Banjo Kazooie: Hooves n' Magic

by Barracuda cyborg

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Zecora, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 7305

Banjo and Kazooie in Equestria

Banjo and Kazooie were enjoying their life, ol' Grutny was toiling in L.O.G's workshop, everything was going fine. Well until Mumbo Jumbo and Humba Wumba got into a fight to see who was the best witch doctor in all of Spiral Mountain when a magic mishap transported them to Equestria and now they must find a way to get back home. NOT A NUTS AND BOLTS CROSSOVER!

Published 2013-07-27 03:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-11-14 03:03:45 UTC

Prolouge (edited)

(Here is some music to set the mood)

It was just an average day in Spiral mountain, Banjo and Kazooie were enjoying their lives ever since they stopped Gruntilda from defeating them and taking their home again. Mumbo Jumbo and Humba Wumba had closed down their shops and returned to their lives as the shaman of Spiral Mountain once again, L.O.G had left them alone for vacation, and Ol' Grunty was toiling away in L.O.G's game factory. "Ah, this is the life right Kazooie?" the honey bear asked his red crested breegull friend.

"Not really, having bottle brain here talk to us about his life reminds me how boring this place really is, I mean why do ya think we got so fat over the years!?!" Kazooie replied to her country bumpkin pal. Banjo was as country as you could get he wore yellow cargo shorts and had a shark tooth necklace while also carrying a blue backpack in which Kazooie lived in.

"I guess you're right Kazooie but hey at least everything is back to the way it was before we got fat. I mean the only thing I could really think that we really need to get rid of is that gate to Showdown Town." the bear said having a hint of hatred toward the town.

Then all of a sudden a purple skinned, yellow skulled shaman wearing a brown grass skirt came running down the hill wile carrying a skull staff. "BEAR AND BIRD MUMBO NEED HELP!" He shouted.

"What is it Mumbo?" Banjo asked with a concerned voice knowing his shaman friend needed something important.

"*Pant* *Pant* Mumbo need help to see that Dumba Wumba worst shaman in Spiral mountain." Mumbo said trying to get his point through.

"Oh jeez not this again skull boy." Kazooie said annoyed knowing that they Mumbo and Humba always argued about who was the better shaman and asked the both of them to say who was the best. Then as if it was on que the Native American shaman came in and thean started to yell at Mumbo.

"Humba know that Dumbo try to persuade bear and bird to make you best Shaman." The Indian angrily said.

"Oh geez it's gonna be one of those kind of days" Kazooie said as she face palmed in agony.

Meanwhile In L.O.G's video game sweat/work shop

"This is just unfair, I thought I could finally beat that bear." Gruntilda the witch said as her mechanical body worked on various video games for people. "Every chance I get I fail, if my failures were animals they would be a whale." Grunty over the years had face many failure but this latest one takes the cake mainly because after all of what she did she still failed after being pummeled by a boulder, being turned into a skeleton, becoming a lame villain, and losing almost everything she had. "I'll get my revenge once again, but for now I'll try to get out of this pen." she said as she got out a small remote that opened a portal to help get her out of the factory.

Meanwhile back at spiral mountain

Banjo had a bored expression on his face as he sat in his comfy chair. "Are they still at it?" he asked Kazooie.

"Yep" Kazooie replied having to deal with the shaman debate almost every single week.

"Mumbo was first shaman here so he must be the best." Mumbo said trying to claim he was the best.

"Humba have better spells than you skull head so she is best" Humba said trying to win the argument due to her powers.

"Sure, sure Dumba can turn bird into lizard, but my spells help bear and bird survive terrible environments." Mumbo replied.

"Ooooh, Humba will show bone head who best, take this dummy!" Humba said as she shot a magic laser toward Mumbo who then shot a blast himself to defend himself. Then a magical portal stared to form when the lasers combined. As their spells hit a small purple portal started to form and acted like a worm hole.

"You fool your causing a rip in the universe!" The two shaman shouted in unison as the worm hole started to expand and started to suck up small bits of rock.

"Oh gosh this might not end well" Banjo said as he held onto his chair hanging for dear life as Bottles the short vest wearing mole came out of Banjo's house holding a box that said 'Dirtopoly: it's more fun than dirt itself' when Humba and Mumbo were pulled into the portal.

"Jam-Jars help me!" Bottle said as he held onto Banjo.

