Probitas

Chapters

Consequence of Honesty
Family Time
Pressure

Consequence of Honesty

Storm Shade adjusted the grip of the pencil in his teeth as he filled out the paperwork for yet another missing pony; the third one in the past two months. He didn't understand what could be happening. Talks had been going on around the department that a serial killer might be responsible, but since no bodies has turned up, or anything concrete to go on, for that matter, nothing could be done to follow that particular train of thought.

Storm Shade spat the pencil out onto his desk and pushed the report into a nearby folder for the sergeant to pick up whenever he came around next. He groaned and stretched his wings out. He'd be happy when all of this was over.

"Filing out another missing pony report?"

Storm Shade glanced behind him and saw his partner, Wind Racer, smirking at him. He gave an amused scoff and tilted his head in a nod.

"Second one this month." He shook his head and leaned back in his chair. "There's gotta be something more to this, Wind. Ponies don't just disappear like this."

"You buy into that serial killer theory, Storm?"

Storm Shade shrugged. "Kinda. I mean, this isn't the first time that Ponyville has had this happen, you know? I mean, I get that we live right next to the Everfree Forest, and it's an insanely dangerous place with the manticores and whatnot, but the average citizen knows not to go in there. Maybe a couple of punk teenagers going in on a dare once in a while and one goes missing, but this is something else. There's a pattern here. It's not just timberwolves."

"After this last one, I'm not so sure I can argue with you," Wind Racer murmured, pulling up a nearby chair and settling into it. "One missing pony is normal. Two is coincidence, though still suspicious, and three or more? Yeah, My bits are on serial killer too at this point."

"Which we definitely don't want." Storm Shade sighed. "Sixty years since the last one, and it took us way too long to catch her."

"Yeah that's right." Wind tapped her jaw. "She poisoned, what, her mother, two sisters, one of her mothers-in-law, two daughters, a nephew, a grandson, and four husbands, right?"

Storm grunted and stuck his tongue out in disgust. "Don't remind me. My dad worked that case. She laughed the entire time during her confession." He sighed and shook his head. "If we have another serial killer... Equestria can't handle that. I can't handle that. They're just the most horrific kind of ponies I can imagine. No sympathy, no emotions, nothing. They're just empty shells of ponies who get off on killing ponies. That's all there is too it."

"Can't argue with that," Wind said with a nod. "I wouldn't even call them ponies."

Storm opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, a loud shriek echoed throughout the halls of the police station from the direction of the front entrance. Storm and Wind's eyes widened and they bolted to the front, pushing past other officers moving in the same direction. Sensing that the crowd wouldn't give, Storm nudged his partner and pointed to the ceiling. Wind nodded, and the two took to the air, flying straight to the source of the commotion.

What they saw made their blood freeze.

Standing just in the lobby of the police station was an orange earth pony with straw blonde hair. Or at least, Storm thought it was blonde. He found it hard to tell, as the mare in question was covered in blood. Tears fell from her eyes, and she shivered like it was freezing. He touched down next to her.

"Medic!" he screamed. "We need a medic over here!"

"It's okay, Miss, we're going to help you out, alright?" Wind cooed, landing next to the pony. "You don't have to worry. Where does it hurt?"

"N-no!" The mare moaned. "Y-you d-don't understand!"

"Wait, I recognize this mare." Storm examined her for a few more seconds before nodding. "Her name is Applejack. She's the Element of Honesty. She runs and apple farm on the edge of town." He gently nudged Applejack's back legs, guiding her to sit down. "Miss Applejack? Miss Applejack, can you hear me? Who did this to you? Did somepony hurt you?"

Applejack collapsed on the ground and curled up in a fetal position, her tears and the blood staining the ground. "Ah'm so sorry!" she wailed. "Ah didn't think it would go so far!"

A medic ran up and took her kit off of her back. She sat down next to Applejack, opened her kit up, and pulled out a roll of bandages. "Okay, hon, where are you hurt?" The medic began checking Applejack's body, looking for the source of the blood. "Where did you get hurt?"

"Ah'm so sorry!" Applejack cried, a little louder this time. "Ah didn't mean it! Ah thought Ah could stop it!"

"Ms. Applejack, we need to stop the bleeding! This is a lot of blood, and you're going to go into shock if you lose much more, so..." The medic faltered, and her eyes narrowed. She pushed Applejack's bangs up, but still found nothing. "I..." She frowned, then looked up to Storm. "I don't get it. I can't find any lacerations. No wounds of any kind; not even a paper cut. Certainly not something that would make this much blood come out."

Storm frowned and exchanged a glance with Wind. "So then..." His eyes widened. "It's not hers."

The medic shook her head. "No, it isn't."

Storm sat down next to Applejack and put a hoof on her head. "Miss Applejack? Whose blood is this? What happened? Why did you come in here like this?"

Applejack continued sobbing for a few seconds before sniffling and wiping her eyes. "Ah... Ah jus' thought if Ah came in th-then maybe some good would be done. Ah could save somepony. Lotsa someponies, maybe. No more ponies would have to get cut open."

