Why does the universe crave insanity?

by Dredgen

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Dark, Alternate Universe
Length: 3662

Equestria has defeated Nightheart Solaris, the stallion with such a darkened soul, his blood runs black and cold. Nightheart has been locked away in stone for centuries. He is insane. When he breaks out. He wants Celestia's head.

Nightshade Solaris, an ancient pegasus stallion has somehow broken out of the statue Princess Celestia sealed him in 900 years ago. He plans to get revenge. But because of his strange abilities, he is insane. Will he become good and help Equestria? Or will he become the evil monster ponies saw him as so many years ago again? Or will something rather strange happen..?
[This is a silly story i planned for a long time and i decided that i would release the first couple chapters.]
[It will not be done in a long time, i promise you that.]
It would be great if someone gave me a picture to be the cover photo that fits.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-20 19:52:05 UTC

The Return

      And so the Story begins..

                                                                                                                                                                                                  ''And so the Nightheart The dreaded finally was defeated by Princess Celestia as he led the raid unto Canterlot.''  ''Even so, Canterlot was in a horrible state as fires still burned the city, and the ponies within.''

''After many weeks of repairing and helping citizens, Princess Celestia was finally able to cure the rest of Equestria after the horrible ordeal.''

  ''After helping the rest of Equestria, Celestia locked the statue of Nightheart underground, and he was never seen again.

The End.''

Finished Twilight, after reading the whole history book about Nightheart to her friend.

''Don't you think that book was exciting!?'' Said Twilight happily.

''Twilight, ah think that book was a bunch of Horseapples.'' Said Applejack.

''And how come?'' asked Twilight said questionably.

''Because that book was written by that ol' Cult Duskrain.''  ''And ya' know that Cult Duskrain is a bunch of silly ol' sods making up stories an' callin' it history.'' Said Applejack defensively.

''I Guess so..'' Said Twilight.

    ----

*Elsewhere

''I am tired of sittin' in this darn goofin' ol' dang piece of rock!'' Nightheart said as he had been  the past couple centuries. ''Wait a minute... don't i.. dangit Celestia and your dang amnesia spells!'' Shouted Nightheart inside his mind.

And with a silent ping noise, he teleported out of the statue to a random location.

He ended up in a large orchard of apple trees. and he just basically started swallowing all the apples off the trees. ''I haven't tasted the great taste of apples in a long time.'' he thought.

And then he heard something. And then he turned around and saw a yellow filly with a red mane and large bow. He then screamed like a newborn hydra, and that sound isn't very wonderful.

And the little filly started screaming too. it took about 15 minutes for both of them to stop screaming.

Since he knew ponies wouldn't tell their children his tale, as it was so horrendous, he acted normal.

''Sorry i was eating those apples. i haven't eaten in a long time.'' He said.

''It's ok stranger. but hey now, if you haven't eaten in a long time like yah said, you should come home with me.''  ''we're about to have dinner. Mah family is friendly to strangers.'' said the filly.

What's yer' name anyway? asked Applebloom.

''Starlight blade, and thanks.'' Nightheart lied.

''Mah name is Applebloom.'' said the filly Nightheart now recognized as Applebloom.

Applebloom then lead him to their farmhouse. He could tell she lived on a farm because of his ability to tell what anything was just by smelling it.

They arrived at the house in a couple of minutes. And then a smell hit him. He smelled apples. Cinnamon apples. Apple fritters. Apple pies. Apple Strudel. Apple jam. His brain went wild.

Before we eat you gotta meet my family. said Applebloom happily.

Nightheart then thought to himself. ''By the beard of Starswirl..''

   ----

''Anyway Twilight, i better get on home.'' Said Applejack.

''Ok Applejack. plus, i still have to study.'' Said Twilight.

Applejack then left Twilight's library. In the distance she could see Pinkie having a party of some sort. She could also see Rainbow Dash lying on a cloud near her. Applejack waved to Dash and Dash waved back.

She then sped up to a trot and continued home. On the way there, she started thinking about that Nightheart character. She just shrugged it off and continued home.

   ----

Applebloom first introduced ''Starlight Blade'' to Her apparent brother, named Bic Mac.