"Cousin I'm trying my best to help, but the portals strength is too strong." Jam-Jars, Bottles military like cousin said trying his best to plant himself on the floor. Pretty soon they all were sucked into the portal as it was growing more and more and as soon as the six were sucked up the portal closed in on itself.

Back at the Game factory

"I will get my revenge on those two now, soon enough I'll make them look dumber than a retarded cow!" Gunty said as she started to operate her small remote to send her back to Spiral Mountain but of course like many of her plans it backfired. When the portal opened she just decided 'Why not' and she jumped in.

As soon as Grunty left the factory L.O.G the flying computer monitor had sensed something going on and he decided to set things right. With his decision set he decided to teleport to see what the problem was. L.O.G was pretty sure that Banjo, Kazooie and Grunty were at their same old shenanigans again, and he knew he stopped that sort of thing just a few months ago. Knowing they did this just to annoy him again. With all the stuff he had to put up them, this is how they thanked him!?! He knew he had to stop them from start another conflict again. No one knew what would happen to them but all they knew is that there was another adventure to be had.

Welcome to Equestria (edited)

(again here is some music to set the mood)

Once the gang popped out of the portal they all noticed that the area that they were in looked a lot like Bubblegloop Swamp. "How did we get to BubbleGloop swamp guys?" Banjo asked confused.

"Mumbo know this not Bubblegloop Swamp there no gator hut, no Tanktup, nothing look same at all." the shaman said in a state of confusion and irritation.

"Calm down punk we need to march on out of here and find a way out now MOVE IT!" Jam-Jars said trying to get everyone to calm down. Eventually everyone listened to him and started to walk around in circles for a moment, and then they noticed the only opening in the entire place and ran toward it.

When they finally exited the woods they see eight multi-colored ponies staring right at them with somewhat of a judgmental looking at our six heroes. "Um Excuse me Mr. bear thing we saw some weird flash coming from the Everfree forest so me and my friends came to see what was gong on." a butter yellow Pegasus said somewhat quietly as possible.

"Well that's okay ma'am me and my pals just had a small magical mishap, nothing to really to worry about." Banjo said trying to keep the pony in a relaxed demeanor.

"Wait your world has magic? That's amazing, not only do I get to be meeting beings from a different universe but we get to know that they use magic n their world." the purple unicorn said with the same excitement of a little school girl getting a new toy.

"Twilight get a hold of your self we don't know what these things are, for all we know they could be changelings in disguise!" the blue one said as she tried her best to protect her friends even though they really didn't care about the possible dangers.

"Speak for yourself skittles, you're the main one complaining but your pals look okay with accepting us." Kazooie said to defend her and the others.

"Hey I'm trying to protect my home and friends, you on the other hand could destroy us within three hours bird brain." Rainbow replied.

"You wanna get down now tomboy, lets get down!" Kazooie replied to enrage the rainbow pony even more.

"KAZOOIE STOP THAT DO YA WANT US TO GET HURT?!?!" Banjo said to Kazooie trying to stop the argument as soon as possible. "Now could we get with some apologies young lady?" Banjo said in an agitated tone.

"Deuuuuuugh fine, look I'm sorry ok? We friends?" Kazooie said in a forced nice voice.

" Look it's okay, sometimes I get out of control most of the time. Hey let start anew, hi my name is Rainbow Dash." she said as her hoof extended for a shake.

"Well hi, my name's Kazooie and the guy carrying me is my friend Banjo." she said still trying to mend the wounds that were formed. "To my right is Mumbo Jumbo and Humba Wumba the best shamans in our world." she said but the two shaman gave each other dirty looks knowing their conflict wasn't over yet. "Finally the last two Bottles and Jam-Jars, they helped us defeat our arch enemy Gruntilda the witch."

"Well that is an amazing tale you have there now with our inroductions my name is Princess Celestia and this is my sister Luna we both control the day and night cycle of this world. We all welcome you to the land of Equestria."

"Same as the princess said welcome and hi my name is Twilight Sparkle, I'm the brains of our group." the purple mare said.

"My name is um....Fluttershy, and I take care of animals." the yellow Pegasus said as she started to flinch.

"Hello my name is Rarity if you and your friends want some new clothes I'll be happy to give them to you." the white unicorn said with a hint of appalling disgust toward Banjos fashion sense.

"Hiya guys my name is Pinkie pie I'm gonna throw you all the best welcoming party you'll ever have." the party animal said bouncing around without a care in the world.

"Howdy my name is Applejack, if any of y'all want some food ya come to me." the country pony said with a down to earth feeling.