"Cut open?" Storm lightly shook Applejack. "Miss Applejack, who has been getting cut open? Who has been cutting ponies open?"

Applejack took a deep breath, then, for the first time, glanced over and stared at Storm Shade with her emerald green eyes. She let out the ghost of a chuckle, and Storm thought he may have even seen a hint of a smirk flash across her face for a second.

"Ah have. Ah'll bet that with all of the missing ponies, y'all have been talkin' about a serial killer goin' around. That'd be me."

* * * *

Princess Celestia walked into the Ponyville police station, flanked by two of her guards. Her gait was noticeably slower than normal for her, and even her millennium of practiced stoicism could not hide the aura of pain and sorrow that radiated from her. She ignored the bowing police ponies she passed, instead heading straight towards the interrogation room. Two pegasi officers waited outside of it, their faces blank. Despite that, Celestia could still sense a slight amount of shock and horror in the way they carried themselves. They looked up when they saw her and both bowed low, but she waved her hoof.

"No need for that, my little ponies. I am here for Applejack."

"Yes, Princess," said the stallion of the two. "We're the ponies assigned to her case. My name is Storm Shade and this is my partner Wind Racer. We've been handling Applejack since she surrendered herself to our custody."

Celestia nodded. "I see. And what has that entailed?"

"Well we've taken her confession..." Storm Shade sighed and draped a hoof over his muzzle. "Which isn't pretty, Princess Celestia. We're going to have a lot more missing pony cases solved after this. We've also cleaned the blood off of her and sent it to the lab. If the DNA matches anything in they system, we'll know whose it is. That'll take a fair amount of time to figure out, though."

"I see." Celestia looked over at the door to the interrogation room. "And did she name any of her victims?"

Storm Shade shook his head. "No. She just said what she did to them. I..." He hesitated for a moment. "I can tell you if you want, but it really, really isn't pretty."

"No need. I will hear it from her." Celestia took a deep breath and whispered a quiet prayer to whichever benevolent forces might be listening before looking back over to the police officers. "What's her temperament?"

"She's shaken, but she's cooperating," Wind Racer said. "If I had to guess, she's come clean because she couldn't handle the regret of everything she's done anymore."

"Perhaps..." Celestia sighed and motioned to the door. "Unless there is something else that you feel I need to know, I would like to speak to her now."

Storm Shade bowed his head and took a key ring off of his belt. "Okay. Do you want us in there with you?"

"No no, that will be alright. I'd rather this conversation remain private. Applejack will not harm me, and even if she wanted to, she couldn't."

"Yes, your highness." Storm Shade unlocked the door to the interrogation room. "Take as long as you'd like."

"Thank you, Storm." Celestia began walking towards the door. "I feel we shall be a while."

Celestia ignited her horn and opened the door. She slowly walked inside and closed the door behind her, locking it shut. She glanced over at the giant two-way mirror that made up the wall to her right, and, with another burst from her horn, the glass went black, shutting off the view. Celestia shook her head and turned to the single metal table in the drab, gray metal room. Behind the table on a hard metal chair was an orange earth pony, her fore and hind legs secured by hoofcuffs. She was staring at the table, not moving at all. Celestia grimaced and conjured up a larger, more comfortable chair for herself, which she placed on the opposite end of the table and sat down upon.

"Applejack," she said softly. "My dearest Applejack."

Applejack's right ear twitched, but she otherwise didn't acknowledge her princess.

"Can you help me understand this? I need to know what happened, and more importantly why. Why would you do this thing to your fellow ponies? I know you: this is not like you at all."

Applejack let out a single, weak chuckle, and for the first time, she looked up at Celestia and stared at her with her emerald green eyes. "Y'all think so, huh? Well, Ah guess they didn't tell ya how long Ah've been doin' this."

"And how long would that be?"

"Long time." Applejack tapped her jaw thoughtfully. "Ah think ah killed mah first pony when Ah was seventeen."

Celestia quietly exhaled and slowly shook her head. "Eight years. You've been slaughtering my subjects, your fellow ponies, for eight years."

"On and off," Applejack muttered.

"I see. Where have you been hiding the bodies? Your time is over, Applejack. We need to give the remains back to their loved ones."

Applejack scoffed again, and when she spoke next, there was a hint of pride in her voice. "Y'all think that Ah've been hidin' them in one piece? Or anythin' like that?" She shook her head. "No. Y'all ain't never gonna find the ponies Ah..." Applejack's ear twitched, and her smile faded for a moment. "Hurt. When Ah was done with 'em, Ah'd cut 'em up into tiny little pieces. It'd take hours, but after a while Ah got pretty good at it. Threw most of 'em into the Everfree Forest where the timberwolves and the manticores and the like got 'em. Fed some parts to mah pigs. They loved them some pony intestines. AB didn't know it was in there. It just got mixed into the rest of the slop we fed 'em." Applejack chuckled and shook her head. "Some Ah'd mix into the fertilizer we used for the apple trees or the corn, or whatever else we felt like growin'. Stuff like that." She shrugged. "There ain't nothin' to find, Princess Celestia, and Ah'm sorry ta say that Ah don't rightly remember everypony Ah've killed. 'N fact, Ah didn't even know a lotta ponies Ah killed."