''Wow!'' You're even taller than Bic Mac!'' exclaimed Applebloom.

''I'm not too much taller than him.'' Said Nightheart.

''Eeyup.'' Said Big Mac.

Applebloom then introduced him to her Grandmother, Granny Smith.

''Hello m'am.'' said Nightheart calmly.

''Hello dearie.'' said Granny Smith. She then fell over asleep.

''Um....'' Said Nightheart confused.

''Don't mind that. She does that alllll the time.'' explained Applebloom. ''I also have a older sister named Applejack. she'll be home soon. She's usually late so we can eat somethin' without her gettin' angry.''

Applebloom then went into the kitchen with her brother. Granny Smith woke up and sat at the table. so did ''Starlight Blade.''

Big Mac then set down some plates with many delicious foods, which one of them looked like like fried hay.

''Dig in.'' said Granny smith and everypony started smashing the food against their face like a baby. (not literally)

Nightheart basically ate all the fried hay before anypony could reach for it.

   ----

Applejack finally entered Sweet Apple Acres and came into the Farmhouse.

She saw that her family was eating dinner and sat down next to Applebloom, and after eating some apple fritters, she noticed the strange stallion sitting at the table

.

''Big Mac, who is this?'' asked Applejack.

''Some stranger Applebloom invited for dinner.'' ''His name is Starlight blade.'' explained Big Mac.

''Well applebloom?'' asked Applejack.

The Parties, They burn!

CHAPTER 2

''Ah found him eating some of our apples after i was coming back home from Crusading.'' ''He says he hasn't eaten in a lonnng time and so i thought it would be nice to invite him for dinner.''

''Ok, and what does he expect to give us back after we gave him food?'' said Applejack.

''He could work it off.'' offered Applebloom.

''WHAT?!'' ''NUH-UH!'' ''I AIN'T GO NO TIME FOR DIS'!'' yelled Nightshade and he opened up a portal with his hooves and jumped inside.

He was sitting down where he was before when he jumped through and the portal closed.

''He won't need to give us anything back for the food we gave him.'' Said Applejack. ''Hey, wait.. have you been to Ponyville Mr. Starlight Blade?

''No. I have not.'' said Nightheart Solaris.

''Well, i reckon i better take you there tomarrow.'' Said Applejack.

''But first you gotta rest.'' ''The Guest Room is upstairs on the left at the end of the hallway.'' explained Applejack.

''Th-ank-ank-ankankankank you you you Ms. Applejack.'' Said Nightheart in a disordered voice.

''Are you ok Mr.?'' Asked Applebloom.

''Yes.'' Said Nightheart after smacking himself in the neck.

*Next day man! away! ooooOOOOOH!*

Nightheart felt he was acting innocent too long as he woke up. He then remembered that he had some sharp Canines. teeth that other ponies didn't have.

Meaning he could eat meat. ''Meat tasted better than flowers.'' he thought. And so he teleported behind a helpless chicken outside his window in the field, ripped it apart with his hooves and ate in alive, quickly. in 5 seconds matter-of-factly.

And then he teleported back in his room, brushed his teeth and flossed. washed his mane and opened up the main breathing function panel in his chest and put it on gentle and shut it. He ate breakfast already so he put on his Brown Trench coat and waited by the door.

   ----

Over at Sugercube corner.* Pinkie pie suddenly felt her Pinkie sense. A party was gonna happen soon. And it was gonna be AWESOME! So she loaded up her party cannon.

   ----

Applejack and Nightheart set out for ponyville. The first place they took a stop at was something Something Called the beootee booteekae. ''Applejack said something like that.'' ''I think being in that statue made me forget how to spell.'' thought Night.

A Unicorn mare worked there. She had a White coat and had a fancy styled purple mane.

''Oh hello there Applejack dear!'' ''Are you here for a dress or would you like to chat?'' ''Ooooh! And who's your Stallion friend here? ''Rarity, this is mah friend Starshine blade.'' '' I'm introducing him to our friends today.'' ''Ok dear.'' 'Be careful with Twilight though. She is studying i believe.

''But my handsome stallion!'' ''May i rid you of that nasty coat and give you a proper gentleman suit?''

''Oh heck no.'' Said Nightheart. and they left.