"Well hi every-uh pony I guess..... yeah everypony." banjo said trying to find the right way to say 'everyone' in this world. "Anyway hi everypony glad we could just come and meet all ya." Banjo said being the open armed guy welcoming everyone friendly.

"Hey uh Banjo? I just want to say again how sorry I am again about just accusing you and your friends being a potential danger to us." Rainbow said trying to still fix up what went on earlier.

"Look it's okay Ms. Dash no real harm done, trust me Kazooie can be hot headed as well from time to time." Banjo replied helping fix the theoretical burned bridge.

"Yeeah, he's right I can get like that, but ya know like he said no harm no foul am I right?" Kazooie said somewhat feeling guilty from earlier.

"Okay you two now hug and make up." Banjo said hoping to make the apologies all official.

"We were going to don't rush it, these things take time." Kazooie said knowing Banjos help was starting to be really annoying. a few moments later Kazooie climbed out of Banjos backpack and hugged Rainbow Dash feeling a small sense of emotion that she had never felt in a long time...... unconventional love, even though Banjo give her that sort of emotion but this scenario gave her the type of feelings she wanted to feel in a long time.

"Now enough with all this nonsense and have a PARTY!" Pinkie said as she pulled out a cart filled with various party favors and food.

Unwelcome visitor (edited)

(once more here is some music to set the chapters mood)

somewhere deep with in the mountains a flashing green portal opened and out popped Gruntilda with her original look "My old body is finally back, but I need to complete my revenge so I can't hit the sack." she said as she started to pace back and forth around the mountain plateau trying to figure out where in the heck she was. "Now according to this scanner, Banjo and his lame-o pals are near a 'welcome to Ponyville' banner." she said as her small tracking device that she had made in her spare time started to show various points of data.

Meanwhile in Ponyville

"And I'm telling you that it is possible to come back from the dead!" Bottles said as he started to fume due to his death experience was being judged.

"And I'm telling you that unexplained resurrection from the dead is completely scientifically IMPOSSIBLE without a resurrection spell!" Twilight said trying to back up her facts and data with various charts.

"Well have you been burned to a crisp?, have YOU ever been dead for weeks and came back to life? If not your cases are invalid." Bottles said as he defended his case even more.

"Does she always have to put her two cents into every little thing that goes on?" Kazooie asked Rainbow as they watched the argument of Bottles death and unexplained resurrection came to be.

"Pretty much but it's usually with something different like how something is organized or how something should be picture perfect." Dash said knowing that Twilight can be a tad O.C.D sometimes. "Don't worry after a while you get used to it." Dash said as she got into a more relaxed sitting position.

"So Banjo your a country like guy aren't ya?" Applejack asked Banjo as they were drinking some fruit punch. "Why yes ma'am I guess you could say that I am." Banjo replied. "In fact the reason I moved to Spiral Mountain was because I" and at that moment everything had stopped as if time was frozen. After a few seconds of silenced a flashing 'PAUSED' sign came up and L.O.G's portal had reached where Banjo and company had been.

"So that is where you have been hiding from me. I thought I gave you the privilege of having your home, but having an unauthorized game like adventure in a website without my amazingness that just crosses the line buster" L.O.G said with a boastful attitude that toppled over Trixie's own boastfulness, but still having a sense of anger.

"Hey go away Mr. Tube head no one likes you not even me!" Pinkie said as a large collective gasp filled the air.

"Hey don't go off talking to me like that because I can delete you out of the fic with just a few simple words." L.O.G replied to the party pony as he got into her face. "HEAR YE, HEAR YE SECOND RATE TV CHARACTERS I THE LORD OF GAMES OR L.O.G AM HERE TO BRING BACK THESE SECOND RATE VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS BACK TO THEIR MEASLY LITTLE SHACK AS OF NOW." He said once again feeling high and mighty with his self proclaimed title.

"What gives you the right to talk me, my subjects, and our friends in such a manor?" Celestia said as she was enraged by the way L.O.G treated everyone like a bag of dirt.

"Oh don't give that whole 'I'm a caring person' shtick, most people reading this think you are a horrible pony and you should feel bad for even existing." L.O.G said as he got into the sun princesses face with no emotion in his voice, and as he finished Celestia started to cry.

"Hey pong boy, no one talks to a princess like that, even you got to have standards!" Kazooie said as she defended Celestia the best she could.