Celestia grimaced, but she decided it would be best to move on. "Whose blood was that on you, Applejack?"

The hint of a grin faded, and Applejack's ears flattened. A quiet sob escaped her lips, and she stared back down at the table. "Ah don't wanna talk about that," she whispered.

"And yet you came in here covered in it. Was the pony whose blood it was the reason you turned yourself in?" Applejack nodded glumly. "Then whose was it?"

"Ah ain't sayin'."

"I'll find out anyway."

Applejack nodded. "Yup. But not from me."

"Very well. It is as you said: I will know within a few hours anyway. But Applejack..." Celestia reached out her hoof and gently placed it on Applejack's. "Despite all you have done, I believe there is good in all ponies. You don't live as long as I have and not see that. You are the Element of Honesty, and I still wish to help you, despite the evil you have committed. Do you realize that you are likely going to die for this?"

Applejack leaned back in her chair, and a wry smile crossed her face. "Everypony dies, Princess Celestia. Everythin' dies. Ah've been around death too much ta be afraid of it anymore. Same's true of you, Ah reckon. Ah could die tomorrow, ten days from now, ten years, fifty, a hundred..." Applejack shrugged. "Don't make a lick of difference at this point."

"I see..." Celestia took a deep breath and began mentally preparing herself for the conversation to come before continuing on. "So you gave the guards your confession. What did that entail?"

Applejack shrugged again. "Methods, what Ah did, where, how Ah got rid of th' bodies, and such."

"No motives?"

"No. Ah didn't talk about that. Didn't wanna."

"Will you talk to me about it now? I can't help you if you are not open with me, Applejack. You have done many terrible things, but if I can help you, I will."

"Yeah," Applejack muttered, looking over to the darkened mirror. "Yeah..."

Family Time

"AJ stop pacin'. Everythin's gonna be fine. Was with the two of us."

I looked back at my older brother reclining lazily on the downstairs sofa, flipping though the monthly farming magazine we'd just gotten the day before. I rolled my eyes and walked up to him.

"Come on, Big Mac, you know how dangerous births can be! With how big Ma is gettin', she could be in real danger!"

"AJ, mares give birth every day," Big Mac said, idly flipping to another page. "Ain't nothin' ta worry about."

"Easy fer you ta say when you ain't pushin' a filly out," I grumbled.

"Pa called in favors and hired some real good doctors," Big Mac said with a shrug. "Ah don't see no reason ta worry unless Ah see a reason."

"Ah still think that's a stupid way ta put things, but Ah see yer point." I took a deep breath and sat down in the hard wooden chair next to my brother. "How do ya think it's goin' up there?"

"Ma's prolly bitin' down on some stick or somethin', and Pa's holding her hoof and tellin' her it's almost over."

"Ah guess..." I looked to the stairs. "But they've been up there fer five hours!"

"Givin' birth to foals takes time, AJ." Big Mac flipped to another page. "Ma told me she was in labor with you fer eight hours." He put his magazine down and gave me one of his looks. "Don't you go worrying like you are. It's natural ta be a little scared, but you need ta relax a little bit." He pointed to the kitchen. "There's some apple pie in the fridge. You should have some. Calm yer nerves. Or do some whittlin' or somethin'. Make somethin' fer the foal."

I grunted and walked over to a nearby chest we kept in the basement. Opening it up, I took out my knife, a plastic bag, and a block of wood. I put the bag on the ground and laid down on top of it. I set the block down, steadied it with my right hoof, took the knife in my mouth, and began carving. Big Mac did have the right idea, it turned out. I had to focus on maneuvering the knife perfectly so as to make sure the design came out right, and so that I wouldn't cut myself. It took my mind off my ma upstairs trying to push out my new brother or sister.

It went on like that for about half an hour. Me chopping away at the wood making my new sibling a little pony figure. It was simple, and I could get lost in the orderliness of it. With us in the basement, I couldn't hear Ma crying, but Big Mac was surely right. The doctors were gonna take care of her. I didn't need to worry about her none.

But it was then that I heard the screech. A screech of pure agony.

I shot to my hooves, my eyes wide. I looked over to Big Mac, and even he had stood up, and I could see that he looked pretty nervous too. Something felt wrong.

"Big Mac?" I whispered after spitting the knife out. "What do ya suppose is goin' on up there?"

Big Mac looked up to the ceiling and squinted. He tilted his head and swiveled his ear towards the ceiling, and I did the same. I could hear the sound of frantic hoofsteps, even from down there.

"Somethin's wrong, Big Mac," I whispered, straightening my head. "Somethin's wrong with Ma!"