''We outta go see mah friend Fluttershy.'' She cares for animals left and right. Maybe we can get yah' a pet.

*after like 10,000 years of walking, Fluttershy's cottage.*

Applejack knocked gently on the door of Fluttershy's cottage. A pegasus mare with yellow coat and very long pink mane with blue eyes poked her head out of the door.

''Oh um..'' ''Hi Applejack.'' ''Come in please.'' said Fluttershy. ''Thank ya' Fluttershy. ''Is it okay if my friend here Starlight comes in here as well?'' '' Um.. No problem..'' Fluttershy responded. And she let them in. The house was basically PLASTERED with animals.  Nightheart thought he was still being too innocent. ''Maybe i'll use a different dimension gate and come back here. sounds great.'' And so he stepped through the freshly made portal. After having a slight stop in the ice cream dimension,  he was surrounded by his four best troops back in the war. ''Dangit you guys, i forgot what your names were.'' said Nightheart.

''Erm... i think my name is Colonel No-pony.'' Said the tallest one. ''And i think my name was Tartarus Nova.'' said the one that had basically 50,000 grenades strapped to himself on a belt.

''My name is Scrapper, sir.'' said the changeling Nightheart was able to brainwash.

''AND, UH I THINK MY NAME IS ETERNAL SHOUTING!'' said the one that had a giant scar on his face.

''Ok then.'' Said Nightheart. ''Today we are going to activate the Sky Liberator. ''

''But, er.. sir. you said we were never supposed to use the Sky Liberator.'' said No-pony.

''WELL WE'RE USING IT YA' POTATOHEAD!'' Yelled Nightheart.

They all walked away to the ancient city of Coldridge. It took about 5 minutes to get there.

''All citizens return to your homes! Hey! and that means you Dawn Platinum!'' shouted Tartarus Nova.

They all trotted over to the hanger that was on the other side of the underground city.

All the engineers knew what they were doing. And so did all the troops. And all the mainentance and all those other fine ponies.

I'm not even going to describe how long it took them to get up there after all those workers flooded up through the doors.

''Alfredo Pasta whatever! Go get on the Controls!'' yelled a random pink pony.

''Um hey, who are you?'' questioned Nightheart.

''OhhitheremynameisPinkiePieihaventseenyoubeforesoitstimeforaparty!'' ''And what does this button over here do?'' Said Pinkie Pie after smashing the button with her hoof.  ''Who left the self destruct button unprotected?!'' yelled Nightheart angrily. Then a giant siren went off. And they stopped giving out free cherry pie in the mess hall.

Everypony went hysterical. They started screaming and running around.

9. 8. 7. 6...

Someone pushed Pinkie Pie out of a window and she started burning because of the fire from a thruster she had passed through.

And she started laughing really weird as she fell. ''The Parties, They burn!'' she said before landing in a lake.

All the pegasi dove out of the windows, along with Nightheart and Scrapper. ETERNAL SHOUTING jumped out and forgot he was an earth pony so he splattered.

I really don't know what happened to the rest of the ponies, as i'm just a voice in your head. The Airship started exploding, and then it crashed into Canterlot. Nightheart fell through a portal as he hit the ground.

''I though mah friend here would like a pet.'' suggested Applejack.

Fluttershy was bursting with adorable joy and started listing animals.

Nightheart picked an earthworm. he named it Terraworm which is the same thing.

After a while of discussing evil plans with Fluttershy's rabbit, Angel secretly, Nightheart and Applejack left.

Now we gotta go see mah friend Pinkie Pie.

Nightheart fell over.

The Truth, it burns too!

CHAPTER 3

''Oh, we better go tell Rainbow Dash about this though. Well you can. I'm not a pegasus.''

''Ok.'' ''Where is this Rainbow Dash..?'' Asked Night.

''She should be up in Cloudsdale.'' Said Applejack.

''Which direction except for up is it?'' Said Night.

''It's just up. we're standing beneath it.'' Explained Applejack.

And so Nightheart Solace [shorter version of his full name.] flew up over to Cloudsdale. He could see a mare with a cyan coat and a strange rainbow colored mane in the distance.

He flew up over to her.