"Don't you mouth off to me bird brain or I'll decide on having chicken tonight." L.O.G said trying to make Kazooie feel scared. Then all of a sudden a large gust of wind blew them away as Gruntilda came in at the last part of the argument.

"Muwahahahahah, Hey L.O.G look I'm my old self again, for now you see nothing can hold me not even your crooked policemen." Grunty said throwing L.O.G of his high horse.

"Gruntilda?!?! I thought You were in my factory?" the game creator said in confusion.

"That's what you thought you ignorant droid for now your life prepare for your life to be destroyed!" she said as she charged up a destruction spell and threw it at L.O.G. With that all there was a small pile of ash and a cracked screen.

"Oh hi Banjo, it's nice to see you and your little Dodo." Gruntilda said finally saying hi to her old rival.

"Wait who are you and why are you here?" Twilight asked trying to get some information.

"My Name is Gruntilda the witch and my quest for beauty will be done with a kidnapping and with the flip of a switch." she said explaining herself.

''Really pulling off the plot of the first game? That's your plan wart breath?" Kazooie asked seeing the witches plan would go bad again.

"Shut it bird, and now with that punk out of the way, I'll just take these two and I say to you all good day!" she said as she grabbed both of the princesses and flew off on her 'Lardmaster 300' broomstick.

"Great now what do we do, she left so quickly we don't know where she went." Rainbow said as she hovered above the others.

"All she left was this note saying 'Hahaha you stupid twits, if you don't find my clues then you should just quit. you life can be quite bland, you're next clue should be in a gemstone like land.'." Banjo said as he held a note. "Well great we don't know where she's talkin' about." Banjo said in a confused and defeated tone

"Wait she said a gemstone like place. She must mean the Crystal Empire, come on everypony we're heading out to the Crystal Empire and since Banjo and his friends have the most experience dealing with that witch they'll be helping us that and they our help getting to know our land" Twilight said getting everyone together as they marched toward the train station.

The Crystal Empire (pt 1) (edited)

(Once again here is some music to set the mood)

Our heroes had getting to know each other more and more as they took the train towards the Crystal empire As train had finally stopped at the Crystal empire train station our heroes exited and were at awe at how the place shimmered in the afternoon sun "Well here we are the Crystal empire, home of the crystal ponies." Twilight said introducing the place to the Banjo gang since she was just talking about the place non-stop the whole ride there as well.

"Well Ms. Sparkle this place sure looks really neat." Banjo said amazed on how bright the place was. "Well Grunty's note said that the next clue was around here somewhere, and since this place is so big well need to split up.".

"Hey punk! I give the orders around here." Jam-Jars said knowing he was the only military leader within the group. "Now listen everyone we'll split up into small search parties."

"Oooh I love parties!" Pinkie pie said as she jumped up and down with joy.

"Not that type of party private Pinkie." Jam-Jars said unfortunately shooting down her enthusiasm. "Now Twilight you're with me and Bottles, Banjo and kazooie are with Rainbow and Applejack, and that leaves a five team party of Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie, and the shaman." everyone agreed to the order "Great now let's MOVE OUT!" he said as they split up in their groups.

"Do you see anything Banjo?" Kazooie asked as her and Rainbow Dash were floating above him and Applejack as they were digging through the city dump

"It would be better if y'all help us." AJ said as they looked through the trash.

"We would but were searching up high above." Rainbow said as they started to zoom off to see the rooftops.

"Is she always this lazy?" Banjo asked Applejack wondering is Rainbow was just as lazy as Kazooie.

"More so than other days, but trust me you'll get used to it." she said.

"Trust me, when you live with Kazooie as long as I have than you get the same feelin'." Banjo said having the same feeling as Applejack.

Meanwhile Mumbo were getting into the same argument AGAIN. "Dumbo not even do much for bear and bird!" Humba said as she stared down around Mumbo's eye level.

"All Dumba do is sit on butt in wigwam whole time, Mumbo assisted bear and bird on adventure." Mumbo said as he got annoyed with the Indian.

"Would the both of you just stop!" Rarity said becase the fight was going on for to long. "Now both of you seem both pretty good shaman but to be honest do you really think your friends really think one of you is better." Rarity asked them both trying her best to hopefully end the fight.

"Well bird do say fight does go on for too long." Mumbo said acknowledging that it was getting annoying. "We do have help duo in our own little ways."

"Mumbo right we have helped them greatly." Humba said agreeing with Mumbo's comment.

"See there's always a solution to problem, you just needed to find some common ground you both could agree on." Rarity said triumphant of her conflict counseling.