Big Mac grimaced and went back over to his couch. "Even if there is, there ain't nothin' we can do about it now. Pa'll look after her."

I growled and shook my head. "No, Ah'm goin' up there. Ah gotta know what's goin' on!"

Big Mac quickly sat up. "AJ, Pa said--"

"Ah know what he said!" I began trotting to the stairs. "Ah don't really care right now. Mah Ma's in pain, and mah new brother or sister might be hurt too!"

Ignoring the rest of Big Mac's protests, I walked up the basement stairs to the main floor, intending to find out what was wrong with my ma! Unfortunately, just as I reached the top, I heard big thundering hoofsteps coming down the stairs to the bedrooms. Before I could think of anything to do, my pa reached the bottom of the steps, a wild look in his eyes. He screeched to a halt when he saw me and he gave me one of his angry looks.

"AJ, Ah told ya ta stay downstairs until we're done!" he boomed, his very voice shaking me. "Why don't ya listen?!"

I flattened my ears and tried ta make myself as small as possible. "Ah'm sorry, Pa. Big Mac and Ah just heard a loud scream, and Ah wanted ta know if Ma was okay."

Pa grunted, but didn't stop glaring at me. "Just mind me, ya hear? Stay down in the basement until we're done. We're doin' everythin' we can fer yer ma and the foal."

"Okay," I muttered. "Ah just wanted ta make sure she was doin' fine."

Pa growled, reached out with one of his big hooves, and cuffed me on the back of the head. I yelped as my head snapped forward a little bit. I stumbled forward, keeping mah head down as best I could in case he wanted to hit me again.

"Ah'm sorry, Pa," I whimpered. "Ah just wanted ta know if Ma was okay! Th-that scream scared me 'n Big Mac. We don't want nothin' bad happenin' to her or the foal."

"Applejack..." Pa growled, but after a moment he sighed quietly and sat down next to me. I flinched when I felt his powerful forelegs wrap around me, but relaxed when I realized he was just hugging me. I smiled softly and nuzzled into his chest. "Ah'm sorry fer gettin' short with ya and hittin' you. Ah had no cause ta do so. Ah'm a mite stressed with yer ma givin' birth, is all."

"Ah know, Pa," I said quietly.

"Doesn't excuse nothin'. Punishment is fer when you do bad things, and wantin' ta make sure yer ma is safe and doin' okay ain't a bad thing. Don't you worry, though. We've got the best doctors in Ponyville up there helpin' her out." Pa pushed my head up so I could look at him, and I felt glad to see that he had his big, warm smile on his face. I liked that smile. "We think it's a filly. Haven't decided the name quite yet, but the doctors are sayin' you 'n Big Mac are probably gonna get a new little sister." Pa's eyes widened, and he got to his hooves. "Speakin' of which, Ah came down fer towels and water! Confound it, Ah gotta get that to yer ma!"

I giggled and got to my hooves too. "Ma's gonna be fine with you helpin' her out," I said. "You need any help?"

Pa shook his head. "No need, but thank ya kindly, sugarcube." Pa dashed into the kitchen, and I heard the sound of the sink turning on and a container being filled with water. Despite Pa's insistence, I went over to the closet and grabbed a couple of towels which I gave to him when he walked by, a pitcher of water balanced on his back. He tossed them on his back with a word of 'thanks' and ruffled my mane. "It's all gonna be fine, AJ. Yer ma only cried loud like that because pushin' a foal out hurts like nothin' else. She's just--"

Another loud scream tore through the house, and I saw Pa's eyes go wide. He ran up the stairs as fast as he could, water splashing out of the pitcher with every step he took.

"Pa, what's--"

"Go back to the basement, AJ!" Pa boomed. "Don't you argue with me right now!"

I knew better than to disobey when Pa had his mind fixed on stuff. I quietly walked back to the basement, cursing myself for distracting my pa like that when he needed to focus on Ma. Big Mac was right: I should have stayed in the basement. I just caused trouble and took Pa's mind off of what was important. Pretty dumb of me, if you think about it.

I reached the bottom of the steps to the basement and looked up at Big Mac, who was laying down on the couch again and staring straight at me. I sighed and sat down next to my whittling supplies.

"They think it's a filly. Pa said that Ma's doin' alright, far as he can tell."

"Pa get mad at you fer goin' up there?"

I shrugged. "A little. He cuffed me on the back of the head and snapped at me, but said he was sorry. He's just stressed, is all."

I went back to my work, but it wasn't more than a minute or so before my whole life began to fall apart. It was a quiet little thing. Not at all like you'd think. Maybe it was 'cause we were in the basement, but we didn't hear no noise at all. I whittled, and Big Mac started on a book he'd brought down. That was what we were doing when I heard hoofsteps on the stairs coming down to the basement. Definitely too quiet to be Pa's though. Big Mac and Ah both stood up and looked at the stairs just in time to see a pony in a doctor's coat coming down. We both quickly stood up, because we knew that something had happened.

