Oh the Irony

by Heika_Dashie

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Human, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 3997

A story about a wizard who recieved a second chance to fix his biggest mistake.

–On Break–
I currently do not a working computer to write on so until i get another or fix and retrieve all my writing i will not be able to update.

Luicen has had a terrible life. However now that he has finally clawed his way up the ladder and has obtained the title of wizard, he plans to take revenge on the people that wronged him. And all he has to do to get revenge is make a deal with a god of chaos.

Please note this is my first attempt at writing a fanfic so if you find a mistake please tell me so i can correct it. Thanks for reading and i hope you enjoy. Also if you wish to down vote this story it would be nice if you could leave a comment or pm me as to why you did not like it so i can improve it for future readers.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-09 06:39:23 UTC

Prologue

I open my eyes and as I return to consciousness and am greeted with the blinding sun, a pounding headache and the ringing. Every morning at the same ungodly hour the alarm violates my happiness and brings me back to the cruel reality that is life.

As I am thinking about all the happiness that has just been stolen from me, I realise that today is the day that I become a god. I break out in an evil laugh and I shoot a venomous stare at the current source of my displeasure and my most hated possession that I own, my alarm clock.

I begin to focus my inner self, holding out my hand towards the clock and murmur, “O Great lord of war and destruction. Grant me some of ye power so I can show the world what destruction truly is!” Truly the best part is that the evil little thing never saw it coming. I felt satisfied as it, my wall and a good portion of my equally annoying neighbour’s house was totally vaporised.

My face contorts to a mask of pain but after a few seconds, lights up with a delighted grin. I proceed to jump in the shower so I can rid myself of that nasty headache I am currently being plagued with, and wash away my remaining tiredness from my interrupted slumber.

After I exit the shower I am feeling far more refreshed than I was beforehand. I get to business at hand and put a cup of coffee on to brew, and throw a piece of bread in the toaster. I then head upstairs to get changed.

I hear the sirens as soon as I finish my coffee and toast, so I put my dishes in the sink and begin walking towards the door. I pick up my sword and a small leather pouch and carefully place it into my pocket, as I continue I begin to chant once again, “O Great lord of war and destruction grant me some of ye great power so I can show the world what destruction truly is.” and conveniently for me I finish chanting just as I hear a knock on the door.

I stand there staring at the smouldering wreckage which used to be my front door, and carefully start walking through the falling bits of charred timber that used to be part of the second floor, with my destination the abandoned police car that was now sitting there. It looked lonely with the keys still in the ignition, so I open the door and climb in.

I turn and look at my house for one last time and close my eyes and reach with my mind towards the house. As I reach out and I immediately find my magic soaked house and I mentally grab that power and form it into a prism shape.  “Prism protocol one hundred twelve, forbidden method forty.” I then crush the prism of power in on its self and I say, “Commence.” My voice rings out over the entire neighbourhood and a few seconds after my voice fades out the ground starts shaking and the light in the area almost appears to disappear.

I put the car into gear and floored it heading straight towards prism academy. After about five minutes of driving I hear a colossal sound not dissimilar to a clap of thunder and as I look in my rear view mirror all I could see of the neighbourhood where my house used to reside had turned into a giant black miasma with a few small glowing pockets dotted through.

I check back one more time and start to see that most of the pockets were now fading out and I smirk and think to myself, “The first part of my plan has gone brilliantly. That power hungry miasma has killed most of the skilled mages in the area and the rest of the academy’s mages will come here trying to contain it and end up getting their power drained like the rest of those pathetic fools. Leaving the academy campus helpless, and leaving me with one hell of a power boost as well.”

As I neared the campus I decide to ditch the car and make the rest of the journey on foot to avoid early detection. Just after I ditched the car a pair of determined looking mages round the corner and immediately stop in their tracks when they see me casually walking their way. “Lucien what are you doing here.” one of the mages asked. “I was in my house experimenting with matter transfer in my lab when the miasma manifested and so i took a risk and transported myself. And after I escaped the area with all my body parts intact I decided to head to the university to see if I could construct a counter spell to stop the spread.” I said.

“Ah we were on our way to the miasma now to help the Arch mage counteract it with one of the archived constructs from the library.” the other mage said.

