Cutie Mark Fun Time Ep. 1
It was a calm summer day when Big McIntosh decided to make food for the cutie mark crusaders, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THEY BURST THROUGH THE FUCKING KITCHEN AND START DESTROYING FUCKING EVERYTHING. Big McIntosh starts to get angry, his already red skin turning a dark purple, "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE YALL, STUPID FUCKING PONIES.
GO SHOVE A HOOF UP YOUR ASSES". He speaks to no avail, the ponies wont stop thrashing around wildly destroying anything and everything in their way. All of a sudden, Apple Bloom starts yelling, "LOOK A'ME I GAWT MY CUTIE MARK, I GAWT MY CUTIE MARK GURLS".
After that phrase of sheer fucking ear tearing stupidity was uttered, Big McIntosh finally snapped. He grabbed Apple Bloom by the head, took a turkey baster filled with a concoction of KY Jelly and juice from 1000 genital warts, and shoved it up Apple Bloom's ass.
Lowering the plunger until there was nothing left. She was still going on about her cutie mark when Big McIntosh decided it was enough. He opened the oven near him and jammed Apple Bloom inside, setting the oven to a scorching 900 degrees. All of a sudden Apple Bloom started to inflate, growing inside the oven at an increasing rate.
Big McIntosh then decided to get an ICEE machine out of nowhere and block the oven door; hopefully it would work. Big McIntosh decided not to let the ICEE machine go to waste while it was blocking the oven from a surefire nuclear explosion so he decided to grab Sweetie Bell, turn on the ICEE machine, and jam Sweetie Bells ass on the ICEEs nozzle.
He pulled the lever down, Sweetie Bell screaming as the coconut flavoured ICEE filled her lower intestines. Big McIntosh decided to jam the lever so the ICEE continuously flowed, he trotted over to Scootaloo as the ICEE machine started to smoke in the corner.
He looked Scootaloo in the eyes and said, "Yall shouldn't of messed with my kitchen, now yall are gonna get fuck'd". Right after saying that Big McIntosh picked up Scootaloo and put her in the sink, when all of a sudden Apple Bloom exploded inside the oven, chunks of pony flew everywhere, blood splattered on every square inch of the walls.
The explosion caused the ICEE machine to smash down on the ground, making Sweetie Bell explode into a million chunks of shitty coconut ICEE and pony juices.
At this point the entire kitchen was dripping with blood, the walls stained with ICEE and juice from the genital warts. Big McIntosh went near the sink and started pouring boiling oil into it, the pony tried to struggle out of the hot oil but only succeded in splattering it everywhere, Big McIntosh watched as the pony was fried in the oil, a grin on his face.
After the pony was thurougly cooked he grabbed Scootaloo's dead fried corpse and snapped off a leg, eating the whole pony, bones included. After the meal he smiled and said, "Now wheres Apple jack at?"
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