Meanwhile Twilight was talking to Bottles while Jam-jars stood on top of Twilights head like a predatorily bird. "Keep an eye out for anything that looks like a note."

"Uuhh, everywhere we look there's paper so yeah it's gonna be hard looking for that note." Twilight said as she sighed.

"Well we'll just need to seek out notes that end in rhyme, she always rhymes except for one time where Bottles died."

"Oh come one, you think he came back from the dead?" Twilight said still annoyed from that story. Sure she faced with a lot of weird stuff in the past but unexplained resurrection just made no sense.

"He did,Banjo said he saved him, and he never lies." The sergeant said defending the story.

"Fine I'll just asked Banjo later to see if that story really is true." Twilight said as she rolled her eyes in irritation.

Eventually all of the groups came to the center of the city. "Hey have you guys did any of you find that note." Bottles asked.

"Nope nothing." Banjo said as everyone avoided him and AJ due to the fact they smelled like rotten eggs.

"Nothing on our side darling, but I did help with your little 'who's best shaman' problem." Rarity said feeling triumphant.

"Well at least something good came out from this." Banjo said "But where else is there that we can really check?" he asked the gang in a confused tone.

"Well we could always ask my sister in-law Princess Cadence. If anyone that knows this place better than us it's her." Twilight said in a excited mood.

"That great, please purple magic user tell us where this 'Cadence' is." Mumbo said in an excited tone.

"Right above us." the purple mare said as she pointed upwards to the castle.

"Oh." Mumbo said very flatly "Well at least we don't need go far to find place."

"Yep, come on everyone to the castle we go!" Kazooie said in an excited mood, and soon all of them started to walk to find the entrance.

Meanwhile within Gruntildas lair

"THOU SHALL NOT GET AWAY WITH THIS DASTERLY SCHEME GREEN ONE!" Luna said in her royal Canterlot voice. Both her and Celestia were stuck within a large metallic chamber with a single window door.

"You silly horses there a reason why I caught you like worms on hooks, my only goal is to steal your beauty so you get my looks" Gruntilda said as she was messing around with a control panel as she laughed manically.

"Please if you let us go we'll give you diplomatic immunity for this moment." Celestia said trying to compromise with the witch. as she said that Luna just gave her a look that said 'seriously?'.

"Nice try you fools, but I'll just stick to my little tools, and I hope you two enjoy looking like ghouls." she said as she tinkered with her machines.

"Please save us Twilight, I know you can stop this madness." Celestia said as she bowed her head to think as tears rolled down her cheeks.

The Crystal Empire (pt 2)

(Here's some Music once again)

Our heroes had entered the castle and after a long walk of weird stares and mutters they see the pink alicorn. "Cadence!" Twilight said as she started to gallop toward the princess.

"Twilight!" Cadence said as she also started to gallop toward Twilight. As soon as they got close to eachother they performed their little hoofshake.

"Sunshine, sunshine ladybugs awake, clap your hooves and do a little shake." both said as they performed their various gestures while leaving the Banjo gang completely confused on, while everyone else was snickering.

"I'm so glad to see you again Cadence." Twilight said as the both of them hugged.

"Me too Twilight." Cadence said as the two broke out of their hug "So what brings you and your friends here?" she asked.

"Well it's kinda of a long story" Twilight said as she got a couple of chairs for the both of them, the sudden look on her face showed Cadence that this was a talk that involved her in some way.

A few hours later

"And that's why we need your help." Twilight said as she finished the explanation she saw everyone else besides her and Cadence were fast asleep. "As I was SAYING" Twilight said loudly to wake up her companions. Everyone just woke up scattering to look like they were paying attention. "We just need your help to get access to the lower chambers of the castle to look for that note."

"Alright but the door is sealed off with dark magic." Cadence said as she grabbed a black and red book "But lucky for you I've been practicing that spell, now stand back." she said as her eyes turned dark green and she fired a black lighting bolt that opened the black door that had silver plating on it..

"Mumbo and Humba now scared of pink magic user." the shaman said as he and Humba hid behind Fluttershy.

"Well thank ya princess now we can look for that note." said Applejack

"Yeah,yeah thanks for the help can we just find that note already?!" Kazooie said irritated that the quest was taking too long.

"Feather brain is right, troops lets move out!" Jam-Jars said as he marched through the door. The rest of them followed as they saw the blank and barren chamber, but then a black cloud of mist appeared.