“Ok then I shall make my to the campus and research further into this to try and determine the cause then. I wish you luck gentlemen.” I say as I walk past them. I know full well what spell construct they intend to use and if I had not built the catalyst trigger into my miasma they would have succeeded.

Just as I reach the entrance to the campus I hear a massive boom from the miasma and I feel a huge rush of magical energy flood into me. I quickly redirect the additional energy into an empty storage crystal and seal it for use later. Fortunately for me all the people who could have defended the town have fell, now enabling me to proceed with the next phase of my plan.

A few exhausting hours later I have killed off all the remaining mages and stolen all their power and sealed it within all of my remaining power crystals, leaving me with six special painstakingly crafted bottles filled with liquid crystal and my focusing rod, having already set up the ritual and re-purposing the miasma to provide a large supply of energy stolen from all the lives it has absorbed to the three pillars that once were used to protect the university.

I slowly walk to the true centre of the campus’s building and after focusing myself I begin to chant, “Prism protocol six six six Zulu, forbidden method six. Commence.”

As soon as I finish the spell all three pillars turn jet black and start conducting all of the energy they have at their disposal sending it into the true heart of the university, which was precisely where I had drawn out the ritual for the final phase of my scheme. As I wait till the ritual was fully charged I call out, “O mighty god of chaos I call upon you to aid me now. Heed my call discord.”

The room was then filled with booming laughter and an ancient sounding voice said, “Well done little mage. With this we shall finally get revenge on those that have wronged us.”

After the voice finished I feel my spell being unravelled and remoulded by something far more powerful than me. I realise in horror that instead of just sending myself through the wormhole that I opened, the entire campus would be coming with me! As I start to panic and try to stop the spell that unfortunately had just finished powering up. The last thing I register before I pass out is a light tap on my forehead and I hear a voice say, “I love my job.” And then everything turns black.

The defeat of Harmony

"You will never learn will you Discord. Each and every time you try and bring chaos and disharmony we will stop you every time because the elements of harmony are here to keep peace and prosperity to equestria and stop you and your foul plans."

"Ha you make me laugh princess sparkle. You think that I can be defeated by something as measly as the elements of harmony, well if you do give it your best shot."

Twilight ground her teeth in anger as Discord manifested a comfy chair and a glass of chocolate milk with a bored expression on his face. The elements took up formation and closed their eyes and focused on the powerful bond they had with each other.

Unfortunately for the elements as they started to power up a figure stepped out of the shadows in a corner of the room. And with a deep voice filled with power and knowledge he chanted, "Semper solus perpetuum sex divisa seorsum et sex sibi tamen omnia ita tamen omnium est unum solum in aeternum sempiternum seorsum solos."

The figure then proceeded to throw a small glass object in the air just as the elements fired. The elemental rainbow smashed into the object and split it into six individual beams of light which were no longer headed towards Discord, but now each of the multi-coloured beams of light were focused onto six small crystals sitting on a table that was placed next to where the cloaked figure was standing.

As soon as the elements opened there eyes the all realised something was wrong. They could clearly see Discord still sitting on the chair he was on before and he was laughing so hard he was tearing up. Most worrying of all the elemental rainbow that was supposed to banish Discord back to his stone prison was being stopped mid-air and being split into 6 small bottles and they could see a figure standing in the corner of the room and with a dark smile the figure chanted once again, "Semper solus perpetuum sex divisa seorsum et sex sibi tamen omnia ita tamen omnium est unum solum in aeternum sempiternum seorsum solos."

There was a blinding flash of light and after it subsided all that was in the room was Discord and the strange figure holding a small leather pouch filled with the crystalline bottles, which if you looked at hard enough one could notice that each had a distinctive glow.

The figure in the corner walked over to Discord and said, “It has been done as instructed. The ponies have been sealed, and nothing short of an act of god would be able to open them now."

"An act of god you say. Unfortunately for me there happens to be at least two of my enemies that fit that description so I propose you a slight change of the agreement we made. I will give you what you requested and on top of that you get to take them home with you for safekeeping."

"Ok, I agree to the revised terms you have set so now for my reward" the figure stated eagerly.

