NOT TO BE NECESSARY.

"Please, finish the game and answer the second question."

YES. THIS GAME IS OVER. YOU WIN.

Author's Note

I had fun writing this. It seems like a logical closure point, but maybe I will open up this multiverse again to play in further down the line. In the meantime, I hope that everyone enjoyed this fic and that I didn't fuck up too badly. I am currently planning to go and remove the sex tag from this fic, although there is far to much swearing to rate it for everyone. That being said, it has been the GREATEST of pleasures entertaining you. I hope that you all enjoy your lives. Had a nice evening and happy reading.

Announcement of Sequel

It really only occurred to me to do this. Yes, I know. Sad isn't it?
But The Trouble With Gryphons is on three chapters so far. It is the first official sequel to A Lost Soul etc. but it has been written in a different style. Check the differences before you decide that you want to finish it. It is a different kind of story. The dark tag and I have a relationship of mutual distrust, but we have an accord on my sequel. Point is, it isn't a lightly toned happy fun romantic time like this story was. It is a lot more serious and that is reflected in the writing. Most recently, someone tried to kill me. They failed, but shit is going down and hitting the fan. It is interesting, and it does allude to Luna's Boredom Cure and it's own spinoff (which hasn't been updated in a while. It also has the dark tag and we have yet to negotiate terms on that story.) that never really got off the ground (the spinoff...LBC stopped comfortably at about 19 chapters of normal content and 2 chapters of me being bored). So, if you want to read it, just click the link in the second line. I do hope that you enjoy it. It is going to get interesting in about 5 minutes when I start a new update so, enjoy yourselves.

Goes back and edits....
Actually, I was just looking at LBC and noticed that I was pretty slow on short updates towards the end. Here, I got slow on long updates, but I digress. NEW STORY TIME!!!!!!!!
If you want to find LBC, click the other link. Shouldn't be too hard to find.