"Welcome you foolsss." the dark figure said as he walked slowly toward our band of heroes.

"SOMBRA?!? I thought you were dead, we saw you blow up!" Rainbow Dash said in a state of confusion.

"Yesss I wasss indeed destroyed but thisss old hag in black clothing resssurrected me by meansss of magic that even topplesss my own." Sombra said knowing his resurrection was impossible.

"Let me guess a witch brought back to life to stop us from ruining her plans?" Kazooie said knowing what about to go down.

"Why yesss PREPARE FORTHE FIGHT OF YOUR LIFE!" He said as he shot green magic bolts towards our heroes.

"Quick Kazooie use the grenade eggs!" Banjo said as he grabbed his feathery companion and held her as a weapon. "Mumbo and Humba distract dark one others try to defeat him." Mumbo said as he pulled out his staff.

"Pathetic foolsss you can not defeat me again." Sombra said as he galloped toward Twilght but she was pulled down into the ground in a flash.

"Prepare for a healthy dose of eggs!" Kazooie said right before she fired five grenade eggs towards Sombra.

Sombra still wondering how Twilight had disappeared and he was shocked about what was heading towards him. "OH COME ON, NOT AGAIN!" Sombra said as the eggs hit him and caused him to explode again.

"Well that not Mumbo's plan, but that close enough!" Mumbo said flatly as his eye balls bugged out of his skull. "Wait were purple magic user?" Mumbo asked looking for the duo.

A few seconds later the two popped out of the ground again. "*GASP* Why did you do that?!" Twilight said as she brushed off the dirt as she popped out of the ground like a gopher.

"Well you didn't want to get fried do you?" Bottles said as he climbed out of the hole. "Hey guys look at that!" bottles said as he pointed towards Sombra's ash pile.

"Wait he's right what is that shiny thing?" Pinkie said as she pulled it out of the ash pile. It was a large golden jigsaw piece with two bumps on top an on the right handed side, while two holes letting other bumps fit were on the bottom and the left handed side.

"That there is a 'Jiggy' we used them on our adventures to stop Grunty." Banjo said as he held it in his hand. "Oh hey there's a note on the back of the Jiggy." he said as he pulled off a small note from the puzzle piece.

"Well read it if you want to." Fluttershy said but then started to regret what she said in mutters.

"Lets see, it says 'I can't believe you guys aren't stuck in the filthy Cloud Cuckoo Land trash can, but you may try to find me on top of a giant snowman'." Banjo said as he started to read the note.

"A giant snowman? Where the hay are we gonna find a snowman let alone a giant one?!?" Applejack asked in confusion.

"Maybe in the frozen wastelands a few hundred miles from here." Rainbow Dash said to give a possible answer.

"Well let's try to get to that ice cube tray of a land, and find a us a snowman." Twilight said as she walked back to the door.

Author's Note

Yes there are jiggies in this story but they will be used later the gang will gain jiggies whenever they complete a important mission or defeat one of Grunty's head minions

Oh, sweet Celestia (edited)

(Here is some music once more)

"Ha ha, your friends will soon be fried shish kabobs, once I fire the newest version of the life draining machine called the 'Big Ol' Blaster' also known as B.O.B.!" Gruntilda said as she started to program the doomsday device towards our twelve heroes. "So long Banjo and your little pals too." she said as she pressed the button to shoot the laser.

"Well that was a weird and unexpected experience for us." Kazooie said as her and the others walked out of the castle.

"Aw, come on Ms. Feathers it could be worse, I mean a giant laser can pop out of nowhere and just turn the castle grey and make everypony inside lifeless husk of their former selves." Pinkie said as she jumped up and down with a grin on her face. As if on timing the B.O.B's laser was heading towards the castle and sucked the very life out of it like a vacuum.

"Cadence!" Twilight shouted as she started to gallop towards the now lifeless fortress. As she finally made it into the castle she could see that everything was now dead, even the ponies within."OH, SWEET CELESTIA!" Twilight screamed as the rest of the gang came in and they saw Cadence now various shades of grey and her eyes looked as if she was blind walking aimlessly around her throne room moaning like a zombie.

"Aw man, not another Jingaling incident!" Banjo said as he picked up the now blubbering Twilight out of the castle and carried her to the train station.

"What *gasp* just *gasp* happened?" Twilight said trying to calm herself down.

"Well it look's like that punk of a witch made another B.O.B and just took the energy right out of that place." Jam-Jars said knowing it was Grunty's dirty work.