Discord simply flicks the figure on the head and then clicks his fingers once. After he clicks his fingers a portal opens behind the figure and he says, “That portal will take you back to your own world. When I flicked you just now I embedded a small shard of my power, which if you cultivate correctly gives you an affinity to the power of chaos. And if you don’t I suppose it will just give you power proportionate to the amount of chaos was in your world within 24 hours starting from the moment you arrive back in your world. However chaos is quite a tricky thing to control so make sure it does not end up controlling you. And to top that all off I have included a power binder which totally inhibits your access to magic, so when you renter you world you will not appear to be any different from how you were before this little episode. Also the password to release the restrictions is scelerisque pluviam and once it has been released it cannot be resealed.”

The figure looks straight at Discord and says in an angry tone, “A power binding? That was not part of the deal Discord.”

Discord summons a pair of reading glasses and a scroll and says, “What I said was part of the new deal, you should have listened to my revised terms before agreeing to them. A real shame for you because you don’t know what the terms of you keeping aforementioned shard.”

The figure states, “Well I guess our business has been concluded.” Discord then says, “Indeed it has and until next time farewell.”

The figure just shrugs and turns around, and walks through the portal completely unaware of what else discord had given him.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Note the rough translation for the spell is: Forever alone forever apart six divided by six is one all still together yet all so alone forever alone forever apart. And the translation for the power limiter’s release word is Chocolate rain

An ending and a new beginning

"Uuh my head." I groan as I slowly open my eyes. As soon as I do my senses get attacked with a barrage of input. I groan once again and begin to sit up. I hear several voices murmur with concern and after a moment I hear another stranger with a fair amount of authority in his tone say, “Sir are you ok."

I begin to say, "Yeah I'm fine....." I sit there for a moment and then say, "Where the hell am I and why does my voice sound different."

The authoritative voice begins once again and states, "You sir are currently sitting the lobby of the grand central nexus, you also seem to be also next to a crater that has an active chaos rift sitting in it. That may also explain quite a few of your changes when you get about the business of checking yourself over."

I stand up and think for a minute and say, "well now that's out of the way I guess I shall be on my wa....."

The next thing I hear is that authoritative tone begin to ask if I was ok again but I did not hear him finish his sentence. For at that moment my head was assaulted by what can only be described as a legion of foreign information. I fell to the ground once more and clutched my head while screaming in pure agony.

I screamed out, “YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS DISCORD." I could feel all the knowledge that did not belong encroaching on my feeble mind, slowly twisting my sanity till it would be no more. I quickly formulated a plan which if worked correctly would either completely destroy the information or section it off in a separate area of my brain till I could find a better solution.

I managed to scrape together enough concentration to focus and cry out," contingency construct seventy, commence.”

As soon as the spell started I felt instant relief. All the extra information that was trying to push its way into my head had stopped and appeared to no longer present. I broke out in a big goofy grin and got to my feet, I turned around to look at the rift and I could see discord sitting in a TV chair with a bemused expression on his face. I opened my mouth to speak but before I could begin to gloat he said,” I am the king of chaos kid, you dun goofed." The pain came back in full force and I fell into the darkness.

I float through the darkness for what feels like an eternity, in permanent silence. I spend every conceivable moment trying to figure out where I am, and more importantly who I am. I spend my time when not thinking trying to call out into the nothing, asking if it knew who I was and where I am.

After another eternity I hear a feminine voice call out, “do you want to leave the darkness behind and join the land of the living." I just float there for a while in shock but eventually cry out, “Yes I wish to be free of this place of eternal torment." A few moments later I see a light rushing towards me, I cry out in joy for I was now free of the darkness and as the light encompassed me I felt a whole new set of sensations the primary one being by back firmly set up upon a hard surface.

I make my way off the floor and my gaze wandered around the cavernous space, I saw shelf upon shelf filled with precious books. I see a small table piled with books, one of which was open and currently floating in mid-air, surrounded by a purple aura.

“You took your sweet time Lucien, It’s not like I was waiting six months for you to piece together enough of your mind to resemble a conscious.” The mysterious floating book said.

“Wait you said my name Lucien, dues that mean you know who I am?” I exclaimed. The book sighed and marked its place and then lowered its self to the table. Now that the book had been set to the side it seemed that the voice was not the book but was in fact a small purple pony.