My heart sank when he raised his head, and I saw that look in his eye. The one that says you're sorry, but you don't rightly know how to put it into words. It was almost... strange when he started talking. I didn't quite register everything that he said, but I picked up something about how my ma had delivered the foal, but there had been some complications. She had started bleeding too much, and they couldn't save her, or something. I couldn't really register it that well.

"So..." I cleared my throat. "Mah ma is dead?"

The doctor sympathetically nodded. "I'm sorry, Miss Applejack, but I'm afraid so. Your new sister is in good health, though."

"Okay."

Seems silly that my ma had just died and that's all I could think of to say. Okay. I felt like I should have said something a little bit more than that.

"Your father is with your mother now," the doctor continued. "You can go see your sister. She's sleeping at the moment." The doctor manged a tiny smile. "She is very beautiful."

"Okay," I said again. I looked over to Big Mac, and we both nodded. The doctor turned to go back up the stairs, and we followed him, not saying a word.

He led us up the stairs to the upper part of our house where all of the rooms were. The first door that I saw when I reached the top of the steps was the one that I knew to be Ma and Pa's room. They were in there now. Pa was probably staring at Ma's lifeless body, not sure what to do for the first time in his life. I thought at that moment that I didn't wanna see Pa like that. I looked up to him more than anypony, and if he felt helpless, then there wasn't any hope for me to know what to do.

Sure enough, as we walked past the door to my parents' room, I heard the sounds of quiet sobs coming from inside. Definitely from Pa. I flattened my ears to block out the noise. I didn't wanna hear Pa like that. He was gonna be strong for us through this like he always was. My pa got stressed sometimes and that made him a little irritable, but he never cried! I'd never heard that.

"Miss Applejack?"

The voice snapped me outta my thoughts and made me realize that I'd stopped and was staring back at the door. I looked back to the doc, who pointed into an open room two doors down: the foal's room. I nodded and quickly trotted inside.

Big Mac already stood over the large crib inside the room, and even though life was upside-down and Pa was crying, I saw Big Mac smiling. I trotted over to the crib and looked down inside for the first look at my new baby sister.

The doc was right: she was beautiful. Most beautiful foal I've ever seen.

She had a nice yellow coat, and a bright red mane and tail. I thought that her hair looked kinda like yarn a little bit, which just made her even cuter. She slept under a bright green baby blanket that my ma had made for her when she was pregnant, because she knew that the baby would be born in wintertime, and she wanted her to be warm. I reached down and gently patted her sleeping head, managing a smile at the sight of her tiny barrel rising and falling with each small breath. I looked over to the doctor, who was smiling himself.

"Did she get a name?"

The doctor nodded. "Yes. Those were your mother's last words, actually. She said, 'her name is Apple Bloom.'"

"Apple Bloom." I looked back down to my sister. "Little Apple Bloom."

Ah continued looking down at her, Big Mac at my side. Neither of us wanted that time to end. If it did, reality would come back.

* * * *

We both stayed the night in Apple Bloom's room. She slept pretty soundly. Didn't wake up even once. Since it was winter, we didn't have to get up really early to start working on the farm. After the night we had, I was happy to sleep in. We needed it. Needed to forget for just a little while.

I woke up first. I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see that a nice blizzard had started. I stood up and walked over to look outside. Yup, we weren't going outside that day. I couldn't see very far, and the snow was as deep as I'd ever seen it. I'd need to get a fire going soon to heat up the house. I walked to Apple Bloom's crib and looked down. I smiled when I saw her tiny chest rise and fall. She shifted a little, and Ah started wondering what she was dreaming about. Hopefully good things.

I quietly sighed and walked outta the room, stepping past a sleeping Big Mac. We'd have to talk about what to do next once he woke up and had his morning coffee. Meanwhile, I had ta start that fire. I shivered a little from the cold as I walked outta the room. I couldn't wait to get it going. But then I stopped. I stopped right in front of my parents' room. Figured Pa was still in there; didn't know about Ma. I wanted to check on him to make sure that... well, he couldn't be okay, for sure, but see how I could help him out. He was my pa, and I loved helping him more than anything, and he'd need it now. I walked up to the door and gently pushed it open.

Pa was sitting on the floor right next to the bed, looking out the window at the snow. My heart started hurting when I saw that the bed sheets had all been taken off. Guess Ma had bled too much over them. Really made me realize that she was gone. I looked back to Pa, who didn't seem to notice that I'd come in.

"Pa?" He didn't move. "Ah'm gonna start a fire. Get the house warmed up, okay?"

"So do it then," he responded with no emotion.

I flattened my ears and lowered my head. "Okay. Is there anythin' you need right now?"

He muttered something I couldn't quite hear, but it sounded like he said 'mah wife back.' Instead of repeating himself, he sighed and shook his head. "No."

"Alright, then." I went to leave, but stopped. "Apple Bloom's probably gonna be hungry when she wakes up. Where did ya put her bottles and whatnot?"