"So now she's recycling plots from both games? Man she must really be out of ideas." Kazooie said as she shook her head in disappointment.

"Banjo, what did you mean by a Jingaling incident?" Twilight asked after about five minutes of crying.

"Well, back home Gruntilda had this weapon her sisters made to bring Grunty back to life, their first target was the king of the Jinjos named King Jingaling he ended up like your friend in that castle." Banjo said trying his best to explain the situation to the purple mare

"Well now we have more than just one reason to stop that witch. Now I want revenge for my family." Twilight said as her eyes started to close as if she was a vigilante gazing upon a crime riddled city.

"Well first things first we need find more jiggy's so we can find Gruntildas hideout." Bottles said as he grabbed the note to read it again. "Well we may be able to find her on top of the giant snowman possibly in these frozen badlands."

"Well Mumbo will try best to teleport us to frozen land, hold on to hats everyone!" Mumbo said as he grabbed his staff.

"But honey, we don't have hats." Rarity said poking a hole in the shamans statement.

"Well, you know what Mumbo means." as he started to wave his staff and the whole gang was enveloped in sparkles and disappeared out of thin air.

Within the frozen wastelands a large circle of sparkles appeared and popped out our heroes in the frozen plains. "Welcome to the frozen wastelands! Rainbow said as she started to fly up but since the winds were so frigid she fell down face first in the snow.

"Well flying will be no use to us now." Kazooie said as she started to rub her wings. "Now all we just need to do is find that... giant... snow...man." she said as she looked behind her and saw a fifty story high snowman with a red and yellow scarf wrapped around it.

"Oh my, how are we going to climb that snowman without freezing?" Fluttershy asked looking at the size of the snow goliath.

"Well we could do what me and Kazooie did, we'll just climb the back of the scarf to the top."

"Well that seems simple enough." Applejack sad as she started to walk around to find the large scarfs end and saw to her amazement that it was formed like a plight of stairs. "Well that's even more convenient."

"Come on everyone let's start climbin'." Banjo said as he climbed the first few steps. The gang then started to climb up the spiral like scarf up as the cold winds constantly pounded on them but after a few hours of cold climbing they had reached the head of the snowman. The head had green eyes and a large corn cob pipe with logs making up the mouth.

"Ttttthere is there anything else we need to do, because Pinkie is turning into a popsicle." Rainbow said in an annoyed tone.

"Well I'm so cold that my beak can be used like a novelty sized pair of scissors." Kazooie said as she felt the sharpness of her now frozen beak.

"Well I'm so cold that I can use my nose drippin's as a pair of chopsticks." Banjo said as she broke off his frozen snot and worked them as actual chopsticks.

"Well we need get on top of hat and get jiggy." Mumbo said as he tried to hug Fluttershy to stay warm.

"Hold on let me try something." Twilight said as she charged up a teleportation spell. As soon she gets on top of the hat she grabbed the jiggy in her mouth and she teleported back to the gang.

"WHY DIDNT YOU JUST DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?" Kazooie said in anger thinking they wasted time climbing the snowman.

"I had to get to a closer range if I wanted to teleport here since the place is to cold. I need to concentrate harder if the environment is working against me." Twilight said as she told off Kazooie.

"Let's read note already." Mumbo said .

"It says "So now you must take a large bend back to my first attack so you can meet a so called 'friend'." At least this make more sense than the last few." Bottles said as he started to think of the place the witch attacked. "Everyone back to Ponyville." As soon as he said that statement everyone just groaned knowing they have to waste time teleporting back to the train station.

Author's Note

Barro if you read this I'm so friggin' sorry but I saw an opportunity and took it

Tricky impersonater

The ride back to Ponyville had been excruciating all the way. Not only from trying to get over the cold, but the fact they spent the time getting more acquainted with each other. "You think we could've done this when we got here in the first place." Bottles said as he cleaned his glasses.

"Well when the writers skill is lacking and leaves for nearly four years..." Kazooie retorted, "Things are bound to happen."

"So who do we go to so we can figure out this riddle?" Jam-Jars asked as he looked closely at the parchment.

Pinkie quickly grabbed the paper and stuffed it into her mane, "Well if there is somepony that we know that talks in riddles and rhymes, it's Zecora!"

"Good thinking Pinkie." Twilight said, "She could figure this out."