The pony got up and walked over to me, looked me straight in the eyes and said, “First and foremost my name is Twilight Sparkle, ex-student of Princess Celestia.” She gave me a withering glare and continued, “Unfortunately for you I do not know much about you other than a few small things like your name and that you are a powerful magic user that assisted discord in sealing me and my friends away. And after doing so you seem to have been tampered with.”

I backed up horrified at this new information, “I did what to you, oh I can’t fathom why i would have done something so terrible to anybody. I am so terribly sorry do you think you can ever forgive me.”

She looked into my eyes once again except this time it felt like she was looking straight through me and into my soul. “It appears that you are being truthful and that any evil intent that you housed was wiped away with your memories. All I wish from you is for you to help me reunite me with my friends and that you assist me with returning me to where I am from so I may have a chance to right the wrongs that discord may have caused while I was away.”

I sat there for a little while to contemplate what twilight had said. After some time made up my mind and i said, “From what you have said i have committed numerous wrongs against you and i will be more than happy to help you if you would be willing to help me.”

Twilight looked startled for a moment but after a moment she narrowed her eyes and said, “after all you have done to harm me and my world you dare ask for help you miserable, despicable creature.”

At this point she looked positively furious. I put my hands up in surrender and said, “while i do not know the extent of the harm i have caused i wish to make things right again. I shall not ask for much other than you fill me in with all the information you have of the events that have transpired, and that after all this is done i can only hope that you might be able to forgive me.

After i had said this she calmed down almost immediately and after a few moments fell down on her haunches and started crying. I ran up to her and embraced her tightly and said, “i am so very sorry about all i have done but it is time to make things right. From what you have told me so far there are a great many things that need fixing and we need to get started as soon as possible.” I then gave her one final squeeze and let her go so that she could calm down.

"After awhile twilight stopped crying. As she wiped away her tears she looked up at me with a determined expression and said, "Alright are you ready to begin." I nod to acknowledge that i was.

"Ok the before i begin the full explanation give me your hand." Twilight said. I walk over and to twilight and place my hand into her awaiting hoof. She closes her eyes and places her horn onto the back of my hand and after a moment there was a purple flash of light and when the removed her horn there was a small star tattoo on the back of my hand.

"What is this for." I ask while examining my hand with a puzzled expression. "It will be a means of communication between you and me when you wake up. It also functions as a conduit for me so i can cast the necessary spells to unlock the place me and my friends are imprisoned in. Once i have done so you must follow my instructions to the letter. Is that clear?"

"Clear as a bell, now the story." I say, as i take a seat at the table. Twilight grabs a pillow and brings it up next to me and promptly sits down. "I shall start with the place we are currently in. This place is called The Archives and from what i have gathered it it all the the information from another place called Prism Academy, compounded into book form by your old subconscious for convenience."

"Ok so that's neat and all but there exactly is this Archive place anyways." I ask. "Why this is your mind of course silly." Twilight said with a puzzled expression. "Did the spell you cast on yourself really destroy that much." She murmured under her breath.

"And what spell are you referring to exactly?" I ask, breaking her out of her little trance she seemed to have gone into.

"Oh right, sorry about that i got list in thought." she said sheepishly. "Well anyway all of this information is foreign and was forced upon you by discord. His intent was probably was for it to break your mind so there was no way for me to ever return. As you re entered this world he must have triggered the flood of information, however you managed to cast a spell that you thought would destroy the information. Unfortunately for you the chaos shard that you received for helping defeat me seemed to have critically affected your magic and instead of wiping out the new information it destroyed all of your memories, leaving your mind to process all the info without a consciousness to guide it. After about a month I managed to partially remove the the bindings long enough to cast an advanced memory spell essentially making a copy of me and dropping it directly into your shattered mind, and form there i helped your mind categorize all the information so it had a chance to remake the being currently sitting in front of me."

"Well then......" I just sat there with a dumb expression on my face trying to process what twilight had just told me. All of a sudden a huge tremor shook the archives to there very core.

Twilight looked around with a annoyed expression and said into the air, "Oh come on did you really have to pick now of all times to start waking up, I really need a little longer with him." she turned to me and said, "we have run out of time for now you are beginning to wake up so remember you can still talk to me via the star. Oh and good luck."  She smiled and waved then everything fell away.