Pa's ear twitched at Apple Bloom's name, and he didn't talk for a moment. Eventually he sighed and leaned his head against the window. "Don't have no bottles."

I frowned and tilted my head. "Sure we do, Pa. Ma bought a few of 'em when she was preparin' for Apple Bloom."

Pa shook his head. "They took yer ma away last night. Not long after you 'n Big Mac went ta see Apple Bloom. Put her in a cart and took her to the morgue. Told me Ah'd have ta come into town tomorrow ta fill out some paperwork. Gave me their condolences." Pa took a deep breath and ran his hoof down the side of his head. "Ah got real angry when they left. Just at life, Ah guess. Life, Apple Bloom, you..." I flinched back at that. "If you hadn't distracted me when Ah was gettin' the water and towels, maybe Ah could have helped more." My jaw wobbled, and I let out a little whimper at that, but Pa kept right on going. "So Ah went ta where we were storin' all of the foal's stuff, and just destroyed it all. That thing took mah wife away, and here Ah am supposed ta raise it."

"Pa..."

"Ah knew yer ma since the two of us were nine years old." Pa thunked his head against the window. "Thirty five years. Now some foal comes along and takes her away from me, and Ah gotta..." Pa hit the window with his head again. "Just don't make sense. Doesn't seem fair. She was mah wife before she was yer buckin' mother, AJ. We were married two years before she got pregnant with Big Mac. That's all we got: two years with each other just as husband and wife before a foal came along and we had ta focus less and less on each other and more and more on our foals. Then the third one comes along and takes her from me completely." For the first time, Pa turned his head to look at me, and I saw that, like me, he was crying. "Ah love you 'n Big Mac, AJ, but Ah just..." His face hardened. "Ah just wish that y'all had given me some more Celestia damned time with mah wife!"

I sniffled and wiped my eyes. "'M sorry, Pa," I whispered.

"Not yer fault. Nothin' you did wrong. Just life." Pa shrugged and turned back to the window. "Ah still don't wanna see yer new sister for a while. You two can take care of her, Ah'm sure. You'll think of some way ta get her fed until the blizzard lets up and y'all can go to the market and get bottles and formula."

"So then what am Ah gonna feed Apple Bloom?!" I cried. "She can't have anythin' solid yet, and we can't go out in this blizzard!"

Pa shrugged. "Ah'm sure you'll think of somethin.'"

I just stared at him for a minute. Apple Bloom wasn't even eighteen hours old yet, and already Pa was trying to starve her to death! I eventually figured out that he wasn't gonna say anything else, so I shut the door and went downstairs to make a fire. I opened up the furnace and tossed a few logs in before dousing it with lighter fluid and lighting a match. Despite how afraid I was, the warmth of the fire made me smile. It was just a little thing I could enjoy for a moment.

But only for a moment.

My ear twitched when I heard a strange noise, but I shot to my hooves when I realized just what it was: crying. Apple Bloom had woken up. I bolted up the stairs and into AB's room, where Big Mac already stood over her crib, stroking her mane and trying to keep her quiet. He looked back to me when he heard me come in and grimaced.

"Ah think she's hungry."

I nodded. "Yeah, and..." I sighed. "Pa destroyed her bottles and threw away the cans of formula. He got upset last night after they took Ma away."

Big Mac's eyes widened, and he turned to face me. "What?! So what are we gonna feed her?! We can't just give her apple slices."

"Ah don't know!" I snapped. "Ah just..." I groaned and walked over to the crib, where I picked Apple Bloom up and sat down with her. "Go get some breakfast goin'. Ah'll try ta calm her down."

Big Mac nodded and walked out of the room, leaving me with my crying sister.

"Shh, it's okay," I cooed, stroking her back. "Just calm down now. Me and yer brother are gonna figure out somethin' for you ta eat, alright?" I held her close to my chest and hugged her tight. "Just you relax now. Nothin' bad's gonna happen."

And just like that, she stopped crying. She made a few foal noises, and nuzzled up against my chest, causing me to smile. "There ya go. It's all--"

I stopped talking when I felt her latch on to my chest. My eyes widened, and I pulled her away from my chest. "Apple Bloom! Don't do that! Ah know yer hungry, but we'll think of somethin' for you, okay?"

Apple Bloom whimpered and reached out with her tiny hooves to my chest. She let out a single cry, and I began to figure that she'd get going again unless she got something to eat soon.

"Now Apple Bloom..." I took a deep breath. "Ah know yer hungry, and... and this is just instinct for ya. But we'll figure out somethin' for ya. Ah know we don't have anythin', but..."

Apple Bloom began quietly crying again, and continued reaching out to my chest. I gulped and began shaking. "A-Apple Bloom. We can't, okay? Ain't nothin' for it, a-alright? Just..."

Her crying began to grow louder, and my shivering more violent. Still, I realized that she was hungry. She hadn't eaten in her life, and we didn't have anything to give her. Anything at all until the blizzard let up. I took a deep, shaky breath, put Apple Bloom down, and laid on my side.