''Excuse me, are you Miss Rainbow Dash?'' asked Night.

''Yeah that's me.'' ''You wanna autograph or somethin'?'' Said Rainbow Dash rudely.

''No.'' ''Your friend Applejack told me to come get you for some party that some mare named Pinkie Pie is throwing.'' explained Night.

''What's your name anyway?'' Asked Rainbow.

''Starlight blade.''  ''She said the party was going to happen over at Shugarqwube Kerner or something.'' Night explained.

''I'm gonna go ask Applejack if there's any more of her friends to notify.''

''Ok then.'' said Rainbow and Nightheart flew down over to Applejack.

''Anypony else i should notify?'' asked Night.

''Mah friend Twilight Sparkle.'' ''She lives over in the library.'' said Applejack.

''Ok then.'' ''I've seen people live in weirder places.'' Night told her, and he flew off to the library.

On the way there, he thought to himself if he could hold this innocent act much longer.

He landed in front of the door after a little while and knocked on it.

A purple unicorn mare answered the door.

''Hello! Is there anything you need?'' she asked before a DRAGON stood next to her in the doorway.

''There is a dragon standing next to you.'' Said Nightheart nervously. He really didn't like dragons.

''I know, his name is Spike.'' Said Twilight.

''Anyyyyway, Pinkie Pie is throwing a party and i was told to get you or something.'' explained Night.

''Wait a minute, you look like Nightheart ''tartarus' Solaris from that book i read!'' ''I bet you are!'' said Twilight angrily.

Nightheart gulped. ''Er.. no i'm not. totally not him.'' he said nervously. And she bashed him in the head with a heavy tome and he fell unconscious.

When he woke up he was in a Canterlot dungeon. He wondered how she got that book about him. It was restricted.

The guards had given him a piece of cheese. He ate it.

But then he took action. He pried apart the bars of his cell to the guards surprise.

The guards stabbed him with their swords, but they barely affected him. he flew up in the air and did several swift kicks to the first guards face, breaking his jaw. He then took the injured guards swords and cut off the other guards head. Nightheart thought it was beautiful to see blood again. He then broke down the wall to his cell and made a wild dash for the Everfree forest.

He then ran across the ancient city of Coldridge.

He knew his friends were dead. They died in that city when Celestia destroyed it.

But he couldn't think about it.

He then found his old gear lying around by one of the entrance pillars. a chrome armored black trench coat, that came with a black bandana that had silver designs on it that looked like sharp teeth, made of string.

He found his old bade, Soul Crusher. The only blade that could defeat an Alicorn that he had stolen from the enemy bane dimension. it was very convenient they had one. Whoever wields it, it gives great power to the user. And whoever has that power, their eyes glow red and they become immediately feared by all.

He also found his favorite thing. His bag full of chocolate bars.

He equipped his gear, ate some chocolate, and remembered Professor Dumbell. He could help him.

   ----

''Twilight, ah can't believe this entire time that stallion was Nightheart.''

''I'm surprised too. but, i heard from some guards that he escaped from prison.'' ''Broke a guards jaw and decapitated the other.'' Said Twilight.

''But, if he's on the loose, he could start a war again!'' Said Applejack nervously.

''I know. Princess Celestia sent me a letter.'' ''She says that we have to stop him''. ''His abilities are almost limitless, she says only the Elements of Harmony can stop him.''

''Okay Twilight, maybe tomarrow we can try and hunt him down before something too bad happens.''

Rainbow Dash then flew down to twilight's house and came in.

''So this Starlight guy was really a evil deathlord named Nightheart Tartarus Solaris, Huh?''

''Well i bet i can mess him up!'' Said Rainbow bravely.

''Hmm, let's not focus on fighting him girls, if he can withstand 500 flaming boulders and 1,000,000 sword strikes, i don't think fighting him would be a good idea.'' ''And that's him without his armor and gear.'' Twilight explained. '' I remember reading in the book that he was not always evil.''

''That someone took his family away from him and he became evil when the murderer used him. He then killed the murderer, which is ironic really, and he became warped in some kind of dark magic.''

''Maybe we could turn him good again, like with Princess Luna and Nightmare Moon.'' Twilight suggested.