When the train stopped at the Ponyville train station the group started the long trek towards the Everfree Forest a strange feeling began to overtake the group. A looming sense of the unknown and danger was throughout the trees until they came across a rustic looking hut in the shape of a tree.

"There it is!" Applejack exclaimed, "After all we've been through... this is a sight for sore eyes."

"Let's not waste any time then." Rarity said, "The faster we get this riddle solved, the better."

Pinkie didn't need any further instructions as she bolted towards the door.

"I think you guys should stay out here." Banjo said, "This should be easy enough." With that The duo and Mumbo began running in Pinkies direction

"Pink pony needs to start slowing down." Mumbo said as he tried to catch his breath, but of course Pinkie wasn't listening as she began to knock on the door furiously until the door slowly opened up.

"Zecora?" Pinkie asked as the four slowly walked in to only see the zebra witch doctor just staring blankly at the window.

"Oh, hello friend." Zecora said, but it didn't sound like her at all. It was all off putting; she didnt really rhyme nor was she brewing any sort of potion or elixir.

"Zecora, are you okay?" Pinkie asked, "You don't seem yourself today."

"Trust me, I am fine." Zecora said as she wandered towards the large cauldron in the hut, "Come I'll help you on your quest."

Before Pinkie could respond Banjo interjected, "Excuse me ma'am, but... we didnt even get to tell ya on what we came here to do."

Zecora began to look around crazily before dropping the charade, soon enough Zecora's eyes began to glow eerily red and fired off two lasers towards the four, soon her fur came off and she was quickly revealed to be a Clunky mechanical monstrosity .

"Not so dim for a country bumpkin are you bear?" The Robo-cora said, "I wont be much of a heap of scrap metal like back in Cloud Cuckoo Land."

"Bring it on junk heap!" Kazooie shouted. Robo-cora began firing more lasers forcing Mumbo to jump into a nearby closet.

The remaining three began to run around causing the robotic duplicate to try and chase the more annoying one- Pinkie. It would've seen like she could've went after her IF she wasn't moving slower than frozen molasses in the middle of a snowstorm. This gave Banjo and Kazooie an opportunity to start attacking the robot zebra; causing Robo-cora to start chasing the dynamic duo. Pinkie saw this as an opportunity to return the favor and started to attack the robot, and given her erratic and quick movements the robot was having difficulties even touching them.

Eventually after all the fighting, the robot began to short circuit and soon fell apart like a pile of poorly constructed building block statues. "Phew!" Pinkie exclaimed, "That was crazy."

"Well be glad we aren't racing a big bird on rail carts." Kazooie said, "Speaking of Cuckoo Land, where the heck is Mumbo?!"

A sudden noise came from the nearby closet, soon enough Mumbo fell out along with a zebra covered in rope. "It was getting hot in there." The shaman sighed before the Zebra got up and walked towards Pinkie.

"I cannot than you enough, fending off that thing was more than tough." Zecora stated.

"Well it's glad to hear you rhyming again Zecora." Pinkie said with a smile, "Say, you wouldn't happen to know to see a jiggy around?"

"The order may seem a bit steep..." Zecora replied as she walked towards the scrap pile and saw a golden puzzle piece, "I did found this within that metallic heap."

"That's it!" Banjo exclaimed as he quickly grabbed the collectable. Much like the others they found it had a note taped to it. "It says: 'Nice trick knowing my old tactics from the past, but now we'll see in the water if you are fast.' "

"What the heck does that supposed to mean?" Kazooie asked.

Zecora looked at the note, "I believe the note is trying to say that the next task is with the water, I suggest you get there while the iron becomes hotter."

The group though confused got the gist of what the witch doctor was saying and proceeded to get back to the others.

"Did you talk to Zecora dears?" Rarity asked, "You seemed to be in there quite a while."

"Well we had to fight a robot duplicate of Zecora, and we found the real Zecora stuffed in her closet!" Pinkie said as she started to perform the whole series of events with crudely made sock puppets and confetti.

"Point is, zebra told us what next puzzle may be." Mumbo stated, "It somewhere near water, so we should start following river."

Twilight began reading the note and saw they were right, "Alright then, we gotta find that river we found with that sea serpent."

"It shouldn't be that far from here." Fluttershy said as she began to lead the way, "I know the way over there!" The group started following the timid Pegasus deeper into the woods as the sudden sound of splashing water was echoing.

Author's Note

Wow it feels so GOOD to return to this story. But yeah, its been like 4 years since I touched this story, but when it comes to Banjo & Kazooie it can be worth the wait.