* * * *

I shakily walked into the kitchen, where Big Mac was cooking up some pancakes. He must have heard me come in, because he turned around. "Didja get Apple Bloom ta--" His eyes widened when he saw what a mess I was. My eyes were red from crying through the whole thing, and my ears were pinned against my head. I sniffled and wiped my eyes before walking over to the table, sitting at my chair, and laying my head down.

Author's Note

Wow... this took a lot longer to get out than I thought. And by that I mean over a year. I've had this story created without a word written in my stories list for as long as I can remember. Anyhoo, it's here now!

Pressure

"AJ, shut that foal up!" Pa reached out and cuffed me on the back of the head. "Ah'm tryin' ta think here!"

"Sorry Pa," I said, scooping Apple Bloom up and taking her to my room. I shut the door behind her and began rocking Apple Bloom. "Come on now, sugarcube," I soothed. "Yer alright. Don't you worry. Ah'm here for ya. It's gonna be okay." Apple Bloom's shrieks quieted down, and she nuzzled up against my chest. I smiled fondly at my sister and hugged her close. "That's right. Just hush now, little filly. Yer fine. You don't halfta worry about nothin' while I'm here."

Apple Bloom opened her mouth and began trying to latch onto my chest. I groaned to myself and put my sister down.

"Ah see. Yer hungry." Apple Bloom whimpered and began crawling towards me. "Just hold on now, Apple Bloom. Ah gotta..." I took a deep, shaky breath. "You just hold on now."

i went over to my closet and pulled out a small bottle. Grimacing, I opened it up and downed the contents in one gulp. I shuddered at the taste, but reminded myself once again that it was for Apple Bloom's sake that I endured it at all. It was a potion that triggered lactation in mares. Its intended use was for mothers who, for whatever reason, couldn't produce milk. As a last hope, I tried it to see if I could finally get my sister to eat. She wouldn't touch formula, even once we'd gotten some for her. Not that I had as a filly myself.

"Just hold on," I repeated as Apple Bloom began quietly crying and whimpering. "It... takes a minute to get goin'. Ah'm here. Just don't you worry. It's gonna be okay." I laid down in front of Apple Bloom and closed my eyes. "It's gonna be fine. It has to be."

* * * *

I walked out of Apple Bloom's room, my head low. My legs felt like rubber. I stumbled and leaned against the wall for support, trying not to break down. I gotta admit, I thought it would get easier. It never did.

"AJ?" Big Mac opened the door to his room and poked his head out. "You okay?"

"Gonna be fine," I muttered. "You don't halfta worry about me. Apple Bloom is fed and feels safe and loved. That's all that matters. She'll start eatin' real food, and Ah won't halfta do this anymore."

Big Mac frowned and leaned his head against his door frame. "You halfta figure somethin' else out, AJ. Every time you do it you come out lookin' like you've been violated. It ain't right."

"Of course it ain't right!" I growled. "Ah hate it! Ah hate every moment of it, but Ah don't know what else ta do! Pa don't wanna bring anypony else inta this right now, so what are we gonna do? It ain't like he cares 'bout AB! Not after Ma!"

"He's grievin'," Big Mac said. "He'll come around."

"Yeah, Ah hope." I sighed and sat down. "Does he think we ain't grievin' too? Does he think Ma... Ma leavin' us didn't hurt us either? Ah want more than anythin' ta have mah pa back. Ah hate bein' shut in like this. Ah asked ta go out and spend some time with mah friends, but Pa said no. Ah thought about goin' anyway, but Ah ain't about to make him mad with me. Ah'm not sure what he'd do if he did lose his temper."

"Yeah," Big Mac muttered. "But he is gonna come around." Big Mac's ears flattened. "He's gotta. He'll start movin' on and when he does, he'll find out that Apple Bloom is a wonderful filly. He'll love her just as much as he loves you or me."

"Ah wish Ah could believe that. Not sure if Ah can right now." My jaw tightened and Ah began grinding mah hoof into the floor. "Ah think he's bein' a mite selfish, ya know? It's been months and he's still not comin' out of his room 'cept for meals and some work. Ah can't remember the last time we said anythin' meaningful to each other. Ah hate ta say it, Big Mac, but Ah think we lost both of our parents that day."

Big Mac stared at me for a few seconds, but eventually he sighed and nodded. "Ah guess."

"No guessin' about it. Maybe someday we'll get our pa back, but fer now, it's just us takin' care of the farm and Apple Bloom." My ear flicked when I heard the sounds of Apple Bloom starting ta cry. Hopefully she wasn't hungry again. "Ah gotta take care of Apple Bloom. You let me know if you need me."

"Sure."

* * * *

"Applejack, get up. Yer wastin' daylight."

I cracked one eye open and started to yawn, but it died in mah throat when I saw Pa standing in the doorway. I shot to my hooves and flattened my ears. I'd fallen asleep next to Apple Bloom's crib again.