''Anyway, i did notice that Nightheart had Canines when he came on the farm. That means he also eats meat. It's really sickening.'' said Applejack with a look of disgust on her face.

''Maybe we could lure him with meat and turn him good?'' Twilight saidd, giving another suggestion.

''Twilight, where would we get a whole buncha' meat and it wouldn't look suspicious?''

questioned Rainbow.

''I don't know Rainbow. I don't know.'' said Twilight Sadly.

The part where things get really weird

Night had been sitting on his throne, surrounded by dancing prunes and singing onions, in a palace made of skin.

On his giant HD television set he was watching a bunch of ponies dying from all the nukes he had recently ordered to be  dropped.

He then got up off his throne and ripped off his head, and grew it back, and ate the other one.

He walked outside onto his balcony to see the beautiful sunset while giant airships and vegetables flew around blowing up stuff,

during the time that the undead in the streets usually ordered brains from a food truck nearby.

He walked down the many steps that lead to his fleshy palace and took out a shotgun and started shooting it into the giant tuba in front of him while his legion of clones slaughtered a bunch of chickens, one of which looked like a orange filly with a purple mane for some strange reason, but that didn't matter. He was king of the universe now, master of all. Only he knew his secret. He wasn't the only ''Night Solaris'' that had existed. In fact, he was Unit 4959 under command by Nightfeller Duskrain, the great unending, the only pony with the ability to whatever he wanted with no boundaries. He could manipulate the fabric of reality around him, and to complete his quest of conquering the universe, made clones of himself and sent them all around the cosmos. Duskrain had only one clone that could be sent to another dimension however, and that was Unit 4959, the doomsday device of his own mad creation.

Night laughed and laughed and laughed until one of his couriers popped up in front of him with a frightened look on her face.

''My Lord, Bruce Wayne is on his way here!'' She said quickly, looking down at the road in front of them.

Afterwards, a large car sped towards them, and it stopped to a halt a couple feet in front of them, almost running them over.

A large bipedal creature then opened up a door on the side of the auto-mobile, and stepped out. It was wearing some sort of costume that looked almost exactly like the one that bat-mane wore. Then, a pony dressed like a clown jumped out from some bushes and started brawling with the creature. They then rolled onto the street, and some zombies started ripping out their guts and started gobbling down their organs.

The courier looked absolutely disgusted and teleported away.

Nightheart simply grinned and looked at the undead feasting upon mounds and mounds of flesh.

''Well, i guess i won't have to tell Chuck Norris to open up his food truck tomorrow.'' He silently said to himself.

The journal.

4/12/9 A.D. (After Discovery) Journal of Applejack.

It has been 5 days since Nightheart Solaris visited this Professor Dumbell pony that we captured.

It's not like that matters anymore. Nightheart destroyed Canterlot.

He didn't burn it like last time. He dropped a 40 megaton bomb on it.

Equestria is suffering.

And it doesn't help that he has clones of himself as his army this time, patroling around, killing everypony.

Don't get me started on the Hellraiser. The Hellraiser seems to be a giant flying machine that resembles Nights old airship, The Math Homework Gondola. It shoots giant fireballs at its foes and has spotlights that burn your skin.

And it is entirely operated by Nightmare Moon clones. That doesn't help at all that me and the rest of the girls are hiding in this here bunker being bombarded with cannonballs, so the ceiling keeps shaking.

Shining Armor is dead.

Spike is missing.

Discord is helping Nightheart.

Cadance is dead.

The cutie mark crusaders have been brainwashed and have been turned into spies.

I'm writing in this journal.

Owliscious or whatever, i forgot, has been eaten.

Ponyville has been raided and destroyed.

There are mutants and spores outside so we are forced to wear gas masks.

The mutants are like 8 feet tall.

Applebloom is still missing from when I told her to go deliver some apples to fluttershy.

I heard Nightheart took up Necromancy and has summoned a spell of undeath on most cemetaries.

Luna has been captured as a prisoner of war.

I think Celestia is dead. I think. I hope not.

I'm hungry.

wait here a minute.

[5 minutes later]

Ok. i got some random headache.

And i think that's enough to write down today.

Oh and i ate some stale bread.