"Yes, Pa. Probably gotta feed Apple Bloom first."

"If she ain't awake, then she ain't hungry. Big Mac's already out in the fields. Get yer tail out there."

"Yes, Pa," I muttered. I thought about going to the bathroom to run a brush through my mane and tail, but Pa's mood didn't make me think he'd be alright with that. I ran downstairs, stopping at the kitchen to get an apple, before heading out into the fields. Big Mac was bucking a few of the nearby trees, and I could see a few more empty buckets lying around more trees. I made my way to one of the trees and bucked it.

Gotta admit: as hard as the work was, I liked it. It helped keep my mind off of the stuff I didn't like thinking about. I could just focus on bucking the apple trees. We had a pretty good harvest that year, all things considered. Hay, some days my pa would work close to me, and we'd kinda go back ta being happy. We'd bond over harvesting the apple trees, and it'd kinda be like nothing bad had happened at all.

I liked those days. Shame there weren't more of them.

Eventually the work day ended. I went back into the house for a shower and to check on AB. Big Mac was putting everything away, and Pa was somewhere, meaning that I had time to get cleaned up. AB would probably want to be fed soon. I shuddered at the thought.

I went past AB's room and heard crying. Not AB's crying though. I frowned and pushed the door open. Pa was inside, sitting next to AB's crib and crying. I'd never seen him cry like that before. Not even after Ma died. He had his head in his hooves and his whole body was convulsing from the tears. He kept whispering that he was sorry.

"Pa?" I said quietly. "You okay?"

Pa's head snapped up and he looked at me without blinking. He seemed surprised to see me there. I backed up a bit in case he started yelling at me, but he didn't. He wiped his eyes and gave me a watery smile. He extended his hooves, and I gently walked up to him so he could hug me.

"Ah'm sorry, AJ, Ah haven't been fair to you."

"it's okay, Pa."

"No, it ain't. Nothin' about any of this is right. You shouldn't halfta be doin' what yer doin'."

"It's fine," I muttered. "So long as Apple Bloom is safe and loved, right?"

Pa shook his head. "No, it ain't fine, and Ah'm gonna fix it. Ah think Ah've found a way to make all of this better, so we don't have to deal with this anymore. Ah was thinking of sending Apple Bloom off ta live with mah cousin. She'll do a good job of taking care of her."

I broke away from the hug and shot to my hooves. "Wait, yer gonna give up Apple Bloom? I-is this just until she gets a little older or...?"

Pa shook his head. "That thing killed mah wife, AJ. Ah've been doin' some thinkin' and Ah know it ain't Apple Bloom's fault. Ah know Ah've been blaming her for that, and that ain't fair, but Ah can't help it. Ah've been tryin' ta help it, but Ah can't. It killed mah wife and now you have ta nurse it ta keep it alive. Ain't right."

"That ain't gonna happen for much longer!" I insisted. "She'll start ta eat solid food in a few months here, then we can forget all about that! Before ya know it she'll be a happy little filly who's helpin' out on the farm. Y-you'll love her, Ah promise!"

"Ah've made mah choice, AJ," Pa said, getting to his hooves. "Ah don't want it in mah house anymore."

"Yer not bein' fair!" I snarled. "Ah ain't gonna let you do it! AB is mah sister and Ah love her! Big Mac loves her! Family stays together, isn't that what you always said? AB is yer blood!"

Our shouting woke Apple Bloom up, and she began whimpering in her crib. I ran over to her and began gently stroking her mane to calm her down.

"Be that as it may, she's not doin' anypony any good bein' in this house. Ah'm sure you can visit her every so often, but--"

"Visit?" I snarled. "Yer sayin' that like she's some dog you regret gettin'! She ain't! She's yer daughter and no amount of grief is ever gonna change that, Pa!"

Pa reached out and slapped the back of my head. "You mind me, ya hear?" he growled. "You ain't the head of this house, so you don't make the decisions. She's goin', and there ain't nothin' you can do to stop it."

I glowered at him and felt anger boiling up inside me. A weird kind of anger. Sort of like... hatred. I didn't even know I could feel something like that towards my own pa. But he wasn't really my pa anymore, was he? I didn't recognize the stallion in front of me. If Ma had survived, Pa would have loved AB more than Sweet Apple Acres itself. I picked up AB and held her close, rocking her and humming to her to calm her down, all the while glaring at Pa. After a few seconds, he scoffed and walked out of AB's room.

"Ah ain't gonna let him do it," I whispered to Apple Bloom. "He's gonna realize how dumb he's bein', then we can be a family again. He'll love ya, AB. Ah promise you he'll love you."

Despite my words, I wasn't totally sure that I believed them.

Author's Note

Help support me on Patreon If I reach 1500 bucks, I'll start doing this full-time.

Join these delightful people as my patrons!
Razer Brony
Dawson Schawang
Jim Kieger
Andrew Denton
SADE789
Balnar
Canary
Jack
Po
Comma-Kazie
QPaysTaxes